Jurassic World Rebirth Being Devoid of Logic

0:00 Jurassic World Rebirth was met with mediocre reviews and is lauded as being extremely dumb. So, let's go through the movie and see how stupid it really gets. And if you haven't seen it, then that's fine because I'll recap what's happening throughout the video. And obviously, spoilers. Without exaggerating, Jurassic World Rebirth literally opens in the first minute with one of the most absurd plot points. A scientist is eating a Snickers bar and drops the wrapper on the ground to which it gets sucked into a door vent and the entire compound implodes. It's one thing just blatantly littering in a pristine scientific workplace, but it's another thing entirely where this rapper gets sucked into a door and somehow makes it malfunction and completely break down.

0:47 Like, why is there an air vent in the door? Why would a rapper going in there cause it to start sparking? This essentially leads into the entire compound going into red alert and allows the distorted Rex to escape. So right away, this movie is operating on a comically absurd contrivance when you could literally write anything else into the script to fulfill the same plot point of the security system breaking down. We cut to present day and the movie takes place after Dominion where the world has apparently come to not care about dinosaurs anymore and they're going extinct. For scientific reasons, dinosaurs can only live around the equator. That's fine to accept as the movie's internal logic, but I find it pretty silly that the world flat out has a disinterest in dinosaurs after like 5

1:33 years. Keep in mind, people still love going to the zoo in real life to see normal animals. So, the writer trying to establish that no one is interested in dinosaurs so much to the point that museums are closing down is hard to buy. In the grand scheme of things, this doesn't have a major bearing on the plot. But if you're going to approach worldbuilding with little care towards realism, then you're already asking the audience to suspend their disbelief. So, the premise of the movie is simple. This healthcare businessman named Martin Krebs wants to create a drug to cure heart disease that requires blood samples of three separate large dinosaurs. He hires Zora, played by Scarlett Johansson, who's basically a less edgy version of Black Widow. There's also Dr. Lumis and a mercenary

2:20 named Duncan. Every other background character you can probably guess the fate of. A silly aspect in regards to assembling this team is how much Martin wants to pay these people. He describes that this miracle drug will make billions. Trillions, but only offers to pay Zora $10 million. The irony here is that Scarlett Johansson made way more money acting in this movie than her character would make in acquiring blood samples for a priceless miracle cure. Goes to show that writers and executives are very out of touch with reality. With the rest of the crew happy with their pay, which is basically personified by this meme, we're off on our journey. But oh wait, we can't just have a movie about mercenaries infiltrating an island crawling with mutated dinosaurs. we have

3:07 to have a subplot with an annoying family. For this family, they're out on one last sailing trip and they decide to route through the Caribbean islands, which is around where this movie is taking place. What's really puzzling here is that by this point, we're told multiple times that most dinosaurs have migrated to this region of the world. So, it should go without saying that these waters are probably infested with aquatic dinosaurs. The fact that this father isn't aware of that is insane, and that's probably common knowledge for people at this point, let alone someone who's actively planning a trip into this territory. The movie tries to vindicate the father by saying that he sailed this route multiple times before, but that just comes across as utter The

3:53 writer is now invalidating the internal logic of the world he just established to force this family into a scenario they shouldn't be in. If you're at a point where the premise fundamentally doesn't make sense, then you have to rework your story. Not sure why we need to have this family present in the first place. And my only assumption is because the producers want to appeal to a wider audience demographic. Unsurprisingly, they get jumped by a mosasaurus and have to get saved by our main crew of characters. It's very convenient that the mosasaurus just leaves them alone after wrecking their ship and doesn't try to knock them off for dinner. Anyways, this family is now awkwardly attached to the main plot, and any rational human would just quickly take them back to civilization. Keep in mind

4:40 that the mission these characters are on is illegal, as going to these islands is strictly prohibited, so I don't know why they would want to incriminate themselves in front of potential witnesses. It's established in the movie that they've been traveling for around a day, so it's honestly not that big of a drawback to delay this mission for a couple of days. But nope, for some reason, there's time urgency and we have to get to the blood samples now, even though there's no established competition in the area. This made me feel bad for the family as they're basically getting kidnapped and their lives are being put into more danger. These kids are safe now. Then we're all going to this island like she said. Okay, there's a village complex there with geothermal energy. It still works. You can wait there. You'll be totally safe.

5:26 What? So much for sympathizing with the main characters. The dino crew ends up getting a blood sample from a mosasaurus and they get jumped by a bunch of aquatic dinosaurs, forcing the boat into shallow waters. And the characters make the completely rational decision to crash the boat into a beach at 100 mph. Surely these high IQ individuals could come up with a better plan, but I guess not. We have to have an artificial reason to maroon these people on this deadly island. Also, for some bafflingly idiotic reason during the crash, the family of characters decides to jump off too early and leaves behind the mercenaries. To be fair, the daughter fell off and her boyfriend jumped in after her, but they're still clearly separated. Even Zora is like, "What the are you guys doing?" Also, they

6:13 jump off so early to the point that I honestly thought the dinosaurs would just eat them. And I don't know why they need to go now. They're still over a mile away from the island, and swimming that distance, even with a life jacket, is pretty crazy. Since the father is David Hasselhoff from Spongebob, they were able to swim to shore before everyone else got there somehow. Don't ask any questions. Maybe there are teleporters around the island from past experiments. I also find it hilarious that this background character was in the engine room during the ship crash and is completely fine. Bro would have been getting tossed around and turned into a liquid smoothie. Dena, the most integral character in the story, is suddenly snuffed out, displaying an audacious storytelling technique of killing a main character to establish

6:59 stakes. Wait, what's that? She only had 20 seconds of screen time. Oh well, I'm kind of confused why Duncan is running into the ocean screaming her name after she's already lunch meat. Enough. Jason, Jason, Jason, Jason. So, now that we're on the island, the devoid of logic aspects for this movie exponentially skyrocket. And first, I'll tackle the family side of the story since the movie is now split into two subplots. Yay. Since this is a family PG-13 movie, that basically means that most of these characters are untouchable, and that stays true for the entire movie. Their plot armor is so blatant that they basically have a superpower in which they disintegrate

7:46 the IQ levels of dinosaurs in their proximity. This is exemplified in multiple ways, but the first one that's just completely egregious, is when Nightfalls, there's going to be predators, to say the least. when the boyfriend goes to take a piss, which in of itself is a funny trope in which whenever there's a group of characters, the person that has to pee has to travel a mile away from everyone to find the spot to pee. But in this scenario, traveling deeper into a pitch black forest swarming with dinosaurs would basically mean your death, which the writer actually deploys velociraptors to his location. But luckily, he's saved by this mutadon that was in the trees. Not sure why the mutadon didn't pounce on this guy when he was walking up to pee.

8:31 And it's not because this dinosaur prefers to eat raptors because the last act of the movie heavily features these mutadons hunting our characters. Knight conveniently passes with no more encounters, which is odd because they aren't even in a sheltered location. They're randomly out in the open in the jungle with a fire, meaning that they should be a beacon to every dinosaur around them. So, the objective for this family is to find the abandoned village on the island and meet up with the main characters. And they do this by following these thermal energy pipes. While following them, the kid befriends baby Yoda. I mean, a baby dinosaur. She does this by feeding it licorice. I thought at first the dinosaur parents were going to be around and this would lead to some conflict, but nope. It's

9:17 just a baby dinosaur randomly traveling around alone in a deeply hostile environment in which doing so it wouldn't last for a day. However, since the dinosaur interacted with the family, their plot armor rubbed off on him and he's now unkillable. Hey, Dad. My sister has befriended a dinosaur. Do you think that's a bad idea? Nah, she's all good. [Music] And then they all died. The next main scene that shows off how invulnerable this family is, they have a run-in with a T-Rex. They decide that traveling down this river is their best option and go and get an inflatable raft from this abandoned structure. However, there's a sleeping T-Rex next to it. So, Teresa has to be very silent. Instead,

10:04 she disagrees and decides to deploy the inflatable raft in front of the T-Rex, marking by far one of the most stupid things I've seen a character do. The movie establishes that you have to inflate it on land, but waking up the apex predator to do so shouldn't be worth it. Jesus Christ, that's Jason Bourne. So, for whatever reason, the dinosaur turns into Jason Bourne and needs to drink water right now, allowing the family to get into the raft. The scene also establishes a dumb motif in which dinosaurs pursuing our characters comically slow themselves down, allowing the characters time to get away, actively betraying their inherent motivation of wanting to eat them. From

10:52 here, the T-Rex keeps failing to eat the family in the water despite being in close proximity. And the writer fabricates this weird boulder structure that acts as a choke point for the family to escape the dinosaur. Although, as the director shows in a wide shot, the T-Rex could easily just walk around this boulder on land and then kill everyone. Instead, the T-Rex just throws in the towel and gives up. Also, unfortunately, the family lost their raft. Oh, wait, never mind. It just miraculously sprang up in front of them, even though it never went under the water. And even if it did, it wouldn't have traveled all the way over here. Truly one of the most baffling scenes in the movie. And if I wanted to nitpick every moment here, it would stretch the video into being an hour long. The family with the raft now back in their

11:38 possession travel all the way to the abandoned village. Sure is nice that they had no other dinosaur encounters, but whatever. This acts as the end to their POV before meeting back up with everyone. So, let's see what the main crew was doing. On the beach, Martin Krebs says that the island is infested with mutated dinosaurs. However, it's insane to me how underutilized this premise is. In the entire runtime of the movie, we see two types of mutated dinosaurs, and that's just the mutadon and the distorted Rex or D-Rex from the beginning of the movie. This entire revelation is supposed to be a big deal, and it raises the stakes while in reality it barely does. They're just slightly different reskins of the T-Rex and Velociraptors. Although, to be fair,

12:24 the Mutadon can fly. They fly now. They fly now. The dino crew decides to carry out their mission of acquiring the blood samples. And everyone, for some reason, ignores Duncan's plea to locate and save the family. Those kids, the people who went to the ocean, they could still be alive. I say we find them first and then we get out. Get out. How? From a basic character motivation perspective, Dr. Lumis and Zora should be on his side. Zora was on board with saving them in the first place, but now all of a sudden she's fine with condemning them to fend for themselves in the most deadly environment on the planet. The writer tries to pivot her motivation and making her entirely money focused and that's also contradicted in what was set up prior where she has a

13:09 reputation in the corporate world for acquiring illegal things. She should already be pretty well off financially. So, it seems like the writer realizes that the consensus between these characters would be to save the family, but opts to artificially change their motivations while also conveniently leaving Dr. Lumis out of this major moral conundrum. lazy writing. On their way to collect blood samples, Martin finds a crashed helicopter with the pilot hanging out the window with his pistol still in hand. That flat out shouldn't be the case for obvious reasons. And this is only done to give the villain a gun in a very contrived manner. Not so subtle foreshadowing. The dino boys and gal get the second blood sample and the third one is within the terasaur. Their plan is to repel down

13:55 into its nest and get the sample from an egg. Now, they don't actually have a plan for if the terasaur shows up. They're kind of just praying that it doesn't. While getting the sample, Zora pitches a plan to potentially open source the blood samples, thereby releasing this information into the world for free. I have two problems with this. One, Zora literally just made the decision to ignore the stranded family on the island in the pursuit of money. So, her suddenly going back to being altruistic and throwing out this payday is extremely contradictory for her character. Then secondly, you can release this information for the wider market to make, but given the nature of healthcare as a whole, there's nothing stopping these companies from uniformly choosing to keep the prices high. Like

14:42 that already happens now. The manufacturers make the drug and set the price. This is part of the reason why insulin is so expensive. You would need the government to step in and set limits on prices. So Zora and Dr. Lumis acting like this will be an incredible outcome in giving this cure to everyone who needs it is pretty shortsighted. Albeit, I guess it is better than giving it to a single company. They just act like this drug will help everyone when in reality it'll price out most people who actually need it. Unsurprisingly, a terasaur shows up while this guy is banging away on the mountain with a hammer. I guess no one told him to not make incredibly loud noises. He also chooses to get the attention of the terasaur

15:27 while it's attacking Zora and Lumis, which is noble, but he has no plan for escaping. Drawing its attention to himself basically means his own death, and he still chooses to do so for characters he's never really interacted with. Again, this showcases the plot armor of the main characters, and I find it really questionable for this background guy to sacrifice himself. Maybe he thought he'd get pulled up in time, but it's a flying dinosaur. Dr. Lumis' line gets snagged on the terasaur and he's flung off the mountain. He falls about three stories until Zora catches him and the rope abruptly stops his fall. Thankfully, his spine is made of vibranium as this action would simply fold him in half. Lumis gets a hold on the rock structure until his line snaps. Unfortunately

16:14 though, the thing he's holding on to comes loose and he tragically falls to his death. Nah, he's fine. Actually, the writer watched Avatar and saw in that movie that you can skydive in a rainforest and the leaves will break your fall, which he applies that alien world jungle logic to our world. While in reality, these leaves and thin branches would not stop his fall. He's far too heavy and traveling too fast for that to meaningfully slow him down. Then there's also conveniently a pond under all that, and the writer concocts all these perfect scenarios to save the character. Even though the situation still wouldn't have worked, you would need solid branches in a pond that is deeper than a couple of feet. The fact that this character sustains no injuries

16:59 from this event is also especially crazy, and even his glasses are undamaged. Duncan and Martin also discover a secret tunnel that happens to lead down to this exact location, and they don't get lost in a maze of passageways. They're also able to traverse this entire system and get down the mountain in the span of a few minutes. But since Lumis just had a divine miracle moment, you don't even stop to question that other devoid of logic aspect. If you fall, you die. I beg to disagree. From here, everyone gets to the compound and starts yelling for a while to find each other. Some mutadons suddenly show up and for some reason they choose to land in front of our characters and squawk at them instead of, you know, landing on them and carrying them off to eat them. This

17:45 causes our characters to split into three groups. Lumis and Duncan going to the helipad where they have to signal an approaching rescue helicopter. Zora and Martin hide under a car and the family goes into the gas station. While in there, they activate an internal buff that gives them super strength, allowing themselves to hold the door while a multi-tonon dinosaur slams into it. The strength would obviously overwhelm them, let alone the glass of the door breaking. But don't worry, this flimsy little cart will hold him back. Zora then gets his attention, and while hiding under the car, the mutadon tragically carries away Martin to be devoured. Nope, it drops him and then immediately loses sight of him. The mutadon probably has a mutated brain in which it gets amnesia every 10 seconds.

18:32 Baby Yodasaurus teleports to the location of this family. And you may think I'm joking, but I'm not. Prior to this, Isabella made Yodasaurus run away before the T-Rex encounter, and he never came back. But now it's just here suddenly, along with showing up in a locked gas station. So Yodasaurus must have found the teleporter this family was using earlier in the film. The mutadon that was chasing Duncan and Lumis comes in through the roof. Not sure what information it would be acting on to make this choice, but whatever. We now basically have the same scene with Velociraptors in the kitchen from Jurassic Park. While crashing into the room, Teresa also yells right next to the dinosaur, and it somehow doesn't notice. Instead, it chooses to notice Isabella closing the glass door with a

19:19 small click. The father distracts the mutadon and they go into a sewer type grate that's for some reason located in the store. But given how much these scientists litter, maybe they do need these sewer grates to drain all of the drinks they drop in here. Duncan and Lumis find a control room and discover a pristine untouched boat. Pretty miraculous to say the least. And applying real world logic here, that boat wouldn't work due to fuel degradation via oxidation since it's probably been here for around a decade. Although that's probably too advanced for this movie. So, let's just accept that we now have a boat in play, even though the entire island was hastily evacuated. The helicopter arrives, but suddenly the D-Rex shows up. Now, under this new condition, you

20:05 think Lumis wouldn't try to signal the helicopter to land since their situation is too dangerous. But given that the movie treats him as a morally good golden retriever who wants to open source the blood samples, you bet your ass he jeopardizes the poor souls in the helicopter, to which they get devoured by the T-Rex. It's also pretty absurd that this colossalized dinosaur doesn't make any sound when it walks around. The first movie clearly establishes that the T-Rex shakes his entire surroundings when walking, but this huge chunky T-Rex sneaks around as if he's Solid Snake. Earlier on, Martin steals the car that he and Zoro were hiding under and drives off. He aimlessly drives around the compound and everything surrounding him here is an incoherent mess motivationwise.

20:51 He's actively driving away from the helicopter pad and is driving to the docks. Despite not knowing that there's a boat there, this is also before the helicopter explosion. It seems like the writer wanted him to go rogue, but also coincidentally intersect with our main characters later. Before that happens though, all of our characters end up convening in the drainage system and it's barred shut at the end. Isabella goes out to open the bars and is snuck up on by the D-Rex. Good thing the plot armor gave her invisibility and it could be because she's standing still. But regardless, she was directly approached by the D-Rex, which would imply that it sees her. Thankfully though, Martin comes in out of nowhere and drives into the D-Rex. This is such an NPC action because anyone in their right mind would

21:38 hit the brakes and at the very least process what to do next, like either reversing or getting out of the car and running into a building. Crashing into the D-Rex though makes him second breakfast. Also, this moment clearly exposes how messed up the scale of this dinosaur is because in this shot, Martin's body is roughly the size of the dino's head, but when it's eating the helicopter, it's clearly far bigger. Thankfully, the D-Rex bites Martin's arm just in a way to release the suitcase full of blood samples, and it falls right into Zora's lap. Let's go. Everyone runs to the dock, and the D-Rex politely allows them to have a one minute head start. No peeking, T-Rex. When it eventually decides to show up after taking a nap, Duncan ignites a flare and lures it away, despite Lumis

22:26 clearly saying he's attracted to light and the option to throw away the flare is available. But Duncan has a fetish for sacrificing himself. Finally, a main character dies in a movie plagued with so much plot armor. And oh, wait. Why did that flare just shoot off? Duncan survived. Okay, so looking at how close the D-Rex got to Duncan, it was literally screaming in his face like a few feet away. Throwing away the flare at that point wouldn't do anything, as especially shown in Jurassic Park via this clip. I guess you can maybe argue that it was dark enough to where he could escape, but the second he motions to throw it away, the T-Rex could easily lunge and catch him. To me, this acts as such a copout moment and perfectly

23:11 punctuates why the entire movie had so little suspense. Also, you think that would be it, but there's another wild thing that happens where Isabella takes baby Yodasaurus home and no one tells her no. The movie establishes that dinosaurs die outside of the equator's tropical climate. So, everyone here is just accepting that this little girl is killing the dinosaur, even the scientists who should know better. Such a forced push to most likely try to increase the sale of merchandise. So, yeah, Jurassic World Rebirth is such a mind-bogglingly dumb movie that it made me question if other Jurassic Park movies were also very silly. But re-watching parts of the first movie, the dinosaurs were actually pretty scary because they're lethal. They're trying to kill the main characters and aren't

23:58 written in a way to mask bad writing. So, even though the inherent premise of this franchise is fictional in the sense that there are dinosaurs, that doesn't give Rebirth the excuse to not try at all with creating a decent script. Thanks for watching, and my letterbox, Discord, and Patreon links are in the description. Let me know in the comments if there are any other devoid of logic aspects I missed and have a great day. Thank you incredibly to my top patron Logan Farmer. You are definitely smarter than the collective IQ of everyone in this film.