Brief Summary
This video explains how to deal with anxiety by understanding its root cause: the belief that certain outcomes are inherently good or bad. Noah Elkrief outlines three common types of anxiety: the anxiety of not getting what you want, the anxiety of losing something good, and the anxiety of something bad happening in the future. He argues that anxiety stems from our thoughts, not external circumstances, and that questioning our assumptions about what will make us happy is key to overcoming it.
- Anxiety is not inevitable and can be overcome by addressing its root cause.
- The primary cause of anxiety is the belief that certain outcomes are inherently good or bad for our happiness.
- Questioning these beliefs and recognizing that we don't know what will truly make us happy is essential for eliminating anxiety.
Introduction to Anxiety
The video addresses the common issue of anxiety, challenging the notion that it's an unavoidable part of life. It asserts that anxiety is not a necessary response to any situation and can be eliminated by understanding and addressing its underlying cause. The video promises to guide viewers through this process, emphasizing that the frequency, duration, or intensity of anxiety doesn't have to be a permanent fixture in their lives. The video will cover three specific types of anxiety, excluding social anxiety which will be covered in another video.
The Core Desire: Peace and Happiness
To address anxiety, it's crucial to identify what you want most in life. While many people list goals like success, wealth, or love, the underlying desire is actually to feel satisfied, content, peaceful, and happy. These external goals are simply means to achieve the ultimate goal of inner peace. The video challenges viewers to recognize that peace and happiness are the true desires, more so than any specific achievement. If forced to choose between achieving goals and being unhappy, or not achieving goals and being happy, most people would choose the latter. Recognizing this is crucial because it shifts focus from external achievements to internal well-being.
Anxiety of Not Getting What You Want
This section addresses the anxiety associated with not achieving desired goals. It explains that this anxiety arises from the belief that getting what you want is "best" for your life, leading to the fear of any other outcome. This belief is often unconscious. To combat this, the video advises questioning whether achieving a particular outcome is truly "best." It challenges the assumption that getting what you want will automatically lead to happiness, pointing out that you can't know the full effects of an outcome until you experience it. There may be unforeseen negative consequences, and achieving the goal may not eliminate underlying anxieties or insecurities. Recognizing that you don't know whether getting what you want is truly best eliminates the fear of not getting it.
Anxiety of Losing Something Good
The second type of anxiety discussed is the fear of losing something you believe is making you happy, such as a relationship. This anxiety stems from the belief that your happiness is dependent on external factors. To overcome this, you must recognize that your happiness is not created by what you have, and that losing it may not necessarily be worse for your life. The video uses the example of a girlfriend, arguing that if she truly created happiness, you would be happy in every moment of the relationship, which is rarely the case. Instead, relationships provide temporary distractions from negative thoughts or positive reinforcement, but don't eliminate underlying issues. Losing what you have may open doors to new experiences or force you to address your thoughts directly, leading to greater peace.
Anxiety of Something Bad Happening in the Future
This section tackles the anxiety of a negative event occurring in the future, such as losing a job. The video reiterates that the underlying concern is the fear of unhappiness. It uses a hypothetical scenario where getting fired leads to a better job to illustrate that the perception of an event as "bad" is dependent on the context and potential outcomes. The key is to question whether a specific outcome is inherently bad and to consider potential positive effects that could arise from it. Even seemingly negative events can lead to unexpected opportunities or personal growth. By acknowledging that you don't know all the effects of a future event, you can reduce the anxiety associated with it.
The Role of Thoughts in Anxiety
The video concludes by emphasizing that anxiety is not caused by external situations, but by our thoughts about those situations. The presence or absence of anxiety depends on our thoughts, not the facts themselves. The core thought that creates anxiety is the belief that one outcome is best and another is bad. To eliminate anxiety, one must honestly investigate and question these beliefs, recognizing that you don't know whether a particular outcome will ultimately lead to greater happiness. Addressing thoughts directly, rather than relying on external circumstances to dictate your happiness, is the path to freedom and peace.
