Jon Stewart Calls Out GOP Disaster Relief Hypocrisy & Klepper on Hegseth & TikTok | The Daily Show

0:00 [Music] all news pales in comparison to what is occurring right now in the state of California a horrifying Inferno whose danger even now has not passed but even amongst the tragedy and sadness there have been incredible moments of human compassion and kindness neighbors looking after neighbors charitable contributions pouring into GoFundMe from all areas of the World mainly the tireless and heroic actions of firefighters in the California region some of them prisoners fighting with Incredible bravery and tenacity rescue workers from all over the country rescue workers from outside the country rescue

0:46 workers from Mexico Mexico damn your open borders Biden well I I guess they are sending us their best you want to know how bad it is in California right now here's how bad it is president vlir zalinski has offered to send 150 Ukrainian First Responders to help battle the massive wildfires we're

1:33 so that a country that has been relentlessly bombed for almost three years was like you poor bastards but it is a testament to the resilience of the human Spirit of man's ability across cultural and political and religious lines in times of Crisis to appeal to our better angels as Archbishop Desmond 221 said We Are Made For Goodness and love and Compassion or as our own President elect put it Trump shared a meme on Truth social of fires raging behind the Hollywood sign which was photoshopped to read Trump was right

2:20 appropriate thank you Mr President I'd almost forgotten your pension for casual cruelty and Dick Foolery Flames nice touch on the on the graphics surely you won't be content with just trolling those in dire need surely you also see this as a merch portunity the New York Post posted these images of president-elect Donald Trump driving a golf cart wearing a trump was right about everything hat Trump was right about almost everything I I wouldn't say he was right about the outfit Choice rule of thumb never dress in the same color scheme as the upholstery of your own vehicle unless wait perhaps Trump has

3:07 reached his highest form part man part golf cart and and apparently all cholesterol I guess uh RFQ junor stat okay but Trump is going to troll the the problem now is Republicans appear to want to attach there I told you so as a condition of funding California's disaster relief I expect that there will be strings attached to money that is ultimately approved I think there should probably be conditions on that date that's my personal view before we put funds funds into place we've got to find out uh exactly how we're going to hold these leaders accountable and what sort

3:53 of policy changes are required there can't be a blank check on this they don't deserve anything to be honest with you unless they show us they're going to make some changes what the is wrong with you really senator from Alabama the state near the bottom in math reading and test scores next time you get hit by a hurricane why don't we have a little parent teacher conference to see that if you got your scores up you would get the money or actually let's not do it because you'll get the money anyway cuz we're not psychos that is psychotic there's something wrong with you and you know what and here's the thing I can do The Daily Show thing I can run down all the Congress people and Senators on the right calling for

4:40 conditions on disaster Aid that absolutely had the opposite view when it was their state on the line we need to do everything we can we have citizens that are literally going to get worse by the day shut the up because I could do it but it doesn't even matter I'm not even going to do it because red states are always the tragic victims of circumstance outside of their control and Democrats always vote for their aid whereas Blue State disasters are a function of their flawed morality and policy and if we help Blue State survivors well what message will that send what lesson will they learn but fine if strings must be attached what be the strings the problem with California is forestry management oh yeah it's true

5:27 I didn't it's true the management of the forest you have to rake the leaves and shut down the illegal elf tree cookie factories it's I understand and and what a great utterly anod suggestion I mean what Forest couldn't be managed better I mean if You' been to a forest L chaos it's chaos the dirt and leaves and and what is that bear I'm sure I want to see the manager okay uh so we get the money if we have better Forest uh management everybody then gets food and clothes what else they've not done the necessary work to make sure there's fresh water flowing into key areas oh water yeah no question no question water

6:14 for the fire I'm going to get that message to the firefighters toot sweet water is so important water is a terrific fire I don't even want to say the all word I but but as I always say who what do you got there Mr a fire Nothing Like Water Water Works on all kinds of fire except for one kind of fire but I don't know which one that is but odds are with you point taken but Forest management and and get some water up here and then your children may have blankets um these are all great pointers on how to mitigate fires and I'm sure California has absolutely been trying water and Forest management maybe not good enough

6:59 but they they have it there's one thing you might not be considering uh as you criticize them and that's this um I don't know what kind of a system you can develop that completely mitigates the risk of Fire Plus drought conditions plus 60 to 80 mph winds plus delicious wood look at this look what's happening right there do you see this fire to tornado [Applause] rake your way out of that you understand I love the blame game I love the blame game I play it all the time but the fires aren't out and the fire a

7:48 tornado the only thing that would stop that is the absence of oxygen which if I'm being honest we could do hear me out there's something something called a clo a CL is a covering you've probably seen it in pie shops you can put a clo now if I just very quickly guys that's the Continental size clo that we had on an previous program suggested for immigration reform we we need a a little more C casual guys can you check on the sideboard behind the gravy frigs it's not if it's not there it's under the sink the California that's it the California clo airtight it's the best way to smother a Los Angeles sized

8:34 fire and if you live in New Jersey keep a a pie fresh in a diner for 8 to nine [Applause] years the the clo I am going to make clo happen years from now and then I'm going to get a hat that says Don't Stewart was right about everything [Applause] hey look hey all you idiots are dead told you so but these people don't actually care they're not actually trying to find a solution they're just trying to work their pet issues into this tragic situation it's confusing but thankfully

9:21 some people are being more explicit in their conspiracy theories on X representative margerie Taylor green asked why don't they use G engineering like cloud seeding to bring rain down on the wildfires in California they know how to do [Music] [Applause] it who is they [Applause] Margaret are you perhaps referring to the Vish people is that is that what it is Margaret the very same people that control the area on fire why would we they destroy the very industry we they

10:08 control when we also have the means to bring the rains we have space lasers and we can bring rain the clues are there Margaret Alex knows Alex Jones wrote that Los Angeles fires are part of a larger globalist plot to wage economic Warfare and de industrialize the United States before triggering total collapse oh all right well it's Alex Jones He is certainly known for this type of thinking I I don't believe anyone uh is going to be taken in by uh this type of post Elon Musk responded to that post by writing true [Applause]

11:02 now I feel sad but unfortunately a lot of the information that's out there is not correct and because of poor Forest management that information just jumps igniting into larger and larger nonsense infernos that coincidentally seem to reinforce whatever Grudge any of these folks have against California especially their ideology when you hear stories about state of Oregon sending 60 fire trucks I haven't confirmed that myself yet but they had to go to Sacramento to get emmissions testing get them to La where they're needed I mean this is woke gone you know woke on wild kind of stuff oh woke on wild I remember those VHS tapes Spring Breakers reading the

11:47 autobiography of Malcolm X and putting on more clothes getting cat called show us your privilege by the way as far as what he was saying those fire the whole thing is the fire trucks were not sent to Sacramento to get emissions testing they were sent there to be transitioned into minivans without their parents consent that's what happened but man if there is one thing harder to extinguish than the fires it is the most resilient of the right talking points the whole thing is a complete disaster a

12:32 lot of it comes back to Dei Kristen Crowley the fire chief in Los Angeles she is a very silly woman the first gay female fire chief ever wow under her is Christina Kepner first El first lesbian assistant chief then under her is Christine Larson they're all Christina Christina she's also a lesbian Christina Christina Christina lesbian lesbian being what what are you doing you just summoned them do you understand you can't you can't just say the name three times do you know what you just Unleashed onto this Earth from now on

13:19 it's just infernos and lesbian [Applause] firefighters by way I'm I'm not sure Megan with a why should be criticizing people named Christina but apparently to the right drought conditions high winds and densely stacked flammable structures were all fine until they added the lesbians and then something peculiar happened what is your message to City administrator starting with mayor bass my message is the fire department needs to be properly funded and it's not it's not at this point did the city of Angeles fail you yes we need to be fully fully funded and supported so that our

14:05 firefighters can do their jobs lesbian firefighter has attacked black lady mayor who will the right support in in this opposite of a Sophie's Choice really I I mean in the hierarchy of Dei crimes black lady mayor lesbian firefighter I don't know which one of those is there I want to say white whale but that'd be wrong uh look I'm not suggesting that Dei is not responsible for at least 99% of this tragedy but Devil's

14:52 Advocate this is the Palisades in 1923 and that's not after a fire it's it's just dead it's like a desert and someone decided to build a city there a densely populated all be a beautiful city in the middle of it that's what they did and I'm going to guess that the person whose idea it was wasn't a lesbian firefighter or a black lady mayor we didn't even have lesbians back then until one snuck here from France in [Applause] 1934 so stop with the Dei oh that was the straw that broke the Campbell's back the meritocracy built that City the meritocracy created the dangerous

15:38 conditions that made a tragedy like this almost inevitable don't take my word for it I know the liberal argument sounds like Charlie Brown's teacher to your ear let me get someone who speaks to your frequency so I was talking to this guy and he was telling me he goes dude one day he goes it's just going to be the right Wind and Fire is going to start in the right place and it's going to burn through La all the way to the ocean and there not a thing we can do about it now of course he did go on to say lesbians will make it [Applause] worse the point is man we are humans we build in difficult areas on the

16:24 belief that we will figure out how to subdue God and nature for God sakes 50 years they made a movie about what a dumb idea it would be to develop this city into the country's second largest metro area even they knew La wasn't a good place to raise your daughter or your sister my daughter my sister my daughter [Laughter] movies were wild in the 70s like you could do anything in movies like there's no like slap C like literally in that they're like Jack do it again this time

17:10 with your fist like they didn't give [Applause] a sometimes things happen that are beyond the bounds of human infrastructure although admittedly the LA powers that be have not covered themselves in glory at this time right now if you need help emergency information resources and shelter is available all of this can be found at [Applause] URL look I'm not saying she's churcher ladies and gentlemen don't worry uh when the bombs start falling don't worry just insert useful information

17:56 here so yeah improvements can be made in leadership in management in design in materials in Myriad ways but sometimes fire FS a tornado and makes a mockery of human infrastructure and our ability to dictate the terms of our existence on this planet but the one thing it shouldn't dictate is the cruelty that we would show to those in pain because we don't think they consistently vote right today the Senate held its first confirmation hearing for Pete heg Trump's nominee for defense secretary and dude who makes sure everyone at the Frat House has their stor straight now since he was nominated a

18:42 couple months ago we found out a lot about Heth and most of it does not Inspire confidence he's been accused of sexual assault he was accused of nearly running a veterans group into the ground and he has a documented history of excessive drinking which we learned even more about today a Heth acquaintance describes a breakfast they had with Heth in the spring of 2023 we met at Fox News in New York for breakfast and he suggested we go across the street to a bar it was like 10: in the morning then he ordered two gin and tonics at the same time for himself then he had a third genin and tonic who whoa whoa heg set just rolling up to breakfast like I'll have the steel cut oatmeal and three Jin and tonics please you know what they say beer before liquor never never been sicker

19:29 liquor before liquor I'll have another liquor this definitely raises some questions for the person you may want to put in charge of the nukes so let's jump into today's confirmation hearing and you know what I'm not I'm not saying he showed up drunk but it did start at 10:00 a.m. so how about we start with a quick sobriety test you know something simple Pete how about name your kids our seven wonderful kids gunar Jackson Peter Boon Kensington Luke Jack Rex sorry it's a lot of them and gwendaline okay little tipsy okay big deal all

20:15 right no biggie my dad was always mixing up me and my siblings names and he launched perfectly successful counter offensive rapid deployment amphibious incursions into Iran all the time although Pete probably should have given his kids names he could remember more easily maybe like Don Julio Jim Beam Johnny Walker Jose quvo and don't forget little Michael Hard Lemonade anyway now now that that's over it's time for the grilling Republicans I know he's your guy but I also know you love the military so I'm sure you've got some hard questions for the man who wants to run it why do you want to do this job what's your what drives you tell tell me something about your wife

21:00 that you love how many push-ups can you [Applause] do follow-up question sir I have this jar could a big strong man like yourself open it okay okay but Democrats made up for those softballs with a couple pitches that were were really high at inside I assume that in each of your weddings you've pledged to be faithful to your wife you've taken an oath to do that haven't you you've admitted that you had sex at that hotel on October 2017 and you were still married and you just had a child by another woman again how do you explain your judgment you have admitted that you had sex while you were married to wife two after you just had fathered a child by wife three but you didn't reveal any of this to president Trump why didn't you inform the

21:46 commanderin-chief and the transition team of this very relevant event oh damn Tim Kane went full Mory Povich out there huh wow wow Tim poic oh the come on Tim come on you're asking why didn't Heth tell Trump about how many times he cheated on his wife uh maybe because if he did Trump would high-fi him so hard it would break both their hands okay that that was a pretty wild light of questioning from Tim Kane any any Republican want to jump to his defense here how many senators have showed up drunk to vote at night and then how many senators do you know have

22:32 got a divorce before cheating on their wives did you ask them to step down no but it's for show you guys make sure you make a Big Show and point out the hypocrisy because a man's made a mistake and you want to sit there and say that he's not qualified give me a joke give me a joke uh uh uh okay okay uh about a priest a rabbi and Pete heg say walk into a bar at 10:00 a.m. are you happy now Mark Wayne huh I don't know if this was really the defense that heg Seth wanted though look we're all pieces of here let he without an Ashley Madison

23:18 premium account cast the first stone I tell you who else probably didn't appreciate that defense the other senators they probably got home and their wives were like uh I saw Mark Wayne at the confirmation hearing today he said that everyone in the Senate cheats on their wives honey honey you can't trust Mark Wayne he's confused the man has two first names smush together it's Insanity okay but after that they did in fact get into hegs policy positions and and there was one in particular policy that had people very worked up you previously have made a series of inflammatory statements about women in combat and a recent podcast you said

24:05 quote I'm straight up just saying we should not have women in combat roles you say we need moms but not in the military especially in combat units what's wrong with a mom by the way once you have babies you therefore are no longer able to be lethal yeah are you saying moms can't be lethal does the name Casey Anthony mean nothing to you [Applause] so yes hexi has a long record of insisting that women have no place in combat and you know what I'm sorry Libs but that's just the way Pete is maybe he's not good at leadership or management or money or vows or driving home past 10:00 a.m. but the one thing he does is stand his

24:53 ground tell him Pete no women in combat roles let's make it very clear for everyone here today as Secretary of Defense will you support women continuing to have the opportunity to serve in combat roles yes women will have access to ground combat roles from Washington DC The Flash apparently official at 1125 Standard Time Pete hegseth went woke you know perhaps the most damning comment about Pete Heth came from Pete heg himself when he was explaining what the military needs in its leadership the

25:41 Dei policies of today are not putting meritocracy first every single senior officer will be reviewed based on meritocracy getting anything that doesn't contribute to meritocracy out of how decisions are made inside the Pentagon ensuring Readiness uh and meritocracy is front and center meritocracy meritocracy meritocracy I know what is next kid's going to be named you heard him though you heard him folks a military cannot function unless it's staffed by a system based on pure Merit where only the most qualified people rise to the top so says your next secretary of defense who will run the most complicated powerful deadly organization the world has ever known

26:27 and whose only qualific is that Trump liked watching him sit on a couch on Saturday mornings but but listening to Republicans today it seems like that's going to be enough to get him confirmed I just want to say for all the talk of experience and not coming from the same cocktail parties that permanent Washington is used to you were a breath of fresh air well that's not what the breathalyzer said but but okay let's kick things off with the big news of the day at long last I

27:12 can announce a ceasefire and a hostage deal has been reached between Israel and Hamas wow yeah what a historic moment Joe Biden articulately got through a sentence and also a ceasefire and and the timing couldn't be better for Biden there's still time for him to win Michigan so now we're in the early stages of figuring out what this means and we'll be following it closely but for now let's talk about another crisis just as serious as what's happening in the Middle East I'm talking about ticktock aka the reason your thumb is so freaking jacked I find that genuinely disturbing

27:58 Tik Tock is the hottest app in the US and next week it's gone first a story that on a lot of people's minds this morning the looming shutdown of Tik Tok here in the US yeah a federal ban on this popular chinese-owned app is set to take effect on Sunday the argument from the US government is that Tik Tok presents a national security risk and that the Chinese own company is stealing user data y'all we are so indescribably cooked I know the government's argument is oh we want to protect your data you and the data the United States has done a a lot of stupid things this has to be number one that's the the number one worst thing I mean we did slavery in America I mean let's at least call it a tie shall we Tik Tac users are upset about this

28:46 but there's there's not much they can do Congress passed a bill the president signed it and the Supreme Court seems ready to rule that the ban is constitutional which I don't think we can be surprised by because because this is not exactly Tik tok's core demographic mean they're more of a Walgreens app type of crowd they're old and sickly is what I'm saying I mean the last time the Supreme Court heard the sound Tick Tock was when death was following RBG around although there's still a chance that Tik Tok can be saved before the Costco guys are euthanized on Sunday so Tik Tok would be allowed to keep operating if it's sold to an American owner and there's no shortage of Interest new names are surfacing as

29:33 potential buyers for the platform including Elon Musk Mr Beast has joined the bid to buy Tik Tok former treasury secretary Steve minian previously launched an effort to buy it and Shark Tank star Kevin oir says he and other investors are also making a play yes there is still a chance Tik Tac could be sold to one of America's many Rich weirdos apparently Lex Luther wasn't available a so this is the best America has to offer I mean I actually heard myself say man I hope that Tik Tok goes to someone Saye like Mr Beast I mean can't there be one cool potential buyer Shaquille O'Neal I'm talking to

30:20 you stop buying so many Papa John's franchises and get real about your investment future the tra wives and the bigheaded with the trench coats button up to the top need you but if no American buyer emerges there's still one more Wild Card the Wild Card Donald Trump now he tried to ban Tik Tock during his first term but he's now trying to save the app and you'll you'll never guess why he had a change of heart I have a warm spot in my heart for Tik Tok because I won youth by 34 points and there are those that say that TI has something to do with that I was on Tik Tock for the election and I won the young people by 36 points I'm not opposed to Tik Tock that's right Tik

31:08 Tock helped Trump so now Tik Tock is good and by the way if you're if you're wondering whether Trump won the youth vote by 34 points or 36 points the answer is he lost the youth vote by 11 points slight a slight discrep basically the same thing all this is up in the air but Tik Tac users are not waiting around to find out how this is going to play out amid fear a Tik Tok ban could take effect later this week some Americans flocking to Chinese apps like red note I'm a Tik Tok Refugee and lemon 8 both apps have similarities to Tik Tok and lemon 8 shares a parent company bite dance red note is owned and

31:55 operated by the Chinese Communist party and used ERS must agree to adhere to the Chinese Constitution practice socialist values and promote the traditional culture of China good job US Government you told Americas they couldn't see China anymore and now they're running off to Vegas with it I mean this has got to be so frustrating for kamla she just spent a whole election fighting accusations that she's a socialist and now every American is like I would literally pledge to be a Chinese socialist for a good tiktock replacement the question is why would Americans be so Cavalier about the threat of China spying maybe it's because after years of receiving monthly emails about how every American company has lost or stolen our

32:40 data we become cynical about the concept of privacy or maybe we actually get off on knowing China is spying on us the whole time maybe it's gotten so bad I can't even enjoy a cat video anymore unless I know XI Jing ping is watching me from some digital chair in the corner so looks like this new app red note is exploding and the last time something from China went this viral was it's not important when do you see what people are discovering once they're on it one thing that I've noticed since being on red note for like the last two days is how much more advanced the Chinese culture is than what I had in my brain

33:27 most most of these Chinese people they look so much less traumatized than most Americans I am no longer convinced that we are living in a first world country while lurking on red note I found out about this car we can't sell this car because it's Chinese look how cute it is they sell it in pink it's like $155,000 which is Affordable I made a new bestie she ended up going to the market and sent me a picture of her local market corn on the cob 94 what would it be here in America you might ask $7 is this what they don't want us to

34:13 know that's not a good sign for America I was made to think a communist dictator was bad but check out these corn prices daddy likey come on America fight back if Chinese people show you their cheap corn you show them our robust Free Press okay no okay or you show them our fair and impartial Justice not that okay Dave and Busters show them are Dave and Busters hell yeah in your commi faces a lot of people are worried about a second Trump presidency so last night's Farewell Address was a chance for the president to offer the nation some comfort President Biden in his final farewell address from the Oval Office Ed a stunning warning to the

34:59 nation on his way out the potential rise of a tech industrial complex that could POS real dangers an oligarchy is taking shape in America of extreme wealth power and influence that literally threatens our entire democracy okay yeah thanks for the encouragement Mr President I'm my pants in Comfort look look I know you've only got a few days left but don't just give us problems maybe offer some solutions you know there's a dangerous threat of oligarchy from a rich Elite and that's why I'm paring Luigi mangone go get him tiger s balling s balling here yes Biden

35:46 used his last speech as president to warn us about a new American oligarchy and you can tell the message hit home because of how many people and this this is true how many people immediately went to Google to search what is oligarchy and weirdly Google responded don't worry about it it turns out you don't need to Google oligarchy to understand what it actually looks like just tune in to the inauguration this Monday NBC News is now reporting that Elon Musk Jeff Bezos and Mark Zuckerberg will all three attend Donald Trump's inauguration next week the CEOs of Apple and Google will be there Sam mman from open AI Tik Tock CEO showu he was invited to sit on the de

36:32 where former presidents and family traditionally sit wo that is right Facebook's at the inauguration Google Amazon the CEO of Zoom will be there wearing a suit top short bottoms uh CEO of uber will be there in 2 minutes maybe five minutes uh you know what they're looking for a new CEO even the CEO of Vine will be there I mean he'll be panhandling outside but he'll be near near there the inauguration guest list can't just be billionaires who get off reading your DMs there there has to be more I mean who else is Trump inviting to watch him take the oath of office performing at Trump's inauguration will be familiar names from his campaign including Kid

37:17 Rock Lee Greenwood and the Village People First Responders from Butler County Pennsylvania where Trump survived that first assassination attempt will March in the parade and the Maga garbage truck that went viral during The Campaign Will reportedly hit the streets of Washington DC during the Inauguration Day Parade whoow Trump's bringing back all the characters from The Campaign like it's the Seinfeld finale we're going to be watching from home like look it's the cats and dogs from Springfield huh and they're wearing Trump's ear bandage I mean they're even bringing the garbage truck he used it as a prop in one campaign stunt and now it's going to be in the parade I mean it's not even going to drive itself it's going to ride

38:03 in the back of a limo I mean now that this garbage truck is a Maga celebrity the sky is the Limon it's going to get its own right-wing podcast join the White House staff then every Trump sycophant is going to start sucking up to it then finally reporters will catch the truck getting a hand job from Kimberly gilfoil in the Rose Garden tail is old as time but I will say this inauguration list must be so embarrassing for anyone who didn't get an invite I mean Sean Spicer's going to be like does anyone know if the garbage truck has a plus one you know what let's move on because while the new presidency is about to begin there's a frenzy of activity happening at the end of the current presidency yesterday President Biden

38:49 announced a breakthrough in the war in the Middle East phase one of a ceasefire between Israel and Hamas and what I found really uplifting is how we finally sealed the deal new reporting this morning that there was extraordinary cooperation between the outgoing and incoming administrations the New York Times reports there was coordination between both presidential teams and that each directed their advisers to work together to push Israel and Hamas over the Finish Line look at this look at this you see this this is truly inspiring two administrations two Rivals working together to make the world a better place focusing on what's important creating peace in the world that petty fights over who gets the credit does this deal belong to Biden or Trump who do you give credit to it could

39:35 not have happened without Trump this is President Biden's negotiation if Donald Trump wasn't elected in November none of this would have been happening this credit goes to Joe Biden Joe Biden not 100% that's not fair B come on what is all this arguing about there's enough credit for everyone who deserves it the presidents the diplomats and most importantly everyone who changed their profile picks you're welcome hey what else do you expect from the media stirring up drama is their thing I'm sure the two Statesmen at the heart of the negotiations are content to share the credit president-elect Trump wasted no time angling for credit on the ceasefire deal we've been talking about this morning posting on his social media site that quote this epic ceasefire agreement could have only happened as a

40:21 result of our historic victory in November how much credit do you give to the Trump team for this deal Trump is already taking credit for it well you know uh this is the exact framework of the deal I proposed back in May exact first off Joe I don't think that's the brag you think it is everyone's been ignoring this thing since May then something happened I don't know and Donald can you just throw this man a bone please haven't you done enough to Poor Joe you took his second term you took his legacy you took his wife to go see baby girl together can you just share a little credit with him but guys a little

41:09 perspective here the important thing isn't who gets credit the important thing is that after over a year of War we finally have a ceasefire a new Wrinkle in the hostage ceasefire deal Israel's war cabinet a short time ago delayed a vote to officially ratify the deal because they say Hamas has reneged unum parts of the agreement like I said the important thing is we thought about having a ceasefire and what a fun couple of hours it was [Music]