Brief Summary
This video explores the intricate balance of pahala (rewards) and dosa (sins) within marriage, particularly focusing on how unresolved negative emotions can manifest as illness. Ustadz Dhanu explains that while marriage is a source of great pahala, it also presents numerous tests, and failure to navigate these tests according to Islamic principles can lead to dosa. He uses the analogy of a "dosa container" to illustrate how accumulated sins can lead to physical ailments, with the size of the container varying based on one's faith and piety. The video emphasizes the importance of istighfar (seeking forgiveness) as a means to cleanse oneself of sins and the need to focus on seeking forgiveness sincerely rather than expecting immediate worldly benefits.
- Marriage is full of pahala and dosa.
- Unresolved negative emotions can manifest as illness.
- Istighfar is essential for cleansing sins.
Introduction
Ustadz Dhanu greets the audience and introduces the topic of discussion, prompted by a question about a woman suffering from breast cancer despite her husband being the one with anger issues.
Pahala and Dosa in Marriage
Within a marriage, there are many rewards, but also many sins. If a husband and wife can't manage the tests in their marriage, one or both of them will accumulate sins. It's a balance. If a husband calls his wife by a name she doesn't like, and she becomes annoyed, there is no reward in that.
Emotional Expression and Illness
Ustadz Dhanu addresses the question of why the wife is sick when the husband is the one expressing anger. He explains that while it seems the emotional person should be the one getting sick, the accumulation of sins affects people differently. Those who are emotional accumulate sins, and the consequences depend on their faith.
The Analogy of the Dosa Container
Ustadz Dhanu uses an analogy of a container to explain how sins accumulate. If a person's faith is weak, the container is large, and they may not get sick often because it takes a lot to fill it. However, the sins are still there. When someone with strong faith commits a sin, their container is small, and they may get sick quickly because their container fills up faster. As people age, they may get sick more often because their container is full, or it's a reminder from Allah.
Hidden Emotions and Suppressed Anger
The wife may appear calm, but she harbors resentment towards her husband. She may not express her anger openly, but she is still affected by her husband's behavior. The woman is not ready for the tests from her husband. The wife's acts of worship are better than the husband's. Because her container is smaller, she gets sick.
Multiple Containers of Sin
There isn't a container for not sinning. There are many containers in many places. For example, if someone speaks harshly, that's one container. If someone is being flirty, that's another container. Each sin has its own container. In hell, each sin is punished individually. The wife with breast cancer is storing anger towards her husband.
Nafsu (Desires) and Self-Control
Anger, suspicion, foul language, and being easily offended are all forms of nafsu (desires). Humans have many desires that should not be deified. One should learn to control their desires by following social and family rules. Many religious teachers advise to seek forgiveness often because it makes things easier.
The Importance of Istighfar (Seeking Forgiveness)
Seeking forgiveness is a means to acknowledge mistakes and sins. It is not just about asking for forgiveness, but also about recognizing one's wrongdoings. The purpose of istighfar is for mistakes to be forgiven, not to expect something more. Seeking forgiveness is about focusing on the fact that we have sins that we don't think about, which violate Allah's commands in the Quran.
Istighfar and Rezeki (Provisions)
In Surah Az-Zariyat, it is mentioned that in the heavens is your provision and what you are promised. One of the ways to attain this is by seeking forgiveness in the late hours of the night. This means constantly seeking forgiveness, not just to get more sustenance, but because one knows they often make mistakes and sins.
Applying Lessons and Seeking Solutions
The wife is storing anger towards her husband, and the husband doesn't know he is being unfair to his wife. The wife can tell her husband that he is making her sick. The husband's anger is testing his wife. The wife should advise her husband to change and pray for him to become a righteous husband. If one is unable to do anything, they can pray to Allah. Husbands and wives test each other, often through emotions.
Conclusion
It's important to learn religious lessons so that we can experience happiness in this world and the hereafter. Husbands and wives should learn not to be emotional, egoistic, or feel superior. Only Allah is perfect. We are just ordinary people carrying out His commands.
