Cracking the Hidden Code to Visualize Your Dreams into Reality | Ed Mylett

0:00 Hey everyone, welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show. Hit that like button and be sure to subscribe to the YouTube channel so you never miss my show whether it's Tuesday, Thursday, or Saturday. Now on with the show. All right, welcome back to the show everybody. So grateful that you're here with me today. Today's question was very simple. Ed, how do I change my present right now? By the way, if you have a question you want answered on the show, you can submit it on my Instagram edi. You submit it there. We get thousands of them, but there's a chance your question will get answered on the show. And so today is all about leadership and vision and dreams because I've been asked about this topic a lot. And don't discount yourself. If you have a child, if you have a company, a business, if you are a human being, you're a leader in the

0:46 context that I'm going to cover today. Okay. So today's topic is this. I want you to write this down. Here's the title. It takes leaders with vision to help people with dreams. Let me say it to you again. This is this is big stuff. It takes leaders with vision to help people with dreams. That's not my saying. I heard it somewhere many, many years ago, but I've lived by it. It takes leaders with vision to help people with dreams. What does that mean, Ed? Well, here's what it means. The first thing is it's a reminder that everybody you meet has a dream. Everybody's born with a dream. There's a heart that dreams. As we get older, those dreams can change. They can evolve. They can even die and get buried. But every human being has a dream. That dream could be to be a multi-millionaire billionaire. That dream could be to lead millions of

1:31 people. That dream could be to be a mother or a father. That dream could be a particular career. That dream could have a particular body. That dream could be to live with a particular set of emotions. For some of you, your dreams as simple as my dream is to begin to be happy. I'm tired of living sad or down or worried or angry. But remember this. Every human being you meet has a dream. It might be a big one that's long term and it might be just a short one. Their dream might just be, man, can I get through today with a little bit of peace, with a little bit of bliss, but everybody's got a dream. And I reminded myself of that when I meet humans that they have dreams. Every precious person has one. And like I said, there's millions of them, and there's varieties of them. And some people have lots of different dreams.

2:18 But this is a context and a syntax that you begin to see your brothers and sisters differently. That server at the restaurant that's serving you that you don't make eye contact with when they ask you how's the food or what would you like to order, that person's got a dream. That dream might be just that you acknowledge them. That dream might be that they want to be the best server that's ever lived. That dream might be that, you know, they want to have a big YouTube channel someday. That dream might be they want to write a book. That dream might be that they want to meet their the love of their life. But that person's got a dream. That's why they were born. You were born to live a dream. You were born to make your dreams come true. And I know this. And so what those people are looking for is a leader. And all a leader means is I can

3:03 help you. I see something that you don't see. I see a potential. So as a leader in a company, many of you run companies or businesses. Remember this. It takes leaders with vision to help people with dreams. What does that mean? That means that you need to begin to work on your vision because everybody you meet's got a dream. If you're a mother, what's the vision for your family? What's your vision for your children? Are you sewing seeds in them of vision and visionary leadership in them? I read a book a long time ago that really changed my life. It's an old book. It's written by a guy named Guy Kawasaki and it's called Selling the Dream. And what he was really writing about was Apple. He was the guy that kind of marketed the old Macintosh for Apple. But the entire book

3:48 is the context of what Apple was doing to become a great company. And if you really understand and study that company, Steve Jobs was a great dream seller. See, selling the dream is a skill and a talent you build. Listen to me. But most people are oblivious that it's important. Most people think that's only for the Steve Jobs of the world or the Ed Mlets of the world. You want to be a great father. You get great at selling a dream to your children and your family and your spouse. You want to be a great business person, entrepreneur, you get great at selling the dream and having a vision for where you want to go. You want to be a great anything. You want to lead yourself in life, you better have a big- time vision. You be able to sell yourself on that dream. Life's about vision. That's why the Bible talks about where there is no vision, the people will perish. They

4:34 will literally die. You're a dead human without a dream. You're a dead human without a dream. So you should constantly be working on your dream muscle, your vision muscle and your ability to sell yourself and other people on that vision. I am talking to you today because I had a dream and a vision that I could help millions of people that I could use an ability I thought I might have to communicate to reach people. Remember this, we constantly move in our life towards where what we're most familiar with. We move to the familiar. We gravitate to the familiar. We develop patterns and behaviors that are familiar. That's why when you drive home, usually from wherever you work, you don't even have to consciously think about how you're getting there. You just kind of pull right off the freeway when it happens, don't you? You're not even thinking

5:19 about it because it's familiar to you. You get in the shower, you don't think, you know what, today I'm going to soap here first and then shampoo. You got a routine. You just do it unconsciously. Your life, most of it is unconscious because your brain is trying to save energy by creating habits that are repetitive and that are familiar. Well, if you're only familiar with the tasks you have to do, or as a mom or a dad familiar with I got to cook them lunch, I got to get dinner, I got to pick them up for school, and you just do the monotonous stuff, and you never have a family that's loaded with a vision or a dream of where they're going, or for each individual child you have, or for your spouse that you're selling them a dream and a vision of who they could be and how much you believe in them. Of all the things I'm not very good at, I'm amazing at selling people on themselves.

6:05 I'll tell people that all the time. Server in a restaurant's a great example. If I see say, "Man, you're awesome. You are awesome. You're amazing. Thank you, man. I you're you're not even going to be here someday, are you? You want to do something out of here. I could see you I could see you out of here doing more." Or if they do want to be, they'll say, "Man, I could see you running this place someday." With my kids since they were little, I was selling them a dream and a vision. I assume that mylets are going to do something awesome. I'm telling you, hey, listen to me. The Mylettes are doing something awesome. They still get text messages. Hey, let's do something great today. We're going to do something freaking great as a family. Woo. And kick some butt today. Making a difference. The My Lets are leaders. We got a vision. And I'll sell them that dream over and over again. Think about all the people you admire in your life. Think about them. What's one thing they

6:50 all have in common? They had a big old dream, a vision, and a dream that they sold either themselves or you. Let's go through a few. And by the way, when I'm saying this, what about you? What vision are you constantly selling yourself on? What vision are you selling your colleagues on? What vision are you selling your spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend on, your children on, your parents on? Do you do that? Are you conscious of it? Because that's called being alive. The ability to grab a vision and develop it is a muscle. And to do it repetitively, even when people are rolling their eyes at you going, I heard this before. And here's the kicker. Get good at selling it. That's a second step. Think about who you admire. Let's just go through a few people. Let's say you're a follower of Jesus.

7:36 Just curious. Did he have any dream he sold? Do you have any vision? His vision. His dream was everlasting life for you. That's about as big as it gets. You bought the dream in the vision. If you're a believer, whatever your faith is, you've bought the vision and the dream of this person that is your deity. In my case, I'm a Christian. And then what did he do? He sold the dream. He cast the vision and he sold the dream over and over and over and over and over again. And then he built a team of people that sold it. And it's become the biggest movement in the history of mankind. Maybe you're not religious. How about Martin Luther King? Do you admire him? Wow, that's interesting. Because

8:22 his most famous speech is, "I have a dream." And he sold the dream. He did it with his oratory skills. He did it with his physical labor in the marches and the standing and the difficult times up against adversity. And then he had other people who caught that dream like the Rosa Parks of the world who started to carry that dream and that vision. Okay, maybe you're into politics. Who do you like? Trump or Obama? Because you don't like them both. What did Obama have? Hope and change. If you loved Obama, you were all about hope and change. and he embodied that hope and that change that you love. Maybe you didn't like Obama. Maybe you're a a Trumper. You love Donald

9:07 Trump. Did he have a vision? Does he have a vision? Make America great again. That's the vision. And he sold the dream on it. Now, it's even more powerful when you embody that dream. So, let me give you some steps. You got to you got to get great at seeing a vision for yourself and other people. Then you got to sell a big enough dream that the dream of everybody within your stewardship can fit inside the one you're selling. So if you're a business leader, you got to sell it big. Here's your number one problem. If you're running a business right now, you ain't selling it big enough. You got to see it bigger. Ready for this? Get in the big, man. Sell it bigger. Get in the big. When Apple was just a board company, Jobs was about being talking about being the most transformative company of all time. That was crazy. How about me?

9:55 some guy that's just plugging away as an entrepreneur 25 years ago, a dream of being worth hundreds of millions of dollars, of influencing millions of people, of using my story to change. You'd have laughed your ass off at me back in those days. Well, people aren't laughing anymore, are they? Because I got a big old vision. I started selling myself the dream. When you sell it and then you embody it. So, here that's step one. Get a vision. Step two, start selling that dream. Step three, make it repetitive. Being in business or being a mom or being a dad or being a leader is not coming up with new things you say to old people. It's saying old things to new people. Let me say that to you again. Too many of you are trying to create some new thing you're saying to the old team. What you need to be doing is saying the old things to new people. So I've said it over and over and over. So you got to sell it big enough that

10:41 everybody's dream is fits inside of it. So the mylets are going to do something awesome. Max, you can play on the PGA Tour. Bellibu, you can have your own business and run for president someday. If you It fits inside the dream that I'm selling. If you're running a company, you got to get the dreams of everybody to fit inside that. The third thing is you got to back it up with massive action. It can't just be words. People got to watch you go, "Oh, she means it now." You get good at selling that dream and you do it repetitively. You don't end up suffering from what I call leadership fatigue where you get tired of hearing from yourself. You get tired of saying it. Most businesses fail because the leader gets tired of selling the dream and acting like it. Most parents fail because they get tired if they ever sold the dream. They get tired of selling it because the kids don't behave. They don't act like it and they finally just quit. The more you sell the

11:29 dream and sell the vision. I'm convinced the problem for most kids is they're being raised by parents who don't sell a big vision and a big dream and tell them how amazing it's going to be. When you're a leader, that's a position. That means you have a viewpoint the people behind you can't see. You have a job as a leader, as a mom, as a dad, as a business leader, as a coach to say, "Hey, let me tell you what I see, cuz you can't see it. Let me tell you how it's amazing it's going to be when we get there. How worth it it's going to be to go through the trials and tribulations. How worth it is to go through the ups and downs and put the work in." Let me say it to you again because this is going quick. Okay? You got to see something they don't see because of your position as leader. And you got to be able to say, "Let me tell you what I see." And you tell them over and over and over. And you tell them in different ways until they get it. But you say the same thing. And you tell

12:16 them how amazing it's going to be when we get there. Go all the way back to Jesus. Let me tell you what I see. I see you in heaven someday. Let me tell you how amazing heaven's going to be. Let me tell you how amazing it is. Right? Over and over and over. You tell them how to get there over and over and over again. It's got to be big. It's got to be bold. It's got to capture people's hearts. And they've got to see themselves fitting inside the one you're selling. It can't be a selfish dream. Unless you're just leading you, then you got to do the hard one. You got to validate it with your action. They got to see you go, "Wow, she's serious. She's in here 2 hours earlier than she used to be. Oh my gosh, she's got this dream of doing this bodybuilding contest she's doing. Look how disciplined she is with her diet. My gosh, you know, she takes off on lunch and works out in addition to her morning

13:02 workout." They start seeing it. Man, he's talking big stuff for the company right now. He's talking major plans, major vision, unbelievable stuff. Have you seen how he's working right now? This dude's a maniac. He means it. You validate the dream with your actions. You tell your kid they're going to play high school basketball. How often are you getting out there shooting with them? How often are you getting up early? How many videos are you sending them on shooting stuff? How many articles? What the coach are you trying to get work to get them with? Validate it with your actions. You become a powerhouse and then it starts to get momentum. This is what happens in life. You got to learn to do this. If I was to tell you one thing about your life I would wish for you is that you would get a bigger vision for you. If there's one thing I would wish for your company is that you

13:48 get a bigger vision for your company. If there's one thing I'd wish for your family is that you get a bigger vision. And after you have those things, then what I would wish for you is that you work on the development of selling that dream and getting better at selling yourself and others on that dream. Then I'd wish you'd repeat it almost to the point of people thinking you're crazy. And then what I would wish is that everybody can fit inside the one you're selling. And then what I'd wish is that you'd validate it by taking massive action. You start doing that, your life changes. The reason your life is not changing if you want it to is you don't have a compelling vision that's greater than your fears. And the way you make a dream happen, by the way, you might say, "I don't know what my dream and my vision is." Let me

14:35 tell you what it is. Your dreams, what will move you in your life always is either the future you want or other people. You'll never do anything for yourself, but you'll do stuff to achieve your vision and you'll do stuff to make other people happy. What I recommend you do is once you get that vision is you link your love for other people to that vision and dream. Because as long as you tell yourself, I love these people more than I'm afraid that this dream won't happen. I love these people more than I'm worried about the obstacles and the roadblocks. I love my family. I love my whatever it is more than I'm scared more than the adversity. My love is greater than anything that will get in the way. Most of you are afraid to get a big vision because you think you're going to miss it. And then you're afraid to really pursue

15:21 it and chase it because you're afraid you'll fail. Many, many times I wanted to quit. And I would remind myself, I love my family more than this obstacle. I love my family more than I'm afraid. I love my family more than this adversity. I will love my family longer and it will endure far past this problem. And once I attached my love to the dream, the people I love to the dream, I became a pretty unstoppable force because there was no copout. And by the way, if you know someone who's quit on their dream, you know the hard reality, the adversity was greater than their love. The adversity was greater than their

16:07 love for their family. They sold their family out. That's the hard truth. I got to sell out my family. There ain't any word game, any adversity, any obstacle, anything you're going to put in front of me that's going to get me to sell my family up the river. And that's exactly what you're doing when you quit. Let me ask you this. Let's just get this straight. Is there anything bigger than your love for these other people? Is there anything that would come in your way that would be bigger than your love? Maybe your love for your Lord, your love for your family. Anything bigger than that? Good. I hope the answer was no because if there's nothing bigger than that, you're going to win. Unless, of course, you renegotiate that at some point, which a lot of people do.

16:54 You ever seen someone who's been defeated in their dream quietly, they might blame someone else. They might have their excuse, but deep in their soul, deep in their intuition, deep inside them, they know they sold out. They sold out. Here's the great news. I've quit many things before, but I got back up again. It's not too late. You can decide right now. That's it. He's right. I'm going to start attaching my vision and my dreams to my love for these other people. And I'm getting up. I'm going to be a different force. Now, let me ask you this question. Any of you that have kids, and if you don't have kids, just pick somebody you love. Let's say you were sitting in a meeting right now. someone walked up to you and handed you

17:39 a note and said that person was in a serious car accident. Picture your children if you have children or your grandchildren. If you don't have children, your mom or your dad, your boyfriend or your girlfriend, you're in a very big meeting room and you got handed a note. So and so's been in an accident. It's serious. You need to come now. What would you do? You'd get right up and run out of that room, wouldn't you? In a minute, wouldn't you? Would you stop and go, "Well, wait a minute. I don't want to be rude to the speaker. I don't want to get up and bother the other people in the room. What's everyone going to think about me when I get up? Is everyone going to say wouldn't occur to you at all? That stupid stuff of what other people are going to think because you got to get to this person you love, right? Because your love is greater than that moment. And when you got up, if you started to run out of the room and

18:24 someone stopped, you go, "Hey, someone stopped. What are you doing? You can't get up in the middle of the meeting. There's no way you can do this. That's rude. Sit your butt back down." Which you go, "Oh, okay. I I don't want to be rude. Would you do that or would you go, "Get out of my way. My baby, my child, my girlfriend, my mom has been in an accident. Get out of here." And you steamroll. And when you got to the door, they said, "Hey, you need to get back in there. This door is locked. There's no way out." What would you do? Go, "Well, I guess that's a sign I'm not supposed to get to my dream. It's God giving me a sign. Too much adversity. Is that what you say it's a sign?" Nah. You know what I bet you do? I bet you'd kick the door down, wouldn't you? You sure would. You'd kick that door down. Bam. No obstacle. When you got out to your car

19:11 and it didn't start and it wouldn't go, you're like, "Well, I guess that means I'm not supposed to get there." Man, one thing after the other. Guess I'll just lay down here. Another obstacle, another sign. Just not meant to be. I just don't have what it takes to get to my child. Would you do that? Heck no. You'd go carjack a dad gum car if you had to, wouldn't you? You'd ask, "I need your car. I need your car. I need your car. I need to get take me right now. You'd get an Uber. You do whatever you could. You get an Uber, you get a T. You'd run and get anything it took. When you got to the hospital, if you got to the door, they go, "Hey, slow down. There's procedure here. You got to sign in. Are you family? You got to pre be like, "Hey, I got to get to my family." No obstacle. Well, hey, we need these. You don't you would you say, "Well, man, I if before I do it, I need to know the exact words I'm supposed to say. I need

19:58 to be totally prepared for when I get to the I need total preparation before I can get to the screw preparation. You're never going to be totally prepared for that moment. You have to have the perfect words or the perfect moment or the perfect knowledge or understand everything. That's all out the damn window when you want something to get somebody that bad. You'd get to your baby, wouldn't you? You wouldn't need the perfect words. You wouldn't need to know everything. You wouldn't wait to get started for the right timing. None of that crap would matter, would it? because you're going to get there because you love them so much. That's how your dream has to be. And by the way, that's the truth of how people make their dreams come true. And here's the truth about the people that don't. They don't attach that love, that urgency, that obsession. And so little

20:44 stupid things start to seem big. What are these people going to think? Oh my gosh, someone rejected me and told me to sit back down. The doors are closed. There's no way to get in that room and make it happen. You'd find a way to get that door knocked down, wouldn't you? There's no door closed. It didn't start. There's a setback. My car. No, wouldn't matter. When you got there, they said, "Hey, we need this information. We need to hear the right words from you." You wouldn't wait around and go, "Well, let me sit in the parking lot and prepare for another 3 weeks before I get started so the timing's better and I know everything I need to know when I get in that hospital." No, you know enough. And you'd get going. And what you would say is, "I'll figure it out when I get in there." Isn't it trivial and isn't it silly when you put it in that context? What we let stop us

21:29 and why we lay down after a while. Ed, how do I get back up in my life? I'm telling you how you get back up by getting a new vision. By repeatedly selling yourself this dream and by attaching your love like that precious child or or loved one who was in an accident, that type of urgency, that type of love, that type of obsession towards chasing it. And now you're up. And when those obstacles do come, they may rattle you. They may stagger you, but they won't stop you. You're unstoppable. Welcome back to the show, everybody. So, today I've got a really difficult question for you. Is your will to win for sale? You know, I really believe that of all the things it comes down to in life about winning and making our lives the masterpiece that we want them to be, I really believe will has a lot

22:16 to do with it. And the people that I've been around in my life, they have strong faith obviously, but there's a part of them that has this will to win, this will to want to be somebody that's extraordinary. And for most people in life, I think when they take enough failure, enough setbacks, they will sell their will to win. You know, it's an interesting thing in life about winning. I just want to discuss this with you today. You know, you have to really decide right now and early on in the journey that you can't be bought. You can't be bought with enough success and you can't be bought with enough failure. Most people at the end of the day quit on their dreams usually because there's just so much rejection and so much failure and so

23:02 much let down. You know, I I would love to tell you that winning is pretty and that making your dreams come true for your family is beautiful. But man, I got to tell you on the journey for me, there was so many setbacks. So many times I thought I had it going and then I didn't. I thought we were going to make it and then maybe we weren't. So many people that I thought would be there at the end that weren't. There were people like you probably have had in your life that you really really trusted that then let you down and hurt you. dark nights, sleepless nights, some really difficult mornings with a lot of anxiety and trepidation. Um, you know, if you're going to win, you're going to carry the emotional burden of your business, of your family. And sometimes that burden emotionally just over time is so difficult to carry that most people will

23:49 surrender their will. You know, I really believe that winning has a lot to do with your will to win. It's not always just, you know, having the right strategy or the right people in place. Although you can't win without them, but at some point it comes down to grit and desire and toughness and resiliency and relentlessness. And I call all of those things will. But for most people with enough of it, enough setbacks, enough things, they'll just sell their family's dreams up the river. They'll call it something else, don't they? Well, I didn't get along with somebody or there was this setback or the economy changed or this person screwed me over or whatever the story is that we come up with. All which could be valid, but at some point basically what you're saying is all of that was too much and so I've sold my family's dreams up the river. And I I say it to you that

24:35 harshly because I want when it comes for you for you to avoid it that strongly that I won't let you create a word game that makes you feel like it's okay to take an out, you know, take the door in the back there and get out of here and quit on your dream. That's not what you were born to do. That's not what it was designed for. Part of the game of this winning thing, part of the game of changing your family forever, part of the game of changing how you feel about yourself is really difficult. And it's going to come with all of those things I described and more and shocking setbacks. Every couple two or three years going to be a day where you go, "My gosh." Right? Like that's going to happen. And for most people at one point, they just go, "That's enough. That's enough." And that's why so few people win because theirs is for sale. See, what I would recommend you do is

25:20 negotiate the price tag in advance. See, I believe the price you will pay to make your dream come true, your vision for your life come true is infinitely less than the price you will pay if you don't. The price you pay if you don't make your dream happen, your vision for your life is you live with that forever. And that price I would never be willing to pay. I'll pay any other price as long as it's legal, ethical, and moral. Because the price you will pay to make that dream come true is so worth it. And it is so much less than the price of living with losing forever. With the life you don't deserve, with the people that you don't want around you, with the all of your music still in you. So many people pass away with all their best

26:06 music in them still because of the setbacks or the criticisms or the the things that just didn't go their way or their fears holding them back. You know, the price tags of life are interesting. See, successful people negotiate worth, whether something is worth it, not what the price is or the expense is. If you're focused on the expense, you're always in a really difficult place. I'll give you an example. This is a metaphor, but it makes sense. When I had no money, right, which was most of my life, when I would walk into a store, I wouldn't get what I wanted in the store. I would get what I thought I could afford. And so, what did I do? I flipped the price tags over. I didn't always just get what I wanted. I would, what's the cost? What's the cost? What's the cost? What's the

26:51 cost? I'm sure you've done that as well. It's just really one of the real things in life. What's it cost? I wouldn't get the jacket in there I wanted based on what it cost. So, that's a scarcity mindset, right? And so, instead, when I became a wealthy person, I'm able to walk in that store and get the one that's worth it. What's the one worth it? And in our lives, when we're operating from a weak position, we're operating from a poverty mindset. We're constantly negotiating the price tag of life. What's it going to cost me? What's it going to cost me? What's it going to cost me? And we focus so much on what it's costing us, the pain we're going through, the price we're paying. We're constantly focused on the price we're paying that eventually we just go, I I can't I can't do it. The cost is too great. If you're focused on the cost, you'll eventually lose because the cost is so extraordinary. But if you switch

27:36 that subtly and say, is it worth the price? Is it worth it? you focus more off the cost and onto its worth than you got it. And so, let me ask you, what's your family worth? What are your dreams worth? What's the pride of living the life that you've dreamed of worth to you? And once you focus on the worth, you'll probably pay any price. You'll go through any cost. But you have to negotiate, in my opinion, that price in advance. I think if you wait till you're in the middle of it, you're in big trouble. And so I would challenge you today to negotiate the price you're willing to pay in advance, whatever it is, and then the negotiation is over. So decide now what price you're

28:22 willing to pay or not pay for your family, and just be honest about it. There's a certain place where I'm going to sell my family's dreams up the river. You know what? I'm just going to give up. And that's what most people do in life. They, like I said, they call it something else. They frame it differently. They create a story that makes them feel okay about it. By the way, the only reason I know this is I've done it myself on several different things. This guy screwed me over here. That one let me down. Ah, you know, timing wasn't right, right? Whatever. The bottom line is is that the price became too great for me. Had I negotiated that price in advance, maybe that would have never happened. So, if you focus on what it's costing you all the time, which is what you're doing, and you know it, it's costing me this time, it's costing me this money, it's costing me this experience, it's costing me this, it's costing me that, you're probably going to lose. But if you start to focus on is it worth it? Is the price

29:09 I'm paying worth it? Then you got it. Why is that also matter? Negotiating the price as you're going through the battle in life takes all your energy and your focus. It isn't it constantly a drain on you. Is it worth it? Is it worth it? You're asking yourself this all the time. How do I know? It's what most people do that are trying to do something great. Is it worth it? Is it worth it? Is it worth it? Right? What's it costing me? What's it costing me? You're constantly negotiating. It takes all your energy. It takes all your focus. And so the bottom line is it's better to just to decide today and I would just ask you what's your family worth? What are your dreams worth? What's your life worth? What price are you not willing to pay? Hopefully you don't want to do something illegal or unethical or immoral to do it. But beyond that, what's the price you're willing to pay? And get clear on it. And then just stop negotiating it. Stop

29:55 doing that thing back and forth, those mental gymnastics that you know exactly what I'm talking about. And just decide, I'm going to win. I'm going to pursue this. Whatever comes my way, I've already negotiated it in advance. So although it might be shocking or really painful, I already negotiated that price. I already negotiated it. One of the cool things for me like in my faith is I know the price has already been negotiated for me, right? Like it's already been negotiated. I didn't have to do it. Remember this, change only happens when love is greater than your fear. When love is greater than the price you're paying. What I believe you have to do is you have to start to attach yourself to the love you have for other people. That love because you're such a good person is so much greater than the adversity that will come your way. But what happens when adversity

30:41 comes? We detach from our love for our family, for ourselves, from the people that we want to help. And the love part gets diminished and the fear and pain part gets increased. See, you show me anybody with a big old dream with enough reasons to win and I will show you somebody who's going to win. I believe more than anything in life having big giant compelling reasons why you want to win. The why is so much greater than the how or the what the why is. And relentlessly focusing on that. When the why is big enough, you'll go through the how and you'll figure out the what, right? But in in most cases in life, we don't attach those two things. People say to me all the time, I'm not even sure what will motivate me. I can tell you, do you want to know the two things that'll motivate you in your

31:26 life? I'm going to give them to you right now. You always go, "I lack motivation. I lack inspiration." I can tell you what they are. They're your dreams or other people. Those are the two great motivators in life. Usually, most good people won't do very much stuff for themselves. They just won't. They're too giving. They want to change other people's lives. They love other people. They put other people first. Those are the people that ultimately win long term. So, the two things that will motivate you are your dreams, what your vision is for your life, and other people. Those of you that have children, are you really willing to quit on them? Are you? If you have parents that you love, are you really willing to quit on them? Or do you love them more than any adversity that will come your way? Could you negotiate the price in advance? Say, "Listen, it's worth it because my mom is worth it. It's worth it because my

32:12 children are worth it. It's worth it because my God is worth it. It's worth it because I'm worth it. It's worth it because my dream is worth it. It's worth it because if I make this happen, I can change all these other people's lives. and those lives are worth the price I'm paying. Once you have the thing and the reason, the love for what you want, now you've got the negotiation handled because that is greater than the price. But when this isn't focused on, when the price is greater than the love, when it's greater than the dream, it's difficult. So, one of the examples of that that I've talked about before is Bella's wedding day. Number one key from Bella's wedding day story from many many years ago, 20 years ago, why matters most. You show me somebody with a big enough why, a big enough reason, I will

32:58 show you somebody who will solve for how to do it, for what to do. I will promise you that why is the most important thing. You give a father a story like not being there and the picture, the mental picture in my mind of some strange man that I've never met before, having that first dance and walking Bella down the aisle or wedding day, I'll do anything to make sure that doesn't happen. I'll do anything to be there. And I can tell you I've done just about anything. In fact, my doctors that I'm with right now, part of that journey of staying healthy where I found both of them, Gabrielle and Amy, is because I want to be there on that day and beyond. One of the reasons I'm willing to take this sort of downshift to some extent is yes, I'd love to help more people and yes, I'm going to contribute and yes, we've got one of the number one podcast in the

33:45 world and I'm one of the top speakers and my businesses are growing and all that matters and I want to help all kinds. I want to continue to help millions of people that I've been blessed to help, but not more than I want to be there for Bella's wedding day. And so, number one key is why matters most. And if you say, I don't know what my why is, I can tell you. Let me give you a hack to find your why. Your why will always be your dreams. Whatever your dreams are or other people. Wise can be distilled down always into dreams or other people. Doing something for other people that you love or proving people wrong. And what I will tell you under the why is that love is the biggest force in the world. My will to win is not for sale. So that's why I get up and I work out. That's why I try to do the nutritional program. That's why I'm taking this break from social media and reducing my

34:31 travel schedule because my dream is to be at Bella's wedding day. And my will to win is not for sale on that. I've got to be there. There's no negotiation for me. It's get up and work out. It's make sure you take the right nutritional supplements. It's the doctors say slow down, Ed, and take a break for a while. I do it. There's no negotiation because I belong in that dream. I belong there with Bella on her wedding day. And I like to get to the heart of it, guys. Like, I think the more we water down the reason, the easier it is to have the price take us out. Listen, as I've been doing this video or audio with you. Thousands of people quit on their dreams. Thousands of people quit on their vision every single day. Thousands and thousands of people quit on something. And the reason they quit is the price got too great. And by the way,

35:18 that's okay as long as you've already done the negotiation. But I have a feeling that if I asked you again really closely, how much if your parents are still here, do you want to make them proud of you or take care of them? How about your children or your spouse, these people that you love the most? Maybe it's none of them. Maybe you have a grandparent who that when you were a little boy or a little girl really believed in you, really saw greatness in you, and you want to honor them and make them proud of you as they've gone to heaven and they're looking down on you and you want to make sure that you really prove them right. Right? I won't let you not focus on that today because if I can get you focused on these people you love or these great visions for your life. I think that that is greater than the price you'll pay.

36:05 And so I want to ask you that today one more time. Are you willing to quit on them? Are you willing to give in? Really the only way you can lose in this life is to quit. Only way you can lose is to quit. Now that doesn't mean you shouldn't pivot, innovate, course correct. Those aren't those that's not quitting. That's the pursuit of something and saying, "Listen, what I'm doing isn't working." The definition of insanity is do the same thing over and over again. Expect a different result. I've got to innovate. I've got to pivot. I've got to get a different strategy. Clearly, I think you should be doing that. That's what my show is all about is about strategy and innovation and progress. But the truth of the matter is most people aren't totally committed to their dreams. They're not. They're going to stick their toe in it. I'll stick my toe in it. As long as it's not too painful, doesn't get too difficult, too uncomfortable, take too much from me, be too inconvenient, then I'll pursue it.

36:51 But if it gets too inconvenient, too difficult, too uncomfortable, ah, I'll give in. Let me give you a secret. People ask me all the time about the people that have been on my show that are some of the greatest achievers in life. [sighs and gasps] What do they have in common? And I'm going to be candid with you. Here's what they have in common. They don't have it all figured out. I don't have it all figured out. Um, most everybody, frankly, is pretty screwed up to some extent or another. And we're all just trying to get through this life and figure it out. What they also have in common is they didn't quit on their dreams. And the reason they didn't quit on their dreams is their love of their dream, their love of other people was greater than their fears for their inadequacies. But I can tell you that we all feel inadequate. We all don't feel prepared. We're all sort of faking it to some

37:36 extent, aren't we, in our lives? And I know that shocks most people, but I think it should give you hope. They don't have it all figured out. I don't have it all figured out. But what I have figured out is that I'm willing to go into situations I'm illprepared for because I want to win for the people I love so much. I want to win for me. I want to win for God. I I want to do something great with my life. And so although I don't have it figured out completely, I don't have all the answers. And neither does anybody that's been on my show, anybody you've seen on this show as my guest, most of them don't have the vast majority of it figured out, but they're better at pretending they do. And to the extent that they are good at stepping into spaces they aren't prepared for, but that they can kind of pretend they're prepared for. They got this belief in themselves that if I can get in the room, I will figure it out from there. You know, if you had to know everything

38:22 required to win in life, the truth of the matter is you probably would never get started. If Henry Ford started Ford Motor Company and said, "I have to know everything for the next hundred years for this company." He would have never got started. I mean, who who's supposed to repair these cars? There's nowhere to repair them because there's no dealerships yet. There's no mechanics. What about all the stuff for the tires? You know, how are we going to fix these things? Where are they all going to get fuel from? What are we going to do when there's emission standards? These things didn't even exist then. He couldn't think through every logical problem. He had to just get started. If Steve Jobs and Waznjak when they started Apple, which was basically a board company, would have thought about, well, what the internet comes? What about this the iPhone phone software? What about the Mac? What about they could never think about all of those things? things evolve. You just get into the next room

39:08 and you evolve, right? You get in the next space and you evolve. So, you don't have to know everything. By the way, no one you see that's successful knows everything. But they do have this ability that when they get in the room, they're not negotiating the price anymore. They're negotiating their way into the next room. They're negotiating their way to the next level. They're willing to take the heat and the adversity. And then the other thing is this. You got to resell yourself regularly on the dream. You know, once you have a dream, and you know what I'm talking about. Some of you are years into yours, right? Maybe you just got to resell yourself on the dream. What it's going to mean when you get there, what it's going to look like, how amazing it's going to be. Project into the future. Listen, an idol mind really, really is in pain. It's in jeopardy. But a mind who's saying, "I'm fully focused in the present, but man, the future

39:54 looks so bright. The future's amazing. It's going to be incredible when we get there. Everything's going to be different. We're going to have great change. Our family's never going to be the same. we're going to get to go to this vacation and see this thing and help that many people and feel that emotion and have that memory. The truth of the matter is that your dreams in your life are not a hallucination. I believe they're a gift from God that is a glimpse into what's possible. It's like a possibility projection for your life is when you look into the future. Dreaming is free yet most people don't take advantage of it or they did it once but they haven't resold themselves the dream again. Maybe you need to go touch your dream. take a weekend somewhere where you get clear on this is where we'd love to live or this is what we'd love to drive or this is how I'd love to serve in our church and just take a Wednesday and serve one day in your church and resell yourself. You know,

40:41 most of life the truth is is really selling yourself on things. You're selling yourself something right now. You're selling yourself worries and your fears and you're selling yourself the story of how big a trouble you could be in if this doesn't work out. It's a sales pitch you're doing on yourself. aren't you? It's a story you're telling yourself. There's a narrative that you're starting to speak to yourself. So is the other one. It's reselling yourself on the dream, on the story, on the narrative of where you're going and what it's going to look like. I just feel like in life, a better life is to sell yourself on the future. Sell yourself on how great it's going to be when you get there. Learning to live fully present in the moment. Let me say something. When you're negotiating the price, you're not present.

41:28 You've projected into the future more pain, more difficulty. You're not in the present. So, if you've negotiated it already and you block that off in your mind, you go, I've already decided I'll pay that price. I've already negotiated that. That's already happened for me. Then, and only then, can you sell yourself on where you're going and what it's going to like look like when you get there. And when I say resell yourself, I'm a big believer that you need to touch your dreams. And so, I said this a minute ago, but I want you to understand it. You got to sell yourself on stuff. So, like for example, like where I ended up living in my life, I would take a little vacation there on a weekend for like one night. I'll never forget this. I wanted to live in uh Dana Point, Laguna Beach, California, that area. And so, when I would have a win in my business, I would go to one night at the Ritz Carlton in Dana Point, Laguna

42:14 Beach. Just one night there. And I never had been anywhere like that in my entire life. And I had the feeling of driving up to the valet in my not so great car at the time, but I remember just the feeling. It may sound hokey, but given the valet my keys and Mr. Mylet or you know are you staying here? Yes, your name mylet. Great. You write mylet. I'll never forget the first time the guy wrote mylet on the um the valet tag and he gave it back to me. I saw my name Ritz Carlton uh Laguna Niguel or Lagona Beach and then it said uh mylet. I remember putting that in my pocket and I remember walking into the lobby and like the marble floor. I was like, "Oh my gosh, this is incredible." and and I'd watch how other people walked and talked that belonged there cuz I didn't feel like I belonged there. And then I checked into the hotel and I remember

43:00 back in those days I would go play golf just to be around successful people. And you know my wife would go get a massage and lay out at the pool and then we'd have a nice dinner and I would just touch that dream just for one night maybe every eight weeks just one night. But what started to happen is I started after time over time going I belong here. I belong here. I became comfortable in that dream. And our mind moves towards what it's most familiar with. And then I remember the first speech I gave being super uncomfortable. But I remember the more I did it, the more I felt like I belong here. I'm comfortable here. I moved towards what I was familiar with. And it's interesting, the other place that I would go take my many vacations was to the desert, to the Palm Springs, Lita area of California. And I would go out to this one resort called the Lita Resort. I couldn't

43:46 afford to be there for more than one night, but I'd get a deal on the room, you know, and I would just touch that dream for a night. I remember going, "Wow, these desert nights are so amazing." And then we'd go out there maybe like three months later, but I would touch that dream three or four times a year and I would touch the other one. Do you know that later in life, for many, many years, those are the two places that I lived. I lived in the I lived in that area and I lived in the other one. And I really believe it's because I had touched that dream over and over again. Maybe your dream isn't anything like that. Maybe it's to be, you know, full-time in the charity or full-time in your church. Go take a day off and serve and just feel like it. Maybe do that every three or four months if you can and touch the dream because we move towards what we're most familiar with and we get in life what we believe we deserve and where we believe we belong. And so long term, if you're

44:33 doing this negotiation thing, you just don't believe you belong there. And at some point, there's going to be enough pain that's going to prove you right. You're going to go, I knew I didn't belong here. I knew this wasn't for me. I knew this was for other people. I knew I'm an imposttor. I knew I was faking it. What am I crazy? And I have to tell you, I have this happen all the time. Like I I have something I'm doing right now in my life. It's a very major project. It's uh it's a property that I'm developing. And there's a lot of difficulty with it. And every time that difficulty comes up, I go, "What am I doing? Am I crazy? That's not for me. That's for someone way wealthier, way more successful than me." like and I have this thing where like I want to surrender, [snorts] right? I'm I'm negotiating it. So, I'm not perfect at this stuff. And so, a lot of times when adversity strikes, it's like proving you right. The price is too

45:19 great. The price is too great. I'm literally going through this right now with something. And I have to remind myself, I I'm reselling myself on the future. I'm actually today, tomorrow, I go visit that place just to resell myself on the dream of being there. Just to resell myself on the vision. It's so easy when you have a vision and a dream, right? And you have it. So, you establish a plan and a goal and then you start going through the stuff and you feel like further and further away from the vision and the dream and why you did it in the first place and the inspiration behind it and you're more and more focused on the price. So, today's podcast I literally designed for me, right? It's the price. I'm like, gosh, it's taking a toll on me physically. It's taking a toll on me emotionally, right? financially.

46:04 Yet, it's my dream. It's my dream. And so, I've got to come back and go, I I love this dream. I love the experiences I'll have with my friends and family more than the price right now. Stop negotiating the price, Ed. You already negotiated this price. Your love for these people and this place and the memories that'll happen there are greater than your fears and your worries. And then I'm reselling myself by going back because our mind moves towards what we're most familiar with. So if we're most familiar with our fears and our worries and our concerns, we're going to move towards it. It's like a magnet. Thoughts are magnets. They pull us towards what we're focused on. So it's very dangerous to focus on all the pain, all the price, all the cost all the time because you're going to move towards more of it. But if you focus on how worth it is, remember this cost

46:50 versus worth, right? Then you can say, "My will to win is not for sale. I can't be bought. You can't be bought with enough success and it can't be bought with enough failure. You know, many people are bought with success. They have a dream, they get a little bit of it, and then they're bought. Their will's gone. They don't want to work like they used to work cuz they've got a little taste of success. They got a little taste of progress. Those people end up paying a greater price later when it goes backwards and they have to start all over again. So, don't let success take your will to win and don't let failure take your will to win. I think basically today my message to you was you got to decide right now what you're willing to pay for a price and not. And once you've decided it, don't revisit it. Don't revisit it. Just make the decision that you're going to will this to happen. Get some prayer about it. Get some clarity about it. Feel like you've

47:37 got a conviction over it. You know, get your mind empty. Meditate a little bit. Get clear. And then ask yourself, is this really my dream? And if it is, start reselling yourself all the time on that dream that it's worth it. That you belong there. I'm going to say something to you that I want you to never forget. You belong in your dreams. Your big, bold, God-sized dreams. Those aren't hallucinations. Those are visions of what's possible in your life. And I want to tell you, I believe you belong in those dreams. You do not belong in your fears. You do not belong in the negotiation. You do not belong in your worries. You belong in your dreams, the big ones and the small ones. But I think especially the big god-sized dreams and most of those dreams are how you want to feel about yourself, the emotions you want to experience, the memories you want to have, I believe are the things

48:23 that most matter to us. It's not the thing or the house or the this. It's how we want to feel. And I believe you deserve to feel that way about you. And never give in to a price that tells you you're not willing to do it or worthy of having it in your life. Welcome back to the show, everybody. It's so great that we're going to spend some time together today. And as I do on every solo episode, I try to make it something that can really improve or change your life. And I've been getting a lot of questions. Team's been telling me about habits and do I have any unique daily habits that I wanted to share with you. And so I'm going to do that today. Today I'm going to give you 20 very unique habits that I do on a daily basis. And some of them I just really started doing that have kind of moved the needle or made a difference in my life. Some of them are very simple and some of them

49:10 are changes from other things I've taught before. You know, as you learn new information, you change hopefully in life. One of the things I admire about great leaders is when they say, "Well, I've got more information or new information. I've changed my mind." And so, there's a couple things today I'm going to share with you that I've never really shared before that are a little bit different as well. And some of them are pretty basic things. But the reason I think habits matter so much is that our brain is trying to all the time create habits so that it can conserve energy. It doesn't want to spend energy. So, it's always building habits. And habits matter because if we can conserve energy or put ourselves into a routine rather, we end up having more predictable behavior, more predictable results. And habits are something that when we're under pressure, we respond with habits reflexively. So, the better your habits, the better your routines,

49:56 typically the better your life. And so I'm going to take you through some very basic things I do that you would think don't make a difference, but they do because they save me time about thinking and I can take my focus and generate it to the things that matter. I don't want to deplete my energy or my focus to having to make decisions about stuff that I could have just predetermined with a habit or a routine. And so these are some very simple things, some of them aren't so simple that I do on a daily, maybe 20 of them, okay? Some of them you probably already do and some of them you probably definitely don't do. Do you need to do all of them? No. But I'm sharing with you what I do that works for me. Okay. So, here we go. 20 habits that I can improve or change your life. Number one, I make a to-do list the night before for the next day and no

50:43 more than six things on it. I'm a big to-do list person. So, in the evening before I go to bed when I'm winding down, I make I look at my day that's coming up the next day and I make a to-do list. I love checking things off lists. I love being focused. I love not having to think. I don't want to forget things. And so the night before I make a to-do list for the following day. I put no more than six things on it. Now, by the way, most of my days I get a whole lot more than six things done. But these are six non-negotiable things. Sometimes it's three, sometimes it's five, sometimes it's two. If I'm in a busy day, maybe it's one, but no more than six things because there's just too many things and you can create overwhelm. So the night before I write down the six things I'm going to get done the next day. Why do I do that? Well, I wake up with a plan. I wake up with autopilot.

51:29 Also, I believe that when you write these things down the night before, your subconscious mind, your unconscious mind even, can go to work on the strategy, on putting it together, on the things, the thoughts, the places, etc. that you may need to make those things a reality the next day. And it just creates structure. If you want to know what the people that I coach have in common or successful people that I have on the show or that are friends of mine, they have created structures around themselves that allow failure to have a very difficult time creeping in. And so the people that have a lot of money, they can create a lot of those structures with teams and staffs and employees and people around them and handlers and those kind of things. But for most people, they don't have the money to do it. And so they've got to create that within themselves. And so, number one

52:15 habit for me, not in any order, by the way, not in priority, just 20 of them. Number one, make a to-do list the night before with the things you're going to get done the next day. Number two habit I've established over the last few years. It's really made a difference for me, is I make a video every morning to three friends. And I call it the let me tell you about you video. It takes me just a few minutes long. And I just make a quick selfie video to three friends every day. And it could just be, "Hey, Joe, I love you, brother. just want to let you know I was thinking about you this morning and these are the things I think about you. These are the things I'm focused on. This is what I'm praying for you. Just wanted you to know you're on my mind. And then usually tell them two or three things I love about him or that I'm focused on or remind them of a previous conversation. Make three of those every single day. Just I put that out into the world. I start my day with contribution. I start my day with love.

53:01 I start my day with gratitude for these people, thanking them for being in my life. Some of them are very good friends that I've known a long time. Sometimes it's someone I met the previous day, but I had a very powerful meeting with. Hey, I just want to tell you how much I enjoyed our meeting yesterday. I'm looking forward to building our friendship or building our business relationship. What I loved about our conversation was this. What I loved about you was X, Y, or Z. Sometimes it's my best friends. And I'll say, just a reminder, let me tell you about you. You're the kindest, most brilliant, most generous, most funny, most beautiful, most whatever, blah blah blah blah blah. And I make three of those every day. It usually takes me 10 minutes to make three one or two minute long videos for my friends. It's something that I do daily to put out into the world. I know my friends look forward to it. Starts my day with a gift, with contribution, with the highest frequency, with love. And so

53:48 I do that every day. I recommend you do some version of this every day. Just take you a minute. It'll change people's lives. And what you put out into the world comes back to you, right? You can't give to somebody that which you're not experiencing yourself and you can't receive it. So when you put love and gratitude out and just touch people's lives, the likelihood of that coming back to you, the law of reciprocity in your day is much higher and it just puts you in the right state. Number three thing I do randomly every day. I take a daily walk. I believe walking is one of the greatest things you can do for

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