INDIRECT APPROACH WINS- EPISODE 13

0:01 We'd like to begin this episode with a disclaimer. The views presented in this particular episode are not prescriptive in any in nature. We endeavor to provide an unbiased commentary from the book The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. For those of us who believe in Jesus Christ like we do, we'd like to remind you that it is your duty to obey God's commands. It is your duty to pick from this episode the things that align biblically. The rest that do not, we just want you to be aware of how the seduction world is as presented by Robert Greene. Yes, Tessa. Niache. Yes, how are you? I am good. Wiki yako ulisema inaanza na Wednesday. Your week starts on Wednesday. Today. So, today is your first day of work. So,

0:46 because of um Easter coming up, >> Yeah. I have like 2 days of work. Tomorrow and Friday. I know Friday's a holiday. >> Oh, tomorrow only. It's one day then. Hey. When I grow up, I will look for a job like that. >> [laughter] >> Yeah. Ah, mimi nimekuwa poa. I've been uh okay. Uh not not not not not not much happening. But I've just been continuing with my study on intersexual dynamics. You know, I have now taken a keen interest on that one area. Because I thought that uh these things to do with relationships are just a one-off. Just something you come it's very few principles.

1:32 Uh but uh human beings are interesting. And when you take a keen interest on human beings, you will see even how they mate. You see, it's like so I told you it's like watching Nat Geo. The way you look at lions and this guy takes you through a story of lions and how they behave, how they hunt. So, that's in the in that same way have I taken a keen interest on intersexual dynamics. I had promised myself to never sit in front of a camera to talk about this particular topic. But uh I was learning a lot behind the tent. I think [clears throat] uh it's not common knowledge as I thought. Yeah, I thought it was common knowledge. But you know, there are two ways to learn things in this world.

2:18 One, through your experience, which is very painful. It is very painful to learn things through experience. Your own experience. Your own experience. The second one is through other people's experience. And what other or how other people have lived will really tell you yes, how things will turn out. Like if you want to know what will happen in the future, forget about magicians and fortune tellers. If you want to know what will happen in the future, read history. Read the past. The Bible says in Ecclesiastes, there is nothing new under the sun. And by the way, there is nothing new under the sun. >> [clears throat] >> Everything that is happening has happened in the past Wow. will happen in the future. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Nothing new.

3:04 So, you just learn to learn and uh take these things as they are. Especially intersexual dynamics, yeah. When you talk about intersexual dynamics and um how you like how you re-fight ama you equate it to Nat Geo, you remind me of the law of adaptation. Mhm. And how it is important as animals ama how animals learn to adapt and to just know that nature is cruel when they don't adapt. Like I remember the story I used to tell you about where ati the giraffes had uh short necks, but because there was starvation and they were competing for food with gi- uh gazelles, zebras, uko

3:53 chini, they had to now go for food yenye iko juu ya mti, you know? So, that's trying to watch out for chezea on the same level as as other animals, that's how they grew their their long necks. Okay. So, try to think of it in the world of intersexual dynamic or even in life in general. If you just stay there with the knowledge that you have and you're not open to learning how people behave, how um the world is, how nature is, you will be our uko chini and you will die of starvation and drought cuz you're competing with the same people rather than trying to level up and getting better at whatever you're doing. Yeah, and then again, you will not live in the

4:39 real world. I told you we there we have two kinds of people. There are those who live in the real world, uh those who have uh seen the world as it is. And there are those who live in the idealistic world. The idealistic world is the world as you would like it to be. Like for example, you would not like your best friend to stab you in the back. Who do Who do you think stabs people in the back? Oh, an enemy. >> Enemy or friends? Obviously, it's friends. >> It's friends. >> But in an in a ideal world, Yes, it's an enemy. You're a you're a hater. So [laughter] uh um so, you you have to understand that. That that is the ideal world. That is the the ideal world is the world as you would like it. And uh the problem is that this world is

5:26 not perfect. No human being is perfect. relationship, none of them is perfect. So, it is two imperfect people coming together to try and come up with something that is perfect. Now, here is a problem, trying to come up with something that is perfect. Because social media, Hollywood, the romantic novels, those things have sold us a narrative that there is a perfect world. And this is how the narrative goes. You find the the couple struggle to be to to become a couple where the man seems for this lady until she says yes, until she accepts him. When she accepts him, then they get

6:12 married and uh the program ends. They they go through so many obstacles because of their love. >> [laughter] >> So, it is their love that brings them together Us against the world. Us against the world. And then after that, now they get married and the movie ends there because if it was a storybook, they would live happily ever after. >> [laughter] >> That is when the chapter is starting. A wedding is not a marriage. Yes, that is where life now starts properly. Where you now see each other without the makeup, without everything. >> The masks fall. The masks fall off.

6:57 Everybody is in their natural habitat. Those kind of things. So, the story in uh social media in those the story in Hollywood and romantic novels ends at the introduction. Because I told you it is one thing to get a man, it is another to keep a man. It is another one thing to get a woman, it is another thing to keep a woman. And unaona the way the society now is turning >> [clears throat] >> to a time where commitment is becoming a thing that people are do not value. >> [clears throat] >> People do not value commitment nowadays and so, they would choose to go their own way.

7:42 So, you have to know that is the world. Now, after the soap opera, after the soap opera, now you get to the world. You discover that this person you thought was perfect is very imperfect, sometimes even more imperfect than you. And both of you have to work something out. Now, what we do in this podcast is to tell you how to work those things out. Because we are not telling people that if you follow the advice we are giving you, you are going to have a relationship that is devoid of conflict. Conflict is part of life and part of human living. >> And it will always be there. >> Yes. What we endeavor to do is to have people that will rise above that conflict and be able to work out something without the emotions, without the homicides, without those things. And by

8:29 the way, did you hear there is a twist to that story of this lady who was uh uh poured for acid. Yes, I had this story. >> twist. Yes. And uh I'm very It is very Sometimes when I look at this news, in as much as they have gotten the right culprit, it usually makes me see how men are uh disadvantaged. It is It is already a disadvantage to be born a man. Already a disadvantage. Number one, you're getting into the world that is not going to pamper you. From primary school, boy child is guilty until proven innocent. So, in primary school when they are playing with the little girls and uh there is some injuries or something,

9:15 it would be Yes, the boy child would be the first suspect. Then this boy child graduates to teenage where if they have an encounter with any girl and there is a fight, the man is vilified regardless of how the fight started. They get into campus, uh then in campus now when you become an adult, now it is an issue of jail or freedom. Because men are judged very harshly. Men are guilty until proven innocent. And this did not start uh like this. The intention of empowering the woman was not at the expense of the man. You know, that was not the intention. I I understand by the way if you read history that women were

10:02 were were oppressed. Women were so oppressed in the past. They couldn't do basic stuff that men would do. They were looked down as like no second class humans. But then they came the feminist movement where now the rights of the woman are being fought for. And at that time I think if I'm not wrong with my history it was about equal employment opportunities, rights to do these, to vote and all those things which was perfect. Because I think ladies should vote. I hear some who say no but I think ladies should should vote. And then now >> [clears throat] >> they moved it a notch higher. Where it became now a fight against the

10:48 man. Now we don't need men. Men are the ones who have ruined this society. I heard some feminists saying that men are the problem with the world. By the way do you know if all men were removed from the world the world would would would end in very few years. Come to think of it. If today all the men were removed from the face of the earth, the world would end in not less than 20 years. Yes. I'm saying 20 years if if the world ends and there is a 20 year old. No if the men are removed and there is a 20 year old girl. In 20 years she will be past all those things. Yeah. So you can't have a world without men. So now they came a notch higher.

11:36 And it it was birthed by some some person sometimes frustration. And you know it is men who who promoted feminist feminism. Do you know that? Who is the one who empowers feminism? Even to even now. It's men. Powerful men in powerful offices. Yes. And so when they do that now it becomes now the man versus the woman which is not supposed to be. It is supposed to be on a from a humanistic point of view men and women are equal. From a religious point of view men and women are equal in terms of value. But they're very different in terms of roles and in terms of responsibility and even their biological makeup. Very different. Because men can't give birth.

12:22 Women [snorts] can't There are some things men can't do that women can do very well. There are things women can do and men can't do. That doesn't Does that If that Does that make you feel inferior? >> [laughter] >> I don't know why people interpret it to mean that way. Yes because that is just stating a fact. This week someone asked me Yeah. if in another lifetime you were to choose whether to be born male or female would you still be born female? Mhm. What did you say? Is that even a question? >> [laughter] >> Of course you would choose that because that is the only thing you know. Like even myself >> But even if I look at the world and how the world treats male and female and all that don't think I would want to be a man. Yes. Women to some extent I'm not

13:10 saying there are those who do not suffer but women to some extent have an easier life. If you compare the boy child and the girl child women have an easier life. That's why it's a big deal in a relationship to tell a woman no. She's grown up hearing yeses and the only no she had was a job application which was neither here nor there. I don't care. You see. So when they when they come to the house that's why you find women the world of a woman is very different from the world of a man. Even based on how the law sees you. The law favors you first. You can stand with a man there and beat him. Not not slap him. Beat him.

13:56 And guys would just move and look at look at you. And they won't do anything. That man for being beaten by you will be vilified. Yes. He'll be laughed at. He'll be laughed at. He cannot even go to the cops because the cops will tell him to be a man. And so you see a woman never experiences that. You dare lay your hand on a woman in public and see you will die. That brings me to the question. Yes. Do you think that Okay there's this thing in psychology where Yeah. when you're used to being told you're mean you're mean you're mean you're cruel you're cruel you actually become mean and cruel because you feel like if this is the identity that has been put on me I might as well.

14:41 So do you think some men are so used to are so are are so used to being perceived as evil all that all those negative things that they actually now just become a menace? No I don't think that is the issue. I think the issue is the frustrations that men go through. Do you know I was reading some statistics and I don't know how true this is that 60% of men in the earth do not reproduce. 60? 60%. That it is only 40% of the world that actually reproduces. So in that 60% if that statistic is correct in that 60% there are those who

15:27 do not have women. There are those who can't get women. Do you know there are men who can't? They can't get women. So you can imagine that aggression that God has put in the man. You know man testosterone has a lot of aggression. That's why we are bigger all these things. So imagine a man who is sexually frustrated economically frustrated and they have no answers. Where do they turn to? Some of them and I'm not advocating for people to do this actually now use that aggression on the world. Yeah because you blame the world and you say it is a world. The world is the reason why I am like this. So you start hating the world. Others do that to women and all that. So it's a lot of frustration.

16:13 A lot of it. You know that's a true fact because I was into serial killer documentaries so much and one thing in common about most serial killers all of them were sexually frustrated. Yes. I tell All of them. I tell Steve that I asked Steve a question in this podcast. Why do you work? Why do you work hard? I asked him that. To earn a living. Why do you want to earn a living? To be fulfilled. Why do you want fulfillment? When you look at it from a biological standpoint it's a mating game. By the way there is a story that I once said in this podcast of the weaver bird.

16:58 The weaver The African weaver bird. You can go check it out. The African weaver bird is a yellow one. It is very yellow and then the female one the male African weaver bird is yellow. The female one is yellow with some greenish greenish. So this is what happens. >> [clears throat] >> The male weaver bird is the one that makes the nest. So it goes and starts and creates the nest a nest. So when it finishes creating the nest it goes up to that nest upside down or it it goes to the nest and it starts flapping its wings. So when it it flaps its wings the female weaver bird hears that and then comes to that nest. When the female weaver bird comes this is what she does. She starts to tear the nest apart. If the nest breaks she leaves and goes

17:44 to find another nest. If the nest is stable enough she stays in that nest and that's where she reproduces. Now for the male weaver bird if enough female weaver birds reject its nest it destroys it goes to another tree and begins the process again. It's a mating call. You see. If you look at us we we we work hard but at the end of the day is reproduction. I've I've told you that you can never bond with anything in this world even if it is a yacht. It doesn't matter how much money you can have. You can never bond with it if you're a man as well as you would bond with a woman. And if you're a woman you can never bond

18:29 with anything that has been created the same same level you can bond with a man. So it is that's that's the that's the issue. That's why 70% of the cases in prison are sexually related. Yes. Yes. Yes. 70% sexually related. Yeah because bonding and human beings mating the mating game is a very important game in the ecosystem. It's a very important game for the propagation of the world. So we might as well sit down and teach ourselves this game. And learn. >> [laughter] >> And learn. We might as well learn. And that is why we are here. >> By the way it will break no bone to learn. You see. You'd rather learn and it is nonsense.

19:14 >> [laughter] >> I read some things that I consider nonsense personally. I read things and after I'm done I'm like I can't believe this nonsense. >> [laughter] >> What did I just read? What did I just read? You see. But at least I know that nonsense rather than there is some nonsense there worth knowing and I have not known it because I don't want to read. And human beings play games Tessa. I told you we have masks. We have masks. Everyone puts on a mask. Our demeanors are all cultured to environment. And it is what is acceptable. This kind of clothing is acceptable in our environment. There are some places maybe you want to want to beg her to know my boxer. And it is acceptable. So,

20:01 uh that's where the morals people judge it based on how acceptability. Yeah. Funny thing, you've said something. Mhm. Intersexual dynamics is a game. Yeah. If you say at it, "Oh, me, I don't want to play games." you're going to be played. Yes. You better enter and play. You're either the seduc- You seduce or they seduce you. Yes, and we we remind to remind you that it is women who created seduction. [clears throat] And the reason why they created seduction or they came up with seduction is because, like I said, they were very oppressed by men and men were stronger. And so, they wanted to conquer these strong men. >> [laughter] >> And how well did they conquer these strong men than inventing seduction? That's the reason why we are suffering.

20:48 >> [laughter] >> Yes. Okay, we can get into creating a false sense of security. Yes, approaching indirectly. >> Indirectly. Yes. So, if you're too direct early on, you risk starting up a resistance that will never be lowered. So, at first there must there must be nothing of the seducer in your manner of fake seducer. Mhm. The seduction should begin at an angle, mhm, indirectly. Mhm. So, that the target not only gradually becomes aware of you. Mhm. Mhm. So, that the target only gradually becomes aware of you. Mhm. So, hence is the

21:35 periphery of every target's life. Approach through a third party or seem to cultivate a relatively neutral relationship. Bestie, bestie. Moving gradually from friends to lover. Mhm. In the technique of bestie, bestie. Yeah. Technique of bestie. >> [laughter] [gasps] >> Okay, so arrange an occasional chance encounter as if you and your target you and your target were destined to become acquainted. Nothing is more seductive than a sense of destiny. So, lure the target into feeling secure,

22:23 then strike. Yes, like we're trying to tell people, on paper, these things look like uh games the the games people play. Mhm. But you There is a book I read that was saying, "No general wants to attack a city that announces his desire to attack the city." So, no general wants to attack the enemy, yeah? Mhm. A citadel. Mhm. And then comes announcing, "I will attack the citadel. I will attack the citadel." Mhm. >> [clears throat] >> They they don't they come when you least expect it. So, is seduction because human beings are naturally drawn to things that are evil. We are naturally Yes, we are naturally drawn to evil. That's the Bible. >> [laughter] >> The heart of man desperately wicked. The

23:10 Bible says that. The Bible says that all men have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Yes. It says there is none who is righteous, no, not one. So, if you take a biblical standpoint, you realize that human beings approach each other with suspicion. The first step is usually with suspicion. That's how you walk into a guy regardless of how good-looking the guy is, you'll first treat them with suspicion. That's where the mystery starts of I'm trying to figure this person out. Yeah. Because in your own head, he is not a good person. You know how people convince you they are good? They do some good stuff or they they show you some good signs and then now you conclude by yourself that they are good. They could be a serial killer. But because you have passed them, once you have removed that wall that they are

23:55 good, Yeah. then now interaction starts. So, you can imagine approaching someone or someone approaching you and just telling you I want to date you. >> [laughter] >> Uh it's a bit weird. >> Yeah. Isn't it? Yeah. It's creepy. Very creepy. >> Yes. Yeah. Regardless of how good-looking the person is, you would uh Red flag. So, seduction is a game of indiscretion. You don't announce. And so, Uh don't announce your intentions or you suggest them. Like you remember the tactic in seduction is suggestion. Suggestion. It's not the outright uh blabbering of what you want to do. You might be interested in something. Mhm. And ladies know how to do this very well. Yeah. You know a lady will never tell you to your face that I am

24:41 attracted to you. They would never. Mhm. Do not expect it. They'll just show you. Why why don't you ever tell people when you're You imagine you've met someone and when I say who is talking and then >> [laughter] >> and you actually What did you do? Uh I feel it's the whole game of you have you are you are the one to be pursued. So, you you want them to show interest. So, if they never show interest, would you ever approach them yourself? And you are really interested in them. What would you do in that situation? Maybe passively show them that the door is open for you to like pursue

25:26 me. And And you you you doubt when I say women communicate indirectly from [laughter] the word go. So, you gotten this lady. I've told you like you've told me you would never really tell a man you are interested in that I am outrightly interested in you, isn't it? So, what you would do, you would show him signs and symbols that you are interested. Yes, [clears throat] and you can actually now pursue. If he does not read those signs, you get disappointed. >> Yeah, it will end like that. Yes, it will end like that. You will get disappointed. You take your L, isn't it? So, when you get to a relationship, can you tell me why are you expecting her to to speak directly? She will never. >> [laughter] >> She will never be very will be direct to you because from the word go, she was

26:14 never direct. So, one thing you need to understand is the indirectness. Once you read the indirectness of how women are or how women behave, then you'll be able to read those messages and sometimes decode. And I'm not saying you'll get everything right every time, but patterns. We are creatures of pattern again and habit. Let me ask you a question. Yes. If you find a direct woman Yes. who is not afraid of saying, "Oh, I am attracted to you and I want to get to know you better." Will that be a turn on or a turn off? [clears throat] For a man, it would be a weird feeling. Not a Not a turn on or a turn on or off, but a weird feeling. Because again, it is unlike us I've told you we are

27:00 creatures of a habit and pattern. Men have not been approached from their infancy. When they are getting even to their adult, they will never see It's very rare to find a woman approaching you. Again, the value in ages is very different. A 20-year-old woman and a 20-year-old man are very different in value. Do you know that? A 20-year-old woman has everything, her sexual agency. She is peaking Mhm. uh attractively. So, she's at her peak. This guy is at his lowest. We are at rock bottom. This This guy, 20-year-old man and 20-year-old woman, do you know that to this check it to this woman, >> [laughter] >> this man is invisible? He does not exist. And she might decide to play with him

27:45 so that she cannot be lonely when this other guy that she is attracted to is away. And they will be playing house. But there is this other person. So, their value the the sexual market in the sexual market value, men and women go this way. Yeah. So, as a man becomes or grows older, he increases his value. Why? Because one of the things that that lifts uh the value of a man is uh finances, resources. You see, when a man has resources, he is considered very valuable regardless of how he looks. And he will not struggle, by the way, in the dating market. He won't struggle. He may find many gold diggers who will come

28:30 to use him for money, but either way, he will not struggle with having women around him. So, that's that's the difference. You see? That's the difference. Okay. Uh-huh. So, the principle here is power is never taken head-on. It's it is slipped in quietly, unnoticed, until it's too late to resist. Mhm. Most men lose before they even begin. >> [laughter] [gasps] >> Not because they lack desire, but because they reveal too quickly. Mhm. Too directly and too honestly. And in doing so, they trigger defense.

29:17 This is where the game ends for them. Crazy. Yes, it power is never taken head-on. I told you and I continue to say money, power, and relationships have the same principle. Number one, do not chase. Mhm. Chase after money, the assumption it is running away from you. Chase after power, it will run away from you. If people perceive you from the word go as power hungry, I promise you you're not getting that power. Even in your in elections general too. But I'm talking about elections let's say it's a society, a church, people who are gathered together. The one that is the most power hungry

30:02 and announces it will never get to power. As a matter of fact, he says here that they trigger a defense. Whenever you announce your intentions too early you trigger that defense. That is what you're dealing with now. Now you find a defensive woman. And that's why you see in movies pick up artist usually work. Pick up artist tree usually works in movies. But in real life it's very awkward. Imagine somebody just appears next to you with my lines and he's he's he's reciting a poem. >> [laughter] >> Would you get fascinated about the poem or poem or what? Depends. But would it look like something

30:48 rehearsed? Entertain me. Entertainment. [laughter] You see, even you are acknowledging that. This is something uh rehearsed. You see? But >> [laughter] >> when you announce it when you come indirectly, it is more powerful. When someone comes indirectly. So imagine that person who's approached you and told you their intentions immediately with those my lines and everything and then there's another one who just came and sat next to you. And then started asking you about your day. If you're having a bad one depending on how they find you. And then your communication with them starts to flow naturally. If it flows naturally, seduction has started. It has.

31:34 And just by that conversation, you'll find there are very many people who say that we it was at this moment that I knew that [laughter] this is my my wife and this is my husband to be or my boyfriend and girlfriend. Yes. Women, I feel like for women ours is when you ask the question what are we? Yes. This is the same as that. Yes, when you ask when a lady by the way asks you this question, it is a very good question. You're in a good place as a man. Really? >> If the lady gets to that point of asking you what are we, who are we? No. >> Can we put a name tag? What is the name tag? No no no no no. When they ask it >> telling you that she's inside. No. Anakwambia ako ndani. And then >> [laughter] >> it is either weird or she is inside.

32:22 If you're not inside wewe if as the guy you're not in, itakuwa weird. No, you see but it is when when she starts that's why she's asking. That's why she's asking because women communicate indirectly. Like I'm I'm you're seriously giving me points to continue strengthening my point of women speaks in the speaking directly. So they want to throw that ball in your court so that you'll be the one who will put a tag. Who are we? >> [laughter] >> Well gentlemen, if you hear a lady asking you who are we or what are we, she's very much attracted to you. She is very very much attracted and uh she can't wait until you put a tag on it. Me, I would tell women not to ask the question. >> They will ask. Because in a give

33:08 approach indirectly, like it's against that especially if you've known each other for like a short a really short time you trigger a defense and this guy out of experience when you ask what are we very early on ndio utakuwa blocked. Ndio utakuwa avoided. >> actually I'm actually saying you see uh you are assuming that men fall in love the same way as women. For real. You're assuming that they these people you see how you're you're looking at it like a woman and somebody is approaching you. Now ask me how men fall in love. >> How do men fall >> With what they see. >> [laughter] >> They don't care about anything. They don't care. I've no Tessa, no man walks into a restaurant.

33:55 No man. And if there is one, please let me know you you you exist. Check it. No man walks into a restaurant sits opposite a very pretty lady and starts ask wondering I wonder what is her level of education. >> [laughter] >> I wonder if she's No. Men are just I'm interested. Like they don't really So I told you there is an there was an experiment that was done. Just a it was a social experiment where let's say the way you are so on a Saturday evening when you're free nini nini, you're not dressed up for corporate world a photo of you is taken and then the day you are in corporate regalia like a corporate CEO then a

34:41 photo is taken of another woman. A corporate woman and a woman amekuwa tu relaxed. And uh they took to the streets to find the attractive level attraction levels. They were both pretty women. Uh they came back the same. They came back the same. Men don't care. That's why I tell these people who think that uh I am a strong woman I'm a strong independent woman because I have this and this. Yes, those ones give you independence, financial independence, they give you resources. I'm not saying those are a that is a bad thing. But that is not a marker for attraction in the sexual market value. Tessa, you don't become more attractive if you are richer. Uh you don't become more attractive to

35:27 men by the size of your pocket because men don't fall in love with what you have. Women because of survival resources is a factor. For men because they are the providers, resources is not a factor. No, for men because they are the providers, resources is a factor. For women because they are coming to seek their security and protection, the resources of the man is important. Isn't it? So men don't and I see this a lot in America with the black community. I I have seen seen it uh in in podcasts and all these things where ladies think that they are valuable because I am a CEO. As a corporate CEO who is pretty will compete with a a uh

36:14 first year. Mhm. First year will compete in the same situation. [laughter] Like they have this they they they they will not they will not be looked at as different. >> [laughter] >> Crazy. Yes. First year I was just chilling. Yes, I'm saying. So that that is to tell you that that is to tell you that uh women's value is not resources. It's not financial in nature. Women's value is femininity and their sexuality. And uh their purity. A masculine man. Uh and their purity. Yes, even to the society in general. Where uh that's why you find ladies find the question of body count very weird.

37:00 When you're asking that question, they will never tell you the truth. But uh because women are looked at in their value in terms of purity. And uh in terms of their femininity and their their natural appearance, their beauty. Men, there is no beautiful man. >> [clears throat] >> Even if you're a beautiful man, you will struggle if you don't have a hustle. You struggle because look, men are value objects. Women are beauty objects. If I may put it like that. Men are regarded as men based on their value. And part of that value is resources. Their masculinity and all that. Women

37:45 are looked at as value valuable based on first of all their prettiness. That is that is hallmark number one that men look at. How pretty a lady is. He he may date you and not even know you graduated campus. And not even care. And never even ask. >> [laughter] >> You see? But for you if you meet with a man, you will want to know what he does. That's actually like the first question you ask. Yes, see I tell people when you go to your girlfriends and you tell tell them I have a new man. I have I met a guy. What does he do? What does he do [laughter] is the question you will get, isn't it? If men came to men and told nimepata kamrembo or I found a lady men will want to see a picture.

38:32 Immediately. Am I lying gentlemen? You just want to If if if a man comes to you or your friend comes to you and tells you I I met a girl, what would you want to know first about the guy? Yeah, let's see show me the picture. >> [laughter] >> Uh because how that is how men men value women. Yes. Oh, I did not finish the name. But but it's okay. Okay. Can I just go to why? Yeah. Okay. So this is why directness fail. Because most men think honesty equals strength. It doesn't. Not in the seduction world. Directness removes mystery. It removes tension.

39:19 It exposes your desire because it has had because it has had time to grow inside the other person. It's like showing your cards before the game even begins. And worse, it puts pressure on the other person to respond. Pressure kills attraction because attraction thrives in freedom, not obligation. >> Yes, honesty is not equal honesty may be strength in another setup. But here we are very specific to the intersexual dynamics. Honesty is not strength. Robert Green says in the book 48 Laws of Power conceal your intentions. Don't don't just come and say you've seen a beautiful lady and you want her

40:05 to be your girlfriend. You want to start a relationship with her. It is not wise to reveal that at start. Because like I've told you seduction is in suggestion. And slowly by slowly you break those walls. That is when you have that lady. So if you do it at from the word go, it will not be strength. Directness removes mystery. I told you women don't fall in love with you. They fall in love with the version of you they have put in their heads. >> of you. The idea of you. Yes. It's like a man is in the book Gerald wrote the wall speaks. It's like a man is hiding behind a wall. Then the woman sees this wall but is interested in the man behind the wall. So she tries to climb the wall to find

40:51 out who is this guy because that wall is giving her a lot of support, comfort, a lot of protection. But she is in a quest to figure out this man. Now if she ever figures out this man the the game ends. Because now Kenodia is born. That is where that's the birth of Kenodia. >> [laughter] >> But now the the work of the man is to make sure that this woman while she is clinging to this wall does not really discover who this man is. We all we all are in awe of mysterious creatures. That's why when we were studying in school Luanda Magere Maji Maji rebellion and all those things. When we [clears throat] study these figures that's why superheroes Hercules

41:38 the Hulk is the way he is because of his You see a Hulk come out someone that you cannot even desire. Isn't it? But now when he is the Hulk is is the man. Now the woman tries to figure this person out. Yeah. Mystery can happen even in marriage. Mystery can happen in marriage. Because there are some men who are an open book in seduction and keeping attraction and open book is often discarded. Because once we women continue to fall in love I've told you they fall in love with their own idea of who you are. So what makes them stay there is the natural highs and lows throwing them

42:23 this side and this side. It's like peeling an onion. You see? A relationship should be like that. It's like peeling an onion. The more you get to know me the more I will reveal in bits as you get to know me. So you're always intrigued by the by the version of the person you always discover. Every time you peel It's different. It's a different person who is doing those things. And it doesn't have to be an act. It just have to be something that you understand what being a man is. And I think it applies on both genders for this one. I feel like as a woman in an intersexual relationship or dynamic, it's also important to have that mystery. Yes. Cuz I feel like men

43:08 enjoy like to to discover stuff, to know stuff. So you also being mysterious and like having some sort of mystery around you is very also important. Yes, the more the lady hungers to know the man she is dating the more in love she falls with him. Because that sudden hunger creates that desire to know him more. And this is roller coasters. When I'm saying the more she discovers, this is in the highs and the lows. The happiness and the disappointments. Because even in disappoint disappointing times women also fall in love. They are their

43:54 emotional high is still there even in disappointment. >> [laughter] >> So a woman can be disappointed with you and grow more in love with you even in that disappointment. Yes, because for you it is that roller coaster of emotion. And men can be able to That's why we say I have seen people say and I've read in some some books that you can do anything you want with a woman but don't bore her. >> [laughter] >> Boredom is the enemy of any relationship. Where and what brings about boredom? Routine. And I'm not talking about the plastic going out for dinners and all that. No, just the man inventing himself every time. I'm a very different man from who I was

44:39 3 years ago. And I endeavor to after some period of time to change. Robert Green talks about appear the appearance of formlessness. Like being fluid like what being like water where you can take any shape. >> Any shape and form. >> If a man can adjust to anything then there is nothing in this world that can conquer him. Yes. So the power of indirect approach. So we've seen why directness fail. Now we want to see the power that indirectness has. So indirect approach is not weakness, it's control. You enter someone's world without disrupting it. You don't announce your

45:25 intentions. You let them discover them. So you start with a neutral interaction. Then you build emotional comfort. And with that you now establish a presence without demand. You become familiar, predictable and safe. And that safety becomes your doorway. And when the guard drops, influence begins. So it arrives quietly and takes hold before anyone notices. I usually tell men >> [clears throat] >> that this is a husband or a boyfriend that if you have to remind your girlfriend that you or your wife that you know I am your your husband [clears throat] or you know I am your boyfriend then

46:11 there is some level of failure there. >> [laughter] >> And women are lying. The greatest power Tessa you have over anyone is the power to influence them. When you influence people they do what you want willingly. And most of the time they believe that they are the ones who want it. Making the decision. >> You you make influence is making people want your wants. And want them in the same way. That's what influence is. And influence is where you tell guys I want us to go north. North is the right way. And they say yes, north is the right way. First you agree with the north. And then they follow. That's what influence is. Otherwise it's power without anything. If you are a CEO, if people obey you because you are the CEO

46:57 you know there is people obeying you because you are the CEO and there's people obeying you because you are a leader. There are people following you because you are a leader and there are people following you because you have a position. Which one would you like? So influence is the is the strongest thing you have on over any other human being. Now when you are approaching this woman, what I what do you want to do with her? You influence her. Because I said a woman joins in a man's purpose, in a man's cause. In a as the man is conquering the world, the woman joins and becomes a supportive help. In this man conquering and in the process of supporting him she gives him children who will continue this legacy. If he gets men he will give birth to they will give birth to other warriors who will continue that lineage. That's why

47:44 genealogy is measured in the man from the man's side. You see? So women even even in our own cultures where the woman is taking the last name of the man name of the man. That means that a woman is joining the man. So relationships are at power when the woman is joining the man. And like I like to say if anyone interprets this to mean that women are are inferior do not know the roles of men and women. Women play a very supportive role. By the way, if you have a woman who's cheering you the right way, feminine submissive cheering you on, men do exploits when they have such women. They go very far. When they have women who are cheering them Anything with two heads is a monster Tessa. Anything with two heads.

48:30 There is no I don't know of any organism or any animal that has two heads and is functioning like that. There must be only one head. And that's where the brain is where every other thing where signals start. You see? Can a head have two necks? No. >> [laughter] >> Whatever you're trying to ask I refuse to answer. I can neither confirm nor deny. Whatever you're trying to ask [laughter] Yes, fiction has never created anything like that. [laughter] Kichwani moja shingo ni moja. >> [laughter] >> Crazy. Okay so

49:17 how do we now approach indirectly? So indirect approach is a skill. It's not a guess. You it follows a structure. So the structure is you enter without an agenda. So you don't approach with pressure. You enter the interaction as if the outcome doesn't matter. You're just calm, observant, you are uninvested. You know you're any friend too. Mhm. Friend too. There is a There is a There is a question here asked by skilled man which is very important and I wish to respond to. Yes. >> [clears throat] >> So, the man should not be an open book. What if the woman is an open book? Is that attraction to the man?

50:02 Good question. >> If the woman is an open book, she is in She is so attracted to that man. Because she has broken a wall, a very serious wall. That's the openness, isn't it? Because initially when people are are approaching each other, there is suspicion, there are walls. So, slowly by slowly you begin by name when you are getting to know each other. Pole pole, you don't start with where you live. >> [laughter] >> You might be talking to a murderer. You don't start with So, you You tell them slowly. You don't start telling them things that are personal to you. >> Yeah. But a time comes when she's comfortable. When do you tell people your secrets? Or who do you tell your secrets? Your closest friend. >> Your closest friends. Why your closest

50:48 friends? Cuz you trust them and and that. >> You are You trust them and you're also comfortable around them hearing nasty stuff about you. You don't feel like these people are people who can judge me. Now, for you to get there, you cannot get there on the first date. If you get there on the first date, both of you are weird. >> [laughter] >> Then you red flag. >> No, you are walking red flags, both of you. You are red flag. You are too dangerous for each other. You see? But when when the walls on of of of a woman are broken, she opens up a lot. Even those who hit on her. She tells you. By the way, let me tell you this. When a woman is hit on, it depends also

51:34 on who is hitting on her. There are some men who will hit on you, Tessa, you will never tell your boyfriend. Especially the ones that when I say my who you are going to a chance. >> [laughter] >> So, those pictures you are being shown are those ones that she has rejected. >> [laughter] >> What she is showing you is a list of the people she has rejected. If she has rejected the man, she's very comfortable telling you that me who I am going to and I see him talking. But if the man is a 60 is killed or can be or cannot. >> [laughter] >> Can be or should be. She will not tell you. Isn't it? Am I lying or am I speaking the truth? >> You are actually saying the truth. Yes. So, my friend, that's why I'm telling you don't be too trusting.

52:20 You There are men who go everywhere telling them, "You know me, my lady." Even after I am going to Even if someone wants wants her, she will tell me. No, she's telling you those that she's not interested in. The ones she is interested in, you will never know, my friend. You will never know. Imagine two friends, two gentlemen, and you are the girlfriend to one. If you like the best friend and or the best friend you like him and he hits on you, would you tell your your man? You wouldn't. The only time they will tell you is if they don't like him. Oh, yeah. If they don't like him, they will tell tell them. If they do, they will keep their their options open. >> [laughter]

53:05 >> That is the nature of the lady. And you should never get angry about that. That's her nature. >> [laughter] >> And what if she pulls back? There [clears throat] are times when when a lady pulls It depends with where you are you guys in a relationship. It depends with how strong how how long you have been in a relationship. Because there is a way to respond to pull back. If you If a lady pulls back and you're just beginning your relationship, and as a gentleman you pull back as well, you will not the relationship ends. You have not really locked her in. But if you

53:51 have been in a relationship and she pulls back, don't follow. Don't chase. Yeah, if you already have been together for a while and she pulls back, don't. Even women don't know how to handle when a man when she pulls back and the man comes towards him towards her. She actually despises the man. Really? >> Yes. She despises him. She tells herself that I knew you cannot leave me. Yeah, and it's exciting. It's exciting to you, not to the relationship. >> [laughter] >> It is exciting to you because it builds your ego. It shows you how important you are, but it kills that relationship because you know what? Whatever you can get away with, you will do.

54:37 If you are working in the bank and you can get away with stealing money, you will steal. Sometimes we are as we are as honest as the amount of things we can get away with. But if people would be able to get away with stuff, they would do it. Yeah. So, if if she she pulls back, don't. Don't chase. Depending on where your relationship is. I was having a conversation with a friend today and I don't even remember what the conversation was that drove us to a statement she said that when she says at the I feel like we need I I need a break. Like let me be. I need to like get away from this. Then you say okay, that's a crime. Like

55:24 you're not supposed to agree to like pull back. So, that's why I kind of feel like sometimes you may say I may pull back for you to come over for you to chase. Then when you say they shouldn't chase, now I'm just like You You see, >> [clears throat] >> there is a pulling back that is childish total. It's childish play. There is a egotistical pull pulling back. >> Okay, I see what you're saying. But there is another pulling back especially men should Men should only pull back from a woman they are in a relationship with when she misbehaves. When she misbehaves, the right response is to pull back. Because whatever you tolerate, you

56:09 propagate. And whatever you tolerate will be done to you will will happen again. I'm sorry, but it will happen again. I'm sorry, but it will happen again. You see? So, if you tolerate it, if you tolerate it, you propagate it. If you tolerate disrespect today for the sake of peace as a man, don't think that it is going to go away. It is coming back. Times two. Yes, it is coming back because women have a habit of pushing men's boundaries. It is a way to test the fortitude, the walls of the relationship, how strong they are. So, if a woman can push your boundary, she will push it until

56:55 the relationship is done. She will push it until the relationship is done. I have talked to men whose women come back to the house at 1:00 a.m. from a drunken spree. As a gentleman, you should never allow that in your house. You should never allow that because it will go further. And you know it doesn't start with coming back at 1:00 a.m. It starts slowly. It starts with the small things in the house. It starts with the small arguments where you shout at your man and he takes it in and he decides to keep quiet because of peace. The next time you will continue. The next time you will continue until it will get to that point. And I have talked to people, by the way, who it has gotten there. There is another one who was telling me that the

57:42 wife goes for sleepovers and she does not even tell him. He can wake up at 8:00 a.m. and the wife is coming in. In my house? I can't imagine. Because you see, if you allow that, it will happen. And where do you think she's coming from at 1:00 a.m.? Where do you think she's coming from? What you do as a man is you stop it immediately. You stop it immediately. The boundaries has to be there. That is not slavery. It's just boundaries. Like if you say don't come to my house after 9:00. Don't. I don't want to you to come after 9:00. First of all, I'm a bit responsible for

58:27 your well-being. That's why I'm the one who asked your parents. I'm a bit responsible so they take they consider me responsible for you. That's why if anything happens to you, they will come to me and ask me. That's why if anything happens to you, I'm the first suspect. Because I am your protector, isn't it? And you know society accepts that. But when it comes to submission and She's coming from Kenya. >> [laughter] >> Do you know, guys? Let me tell you Let me tell you, my friend. >> [laughter] >> Kenya is okay. >> [gasps] >> If If If If or if she owns the house. If

59:12 she owns the house now, that's why again as a man, it would be a little bit 60/40 if you live in a woman's house which she owns. Because leadership has Leadership comes with power and resources. You see? That's why you see even a billionaire woman, a woman who is a billionaire will look for a multi-billionaire. You know that? She hypergamy still happens even at billions. She will still look for someone because attraction is dependent on value I place on you. And if I respect you, I am attracted to you. The more I respect you, uh the more I am I stay attracted >> attracted to you. Yeah.

59:58 Um it is uh It is It is By the way, if you are dating a rich woman, um I'm not saying that you can A man can't date a woman who's richer than her. But is he prepared for the struggles that he's going to face? Because love, the feeling in and of itself, is not enough in a to keep a relationship going. Respect keeps the relationship >> going. By the way, do you know the world is not at peace because people love peace? No. The world is not at peace because of people people love peace. The world is at peace because of fear of retaliation. We cannot attack Uganda because you know if you attack Uganda, they'll attack us back.

1:00:43 We can't attack another nation. That's why the world is at peace. So, even in that relationship, a relationship is at peace. And and you And what do you think uh Kenya and and Uganda share? Respect. They They coexist mutually. If you are in a relationship with your woman and she does not respect you, she cannot love you. She will uh you will take in a lot. Now, imagine she doesn't respect you because she's richer than you and the provider of that home. What will stop What will make that woman listen to you? How will you get the voice to tell her that? How will you get the voice to show direction? Even in the world,

1:01:30 people assume that the president is the ultimate authority. There are rich people behind him. So, you come and discover that resources are a very important thing. And I know there are men who find themselves in this situation. You need to be twice the man. And she needs to You need to be very strong on influence or the influence you have on that woman. Do you think a woman can respect you even if she earns more? If she earns more, if you are because I told you women date across. Across, it is people who they are she considers equal in the social financial setup. And up, the people she considers above her. So, a lady wouldn't have a problem

1:02:16 even submitting across. No, like I have friends who the woman is very very well off and the guy is not, but she the woman doesn't have a problem and she respects the guy. It's the guy now who feels intimidated. Yes. Yes, I understand the guy will feel intimidated because again, biologically, we are hardwired to provide. And one of the provisions is resources. But for the woman who is rich to submit to a man who is uh not equal to her or below her financially, it takes a woman who is Now Now, that is that is a submissive woman by definition. Because humility is power under control. You know humility is power under control. And there's some level of power

1:03:02 that resources bring in a relationship. So, the one who controls the resources One of my bosses met me one day and he looked at me looked me in the eye and asked me, "Silas, what is the golden rule?" And so, I was very They are biblical. Do unto others what you'd have them do to you. He said, "That's true, but the golden rule of this world is that he who has the gold rules. He who has the gold rules. Gold is a considerable asset in power. So, in a relationship between a man and a woman, the one who the one who who controls the resources control the relationship. So, if you're a man and you're dating a woman who is wealthier than you, if she submits, she is a she that is a non-estly genuine submissive woman.

1:03:49 And uh I would encourage the man to stick, but he will still suffer. He He He is suffering. Yes, he will still suffer because >> [laughter] >> Yes, he is suffering. It is the truth. No, I feel like he's suffering because he himself is not comfortable where he is, you know? And I challenge him to like rather than feeling like this is not going to work, it he should challenge himself to actually be better, do better, and try to like get better. He's telling himself that it will not work. Yeah. Yeah, I can understand that, but is he doing something about it? I hope he is. Yes, you see now that's another thing. Because you see, there is uh men who date women who have more money than them, but they have that serious potential or they are starting there.

1:04:36 Sometimes the scales tip. You see? But for a man dating a woman who is who is wealthier than her, uh the wealthier than him, the man needs number one to be a very strong man, a man twice as masculine. Yes. Number two, the woman has to be a genuinely submissive submissive woman. You find boss ladies, you will cry. Look at the people on social media who have dated boss ladies. Don't they end up in premium tears? No, don't they end up in premium tears? And now you see, because of this feminism, see, we said we are empowering the woman. Didn't we destroy the society? Because now, if all women >> [clears throat] >> become very rich and all men become

1:05:23 below them, there will be an imbalance in the intersexual in the sexual marketplace. Because the men crave submission. Women crave protection provision. You see? Men are in conquest and providing resources. So, if the women are providing the resources, they will want to control these men. So, there will be birth of um uh men who abandon their kids, men who cannot stay. You see? Women who cannot listen to their men. So, the society, instead of becoming better, it gets worse. That's the danger of feminism. That's why I say feminism is an anti-God. It's actually a war. >> [laughter] >> It's actually a war against God who created the social order.

1:06:10 Imagine. Because if you would have stopped it at rights of men and women, if you would have stopped it at rights, then we would have a mobile a more balanced society than what we have right now. More balanced in the sense that uh women will be women and feminine. When a woman is at her feminine, the masculine is usually triggered. The paternal instincts. That's why when we are with you in the rain, >> [laughter] [laughter] >> Hey, but you will always see paternal

1:06:58 instincts of protecting when you see Did you see that lady who was being beaten by a boda guy? And then there was a key gentleman who came >> [laughter] >> to intervene key John Cena style. He got beaten. Uh Superman, he got beaten. You see? So, women have at least So, when when the society is balanced and it has not been pushed to feminism has not been pushed to we are against men, it should have been we are against oppression. You see? Because oppression of women is a violation of a woman's rights. You see? The right to vote, the right to equal employment opportunity, the right to all of this. But they took it a notch higher. Waliweka 22s wakaipeleka.

1:07:44 What What a man can Did you see a video of an American judge and not an American person doctor? A doctor with a PhD in in medicine in udaktari taken to the before the Senate and asked if a man can give birth. And she was unable to >> unable to answer that question. Yes, I saw that. She was unable to answer uh the question, "Can a man give birth?" Crazy. She was unable. So, that's that's that's what feminism is doing. In a it brings a lot of dirt with itself and a lot of germs that infect the society. That's the LGBTQ and all those things where they flourish. Because now,

1:08:30 women [clears throat] don't want to be submissive, men don't want to provide and protect. So, women A woman may see that uh I am okay better off with another woman. After all, I'm not getting any value from the men. So, I might as well uh be with another woman. You see, we destroy the society. Yes. And people who are at the helm of supporting feminism are men. Weak men. Weak men in power? Yes, weak men in power. Uh how to approach indirectly. So, we've said enter without an agenda. Then anchor in the environment. So, what's this? This is use what's around you.

1:09:16 Uh Context removes suspicion. So, a comment about the setting, a a situation, or a late observation. So, this makes the interaction feel more natural and less targeted. Yes, more natural and and less targeted. I say this is just my own opinion and I have no reason why I think this way. Mhm. But I think setups such as coffee places and very nice restaurants are very good places to meet people. Mhm. I don't think clubs are. Why? I don't think clubs are good places to meet people because people are intoxicated and beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. >> [laughter] >> And so, I I hear rumors that when the

1:10:03 beer kicks, everything is pretty. And you wake up the next morning and you wonder where on earth did we meet? I think >> [laughter] >> when people are in restaurants and like coffee places, they are in their best behavior. They try to put this facade about one acquire to this character, you know? Meet them at the beer holding. Mhm. They are that themselves. Their true colors show. They become themselves. They express themselves more openly and very They actually not themselves, Tesa. They're an amplified version. >> self or >> Imagine they're an amplified version. [laughter] The truth they will tell you. The truth they think about you because it alcohol

1:10:51 and intoxication any form of intoxication >> form is a wall breaker. Yeah. That's why you can find when when I was in campus, we used to go to parties, house parties and we would get there and nobody knows that the next person. Maybe we know just the host and the sister or the brother. So, ladies came on account of the sister, gentlemen came on account of the brother. And everybody was just quiet, not talking to anyone until one or two beers passed and the guys are drunk. Then all of a sudden sudden they're best friends. You see? So, it's a wall breaker. So, imagine that alcohol breaking the wall. So, imagine if you broke the wall as a man yourself. Broke that wall in that same way. That means you'll have a very meaningful attraction. You'll have very good

1:11:37 conversation and then again have you not seen there are people who are in prison because they picked a lady at night when she was intoxicated. The lady woke up in the morning. She realized that she has messed up. She said the guy had I said Huh. The guys are in prison like that. She got a guilty conscience. Or she was cheating on someone. And then when she decided to you decided you who picked her up. That's why it is dangerous to pick a drunk lady. Don't don't even try to have relations with a lady who is drunk that you you have met because you're going to fall into trouble. You don't know you don't know what she will be when she wakes up. >> Yeah. When she is actually sober. When

1:12:23 she puts on her mask. Yes, and in this society where men are guilty until proven innocent, you don't want to be in that situation. Where a woman would say that you essayed her and you did not want to do that or intend to do that. But [snorts] let me defend the woman there. Mhm. Most people assume that when Okay, it is true that when you are maybe intoxicated, your judgement is impaired. >> Yeah. And to the expense of men, they take this as um as a way of not asking for consent. They just assume that oh, now because she is impaired judgement is she's going to be

1:13:10 a bit easier Oh. >> to accept everything that I do. So, that's why most of the women who are sexually assaulted are usually sexually assaulted when they are intoxicated because men just assume that now there's no consent. Like it's a consent it's given because you kind of don't have the meaning you would have if you were sober. That's why most men pick up women who are intoxicated. >> Yes. I don't do that. That is just courting trouble. It is courting trouble. That's why I'm saying a more social

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