Holy Spirit's Warning: 5 Kinds of Relationships You Need to End Right Now

0:00 Maybe you've been feeling uncomfortable around certain people in your life, even those you feel close to. But deep down you've had a sense that you need to create some distance, and you've been looking for confirmation from the Holy Spirit. So, give me a few minutes, and I believe that you'll get that confirmation from the Holy Spirit as we look to the word. The first kind of relationship that the Holy Spirit will warn you about are the distractors. These are people who pull you from your purpose. They fill your life with the meaningless. Now, here I need to pause because as we go through these different kinds of relationships that the Holy Spirit's warning you about, it'll be important that you apply some balance. So, when I talk about the distractors I'm not talking about people who will relax with you, you vacation with some

0:45 friends, you maybe go out to eat with some friends, maybe you just spend some time talking and laughing. There's nothing wrong with that. Everybody needs some recreation. Everybody needs relaxation. Everybody needs fellowship where they're just enjoying time with people. But I'm talking about those friends who get you to think only in terms of the here and now. In other words, all they care about is entertainment, who's hanging out where who's doing what. And if you're not careful, you'll actually end up wasting years of your life and before you know it, you'll look up and you realize that so much time has gone by and you haven't even had a chance really to apply yourself to fulfill the destiny that God has placed in your life. Look at what Ephesians says. Watch this. Ephesians 5 verse 15. So be careful how you live. Don't live

1:31 like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. You have to learn to discipline yourself and focus your mind that you might maximize the time and the energy that God has given to you. Life is sacred. God's given to you as a gift. When he created you, he created you for a purpose. He created you with a plan. He put gifts inside of you, abilities and he wants you to make use of that which he's deposited in you. Now, maybe you've known these people for a long time, so you kind of feel guilty about outgrowing those relationships. Let me tell you this. You'll notice that as you begin to grow and as you begin to improve and as you begin to apply yourself to fulfill the

2:18 destiny for your life, you'll notice that certain people around you are going to be uncomfortable with that. Maybe you have certain health goals, financial goals, ministry goals, business goals. Maybe you want to get married. Maybe you want to have kids. Whatever the goal may be, you just want to grow as a person. And, here's, what, you're, going to, notice that's going to start happening is that the individuals around you are going to begin to become uncomfortable with your growth. Why? Because the application of your skills, the giving of yourself to the bettering of yourself, the focus that you have reminds them of the focus that they lack. The goals that you set and the goals that you actually accomplish remind them of the goals that they've forgotten about and therefore the goals that they haven't

3:05 accomplished. So rather than being inspired by you, they become jealous of you and try to pull you down and keep you on their level. Why? Because they want to keep their surroundings comfortable. People who lack purpose don't like change. Because that change reminds them that they're running out of time. And so they try to keep you the same. They try to keep you mediocre. Now, as I said, there's balance to everything because there will be a tension point. You'll notice this. There will be a tension point. And what's going to happen is as you begin to grow the people around you are going to have to make a choice. Either they're going to grow with you or they can't go with you. Either they're going to be inspired to improve their lives themselves. Either they're going to apply themselves

3:50 mentally spiritually emotionally physically improve, or they're going to begin, to, say,, "You, know what?, You, go, on your own path, I'll go on mine." And often they don't even say that. They just continue to criticize you. or they begin to try to tempt you with what will distract you and again make them more comfortable because now you're not changing. Hebrews 12 1-2 says "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up, and let us run with endurance the race God has set before us." We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its

4:37 shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God's throne. Keep your eyes on the Lord. Keep your eyes on the divine dreams that God has gifted to you. Keep your eyes on your divine purpose. Keep your eyes on becoming more like Jesus. Keep your eyes on loving people around you like Jesus loved you and set aside those relationships that are causing you to be so distracted that you feel like you're doing nothing but wasting time. It's not wrong of you to outgrow people. Don't feel guilty for improving yourself. Don't feel guilty for pursuing everything that God has for you. Number two, really watch out for this one. Number two, the gossipers. Proverbs 2019 says, "A gossip goes

5:23 around telling secrets, so don't hang around with chatterers." Now, I want to point out something concerning gossip from this single verse alone. And that is that a gossip isn't just someone who goes around slandering people. A gossip isn't just someone who tells lies about other people behind their back. A gossip is someone who can't keep a secret. A gossip is someone in which you cannot confide. You share with them something very personal, something you're going through, something you ask maybe prayer for, and you say, "Hey, I'm going to share this with you in confidence. Don't share this with anyone." And they say "Sure, you can tell me. I won't tell anyone." And then they go telling people, but of course they back it up with saying, "I'm not supposed to say this to you, so make sure you don't say

6:10 anything." Well, that's gossip. You can't confide in people like that. And I'm going to say something that's a little controversial, but this applies even to spouses. Now, I know that the idea of marriage is that there are no secrets between you two. Of course, I understand that. But that's secrets between you two that have to do with your marriage. If somebody comes to me in confidence, let's say a young man comes to me from the one of the churches we have planted or maybe from a ministry venue, a young man comes up to me and he says, "Hey, I want to share something with you, but I don't want anyone else to know. I just want to tell you, please pray for me." and that young man confides in me that he's dealing with pornography, I'm not going to therefore go and say "Well, now I have to tell my wife because we're married." In fact, my wife and I have this understanding that when

6:55 people confide in us, we don't just go sharing that information with each other unless that person approved that information being shared. Now, of course, if it's about Jess and I, if it's about specifically our marriage then of course we're going to share that. Of course, there's no secrets there. But this is really a high school mentality where people are saying "Well, if you tell me, you've already told my spouse." And that really isn't godly. And if you think that way, then what you should do is at least tell the person who's confiding in you, hey, just understand anything you tell me, I'm going, to, share, with, my, spouse., At least give them that warning so that they can decide whether they want to share it with you and their spouse or not share it with you at all. But if it's other people confiding in you, information that doesn't concern your spouse or your

7:40 marriage, then that's not something you should be sharing. That's what a gossip does. And what happens is if you know someone like that and even if they promise you, hey, I'm not telling them. If you know that they've shared other people's secrets with you, I guarantee you they are sharing your secrets with other people. And so this is why you have to find people who are trustworthy. You cannot confide in a gossip. So that's one aspect of gossip. This sharing of secrets. Proverbs 16:28 declares, "A troublemaker plants seeds of strife." Gossip separates the best of friends. Now, here gossip is being mentioned in the context of strife. That is this sharing of information that just degrades people, that tears down their reputation. And again, I'll say it. If they tear down other people in front of you, I promise you, they tear you down

8:27 in front of other people. Now again there are some balances here because it's one thing to vent. Let's say you get into an argument with someone and you want to get some perspective on that argument and you go and share someone and share with someone kind of what happened. Obviously, you're not giving all the details, but you say, "Hey, here was the disagreement. Here's what happened." And you're talking with that person about that third party, not to tear that person down, not to spread misinformation about them, not to try to get that other person to side with you against them. rather you're trying to process some things. I do this all the time. You know, I have staff here in the ministry and sometimes in working with staff members, I find that there are some challenges. So, I'll go to that staff member's manager and I'll have a conversation with the manager about that staff member, but we're not tearing the

9:13 person down, making fun of them speaking and belittling them in a way that is ungodly. What what we're doing is we're trying to solve a problem. So again, there are instances where there have to be conversations about other people, but you have to keep those godly or pastors who pastor churches. If someone falls into sin on their leadership team, they have to share that with certain key leaders in the church. And if that information gets around the church, that's not necessarily gossip. That's just something that happened that people found out about. And so perhaps the Holy Spirit is stirring something in your heart. that warning he's giving to you while this person's talking to you. You feel uncomfortable with that conversation. You feel like this. You're not just venting to try to solve a problem. You're not just talking about

9:58 someone literally to try to help them. You're you're you're you're sharing things with me because you want me to see them in a negative light so that I side with you. Or or you're sharing this with me so that you're in a way in a manipulative way building my trust while tearing someone else down. The Holy Spirit's not comfortable with that. And so, this is where you'll sense that need to separate. Number three, the negative. These are people who are perpetually offended. Nothing is ever good enough. If you go out and have a great day, they're going to point out that the weather was bad. If you go to a nice restaurant and have a good meal they're going to complain about how long you had to wait. If you go on a trip together, they're just going to be complaining about all the different ways it could have been better, all the things you could have done. If you make

10:45 an accomplishment, they're going to point out all the times that you failed. And so, these are people who just have this mindset where they're constantly complaining nothing is ever good enough. They see through the lens of the worst case scenario. Again, give people grace because some people have that natural inclination toward details and and by that I mean that they can see all the possibilities and maybe they might be expressing those and maybe they just kind of lean a little bit negative because of things that happened in their past. I don't know. So give people some grace. Everyone's going to have a little negativity from time to time or most people will. So I'm not saying at the first sign of any negativity you cut them off or if you get an argument with them you cut them off. We got to be gracious with people. But I am saying if you notice that this is a consistent pattern and that every time they come

11:30 around you go from faith to doubt. Every time they come around you go from expecting good things to anticipating bad things. If every time they come around you go from a good mood to a bad mood, something's wrong there. Now that'll happen from time to time in any connection, any friendship, any marriage, any relationship, you're going to run into those those troubles. But if this is just nonstop consistently, the issue, even after you've addressed it, and it's important too, you got to communicate. You've addressed it and said, "Hey, listen. You're very negative and and I don't like that that type of mindset. I don't want that to infect my mindset because negativity is infectious. And if after that they haven't even made an effort then you got to really rethink that relationship. Philippians 2:14 and 15 says this, "Do everything without

12:18 complaining and arguing so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people." So here we see that as you learn to not complain, you become like a bright light. Philippians 4:8 tells us how we ought to think. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right and pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Well, how are you supposed to do that if you're around people who do nothing but set your mind on things that are negative? You can sense that because there's that power struggle. The Holy Spirit in you saying, "Believe. Expect good things." and being around them just causes you to anticipate the absolute

13:05 worst. Have a conversation with them but ultimately obey the leading of the Holy Spirit. You do not need that in your life. You can cut that off. Now listen. If you think that the body of Christ needs to hear this teaching and you know that the truth of the scripture is going to liberate people and you want to help us share this message, then do me a simple favor. I need your help. Will you click the like on this video? Just that thumbs up button. By doing that, you're helping to spread this content to more people. It's really that simple. Take a split second of your time, leave a like, spreads it to more people. It helps even more if you leave a comment of any kind. And also, don't forget to subscribe to this channel. You want to continue to receive my teachings on the Holy Spirit, spiritual dynamics

13:51 prayer, spiritual warfare, faith miracles, all of those great topics, all of those teachings, then make sure you subscribe to my channel right now and click that notification bell when you subscribe so that you don't miss any of the content. Number four, the takers. Okay, this one, listen. Especially if you're compassionate especially if you have a generous nature, especially if you're empathetic you're going to be susceptible to people like this. You have to be careful that you're not just pouring into a friendship without them pouring anything back in. Now, I'm going to say something that some might not like, but you need to hear it anyway. There is no such thing as a 50/50 relationship.

14:37 Each side needs to give 100% as they're able. Having said that there will be no relationship where it is exactly equal. In any friendship marriage, parent relationship, child relationship, sibling relationship, it doesn't matter, you name it. In any relationship, there will always be just a little bit of offbalance. In other words, there'll be someone who initiates a little more, gives a little more, and then the other person doesn't necessarily do as much. Now, that's not right. But that's just the way it is. Why? Because you can't quantify these things. There's no way to I mean, unless you want to get really technical with it and write everything down on a piece of paper. Here's how much time I invested in you. Here's how much time I want you to invest in me. Here's how much money I gave you. Here's how much money I want

15:23 you to give me. Because it doesn't work that way because different people bring different things to the relationship. and and it's just not possible to track it in such a tedious and systematic way. So what are we left with? We're left with just recognizing that we ought to do our best to pour into people as they pour into us and keep no records after that. Having said that, you will notice that there are certain relationships where you rarely ever see them putting back in. where if you were to stop calling them, if you were to stop texting them, you'd never hear from them again. Or maybe you notice that they're constantly asking you for money. Hey, I need to borrow some cash. Maybe that's the only time they actually call you is

16:08 cuz they need money. Or maybe the only time that they call you is when they're feeling down and they need someone to talk to. So, they're using you as an emotional, crutch., Look,, we, ought to, be there for people. But some people want help. Others just want attention. and they mistake that attention for help. They think that by getting attention feeling better in that moment, that that is what's actually helping them. And they're unwilling to do the work and to apply the word in a way that will forever set them free from those emotional issues that cause them to have to lean on other people. And in that way, they're trying to get you to be a replacement for God in their life. And you become their idol. Except as an idol, you can't do for them everything they want, and you'll never meet their expectations. So what ends up happening is this. You pour in, you pour in, you

16:54 pour in. They never pour in themselves. In fact, in many instances, they'll make you feel guilty, feeling like you're not doing enough when you're already doing everything that you can. You're pouring and giving, investing time, trying to figure out how not to offend them, how to how not to upset them, how to make them feel valued, and you're just pouring out. And they're draining you financially. They're draining you emotionally. They're draining all of your time. And here's the thing, it'll never be enough. It's like pouring water into a cup that has no bottom. The water will just go right through. And then when they're unfulfilled, they'll turn around and blame you. Why? Because they've recognized that they can manipulate in that you in that way because they've taken advantage of your compassion.

17:41 They've taken advantage of your empathy. They've taken advantage of your kindness. Maybe someone did that to you. They came to you and they said, "Oh this past relationship was just so everyone always abandoned me, abandons me. Everyone always just they always misunderstand me." And it's true. It may be true. Maybe it is true that you're abandoned sometimes. Maybe it is true that you're misunderstood. But that's true of all of us. But then they use that they weaponize their pain against you to touch on your guilt to cause you to function in a way where you're straining yourself constantly while they just sit back and take all the benefits. And to keep you in that loop, they freak out when you challenge them on it. Galatians 6 2 and 3, share each other's burdens. And in this way, obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help

18:27 someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important. Share each other's burdens. The point is there has to be this intention of investment, this intention of trying to be that friend that you need. And if they're not doing that, if it's always take, take take never giving, never giving, never giving, the Holy Spirit is speaking of your value. You don't value yourself enough. And the Holy Spirit is convicting you concerning your identity. Think about how much the Holy Spirit loves you. Think about how valuable you are to God. Shouldn't others value you the same?

19:12 Think about it. Number five, the sinful. Now, I'm just going to come right out and say it here. If you're in a romantic relationship and you are not married boyfriend girlfriend fiance not married, there should be no sexual activity. That is sin. It is wrong. There's no excuse for it biblically speaking. And if you're claiming to be a Christian, hear me now. If you claim to be a Christian and you are intentionally living this lifestyle of sin then there's something very wrong there. Very wrong indeed. And if there's no conviction of the Holy Spirit, you need to check your heart. You need to check your heart because something has gone very wrong. So, so

19:59 those romantic relationships that pull you into sexual sin, sexual compromise and I'm not just talking about what we would all think is actual sexual sin. I'm talking about all of the ways in which you gratify your sexual nature in that relationship. There should be no hint of sexual immorality in a romantic relationship before marriage. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 says this. Run from sexual sin. No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself for God bought you with the high price. So

20:46 you must honor God with your body. Period. This is biblical guys. And so you have to ask yourself, does this person actually intend on marrying you or are they just pretending to be committed so they can get sexual gratification out of you? Because what needs to happen is there has to be this deep repentance. Either you need to draw a line and stop the sexual sin or you need to cut off that relationship. I'm serious. Now, now when you hear this, there's going to be this debate in your mind, this back and forth. Well, maybe, you know, if we just work through this or we make it to to marriage or m there's all these compromises you're going to be trying to allow yourself to make. There's all these negotiations we have with God. And here's the reality. If that's what you're doing internally right now

21:32 that's just proof to you that the Holy Spirit's already spoken to you. And so either you you cease the sexual sin and you both agree to that, draw that line and stop. or you have to cut that relationship off for the sake of your soul, for the sake of your future, for the sake of your destiny and God, you need to recalibrate immediately. And I'm not just talking about sexual sin. That's just probably the biggest one that people think of when I talk about sinful relationships. But, you know outside of romantic partners, people can influence you to sin in all sorts of different ways. They can they can influence you to live lifestyles of drunkenness. They can influence you to form an addiction or maybe they enable an addiction that you've already battled with. Doing drugs, smoking weed, all of these things that you know you ought not

22:17 to be doing. And so the people around you who downplay your sin, oh, it's not a big deal. Don't worry about that. It's okay. We have freedom in Christ. They excuse these things. These are the people you have to cut off. It's chaotic. There's always drama around them. Never peace. You never feel peace. That's the Holy Spirit warning you. Red flashing lights warning, warning warning. The Holy Spirit is speaking to you. Don't ignore him. 2 Corinthians 6:14 declares, "Don't team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?" This is not saying, "Don't have a conversation with unbelievers." How you how you ever supposed to share the gospel with someone if that's the case? Rather, what this is speaking of is that influence that someone has in

23:03 your life through a close connection that you've allowed them to have with you. If that is causing you to stumble if that is causing you to compromise. If that is causing you to take your eyes off the things of God, it's time to cut it off. Cut off those relationships that invite sin into your life. Father I pray that you would give your people discernment to see those relationships that need to go and the boldness to sever them immediately. Lord, I pray that you would help them to create healthy boundaries and distance where that is needed. And precious Holy Spirit, I pray that you would allow also your healing power to flow. I'm believing for that one now, asking for a healing in their body. They've

23:50 cried out to you, God, and you've heard their cry. Listen to me. He's heard your cry. So, Father, let that healing virtue begin to flow even now. Thank you that you are making all things new. You are restoring the body. And as that healing virtue flows, give them the faith to connect with that heavenly power in the mighty name of Jesus. Precious Holy Spirit, let your presence surround them in a way that they can feel right now. Some of you, as we're praying for healing, you're feeling like a heat on your body. Others are feeling like an electric sensation. Some may feel like a weight. There's different ways this power manifests. But just receive it. Don't be afraid. Just receive that now.

24:37 And Father, I come against every demonic attack. And I pray that addictions would be broken. Freedom in the mind. Someone watching me right now, your mind is being set free from torment. Every demonic mouth is being shut in the name of Jesus. I give you the praise and the glory and the honor. Type it in the comments section. If you believe it, type a big amen. Well, church, it's time that we step it up. The hour calls for bold Christians, and I need your help. We are laying down our lives for the gospel. I've been speaking to my team recently and I feel like the Holy Spirit has taken spiritual gasoline and poured it on the fire that's in my heart for

25:23 souls. Yes, of course I've had a passion for souls. Yes, of course I've had a passion to expand the kingdom. But just just in this last season, I felt like the Holy Spirit has poured like gasoline on the fire. And so now I'm saying to my team, we got to go. The harvest is ready. This is a historic opportunity right now. People listen, people are more open to the gospel now than ever before. I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it as I travel. I'm seeing it as I go to different churches. It's here. Revival is now. So, we have to now seize this opportunity. Nothing's more important. Please hear me. Nothing is more important. That that streaming platform that you pay for monthly, that's not more important. The gaming platform that you pay for monthly, that's not more important. the memberships, the entertainment, the movies, the going out

26:09 all the time. That's not more important than this cause. And so, I believe it's time we step it up. And I want you to join me in doing so. I need your help. If you want to help us go and win the soul of a generation because now is the time. This is the hour of great salvation. Then go right now to davidernnandasministries.com/partner. Listen, just go and open the page. go and look and see how your gift can actually make a difference. Your support helps our Holy Spirit school where I'm being told almost 50,000 students now at the Holy Spirit school which is just phenomenal. And then on top of that, our media reaches almost a million people a day. Think about that. Almost a million people a day. We are also now planting churches and we're doing more events

26:56 than ever before. It's time to get the harvest. So, all we need is the resources. That's all we need. And God wants to use you to bring that in. And as you do that, God will bless you. As you sow, you will reap. As you release because remember, there's that battle in all of us. The flesh versus the spirit. There's a battle in you right now. Part of you wanting to hang on. Maybe I'll save this for later. What if the economy does this? What if this stock does that? Listen, your faith is in God. So release it. Let that river of generosity flow. And as that river of generosity flows you will see the flourishing in your finances. I know it. I live by it. I practice it. My wife and I live by that belief that as we sow, we reap. So go to davidhernandezministries.com/partner.

27:42 Sign up for our automatic monthly giving plan. And as I said, you can go to the web page and you'll see how many people you can impact every month through your monthly gift. You can also give a single gift by going to davidernnesministries.com/donate. But whatever you do, single or monthly large or small, do your best. Sacrifice for the sake of the gospel. Growth is happening. I need your help to keep up with it. We don't want to miss the opportunity. Now, if you enjoyed this teaching, then you're going to love if you see these signs. They were sent by God. In that teaching, I show you signs that you should connect with people.