0:00 Summer is arguably one of the best times to get ahead in life and reach your biggest goals, but quite frankly, most people will waste it. They will just spend another year doing the exact same and being in the exact same position they have been in for years, but you are not most people. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here. You know you have crazy potential to be way more confident, way more charismatic, and way more consistent than you are right now, and you're ready to put in the work. You just need to know how and what actually works. So, in this video, I'm going to show you exactly what to focus on and how to make the greatest comeback of your life using logic. Step number one, positive and negative Y. Research from the University of Scranton found that 92% of people who set goals never actually achieve them. Only 8% follow through, and what's most interesting is
0:45 that the difference between the people who make it versus the people who don't has nothing to do with talent or discipline. Psychologists have studied what drives human behavior for decades, and they all came to the same conclusion. Every single decision you make is driven by two forces. The desire to move away from pain and the desire to move toward pleasure. The people who actually follow through on their goals are the ones who have both forces pushing them at the same time. This means that in order to actually become more confident, more charismatic, and more attractive, you need two things, a negative Y and a positive Y. Your negative Y is the reason you need to get away from your current situation. It's the pain in the reality you refuse to accept for yourself. A positive Y is what you're running toward. It's the version of yourself you want to become and the achievements you really, really
1:30 badly want. Now, there is a really important part to this, and make sure you pay attention because this is exactly why 92% of people don't make it. Almost every single human experiences pain and has dreams they badly want. For example, hypothetically, let's take a man who is overweight. He's in debt, his wife left him, and he also has a drinking problem. The man in this example is absolutely in pain, but the reason he doesn't change is not because he doesn't have a negative Y. He does. His life is terrible. The problem is that he has normalized his pain. Psychologists call this hedonic adaptation. Your brain literally adjusts to your circumstances over time, even bad ones, so that what should feel unbearable starts to feel like just how life is. The pain is there, but he has stopped being consciously aware of how bad it actually is, and that's just his
2:17 reality now. So, the missing piece to why some people make it isn't pain itself. Almost everyone has some sort of pain. The missing piece is self- awareness and honesty about your own situation. Being able to look at your life clearly without denying or normalizing it and saying this is not what I want, and I actually refuse to keep living like this. The same thing applies to the positive Y. Most people have vague dreams, but they have never gotten crystal clear and specific about what they want, why they want it, or how they are going to get there. So, think about it. What are you tolerating in your life right now that you shouldn't, and what exactly do you want instead? The clearer you are on both, the easier it is to stay consistent. But, obviously, consistency alone isn't enough if you don't have a working plan, and if you're following the wrong advice. If you're running a marathon,
3:02 but you're running in the wrong direction, then you're just going to burn out and not achieve So, let's move on to the next step. Keep it to yourself until the results are undeniable. At first, when people decide to change their life, they get really excited about it. And the first thing they want to do is tell that to everyone. They will post stories about going to the gym, immediately share their new mindset with friends, and openly talk about their goals and plans. And it makes sense because you're excited and you want to share that energy. But, if you actually want to make a real comeback this summer, you need to do the opposite. You need to keep that energy for yourself and stay really private about your plans and goals. There are two really important reasons for that. First, and I know this might sound harsh, but most people are not going to be happy for you. Not because they're bad people, but because your decision to change forces them to
3:48 look at their own life, and it threatens their ego. So, consciously or unconsciously, they'll try to pull you back down by making subtle jokes about your new habits, questioning whether what you're doing is actually going to work, or constantly reminding you of who you used to be. And when you're in the early stages of change, you're vulnerable. You haven't seen any meaningful results yet, and so one comment from the wrong person at the wrong time can make you doubt everything, and in the worst case, just quit. But, that's not going to happen to you because you know better. The second reason is that not announcing your plans to others also boosts your self-confidence. When you don't announce every move you make, you're signaling to your brain that you don't need external validation to keep going. Your confidence stops being dependent on others and becomes something nobody can take away from you. So, unless you have a mentor or a community that is genuinely invested in your growth, keep
4:35 your plans to yourself and let your results do the talking. Step number three, the charisma formula. One thing that can genuinely change your entire summer, and honestly, your entire life, is your social skills and charisma. Being charismatic means having a quality that naturally attracts and influences other people. Being charismatic doesn't necessarily mean being loud, outgoing, or physically attractive. It's purely about your personality and how you carry yourself. It's what helps you make new friends, get more opportunities, and make people actually want to be around you. So, let me show you the logic behind charisma and how you can start developing it this summer. Charisma is essentially the combination of two things, warmth and competence. Warmth is basically how safe and comfortable people feel around you. When someone meets you, their brain instantly analyzes whether you have good
5:21 intentions, whether you're being authentic, and whether they can trust you. Right after people decide whether they trust you, they start judging your competence, whether you're capable, whether you're smart, and whether you actually know what you're doing. The problem is that most people only have one. Some people are really warm and friendly, but nobody takes them seriously. They're the nice girl that everyone likes, but nobody really listens to. Other people are clearly competent and smart, but they come across as cold or intimidating. People respect them, but don't actually want to be around them. And then, there's obviously the third type of people who have neither. They're arrogant, not good at anything, and at the same time mean to others. They come across as annoying, and other people usually just try to avoid them. This is the worst combination, and definitely not where you want to be. So, here's how to start building both warmth and competence, so
6:07 people actually enjoy being around you and take you seriously at the same time. If you feel like you lack warmth, focus on these. Actually listen when someone talks to you instead of waiting for your turn to talk. Do not interrupt people or try to finish their sentences. Don't make every conversation about yourself, and compliment people on things they clearly put effort into. If you feel like you lack competence, work on these. Stop apologizing for things that don't require an apology. Follow through on what you say you're going to do. Make eye contact when you speak to people. Have opinions, and share them without needing someone to agree. And develop real knowledge in things you care about. When you combine both warmth and competence, people enjoy being around you and respect you at the same time. And summer gives you the perfect opportunity to practice, because you're constantly meeting new people and being
6:52 in new social situations. Every party, hang out, and conversation is a chance to get better at both. This step alone can change how every single person you meet this summer perceives you. So, the next time you're in a social situation, actually try it. Step number four, do what you've never done. There is a simple and extremely logical truth about change. If you want something you've never had, you must be willing to do something you've never done. This applies to every kind of growth, whether it's mental, physical, or financial. You cannot build a new life with the same habits and mindset that built the old one. You will always get what you've always gotten if you keep doing what you've always done. And if your current way of thinking got you to where you are right now, and you're not happy with where you are right now, then something needs to change. So, if you actually want to change your life this summer, you have to be willing to do things
7:38 differently. This means facing fears you've always avoided, letting go of old beliefs about who you are and what you're capable of, choosing action over excuses even when it's uncomfortable, and being smart enough to look for better strategies when your current ones aren't giving you results. And just remember that you don't have to figure it all out alone. My channel is here to help you figure out exactly what to do and how to do it. So, if there's something specific you're struggling with or want to start working on next, let me know in the comments. And until the next video, remember to stay confident, smart, and glowing.
