MHA Webinar Episode 43: Does parenting style affect children's mental health?

0:00 Good afternoon to all of us. I hope you are all doing very well. It's April 2026 to have an interesting conversation about parenting and today we are looking at does parenting style affect children's mental health? uh parent in the Denzee era to secure their mental well-being. We are going to ask and answer this question and so uh we are going to have a very interesting and important conversation is an issue that uh most of us

0:47 fix as to how to go about it. The genesis of today are kind of tricky. So it's a difficult terrain for most of us and that is why we have chosen this topic to discuss. So before I introduce my facilitators uh our usual housekeeping rules is an operation. uh keep your microphones off until we are asked to uh make a comment make a submission then I would mute you then we can have your say while the program is going on feel free

1:33 to share your comments and uh the opportunity arises I'll read them we are discussing mental health so it's a sensitive matter please if you get the opportunity to make a submission. Be sensitive, be empathetic, and be nonmental in your submission. That way, we can all be comfortable in the conversation without stressing anyone. If you do not know, the mental health authority also have a helpline that you can call in to seek for psychological first aid for our mental health problems.

2:20 And the number is 0800 678678. I repeat the number again. 0800 678678. If you have an issue that you want somebody to talk to or you are directing somebody to talk to us and have a conversation and that is the line is the help line to free help line that you can call to get that psychological first aid. Yes. So an interesting topic on parenting does parenting affect our children's mental health? We are going to answer that question. Some of us we don't know,

3:06 some of us also do know. So we are going to uh for those of us who don't know, we are going to get an answer to that question. And with me to do that, I have Dr. Jonathan Aubamey. He's a clinical a practicing clinical psychologist as well as a senior lecturer at the University of Ghana. Joining him to have the discussion is also Dr. Joan Malari Auchu. She's also a practicing clinical psychologist as well as a senior lecturer in the University of Ghana. Believe you me both of them are seasoned practitioners. They've really

3:52 experienced and consulted in various organizations. They they decided not to share their profile. But what I can tell you is that they are very experienced and they know their stuff. Uh so believe me, we are going to have an interesting conversation. Feel free to share your comments whilst the conversation is going on and uh we'll have an interactive and a fruitful discussion at the end of the day. Uh let me share okay somewhere in between the the conversation I'll share the data with you when we've gotten the picture but let me start ladies first let me start with you Dr. Dana are you there can you

4:39 hear me? >> Yes please I hope I also you can hear me as well. >> Yes I can see your beautiful face and I'm sure all my participants can see. Did you enjoy my music? Yes, I did. Hey, afternoon with this kind of music. >> I'm sitting in the office trying to relax myself with this stuff. So, uh I play this kind of music once in a while. So, I decided to share with my participants. Yes. Yes. Yes. It it seemed unusual at the time, but well, it's music anyway. So let me let me ask you so that you put this conversation

5:26 into perspective for us. In the topic I specifically mentioned Gen Z in the topic the topic is does parenting style affects children's mental health parenting in the Gen Z era to secure their mental well-being and it came to light that we have different types of genes. So let my participants understand who we are talking to which group of disees we are going to talk about today then we all are on the same page. >> Okay. So good afternoon to you all um on

6:11 the line and I would want to say that I appreciate uh the invitation to join this conversation. I'm sure that today Dr. will sleep because I've been swerving him here and there but today he got me to come and um be on the panel after a very long while. And so to set the tone for this uh conversation, if we are talking about Jenz's, let's bear in mind that we are talking about children uh who are between teenage the teenage period and early adulthood. H children born roughly between the early 2000s and then 2012.

6:57 So this discussion excludes a alphas the the little ones and I believe that h we will talk about them in another forum. If you look at the children you know there are several st different stages and talking about teenagers and early adulthood is a different thing altogether. If we compare the children the children's needs to adolescent needs there are differences. And so today if you are listening to us we are going to concentrate on a teenagers um through early adulthood. You agree with me that at this stage they are looking like the

7:43 parents. They able to reason somehow like the parents and then sometimes they feel they have arrived. They can also be in charge of their own lives but truth of the matter is that they will still need a direction till um they become adults. So we should also bear in mind that in this h era the genz's are driven by technology and every child grows in an environment and these environment potentially shape who they are. And so if you are looking at GenZ's one of their environment or their default environment is technology and so we are going to

8:28 particularly with social media and stuff like that. So we are going to focus on the teenagers growing up with technology as part of them because they care so much about what is happening in the technological world. So I would um end here and then we um I don't know whether Dr. Dami has something to add then we can continue the conversation Dr. over to you. Thank you very much Dr. Afu. Uh the meat of this conversation is important. So as we do the basics then

9:15 we go to the meat itself. Dr. Dh what kind of parenting style am I using? I know we have different type of parenting styles. Can you please quickly brush it through for us so each of us will be able to identify the parenting style that we are using? >> Okay. Thank you very much Dr. Ata and also thank you very much Dr. Harry Larafu for their insightful presentation on the Gen Z youth or children. So basically um research has shown that all parents irrespective of where you find

10:01 yourself um your parenting style that is um the way you relate to your children, the way you teach them, the way you guide them every day in their activities. Um we have four main parenting styles. Yes. And each parent may have one be more dominant or may even have both but at least one is more pronounced or one is more seen. So currently based on research data and facts um there are four main parenting styles we have parents that we call them as authoritarian parents. Yes. So these parents who are called authoritarian parents are parents who will say that

10:46 for them they are very very strict obey before complain they always strict on their children. Then we have parents that we also say that they are authoritative. You see such a parent know he or she is very firm but is also what loving. So that parent is an authoritative parent. Okay that's fine. Then you also have a parent that will call that how this parents they are very very permissive. They are very very soft. Everything they are okay. Whatever the child will do is okay. Everything they okay. They are very very soft. Then the

11:33 last type of parent or parenting style is what we call the neglectful parents. As for these parents there, they are never never never involved in whatever their children do in their school, in their at the church, everywhere the child finds him or herself. If you ask the parents, please where is your child right now? He or she can't know where the child is. that is they don't put their world into their child's world. They are very very neglectful. But you see these four parenting styles that I've talked about shows how parents treat their children every day and it affects the way most children feel inside. And I like what Dr. Autu said,

12:20 we looking at the adolescent. Yes. So these parents you're looking at how they relate to the adolescent children. So they can be very very strict that is the authoritarian. They can be very very firm but loving. They they can be the best of parents that is the authoritative parents. Then we have the permissive parents who are very very soft. Then we have the parents who are also neglectful. That one they don't put themselves into their child's activities at all. They don't care. I for so these are the four types of parenting styles that we have based on research and based on what happens around okay thank you very much Dr. That's clear and simple. So for me, I

13:07 know my style. My style is authoritative. Authoritative understand. What about you? Were you able to identify the style that you've been using? Are you permissive, authoritarian or uninvol or you just like me? Anyway, you know it. Now let's see how this kind of style would impact on the mental health of the auto but let me ask you what would you consider as the single mental health challenge as the most single mental health challenge for our children today? >> Um am I going to Hello.

13:54 >> Yes. >> Yes. So are we um talking about that based on the parenting styles? >> Um well depending on how you say it. >> Okay. So yes. So I would I would want to add a little to what um my brother has said. Of course, every parenting style you you decide to use would impact in some way on the child. H so if you are um using a particular style, it is going to affect how the child relates to other people. It's going to affect how the child

14:40 manages his or her emotions. Is going to affect their choices as well. Um let me quickly say that for um interpersonal relationship um it is very significant I say this a colleague of mine is working on a colleague of mine is working on um um interpersonal relationships marital relationships the correlation between the child's parenting style or the parenting style the child received when they were children and the current relationship they have with their spouse and the results are quite interesting. my friend neighbor neighbor I don't know

15:27 when I asked her to join h neighbor neighbor if you are on the line h I'm using your examples and it's it's amazing what the correlations are the type of parenting style tells a lot on the kind of um on the kind of relationships even that the child has the emotional regul relations and so on and so forth. Now come to talk about the um I'm trying to pull a document here. It's not pulling. Okay. Yes. One minute.

16:13 So my brother talked about the authoritative parenting. Um in the Gen Z world aside what she has said aside the warmth and all that in the Gen Z world we know that I have established that the the technology and social media is very important to the individual. Now the authoritative parent would want to understand what is happening to the child when it comes to social media. What are they watching? So they are boundaries. They will give you room to operate but they are boundaries right. The authoritative parent would say that well uh don't use it at all

16:59 because um they are strict. So they don't want you to explore social media because they feel it may have some negative impact on you. The neglectful parent doesn't care whether you use it or not. He doesn't care where you are going, what you are looking at and all that. Whilst the the um permissive parent would would allow you give the gadgets without any controls. Now this is what is likely to happen. The authoritative parent because they are

17:46 the world of technology very well without the excesses. The neglectful parent of course would have neglectful parents would have a child who would be affected. The child is more or less regulated. Some of them wouldn't even have the urge to relate with other humans and with time you realize that these people have become very impulsive uh in their dealings. Then we have the permissive parents also you have um in in the fashion of the neglectful parent you have low self-esteem issues and all that because the child wants validation and wants it

18:32 from from other people right while the those um of the um authoritarian parents would begin to look down on themselves because they are looking at setting standards on the on the um internet or on social media and they are feeling that no they don't match up to this. So these are some of the things that they they they face. So either they are going to um have a very high self-esteem because they know what they are about that is the with authoritative authoritative parenting the child knows what they are going for they know what they are learning they know what as the genesis would say what is settings and

19:18 they decipher what they call settings from what is actual and so they able to navigate without any kind of difficulties so they build their self-esteem. They build their own validation without depending on those on social media. The authoritarian I have seen certain um children who because of uh the fact that parents are not giving them validation. They go on social media and they want validation. There are there are young people who come to me and said I posted this and nobody liked it. It means or few people liked it. It means nobody likes me. And this child gets so shuttered, self-esteem becomes very very low. A loneliness set in

20:05 depression, anxiety may also set in. Right? So these are some of the the uh things we are dealing with when um in practice when it comes to uh the genz's and the type of parenting that uh we are giving them. Dr. >> Thank you. Thank you very much. So in other words, our parent system has a strong impact on the mental health of our children. That's clear from what you just said. Dr. W would you like to add something like something to it? >> Okay. So I'll just add just a little to what do dog has said. You see yesterday h someone sent me a message. In fact, I sent the flyer to a friend of mine and

20:53 he sent me a message that dog, if your child misbehave, are you a bad parent? I asked then I asked him, why are you asking me that question? No, I say yes. His child is stubborn or or a bad boy. The child is not obeying his rules. So, does it make him a bad parent? You see most of the time parents are often judged when their children misbehave badly. For instance, a child goes to school and that child does not respect. But you see it is different. What I will say is that all children irrespective of gender or age at one point in time may

21:39 misbehave. And I believe as a psychologist, it is part of their learning and their development. So if you're a parent and you have a child who is misbehaving, it is not a sign of failure. Of course, we are not saying that you have to be too strict or to be too soft. But you see, you have to balance the two. And from what doctor was saying, some parents have certain stance. They believe social media is wrong. So they wouldn't even encourage the child to be on social media and in this case the child has peers because you ask a question what is the biggest problem of Jenz realize that people are moved by peer pressure and comparison. So if charity begins at home and my

22:25 parents are against social media and my my friends appreciate me on social media then the child will get that validation from social media and it will create a problem. So there's the need for us to establish the fact that the child the fact that your child is misbehaving doesn't mean that you are a bad parent because yesterday a parent asked me that question and I said no it is a choice you can teach your child all the good morals but for the child to embibe that teachings into their day-to-day activities because of course all children misbehave I have taught in a school before people think that h a parent must be strict when the father is at home, the father must be strict and the mother is soft. What of a a a house that there's no father or there's no

23:12 mother? So, we need to balance and make sure that we understand all these parameters. So, the fact that the child is misbehaving or is on social media doing something bad is not always the fault of the parent. Sometimes it is external forces. It could be peer pressure or the child wants to compare him or himself to his peers. This is what I want to add. Yeah. Um um Dr. Dami, the the other side twist is very true and I'm very happy that you have brought this up because some of us parents are doing our best but sometimes we feel that we have failed. So what you have just said is a very important aspect of the discussion. On the other hand, we we should also know as parents

23:58 that we we can't have it all 100%. So the focus is not to raise perfect children but raising children who are emotionally stable and resilient so that they can navigate the complex challenges in in in their world. So yes, we to make their choices and all so that we know that yes indeed um my my child is stable to be able to navigate around the the the challenging world and so don't look at the fact that your child is not perfect in any way. Who defines perfection? We define perfection by comparing our children with other

24:45 children. Let's bear in mind that these children are different. The genes in them are different. The environment in which they are growing are different. And like Dr. Dame said, their influences are also different. And so don't beat yourself so much as a parent um thinking that I have not raised a perfect child. Is your your child able to um manage their emotions? Are they stable? Are they resilient? Are they able to navigate their world or navigate the challenges that come with their world? If you you you're able to do this, I I think that you should um applaud

25:30 yourself. I know that we know parents want h the child to go that way but once you are able to guide them to have some of these qualities yes it's it's it's okay we are not looking out for a 100% perfect child thank you >> the time you are supposed to brush your teeth over would you be kind enough to switch off your microphone Sarah, please switch off your microphone. So this brings me to the next question about challenges and building resilience

26:18 and all that. Let me get your perspectives on this both of you. Now it is as a revival challenges that when we face them we are able to build resilience. Now this is the generalized well this is some opinion that some have about parenting. Their view is that their view is that uh the Gen Z is fragile and overpared. So uh we parents the modern day parents

27:04 we focus too much on the mental health thinking that we actually creating resilience for them. But in actual fact we are showing them from the very challenges with which they need to build that resilience. What is your view on this? Let me start with you Dr. Dabin. >> Yeah thank you very much. In fact this is a very very interesting question and it brings me to this idea that just dropped uh into uh my mind. Okay. Okay. So I was asking myself this question right now that if a parent is too loving to the child will let's pull the child.

27:49 Okay. And you're also asking a question that Gen Z people are fragile and also there's issue of what over parenting. I think that um you see in terms of parenting too much of everything is bad. And I always say that no matter how good something is, there's something bad in it. And no matter how bad something is, there's always something very very very good in it. So I believe that um parents h the question is are parents protecting their child or children too much? You see being Gen Z is not a weakness but of course you were born during the time of computers and mobile phones. You see they are just more open about their

28:35 emotions and their feelings. You see they can talk. Me when I was a child when my father is at home I will not talk. I will edit whatever I will say. But children of today our parents are there and they are what they are talking. So I realize that the kind of children that we have today are different from what we used to have in the past. These are children who grew up in technology. So they remember that the smartphones they grew up when there was internet and also when the there social media do you get it? So they watch things online and they have a strong use of social media and again they are also independent thinkers. It will surprise you that there are things that our children know on on on the internet most of us who are

29:22 even parents we may not even know. So for instance you are a teacher or you a parent but you see your child is a you you correct your child in a class when he or she cries you see and you say that oh he or she is too fragile you see and the parents will solve the problem for the child every problem they are a problem to solve it they will say that the child can't handle life alone but it is what it is different so we are not saying that these children are being uh overprotected or they are fragile. We have to understand the environment in which they find themselves in and know how best to relate to them so that they will not be carried away by social media

30:08 and certain fake behaviors and they will be pretentious and they'll be doing things that will affect parents and the way they want their children to behave towards them. >> Yeah. Um Dr. I will add. >> Okay. >> So, so um I think that the issues you've raised are very important and I can understand that h parents a lot of us parents of today. Um we don't want our children to experience the tough times we probably have endured during our childhood. And so in an attempt to ensure that they are not going through what we have gone through um we are over

30:54 overly protecting them and uh this also has its downsides. You know the there are parents who don't want their children to take initiatives or do things for themselves. So that uh sometimes any little challenge or anything they feel uh the child cannot do they won't even allow the child to try they try to do it for for them. And these uh children eventually stand the slightest pressure because they can't think of uh me going

31:39 through this pressure. So we they call themselves the soft life gangs, right? Soft life. They don't want anything that will will will stretch them even a a little. But what we need to bear in mind is that ultimately we are preparing them for the future. H the big question is that can we live their lives for them? There's going to be a time that we may not be there. I'm not saying that we may be dead. Yes, the death is inevitable. It may come in the course of time but sometimes they may travel and we may not be there with them and so obviously we cannot live their lives for them. And um aside that we also appreciate that

32:26 challenges in life is inevitable. Once in a while we need to jump some unicated hurdles and if they are not prepared for that that is where they become very overwhelmed. And so we need to give them room to operate especially with task that they can do or they can try their hands on and um we come in only when it becomes very necessary. Let me share some incidents with you. um as a lecturer and course advisor and then um an examiner you'll see some students coming to you oh doc please I didn't see my results on MIS and then we

33:13 investigate sometimes um it's an oversight so we look for the scripts and then we put the something very simple right so just approaching the lecturer talk to the lecturer this is my problem and then the lecturer solves solves the issue with you. But you see some parents coming in saying that saying that madame my daughter has a problem. My daughter has been crying throughout the weekend. She says all her colleagues have received their their result except her. Some some parents come like that and I will ask please um where do you work? And they will tell me and I'll say that oh you are supposed to be at work.

33:59 Please go away. We will solve the issue. So I let them go and then I give it to the child small and I I will tell the parents that look next time tell the child to come to me because that is why we are here in the absence of their parent we are here to support them to act as parent figure. So if they can call you to come from wherever you are they can equally come to me. Some would even send you messages and we respond. And so if you want to do everything for them it it becomes a problem in future you see. So from the house everything is done the little thing she he or she runs to the parent and the parent is ready to do it for for for the child right and it

34:46 becomes an issue. I'm also mindful of the fact that sometimes yes they get overwhelmed with multiple and complex stresses. If you come to campus like this sometimes the the the stresses are all over. Okay. So for such instances it is okay to guide them on how to organize themselves and navigate those roles. While you are doing that you are helping them identify how they they can cope and gradually they build resilience in the process. So yes, if we we want to um do everything for them, they lose that uh skill of being independent for themselves, standing for themselves. And

35:34 so we should give them a little room to also operate and um be able to build some resilience or some skills for themselves, problem solving skills, h coping skills, identify them and use them. So uh they they build the resilience that we want to see them have in future. >> Thank you very much Dr. We need to give them that space that room to operate. We should help them to organize and learn how to cope with situations other than that we are not helping them. So I think it's a balancing act that we need to do. It's a balancing act we need to do when it's time for to give them room to operate. We give them that room to

36:19 operate when we have to help them to organize and cope. We help them but not to do everything for them. Thank you very much. Now I realize that my old man style that he used which was authoritarian that he used and has made me who I am today. I'm using that on my kids but it seems not to be working. It seems not working. It is not helping the children's mental health. What would you advise Dr. Thank you very much for the question and um I also want to add something to what

37:05 um dog said in fact the jersey today they communicate with their parents most of the time through texting and WhatsApp messages but our time wasn't like that. me my time my father didn't have a mobile phone in those days so I was talking to my father face to face but now things have changed okay that's fine so you realize that um you you are saying you are following the authoritarian parenting style with your kids >> yeah and we said that yeah we said that authoritarian parents they are very firm but they are fair to their rules so as a parents, you would set clear rules for your children. You tell them that, hey, when you go to school, study, when you

37:51 go to school, don't do bad things. You tell your child that you you have to finish your homework before you. So in this case, the parent also must listen to the child. And of course, children are also allowed to ask questions. So for instance, you can tell the child that, oh, please tell me why you didn't do this like this. so that the child also would explain why they did things the way they did it. So in this case you see you balance the discipline you see and you have to also follow the rules consistently and you punish them but you don't have to use harsh or abusive words. In fact, recently about two two weeks ago, a parent was telling me that the child is

38:37 shouting and I said that ah if your child is shouting then maybe at home you also shout to your child and I asked the child does mommy shout at you. The child said yes mom is always shouting at me and even shouting at daddy and I was like you see ching begins at home. So what style whatever style you are showcasing at home is what the child is also what picking up. So I believe that if you're a parent and you are following the authoritative parenting style, you have to be firm with your children. You show them love but you let them know that this is wrong and this is right. And if you do what is right, this is the reward. What is wrong, this is the punishment. So that the child knows that

39:23 when I do this I'll get something good when I do bad I'll be punished and it is open to both of them and there are some houses that I know that the parents have written certain duties for their children home chores weekends you do gardening you sleep you do that if you don't do it you will not watch this movie you will not do this you not do that yes so this is how you can balance the Of course, you are fair with them. You show them love and care, but you are also fair with the rules so that they are all clear on the dos and the don'ts. >> All right. Thank you very much. I've really picked my lesson. Dr. Would you like to have something?

40:09 >> Yes. Yes. So when you said that I started laughing because this is something that um I was discussing with somebody last week that you know there is a tendency to be guided by the parental style of your parents especially if in your assessment this has yielded good outcome. I remember that h those days when you misbehave and you are canained if you cry you will be beaten if you don't cry you'll be beaten because you don't respect or you have not appreciated the king okay and if we we decide to bring this it will be problematic there's this advert that goes the tradition goes on so in your estimation

40:56 your great granny has used that parenting style Well, it yielded results. Your granny's have used that. It yielded results. Your parents use that same on you. And so you also want to use that same on your Gen Z child. It will not work. My brothers and sisters now if you do that in fact we have earned the name the Afric African parents, right? Some sometimes if you don't agree with them, they will say, "Oh, you are an African parent." So you don't understand what is happening. Yes. Um the Gen Z child want to know why you are giving certain instructions. Before they come asking you a question, they have already received into that and

41:43 they just need a confirmation from you. They are also very much aware of themselves and what is going on. they they know sometimes they they have choices but they just want to be guided on what to do. They want to be sure they are doing the right things and so the African parent style no longer works. So I uh discourage that. Um it has probably yielded results for you but it will not yield for for that. In place of that what I would um suggest is that we need to be intentional about parenting. Now we need to intentionally partner with them to parent them better. I know that

42:30 a lot of African parents will not agree with me that why should I partner with my child to know how to parent them. Yes, they they are no longer children. they are growing and they have firsthand information of their own experiences. They have firsthand experiences of their world or understanding of their own world. And so if we are open about having conversations that will facilitate our understanding of their experiences and the world they live in, we would be better parents. We would meet their need. Let me put it that way. will meet will be able to meet their needs. So we need to intentionally build

43:18 a better connection with them and study their wealth so we can be able to meet them appropriately. Um whilst I was talking something struck me I watch um a a movie on Netflix adolesence. I learned a lot from from that movie and so um let let's if you have the the opportunity to watch that just watch it and pick certain lessons. The parent felt that they they they knew the child. They felt that they they have it all figured out but they actually didn't know the child and the potential of that child or the tendencies let me say the tendencies of that child. And so let's

44:04 let's um uh change our style small. Thank you. >> Thank you very much. Someone's asking the title of the movie >> Adolesence on Netflix. >> The movie. Okay. >> Adolesence. Adolesence on Netflix. >> African parents. Change your style. Change your style. >> Change your style. Well, I've learned I've learned my lesson and uh I'll change my style, but okay. So, now I have some practical cases that I want us to look at and how do we deal with it and give us a little explanation about it mental health implications on both sides, pros

44:50 and cons. So, so for example, my 15year-old son is refusing to go to school. is anxious, not refusing, is too anxious to go to school, do not force them to go to school or let them stay at home. What are the mental and health implications of this? >> Let me start with you. Let me start with you Dr. D. >> Yeah, thank you very much um Doc and I want to just pass a comment towards to add to what Dr. Abu said. You see whilst doctor was talking I was asking myself this question that does discipline actually work when you discipline a child or does it really even worsen the behavior because you see sometimes you

45:36 know he he he said something which was very very true if you beat a child and he doesn't cry when he cries to her it's an issue but you see sometimes I don't think all discipline works some disciplines will be ineffective it may even confuse the child and may even increase rebellion behavior among the child and it can even damage the parent and the child relationship because I know some parents who when they are beating their children some use wire some use strong belts leather belt some even slap their children some even push them some can even use and in this case disciplining the child is good but what you are doing >> would worsen their behavior so please as

46:22 parents you should know what >> yeah it's child abuse and I also want to say this thing I think one of the forums I learned something from one of our seminars when we're looking at children parenting and I think child abuse and arrest and I got to know that even pampering a child overly showing love sometimes is a form of abuse so if a child does something instead of discipling a child as a parent now oh pampo oh you are abusing the child and of course that is for a different uh discussion but you ask the question you have a 15year-old child who says who is too anxious to go to school what do you do to them to go would you let them stay at

47:08 home this is a very very true story and it's a very very true issue that you have to really look at because you see sometimes some children don't like the school environment for whatever reason they don't just like the school environment. You might have a child who is good in school but still on per school environment they prefer to be at home. There are some kids the moment they see their teacher they will cry and cry and cry and cry and cry. You leave them in the school you come back and they happily dancing and singing socks. So you ask yourself why is it like that? But we are looking at the jes and the rest. So in this case if you look at the 15 year old child they later do the Jay-Z at a different stage. So first of

47:53 all as a parent if you have a child who is so anxious going to school I will advise you to please don't ignore their feelings and don't impose your duties on them. You know some parents they will talk. You will say all those things please. It may not help their child. Listen to them and find why is the child not wanting to go to school and try to support them gradually. Sometimes environment or the classroom environment is hostile. Some kids are being bullied in school. Some kids are being teased in school. >> Yeah. Not long ago I was having a school

48:39 where a class teacher had grouped the children based on a level of intelligence. So those who are who are brilliant at A those who are less brilliant are at B and they at D. So every role and your level of intelligence and I told each other that you see what you are doing it has it both pros and cons. Those who are at D where would they leave D and come to C and later come to B and come to A while those who are at A are also trying to stud to maintain their position there. So in this case the child will not be happy to go to school and the child will be so much anxious. So if the child fears bullying in school the parent must speak to the teacher. My child comes home and he's always talking about his

49:26 classmates, bullying him, calling him all kinds of names and it's so sad where maybe that child is big or small or that child has certain distinctive characteristics then if the teacher himself would even be reinforcing the child's behavior and if the child's characteristics we say we say we say and of course psychology will tell you that words are powerful words can kill and words can heal. So such a child who is unsure about going to school the parent should know why the child is anxious and discuss with the class teacher sometimes some children even fear exams they are afraid of exams they afraid of test when I was in school those days we used to have is it mental early in the

50:13 morning will come 5 and most of us will say that we going to the washroom so that we miss that session I will be in the washroom to finish the session. Oh dog sir I have running stomach I have headache we go to the washing b all these things are behaviors that teachers should even what pick up so I believe that if your child is anxious and he's going to school please don't force them try and address the issue because he will not go hear anything whatever they will teach him or her his mind will be outside the classroom so as parents we need to understand why the child is anxious try to talk to the teacher and also the child so that we can have a very very good solution to the problem.

51:00 Thank you. >> Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Dr. D, hold your thoughts on that. Hold your thoughts. Hold on. Hold your thoughts. Uh my dear participant, ladies and gentlemen, we are going for a commercial break. And this commercial break, I'm going to invite our deputy chief executive, Mr. Constance, please mute your microphone. >> Constance, please mute your microphone. Constance Kjo please mute your microphone please. At this point I'm going to invite our deputy chief executive in the person of Dr. Vivian Mame Abadazi. She has a short message for us. H she

51:46 will deliver her message briefly. After that we'll do a 5 minutes uh commercial break. And in that commercial break, I'll go back to my music because you'll be doing something for mental health authority. Dr. Mameazi, kindly the floor is yours. >> Hello and good afternoon everyone. I think that you're having a very great um discussion that I'm very passionate about. uh at the appropriate time I'll add my voice to it but I just want to say that uh the panelist and everybody is doing a great job uh with the topic. Uh of course parenting styles

52:33 does have an impact on the type of children we raise in this current Gen Z dispensation. We have various forms and styles of parenting when done right will yield a positive um outcome when it comes to our children that they will become good future leaders. Uh are you are you always I don't know what if I should do a self disclosure growing up as a as a child uh in the 60s7s uh 80s you realized that the African parent now that we are called we used a

53:22 lot of uh parenting style which were were very intimidating which resulted in a lot of kids uh with low self-esteem and very uh introverted because go nowadays when your parent are even talking and they are having a discussion they say shut up who dare you talk when I'm talking who dare you speak when I'm speaking that really have effect on children and it really make us become um introverted we are not able to express ourselves well unlike in the west when your parent will have actual conversation seek your opinion on things and value uh your

54:10 opinion in Africa or in our world we don't accept that and it has a lot of mental health implications on the children uh you talked about discipline and discipline is a good way of strengthening or shaping your children if done and done well and I like Dr. Odami talked about how they use belts and in the in where we I practice we call it corporal punishment. Corporal punishment is very ineffective that is whipping the children with kings and all that. Actually, there's this case that I had where the parent got

54:56 their children to remove from home because they had come to Ghana and had brought a cane all the way from Ghana to the US >> and they used it on their children and the children called the police on them and they turned the cane as a weapon when they went to court that how do you go to Africa and bring a weapon to really scare off your children and or at least you are trying to cause harm because the bruises that leaves after you use the cane on them which is not effective anyway. So corporate punishment always bring rebellion children. Uh children who don't listen,

55:43 children who want to do whatever they want. After all, what are you going to do to me? You kill me. And they become stubborn. Some of them will stand there and get the weapons. And after all, what can you do to me? Nothing can you do to me. are using reasoning and making the children genuinely know that you care about them and valuing their experiences of uh their voice or whatever they talk talk to you about. You will realize that your children will become somebody that they can confide in. They will come to you and talk to you and all that. I think I'm talking too much. I'm not one of the panelists. I came here for a purpose. So I'm sorry. I think I'll end here and and talk about the

56:28 reason why uh we are here. So always consider corporal punishment is not the best option. Choose reasoning with your children because with that way you get to them uh and they recognize that oh my parent truly care about me and I have to go and talk to them about what I'm going through. >> Yeah. So I'm here because we are the mental health authority. We are about to enter into the month of May and in Ghana here we use the month of May as the purple month

57:14 to create mental health awareness across the country. This year we are trying to do something different. Although we are creating awareness but we are taking awareness into action >> so that although we are creating the awareness but we want to put the action part of it uh so that we can all see how we can help ourselves. >> We are talking about mental well-being and not mental illness all compasses. So please don't let's not um confuse ourselves with mental illness because when we talk about mental well-being our mind shift automatically to those with mental illness. Please all of us are

58:01 subject for uh mental health conditions and one way or the other we are triggered to experience mental health conditions daily in our lives. I'm glad we are even talking about parenting styles. Do our children really push us to a corner uh to a point that we get angry and I'll move swing from one to 100 the topic. YOU ARE TOO EXCITING WITH THE TOPIC. You are TOO EXCITED. SO MENTAL illness cut across all facets of life and we are here as um

58:51 at the mental health authority. We are here to appeal to you as we are all candidates for mental illness. We want to do something special uh this year for our brothers and sisters, family members, friends who are unfortunately be impacted negatively by mental illness. And we want to also help those of us who are struggling one way or the other, our various homes and workplaces and stuff like that. We are coming up with a lot of interventions but we can't do it if we don't have the

59:39 necessary support and funds um to do so. So we are coming out with the employee assistant programs and all kinds of stuff. So please, I'm here this afternoon to appeal to you to actually help us donate something small to support us. Whether it's 10 cities, 20 cities, 50 cities, 200 cities, any amount that you can come uh to support us with, we will be grateful and appreciate. Uh we have over 400 people on the line. If everyone should give us 50, 100, 10 CDs, 20 CDs, it will go a long way. So please support me health

1:00:27 authority to do something great in Ghana like a program like what we having like this, we have to support it in order for us to make the impact that we want to make. So please kindly donate your wig's might to support mental wellness in Ghana. So the code will be displayed. I will be looking out for your support and donation this afternoon. Thank you very much for having me and I apologize for taking much of your time especially to the panelist for speaking on your uh uh issue or the topic and the

1:01:14 discussion. Thank you and may God bless you. >> Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you very much Dr. Thank you very much my dear participants. like he's saying we need your support in terms of funds. So at this point I'm going to share the um MHA code and uh kindly just use it. >> Dr. Can you see my screen? >> Yes please. It is sharing. >> It is sharing. My dear participants please uh the short code star 725 star

1:02:03 6225 hash registered in the name of mental health authority. Kindly donate your widow's might and let's get this exercise going. We have many of our brothers and sisters in the streets want to get rid of them. uh we want to bring them into the facilities, treat, manage them and reintegrate them back into the communities, educational programs such as this in the schools and all that. We need your support. So this is better to be on for the next five minutes so that you can do the donation once the facilitators also take a breather. I also take a breather. I have not taking a breather. I'll just be reading and saying thank you for those of you who donate. uh to us. I think we have our first

1:02:51 donation uh from Sarah and other she's giving us 20 cities. Thank you very much Sarah. Thank you very much. Please keep your listen coming. >> It's 11. So at 11:16 we go back to our discussion and the code is 725 on the screen. Kindly please unite. >> Constance, please kindly mute your microphones.

1:03:37 Please mute your microphone. Thank you very much.

1:04:23 She's giving us 200 Ghana cities. Thank you very much. 200 Ghana cities. Please microphone. I just don't believe I just don't believe this.

1:05:18 Kofil, thank you very much. Kofil, thank you very much on 50 C. Thank you very much. Um, Flora Ainkra, thank you very much. Um Alberta 30 days. Thank you very much. August 26 days. Thank you very much. Mercy 30 days. Thank you very much.

1:06:18 There are some mention Victor. Thank you very much. Joanna Laura 100 cities. Thank you very much. Salasoku 150. Thank you very much. Raymon 20s. Thank you very much. Perhaps. Thank you very much.

1:07:06 Anastasia Opu Aiman 100 cities. Thank you very much. Anastasia Abuaj 100 cities. Thank you very much. Juliet Assuma 50s. Thank you very much, Juliet.

1:08:09 Um I I said 5 minutes and 5 minutes is up. That does not stop you from donating to it. You can take a photograph of the short quote and do the payment afterwards. Regina H. Thank you very much Regina. So we'll go back to our conversation. and my dear participants take a photograph and a contribution later. Thank you very much. I'll stop sharing now so that we can Okay, let me leave it on so that in case somebody wants to All right. So, Dr. um >> yes please >> back to back to our stories Dr. has

1:08:54 dealt with the first one in regards to anxiety for uh the child and he's done a good job to that. So what about this child who is also comparing himself? >> Doc, please can I add a little to this one? Um the 15year-old child. >> Okay, please do. But before you do that, let me let me say this thing which came in late. Rebecca Edin 56. Rebecca, thank you very much. Please go ahead. >> Okay. So um in addition to what uh doc said I want us to be mindful of the fact that some of our children can be very manipulative. Okay. And so um they may tell you that they wouldn't go and they they don't have any good reason for that. It may

1:09:43 also be the onset of a genuine mental health problem. my parents, you you need to patiently engage the child to open up on whatever the issues are and if you feel that you have to involve the school authorities, you do that. There is this child who came to um me um so I'm supposed to be an auntie. So she came and told me auntie today I went to school and I wanted to participate in a particular program. Was it a reading something or a debate or I forgotten what it was but when she went to express interest the

1:10:30 teacher just shut her down. You what do you know? But this is a very good student in my estimation and for a child to have come out to say that I want to do this. It's a good initiative that has to be applauded. So eventually I had to go and engage the the and this was a bother to this this young h lady you know at the time during adolescent they are trying to find their identity and so I want to willingly volunteer to do something to put my name out there as one of those who were in the debate club or something but she was just shut down. you are you are destroying the identity the

1:11:17 confidence of of of that child. So I had to go in and have a discussion with a with a with a teacher. So there could be a genuine reason or the child may be malingering or it may even be the onset of um a a genuine mental health problem uh for some of the issues. The child withdraws and doesn't want to go anywhere want to be by himself or herself. And so we must pay attention to some of these things. So doc, that's what I want to add. Dr. Yes. Yes. Thank you very much for that submission. So now to another case

1:12:04 you'll notice that this your child is comparing him or herself to influencers and uh it's become concerning. How do you start a conversation with this your child without him not or her feeling that you are preaching too much? How do you start this conversation? So you take it over Donna. >> Okay. So um let me mention that I've had the opportunity to deal with something like that in the past. So I was very curious why is this person all over this uh idol. Okay. H we psychologist we say model h. So maybe

1:12:49 this is the role model of the child. the child has identified this individual as his or her role model and want to follow him or her and model after this individual. So this is what I did in in that instance. I engaged this lady in a conversation and I was like um how I I don't know about this influenza. Could you tell me more about this influenza? So the lady told me a lot about the influenza and then I went ahead to find out when they ident she identified that influenza, how long she's been following uh what she's benefited from that influenza and then I also h gave a story

1:13:37 about an influenza I have seen online who eventually h was identified to be lying or deceiving. okay what they call settings and I encourage them that well it's good to have a model but you need to understand the fact that this circum the circumstances of this model is different from your circumstance so you can model up to a particular point you can't be the exact replica of this model you should look for a variant so you can also um be be um different or people will also identify you as a different individual and I also brought her mind

1:14:24 to the fact that well some of them may may may be lying or may be deceiving okay so h she needs to be mindful of that and that she told me that well she's learned some lessons in the past regarding that so I think that um if you are worried that your child is following an influenza do a research on that influenza. Ask the child if you are going to judge straight away that this person is not what you think he is and all that. H sometimes they take offense and they feel that you don't know what you are talking about. If you engage in a conversation and you establish the fact that indeed you can't be the exact replica of this individual or um if um you need to stand out on

1:15:12 your own if even you want to be an influenza in that line you also have to carve your own niche and direct the the child. I think um sometimes it's better uh if we go with judgments from the onset it will backfire. Thank you. Thank you very much Dr. Dr. Would you like to add something? >> Oh um I think Dr. Aut has gone deeply into the issue and what I'll just that um I think parents should try to explain to their children that um social media most of the time is not real. people

1:15:58 don't really showcase their real life on social media and that the you see may not really be the reality on the ground. For instance, nobody will travel abroad and take a bad picture and post on social media. Any picture you see on social media, the person is laughing, the person is smiling, person is dancing. But is that always the case? No. So what we see on social media may not really be the real case. So as a parent I would use this to say that we we need to advise our children that what we see may not really be the reality on the ground. Yeah. Thank you. In fact, there with this lady, I pulled one h influenza real this this lady had so much hair,

1:16:45 you know, um those of us who have natural hair, we want to grow it and get texture, volume and all that. And so this lady had detected the volume and she was telling h followers how she had h patiently grown the hair and the product and all that there. Someone came from behind her and pulled it. In fact if you look at the video you think it's the lady's natural hair but somebody came from behind and pulled the a wig. She was actually wearing a wig and I was shocked. That's what they call the settings. So when I I I pulled that and we watched h we loved it and but we learned the

1:17:31 lessons that it is not everything you see that h is what it really is and so at least um she's guided on how she follows it with passion and all that. Thank you. >> Thank you very much. Please permit me to read a few contributors to our fundraising. Joyce Elis by Toori 100 cities. Thank you very much Joyce. Juliana car 20 cities. Thank you Julana. Angelina 30 cities. Thank you. Salah 50 cities. Thank you. Salu Babra 50 cities. Thank you Babs. Isaac 200. Thank you Isaac. Sarah 30 cities. Thank you Sarah. Noah

1:18:19 will hand this. Thank you. I'll read the rest uh when we are still in session. Uh let me read a few of the comments that has come up so far. A lot that I've not read. Uh Techno Techno is asking about the recording session. It looks like Techno this is your first time. Uh this program is uploaded onto YouTube. Just go to YouTube, type in the title and have access to it. Subscribe so that subsequently you will have access to the rest. Join interesting conversation. Thank you. Thank you, Jo. Uh, Reverend Ju, thank you very much. Please, if a parent have four children, should the parenting approach be the same for all?

1:19:07 If not, what should the parent do? Dr. Dam, please write this question. Now, we'll come back to it when we get to the question and answer session. The parent have four children. Should the parenting approach be the same for all? If not, what should the parent do? Uh, Kobe is laughing. Jennifer Mo, uh, how does culture/ ethnicity play a role in this? In what? Um um Jennifer Karisa um uh Jia Group. I was homeschooled until

1:19:53 grade six. I was not allowed to watch television until I was 17. I didn't grow up with a babysitter. I grew up with don't open the gate for anybody. I have eventually been diagnosed with borderline personality. Sorry about that. But uh it's good that you are sharing your story here. I'm pretty sure that uh I've facilitated to make a comment or two about it. Veronica this Verica the 21st century parents are the primary

1:20:40 or focal person in the case of children to be in school. Okay Jude Mandela I did library school because my teachers were meeting me all the time because they thought I was stubborn. Well if they understood mental health now they would have known. Sorry for experience. Uh Victor Victor is stealing. All right. So I'll read the questions but let's come back to our discussion. Dr. Dana Larry let me ask you what is the relationship between me as a parent, my mental well-being and supporting my children's well-being and resilience? What what advice would you have for me? What advice would you

1:21:25 have for parents? um the parents mental well-being in relation to uh the child's well-being and building resilience >> and building resilience. So you know um children do a lot of observation and they learn from us. So whatever patterns we are building they are also um looking at that and building their own. In fact we have what we call emotion contagion. Your child will catch your emotions. Your child will catch the kind of emotional patterns that you have developed. So when um Dr. Odami

1:22:14 mentioned the fact that that child said that um mommy has been screaming at me and even screaming at daddy. >> I smiled because indeed whatever you are doing that child also would look look at it and then mimic the same thing. Now if you are a parent with a mental health challenge um I'm not um talking about um the me diagnosed mental health um disease but I'm looking at um maybe you have a habit of screaming you you have anger issues and all that the child is looking at um that um that pattern and

1:23:03 would mimic that. So if you have the one who will handle your stress by by shouting, you may unintentionally be building or teaching a child that you can't stay calm when there is problem. You must shout to seek relief. If you are the one who will keep calm and model some level of problem solving skills when it comes to um pressure or intense pressure, you are teaching the child that this is a good this is a way to cope and you are teaching the child. So if you are building resilience unconsciously you are teaching that child to also build that same resilience. So you can't give what you don't have to your child. So I

1:23:51 would suggest that if you're a parent and you are struggling with something even if it is a a diagnosed disorder, you need to let the child um know or you you need to seek support and let the child know that you are battling with this or that that is why you are doing that. that let them also understand that you are seeking support because it's very important that you do you do that. So let's be mindful of whatever we are doing. They learn a lot by um observing us. So how they will handle their own stresses they are looking at us. how they are expressing their emotions, managing their emotions. They are looking at what we are doing, how they

1:24:37 will solve problems. They are all looking at how we are doing it. And by doing that, they also develop a pattern uh that they would use to navigate their own challenges. And so we need to be mindful. If you need to seek support for a difficult h challenge, >> we need to do exactly that. So uh we teach them that yes sometimes you have problems but there is h some uh way out. I don't know whether Dr. Dami you would want to add on to to what I've said. >> Yeah thank you very much dog for the explanation while you were talking I was just thinking about what if the parent has a mental problem. You see, we are

1:25:23 looking at how uh parenting affects the child's mental health and the rest. But let's take for instance, maybe the mother has undiagnosed bipolar disorder where at one point in time she's so happy at that point in time she's so sad. When it happens like that, I think it will affect the child. >> The parents may be laughing at one point, then the next point he or she is withdrawn and like rules change based on the mood and it will confuse the child and in that the parent may not talk to the child. It will affect communication and the child may feel that emotional stress because the child may feel worried about the parent.

1:26:09 So you made a point in our submission that sometimes a child may have a mental problem that is why he or she is anxious. Sometimes to maybe to the parent may have a kind of mental problem and another thing I also want to I was just thinking about is you see when it comes to parenting we have mother and the father. What if the mother is neglectful and the father is authoritative? What if the father is permissive? All these things may have an impact on the child's behavior. >> For instance, me when I was a child, I was growing up, anytime my father beats me, I go to my mother for love, my mother, oh, okay. Okay. You see, I get that comfort from my from my mother. So

1:26:55 the vice versa when mommy also beats me, then I go to my father. But where both parents are strict or both parents are neglectful then the impact on the mental health of the child becomes a problem because then that's where society and the peer pressure comes in because there's fire at home. So when I go home, daddy is tricked, mommy is tricked, they don't listen to me. There are even some parents who not even ask the child how was school today. But as a parent, you need to always be addressed with your child's activities. when the child comes home how was school today it even tells the child that oh mommy is aware of whatever I do in school and it even boost the child's self-esteem and the child's confidence that hey if I go home mommy will ask me what's happening in

1:27:40 school so let me even be let me pay attention in the classroom so the question that was asked just what I want to add to what dog said there's a link the parents mental health or status emotional balance and the child's behavior even at school because if the child is going to school and there's love you see most of us we

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