Стимулятор активности. Жизненно важные люди

0:00 Hello my dear viewers with you Olga Demchuk researcher of the inner world of personality today I will talk about what I want to know about myself about inferiority we all really want to be complete not need anyone to be self-sufficient and the Internet is full of all sorts of advice you have to cope yourself learn to rely on yourself you have to be independent self-sufficient and these slogans they sometimes lead a person to an even worse state sometimes even to depression let's figure out what is happening here in our inner world and so there are people around us and

0:52 these people somehow influence us and I think that many of you who observe other people they even understand why they succeed in this or that for example or personal life why this person succeeds in creating a family precisely thanks to his partner because if you put another person he would not be able to tolerate him or why a person, for example, succeeds in being in a partnership I mean in business with someone if you take away one of the partners this business will immediately begin to degrade I think you can remember a case when when two people there was someone who balanced someone, the business was profitable, you remove someone and everything went into the red,

1:42 let's figure out who these people are thanks to whom we can fully function, the last thing we would like to admit is that we need someone, this is to sign our own inferiority, and therefore when we analyze our activities, mm, relationships or business, we want to say: "It's all me" I have heard people say many times in my life: "This is my idea, I achieved this, I achieved this, I organized this, I did this" as if he is there all alone, those people who were with them are not there, well, they can still remember someone from the team, and for example, remember, say, your wife or your husband or some of your friends are not there,

2:38 but if we begin to look into it more closely, we will see that these people are there and I want to warn you right away that you do not need to perceive yourself as some kind of inferior and this needs to be corrected now, this needs to be treated, watch the video and you will understand that this is not quite true, do not strive to prescribe something for yourself as a diagnosis and treat it, and so on who stimulates our activity firstly those people who pull us up I think you have noticed, dear viewers, for example, that when you stop regularly watching, for example, Olga Demchuk's videos, it's as if there is no one to wake you up, no one to shake you up, and you start to forget something and as if you are rolling somewhere I think since you watch this YouTube

3:28 channel, then I am exactly the person who pulls you up well, in principle, this is my profession I chose it I am a psychoanalyst and some clients come to me in very deep depression and I am the one who pushes you up this pushing up is on the one hand mm help but on the other hand next to such a person who pulls you up all the time there is a desire to rebel to prove that I can do it myself and I see it in my clients when I say: "Well, that's it, you yourself or yourself" and some clients, having achieved some small successes, immediately make a decision themselves and then [ __ ] begins

4:17 to drag the person back into the same behavior that is, as if we definitely need someone who will pull us up a little and the presence of such a person - this is a necessity, you don’t have to perceive it as your own inferiority, because our dominants, especially if there were some brightly colored emotional events in infancy or childhood, will still drag us into the same scenario, so people who pull us up are, on the one hand, those who shine or highlight our inferiority, but thanks to them, we don’t seem to freeze in this dominant configuration of ours, and therefore if there is something that pulls you up, great, well, of course, you have to

5:10 look at what kind of relationship we have with this person, because their own pathologies can mature there, but if there is no one to pull you up, sometimes you can’t achieve anything, and if such a person is needed, okay, we admit it, we establish cooperation, the second type of people are the ones for whom you want to live, this person can be anyone, for many, children have become such people, for example, when there is a child and you understand that you need to provide for him, earn money for his education, that you need to row,

5:56 try, and then when you’ve already gotten used to making this your meaning and incentive in life, and the child leaves you are left with emptiness sometimes such people are loved ones or spouses and if something goes wrong then it is as if life collapses that is if you take this person away then emptiness appears and the person falls into a hole in this hole it is important to understand that this is how the psyche is built that is it is used to having someone for whom it lives and this failure will persist until

6:42 an alternative is found and also I do not suggest treating this because if a person lives only for himself then this is egoism then the person seems to have no suprapersonal goal and that's when even guests appear at home yes, I want to clean as if for myself I don't really need this that's why the one for whom I want to live is sometimes the character who begins to reveal in me the potential that was previously unavailable that is this potential as if it is there but the psyche refuses to use this energy considering that the little energy that is there is

7:34 not enough much that's why when there is someone to live for we do not treat we will be grateful to these people the third type of people is the one who supports if you analyze your periods some successful ones then you can find the person who supports this person may even be you may not be personally acquainted with him, I know from people they write to me that I am they do not know me personally but I am the person who kind of supports that is when there is someone we can rely on that is he does not pull us up like in offering to change learn develop get smarter but

8:24 the one who is some kind of support that is like a tuning fork with which we check that I also have bloggers whom I watch and they support me although we are not personally acquainted that is these are the people with whom you can check what note you are sounding on understand what is happening to you now well and undoubtedly direct support when someone says: "I am for you I am with you you are needed you are a good person" and all these fairy tales about the fact that praise is not needed I can cope on my own support is a weakness all this is in cancer that is this can be discarded but in this way

9:14 we discard our capabilities that is the potential that becomes available to us as in a computer game you passed a level and the next one opens up to you therefore support mm this is a good habit of course we want to be supported it's like with likes yes you can take material from a blogger but I'm too lazy to put a like there I'm too lazy to write comments that is everything to me everything to me everything to me and a person who only knows how to take it's quite difficult for her to realize herself because realization is precisely the ability to give so support maybe my channel maybe

9:59 on the social networks of your loved ones don't be greedy likes are very important but this kind of support that is here you know how everywhere in all these examples that I gave there are both pros and cons for example support with likes when a person only runs on this fuel that is on support he becomes very dependent on comments in which he is praised and he begins to sacrifice meaning sacrifice some of his values ​​for the sake of people giving him likes and such emasculation begins and up to devastation inside that is as if you

10:44 start running after these comments you lose the meaning that is interesting to you and you start to please your audience and then you feel used by yourself that is professional burnout is when you have already completely lost yourself and you work only for praise only for likes the fourth type of people is the most mysterious one who balances our psychosis that is all those people whom I listed before can also be attributed to them but these are our most mysterious companions on whom we are even ashamed to admit to ourselves for example people whom we hate we really need this image of the enemy I made a lot of videos about bad people when

11:35 a scapegoat is needed the one in comparison with whom I will consider myself good we need such people to channel all the darkness so that this darkness does not spill out on our loved ones that is we get angry at them hate let go of barbs devalue and it happens that a person was very close and then he you quarreled with him and he becomes this scapegoat that is you are constantly looking for his shortcomings feed off I told you at the beginning of the video that not everything is not necessary treat that is, you know, how of two evils if you can’t help but devalue letting go of pins then at least honestly admit to yourself that I need a cushion for pins in which I will stick

12:24 or darts when people play they stick darts and relax themselves there in such a strange way then those people whom we attack and who endure this need to attack to bite into someone with their teeth and this is sometimes so vitally necessary for us that we unconsciously communicate with those people who can withstand us who can withstand our psychosis for some reason our psychosis is ok for them it would not suit someone else but for them it is ok that is, it’s as if we can walk around with our psychosis and be smart in another place as I say

13:12 to my husband when I say stupid things I say: “Well, with someone I can be stupid and unthinking” that is, we need a space where we can relax let’s say so undoubtedly but we need to understand that for example a woman lives with her husband she stuck needles into him he went to psychotherapy or there matured smarter experienced something and everything the shop is closed that is he begins to fight back and in such moments it is necessary to change but when two people balance each other's psychosis it is a personal matter for everyone that is it is necessary to always look for these dark characters they definitely exist you will at least understand how

14:00 to be able to appreciate these people some for example have those whom they envy with those with whom they compete and in this competition they have at least some energy because if you take away the one whom they envy and compete with the person stops undoubtedly I have already said earlier in the videos that envy and competition are bad incentives because a person can bring himself to a breakdown but and if this psychosis is at least legalized then it will be easier if you understand that you need these dark characters for your dark side who balance your psychosis all our life partners balance our psychosis as he says: "I want to find that one" in fact

14:49 we need to find someone who will endure us then we live with those and communicate for a long time with those who are able to endure us and if, for example, with strangers we are more decent, then our loved ones know all our secrets and each of us thinks: "Here I need to put up a monument for the fact that I live with you" and we always want to fantasize that we tolerate and we are not tolerated, this is we only suffer, but I have not yet met those people who did not need to be tolerated, they do not exist, that is, everyone has a huge number of different nuances of features and to find a person who will endure you, I think this is happiness and the fifth point, the fifth type of people, those whom we are afraid of, for

15:44 our inner beast that wants to climb on our head, a tight leash is needed and when there is a person whom we are afraid of, then we do not need to hold our beast, this is what fear of this one whom we are afraid of does, I even notice how people are much more decent, smarter, more interesting when they are afraid, and as soon as they stop restraining themselves, this seething psychosis begins to pour into others and therefore when there is someone you are afraid of, it seems to build you up, structure you, and people have of which there is a lot of psychosis of course there will be excessive tension but if there is less psychosis then you are like: "Thank God there is someone I am afraid of" then I will do something there on time or I will be responsible there but this

16:30 can also turn into a state you know such paranoia when you are already being haunted by this object that you are afraid of that is you are haunting yourself but it seems to you that you are constantly checking with someone in your head if you are checking with someone in your head then first of all you need to understand that you are checking with yourself that is with your own controlling supervising internal object and so we will gather all these people the one who pulls us up says: "Come on come on I need you to get smarter be more conscious study" and so on we would like to rebel a little like teenagers those for whom you want to live the one who supports

17:22 the one who balances our psychosis and the one we are afraid of that is when you understand your peculiarities you understand your limited capabilities then you understand why you need these or those people nearby and you can organize them for yourself and you know how to appreciate them, here is the ability to appreciate those who next to this is an important skill because when you do not value and start throwing people away and do not understand how much you need them, then your life can give such a tilt and you do not understand what happened and this tilt if you do not understand the reasons it begins to worsen therefore some symptoms can be cured and some need to be balanced I will finish

18:15 I remind you that there are two of my books on sale one book is in electronic form two in paper and the books are in Ukrainian and Russian languages ​​so buy it and in August we are preparing a school of communication how to understand from one phrase what kind of person this is I say goodbye to you until we meet again