Brief Summary
This sermon explores the fifth commandment, "Honor your father and your mother," emphasizing its importance in worshiping God and living a purposeful life. It addresses why honoring parents is crucial, what it truly means, and how to do so even when it's difficult. The key points include:
- Honoring parents is a direct command from God.
- It trains us to honor God and is foundational to a stable society.
- It leads to blessings and has serious consequences when ignored.
- Honoring involves respect in speech, listening, gratitude, care, and responsibility.
- Forgiveness, enabled by Jesus, is essential when parents have caused hurt.
Opening
The sermon begins by acknowledging that many people have difficult relationships and memories with their parents. It highlights the importance of understanding the fifth commandment, which instructs us to honor our father and mother. The sermon aims to answer why God commands this, what it means to honor parents, and how to do so, especially when it is challenging.
1. Why Honor - God Commands It
The first reason to honor parents is that God commands it directly in Exodus 20:12. This command is not automatic and requires conscious effort. It is especially challenging when parents have been hurtful or negligent. Obeying this command is a direct act of obedience to God.
2. Why Honor - Trains Us To Honor God
Honoring parents trains us to honor God. Malachi highlights that a son honors his father, and if God is the ultimate Father, we should respect Him. Learning to honor earthly parents helps us understand how to honor our perfect heavenly Father. J.I. Packer suggests that understanding God as a father is crucial to understanding Christianity.
3. Why Honor - Foundational To Life and Society
Honoring parents is foundational to life and society. Francis Schaeffer warned that the crumbling of society begins when the distinction between truth and falsehood blurs, leading to broken families. Proverbs emphasizes observing the commandments of parents for guidance and protection. A lack of loving families can lead to dysfunction and crime. Romans 13 states that all authority comes from God, and we first learn about authority from our parents.
4. Why Honor - Leads to Blessing
Honoring parents leads to blessings. Exodus 20:12 and Ephesians 6 promise a long and good life to those who honor their parents. Ephesians 6:1-3 specifies that this commandment is the first with a promise, offering both length and quality of life. The speaker shares a personal story of obeying his parents' advice not to have a girlfriend in high school, which later led to a fulfilling relationship with his wife. Obedience brings blessing.
5. Why Honor - Dishonoring our parents is very serious
Dishonoring parents is very serious. Proverbs warns that those who mock their parents will face severe consequences. Deuteronomy describes the punishment for a stubborn and rebellious son, highlighting the gravity of disrespecting parents. The story of Noah and his son Ham illustrates that dishonoring parents has significant repercussions.
Testimony Sharer - Daryll Lumbis
Daryll shares her personal testimony about learning to obey and honor her parents. Despite strict rules during her teenage years, she grew in understanding through her faith and D-group. She realized her parents' rules were for her benefit. Even when she desired to work full-time in ministry, she obeyed her mother's request to work in a corporate job first, trusting God's plan. Eventually, she received her mother's blessing to pursue ministry full-time.
What does it mean to honor?
The Hebrew word for honor, "kabad," means to weigh heavily and to be of great value. To honor parents means to receive their words with seriousness and value. The only exception to obeying parents is when they ask you to do something against God's commands. Honoring involves treating parents with respect and courtesy, providing care, and seeking their interests.
Honor vs. Obedience
Obedience is for childhood, while honoring is for a lifetime. Children living with their parents should obey them, as obedience is how they learn to honor. However, even as adults, honoring parents remains essential, regardless of their imperfections, because God commands it.
Parents - Be Honorable
Parents should avoid provoking their children to anger through shouting, unreasonableness, or hypocrisy. Instead, they should bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Discipline involves consistent, clear rules and consistent love.
How do we provoke?
Provoking children includes shouting, having a temper, being unreasonable, not listening, being critical, being hypocritical, being selfish, being overcontrolling, not keeping your word, and having favorites.
How To Discipline?
Discipline involves having consistent, clear rules, consistent application of rules, and consistency in love.
1. What Honor Looks Like - Respect in Speech
Honoring parents includes showing respect in speech. It's easy to say disrespectful things, especially when irritated. Exodus 21 states that cursing parents is a serious offense. Ephesians advises using wholesome words that edify and give grace.
2. What Honor Looks Like - Listening and Learning
Honoring parents involves listening and learning from them, even when they repeat themselves or seem outdated. Proverbs encourages listening to your father and not despising your mother when she is old. A wise son accepts his father's discipline.
3. What Honor Looks Like - Gratitude and Value
Showing gratitude and valuing parents is a key aspect of honoring them. In the last days, people will be ungrateful. Being grateful and showing value to parents means a lot to them. The story of the "invisible mother" illustrates the importance of appreciating what parents do.
4. What Honor Looks Like - Care and Responsibility
Honoring parents means caring for them and taking responsibility for their well-being. Jesus quoted the Old Testament, emphasizing the importance of caring for parents and not using religious excuses to avoid this responsibility. Providing for one's household is essential. Truly caring involves helping parents grow in Christlikeness, even through reverse discipleship.
How Can I Honor? (Especially When Its Hard)
Honoring parents, especially when it's hard, doesn't mean pretending sin didn't happen or enabling wrongdoing. It means refusing hatred, choosing respect, and trusting justice to God through forgiveness. We need Jesus to change our hearts and enable us to honor our parents. Ezekiel reminds us that God gives us a new heart and spirit.
Closing
Jesus is the reason we can honor our parents. He is the ultimate example of submission and obedience to God. He honored his earthly mother even on the cross. If you're struggling to honor your parents, admit your need for Jesus and ask Him for a new heart.
Sunday Fast Track
This segment addresses questions about honoring parents.
Q1. How do we respectfully disagree with our parents?
It is not disrespectful to have a calm, honest disagreement with parents, especially when they are wrong. It's important not to react but to engage with them in love, helping them grow in Christlikeness. Speak the truth in love and appeal to them gently.
Q2. How do we honor parents who don't live with us?
Practical ways to honor parents who live overseas include regular communication through various apps, showing them they are important. When they come home, carve out time to spend extended days with them.
Q3. How do we honor parents who have deeply hurt us?
In situations where parents are absent, separated, or have caused deep hurt, model Christian behavior, love your broken family, and show honor through your words and actions. You may need to help financially while setting appropriate boundaries.
