0:00 Have you ever noticed that the people you are the least attached to liking you might like you or chase you the most? And what if you could learn how to completely transform your energy from the inside out to have other people chase you energetically because of how you are showing up. One thing that blocks so many people from having love chase them is that they have patterns that actually repel the chasing from happening. So if you were to have certain patterns like for example people pleasing and what happens is subconsciously you are trying to please other people what is happening is by trying to please them what you are doing
0:47 is you are trying to subconsciously manipulate them into validating you. And this is what a lot of people don't realize is that when you have an agenda with anybody else in your life, you are resisting them actually being able to choose you or them from actually being able to chase you. So, something that a lot of people don't realize is the reason they're not creating the energy of magnetic energy that has people chasing them is because they subconsciously are attached to patterns under the surface that are literally repelling away that very thing that they want. So, when you think about it, even from like the nice guy persona for
1:32 example, and notice that I said nice guy persona because it's not actually real. When you think of magnetic energy, realize when you are being the most real you and you are expressing how you really feel, there's a certain level of congruent energy there that people can feel. It energetically tells the other person this is a safe person. This person is sane and how their body is is in alignment. How they think, act, and feel is in alignment. That feels safe to me. But when you think of the nice guy persona, remember it's a persona. It's this image of being nice, of being a good person, of easing the tension. There's something that feels off about that. And what happens is that nice guy
2:21 persona, that energy is actually manipulative in its nature. It wants something from the external. It wants someone else's validation and approval. And because it wants something, it's being a certain way that's performative in order to get a certain result. And that literally is repelling people and deep connections from coming into their life because they're not actually being them real selves. They're having this persona of who they think they need to be in order to receive love, approval, and validation. You know, I remember this. What's coming to my mind right now is this pop culture thing from this show called Love is Blind on Netflix. And from the most recent season, there was this one guy. I
3:07 think his name was Edmmond. And he was this guy that was like basically in this inner child wounding that was coming up where he was with this woman that had more masculine energy than him even. And she was wanting this guy to like basically be in his own masculine frame. And he was so frustrated with himself where he he has this moment that's become a meme all over social media where he's just like I'm just too nice. He actually says it like that. He goes, "I'm being too he's like I'm just too nice." And it was this like thing that ended up getting clipped all over social media. But he was frustrated because he's just he it's so true. He's being too nice. But the subconscious thing he doesn't see is that his niceness is who he thinks he is when it's not who he is. It's a pattern. It's an adaptive pattern
3:55 where he is actually isn't standing up for himself. And because he's not standing up for himself, his woman or the woman he was dating or on the show with was feeling not safe. There's an inongruence from what he's saying and how he's actually showing up. And there's unprocessed childhood energy there that's literally blocking the true, deep, authentic version of himself from actually coming out. And this is something that's subconscious and that some people just aren't even aware of. Now, the nice guy or the peopleleasing patterns literally repel love and connection because it's not congruent to authenticity. It's a persona. It's a um an act that's
4:42 been putting out that's simply an unhealed childhood pattern from as a kids where if you had to be people pleasing or nice as a kid, there's a pattern there where you're trying to manage and fix other people and it's not attractive to try to fix or manage other people's tension. So very often people will find themselves in dynamics where they are repelling love from their lives, not realizing that one of the reasons they're repelling that love is because they're not being their true selves. They're not being authentic and vulnerable. They're not expressing how they really feel. So what they end up doing is because they're living in a persona and because they're literally
5:27 lying to themselves and rejecting themselves, other people reject them as a reflection. So when it comes to chasing energy, realize one of the reasons you might be repelling love and literally repelling the thing that you want and the reason people aren't chasing you is because you're too busy chasing validation and approval. You are chasing validation and approval in other people. And therefore, anything you chase, you are also energetically saying you don't have it inside of yourself. Because in order to get that validation and approval, you have to abandon yourself to get it. And abandoning yourself is a
6:13 sure way to repel love and connection. It's a sure way to not have magnetic energy. So when we talk about attractive magnetic energy, realize the degree to which you have attractive magnetic energy is the degree to which you aren't abandoning yourself. It's the degree to which you don't have an agenda for other people. It's the degree to which you're not trying to manage what other people think and feel about you. It's the degree to which you're not trying to fix other people. is the degree to which you are owning your energy and you're focused on being congruent inside of yourself. And as you're congruent inside of yourself, what you'll find is that if other people like you or not, it's not your thing to manage.
6:59 This was something that I had to learn growing up because not even growing up, but even as an adult, I had to realize years ago when I went through this transformation, I became aware that the very pattern that I thought was going to get me what I wanted was actually blocking what I wanted. Because think about how twisted the perspective is for the people pleaser or the nice guy. The belief is if I please you, if I do what you want me to do, if I give you what you want, if I provide everything that you've ever wanted, then what you're going to do by being nice is you're going to do whatever I want you to do. Literally, it's an energy exchange. So, if I am nice and I give, I'm going to
7:46 buy you flowers. And it's not buying you flowers because I'm being kind. It's buying you flowers literally because you're going to do something for me. I'm going to give you compliments not because it's authentic, kind, and something that's actually just coming authentically because there's an attachment to an outcome. And if you don't give me that outcome, then I will be resentful and angry on the inside. But I'm not going to tell you because if I tell you, I'm going to have you're going to have tension and then you're my job is to then ease your tension. So very often what happens is this trap with the nice guy or the peopleleaser persona where you literally have this fairy tale Disneyland idea in your mind that what's going to happen is I'm going to give to you. I'm going to please. I'm
8:32 going to buy you a drink. I'm going to do all of these nice things and then you're just going to just lay it out for me and give it to me. But what happens is it actually has the repellent effect. It literally is signaling to the other person when it's connected to an agenda. It's signaling to this person you're overcompensating for something. What are you overcompensating for? Why are you trying to perform so much? And that is actually repellent. It's like somebody that's just trying to give give. What about this? What about this? Trying to help you help you help you. and you're like, "Okay, there's it's like this." You can tell that this person might be taking and being this way because they may not feel worthy or
9:18 safe about themselves. So, they're trying to give. And eventually, there are some people that will just absorb that energy and be like, "Okay, I'll take a free trip. I'll take this. I'll take that. I'll take the flower. I'll take you buy me dinner. Like, I'll take all this stuff." And they literally enable that pattern. And you're why do I attract this energy? and then you get angry with yourself not realizing that if you're a people pleaser or a nice person that's doing things to get a certain result. It's because you're expecting the result and because you're abandoning yourself, you're actually setting a subconscious pattern down that says this is how I treat me and then the other person will treat you the same way. The way I treat me is I abandon myself to perform for you. And as I
10:05 abandon myself to perform for you, you then feel the abandonment of myself. And then you say, "Well, who is this person? This person isn't being congruent. This person isn't expressing what they really feel because they're subconsciously afraid of abandonment." So you could say that for you to become the most magnetic version of you in this next year, the degree to which you are able to heal your abandonment wound is the degree to which you will be magnetic. The degree to which you can be good either way, whether someone chooses you or not, is the degree to which other people will chase you. And the thing with this is is people chasing you even if you get the image of
10:50 it. How nice would it be for other people to chase you? This is like a ro This is also a romantic idea just like the romantic idea of the nice guy people pleaser. The idea is oh I'm going to please you and then you're going to be like oh my god this person's just so awesome. They're just always pleasing me. Remember, if you're pleasing someone else, you're attracting someone that's either hard to please or that wants someone to please them in their life. People that overgive tend to attract people that overtake because of the energy dynamic. People that are really nice are trying to find people that they believe if they can be nice to are going to meet their needs and give them what they want. And remember, that's a form of manipulative energy.
11:37 It's a manipulative energy that's trying to control reality in order to feel safe. So realize that this really is about your relationship with you. And when you focus on that over everything else, that's how you will begin to be in that magnetic energy. That's when you'll stop trying to chase. Now remember, the energy around being nice, the fantasy is I'm going to be nice. Everyone's going to give me what I want. And even watching this video, I want I want every people to chase me. If that that's not actually true, like question this belief. This is huge for having magnetic energy. You think you want other people to chase you. Now, when you think about that, think about how chasing
12:25 isn't actually something that will actually fulfill you, even though you might believe it will. Think of people that have all the validation in the world. Someone like Justin Bieber, for example. Everybody might be chasing. I mean, people chase Justin Bieber just to get a photo with him. The paparazzi are chasing him and trying to nag him just to try to get some viral clip. He's so annoyed that I bet you he'd give a million dollars to walk around for a week and no one to recognize him. He would do a lot of weird He'd probably do a lot of things just to not be nearly as validated as he is. Now, what this shows though is what we think of as validation is not actually going to fulfill you. If it did, then someone like Justin Bieber would feel eternally fulfilled. But if
13:12 anything, there seems to be more of a mental health thing than anything else because it's not actually fulfilling. So, something to realize is that maybe this thing you think you want, you don't actually want. There just might be an inner child part of you that as a kid did not feel seen, heard, soothed, or nurtured. And that part of you is what wants to feel validated. But if you don't give it to you because subconsciously you're abandoning yourself, it will look for validation, approval from everywhere else, from you Instagram following from uh friends and family and co-workers and boss and everything. everyone will kind of reflect that energy.
13:57 So for me when I began to validate and approve that inner child part of me and I began to accept myself that was when I became to when I began to become more magnetic. When I let go of having an agenda with people and instead of wanting them to see me a certain way, I started to question that and I started to realize what wait one of the biggest insights I could have is instead of taking on the energy of other people and believing that I need to prove myself to them, what if I let go of playing that game? Because playing that game was extraordinarily draining. Even if you watch this video and you're like, "These are the things I need to do to be
14:43 magnetic and to have people chase me." That's a big burden. There's all these things you need to do. You need to heal your inner child trauma. You need to focus on not having an agenda. And now you're like, "Well, Aaron, how do I not have an agenda? How do I heal my inner child? How do I do these things? Because if I do these things, then people will chase me." And the thing is is if you're even playing that game, you're abandoning yourself from just focusing on you. And this is why one of the most annoying things you hear in dating and relationships is understanding that what do they say? Just be yourself. Just be yourself. How annoying is it to hear that? Just be yourself. What do you mean just be
15:28 myself? How do I be myself? But if who you've been is a people pleaser or a nice guy, is that who you really are? I remember the first time I ever heard of this book by Dr. Joe Despensza called How to Break the Habit of Being Yourself? I went into a sauna actually at uh in Vegas and there was someone in there that was this um this old lady that was reading how to break the habit of being yourself. And I remember seeing the title. I thought that sounds like a negative title. Why would you want to break the energy of being yourself? And then I later on, like a year later, found out that was Joe Despensza and I learned the concept. I'm like, "Oh, who we think we are is much of it is just past pattern of who we decided we are, but it's just the past playing itself out over and over
16:15 again. So what happens is if you identify as a nice guy or a people pleaser or someone that's good, someone that doesn't, you know, express themselves, if you identify yourself as that, you might find that to be real, authentic, and vulnerable and to have courage to express the real you is not in alignment with that real version of you. You might find that what you end up doing is you end up in a way being you're in congruent to who you actually are because of these personas and masks of who you think you need to be to get people to chase. So I guess what I'm saying is that the whole premise of this video is that for you to be worthy, you don't need a persona.
17:00 You don't need the new idea from a YouTube video that's going to help you become the most magnetic version of you. Even playing that game to begin with is the reason you might not have people chasing you. Even believing you want people to chase you might be blocking you from actually having people chase you. Because the truth is you don't really want other people to chase you. What you really want is you want to feel accepted for who you are. You want to feel this connection to your own inner child that doesn't feel seen or heard or validated. a kid, you might find yourself feeling like you have to put on a persona and ease the tension in dating and ease the tension and and wanting their approval or validation or wanting
17:45 them to text you back, etc. Which creates a lot of pressure and pressure blocks love and connection. So, one of the biggest things I realized that completely transformed magnetic energy inside of myself was when I stopped trying to prove myself to other people, believing that I needed their approval and validation to begin with, needing them to like me, needing them to even even choose me. But the funny irony is the less I needed them to choose me, the more I would then choose myself. the less I would need it for them, the more magnetic I'd be. So really, this is about you coming back home to you. This is about you choosing you. This is
18:32 about you choosing you because it's who you prefer to be. This is about becoming congruent to expressing the real you. Knowing there'll be times you express the real you and certain people may resonate with you or not. It's not your thing to manage. When you're not attached, you're more magnetic. And the only reason you might be attached to what other people think is because you're letting them determine who you are and how you think about you. You subconsciously are looking to them to tell you you're good enough. You're looking to them in order to tell you that you can feel safe inside of your body. And it's no, it's not surprising that as kids, our parents growing up are our
19:20 ultimate source of authority. And what happens is if something happened as a kid where you felt not good enough and you were looking for validation, approval from mom and dad. And if they didn't give it to you, you may assume that it's not because they just weren't integrated in themselves or it had anything to do with other things. You might have internalized it and said this meant something about me. So me growing up as a kid feeling when I'm 5 years old this divorce is happening. Very often kids think that when a divorce is happening is their fault. And because it's their fault there must be something wrong with me. So who do I need to be in order to get them to get back together or in order to get mom or dad to approve and validate
20:06 me even though there's so much going on? I need to be perfect. I need to please. I need to ease the tension in the household. I'm the oldest. I need to manage the siblings. Like these are roles as kids that I took on that I had to eventually shed. And part of that meant realizing it's no longer my job to do any of that. And as I began to instead realize it's not my job anymore, I began to realize that other people's tension is their tension. Just like other people not liking you is their thing, not yours thing to manage. But if you want other people to chase you, it might be because what does the chasing you actually mean? If they're chasing you, it might mean I'm worthy. I'm enough. But what if you began to
20:52 question that altogether and begin to say, "What if I'm good either way?" What if instead I focus on being the real me, expressing how I really feel? What if I instead focus on being congruent and being authentic? And then if they like me, great. If they don't like me, great. That's when you'll be in the most magnetic version of you. When you let go of the good girl persona or the good guy persona, when you let go of the nice guy persona or trying to be a certain way in order to get validation, approval, you'll begin to get more free. You'll begin to reclaim the lost parts of you that you may have not allowed yourself to be. One of the most popular videos that I have on YouTube was actually from a live
21:37 event where you literally watch a woman go from being wanting to be chosen, wanting to be chased to literally in the energy of being chased within 30 minutes. You watch her embrace the bad girl persona she'd been rejecting. And you watch her go through in a total identity transformation. So, if you want to learn step by step in under 30 minutes how to transform your life from the inside out and watch someone go through that transformation, then what you can do is check out this next video right here and watch how you can apply that into your life and how it changes everything. Check it out right here.
