Brief Summary
Stephanie Gray Connors shares her personal journey of faith, career, and finding love later in life. She discusses her early dedication to the pro-life movement, her struggles with singleness, and the importance of friendship and community. Stephanie emphasizes trusting in God's plan, even through unexpected and difficult times, and finding fulfillment in various vocations.
- Stephanie's background and dedication to the pro-life movement.
- Her struggles with singleness and finding love at 40.
- The importance of friendship, community, and trusting in God's plan.
- Insights on vocation, discernment, and the cultural landscape.
Intro
Lila Rose introduces Stephanie Gray Connors, a close friend and pro-life advocate, highlighting her work on topics like IVF, euthanasia, and assisted suicide. The episode focuses on Stephanie's journey of trusting God through both good and bad times, ultimately finding love at 40. Lila encourages viewers to subscribe to the show and leave reviews to help it reach a wider audience.
Stephanie’s background
Stephanie shares her background as a wife and mother with two children on earth and four in heaven, having married at 40. For 20 years, she worked full-time in the pro-life movement, inspired by Scott Klusendorf and mentored by Greg Cunningham. Stephanie has delivered over a thousand talks in various countries and engaged in numerous debates, emphasizing compassion and understanding towards those with differing views, particularly those who have had personal experiences with abortion.
Cozy Earth
Lila promotes Cozy Earth bed sheets, highlighting their silky, smooth, and breathable qualities made from viscous bamboo. She also mentions their comfortable robes and pajamas, offering a 40% discount with the code "lila" at checkout.
Career vs Family
Stephanie discusses her initial aspirations in college, starting in theater before transitioning to political science. She reflects on her passion for both performing arts and the pro-life movement, eventually finding a way to merge her interests into a full-time career as a speaker and educator. Stephanie shares a story about discovering a letter she wrote to Mother Teresa in high school, expressing her desire to be a speaker, which foreshadowed her future vocation.
Good Ranchers
Lila promotes Good Ranchers, emphasizing that they source 100% of their meat from American ranchers and farmers. She highlights the quality and careful packaging of their products, offering a $40 discount plus a free meat add-on for life with the code "Laya" at checkout.
Career vs Family Pt II
Lila and Stephanie discuss the complexities women face regarding vocation, marriage, and career, especially within conservative Christian circles. Stephanie reflects on her own journey, balancing her calling to the pro-life movement with her desire for marriage and family. She recalls praying and wrestling with God over her purpose and the challenges of combining marriage, ministry, and openness to life.
I would cry myself to sleep
Stephanie shares her struggles with feeling abandoned and resentful towards God for not providing a husband. She recounts watching movies about social reformers and feeling conflicted about balancing a cause with personal relationships, often crying herself to sleep. Stephanie emphasizes the importance of building intentional community and friendships to combat loneliness, highlighting her sisterhood with Lila and their friend Christina as a source of life and consolation.
EveryLife
Lila promotes EveryLife.com, a pro-life baby diaper and wipes company, emphasizing their clean and healthy products. She highlights the Changing Lives Club, which offers a 10% discount, a free tote bag, and a donation of diapers and wipes to a mother and baby in need. Lila also mentions EveryLife's new training pants and shampoo/baby wash/lotion package.
Friendship and the best moments in my life
Lila reflects on the importance of spiritual friendships, characterized by being fully known, seen, loved, and able to be transparent. She recalls a retreat with Stephanie and Christina as one of the best moments in her life, emphasizing the power of friendship and how rare it is to find true friends who connect on every level. Stephanie shares a memory of a time when she was heartbroken and her friends provided silent, supportive presence, which was deeply meaningful.
Common Needs
Stephanie connects the experience of sisterhood with a care home project in Washington that integrates elderly people and children. She emphasizes that everyone has common needs to be recognized, loved, and have someone to share life with. Stephanie notes that while she desired marriage, she realized that these needs could be fulfilled through friendships and community, particularly during her season of singleness.
Being loved vs being recognized
Lila and Stephanie discuss the difference between being loved and being recognized. Stephanie defines love as willing the other's good and bestowing compassion, while recognition involves being truly seen and known, with both good and bad aspects embraced. Lila adds that recognition involves delighting in the person's identity, including their weaknesses and strengths.
Singleness in 30s
Stephanie addresses the narrative that there is something wrong with those who are not married in their 20s, suggesting that it depends on God's calling for each individual. She reflects on her own journey, realizing that God was calling her to be fully his spouse during her single years. Stephanie shares stories of friends who found love later in life, emphasizing that God can fulfill desires in unexpected ways and timelines.
50 y/o who got married
Stephanie shares stories of individuals who found love later in life, including a friend who got engaged at 50 and another who married at 72. These stories illustrate that God can bring desires to fruition on unexpected timelines. Stephanie recalls being sorrowful about her singleness at times, which she now recognizes as turning marriage into an idol.
We idolize many things
Stephanie discusses the danger of turning things like marriage into idols, emphasizing that true fulfillment comes from prioritizing God. She reflects on how she turned marriage into an idol, and how it is important to work through that spiritually with God and spiritual advisors.
Mad at God
Stephanie recalls how Lila tried to set her up with her now-husband, Joe, in 2016, but she initially shut it down due to misinterpretations. Despite this, Lila persisted in believing they would be a good match. Stephanie admits that she got mad at God over the years, weeping about being single, while Lila kept reminding her about Joe.
Holy people get overlooked
Stephanie recounts how, after four years of no contact, Joe reached out to Lila, wondering if Stephanie was still single. She describes their first meeting and how she immediately knew Lila was right about them being a good match. Stephanie emphasizes Joe's virtuous character and how their relationship unfolded naturally. She also reflects on the power of God in orchestrating their meeting and marriage, despite numerous obstacles and impossibilities.
Would you go through it again?
Stephanie affirms that she would go through all the pain and loneliness again to wait for her husband, Joe. She recalls advice from a friend who also found love later in life, emphasizing the importance of waiting for the right person and not settling. Stephanie advises others to hold out for a relationship where they have peace and clarity, and where things unfold naturally.
Are women too picky?
Stephanie acknowledges the other school of thought that some women (and men) are too picky, and that each person has to wrestle with whether they are being too picky. She emphasizes the importance of discerning if something is holding them back from someone within God's will, and seeking wise counsel from godly friends and spiritual directors.
Stephanie’s book on IVF
Lila commends Stephanie's latest book on IVF, highlighting the need for understanding and speaking to reproductive technology issues. Stephanie explains that she wrote the book to address the lack of information and formation on IVF, and to provide a solid apologetic on the topic. She expresses hope that the pro-life movement will continue to grow and that future generations will inherit a better world. Stephanie encourages people to be ordered to life, whether through biological or spiritual parenthood.
