Brief Summary
This video discusses triangulation, a manipulation tactic used by narcissists to control, humiliate, and create insecurity in their victims by involving a third party. It explores the motives behind triangulation, its effects on the victim's mental and emotional state, and provides strategies for breaking free from this manipulative cycle through emotional detachment, setting boundaries, and redirecting conversations.
- Narcissists use triangulation to control and manipulate by involving a third person.
- This tactic makes victims feel psychologically weak, insecure, and mentally exhausted.
- Strategies to counter triangulation include emotional detachment, setting firm boundaries, and redirecting conversations back to the main issue.
Introduction to Triangulation
Haroon Ikram introduces triangulation as a manipulation technique employed by narcissistic individuals. Triangulation involves using a third person to control, humiliate, and make the victim feel inferior. According to Harvard University's definition, it's a psychological tactic where a third party is introduced into a relationship to control, divide, and validate oneself by devaluing others. This manipulation can rust the victim's mental faculties, making them doubt themselves and seek validation.
Motives Behind Triangulation
Narcissists engage in triangulation for various reasons, including hiding affairs or diverting attention from the main issue. They might use family members, friends, or even past events to control and humiliate their partner. By involving a third person, narcissists gain attention and divert focus from issues like financial problems or unmet needs, making their victims feel guilty and manipulated.
Psychological Impact of Triangulation
Triangulation makes the victim feel psychologically weak by creating constant comparisons and doubts about their worth. This leads to feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, and a desperate need for the narcissist's approval. The constant comparison spoils the victim's self-esteem, creating an inferiority complex and driving them to give unlimited attention, love, and care to the narcissist, who then takes advantage of this dynamic. Narcissists also use triangulation to create drama and division, drawing attention to themselves while keeping the victim confused and restless.
Effects of Triangulation on the Victim
The psychological manipulation of triangulation leads to dependency, where the victim constantly seeks approval from the narcissist. This results in constant insecurity and fear of abandonment, creating a state of trauma bonding. Over time, the victim experiences mental exhaustion and anxiety, leading to deteriorating health and a continuous feeling of inferiority. Despite doing everything for the narcissist, the victim feels unappreciated, abused, and controlled, yet still feels unable to leave the relationship.
Strategies to Break Free from Triangulation
To escape triangulation, the first step is emotional detachment, recognizing that the narcissist's perceptions are their own reality, not necessarily the truth. Setting boundaries is crucial; the victim must clearly communicate that comparisons and involvement of third parties will not be tolerated. Finally, conversational redirection involves steering the conversation back to the main issue whenever a third person is brought into the discussion. By addressing the core problem directly and refusing to engage with the triangulation tactic, the victim can regain control and protect their mental well-being.
