Brief Summary
This video provides a framework for building confidence by focusing on controllable behaviours. It argues against the common advice of "faking it till you make it," and instead suggests concentrating on how you look and sound. By consciously adopting confident visual and vocal cues, you can signal to your brain that you are confident, which in turn fosters genuine feelings of confidence.
- Focus on controllable behaviours (look and sound) to build confidence.
- Practicing confident behaviours sends signals to the brain, fostering genuine feelings of confidence.
- Acknowledge and explore different versions of yourself, not just focusing on overcoming shyness.
Introduction
Vinh Giang introduces a framework for developing confidence that moves beyond generic advice like "be yourself" or "think positive". He highlights the common struggle with self-confidence and promises a practical approach based on his experience speaking to large audiences. The framework was inspired by a question from a community member and is shared to help viewers overcome their own confidence challenges.
Breaking the Mold of Self-Perception
Daniel, a member of Vinh's program, shares his experience of stepping outside his comfort zone by smiling, greeting people, and even asking for a free protein shake at the gym. Vinh commends Daniel for "breaking the mold" of his self-perceived shyness. He explains that many people limit themselves with labels like "shy," "not charismatic," or "technical." The key is to explore different versions of yourself, recognising that you are a multi-dimensional person capable of embodying various traits like charisma, sweetness, depth, and inspiration.
The Look, Feel, Sound Framework
Vinh introduces a framework based on three elements: look, feel, and sound. He asks the audience which of these is the most difficult to control, and reveals that it's "feel". People often try to feel confident before acting confidently, which is the hardest approach. Daniel's success came from changing how he looked (smiling) and sounded (speaking differently), which are easier to control. Vinh suggests focusing on these controllable aspects to initiate a confidence boost.
Practical Application: Look and Sound
Vinh asks the audience to describe how a confident person looks and sounds. Responses include standing taller, taking up space, smiling, dressing well, having melody in their voice, using strong volume, and not being afraid of pauses. By consciously adopting these visual and vocal cues, you can "supercharge" your brain. As you start to look and sound more confident, you will naturally begin to feel more confident. This approach leverages the brain's response to external signals, making it easier to cultivate genuine confidence.
The Power of Practice and Embracing Different Versions of Yourself
Vinh emphasises that shyness is often a result of years of practiced shy behaviours. He highlights the joy in Daniel's voice as he discovers how differently the world reacts to him when he shows up differently. This doesn't mean becoming a fake person, but rather exploring the confident version of yourself. Vinh acknowledges that there are times when shyness can be valuable, such as when connecting with another shy person. However, he encourages viewers to stop letting shyness dominate their lives and to give confidence some "stage time."
