여자가 남자를 진심으로 사랑할 때만 나오는 행동

0:01 How should I put it, that guy? Guys in their early to mid-20s often have this bravado, and that's what I think. It’s not that the person is weird— I’m saying this because I’ve been through my early to mid-20 s—but the sooner a man drops that bravado, the better it is for his life. His eyes look sharp. Look at how he’s taking his own photo right now. I mean, can’t you feel it in his tone? I see so many KakaoTalk screenshots. The reason I say this is 100%, not even 99% , is because you can feel it just by the way a woman texts you. What does

0:48 that mean? Do you know how women who are 100%sincere send messages, even if they’ve only been dating for three months? I am a 25-year-old man. I'm submitting my story to ask for some advice. Since I turned 20, I’ve had four relationships, but all of them were short, lasting less than three months. As these relationships kept repeating, I had a lot on my mind, and after thinking about what the problem might be, I concluded that I treat my partners too comfortably, too early on. I’m wondering if this attitude is a problem, and if so, what direction I should take. Hmm, the content is very brief, so I think we’ll need to do a lot of Q&A. Were you dumped all four times? I asked to break up once, and I

1:35 was dumped three times. Have you ever asked for the reason when breaking up? I know the reason for all three times. What did they say? In my first relationship at 20, I was in a tough spot and relied on her too much, so she said she couldn't lean on me and that she only saw me as a younger brother. In my second relationship, we fought for the first time about a month in when I challenged my girlfriend to a drinking contest, and after that, I acted and spoke like a best friend, and we broke up. So that’s what "treating them comfortably" meant. That’s not treating them comfortably; it seems like he doesn't know how to date. Exactly, it’s like two extremes. In the first one, he relied on her too much, and for the second, since the first one ended that way, he thought he should let go a bit, so he went full-on "best friend" mode. There’s no middle

2:21 ground. My husband next to me is calling him a crazy guy in his dialect. I can imagine, it must be annoying as hell. My wife is watching the stream, and since the sound is on and he's only hearing it, he probably heard this and thought, "Is that guy crazy? Is that even a question?" The last one was because she values personal space and time, but I left my belongings there, and she got turned off when I ran into her acquaintance while I was at her place, so she asked to break up. But how do you run into an acquaintance while you're at home? The girlfriend must have known the acquaintance was arriving soon, right? Surely your acquaintance wouldn't just show up at your girlfriend's house without any reason? I wasn't with my girlfriend; I was alone, and I ran into the acquaintance while I was taking a

3:07 shower without saying a word. My girlfriend messaged me that they were coming, but I left my phone outside, so I didn't see the text. But if your boyfriend talks about how leaving your things there or taking a shower was stressful when you break up, it's just because he already didn't like you, so those things just became annoying. If that weren't the case, normally, a boyfriend wouldn't make such a big deal out of things like that. He just wasn't that into you from the start, and he's just using those things as excuses during the breakup. I think you should look for the reason elsewhere. The problem is that he didn't like you enough to put up with that. Right?

3:52 Could you send me a photo via chat? Hmm . If your face is covered by your phone , how am I supposed to see it? I only have photos like this. Is that so? Then take a photo of your face right now. That guy, how should I put it? Men in their early to mid-20s have this kind of bravado, and that’s what I think. I'm not saying you're weird, but I went through my early to mid-20s too, so I can tell you that the faster a guy gets rid of that pathetic ego, the more it helps in life. Oh, you took a photo just now? Wow, amazing. It couldn't have been easy to send a bare-faced photo. That's impressive. I told you to

4:39 take a photo, and you actually did and sent it. Hmm. My friend, you have sharp eyes. You're taking your own photos like this right now. This is a bit intimidating. Your gaze. You need to let go of that arrogance. You know what I mean? If you get rid of that, women will really like you. But you really don't know. I didn't know either. Only after your early to mid-30s do you start to realize. "Ah, why did I act like that back then?" That's when you start deleting the photos you posted on Instagram and cleaning up your feed. It's been about three weeks since we broke up. So, I want to get back together. Oh, it’s not that, I just feel like I need to change. Hmm. I see. Look at what the chat says. "Let's settle this with a drinking bet." This isn't something that couples absolutely shouldn't do, but something they

5:25 shouldn't even be able to say. This is the important part. What I mean by " shouldn't be able to say" is that you did something that goes completely against common sense. I mean, with what kind of mindset could you possibly do that? I often say that even for guys with a very strong regional accent, they don't use it when texting their girlfriend at the start of a relationship, asking things like "Did you eat?""What did you eat?" You wouldn't send a message like that, would you? If you ask me what the problem is, I can point to exactly one thing. And that is that there’s no consistency in how you date. What do I mean by that? When you go through your early, mid, and late twenties into your thirties, there’s a natural order to dating. You gain experience, learn from

6:12 it, repeat the same mistakes, find your footing, and eventually get it right. That’s the progression. But you’re all over the place—back and forth, up and down—I think that’s the issue. So, let’s go back to your first relationship. At 20, you were in a tough spot and relied on them too much, so they told you they couldn’t lean on you and only saw you as a younger sibling. You realized that was wrong, so you started your next relationship. Then you did a complete 180, thinking, "I messed up last time, I won't be like that again," and swung to the other extreme. For me, I had that kind of relationship at 20. And at 22, I did the exact same thing. It’s not even about "I should fix this," the thought doesn't even cross my mind. "Damn it,

6:58 if I love them, I should be able to do this much, right?" And so I kept dating the same way at 20, 21, 23, and 24. "Am I not allowed to love you?" I lean on them. I rely on them and love them just the same. Then by your mid-to-late twenties, you realize, "Wow, I was really naive in my early twenties," and you decide you shouldn't do that anymore. But you seem to have skipped that entire process. So, if you ask me, when you meet someone new, I hope you date for real and go through some real heartache. You have to go through that to finally realize how you need to change. Regarding your ex-girlfriend, from what I can see, she looks very beautiful. Comparing her to you, I'm

7:46 saying this frankly because I'm a guy. Even so, you broke up, and you don't really have thoughts of getting back together. If you say, "I just feel like I need to change," that’s at least an admission. If it were me, I’d be devastated about breaking up with a girl like that. "I shouldn't have been washing up at that time, I’m sorry I was on my phone instead." That’s what I would have said. You need to do at least that much. Seriously, that’s the only way you’ll learn something. But if you just say, "Fine, let's break up," without even knowing what you did wrong. "Ah, dumped again." If you break up like that, honestly, I feel like your emotions might be too dry. What do you think? But I did try to hold onto the last one. I tried once, but they wouldn't have it, so I let them go. How did you try to hold onto them? Are you asking if I sent a text? Yes. Hmm.

8:36 Seeing this, I understand now. Look here. I think I’m right, buddy. Alright, I’ll read it. Leaving out the name. [Name], I’ve been thinking about this since Monday, but to be honest, I was really angry back then. Living alone for so long has made my personal time and space really important, but I still enjoyed it when you visited, had drinks, and spent time together. But as you kept coming over more and more, and seeing your things piling up, I started feeling uncomfortable because my environment was changing in a way I didn't want. But the day you arrived without saying anything, just walked in and started showering, only to run into [Name] and put me in an awkward spot—that made me really angry. It hasn't been that long since we started seeing each other , but I felt like you were getting comfortable too quickly or just not

9:21 respecting basic boundaries. After that happened, I realized that I still love my alone time and value it more, so I think my feelings for you have faded quite a bit. You’ve probably sensed it this week, but I don't want to see you anymore. I'm sorry for making this decision on my own without talking to you first. It’s exam season, so study hard, and I’ll pack up your things at my place and send them to you. Just leave me your address. So, I sent it like this. Many people feel there’s nothing wrong with this message, but I think the message is very problematic. To be specific, it's not that the message itself is the problem, but it paints a picture of how the two of you must have dated for three months. When people say they dated for three months, they think three months is a short time . It’s not. In three months, you’ve seen everything, been intimate, and if you’ve been in the same house,

10:06 you’ve done it all. You should have become incredibly close. But it seems like there’s a huge wall between you and your ex-girlfriend. I mean, the way they exchange messages so formally...it feels like when you confess to a girl you like, get rejected, and then ask her to think about it one more time. Do you know what I mean? That’s the problem. So, since the woman didn't feel such burning passion for this boyfriend either, she doesn't even feel like getting back together after reading what he wrote. This is 100% certain, the person involved. Don’t you feel it in the tone? I see so many KakaoTalk screenshots, you know. I'm not saying this is 99%, but 100%,

10:53 because you can feel it just by the way she sends messages to you. What does that mean?[Name]. I’ve been thinking about this since Monday, but to be honest, I was really angry back then. Do you know how women who are 100% sincere about you send messages, even if they've only been dating for three months? "Oppa, even so," a tone like this comes out. "The day you said you were coming over," a tone like that comes out. But your ex-girlfriend isn't like that, you're cautious. How do you tell her you want to break up? You can really tell you thought hard about it before sending that. There’s only one thing you need to fix. A proper relationship. A relationship where your

11:38 true emotions burn bright. Have a relationship where she can also express her feelings freely without hesitation when she sees you. If you keep dating like this, even a year won't be enough. You're just friends. It feels uncomfortable, right? I admit it. Can you fix it? I will try. Anything else you're curious about? But it feels a bit difficult. I’m a bit scared of falling too deep. If you keep avoiding it because you're scared, it won't just be fear later, it will turn into terror . You have to overcome it regardless. Be honest with your feelings. Don’t hide them, express your feelings as they are. It’s okay to do that. For example, it’s like this. "I’m sorry .""I was selfish." Not things like that

12:24 , but what you felt at that moment. " It’s not that I’m blameless, but ending things without a word like you said at the end was pretty bewildering from my side." That’s the feeling you actually had, right? But you sugar-coated it to look like a gentleman because you thought it would be pathetic to say that when you’d already been dumped. That’s not who you are. Honestly, did you send that long message conveying exactly what you were thinking? No, you didn’t. Your real feelings were different, weren't they? Let's say going in while she was washing was a mistake. But I didn't just leave without saying anything; I told her I was leaving. I was showering and she suddenly said someone was coming, so we ran into each other. If she wants to break up over that, what am I supposed to do? You think things

13:10 like that. That’s what fighting is for. That’s what a normal relationship should be like. As you've felt lately, you want to stop seeing her. How little must she think of you to say something like that? It just means she doesn't have deep feelings for you. If you avoid getting deeply involved because you're scared, you'll keep getting dumped like this. You’re the kind of guy who can be dumped with a one-sided text message. That’s you. So, love as sincerely as you can. Passionately. Don't be afraid. Thank you. I will try my best. Good luck. Let’s have confidence. Ah, it’s been a long journey searching for the answer, but I’m glad I found it. I’ll root for you to find a good partner.