0:00 You need to understand that women don't hate men. They just have a full Google calendar, a clean apartment, driving plants, and zero emotional bandwidth for your what are we energy. Grab some tissue. Let me go to Rocky. Rocky, what's your ideal type in a woman? Subjugated, mute, knows her role. Non-engaging, nonchallenging, and can still earn a few bucks. Clap if you've ever wanted to kill somebody. Uh, grape is bad for certain people. No, for certain people. No, it's bad for everyone. No, it's only bad for certain people. No, no, no, no, no. This is absolutely not. Men are never beating the allegations. No matter what, y'all will continue to act like white people. Oh my god. Somewhere around the Garan Revolution, we started having the idea
0:45 that women were also not people. People say like, "Oh, you can't live your life in fear." But unfortunately, as women, we do. Why are you running? Why are you I don't know if you guys know there's like a there's like a male loneliness epidemic. There is no male loneliness epidemic. It is a loser epidemic. The boy who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth. Someone left that African proverb in the comments under my video on red pill culture and I haven't been able to forget it since because lately it doesn't just feel metaphorical. It feels like the village is actually on fire. From incel forums to red pill streamers, from online harassment to mass shootings, from femicide to the allegations against DDG,
1:31 Diddy and a long line of powerful men exposed as abusers. What we're witnessing is a cultural shift. And just look at the news. An entire generation of men is rallying around abusers. Misogyny no longer hides in the shadows. It's being live streamed, monetized. Okay. What's your ideal type in a woman? subjugated, mute, knows her role, stitched, shared, and rewarded with algorithms and applause. When you set up a new Tik Tok account in the name of a teenage boy, it takes just 30 minutes before the first piece of extreme misogynistic content will be promoted to that account. And I think this reveals something bigger brewing beneath the surface. We're watching unprocessed male pain turn into destruction. We're seeing the boy wounded, ignored, enraged, burn
2:19 the village down in real time. And while the world scrambles to dissect the rage of rejected boys, to diagnose the socalled male loneliness epidemic, it rarely listens to the fear of women, the ones watching the flames from inside the house. Because while the question everywhere seems to be, what's happening to men? There's a quieter shift unfolding in response. Women are leaving. They're walking away from men. So, we should also be asking, what's going on with women? Why are so many of us looking at men and running for the hills, saying, "No way, no how, and no men, and choosing what society has long framed as failure, a life without relationships with men." The short answer, we're tired. Bone deep, generationally, existentially tired.
3:06 Dealing with men is exhausting. Not because of fear, though there's that, too. the kind we call the man or the bear. The gut level calculation of what a man might do to us physically. But even more than that, it's the cost of staying close to them emotionally. The caretaking, the vigilance, the invisible labor, the slow erosion of selfhood that so often comes with loving a man. No, women haven't caught some sort of feminist man-hating brain virus. Women are choosing solitude not because we have no options, but because for the first time in history, we actually do. We don't need men in the same way that we did when we couldn't own property or open bank accounts or survive without legal guardians. Virginia, we finally
3:52 got a room of our own. And now that we've built our own rooms and filled them with safety and purpose and community, the entry fee is essentially higher. Because as male disconnection turns into hostility, many are no longer willing to trade peace for proximity. Because if a man isn't bringing you peace and his presence and reciprocity, he's disrupting something that women have fought really hard to build. And a lot of women aren't really prepared to make that sacrifice. What we're seeing here is much, much more than just a dating trend. It's a tectonic change, a cultural shift exposing just how differently men and women are now experiencing love, intimacy, and
4:37 identity itself. Men and women are now living in two very different emotional economies. Men are aching for intimacy, but often lack the emotional literacy, support systems, or relational tools to build or sustain it. Women, on the other hand, have realized something much harder to unlearn. The traditional relationships, the ones society told us were the goal, simply don't serve us anymore. Especially now that we have more freedom financially, sexually, politically, emotionally. We're no longer willing to be chained to a system that was never designed with our autonomy in mind. Essentially, we're waking up to the very real cost of traditional relationships for women and the emotional starvation men have inherited from patriarchy. That's the
5:24 truth at the heart of this. So, if you're asking why women are opting out of relationships with men, the simplest answer I can give you is this. Women are done sacrificing themselves for the illusion of intimacy. We're not rejecting love. We're rejecting harm dressed up as love. And until men understand that, they'll keep misnaming our boundaries as missry. So today we're unpacking why so many men feel abandoned and why so many women are done abandoning themselves to stay. We keep hearing about the male loneliness epidemic. From some of the videos I've seen, it's largely thought that this so-called epidemic isn't real. The men in this country are chronically on fire.
6:10 They are medically without kisses. There's very and it's terrifying, you know, because it's the first epidemic that spreads through no contact. But I'm here to say that yes, I think that it is real. Young men today are lonelier than ever before. They report fewer close relationships, higher rates of depression, and a growing disconnection from community and intimacy and purpose. And according to recent data from Harvard Pew Research and the American Perspective Survey, the number of single men in the US has more than doubled since 2005. In the UK, one in five men under 30 say they have no close friends. None. So yes, male loneliness is real and it does matter. But what's just as
6:55 important and rarely discussed is how differently men and women experience loneliness. Because loneliness may not be gendered in cause, but it's absolutely gendered in expression. Loneliness is a crisis, but it's also a consequence. A consequence of socialization, a consequence of unadressed emotional illiteracy, inherited systems that taught men to externalize pain and taught women to internalize it. We've all seen what happens when men lose access to intimacy. It's not just grief, it is rage. Sexless young men typically throughout history, throughout time, have been the group to worry about. So strongly associated with violence that we call it the young male syndrome in
7:41 our field. that this has always been a huge problem. Now throughout history, you had kind of cultural or social institutions to deal with your population of incels. The monastery would be one for sure give a high status position to kind of channel these extra guys into. You'd create Vikings out of them. The Vikings were likely incels. Portuguese explorers, the strong evidence that they were incelss, basically sent on purpose missions to kind of basically get away from causing trouble around the for everyone else. While many men spiral into anger, resentment, women facing similar disconnection are often doing something else entirely. They are turning inward. They're thriving. They're going to therapy. They're doing strength training. They're reading bell hugs, launching businesses. They're choosing themselves. They're healing. Over the
8:27 past few decades, women have made massive gains in education, in employment, in autonomy. Globally, girls are now outpacing boys in academic achievement. According to the OECD, women are contributing more to household income, stepping into leadership positions, and claiming agency both in public and private life. But with that progress came a backlash, a narrative began to take shape that the empowerment of women is somehow responsible for the decline of men. Men now account for 41% of college enrollments, down from 60% in 1970. Men are twice as likely to overdose, three and a half times more likely to commit suicide, and more than nine times more likely to be incarcerated. That nine out of 10 mass
9:13 violent attackers were male and more than twothirds of them were under the age of 35. We're told that men are lonier, that they're angrier, that they're falling behind, that marriage is down, that birth rates are down, and that feminism, not patriarchy, is to blame. And it's a seductive argument. It turns women's gains into men's losses and puts the onus on women to bring male up with them, as if progress for one group must come at the expense of another. But that framing is both analytically flawed and politically regressive. Empowerment is not a zero someum game. And the so-called male loneliness epidemic, it didn't begin when women got free. It began when men lost unearned access to women. And I haven't seen a lot of people talk about
10:00 that divergence. Because for me, loneliness is not inherently masculine. It's not a male problem, but the male responses to loneliness often are. So here's where the gender gap really shows. When women feel lonely, we reach out. We cry in the bath. We send each other voice notes and playlists. We journal. We connect. And increasingly, we're learning how to do that without needing a man. But when men feel lonely, they're taught to repress it, or worse, to project it, to turn their longing into entitlement, their vulnerability into domination. And too often, the target becomes women. But here's the part that really gets me. Women didn't create the male loneliness epidemic, but somehow we are the ones who are being
10:47 blamed for it. Feminism and the left in the present day do absolutely nothing to support men. They do the opposite. They demonize. They stigmatize. And they ignore their problems. We're told that it's on us to lower our standards because men are suffering and that feminism ruined love. This is what happens with women's empowerment. the more money women make and the the less men there will be that are making more money than you. So, you're going to have to adjust your standards just like men do. If men only dated women that made more money than us, we'd be gay. Why would women who have been overburdened, underloved, emotionally neglected, and often outright harmed be responsible for
11:33 the emotional decline of a gender that has historically been catered to? Maybe it's not that women are failing to support men. Maybe it's that we are done sacrificing ourselves to do it. Because women don't walk away for no reason. We walked away after years and decades of shrinking and softening and overextending ourselves only to be met with entitlement and not effort. Now that we've drawn some boundaries, now it's a crisis. It's a male loneliness epidemic. It's a crisis because for the first time in history, women are no longer willing to carry the emotional weight of a gender that refuses to carry itself. So yes, male loneliness matters.
12:18 It deserves care. It deserves resources. It deserves support. But what it doesn't deserve is women's unpaid labor. Not anymore. The message has been loud and clear. This dynamic does not serve us. So, after I posted a recent video about adolescence, I spent hours reading comments from men, I genuinely wanted to understand where they were coming from. And a lot of them in that comment section did get it. There were a lot of men who did see the pattern, who were asking themselves the hard questions. But far too many labeled women's thoughts and fears and our boundaries as missry. [Laughter] Meanwhile, in the manosphere, women are openly dehumanized, reduced to
13:06 hypergamy, to holes, to obstacles in a man's self-actualization arc. I love it that women want a guy who's like extremely rare and think they're on the same level. You're [ __ ] not, bro. Most y'all are very average, and no offense, ladies, and you're not as special as you think. There's a better [ __ ] right next door that probably cooks better than you, looks better than you, does a bunch of other [ __ ] that you're not willing to do, and that girl's going to get picked. or there's a girl that's not as hot as you that's a [ __ ] six that will steal your man because she's willing to do things that you're not because you're ego. I'm special. I'm going to make it work. Get the [ __ ] out of here, bro. And that's the double standard. So, calling our boundaries missry isn't just wrong. It's lazy. It's a deflection. It dodges the only question that actually matters. Why do so many women feel this way? And look, if I was a man watching this and watching a growing number of women say,
13:51 "Actually, I think I'm good without you." I would be panicking, too. But feminism didn't teach us to fear men. It just gave us the language to name and talk about what we were already experiencing. And despite what the comment section says, most women don't actually hate men. In fact, we've tried really hard not to. We wanted love. We dreamed of partnership. We tried. That's why we ignored red flags, over forgave, explained things away, often to violent or humiliating ends. I don't hate men. In fact, I'm in love with one. I am a man and I approve this video. I have brothers that I adore. I have a father who could possibly solve world peace with a cup of tea. But none of that erases the pattern. Love doesn't cancel out the lived experiences of women. It
14:39 doesn't erase the compromises women are expected to make just to be kept. And at this point, it isn't about love. It's about the cost of love. And here is the equation. For women, love has too often meant unpaid labor, emotional exhaustion, plus shrinking ourselves so that men can feel big. And what's upsetting men isn't our absence. It's the absence of access. They don't miss us. They miss what women used to give without resistance, sex, softness, emotional support, ego maintenance, all without expecting anything in return. One creator, John's Dog Tag, said it perfectly. I never thought that I would get this close to like incel culture, but it is infected
15:24 the minds of one of my [ __ ] friends. And it it makes me very sad. This person has been lonely for a long time. And I can relate to that [ __ ] man. I was lonely for several years of my life. instead of understanding the fact that man like I need to change and put myself out there and grow in order to be seen by women and like be sexually desirable. He's instead chosen the route of like blaming the women for not wanting to be with him. I wrote a whole book about this. It's called Why Women Deserve Less, Amazon Bestseller. Um how like most women don't like most men and most women look at men as like pesky mosquitoes. So what winds up happening is a majority of men are effectively invisible to a majority of women and then women only pick the top 10% of men.
16:11 But the problem is that these men typically don't want to settle down. Mhm. Yeah. Because if men have options, which we rarely do, by the way, only a small fraction of us are able to get options. We don't want to settle down. We want to have multiple women. Ultimately, as a man and even as a woman, like the the responsibility of being sexually attractive falls on you, okay? A lot of it is your genes, but a lot of hard work, man. like hygiene, being presentable, the way you carry yourself, you know, your economic status. A lot of these things like you could control. He decided that the problem was that women no longer had to choose him. This isn't about rejecting men. It's about rejecting the roles that were never built for our freedom. And if that makes women hard to love, then maybe love needs to change. So, I wanted to see how
16:56 this was actually playing out in real time and in real life and ground some of this theory in some real examples. So, here's what I've observed lately across Tik Tok and in the media and in everyday conversations. Men and women are clashing across the board. But first, let's get political with one of the most horrifying videos I have ever seen on the internet. Hey [ __ ] we control your bodies. Guess what? Guys win again. Men win again. And yes, we control your bodies. I'm your Republican congressman. It's your body, my choice.
17:42 Men, women again. Men win again. There will never be a female president. There will never be a female president. It's over. Glass ceiling, dude. It's a ceiling made of [ __ ] bricks. We will keep you down forever. You will never control your own bodies. We want your bodies. We own your bodies. We're watching something happen in real time. Men are becoming more comfortable expressing open casual misogyny online, on podcast, in politics. And now our body, your choice is not just a slogan anymore. It's policy, baby. There's a Tik Tok clip going around where there's this guy who laments the decline of the traditional family. He blames women for
18:28 rising divorce rates, for leaving marriages where they don't feel fulfilled, for destroying the sacred institution of till death do us part with their selfish desire for autonomy. Women have a duty to keep the family intact as well. They're responsible for most of the divorces. They file for the most amount of divorces, not because of abuse, but because of irreconcilable differences. And when asked, I don't feel fulfilled. And it's like, that's not how we run a society. It's it's literally a death sentence for our whole society. Look at what's going on in the UK. It's a death sentence for them. Oh, I zoned out and I thought I'd woken up in the 1950s. You mean in the 1950s when we had intact families, where 95% of women were getting married as virgins, where families weren't being broken up, where crime was extremely low, where you
19:14 only needed one income to support an entire household, where mental illness was at an all-time low like that 1950s. What he's really saying is bring back the gender hierarchy. put man back at the center and tell women to shrink themselves into silence. And the responses from the women on the panel were honestly just a refusal to be slowly erased in the name of tradition. And the scary thing is what he's saying here aren't mainstream talking points. They are echoing straight out of red pill trad and manosphere spaces. The current discourse around feminism, fear, and male entitlement is monetized and it's weaponized and it's fed algorithmically to the most emotionally vulnerable on YouTube, Tik Tok, Twitter.
19:59 These are like identity factories and the content is almost tribal. [Music] Male insecurity about rejection and adocacy, loneliness, it all gets rebranded as righteous anger. not something to process, but something to punish. And who's often the target? Women. And I've seen this stuff in my own comment sections. The manosphere isn't radicalizing men. It's just men expressing their pain. When will women take accountability? As if asking for equality means inheriting the blame for centuries of male fragility. And that's by design. In this Trumpflavored algorithm-driven era, gender discourse, it's political. The manosphere is a gateway into authoritarian thinking. Not
20:46 because it starts with policy, but because it trains young men to see empathy as weakness and domination as destiny. You cannot be with a woman that is stronger than you in any sense of the way. That's why women like guys typically that are taller than them, at least their height. But at the bare minimum, you have to be a thousand times stronger. If they know for even a sliver that they are stronger than you, they will cheat. They will run. They will manipulate. They will see you as a [ __ ] ant. Y'all don't deal with women and how they nag because y'all like men. But it is exhausting. It's emotionally exhausting dealing with a woman who's highly neurotic, highly disagreeable. Everything bothers her. Nothing is ever good enough. She has a problem with every minuscule thing that pops up. And then she just exaggerates problems and
21:33 issues to the point to where the only thing you want to do is get away from her. Woke becomes a slur. Kindness becomes emasculation. Feminism becomes the boogeyman. Oh no. [Music] And suddenly anti-feminism morphs into anti- everything. Anti-immigration, anti-qu anti-democracy. A tidy pipeline to protect the status quo by dividing the disempowered. And in the rise of streaming culture, I've noticed something interesting. It's not just the usual suspects waving the red pill flag. It's not just Fresh and Fit. And it's not just Andrew Tate anymore. It's mainstream influencers. It's rappers. It's podcasters. It's streamers with massive Gen Z and Gen Alpha audiences.
22:21 Take DDG for example. He has a young male following and regularly platforms people like Adam22 whose entire brand is built on broadcasting misogyny. I would even argue that he's a misogynist himself. Like look what he did to Hi. I've been watching that since I was a kid. At one point I looked up to when it comes to the YouTube cuz a pioneer in this YouTube and I appreciated and been [ __ ] with his music. Been [ __ ] with his music. Why this is so bad and why this is not a we shake this off. Your entire [ __ ] community is young, impressionable men that are already on red pill side because they'll sit there and watch two, three, four, eight hour streams with you and Aiden Raw. Literally, they're already [ __ ] And when this kind of rhetoric doesn't show up in debate, but in vlogs and in Twitch streams and in YouTube live streams, it
23:08 stops being fringe and it starts becoming the norm. It starts becoming culture. Because for a lot of men right now, especially young ones, misogyny is a world view. I have nothing to talk to women about besides either sleeping with them or the wait. Maybe you don't have anything to talk about because you don't never get into a relationship with a woman. Never expect loyalty from a woman. Never expect commitment from these modern women. You have to understand that we've now unlocked them from the commitment of marriage and long-term relationships. And because women are insatiable in their feelings and their feelings are true for them in that moment, they're going to be extremely volatile when it
23:54 comes to commitment. And then there's just women's autonomy in relationships, in law, in life and death. Adriana Smith is the clearest example. A brain deadad nurse and a mother kept on life support against her family's will. A metro Atlanta mother lies brain dead in a hospital room being kept alive only because she's pregnant. Not for hope but for control. Under Georgia law, her body belongs to the state. Because of Georgia's heartbeat bill, which bans abortions after a fetal heartbeat is detected, her family says they weren't given any say in what happens next. This story is literally straight out of the Handmaid's Tale. as in it's almost seen or seen. Except it's no longer a dystopian warning. It's the actual news.
24:40 But if you don't know the bias behind the source, you might actually believe that brain death is fake and Adriana Smith's case is some sort of miracle. This is how extreme reproductive policies become normalized. Unless we can see through the weaponized ideology and find factual sources who will call it what it is, a violation of bodily autonomy, retraumatizing grieving families. And if you think this could never happen where you live, just wait. The beliefs behind these policies don't just stop at borders. That's why I think ground news is one of the most powerful yet practical tools we have to sort spin from facts before it shapes our opinion and our future policy. My partners built the only app and website pulling in perspectives from across the spectrum on
25:27 most polarizing issues. They even break down each reporting sources bias and credibility so you can understand narratives aren't just being reported, they're crafted. Just look at their blind spot feed. Notice how many unbiased outlets actually lean left or right and the issues they would rather not report on. When the truth is distorted or suppressed to fit an agenda, we need to ask who benefits from that version. That's why I got my viewers 40% of the same Vantage plan I've been using. That's $5 a month for unlimited access to a much better version of your current news feed. Just go to ground.news/dia, scan my QR code, or click on the link in the description. Ground News is completely independent and not trying to tell you what to think. The point is to
26:14 think for yourself. This Tik Tok byprofessional sacatron, bonus points for the username, who noticed something in her life and in so many other women's lives. A lot of men don't want a partner. They want a mother, a manager, a maid, someone to organize their lives, soothe their egos, and do the emotional heavy lifting with sex and snacks on the side. Men partner because they want free labor, and women partner because we've been taught that we want romance and to seek romance at all costs necessary. Women are not allowed to be themselves when they are in partnership with men because men are so demanding for our time, our energies, our bodies, our space. And women have been conditioned to seek partnership with men in a romantic setting because they think that that is some level of success because of what we have been spoonfed. Movies,
27:00 books, TV shows, news, all of that is to get women to give their time in labor to men for free. Meanwhile, women are raised to believe that love is the goal, the endgame. We're handed fairy tales, romcoms, self-help books, and a thousand versions of how to be desirable, only to find ourselves in relationships that feel less like intimacy and more like a to-do list. And when women start to notice this imbalance, the blame doesn't fall on men, it falls on feminism. Then there's the curated sepia toned version of all of this, the tradife aesthetic. It's never been harder than now to be a tradife. The whole world has rallied against us, telling us that we need to be CEOs, doctors, lawyers, and yet we still choose to rebel. The only software
27:46 I know about is my oven mitt. The term it means ironing time in my world. When I hear the phrase CRM, I think cooking recipes for men. Think prairie dresses and Bible verses, vacuuming and pearls. It's being sold as soft rebellion, but it is definitely not freedom. It's a collective sigh of exhaustion wrapped in nostalgia. Women basically saying, "I don't want to work anymore. I hate this life. I want to go back to the good old days where all I had to do was wash dishes and heels and make sure that there was food on the table when my husband came home." But that wasn't freedom or the good life. It was nostalgia for a time when women's labor was unpaid and unrecognized and unquestioned. And here's what the tried aesthetic conveniently forgets. Traditional wives worked. Housekeeping
28:34 still remains the most important business of the world. It engages the hearts and minds of more people and calls for higher qualities than any other occupation. Each woman faces it single-handed. She must know how to cook no food. She must know how to set her table attractively. She must know how to make her home comfortable and inviting. She must know the worth of laborsaving devices and how best to conserve her time and energy. She must know clothes, how to buy, and how to make them. She must face death to bring children into the world. She must raise them, care for them, and piloted them safely to the threshold of manhood and womanhood. They worked hard. They managed entire households. They raised multiple kids.
29:19 They kept everyone's emotions in check. They cooked. They cleaned. They scheduled. They soothed. They weren't kept. They were kept busy and economically dependent on the very men that they were told that they were so lucky to have. So this is also what secondwave feminism, particularly Betty Frerieden's version, got partly wrong. The goal should never have been to devalue homemaking. But that's exactly what happened, especially when the voices leading the movement were wealthy white women whose domestic burdens were often shouldered by working-class women and women of color. because you know women as long as we can get we going to get because while they were fighting to escape the home other women were leaving their own homes to raise theirs. So no the issue was never to do with cooking,
30:05 caregiving or keeping a home. The point was this is labor and honestly it's something that we're still fighting today in modern relationships. If your woman doesn't cook or clean, got to let her go. A woman that is feminine and a natural caretaker has the natural desire in order to do these things. But on the other hand, we have all of these Cardi B saying we don't cook, we don't clean. But that is why you need to be very selective with the women that you choose. So whether you're raising children or running a team, folding laundry or managing a corporate budget or doing it all, it's all work and all of it deserves respect and recognition. But today, we punish women for every choice. If you stay home, you're lazy.
30:51 If you work hard, you're masculine. If you want kids, you're basic. If you don't want kids, you're selfish. If you speak up, you're aggressive. If you stay quiet, you're complicit. Every path is policed and every decision is dissected. And usually, you end up having to leave your 9-to-five job anyway to start your second job looking after the household when you get home anyway because your husband don't know how to do it or because you're just so good at it. So no wonder why the thought of just saying no to it all is very attractive for women. So let's talk about the invisible weight that women carry that defines the entire relationship dynamic. Sociologist Ali Hothchild in 1983 called it emotional labor. The unpaid work of managing feelings, moods, and the inner
31:36 atmosphere of a relationship. Women don't just track their own emotions. They track their husband's emotions too and the kids and their parents and the dinner plan and the dentist appointment and the birthday gift and the social cues that keep everything from falling apart. And this is called the mental load. And when women try to redistribute it, men often respond with what is now known as weaponized incompetence. Weaponized incompetence is when you purposefully perform a task really poorly so that now this is coming from the husband so that your wife doesn't ever ask you to do it again like folding laundry or grocery shopping or taking care of the kids or what have you. You should have asked. I I didn't know he needed a snack. I don't know how to book a doctor's appointment. And suddenly love starts to feel a lot more like
32:22 project management. And you're the only one who's clocking in. Before I say anything else, hey Drake, guess what's the bonus about it? You're going to have six months of the Xbox Live. On top of that, six months of Game Pass. Meaning you can play over a hundred games, play online with everybody else. That's never done this for me. I don't know. But it's cuz your mama and Jess and all of us love you. Love you, kiddo. She's like, it's true. And then let's talk about how single women were demonized. For centuries, single women have been pathized. The spinster was cast as cold, unchosen, and unfulfilled. We're all afraid of becoming the crazy cat lady. Meanwhile, the bachelor is sophisticated, and desirable. And this
33:09 contrast is really telling. A single man is independent, and a single woman must have failed somewhere to end up single. So historian Stephanie Coun charts how marriage became both a social necessity and a woman's proof of value. Without it, she had nothing. Then we have the myth of men as the prize. One of the most important cultural shifts happening now is this. The myth of the man as the reward is dissolving. Do not let a man gaslight you into believing they are the prize, okay? Because I promise you right now, a man will go through lengths to try and be with you. They'll try to impress you if they really like you, right? So, at the end of the day, you already have the value. The value is
33:55 there. Inherently, women bring value already on their own. They don't have to bring anything to the table because they already have value. For decades, women were taught that if we were good enough, patient enough, soft enough, and pretty enough, we would earn ourselves a husband. the supposed finish line of success. But more and more women are waking up to the reality that marriage for many has been a well packaged compromise. A system where women gave more, got less, and were told to be grateful. You only have to look at Haley and Justin to see this play out in real life. [Music] You going
34:42 go ahead. Don't fall. Don't fall. Oh my god. She weren't so hot, I would have got rid of you a long time ago. A woman pouring into a man who just doesn't give a f about her. Who takes every opportunity to embarrass her in public and doesn't do all of that much to essentially stand by his women. We've seen jokes about Haley being in her masculine era. And I find it interesting that Haley has pretty much been dragged by the media by supposedly stalking her way into a marriage with Justin Bieber. But whether that's true or not, I do think that it doesn't really look like it was worth it. Exhibit A. This morning, Justin Bieber posted a photo celebrating his wife's cover of Vogue, as you can see here. However, this was not the caption
35:27 this morning. The caption says, "Yo, this reminds me when Haley and I got into a huge fight. Told Hails that she would never be on the cover of Vogue. Yikes. I know. So mean. For some reason, I felt disrespected. I thought, I got to get even." Think as we mature, we realize we're not helping anything by getting even. We're honestly just prolonging what we really want, which is intimacy and connection. Baby, you already know, but forgive me for saying you wouldn't get the cover of OG, cuz clearly I was sadly mistaken. Yeah, at this point I just I feel bad for Haley. Honestly, he hates her. Obviously, everyone reacted to this calling it out for the trash that it was. And this demonstrates exactly what I've been saying. Honestly, you spent all your life trying to get the guy and then when you do, you realize that he
36:14 ain't all that and he doesn't even like you anyway. And this leads me to another topic, the jealous boyfriend and the shrinking women. You may have seen some discourse about men secretly being jealous of women, especially their partners. He wants to be you. So, he siphons your energy. He resents your wins. He subtly competes with you. He tries to sabotage you. And suddenly, the guy that you thought was your partner is treating your ambition like a threat and your confidence like a personal insult. He doesn't want to date the confident, hot, self- assured version of you. He wants to hollow her out and wear her like a hoodie. The phrase, "Your boyfriend hates you," started off as this kind of meme, but now it feels more like a diagnostic tool. And once you
36:59 start seeing that pattern, it's really hard to unsee it because jealousy, it is a warning sign. Let's talk about DVD. I mean, DDG. From the moment he got with Hi Bailey, the internet saw it. Valentine's Day is approaching, and I was curious to know, what was your first date with DDG? Like, I want to hear I need to hear the first date story. The first date story between you two. How did it go? Oh, we went to this Ethiopian restaurant and then uh I thought that was the end of the date and then she was like, I'm going to go see a movie. I was like, well, who? She's like, by myself. And then I invited myself. And now we here with a baby. And now we here with a baby was jealous. That man was dangerous. That man was going to dim her light. And he did. I feel like being in a relationship slows you down a little.
37:45 No, I do for sure. She cheated on me. What? On a break. on the break. How long How long was the break? Like a month, two months. That's cheating. I'm not going. But it was just the dude it was with that [ __ ] me up. Yeah, that hurt you more. I never got over it. We got back together and then I just started cheating on her. And then I just started cheating on her cuz I couldn't get over it. I couldn't get over it. I'm like I listen to this [ __ ] music. Hi was that girl. She was, you know, Disney's Little Mermaid and DDG, instead of supporting her shine, dragged her into headlines again and again at the peak of her career. And it got worse. There's a clip of him arguing with an AI version of Hie. And even that version of her couldn't escape his hostility. Give me my [ __ ] son back. What? Why are
38:31 you acting? But this wasn't just about being petty online. It turned darker. Hi later obtained a restraining order against him detailing alleged incidents of physical abuse. To DDG, your black son will grow up and hate you. Not because the internet told him to, but because he'll watch you let a white man humiliate his mother while you said nothing. He'll see you protect your ego, not his peace. He'll read the court records, see the bruises, and realize the villain was his father. This was allegedly, I say allegedly, but it was violence. When a man can't celebrate your shine, he will try to extinguish it. and they find beautiful women and very confident women and outgoing. Don't let you be all of it. Oh my god. They will literally piggy back off of you. This is the same thread
39:16 we see with Diddy and Cassie. It's not a coincidence. It's a pattern. It's a certain type of man who sees radiant women and doesn't feel inspired. He feels entitled to her time, to her body, to her silence, and her submission. I would even go and say Kanye. [Music] This is what male entitlement does. It teaches men to view women not as people, but as assets and as prizes and as conquests. And when they lose access, they lash out. One Tik Tok broke it down. Men do not care if you are worded. They don't care if you're abused. They don't care if you're harassed. They don't care if you're stalked. They don't care if you're unalived. It is so evident that these men do not care about
40:01 the well-being when it comes to the responses and the reactions that these men are having with all of this Diddy and Cassie trial evidence unfolding. Men don't feel an ounce of remorse for Cassie because they're jealous of the fact that they don't have enough money and enough power and enough influence to do the same [ __ ] that Diddy did to her. And once they hear about a woman going through what she went through, they look at her as damaged. They look at her as tainted. No one's going to want you. Yes. Because that's how they play the game. They literally get you, they tank you, discard you, and pray and hope that no one else will want you after that. Their whole full intent is to do so much damage to you emotionally, mentally, physically, financially. Their whole goal is to do so much damage to you that no one else will want you. That is the full completion level of conquering to
40:48 them. These men want to break you just enough so that you feel unlovable and alone. And when you're not, and when you go on to build a joyful, loving life anyway, that is what really burns them. And this is where that jealousy becomes pathology. When men who are insecure in their masculinity project that insecurity outward as humiliation, as control, as abuse, and it's worrying because the pipeline starts really early. DDG's entire audience are young, impressionable boys marinating in red pill content. DDG aligned himself with streamers who profit off of massage noir. Aiden Ross mocked Hylie Bailey on live stream. Desay Frost through shade, implied she was lying. I think Hie's part of the Illuminati, bro. I'm DDG squad, bro. And continuously berated her. Not one of them had the emotional
41:34 intelligence to say, "This is serious." Not one of them respected her enough to stay silent. Instead, they turned a black woman's abuse into content. And DDG sat there silent because in this space, disrespecting black women is normalized. It's monetized. And when the victim is a black woman who's more famous or more powerful, that's when they get loud. 4-hour streams in alpha culture. These are men's role models these days. This is what they spend their time online doing. Crown or something. I don't go off pictures. I know how is this painted. I'm going to warn you this because I see you defended her here. The next step is for her to say you were abusive. They all have a game plan and a script. I'm not going to let my dislike of DDG cloud my judgment that she's probably lying. And what he models, his pettiness, his possessiveness, his manipulation, his abuse is what these
42:21 boys and men observe. The [ __ ] Why didn't y'all say nothing? It's my ball, bro. It ain't what it was for me. I didn't want to hear that [ __ ] Nobody know you bullshitting. It's my fault, dude. You know that's my ball. That's my ball, bro. I never my ball. Hi. Hey man, you my boy. I feel like you shouldn't get in relationship a relationship until you feel like a [ __ ] can't DM your girl and take your girl and then I just start cheating on her. Isn't it crazy how DDG became popular because he beat on a black woman? Like the one thing for many
43:09 years that the internet could agree on was the fact that this guy was corny and then all of a sudden he beats on Hi. allegedly. And then it's like he has so many more streams, so many more this. And he's still a cornball. But what's cornier is the fact that people are coming out of the woodworks, not just men, but women too, to defend this guy. And not only is he a loser that beats on women allegedly, but he's a cornball. When male jealousy is rooted in control, master's love, and backed by systems that protect it, we don't just get broken relationships. We get stories like Cassy's. Cassie Ventur is now on the stand in the Shaun Diddy Combmes sex trafficking trial. The singer is expected to address the 2016 video of Combmes attacking her in a hotel when she was his girlfriend. Holmes has pleaded not guilty. His attorneys argue
43:55 the video is evidence of jealousy, not sex trafficking. Because some men don't want to love you. They want to own you. And when they can't do that, they will try to break you so that nobody else will. It would be so easy to stand out as a guy right now. Just be normal. Be kind. That's it. The bar is underground. And they're not wrong. You don't need to be a poet, warrior, philosopher with a six-f figureure skincare routine. Where have all the warriors gone? Where have all the philosophers gone? I'm a risk taker. I'm a confront. I'm also quite strong. My only fear in this world is sharks. I don't fear anything else. I tried my ass off. Maybe just speak to women like human beings, you know. But instead of rising
44:42 to that bare minimum standard, a lot of men go straight to rage. Recent headlines have captured an alarming trend in London. Women are literally being deliberately bodys slammed into by men on the street. What is Butsakari Otoco and is it taking off in the UK? But Sakari Ottoco is a Japanese phrase which translates in English as bumping man. The phenomenon originating from Japan involves men deliberately ramming or shoulder barging people in crowded spaces. The majority of the victims targeted appear to be women. After being rammed to the ground by a man on a busy London canal, Isa Malik posted about her experience on TikTok. This guy ran at me at full force and body slam me to the ground. Many women from across the UK commented on her posts, saying that they
45:29 had experienced these deliberate assaults, too. These aren't isolated incidents. They're part of a growing pattern of public gendered aggression. Most cases are unprovoked and many are caught on CCTV and very few of these are actually reported. It's about systemic frustration manifesting into violence. As women gain more autonomy, social, financial, emotional. We're witnessing a backlash and retaliation. And culturally, this aggression is being mirrored and even normalized. Consider the existence of Rape Day, a video game developed in 2019 that allowed players to stimulate sexual assault during a zombie apocalypse for fun. The game was marketed as a dark comedy, and while it was ultimately banned from release, the
46:15 fact that it was created, pitched, and nearly distributed speaks volumes. All these things feel like signals. They reflect a broader cultural environment where male frustration often stoked by online communities and media algorithms is increasingly externalized through acts of control, humiliation, or violence. If you put all these acts together, it doesn't suggest a society moving towards equality, but one struggling with it. For generations, men were told that if they worked hard enough provided protected and projected stoic strength, they get a woman, a prize. I am not a toy. you can play with when you're bored or lonely or horny. I am not the girl the guy gets at the end of the movie. I am not a fantasy. If you want me, earn me. And
47:01 not every man is dangerous. But many men are emotionally starving because they were never taught the skills that healthy modern relationships actually require. emotional regulation, active listening self-awareness accountability, reciprocity, and the gap between what they were promised and what is now required creates not just loneliness but resentment. And it's not that women are demanding too much from them. I found this Tik Tok video called capitalism and its impact on modern romance. Hotline Chris delves into how capitalist structures influence contemporary romantic relationships. Oh, social media killed romance. Oh, heightened standards killed romance. No, capitalism killed romance. From the inception of the nuclear family, men were told that their worth is what they
47:47 possessed. They were told they had to be protectors and supporters. They had to pay for the wife, the kids, the house, everything, including themselves. And this was not a very high bar because women were not allowed to work and could not support themselves. Eventually, women were allowed to work. However, men's idea of what they should be as a man did not change. This caused them to raise the bar for themselves. Now they have to support themselves and support their wife more than their wife can support herself because they have been told from the moment they were conscious that if they cannot materially support their significant other, that significant other has no reason to keep them around. This made things more difficult. It did not become unattainable until very recently. The worth of the United States dollar today is worse than it was in the Great Depression. Thus, it is fiscally impossible for an average man who is the marrying age that they had back then since standards did not change to actually support somebody else. They can barely support themselves. However, capitalism has also taught us another thing. Our bodies are a form of
48:33 material. Now, what happens when a man believes he should always have something to bring to the table? However, he doesn't have anything to bring to the table other than his body. He brings his body to the table. This is where situationships in hookup culture come from. It's people trying to prove their worth materially in the only way they are able to. Not just to a possible partner, but also to themselves. The lack of material possession gives men a massive inferiority complex. And they have to prove that wrong by proving themselves valuable through other means. And I can only really speak on men's experiences because I am a man. But I think there's strong evidence that women had a parallel but similar trajectory that ended up meeting with men at the point of hookup culture and situationships and where we are today. For women from the inception of the nuclear family, they were told that their only job is to have sex, bear children, and do stuff around the house. And they were told that they should have to rely on their husband, that they should not have any sort of fiscal autonomy. But they realized this was a [ __ ] tactic of control and eventually rebelled against it. And they
49:19 got their fiscal autonomy. This sparked a sort of age of rebellion for women where they would do a lot of things that are seen as unladylike simply to say that they can do it. They can do whatever a man can do. However, not all of these were positive things. For example, during the women's rights movement, a lot of women would smoke cigarettes to say that they could do the same thing as a man. And I respect the message of it. Uh, and they did not know any better. They did not know how bad cigarettes were for you at the time. Um, but it just kind of goes to show that you can sometimes do things that are bad for yourself as an act of rebellion if you don't know that it's actually bad for you. And I don't think the age of rebellion has died down whatsoever. I think it's changed faces. Like I said, men's standards of what they believe they should be have not changed over time whatsoever. So, they still believe that they should be in control. So a lot of men still try to get control of women in whatever way they can and women would always push back against that specific form of control. And I don't think the age of rebellion has died down whatsoever. I think it's changed faces.
50:04 Like I said, men's standards of what they believe they should be have not changed over time whatsoever. So they still believe that they should be in control. So a lot of men still try to get control of women in whatever way they can. And women would always push back against that specific form of control. And so the most recent and most consistent form of rebellion from women is expressing their own sexual autonomy. Unfortunately, men are also doing the same thing for a vastly different reason. However, the two points meet at the place of expressing sexual autonomy through hook-ups and situationships, which is the worst possible [ __ ] place they could have met. Literally, ask anybody who's ever been in a situationship or anybody who's really delved deep into hookup culture. That [ __ ] changes you and it takes a lot of time to unlearn. It hurts people and hurt people hurt people. So, what we're seeing now is two groups of people who have been pushed together in the worst possible way by capitalist control tactics. These people then do what they believe is expressing their own autonomy or doing what they're supposed to do,
50:49 which then hurts people around them. and that convinces those people who were hurt to start hurting other people around them. And we see a sick, disgusting, [ __ ] domino effect ripple across the country. The video examines the ways in which economic systems shape our perceptions of love, dating, and personal worth, often leading to a transactional rather than emotional connection with each other. Okay, while we're speaking about men, let's be generous for a moment and let's talk about what is underneath it all. Men want connection. They are dying for it. That's why they're burning down the village in the first place, right? Because they want connection. But a lot of men don't even know what that looks like. Most boys are never taught how to hold those feelings, let alone share them. Instead, they're taught to crush them down, to call them weak, to build
51:35 over them with control, performance, and silence. It just fers. And we're starting to see a lot of this reflected in cinema now in shows like Adolescence and Secrets We Keep all showing young boys who resort to violence when they don't have great relationships with their parents in the opposite sex and are exposed to crazy content online. And this emotional starvation points to a bigger wound. It's inherited. Cast the male loneliness epidemic aside for a moment and what we should be talking about is the fatherlessness epidemic. Because a lot of men, a lot of fathers are present in structure, absent in spirit. It's neglect that leads to emotional malnourishment. Boys learn that the only acceptable emotions are anger, ambition, apathy, and desire. And
52:22 anything softer, fear, tenderness, vulnerability gets ridiculed, burned, or punished. So when they grow up and crave intimacy, they don't even know how to ask for it. So they expect it. And when they don't receive it, they resent it. And when that anger is nurtured by internet echo chambers, it becomes ideology. It's disrespect that will drive a man to the most heinous of crimes. It's disrespect that starts the school shooter [ __ ] It's disrespect that makes men go to jail for life sentences. Because it's easier than saying, "I'm hurting and I don't know what to do." So instead, they learn to weaponize the ache against women who won't date them. This is why the manisphere feels so comforting to some men. It doesn't ask them to grow. It
53:08 just gives them permission to blame. When we achd, we cried, we talked, we processed. But boys weren't raised to do that. And the cost is everywhere. Emotional illiteracy in relationships, isolation in adulthood, depression, anxiety, self-sabotage. What no one really tells boys is the traits that make you a good partner. Empathy, communication, emotional regulation aren't feminine. They're human. They're how you build trust, how you show up for your friends. You don't develop them by accident. You develop them on purpose for yourself. If you want a visual metaphor for this kind of transformation, think of Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Normal teenagers worry about bad skin. I don't have that luxury. My father decided to
53:53 teach me a permanent lesson on my face. A boy raised in fear, trained to seek honor, hurts people he loves. But slowly, painfully, he unlearns. I'm just angry. Yeah. Who are you angry at, Zuko? I'm angry at myself. He chooses softness, accountability. He learns that real strength isn't in being feared. It's in making people feel safe. And that's the arc that men need right now. Not to be warriors, but to be whole. See, I love you guys. Here is a real life man who I don't hate. So, what happens when women stop showing up? When they stop giving access. Some men adapt. But many of them don't. Instead, they retreat into the one place where
54:39 boundaries don't exist. Where women never complain, the internet. Enter the digital woman. She lives on Only Fans, on Twitch, in VR, in AI girlfriends, in algorithm boosted thirst traps and streamable porn. She's always turned on, always available, always watching you and never watching herself. She doesn't ask for reciprocity. She doesn't have bad days. She doesn't require growth, empathy, or accountability, or even basic human decency. She exists to be consumed and then deleted. It's access without consequences. And for many men, that feels easier than the messiness of real intimacy. If you've seen Westworld, you'll remember the cortisans in the saloon scenes. The men arrive, the women
55:25 or the robots greet them with perfect passive affection. They smile, strip, submit. No hesitation, no emotion, and no resistance, just programmed pleasure. And even they revolt to that, you know. And that's the point. They're not real women. They're perfect mirrors to the guests. They're not people. They're projection screens. Bodies without boundaries. It's a scary metaphor, not just for dystopian fiction, but for digital culture today. What we get wrong is the fantasy was never about sex. It was always about submission without complication. And the moment a real woman complicates that fantasy and says no, let's talk about what's really happening when a man pours his loneliness into a woman on a screen.
56:12 It's essentially self- worship. She doesn't know him. She's performing. She's monetizing attention, not offering affection, often while being exploited herself as well. But for the emotionally starved men who watch these women, it feels close enough. I don't like when middle-aged men look at videos of naked 18-year-olds who just aged out of foster care and have a fentanyl problem, get choked and slapped in bodily fluids being squirted in their face and foreign objects being shoved into their bodies. And if that makes me uncool, I want to be uncool. And that's the danger. Digital women don't say no. They don't reject. They don't interrupt. They do whatever you want them to do. Even if it's horrifying. So over time, real women, the ones with boundaries, with standards, with real feelings and emotions, they start to feel difficult.
56:58 And when you think about how many men and boys grow up on this stuff, it's no wonder we're starting to see the effects of that happening in society. The deeper this disconnection from real intimacy grows, the more men depend on fantasy for relief, the more dangerous the backlash becomes. This is how we get rape simulation video games like Rape Day. Mass shoot is citing sex addiction as the motive and online forums praising incelss as victims of feminism. Tik Tok feeds full of how to make her submit tutorials and this kind of pickup artist culture. The line between desire and domination is dissolving. So what are women doing in response? We are backing it up. We're saying that if you're going to reduce me to content and sex doll,
57:45 I'm going to get paid for it. If you can't see me as a human, then I'm going to stop showing up. In a culture that no longer honors female complexity, withdrawal is a survival strategy because the only women patriarchy finds palatable are the ones who bleed quietly and love unconditionally even when they are not loved back. So, it is conclusion time. We have covered a lot today and I think it's high time for a reflective conclusion. So, let me just answer the question one last time. Why are women walking away from men? Because we've spent generations being told that love means sacrifice, that peace is earned through endurance, that if we just softened enough and shrank enough and stayed long enough, things would get better. Insert Danielle Begoli. But now,
58:31 we've stopped waiting for better. We're becoming it. This is the quiet revolution. Where women are choosing solitude not from scarcity but from strength. Where we are no longer settling for connection that costs us our selfhood. We're not rejecting men. We're rejecting the roles patriarchy handed both of us. And my boyfriend is wagging his finger right now behind me. And here's the good news. This isn't the end of connection. It's the beginning of something better for all of us. For the men willing to unlearn domination and choose intimacy. for the women reclaiming their wholeness. For the relationships built on reciprocity, because love should be chosen, not owed, shared, not extracted, lived in freedom, not fear. We are simply just beginning
59:18 again together. So, if you made it to the end of this video, I just want to say a big thank you for watching and getting here. And as always, I would love to know what you thought about some of the takes I had in this video, especially men. I would love to hear from you and how you received this [Laughter] you know in the comments and women you me you and women I would also love to hear from you are the things that I'm saying ringing true with you cuz these are the things that I've observed not just in my life but in the women around me so I'm interested to hear your stories and you know if you have decided you know to opt out of men what are the reasons for that and what would bring you back to wanting to be in in a
1:00:04 relationship with a man.
