Catechism Marriage Class Pt. 2 08.09.2024☦️

0:00 sacrament of marriage a couple weeks ago was the first part that we did for the betral tonight we're going to be doing the service of the crowning okay and I will be showing everybody examples of some of the different things actually we can do that now so that way you can kind of have an idea so typically the icon we're going to be using for the marriage ceremony and typically you end up usually getting a copy of the icon too but it's the wedding of Kaa all right uh some of the re the readings reflect this numerous times all right and then my uh my wife and I picked up some of the little cups so at one port in the in one part of the

0:47 service there is going to be a uh sharing of the common cup again this was a Remnant this is a remnant of when the service was part of liturgy okay so at the be at one time the betral part of the service just like in the baptism it began in the narx and then there was a it was there was an Ascension as you were going into the church for the crowning ceremony okay but now it's all combined together and it's been extracted and the common cup is the remnant of when you would receive the Eucharist together okay so in the carpa rusen church they have actual crowns that they use for the the husband

1:34 and the wife I I I have decided to go ahead and give an option because obviously these you don't get to take home uh right but these ones are the ones that they use in the carpa rouan church and in the and in the tradition that we did uh that we grew up in you actually get a set of crowns I'm I I'm going to go ahead and pass these around so you can kind of look at them these are actually going to be epim and Nicole's right here you can look at them later but those are some examples so you can see there's actually two sets in there all right and then once you do that you can also get a stepan aiki which is a shadow

2:20 box that you get to you can put your crowns in and typically by tradition you end up putting this above your bed okay right so make sure and pass it behind you too so everybody can get the chance to see it right so now the thing I've noticed about the uh the book that I got from the dases about the service it is a little bit different than what I'm going over but for the most part it is identical to what we're going to be doing some of the things are a little bit different in order but it's okay though I'm I'm just going to go over it with this because this is the one that I'm used to and this is the one that I I kind of understand okay

3:05 so the preamble to the marriage ceremony you're going we're going to be reading Psalm 127 the service of the crowning begins with the sing of the verses of Psalm 127 blessed are those who fear the lord those who walk in his ways the verses are followed by the singing of the refrain glory to you our God glory to you this beautiful Psalm was used in the temple of jerus M on solemn feast days to exalt the joy of family life the first verses of the psalm depict an idilic imagery imagery the beauty of the family the husband the wife and the children which is blessed by God to live in their home with Pro prosperity and joyful peacefulness whenever it whenever its members turn to

3:52 God in Pious awe and obedience to his Commandments the later verses refer to the blessing of God from Zion and to the blessing of Jerusalem in the New Testament and in the life of the church these terms take on new meaning and point and point the faithful toward the eschatological and ultimate vision of the kingdom of God the new couple is challenged not to be enclosed with the temporary temporality of this world to the quest to the quest of mere happiness in this Earthly life it it's an important to understand that yet fleeting it may be to seek the Fulfillment and the Perfection and the blessing of the Church of the kingdom of God okay so the the again you got to understand that when we're using Old Testament

4:39 references that deal with Jerusalem and deal with Zion and everything like that the reflection now comes to the Life of Christ all right when we're living in the the New Testament the New Covenant and again it's a challenge which I've stated numerous times before that marriage is not about happiness it's about Holiness okay and that's one of the things that I believe that all of us none of us were actually taught even those of us who are part of the Orthodox Church growing up you really don't learn a lot of these things okay some of the bigger churches maybe but for the most part A lot of the smaller places you don't learn any of these things but it's important for us to be able to understand that for the

5:25 new couples that are coming up to be able to focus on on the correct things and the focus on what the marriage ceremony is actually about all right so their natural human love and commitment is to be transformed it is to be raised up to the new spiritual reality and possibility that has come into human life through Christ and his church the human love of the spouses will be identified with the love of Christ for his church and their marriage ceremony will be beginning of the Ascension to the kingdom of God all right so again the movement it everything that the Orthodox Church does as as you got as you all have learned to understand is that it's what we see what we do the movements the

6:12 walks everything else right so again the beginning of the service started in the narx and then you ascended into the church right and when you're get when you get married at one time there was no marriage between Orthodox and heterodox okay there was marriage between Orthodox people they've kind of lightened those things up but it really shouldn't be if you're going to get married it should be to an Orthodox Christian because one of the problems is right you're going to end up fighting over the baptism of the children you're going to end up fighting over who's which church you're going to be going to but if you have if you have a Unity within the within your relationship before you even get to the marriage you're going to be starting out on a foundation that's a little bit

6:58 better than would be if you're starting out with already separated in the churches okay so that is the beginning that all kind of happens at the beginning with Psalm 127 all right so next is again a set of L the litany and the petitions so this again is a remnant of understanding that this used to be during the course of liturgy okay so these petitions the opening proclam Proclamation reminds us the sacrament of marriage was originally celebrated with the cont within the context of Divine Liturgy even though the marriage ceremony has been separated from the Divine Liturgy for over a thousand years it still challenges the couple to focus on the kingdom of God on

7:45 life and the church which is renewed and transfigured by the Light of Christ at the very beginning of their life together the church proclaims to their to the couple their goal and their Destiny they to look with great anticipation to East toward heaven to the kingdom of God all the days of their life when you get married your whole goal is to help each other get to the kingdom of heaven right are you going to be free from sin when you're married no are you going to still struggle with passions when you get married yes right all the thing just because you're getting married doesn't mean that you're going to be separate and you're going to be something different but whenever you're struggling with those passions whenever you're preparing for marriage

8:30 you're supposed to help each other to overcome the passions to overcome the things that you may you one person may be struggling with the other person may not but both people usually struggle with something okay so these petitions emphasize the nature of Christian marriage as communion of love and love and life as joy and salvation of the family united in Christ particularly beautiful is the petition making reference to the marriage of canaa in Galilee which Jesus himself blessed by his presence and his gift of good wine the petition asks that this marriage be blessed as the one as was the one in canaa of Galilee right so again we are calling on to the scriptures we're asking we're asking God

9:17 to bless us right Jesus was present at the W wedding of Canaan so we're drawing upon that we're saying please come and be with us just like you were at the wedding of canaa please come and dwell within W within us and with us to be a part of the wedding that we are preparing for all right and several additional petitions emphasize the importance of bearing children sons and daughters in keeping the conjugal relationship honorable and their whole way of life blameless okay so it's very very important right Fidelity is one of the biggest parts of marriage respect and honor is a big huge part of the marriage ceremony okay and I realized some of the people that are going to be getting married now into you going into

10:04 the sacrament of marriage they already have children but you never know right so s again the marriage is for the beginning but now that we're bringing converts into the faith and sometimes they've been married uh for Num for numerous years sometimes 20 some years right 25 years but the prayers are still the same okay because now this transfers onto the children being able to have the the the the hope that the children will now carry on what they're learning to go into their marriage now and do the right way it's an important for all of the parents to be able to lead the way in all the sacraments okay all right so then it goes into a the a number of prayers the first prayer

10:50 begins with a reference to the events in the first chapter the Book of Genesis describing the creation of Eve out of the rib of Adam and the institution of the the natural marriage of man and the woman as God oh holy Creator in all things visible and invisible out of love for mankind you transformed the rib of Adam the forefather into a woman and you blessed them and said to them be fruitful and multiply and have dominion over the Earth and by uniting them together you declared them both to be one member how many members one one member right so the husband the husband and the wife are no longer separate but they become one okay from the start it is made clear that God not only creates but also

11:35 provides for his creation let me say that again it is made clear that God not only creates but also provides for his creation God himself presents Adam with Eve and places between them the power of love that draws them together and unites them into a unified hole all right so Adam and Eve the the first initial ones that come together right but now we have 2,000 years or 5,000 years 6,000 years but 2,000 years since Christ we have a whole new understanding of what marriage is right yes we living under the fall we're living under the fall of creation but now we are trying to bring us back into the Kingdom of Heaven bring us into the glory of God and bring us

12:23 back into the understanding of what the initial marriage was meant to be okay and you're really not supposed to be married more than once okay that's why whenever you're praying to find a spouse you are supposed to be praying and and hoping for the person that you're going to remain with for the rest of your life okay that's why it's very important when people are looking for spouses that they're not going off of emotions and going off of feelings to marry somebody but you're going off of what that person is to you what you are to that person and if you can glorify God and continue to go to church and work on a marriage together then you have a chance to make your marriage Prosper okay so the command the Commandment to

13:10 be fruitful and multiply is not merely the directive to procreate children as this statement is generally understood the Greek words really mean to grow and to become perfect while while uh while the other words mean to make full or to increase not simply in a quantitive manner but also in a qualitative manner okay this Fuller understanding of the phrase supports the view that the spouses are supposed to complete each complement each other through a mutual exchange of qualities and will lead them to human fullness and Perfection s per such Perfection is achieved together by two partners in their relationship of Love which draws them out of their isolation and bestows

13:56 upon them the ability to experience and to in integrate qualities that each of them alone lacks or has not developed so what does that mean what what what somebody think that that means to compliment each other build each other up to build each other up and how about if the one how about if people have passions in their lives are we supposed to are yeah are we supposed to turn our back on those people that right my wife and I both have passions that we struggle with and she has had so much grace and mercy with me as she has helped me to work and to conquer my passions as well as I have worked to help her conquer hers okay so again that is the understanding that we're supposed

14:42 to be lifting each other up we're supposed to be again the fruitful and multiply is not just to create children but it it it's to become perfect right even even as Christians Jesus said go go forth be perfect as your father in Heaven is perfect right but that word actually is to be whole as your father in Heaven is whole right because we are not we are not whole human beings right with that with the sinfulness inside of us we have a part of us that divides us from God and the only time that we're ever going to be whole is when we actually die and we're resurrected and God willing we find worthy to be in the kingdom of heaven right but when we come together again if you remember right we got ass

15:28 signed a hedge of a guardian angel to be with us in our marriage so whenever you get married into the church you have angels that will be there to help you bolster up your your relationship so it is remarkable that the fall man is not directly mentioned in this or the other prayers of marriage original sin has indeed dist Disturbed the in and interrupted this intimate Unity between God and man and woman the philan philanthropia of God however has not been overcome by the interruption of sin and the divine plan for the Salvation of mankind goes on so what's that what what that's saying is that even though sin has entered into human

16:13 the human race that has not stopped God from continuing to make his people Prosper right God promised us he will never leave us he will never he will never depart from us he will always be with us and the only way that our world can continue to succeed and to continue to move forward in a holy way is for parents to actually have children that actually teach their children what the church is all about right many times and I've seen it numerous times with the Orthodox Churches all right with a lot of the couple a lot of the people that have grow I have grown up with that I've seen in the churches the the grandmother and the grandfather are very faithful the children are less so and then the

16:59 kids that come in are have hardly anything to do with the church right it's because they're for they they're they're not teaching the children they're not teaching the future Generations it's not about Bak laava it's not about dancing it's not about parois it's not about that stuff it's about fighting your way to the kingdom of heaven now I'm not saying that stuff is bad I like to eat a piece of baklava okay however it we need to be teaching our children what it means and who to look for in a spouse of course they make their own choices but if you're teaching and educating the children they're going to be prepared okay so uh so this prayer

17:44 this wonderful truth of the Bible expressed by what follows in the first prayer you oh Lord did also bless your servant Abraham and open the womb of Sarah his wife making him the father of many nations you bestowed Isaac and Rebecca and B and blessed her her Offspring you joined Jacob and Rachel and from him brought forth the 12 Patriarchs you also out of the root of Jesse according to the flesh caused the ever Virgin Mary to Blossom forth and from her were you made incarnate and born for the Salvation of human race so we're looking we're going all the way back to Abraham and Isaac right they are the ones that are preparing the way with their marriages and everything else to to go all the way up to Christ who

18:30 establishes the church right the bridegroom established the church and we married into the church with us ourselves being the bride okay here lies the significance of the many biblical personalities enumerated in this and in the other prayers of the sacr maritan marriage the entire series of the patriarchical couples blessed and guided by God prepares the way for the coming of the Messiah for coming of the kingdom of God into the world without those people actually accepting right when If Abraham didn't accept the call we wouldn't be here right now right I don't who knows where the world would be but Abraham accepted that call right his children accepted that call yes there

19:17 wasn't Perfect People in Jesus's lineage right we have different people that are weren't the best of people but nonetheless they heard the call and they answered it and they procreated and they were able to give The Descendants along the way to come all the way to Christ okay all right so this is the reason why God chose to bless Abraham and Sarah Isaac and Rebecca Jacob and Rachel Joseph and asth Joseph the the the the son of Jacob who was in in Egypt and ases with the it was the Egyptian woman that he married Zachariah and Elizabeth yoakim and Anna so God himself might might One Day become man this is the goal of Israel's history the first

20:03 prayer of the crowning service places the couple being married in the same company as the Blessed couples of the Old Testament so it's important as we're listening to these prayers as people are coming to the marriage that you understand what is being said and why right if we believe that the Saints are in our presence we believe that these people are in our presence if we're invoking their name we are asking for them to be a part of the marriage ceremony we're asking for them to betical Appa once upon a time but with each and every mystery the mar of marriage that is being celebrated in the church and then the prayer says through your ineffable Grace and great goodness

20:49 Lord you were present in Cana of Galilee and you bless the marriage there and as you were present there be present also here and bless this marriage and then it goes on to say preserve their conjugal life safe from the every human harmful scheme this is a sobering reminder of the everpresent moral evil of envy and jealousy in people who can threaten and compromise the conjugal Integrity of the couple it is also a reminder of the sometimes ill-advised and harmful meddling of parents relatives or friends into the life of the newly wit if any of you remember as some of you who are coming to for premarital counseling what is the one thing I've have always told you do

21:35 not talk to your parents about each other right if you have a complaint come to me right because it is a danger to go to your parents to go talk to them they are prejudice and they are thinking only about you who are telling them oh woe is me that person hurt me okay so make sure that and it doesn't matter if you're marri 25 years if you got you know my grandmother lived with us all my life growing up in the house and sometimes there was big battles in the household because of my grandmother being present of the house it was a big blessing for us as well I mean I got great cooking for the whole of my life but you know but after a while you know my dad spent more time with my mom's mom

22:21 than he did with his own mother when he came to America because he only saw his mother two more times all right so uh it is a wonderful balance between the Heavenly and the Earthly corresponding with our D dual nature of body and spirit the spouses that are thus blessed to serve also as generous stewards of the spiritual and material gifts of God right so that is the first prayer any questions so far okay the second prayer the second prayer Begins by invoking God who is the celebrant of the spiritual and Immaculate marriage of God with Mankind and the lawgiver of the natural marriage

23:06 of the body between man and woman God is also the guardian of incorruptibility and the benevolent provider of the necessary things of daily life in this almost cryptic invocation of God we can discern two types of marriage the spiritual or mystical marriage between God and Mankind and the natural or physical marriage between man and woman God is responsible for both of these marriages as he is responsible and provides mankind with Heavenly and Earthly needs so in other words if you are actually looking for God's will right God's will is absolute it is always in front of it always moves forward it never veers to the left and never me veers to the right it always

23:52 moves forward but when we go off on our own and start looking for a spouse that we think's going to fulfill us we're most of the time going to fail because we typically look for body we typically look for somebody's appearance we typ and if you're having sex before marriage it confuses you and you start thinking oh they love me because I'm having sex with them that is not what it's called to be and most of the time people who are having sex before marriage are have a roote Awakening when they start living with each other and they're like I don't know who this person is right and that's why you have to fight tooth and nail to actually work towards the sacrament of marriage and if you are if you are looking for somebody that God has in your life then God's

24:38 will is involved in finding that person in your life okay all of this theological and anthrop anthropological truth is presupposed by the opening line of the prayer which confirms that the roots of the conjugal Union and the Christian marriage are to be found in the Divine Life and will of God himself who designed and created man and woman in the first place the prayer goes you yourself oh Lord are the one who in the beginning created man and established him as a king of creation and said it is not good that the man should be alone upon the Earth let us make for him a suitable partner one who will complete his being okay and taking

25:25 one of his ribs you created the woman and brought her to the man when Adam saw her he said this at last is bone of my bones and Flesh of My Flesh He Shall be Called woman and she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man for this reason a man leaves his father and mother and Cleaves to his wife and they become one flesh and Those whom God has joined together let no man put aunder okay so again when God brings somebody together when God brings the husband and wife together that very last line is saying what God has brought together let no person divide them which means it's a danger for people that actually pray upon married people okay they are going to be judged harshly if you are breaking

26:11 up marriages and breaking up families you are going to be judged very harshly because it is Commandment that you are not supposed to be going in and trying to divide families a lot of times people think that they're being kns and shining armor when they're going in and trying to sleep with other people people but that's not what it is you're breaking up a family and you're disobeying and you're going against what God has brought together yes there's repentance I'm not saying that there's not repentance but you need to really consider before you even get marriage whether or not you can stay uh stay in Fidelity with that person right now the now the prayer turns to the main reason for the invocation of God God the celebrate of the spiritual M marriage and the lawgiver of natural marriage is invok

26:59 that he may send down his Heavenly Grace upon the spouses who are being married and thereby thereby Empower them to live harmoniously according to God's will and his expectations for them as they are revealed in the Bible and in the sacred tradition of the church so we're asking God can you give me a drink of water please we are asking God to come down upon the married couple and give that Grace that they're going to need to actually endure and fight their way forward to fight towards the Kingdom of Heaven all right that's something I believe that is lacking in a lot of the a lot of the marriage services that happen today especially if you go into the into the Chamber of the judge right to do a a what is it called a civil

27:45 marriage a civil marriage right none of these things are even included in those things right or you go down to to Las Vegas and have Elvis marry you right all these things are missing because you're not even invoking God to bless you okay so first God first God is asked to bless the couple as he bled Abraham and Sarah Isaac and Rebecca Jacob and Rachel Joseph and azeneth Moses and Zapora yoim and Anna Zachariah and Elizabeth clearly the church holds the new couple in the most high esteem and unhesitant hesitantly places the spouses in the honored company of those old of those of old who served in the Fulfillment of God's plan in the world which means that if you are coming together in God's will

28:32 you are fulfilling God's will for the world because you are now producing children that are going to do something in their life for the world now I'm not saying the PE the kids born out of wedlock yes they shouldn't have been that but those children I guess were meant to be born but if you were living in God's will you are going to be having children and raising those children into the church after the blessing after the blessing God is then asked to protect the couple as he protected Noah and the Ark the prophet Jonah and the whale The Three Holy you young men in the fiery furnace of Babylon the new couple will certainly face trials and tribulations of their own which they will need to overcome

29:17 with the help of God and again it is intentional and most instructive that this Prelude to the actual crowning of the couple contains the nucleus of the deeper meaning of the crowning ceremony married life is held by the church to be in the eyes of God of equal honor and Glory as being a martyr that is a true and faithful witness to Christ and the Christian way of life if you are marrying somebody now this word martyr as soon as you say this word martyr a lot of people think I'm going to die for you I'm going to die for that person that's part of it okay but but that's not the whole of it okay again if the person has passions that

30:03 that you're strug that they're struggling with you were to Martyr yourself for those people and you were supposed to help those people in their life to move forward by lifting them up in prayer and having patience with them as they conquer those things okay that is a martyrdom especially if you don't like the things that they're doing okay we have to make sure that we understand understand the true martyrdom of what is being called with the marriage service nowhere in the entire service of marriage is there a slightest indication of disdain or fear of the subject of sex I think that was important that's important to say okay it doesn't say anywhere that you're not supposed to have sex okay you're not supposed to

30:48 have sex before you get married right because you want God to bless your marriage and if you're for if you're fornicating before marriage you're outside the bounds a marriage but if you are waiting for marriage there is nothing telling you that you can't have pleasure in it okay all of this of course does not negate the necessity for aesthetic discipline for a humble effort on the part of the spouses to work diligently on the on daily basis to acquire through faith and love the grace of God in all aspects of their married life so how do you become an aesthetic when you're living living in marriage does anybody have any idea trying to trying

31:33 to put the other person's interest own yes that that that's definitely and that goes that statement that you made goes with the spiritual struggle that the each person has right you're supposed to put that other person above you and again the pro the Protestant or the general marriage right for rich or for poor for greater for you know for sickness and health all of those things are included right in in in the marriage of of the Orthodox church it's not spelled out right and again the whole the whole sex thing right if you go into your marriage and say I'm going

32:19 to do whatever it takes to sexually fulfill my spouse and if your spouse is doing that for you guess what you're getting what you want anyway okay so you're right exactly Kim Ruth huh it sounds like she listened to somebody huh she's listening to somebody teach her yes so yes one of the big one of the big thing now whenever somebody gets married for the first year don't do that okay you need to you need to be with that person all the whole year long okay uh but after that it is very important right one of the aesthetic ways that you

33:06 can live as with your spouse is not having sexual contact on the Wednesdays and Fridays not having sexual contact the days before liturgies to actually fasting from those thing from from sex during the 40 days right the 48 days of the fast or now during during the thing now if you end up having sex is God going to strike you down no but you work towards those things you work but you also have to make sure that your both spouses are on the same page with those things too right and you have to work with those people okay you have to work with those people in order to work towards the aesthetic aspect of your life somebody else had their hand up oh no that she made the same

33:55 comment yeah but I mean you got remember a lot of the monks that go out there if they they probably live life I mean there's some of the guys that have been married before they they went through a divorce or their spouse died and they have children right so their children do end up going up like to the monastery here they end up going up there and visiting and seeing their their families and everything like that but typically yes you know and they're H they're have been people towards the end of their life or to towards one part part of their life when their children are out of the house house or they the husbands and wives will end up living as as athetics in their household and they live basically as a brother and sister right they make that decision together and they come to that point in their life where sex is no longer of great

34:43 importance to them and they want to dedicate and devote themselves to God I know I it amazed me myself coming but I I my wife and I had that talk I'm like do you think one day we're going to it's going to be like that for us you know because we are actually working towards what we're teaching you know we try very hard to abstain from having any kind of intimacy on those days of fasting and to do and to adhere to everything that I'm trying to teach everybody else to do okay somebody else have their hand gra John John Michael I would say by being obedient to your vows as right and again when you come into the marriage ceremony is there an Ido in

35:28 the Orthodox service there is no ID do if you are there there is all all there is is I am here to get married there is no do you take this man to be no there is none of that is there all right and you're not giving away either now yes right now at the beginning of the service there is a part that says are you here of your free volition to make sure are you is anybody forcing you to do this and you have to say I'm here in my free bition nobody's forcing me to do this and I will ask your your wife to say that as well he'll check to make sure wife there's no shotgun weddings in theodox church okay say that

36:18 again right right all right so uh this is an interesting note it is interesting to note that in the manuscript of the church from the 15th century contains a prayer not presently in use okay I wanted to add this because I think it's very beautiful but it's not presently in use for the marriage ceremony that says something to this effect oh Lord send forth your Archangel Michael to prepare and beautify the bridal chamber and your Archangel Gabriel to bring the couple together in the conjugal Union another earlier prayer in the 10th Century found on Mount siai in the siai monastery also not used today contains

37:05 the following delightful text when our Lord God was in canaa of Galilee Michael Was preparing the nupal garments and Gabriel was weaving the crowns for the spouses the Angels were rejoicing the air was sparkling in the view of the marriage preparations the sea and all creation were smiling the Holy Spirit was guiding the marriage procession and the father of all was giving his blessing only the church that believes in the sanctity of the soul and the body only the church only the church that considers marriage to be sacred in all of its aspects include this very intimate conjugal life can even imagine the arch Angels preparing the nutal garments and adorning the marriage bed for the young couple to be married I mean that's for me I don't know about

37:51 you guys but I think that's those are beautiful prayers I wish they would have left them in there okay so the conjugal love of the spouses is certainly a very important aspect of married life it is the most powerful expression of human love that transcends the division and opposition of a male and female and achieves the total communion of the whole person body and soul in this mystery of marriage when the fathers of the church speak about virginity they do not always think of it in as anatomical terms but rather as a matter of the integrity and purity of the heart so what does that say can you actually be a virgin while you're being married according to this statement right you can become Come Holy and pure while you're married right that

38:39 is the goal of marriage that is the goal of you becoming husband and wife that is why the only Commandment that affects other people is adultery right when you commit adultery it not only affects the husband and the wife but also affects the person that you're committing adultery with okay how do you express Pur in marriage how do you express Purity and marriage well again working towards the Kingdom of Heaven working towards uh fighting those passions uh working towards loving each other working towards respecting and honoring each other working towards teaching your

39:25 children how to be pure right again you you're not supposed to be inviting a third person into the bed right you're not supposed to be having group sex you're not supposed to be participating in origies right those are some of the things and some of the married couples also uh make their marriage polluted by actually participating in pornography together right they watch pornography together so there are many ways that you can be able to become pure because not how you achieve purity of heart is iter sex like s and stuff like that you know improper sexual you're yes yes right what's

40:12 up and Patience are probably the most important things in marriage that we have to forgive Works ourselves and concentrate on ourselves instead of trying to concentrate on the someone who because it's so easy to see of someone who is living right next to you because you see the person every day it's so easy to see all the bad sides of it but at the same time if youate your ATT and you pay ATT to yourself and you learn to forgive patience you become closer to God and that and and that needs to be part of your daily prayer when you get married right it needs to be a part of your daily prayer because being patient with each other

40:57 is one of the aspects of try again the hezus way to be silent you know because sometimes my wife and I just sit down and we're just together we're just kind of quiet you know and and one of our one of our favorite times is when we're in bed together just with our arms around each other and just being us right there's nobody else there there's nobody you know other than the Saints right because again you're supposed to understand that you know you're not supposed to think to yourself oh let me turn the picture the fotus around so she can't see what we're you know what's going on I mean it's not like we can hide anything right yeah Gabriel you had a question oh you had your arm up sh where the birds

41:45 fly okay any other questions before I move on to the third prayer all right so the third prayer and the joining of hands so up to this point the husband and wife have not held hands you will not hold holding hands you will you are not going to hold hands until I put your hands together okay all right so the third the third prayer is short but like the two previous ones profound and Theological and anthropological meaning oh holy God a holy God you have created man from the dust of the Earth from his rib and a found woman you have joined her to him as a suitable companion and help her

42:31 after his own kind for it pleased your majesty that man should not be alone upon the Earth in view of this divine plan which you have put into effect oh Lord extend now your hand from your holy Dwelling Place in heaven and join together also your servant and actually says the names of the people that's going to be getting married for it is you for it is by you that the wife is United to her husband so again these prayers and I think you guys have now seen with the the the baptismal Services right is personal right your names are included in the prayers right it's not just some plain generic prayer we're adding your names into the prayer okay at this point the priest approaches the couple and

43:18 joins their hands in the full in a full and firm grasp the meaning of this realistic and symbolic gesture is very clear it it is God who offers the wife to the husband or rather who offers the one spouse to the other as in the beginning with Adam and Eve God himself now places the love and the life of each spouse into the hands of each other and thus makes them both equally responsible one for the other the mutual self-offering implies a tremendous amount of confidence which God has in us when he places the destiny of the one into the fragile hands of the other what what did you hearing that

44:04 statement huh yes but he but what he he's placing but it he places the destiny of one of the huh you're responsible for the other person you are now responsible and that's where the martyrdom comes in right it is I am I am responsible for my wife right even after when my son one day leaves the home it'll just be my wife and I okay only a mutual love motivated by only a mutual love motivated by the Divine love of God himself can assume and undertake successfully such a heavy responsibility it is a huge responsibility to be

44:49 married What is marriage become now disposable H if I don't get along with that person I'll just leave them right H if we doesn't work out we'll just get a divorce I mean that's how throw that's how throw away the the sacrament of marriage has gone away all right so in the context of marriage Sacrament however these petitions for the procreation of children acquire a deeper meaning with the biological Union of man and the woman and resulting procreation of children the spouses become the h on goinging manifestation of God the Creator in the world with the mystery of marriage the biological function of procreation is transfigured into the

45:35 Supernatural and spiritual fertility in the spouses resulting in the birth and nature of the future citizens of the kingdom of God the future sons and daughters of God okay that is the third prayer now actually comes the blessing and the crowning of the couple in the New Testament the crowns are sign of Victory all right stepan is the it the word comes from when you would wear the Laurel wreath when you were doing like the races or you were like now the Olympics are going on and they would give that is that is what it is it's the it's the Champions Crown okay that's where the root of the word that's where the understanding of the

46:21 word comes from okay as the athletes who submit to rigorous training in order to compete well and to receive a perishable wreath Christians are also to train in the rigors of spiritual life of self-control and self-discipline the Christians however untake their spiritual training in the hope of receiving an imperishable wreath right again looking towards the future looking towards the future the king the Kingdom of Heaven is now here and now but we're looking for the imperishable wreath the imperishable crown and it is said however that the crown Victory first belongs to who who would it be the first one Christ right yes so the joyful coron

47:07 coronation of the couple with Glory and Honor by Christ himself places them simultaneously as a significant beginning and at an end first of all to be crowned with Glory and Honor as to be restored to the condition of being in Paradise at the beginning of creation God now restores in the couple the Royal dignity and Majesty as a son and daughter of God man and woman are once again crowned by God to take their rightful place in Paradise to rule and serve as faithful stewards over all God's creations and to truly be the crown jewel of God's creation okay marriage does that okay marriage does that okay at the sacred moment of the marriage ceremony when the couple are

47:53 crowned with Glory and Honor by Christ and the Holy Spirit Spirit has descended upon them to truly endow them with the Divine Glory and Honor they stand at the threshold both of paradise and of the Kingdom right that is a power I know I've said this numerous times but how powerful that this marriage ceremony is okay the sacrament the couple receives the Holy Spirit to cleanse them from sinful selfishness and to empower them to experience an inner transformation of their love that becomes a way of communion with God Jordan asked about purity right Purity right Fidelity all of these things that come into play with

48:40 the marriage right when you receive the Holy Spirit you are supposed to be working towards getting rid of selfishness right because most of the times when you get married the only person you're thinking about is yourself when it comes to everything right I'm at work I come home from work how dare my wife not have the cooking done how dare my wife not have this done how dare my wife right not Tak in consideration what they have what she's gone through with her the children during the day what she's gone through how tired she is right so we need to make sure that we understand that one of the things that both people need to be working on is getting rid of selfishness right because the inner transformation of their love it needs to be the way of

49:27 communion with God any questions so far is everything making sense so far all right I think it'd be cool if an orthodox couple was uh they did they performed Eucharist at the same time I think that would be powerful no no I'm saying every Sunday and I have no problem you know when people come up they should come up together I I mean that's just a powerful image for kids to see hey this is two becoming one yeah at the cup Absol your is in of you you

50:12 at well that's what he's saying to be one right after the other that you know there's not more than one spoon but actually you know because sometimes one person comes up and then 5 minutes 10 minutes later the other person's coming up but if you're going up together you're being together going up to the Chalice all right so now come there there are two uh uh epistle reading and there's also a Gospel reading okay so the uh epistle reading is from the book of Ephesians chapter 5 20-33 and then it continues with John 2 1-1 okay that's the the um the Gospel reading all right so in the book of Ephesians for this

50:57 reason a man shall leave his father and mother to be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh this is a great mystery and I am and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church this really means that the union between Christ in the church is the archetype and the absolute model of the relationship between the husband and the wife while St Paul is well aware of social conditions of his time he is able to approach the difficult subject from a total totally different perspective he gives priority to the responsibilities of husbands husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and he gave himself up for her it is th it is in this sacrificial love for his wife that the husband can expect her joyful and

51:43 obedient response oh no father obedience yes that's what it's supposed to be like right because if the husband is going and becoming the man and is putting Christ first I promise you your wife will fall into line and I don't mean that in a bad way but it's supposed to be the way it's supposed to be okay that is how it was supposed to be from the very beginning I'm not saying that the wife is supposed to be a a subservient to her husband and be a slave right but at the same time you were supposed to be a slave to each other right to sacrifice yourselves to each other when Adam came out of his ecstasy and found himself face to face with Eve his wonderful surprise was expressed in

52:29 his words now it's isn't it kind of interesting that they use the word ecstasy drawing out the rib from himself that it was an ecstasy right this is the this at last is my is bone of my bones in the Flesh of My Flesh she became somebody out of him okay and a deep prophetic sense this was but a prophecy fulfilled in Christ and the church and it is also fulfilled each time a loving husband unites with his loving wife it is a it is this Selfless Love This unconditional self offering of one spouse to the other that makes all the difference in the relations of the Christian spouses right and it says wives be

53:14 subject to your husbands as the Lord as to the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church his body and himself its savior as the church is subject to Christ so let wise be subject in everything to their husbands again this is taking into the idea that the husband is actually doing what they're supposed to be doing right this is taking into consideration that the husband is coming and getting guidance is coming and doing confessions is coming and and learning and asking questions reading and reading scriptures and praying right this all comes in into again I if you're going to marry somebody you should be looking for somebody that is on the path already do not marry somebody thinking that you are

53:59 going to change them CU you're not okay you're going to go through a lot of heartache and a lot of stri strife if you're trying to change somebody into somebody who you want them to be you have to and if you are going to marry somebody like that then you need to make sure that you are praying to God and being patient with you and being selfless when it comes to that so as noted as noted above this concept of being subject to has nothing to do with a subjugation or subordination every Christian is subjected to his this principle out of the difference to Christ himself who gave himself uh gave his life for the life of the world to be subject to one another is to recognize the personal image of God and each other and to offer to him or to her the Dignity of their

54:47 personal of their personal priority can anybody take a wild stab how what that mean to be subject to one another is to recognize the personal image of God and each other yes each other's icon you're supposed to be each other's icon okay and to offer to him or her the Dignity of their personal priority what does that mean can you say that one more time to be subject to one another is to to recognize the personal image of God and each other and to offer to him or her the Dignity of their personal

55:41 Priority First right my spouse comes first but I respect that she has a personal life with God as well right I respect the fact that she has a Rel relationship with our Lord I respect the fact that she's an individual okay I and again I have told many of you when you're praying for each other what do you ask Lord let me see them through your eyes if you can learn how to pray that about each other you'll learn how to do that with your children you'll learn how to do that with the people you're working with you'll learn how to do that with every single person you come in contact with all right and then husbands love your wives as ch loved the church and

56:27 gave himself up for her okay so and again there's a lot more I could be going over but I want to give you guys at least the basic idea of everything so the Gospel reading the reading from the gospel of St John is the story of the marriage of the town of Cana in Galilee into which Jesus's mother and his disciples were invited this lovely story from the Life of Christ is also like the apostolic readings most instructive about the meaning of Christian marriage now what is interesting about what I that little sentence I just said did Christ go to that marriage Uninvited no he was invited he was invited what are we doing when we're getting married into the church are we inviting our G our Lord yes yes we are inviting God right

57:12 he he is a gentleman he does not come into our lives un without without our permission okay first of all it must be noted Jesus was not only invited to the marriage but he also attended together with his mother and his disciples the presence of Christ at this marriage is not only an affirmation of the blessing of this marriage in particular but of every truly Christian marriage to appreciate fully both the external aspects of the story and the deeper theological implications of the meaning of Christian marriage it is necessary to seek the more profound significance of the changing of the water into good wine the first point is the Practical realization they have have no wine the concept of the Virgin Mary

57:59 is Justified because this strong wine of the true love has indeed run dry and our unredeemed human life the new wine will not will will not fill old and empty jars the new creation is and not a creation out of nothingness man must offer the initial matter of his Fallen yet restorable nature what Jesus is really saying is this fill the jars with water so that I may give you wine give me whatever little or insignificant thing you have in life so that I may restore to you that which you have lost that which you need lift up your lives to God lift up your lives to God who will transform them into a new creation okay you're taking off the old self and you're allowing God to fill you up okay

58:47 that's what happens during baptism when you're getting married into the church that's what happens with marriage when you're getting married to each other and that's what happens during Nation when you get married to the church okay you're stripping off your old self okay in Christian marriage the love of the spouses can transcend the merely human dimensions and Ascend to the supernatural experience of the Divine love of God himself the new cannot be contained in the old we must be we must become new to be able to receive and to practice the new way of life it is the good wine which Jesus provides and which never runs dry that can transfigure a Christian marriage into a NeverEnding spiritual journey into a salutary

59:33 passage to the kingdom of God any prayer so or any uh question so far okay right so the next section after the readings is the fent petitions of the prayer for the marital faithfulness and Chastity all right so the first prayer starts out oh Lord Our God through the your Plan of Salvation you've declared and confirmed marriage to be honorable by the presence of in Canaan and Galilee do you yourself now oh Lord Preserve in peace and and Concord your servants the husband and the wife by name whom you have will to be joined together in marriage by your blessing reveal their marriage to be honorable preserve their conjugal life

1:00:19 in Purity bless their married life to be without any stain of sin and to remain in full faithful Chastity make them worthy oh Lord to reach a ripe old age together and to keep your Commandments in a pure heart somebody know the very first and essential condition for the survival of the new married couple is faithfulness marital faithfulness is the first step in acquiring also the gift of conjugal Chastity the sub the subtile concept of conjugal Chastity which is implied through the entire ceremony but not directly mentioned by name until now requires some commentary for clarification first of all conjugal Chastity does not mean the elimination

1:01:06 of sexual or the cessation of sexual love conjugal Chastity is seeking something entirely different the miracle of the transform Transfiguration of the OS of the spouses again that word Aeros which now we take as erotic love did not mean that originally Aeros is something that you can actually have for a friend you can have for your me for you my parishioners okay it also includes the Aeros between a husband and wife but with with uh philosophy and some of the things that came along I think it was like Sigman Freud that kind of T Twisted that word around and made it into

1:01:51 something different okay so with the grace of God there must be a constant renewal of nupal tenderness joy and mutual understanding of the common and ungoing spiritual struggle of the spouses Fallen human nature is so deeply affected by instinctive desires that it requires a profound metania right change of thinking a fundamental change of mind and way of life a deep sacramental uh penetration of the grace of God into the human nature for it to be restored okay any questions with about those petitions and the prayer for marital of faithfulness and Chastity okay so next is The Lord's

1:02:40 Prayer the blessing and the drinking of the common Cup today of course the use of the common cup is certainly a very significant symbolic gesture but it is nonetheless only a distant echo of the past living transition of the church when marriages were actually celebrated during The Divine Liturgy I explained that to you at the beginning by drinking the the drinking from the common cup of Life blessed by God the new spouses will share everything and will partake equally of the joys and the Sorrows which their common Destiny may bring before them does that mean that it's going to be all a better roses no spouses sometimes get sick some spouses sometimes go through immense heartaches spouses lose family members spouses lose

1:03:27 children spouses lose they go through all tremendous things of heartache and that's part of the Journey of loving each other okay and again the common cup which at the end you will get to take home and be able to do that every year on your anniversary all right uh the triple circular procession and the three joyful hymns all right so one point right after the the the drink right after we do the the the common cup now while the husband and wife are holding hands and while the best man so during the the the exchange of the Rings the maid of honor is going

1:04:15 to take the Rings and exchange the rings on the couple's hand and then the best man while the crowns are on top of the head the best man's going to hold the rib ribbon okay and as and then I will lead you I will be holding the gospel you're going to be holding your candles and I'm going to lead you I'm going to be holding your hands and we're going to go three times around the tetrapod okay there's three hymns that take place like the other aspects of the marriage ceremony the circular procession is not merely another symbolic gesture but rather the actual procession the beginning of the Journey of married life together by the new couple these steps together the new marriage couple takes in the church holding hands with their

1:05:01 crowns on their heads with the with their radiant candles burning led by the priest who is holding the book of the gospels the Journey of life is of course the continuation of their previous life but now they are no longer alone on this journey they are a couple moving together in unity and harmony with glory and honor their married couple is now on the Journey of the common life no longer alone and separated but United by the mercy and love of God and moving toward Heaven toward Eternal eternity together the first hymn takes its initial inspiration from the prophecy of the Prophet prophecy of Isaiah uh uh uh the prophet Isaiah who foretold the birth of the Messiah the church now jubilantly blesses the Virgin

1:05:46 who has indeed given birth to the Savior Jesus Christ who is both God and man and who has thus brought God to us making our Sal ation possible that is also as a side note I I is the same hymn that is done when you get ordained into the priesthood when you take your first step as priest the priests are holding your hand and you're that same hymn is being sung as you're going around the Altar and as you're going around the priest is kissing the corners of the church God willing if subdeacon decides to get ordained here and metropolian Gregory blesses us to do that we'll get to see that down here can you repeat what the is what's

1:06:34 the kissing the altar the altar that's for the priest no I know what what does that symbolize you're kissing the altar whenever you kiss the altar you're coming and again it's like V you're venerating the altar right you're preparing yourself and you're Venera in the altar you're coming to God and that veneration passes on to Christ himself right so this the first hymn Says dance with joy oh Isaiah the Virgin was indeed with child and as she bore a son the Emmanuel who is who is both God and man son of righteousness is his name and we we glorify him we bless the all the holy theotokos the second hymn refers to the Holy Martyrs who were crowned because they completed successfully their course

1:07:20 of life as well as trained athletes as there as an inspiration for the newly crowned couple to succeed in their nupal Journey which is now just beginning the names of the intercessions the Holy Martyrs are now invoked a holy martyr you have fought the good fight and have been crowned intercede to the Lord and have to have mercy on our souls and finally the third hymn is the of the entire service is the brief doctrinal doctrinal glorification to Christ as the pride the Dignity of the Apostles and the joy of the martyrs who in fact preach and proclaim the undivided and consubstantial Holy Trinity glory to you oh Christ Our God the pride of the Apostles the joy of the martyrs who proclaim the consubstantial Holy

1:08:10 Trinity and then the paternal exhortation and the removal of the crowns oh oh bridegroom talking about the bridegroom be exalted and glorified like Abraham be blessed like Isaac and to for be and to be fruitful like Jacob go and live in peace with your wife her name and observe with righteousness the Commandments of God and you oh bride her name be exalted and glorified like Sarah be joyful like a Rebecca and be fruitful like Rachel Delight in your own husband his name and observe the Commandments of God for so is god well pleasing these Lovely exhortations by the spiritual father have a honorable and joyful tone as they actually they are actually the

1:08:58 lurgical congratulations and greetings to the new spouses by the priest they are also the commission given to the new couple to go forth and to be truly what they have be what they have become a husband and wife they are not only to fulfill their unique personal role and permanent commitment to each other as husband and wife but also to fulfill Faithfully together the Eternal Destiny in God you've heard that about three times so far tonight okay okay he offers them so not only is there prayers all the way through but there's also a prayer just to take the crowns off all right everything is done for a reason okay he offers them he offers them to the spouses to be revered with a kiss as the sacred symbol of their marriage and the

1:09:43 proceeds to take them into the sanctuary and place them on the altar table now if we pause to reflect on the inner spiritual significance of this rather simple gesture we will see clearly and precisely the the very essence of marriage as the Sacrament in the life of the church the crowns of marriage of the S the the clowns of Glory and Honor need to be protected and preserved by the spouses throughout their entire life which means you got to again the husband becomes like the point man right like in the military guiding and guiding and guiding okay the the uncertainty however is with whether the spouses themselves will be strong enough to withstand and reject the Temptations and the distractions of the Fallen un

1:10:29 unredeemed World in order to dedicate themselves decisively to the attainment of their ultimate potential and Destiny in Christ This is why the church prays that the new couple just beginning their married life together will fight the good fight well and will survive to the end to receive again in God's Heavenly Kingdom their final and ultimate crowns of Glory and Honor that will never fade away and then at the very end is the final blessing and prayers may God the father and the son and holy spirit the all holy and CS substantial and

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