I fell in love with my MARRIED neighbor - REACTION

0:00 I fell in love with my married neighbor and then I babysat his kids. Now I'm questioning my feelings. This story was originally posted in true off my chest. Okay, so first of all, I'm new to Reddit, so sorry if there's any mistakes or something. I would safe to say that there would be some mistakes, but it's not your writing, babes. Sorry. I obviously can't talk about this with any of my friends or my mom, but then I saw a Reddit post on TikTok, and I thought this would be a good place to talk about this. Finally, I know you're all going to judge me, but at least try to understand my side. Thanks. Okay, I always do try to understand. I can still say you made a mistake, though. I made a mistake. So, I'm a 34year-old woman, and

0:45 7 months ago, I had a messy breakup with my long-term boyfriend. So, I moved in with my best friend and her husband in a house we are all renting together. Oh god. Okay, it's not it's not the best friend's husband. Thank God. I'm sorry. Girl, you just about gave me a heart attack. It was then that I met my neighbor, who I will call K. He helped us move our stuff into the house, and I was instantly smitten. We live in the suburbs of a major city, so we both end up taking the train into work at the same time each day. I knew Kay had a wife and kids very early on. He talked about them often and pictures of them on his lock screen, social media, etc. However, initially it all started out as a very innocent, silly crush.

1:32 [Music] He is handsome and funny and sweet. The first time we rode the train, he asked me about my job and seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying, which is something my ex never did and is something we fought over a lot. I mean, being a nice guy doesn't imply that he likes you. Isn't that sad? Isn't it sad that it's come to that? And it's not just like men or it happens across the board. We are so starved for someone being nice to us and actually listening to us that we mistake it for them having feelings. I actually dealt with this a lot. I like to think I'm a pretty chatty person. I like to have,

2:17 you know, platonic chats with people, whatever. But even just having like a platonic chat with a dude, often times it would result in them kind of thinking that I liked them or maybe their wives or girlfriends thinking that I liked them when it's literally just talking. We're out at a bar. We happen to be standing next to each other. It's odd and it's sad. It's sad. He's always doing things for his kids, like bringing home treats and stuff for them and staying on the phone with his older daughter the entire ride to work because she needed a pep talk before a school presentation. It was just so easy to imagine how lovely and attentive Kay would be with me because he's like that with everyone else. This is the thing. This is the thing. Okay, this plays into the whole like is does he really like me

3:04 or is he just like that with everyone else? He's just that kind of person, babes. And he's not the only one like that. There's plenty of people out there who are not married that would be like that with you. There's plenty of other fish in the sea. It's good that you now know that it's possible for someone you like to be that way because it sets the standard for someone that you know is actually available. It doesn't mean that this is a good enough reason to fall in love with somebody. Kay has never said or done anything to imply he has feelings for me yet, but we are genuinely friends by now because we talk on the train, which is about a 20-minute ride almost every weekday. I have never had trouble getting the attention of men. And with this basis we have already, I know that we could easily

3:49 become something more. Wait, am I delusional? I'm sorry, that's not good enough. I learned shortly after I developed feelings for him that his wife is someone I went to school with, and I was surprised because they are polar opposites. He's funny. She's dry. He's exciting. She's cautious. He's a little dumb. She's very smart intellectually. I mean, that doesn't necessarily mean that you would make a better partner. You're also looking at it through a different lens where you're comparing each other. And you cannot compare. You don't know her on the level that he knows her. Lookswise. This feels mean, but yikes. Oh no. I just don't think their personalities fit very well together at all. And I can easily see Kay getting stuck in a relationship because he's just so nice. Or, you know, maybe she's

4:36 just a really good person. I never thought of it that way before. And he wanted to spend his life with someone like that. And because he's so nice, I doubt that he would ever do this to his wife and kids. The issue is is that yesterday evening, Kay knocked on my door and asked if I could watch his kids for a bit. This was, of course, no trouble, and I said yes right away. He told me that his wife had gotten into a car accident while away on a business trip and because she's pregnant, he was super worried and had booked the next flight out to go see her. They don't have any family in the state currently. So, he asked me to keep an eye on them for a few hours while a family friend drove several hours to watch them at night. I think it's very interesting that he is reminding you constantly about his wife, talking about his kids in front of you, talking to his kids in

5:22 front of you. He's constantly reminding you that he's taken. Did this get deleted? It got deleted. It got deleted. Oh my goodness. I feel like this is the only place where it's actually live. Now, here's the issue. The kids were an absolute nightmare. There were three girls and the oldest was your typical bratty pre-teen times 1,000. She was rude and didn't respect my authority at all, arguing with me about everything from dinner to who had to clean up to what movies she was allowed to watch. I even heard her call me a b- word under her breath a couple of times. You raggedy The middle was rowdy and constantly wanted to play loud, messy games, even when I told her no. The youngest was mostly sweet and quiet on her own, but she joined in with whatever

6:08 drama the middle wanted to create. It culminated in me agreeing to play hide-and-seek with the younger two and ended up getting locked out of the house. Oh my. I wonder if they kind of know about you. I wonder if they know how you feel about their dad. I I don't know. It would be interesting if they picked up on that and are now treating you as such. When I went back and tried to convince the oldest to let me in through the back screen door, she pretended she couldn't hear me and put her headphones in. Thankfully, the family friend arrived a few minutes later and let me in. And then I went home. This makes me sad because before I would often dream about being a stepmom to Kay's kids one day because of how highly he would talk about them. You crazy. Now I want nothing to do with them. But at the same time, this is further proof that Kay and his wife are not happy because children from a happy home do not behave like

6:54 this. Oh, girl. Ooh, girl. Girl, girl. I mean, it's interesting that this took the rosecolored glasses off because you can bet your bottom dollar that if he ever if let's let's say hypothetically if you and this guy started dating and he divorced his wife, this is a glimpse in how they would treat you as a stepmom. Let's say they don't know a thing about you and they don't know how you feel. If this is how they behave when they don't know a thing, imagine how they'll behave if they in their heads think that you stole their dad from their mom. You're in big trouble, mister. I'm actually very glad that this happened. I feel like this is a sign because like I think before this, you

7:41 had a different perception of what it would be like to be a stepmom. This is a blessing. Trust me. I just want to have a relationship with Kay, but I don't know if it's possible because his kids and I would not get along. And this is even before a potential divorce where their mother could easily get them to hate me. I love the fact that you're you're imagining all this. The dulu is strong with this one. I really love Kay and I know we could have a beautiful relationship if I pursued this, but this has really shaken me. I just wish I had someone to talk to about this, but everyone in my life would judge me. Oh dear. I don't know, man. I I think that this was a reality check. I think we can mistake infatuation for love based on the fact that you don't really know that guy. Okay. Stranger danger. Stranger

8:27 danger. Apart from the 20 minutes per day that you spend on the train with him. You don't really know him that well. You're putting him on a pedestal in your head and you're falling in love with the idea and possibly the fact that he's untouch like you know you can't have him. But I don't think that the reality of this situation is what you want. Notable comment exchange. Honestly, it doesn't sound like you love him. You romanticize him and have this fantasy life in your head. In your head, you act like he would drop his wife and run away with you. You justify this belief by saying his children are wild, so it must be an unhappy home. They're just kids. They're teenage girls. Like, e, they're prepubescent girls. They're monsters. Like, I was a monster. I know for a fact firsthand. I'm still a

9:12 monster. Meanwhile, you completely ignore the fact that his wife is pregnant and he dropped everything to go to her. Yeah, this is so true. Like, he has a pregnant wife. He's giving you every inclination. He's telling you that he loves his wife. You say the kids do not respect your authority. It sounds like they barely know you and suddenly you're in charge. You're not their mother and will never be their mother. And and even if she was, you know, their stepmother, they still won't accept her authority because they would rather their mother be with their dad. No one would make that connection. You think you will have a beautiful relationship with Kate if you pursued him? No, you wouldn't. He has a family that he clearly loves. Just because he's nice to you, that doesn't mean he wants you. I encourage you to discuss things

9:57 with a professional because this is not healthy. OP responds, "How do you know whether or not I love him? Are you inside my head?" You can love someone before being in a relationship with them. I mean, you can be infatuated with someone. I firmly believe that you can't truly say that you love someone unless you've seen all the bad things. You've had fights. You live with them. Love is about not only loving the good things, but also the downfalls of another person and willing to look past those things and loving them regardless and maybe even seeing the beauty in those things. Love you. Love is not, you know, having like a high school crush on your teacher or your married neighbor. And just like I don't know for sure that he loves me,

10:44 you don't know that he doesn't. You never know until you cross that bridge. But in order to cross that bridge, you have to in like you have to no, don't cross the bridge. That is one bridge that you do not want to cross. I know he wouldn't just drop everything and run away with me. There would be months and even years of divorce, court, custody arrangements, etc. if he decided to leave his wife. And before the comments come, yes, I know there's no guarantee that he would do that, but Kay is a good, honest man, which is exactly why he won't cheat on his wife. Use your head. And if anything were to happen between us, he would absolutely leave his wife. No, because it wouldn't be fair to either of us. And he told me he believes very strongly in fairness. Oh, girl, you're the exact type of woman that makes me afraid. Afraid? It's this kind of delusion that like scares me.

11:31 Peekaboo. I see you. Because a good, honest man that is just straight up nice can still be chased by someone who doesn't care that his wife is pregnant, doesn't care that he has kids, doesn't care he's in a happy marriage, will still try something. And even you trying something with him, if that ever gets back to his wife, you're going to cause problems for them. All based on what? That he's a nice guy to you. I do empathize with you. I do because it's like how how bad must the situation you're in be for you to mistake kindness with him being interested? That's not good. That's sad. And I I get where you're coming from. I do. I've been in situations where you're just starved for

12:16 some form of kindness from someone that you like because everybody else is horrible to you. There's nothing about this whole scenario that doesn't make me so disgusted. I want to violently vomit out my own internal organs. But this is not the way to go. That's why I'm asking. I know this could be a messy situation if anything happened. I just want to know if his kids being difficult will make things worse if it does happen. I want to know if the potential pros outweigh the potential cons. It doesn't really sound like you feel bad about how you feel at all. It kind of just seems like you're worried about how this will affect you and not like his wife and children. [Applause] I imagine this lady went in there acting like she was going to be their new stepmom and probably creep the kids out. Not even just that, like their mom just got in a car accident. They could have

13:02 been acting out because of that as well. But yes, I would agree that like or they've seen you around their dad and they felt weird about it. Like kids are smart. Like they can pick up on the vibes. They know. I don't know what I just read, but this man's wife just got into a car accident. You're fantasizing about their divorce. Literally, she does not care if this woman lives or dies and a relationship with him and being his kid's stepmom. Honestly, are you okay? Just because he asked you about your work does not mean he likes you. Get a grip. Not just about his wife, his pregnant wife. Yes. Ew. It's people like you that back in the day we call home wreckers. Stay away from that man. It is women like the one who made this post that just like it it makes you very very terrified of like what could potentially

13:47 happen. Like as much as you trust your your spouse, it makes you wonder like it it lets you see into the mind of someone who would do something like this and and it just goes to show this woman does not care about the repercussions of her actions. She's boy crazy. She's literally boy crazy. She does not care if the wife lives or dies, the fact that she's pregnant, the fact that she's in a car accident. All she cares about is the validation of some man that was nice to her. Are you serious? Cray crate. Oh, that was a good one. Oh my goodness. I don't know how we're going to top that ever, honestly. Um, but you are the a-hole. I know you didn't ask, but you are. Oh my god. Oh my god. Hold on. Hold on. K saw the post. The married man saw

14:33 the post. Oh my god. Okay. Image transcript of screenshot. Okay. So, this was deleted. All right. So, I'm going to share what this said. My wife and the girls are okay. Thank you for watching the girls. OP, of course. Anytime. Let me know if there's anything I can do. Kay says thumbs up emoji. K sends the post the link. I can't look. Is this you? Because if it is, we need to talk. I promise you, I have absolutely no interest in leaving my family for you. I'm sorry if I ever gave you the wrong idea, but I don't see you as anything more than a neighbor. I don't think we should be friends anymore. OP says, "Wait, can I call you?" How are you not?

15:20 Oh my goodness. Ooh, that was a spicy one. Holy crap. Oh my goodness. This honestly this this is one of the best best outcomes. This is way better than anything I could have imagined. Oh my god. First comment. This is the best best of Reddit update I have ever read. It is. Oh my gosh. All right. Now, we're going to hear from someone else. Post was also deleted. You know, there's tea when the post was deleted. How can I manage the resentment my girlfriend, 25 female, and I, 42 male, have for each other? I know I'm going to get a lot of crap for the absurd age gap. I did look at that age gap and I was like like it's not horrible, but it's also like side

16:07 eye and the way we started and I agree. I deserve it, but I would really like some genuine advice past going to counseling. She won't agree and I can't afford it. Help me. I'm poor. Tangible things I can work on and introduce to help us get past this either as a couple or as effective co-parents. Long story short, my ex-wife and I were together since middle school. We have four daughters in their teens. I was a stay-at-home dad and a part-time worker for most of my life until my youngest was in middle school. My ex agreed to invest in a passion project business of mine. I hired a receptionist. Don't don't say it. We started an affair and she baby trapped me. Now we're living together and have a young son. What? So, let me guess. Your wife funded your dream and you repaid her bying your

16:53 receptionist. She resents me because she feels she was fooled. She saw me as a business owner who had a nice car, nice clothes, took her to nice places, etc. Oh my god, this is so good. Oh, thank God. This is tea. This is some tea right here. Let me guess. Let me guess. Now that she knows it's your wife, your ex-wife, that is the reason you appear that way. She doesn't like you anymore. She thought she was getting a rich guy. She didn't. She got a dead beat. a scrub, if you will, cuz I don't want no scrubs. She thought I was rich, so she got pregnant on purpose. Admitted it, not an assumption. Oh my god, you deserve each other. I swear to God. Hoping to use me to not work and sponsor her family from overseas. Well, actually, my ex-wife and her family are

17:40 the rich ones. None of our homes were in our names. We were renting from her parents and giving them a nominal fee with the expectation that these homes would be left to my ex and me after their death. This allowed my ex's salary, 150k, not huge in the high cost of living area, to stretch and we lived a really good life. I left our marriage with half our savings, $25,000, and my personal property and a car. I lost my business due to lack of funding and I did not seek alimony. You suck. I resent her because I feel I was fooled. I thought she loved me and couldn't believe the interest a young hot woman showed in me. Don't believe it. She was incredibly persistent and pursued me strongly. But she has no feelings for me, no care or desire. Now that the

18:25 roose is dropped, I can't believe I gave up my entire life for what I saw was an ego trip. I loved my ex-wife. I really did and still do. But I never had been with another woman and any attempts to open our relationship were shot down. This was like a wet dream come true. And I was weak. I'm too weak. Oh my goodness. I mean, I'm not going to lie. I feel like you got exactly what you deserved. Now both me and my girlfriend are in a place we didn't imagine. She's living in a crappy apartment with an old man and still has to work. I've lost my kids, the love of my life, my family, my lifestyle, my business, and that's all 100% my own fault. At least you're self-aware. She stopped being intimate with me as soon as she found out I wasn't rich. Trying not to laugh. We're still together on my end because I feel like I need to have something to

19:11 show for this crap show of a situation. At least I got a son and a partner out of it. At least it wasn't for nothing. And also because I don't trust her with our son. She would never agree to give me full custody and she's not a good mother. I would be worried for his safety and the people she would have him around. I honestly don't know why she hasn't left me from her end. What can I do to improve this situation? I know logically it would be best to break up and co-parent, but I'm afraid for my son and I'm embarrassed for myself. Is there a way to salvage this? I'm thinking of just telling her we can have an open relationship. She can giggity whoever she wants and go wherever she wants as long as she lives here. So I can have my son 100% of the time. I work from home. I don't know if that's the answer here, though. I don't even know what to do, man. Like, I literally have no advice for you because like I would like that's

19:56 I'm speechless. So, I I I I don't know what to say. I I I just I'm speechless. And rarely does that happen. Genuinely, how can you salvage this situation? I don't know. I genuinely don't. Maybe someone in the comments has advice for you. You are both awful people. You're not partners. So, stop faking it. If you think she can't take care of your son, get a lawyer and fight for custody, babes. He doesn't have the money for a lawyer. Okay, that's why it's like, I don't know what to do here. Be civil to each other and pray that your son doesn't grow up to be even half of a screw-up as you both are. Oh, death code. Yeah, it's very interesting that you and this woman that you had an affair with were both so greedy, you know, like you had it all. You really did. You had everything you wanted and more. You had, you know, a wife and children and and a and a like a rich

20:44 wife, a rich family. She invested in your dreams and you got greedy. Well, my my my and and you wanted more. That wasn't enough for you. But the irony is the person that you wanted also didn't want you. She was also greedy. Life uh finds a way. This is divine intervention, I swear. I also love how you like low-key kind of blamed your ex-wife for like not wanting an open relationship with you. Oh, it's her fault I cheated because she didn't let me other people. Dude, why does it need to get to this point? It never ends well. I'm sorry. It doesn't universe's way of honestly dramatic irony. I swear. Irony.

21:30 He's also blaming everybody else, you know. He's like, "Oh, she baby trapped you. You chose to have an affair. You're the one." Yes. Exactly. He seems to be blaming everyone. Honestly, you sound like a narcissist. Like, I'm not going to diagnose anybody, but you know, he's making himself the the victim in every situation and making everybody It's everyone else's fault but his own. Like, yes, he said, "Oh, it's my fault." But at the same time, he's blaming everyone else still. We do have an update. Good news. My girlfriend and I have broken up. Good. I'm only worried about what happens to the kid now. She's gone back to her home country and left my son with me. Good. Good. Good. Refuse to sign any formal custody agreement, so I'm hoping she stays there and doesn't bother us again. Just wait till you start doing well. I'm pretty sure she comes back and demands time with him. I have a good case for maintaining custody. She's not even

22:17 interested in facetiming with him so he remembers her. I feel bad my son will deal with a crappy and absent mother, but I hope I can get him into therapy as he grows. The bad news, I've tried my best to insist on visitation with my daughters, and that has fallen through. They refused to see me. They wrote me a letter together that says how much they hate me. How betrayed they feel. How they'll never forgive me. And how my son will never be their brother. Ooh, tough blow. But I don't blame them. You made me to not even bother telling him about them because they'll never be interested in knowing him. Okay. Well, I mean, they're young. They won't get it. Like, at the end of the day, it's also like he's the innocent victim in this case. Like, he didn't do anything wrong. Just to forget about them altogether and to move on with my new family. I have no legal recourse. The youngest is 13 now,

23:04 old enough to have a say in custody arrangements, and I don't think forcing them to see me would do me any favors longterm. Anyways, my only advice for you here is to set a better example for your son. I am your father. They also included pictures of their mother's wedding. My ex had no obligation to tell me about her personal life, but I'm pretty pissed that there's a man living with my daughters that I didn't know about. Oh, you don't like that, do you? Oh, you you dug your own grave there, bud. It is a family friend that's been in their lives 10 plus years. So, not a total stranger, but still hurt to see pictures of their recent wedding and family pictures with my daughters. Oh, no. They mentioned they have a father figure and don't need me. The whole thing really hurt. I know I have no right to feel hurt that my ex has moved on when I cheated on her, but their whole relationship has moved very fast. So,

23:50 I'm wondering if they started it before we got divorced. Interesting that that's where your mind goes. I wonder why that is. Maybe it's because you're the one that cheated. No way to know. Doesn't matter. It really doesn't. It really doesn't. They've also known each other for a very, very long time, right? So, they didn't really need to like get past the whole like dating get to know you stage. Like, they already knew each other. My ex agreed to keep me up to date and send pictures of my daughters once in a while. After dealing with my son's mom, I'm grateful she's so good to our girls and I don't have to worry about their well-being. I'm trying to focus on being a good dad to my son and patiently waiting for my girls to grow up and reach out. It may never happen, but I'm hopeful they will understand me more as they become adults and gain contacts for life. They will never understand. They won't. They

24:36 won't. You You them up. You them up. I feel like you got everything you deserved. And, you know, thankfully your girlfriend didn't make a big fuss about your son. I think the only thing you can do in this situation is to reflect on your choices and not have this woe is me kind of like everybody's out to get me attitude. and genuinely reflect on how you got to this point. While you're waiting for your tea water to boil, reflect on all of your regrets. And I pray that you teach your son the dangers of what will happen when he's a greedy. Maybe don't use the word until he's older. And you are the a-hole, by the way. Subscribe.