0:00 I think the problem with self-control sometimes is that it has its ups and downs. Where some moments we have great control, and other times we just get sucked into this mood where we really don't want to do that thing that we should be doing. And while some of us are capable of putting in some hard work, it's the consistency part that's tough. And a tough reality that we must face is that our lack of self-control may really harm us, especially if it becomes a habit. Proverbs 25 verse 28 says that a man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. Or in other words, people who lack control either over their mind or their body will eventually be like a desolate city without any defense and zero safety. So because having self-control is such a valuable character trait to
0:45 have, I want to cover seven tips that can help people build self-control. And the reason why there's so many tips is because I think we can all reach a moment where we feel unmotivated and lousy, or we feel really pulled to do something that's wrong. So when that happens, it's kind of a fight where one side of us wants to do something bad or harmful, and the other side of us wants to do what's right. And when we find ourselves in a situation like this, there isn't only one solution that will always work. So in this video, I want to cover seven different tips for you to put in the back of your mind so that maybe one of them can help bring your heart back to a place that wants to do what's right. So with that said, let's cover the first one. Hey guys, thanks so much for watching our videos, and if you haven't already, please
1:31 don't forget to like and subscribe. Also if you'd like to support us more, you can become a member by clicking the "become a member" link in the description below. For the price of a coffee every month, you can help support our work to spread the gospel. Also I recently made a new design for some of our shirts and sweaters. With our Impact logo, I attached the Japanese phrase "choto zutsu," which is translated little by little. My goal in making this design is to remind believers that in order to make an impact on the people around us, we need to focus on making the small steps in our walk with God. Unlike some of our other designs, we're offering this exclusively in apparel only. So if you'd like one, or if you'd like to support us in this way, you can click the link in the description below. And on top of shirts and hoodies, we also have some stickers, pins, and phone cases if you'd like to get those. And lastly, we're also starting to roll out some of our thumbnail designs for other
2:16 products as well, so also be on the lookout for those. Again, the link is in the description below, and thank you so much for your support, and back to the video. Tip number one, look at the consequences. First Corinthians chapter 9 verse 27, "But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified." In this passage, the author Paul says that he disciplines his body and makes it submit to him because he may be disqualified if he doesn't. And the reason why he says this is because in a few verses before this one, he says that all Christians are running a kind of race. And at the end of the race, there are prizes to obtain, so he encourages believers to run in a way that will ensure they get the prize.
3:02 And the idea is that Paul wants to discipline his body because if he doesn't, he may become disqualified and fail to get the prizes and blessings that God has for him. And the reason why I bring this up is because in the same way that Paul understood the consequences for failing to discipline his body, it would serve us well to do the same. So when it comes to self-control, some people respond well to positive reinforcement, and others sometimes need a kick in the pants to remind us that bad things will happen if we don't get our act together. And in order for this tip to work, you really need to think hard about the consequences of you losing self-control. So if you want self-control because you're on your phone too much, I challenge you to turn on your screen time on your phone
3:47 and look at how much time actually goes into your phone. First, calculate how much time you spend a day, then a week, and then a month. And next, I challenge you to write a list of all the things that you'd like to accomplish in your life. And after you did that, I'd want you to reflect on both of these lists and see that the consequences for you being on your phone too much will most likely lead to you failing to put more time into other things that you deeply love. The key for this tip is to be as detailed and insightful as possible when considering the actual consequences. Because I've found that one of the reasons why we do not have self-control is because we oftentimes fail to see how our actions are actually hurting us or the people around us.
4:33 Next, let's move on to tip number two. Look at your reason. Hebrews chapter 12 verses 1-2. "Therefore, we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." In this passage, the author says that because so many people of the past lived by faith, we too should lay aside anything that can get in the way of our race so that we can run with endurance. And then this passage says that Jesus endured dying on the cross even though he hated the
5:19 shame that came with it because of the joy that would come. So note here that Jesus did not want to die on the cross. Even when he was praying in the Garden of Gethsemane, he prayed that if it were possible, that this death would pass from him. But even though Jesus didn't want to die on the cross, he did it anyway because he saw and focused on what would come from his obedience. So simply put, Jesus died on the cross because he knew that his father wanted it so that through his death, many people could be saved. So with that said, one of the things that could help you build self-control is to reflect on your reasons for wanting to build it. You see Jesus' reason? That motivated him to die the worst death
6:06 possible was to experience the joy that would come from his obedience. So for you, when the time comes and you want to give in and do something wrong, you need to remember the blessing that's attached to saying no at that moment. This makes me think of a ton of animes where some young hero trains really hard and says, "I want to be strong!" and some older figure looks at him and says, "Yeah, but why do you want to be strong?" And as cliche as that is, I think there's a lot of wisdom in identifying the real reason why you want self-control. And it may be the key to victory for some of you. Tip number three, look at potential stumbling blocks. Romans chapter 13 verse 14, "But put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh to fulfill its lusts."
6:53 In this passage, Paul tells Christians to be clothed with Christ and to live like he would and to not make any provisions for the flesh. So when it comes to self-control, there are things that we can allow into our lives that put us in a place where we're more likely to mess up. Like if you struggle with drinking, buying alcohol and having a bunch of it at your house is essentially setting yourself up to fail. Same thing is true with a porn addiction. Sometimes when someone just mindlessly scrolls through social media for hours, the mind reaches a place where it just wants to see something it shouldn't. And if they're alone in the room, it's kind of game over. So whatever it is that you're struggling with, I want you to really reflect and identify the things that are contributing to your success and to be honest
7:38 and to also see the things that are leading to your failures. Because like this passage says, "We need to be mindful to not make any provision for our flesh, or in other words, we need to create a space for us that makes it less easy for us to fail." And to do this properly, I would say talking this through with a trusted friend could really help because they can help you be brutally honest as to what you should probably do. Next let's cover tip number four. Look at God's grace. Ephesians chapter 2 verses 8 to 9, "For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast." In this passage, Paul tells the Ephesian church that they are not saved because of any of the good things that they do, rather
8:24 they're saved because of their faith. And the reason why I bring this up is because when it comes to building self-control, one thing that does not help is concentrating all your attention on your failures. So when it comes to addiction, I feel like many people can approach their situation from a place of condemnation. And for some people, they're in this cycle of sin where they fall to sin, feel bad for it, vow to never do it again, but given enough time, they'll fall back in. And after being in this cycle for some time, many people have come to a place of acceptance and they say to themselves that things are never going to get better. And one of the reasons why people give up is because they continue to live this condemned life where they're always attacking themselves and they add failure, sinner, or addict to
9:11 their identity. So I should mention that one of the keys to building more self-control in your life is by understanding and accepting more of God's grace. If you look at Romans chapter 8 verse 1, it says that there's no condemnation for those that are in Jesus. So note that if you're a believer and you're condemning yourself and beating yourself up over your failures, know that that isn't what God wants for your life. God does know that we mess up from time to time. So when the time comes and we do mess up, we need to remember that condemnation isn't of God and we need to keep going. Back when I was a flag football coach, each season would have about 10 games to play. And let's just say over three seasons of coaching, many balls were dropped, many plays were forgotten.
9:56 And there were a lot of times when my players downright messed up. And there have been quite a few times when I'd have to call a timeout so I can remind them to let go of past mistakes so that they can focus on the game right now. So for you, if you're someone that's struggling a bit and is focusing on past sin, like a coach, I want to encourage you to shake it off and to focus on the game. So know that it's okay if you mess up. We are human and God gives us grace. So keep going. Next let's cover tip number five. Look at God. Genesis chapter 39 verses nine to 10. There is no one greater in this house than I, nor has he kept back anything from me but you because you are his wife. How then can I do this great wickedness
10:41 and sin against God? So it was as she spoke to Joseph day by day that he did not heed her to lie with her or to be with her. So the reason why I wanted to cover these verses is because this is one of those passages where someone demonstrated one of the biggest acts of self-control. And here we learn about Joseph. Joseph was only a teenager when he was sold off as a slave by his brothers and while he worked as a slave, his master Potiphar started to really trust him because everything that Joseph did was blessed and successful. So over time, Potiphar made Joseph a supervisor of all his things and someone who had an eye for him was Potiphar's wife. And day after day, she would directly tell Joseph to sleep
11:26 with her and this passage was Joseph's response to her. And he said, "How can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?" So when it comes to self-control, one of the best things you could do is for you to think about God and how he would view your situation. You see, God should be the source of your strength and power and perhaps the biggest reason why Joseph was able to succeed against this difficult temptation was because Joseph was keenly aware of God's presence and he understood how that sin would affect his relationship with God. So with that said, this tip is pretty straightforward, but it's arguably the most difficult. So should the time come and you enter into a time when you need to exercise self-control,
12:11 I want you to think of God and how failing would affect your walk with him. Next we have tip number six, look at self-control's foundation. Second Peter chapter one, verses five to eight. But also for this very reason, giving all diligence adds to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. In this passage, Peter says that because God's people were given everything they need to live a holy life, to be diligent, to add virtue or moral excellence to their faith, and then to add knowledge to that, and then to add self-control. So in a way, Peter here kind of gives a
12:58 workout plan when it comes to obtaining self-control. So I want you to notice the order that he lists. He says to give all diligence and to add virtue to your faith. So if you believe that Jesus died on the cross for your sins, that's great. You have faith and Peter here would advise you to add to that faith. And the thing to add to it is virtue. And virtue in other words, is moral goodness. So this means that once someone believes in God and has faith, this passage says for that person to be diligent and to focus on developing the quality of their character. Meaning they should begin taking steps to actively apply God's word so that their character can grow. And as they add to their faith virtue,
13:43 the next thing to add is knowledge. So part of this looks like trying to read more of the Bible and to study it more. So see the sequence. First there's a focus on a person's spirit because the first thing a person should have is faith. Then there's a focus on the heart developing virtue or character. And next there's a focus on developing the mind through knowledge. And all of this leads to a focus of the physical body through self-control. You see many times people just want self-control. And in some ways that's kind of like someone who has the goal to compete in a kickboxing match. Hypothetically they could just jump in and fight and probably get knocked around a bit. Or they could be wise and take smaller steps towards that bigger goal. And these steps could be gaining skill,
14:29 then cardio, and then power. So going back to this passage, for people who want self-control, I would encourage you to see this organization of steps that Peter lays out. And to add to your faith virtue and to add knowledge to that. And then to add self-control. Because I've found that the body is connected to the mind which is tied to the heart and spirit. Meaning that if you take steps to grow your spirit, heart, and mind, control over your body should come more naturally. And you'll see this more in our final tip. So let's look at tip number seven. Look at self-control as a fruit. Galatians chapter 5 verses 22 to 25. The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness faithfulness gentleness, and self-control. Against such there is no law.
15:15 And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the spirit, let us also walk in the spirit. In this passage we see Paul list all the fruit of the spirit and here we read that self-control is the last one. So back when I was in Bible college, my teacher at the time, who later became a close friend and mentor to me, gave me an illustration on this passage. And it's one that I love. And he said something along the lines of this to our class. Have you ever laid in bed at night to hear this horrible screaming in the backyard? So being curious, you get up and you realize that it's the tree that was screaming and it screams this horrible scream. And you look and as it's screaming on its branch, you look and you see this and the
16:03 fruit appears. And my teacher looks at the class and he says, "Does this happen?" And we as a class laugh. And the point that he was making was that a tree does not have to scream, struggle, or work hard to bear fruit. It just does. So catch this. When a tree is given everything that it needs, fruit comes naturally. So note that this passage says that self-control is a fruit. Or in other words, it's the natural result that will surface when someone walks in the spirit. So as weird as it sounds, if you want self-control, the key to getting it is to not focus on it and to place greater attention to walking in the spirit. Because as someone walks in the spirit,
16:50 having self-control will happen naturally and it will become a fruit in their life. And part of walking in the spirit is growing your one-on-one relationship with God through His word, prayer, and obedience. Okay? So if you're someone that wants to grow in self-control, don't forget these seven tips. Look at the consequences. Look at your reason. Look at potential stumbling blocks. Look at God's grace. Look at God. Look at self-control's foundation. And look at self-control as a fruit. To close, I want to encourage you to consider Daniel the prophet. And if you read Daniel chapter 1 verse 8, you'd read that as a young man, Daniel made it a point not to eat certain foods because he knew that they would defile him. So he and his friends got permission from the higher-ups and they were allowed to eat
17:35 only vegetables. And the reason why I bring this up is because Daniel grew to be a man very close to God and one of the first steps that Daniel took was one connected to self-control regarding food. So if you're someone that wants more self-control, in the same way that Daniel exercised self-control in a very specific way, I want to challenge you to think of a place in your life where you can try to exercise self-control and to take small steps to deny yourself. So I know that's a lot that we covered in this video, but my hope and prayer is that some of you watching can use at least one of these tips so that you can have more victory in your life. And should the time come and you fall to sin or you don't measure up to who you want to be, remember to take things one step at a time and to remember
18:21 at that moment that you Jesus loves you. Hey guys, thanks so much for watching that video. If it was a blessing to you, please consider liking, subscribing, and ringing that notification bell so you don't miss a single upload. I also want to give a huge shout out to our team listed below. Their hard work makes this whole thing possible, so if you can, give them some love. Their links are in the description below. We also want to say a huge thank you to our newest members who joined this week. We really appreciate you all so much. Your support helps make these videos possible, so thanks for being a part of this journey. If you would like to support us and the work we're doing, please consider becoming a member. For the price of a coffee each month, you can be contributing towards reaching people online with the gospel message.
19:06 Click the link in the description below and become a part of the community today. Thanks so much for the support, and we'll see you all next time. God bless.
