Brief Summary
This session continues the study of "A Handbook of Accepted Prayers," focusing on the emotion of anger. It explores the nature of anger, its place in faith, and how to manage it constructively through reflection, seeking refuge in Allah, and making specific duas. The discussion includes examples from the Prophet Muhammad's life and the lives of his companions, offering guidance on dealing with anger in a balanced and spiritually beneficial way.
- Anger is not inherently toxic but needs to be tamed and guided constructively.
- There are different categories of people based on their reaction to anger.
- The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and his companions provide examples of managing anger in various situations.
- Specific duas can help in seeking refuge from Allah's anger and managing one's own anger.
Introduction
The session begins with a prayer for Allah's guidance, acceptance of duas, and well-being for the community. It is a continuation of the study of "A Handbook of Accepted Prayers," focusing on the framework of dua, its etiquette, and the best times and places for making supplications. The power of dua is amplified by knowing the one being called upon, the timing of the dua, and the circumstances of the caller, especially in times of dire necessity. Dua is described as a conversation with Allah, offering emotional healing through pouring out one's heart.
The Emotion of Anger
The discussion transitions to the emotion of anger, noting it's not the strongest emotion (love is) but can manifest into a spiritual disease. Anger is explored through the lens of dua, referencing another book by the author, "Handbook of Spiritual Medicine," which discusses diseases of the heart. Related emotions such as frustration, agitation, and bitterness are mentioned, along with invoking names of Allah that relate to anger, such as Al-'Adl (the Just) and Al-Halim (the Forbearing).
Is Anger a Toxic Emotion?
Anger is not inherently toxic; it's a natural human emotion. Imam al-Ghazali identifies three levels of anger: negligence of anger when it's appropriate (e.g., when the boundaries of Allah are crossed), reckless anger that leads to crossing boundaries, and tamed anger used constructively. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) would get angry when the boundaries of Allah were violated. Untamed anger can strip a person of their reason and become a spiritual disease.
Categories of People Based on Anger
The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) categorized people into four types based on their reaction to anger: slow to anger and quick to forgive (the best), slow to anger but difficult to forgive, quick to anger but quick to forgive, and quick to anger and difficult to forgive/forget (the worst). The worst type is avoided due to fear of their harm and mischief, stemming from uncontrolled anger.
Examples of Anger from the Prophet and Companions
The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and his companions experienced anger in both elevated and innocent ways. Examples include Ali and Fatima's dispute, the Prophet's anger when someone disturbed a bird by taking eggs from its nest, and Aisha's anger towards Jews who twisted their greeting to sound offensive. The Prophet (PBUH) advised Aisha to be gentle and not excessive in her response, teaching how to resolve anger without letting it become a disease of the heart.
Guidance on Managing Anger
The handbook provides guidance on reflecting on anger, both one's own and Allah's, and using it to make powerful duas. It advises putting frustration and bitterness under the guidance of patience, self-control, reason, and religion. It also emphasizes not objecting to Allah's plan and showing mercy to others. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) had the mercy to look past people's triggers of anger and counsel them gently.
Tactics to De-escalate Anger
Tactics to de-escalate anger include changing one's sitting position, stopping talking, and disengaging from the situation. Mildness is considered among the finest qualities of mankind, though it doesn't come easy to everyone. Some people have a mild temperament by nature, while others are trained to have a rebellious temperament due to their social context.
Tests and Temperaments
The discussion touches on tests related to anger, such as dealing with needy people and not turning away in frustration. It emphasizes desiring for others what one desires for oneself and tolerating offenses, realizing that Allah is sufficient to take offenders to task. People have different temperaments, but when it comes to the boundaries of Allah, those boundaries cannot be crossed.
Duas Related to Anger
The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) made specific duas to manage his heart and seek refuge from misguidance. He also made duas out of anger against the disbelievers of Quraysh for their aggressions. Other duas include seeking Allah's fear, truth in times of joy and anger, moderation in wealth and poverty, and protection in Allah's pleasure from His anger. The name "Ya Salam" (The Source of Peace) is used to emerge from anger.
Stories and Supplications
The story of Yunus (Jonah) is mentioned, who made a powerful dua while in the belly of the whale after leaving his people in anger. The Prophet (PBUH) said that whoever makes this dua, Allah will answer his prayers. Another story involves Sa'd ibn Abi Waqqas, who made dua against someone who falsely accused him, illustrating the potential consequences of making dua against others out of anger.
Seeking Truth in Times of Anger
The session concludes by highlighting duas from the Sunnah for seeking truth in times of anger and moderation in wealth and poverty. It emphasizes using the name "Ya Salam" to find peace and emerge from anger, seeking refuge from both Allah's anger and one's own.
