Brief Summary
The speaker discusses the impact of social media on our lives, highlighting how it disconnects us from real-life interactions, shortens our vocabulary, and promotes a curated, often unrealistic, version of ourselves. She emphasizes the importance of being present, making human connections, and teaching genuine interaction, advocating for a screen-free hour each day to reclaim our focus and relationships.
- Social media has led to a decrease in close friendships.
- People present idealized versions of themselves online.
- Texting while driving is a leading cause of teen deaths.
- The speaker advocates for a screen-free hour each day.
The speaker begins by humorously asking the audience to power down their devices and thanks state.com for the permission to use a video. She then presents a montage of social media posts and interactions, setting the stage for her discussion on the impact of social media on our lives.
The speaker discusses how social media is disconnecting us. Referencing a Gallup poll, she notes a significant decrease in the number of close friends people report having, from an average of 10 in 2001 to just two in the current year. She observes families and couples absorbed in their phones while physically together, suggesting that people on the other end of the screen are perceived as more important than those present. Citing a study by Mary Maker, the speaker mentions that people check their phones an average of 150 times a day and upload 1.8 billion pictures to Facebook daily. She contrasts this with the simpler times of pagers and answering machines, where there was more control over communication.
The speaker addresses the shortened vocabulary used in texting and social media, such as "OMG," "LOL," and "WTF." She argues that this abbreviation risks losing the nuances, subtleties, and intimate parts of our personalities, potentially hindering our ability to fully express ourselves and communicate effectively. She also touches on the anxiety many people feel when receiving a personal phone call, preferring the convenience of texting.
The speaker poses a question to the audience about whether they could leave their phone for an hour, highlighting the panic that arises at the thought of being without our devices. She shares a personal anecdote about her Blackberry, which she humorously refers to as a "crack berry," and her experience at an Apple Store, illustrating the difficulty of transitioning away from addictive technology.
The speaker cites a study from the Cohen Children Medical Center, stating that texting while driving is now the number one cause of death for teens, surpassing drinking and driving. She recounts a conversation with high school students about texting at stop signs and stoplights, emphasizing that no message is worth risking lives. She provides a stark example: looking at your phone for just 5 seconds while driving at 55 miles per hour is equivalent to driving the length of a football field blind.
The speaker broadens the discussion to include adults, noting that we are constantly at work and constantly connected, leading to distraction. She points out the expectation to remain connected even during vacations. She highlights the pressure to know about each other's lives through social media posts and the tendency to present an idealized version of ourselves on platforms like Facebook.
The speaker shares an anecdote about high school students strategically timing their Instagram posts to maximize traffic and the emotional turmoil caused by the number of likes received. She emphasizes that we have become our own public relations firms, constantly trying to increase our numbers and presenting a curated version of ourselves online, contrasting it with who we really are in real life.
The speaker critiques the culture of selfies, describing them as a sad invention where we take pictures of ourselves by ourselves. She humorously mentions bathroom selfies and the phenomenon of "selfing" one's way through parties. She references the Oscar selfie that crashed Twitter and contrasts it with the inappropriate funeral selfie, highlighting the absurdity and potential disconnect of this trend.
The speaker concludes by advocating for a return to human connection, suggesting that we would live better lives with "Hands to Hold rather than keys to click." She encourages the audience to take a pause, engage in simple activities, and gaze at the clouds. She emphasizes that change starts from within and that we can teach our kids what life was like before screens dominated our existence. She suggests using social media to create positive face-to-face groups and organizations, promoting "people activism" rather than "#activism." She urges everyone to look up, see their neighbor, put their phones away, and make human connections, treating human interaction as essential as breathing. Finally, she challenges everyone to take a screen-free hour each day and share the message.
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Transcript
Full transcript of “How social media makes us unsocial | Allison Graham | TEDxSMU”. Click a timestamp to open the video at that moment. Need another video? Use the YouTube transcript generator.
0:16 hi thank you very much uh I'd like to start out by asking everyone to power down their devices during my talk and for those of you that don't know the power buttons either on the top or on the side of your phone I'd also like to thank the guys from state.com for permission to use this video I want to post about how great this coffee is but I can't think of a funny way to say it this post is like a page long how do I shorten this just take out all the vowels still still be like a seriously hey guys you on Twitter follow me sometimes I want to move to another country where would have to deal with this stuff # photo of the day # quit just
1:03 kidding # multitasking # squirm # road trip dudes not while you're driving man # YOLO is anybody even going to read this fast coffee friends subscribe what's up Facebook follow look my new shoes unfollow I love cop we're going viral driving selfie third world nobody [Music] cares I'm going to hide all of you dude I made the popular [Music] page so I want to talk about three things tonight how social media is disconnecting us what's happening now
1:49 and how we can do better Gallup took a poll in 2001 and every average American said that they had 10 really close friends the same poll this year said we had two so what happened where did everybody go and I think we know where I think we've all seen this by now maybe even been a little guilty of it ourselves I see families like this out to dinner all the time and it drives me nuts and I see couples on dates clearly together but on their cell phones it's one of the strangest things I've ever seen but to me what does it say when we are together to me it says that there's someone anyone on the other
2:34 end of the screen that's way more important than you who's right in front of my face there's a study by Mary maker that says we touch our phones or check our phones 150 times a day and we upload 1.8 billion pictures to Facebook that's a little over a six of the population a day for pictures remember when the internet was new those of us that do that was really actually only about 25 years ago if you can imagine I remember when we had pagers time seemed a little simpler back then you'd get the beep you may return the call you may not return the call or when we had answer machines you could always
3:20 say that you weren't home now we have a list of all these excuses that may or may not work but it seems like the more we talk about how how technology divides us the more we demand from it and I think that's a huge risk that we're running in our society today we have this shortened vocabulary now it's all about the texting even my mom she says just text me and she's a little bit older I won't say because she'll see this later so OMG oh my goodness LOL laugh out loud WTF why the
4:06 face so when we abbreviate our vocabulary what we risk is losing the nuances subtleties and intimate parts of our personalities that make up our very rich American vocabulary and with that shortening we lose and run the risk of not being able to fully express ourselves and communicate as we move forward and that losing our vocabulary equals a potential loss of being able to express ourselves how many times does anybody look in horror when their cell phone rings with the personal call a whole conversation starts happening in your head when it rings Tiffany why is Tiffany calling what does
4:51 Tiffany want why is she calling me and then you have that last ringtone moment where you know know you have to pick up that phone or let it go to a voicemail you may or may not check hey Tiffany what's up the whole time thinking she could have completely texted this whole message to me if I asked everybody in here if they could take their phone set it down and walk away for an hour could you do it an immediate sense of panic comes over us we will turn the car around even if we are halfway to our Des ation just to go back and get our cell phones I had a Blackberry which I adored
5:38 and I kept it for a really long time but you guys remember when we had blackberries don't you what did we call them back then that's right crack berries so it's no surprise where we've landed ourselves now so I took my Blackberry into the Apple Store when everybody else had their Apple phone and the transition was more than I could bear experiencing phone shame and I went in and of course it was completely jam-packed at the Apple Store and this cute kid comes up to me and he's like may I help you and I said yes you can I would like a phone that could do this so I took my Blackberry and I threw it on the ground pop pop pop it goes all the way across the store everybody just
6:24 stops in the store gasps and I walk over and I pick it up and I said see the screen's fully intact and it still works and he just looked not missing a beat and he said we don't have a phone that can do that a new study out by the Cohen Children Medical Center in new hide Park their study says this year that texting while driving is now the number one cause of death for teens more than drinking and driving so what this this means is there's a lot of drunks on the road I was speaking to some high school students and of course you know they're always willing to make some sort of bargain and they raised their hand and
7:10 they said well what if you're at a stop sign or what if you're at a stoplight and I said my message was I don't think there's really anything that can't wait until we get to our destination and don't forget if you send that text at the stop sign they're probably going to text you back while you're driving so maybe not the best idea and I'll give you example if you're driving 55 miles an hour and you look down at your phone for 5 seconds you've just now driven the length of an entire football field completely blind and it's not just our kids it's us as well we are constantly at work constantly constantly connected and constantly
7:55 distracted every every one of us thinks of some sort of extreme vacation we need to go on where we may say to our bosses you know I'm going to go to on a very extreme vacation there's just absolutely no way I can return anything during the day but you're still expected to go back to the hotel and return your work emails so if we as adults are this distracted our kids are seeing this we're always at work and where are they always on their devices and how many times have you guys heard what do you mean you don't know I posted it on Facebook so for some reason now we're all supposed to know about each other's lives because they posted it on Facebook and I don't know that you climb Mount
8:42 Kilimanjaro you didn't tell me last week when we were at brunch and and what do we present really when we are on Facebook we present an idic life perfect parenting great relationships we hardly ever give any bad news or copy about ourselves because that doesn't make for a lot of likes different High School group I was speaking to and they raised their hand and educated me on something I didn't know they said you know we wait until 5 o'clock before we post our Instagram pictures because that's when we know all of our friends are out and we'll get the most traffic I thought that was pretty interesting and then they started talking a little bit more about how they
9:28 get jealous so if one person gets more likes on Instagram than the other then they just take it down so there's all this emotional turmoil and strife going on with our number of likes somehow equaling our self-esteem we are all our own public relations firms always trying to figure out how we can increase our numbers work sometimes demands that from us as well certainly we do that a lot in our personal life and this is what we present on on faceb I mean here's who we really are in real life and this is what we present on Facebook guilty a little bit of it we have the selfie now and if you think about a selfie it's
10:15 rather a sad invention it's a us taking a picture of ourselves by ourselves maybe we can get two more people if somebody really has a long arm the bathroom selfie I find this hilarious I I see it all the time I'm like oh great that's you in front of a mirror great going to a party I probably was not invited to that you're going to be selfing your way through while I watch Home Alone on Facebook we have the Oscar selfie that was a lot of fun that uh crashed the Twitter feed I think most people know and then we have uh the funeral selfie not so fun um she looks very unpleased
11:00 and we have the driving selfie because I mentioned research shows that won't kill you at all I think we would all live life better if we had Hands to Hold rather than keys to click thank you thank you I think we need to take that pause in our life make mud pies build a fort take the time to gaze at the clouds for rhinoceroses and unicorns screen free and if change starts from within we are that change we can be that change and teach our kids what it was like
11:45 before we live life in front of a screen we can use social media to create positive face-to-face groups and organizations and meeting places like we have tonight not hash # activism but people activism we need to look up and see who our neighbor is we need to look up and put that phone away make a human connection teach human interaction as if it were as important as the very breath we breathe look up at me look up at each other and look up at you and I'm gonna ask everyone in here
12:33 to take a screen-free challenge unplug for one hour a day and if you like this message please share it thank you very much
