Jurassic World Rebirth Pitch Meeting

0:00 [Music] So, you have a new Jurassic movie for me? Yes, sir, I do. Oh, thank God. It's about time we give this franchise a soft reboot. It's been years since the last movie. Yeah, I mean, like two. That's more than one. And therefore, my pluralization was warranted. It's time for some milking. And milk it we shall, sir. So, get this. In this one, it turns out there was another dino island. Oh my god. How many islands do these dino folks have going? As many as we want. Beautiful. So, what was going on on this one? Oh, there was a freaking secret lab where they were working on mutant dinosaurs. Why were they doing that? So we could have some new toys to sell. Ah, that's exactly the kind of research I love. And this one freaking lab guy drops a Snickers wrapper which gets sucked into a door vent. And you can imagine what that does. Kind of jams that one door. Destroys the entire

0:46 containment system and sets all the dinos. That's right. What? Why would that be the mechanism's reaction to something going in a vent? I don't know. Was this place built by the same people that built the Death Star? Sure, I don't care. Anyway, fast forward 17 years. What? Now it's 2027 in the movie. Correct. Okay. Cuz in the real world, I intend to have made three more of these by that year. Right. So now in the movie, we're after the events of the last Jurassic World movie, and dinos have been like living amongst humans. Oh, we are. All right. But turns out dinosaurs can't really survive with us. So they either died or went down to the equator. Got it. And the dinosaurs that are still around, people don't care about them anymore. Why not? Because the novelty's worn off and there's too much going on in the world. We're going with the bored of dinosaurs thing again. People famously get tired of looking at wild creatures after the novelty wears off, sir. That's why there was only ever one zoo and it did not catch on. It's

1:33 not accurate. So, we're going to meet this rich pharma guy, Krebs, and he wants to go to that secret island and get some DNA samples cuz he could use like dino blood to make heart disease cures or something. Okay. So, he hires this operative lady, Zora, to bring him there. And this is all super secret and illegal what they're doing. So, she's going to help Mr. Krebs with his secret formula. Exactly. Is Plankton going to try to steal it? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Respect that, please. What? Did you install that sign? This is my office. So, they also hire this paleontologist, Dr. Lumis, and they head down to the equator and meet up with an old friend of Zora's, Concaid. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Where's the dinosaur food? And Concaid's team is going to be there, too. Oh, there it is. So, then we're going to find out about Zora and Concaid's sad backstories. They've got like dead kids and dead partners and divorces and stuff. How are we going to

2:19 find all that out? Well, as you know, the classic rule of screenwriting is show don't tell. Sure. So, I was thinking we just show them telling each other. Oh, smart. Anyway, so now what they have to do is get three blood samples. One from Big Water Dino, one from Big Air Dino, and one for Big Land Dino. Very exciting. So, on the boat on the way to the island, they stop and rescue this family that got attacked on their boat by Big Water Dino. Why was the family out on a boat in dino water so that they can be in the movie now? Got it. So, they're going to bring this family along with them to the super secret and super illegal mission. Exactly. But then they all get attacked by water dinos and end up shipwrecked on the island. Uh-oh. Yeah. And that family, they get split up from the team. So, we're going to cut back and forth between those stories. Well, feels a little disconnected. Feels like you could take out the family and it

3:04 wouldn't really affect anything at all. Absolutely. But now we're giving people two almost completely separate movies for the price of one. Oh, that's a good deal. It is. So, it turns out as a plan B, Zora hired a helicopter to circle the island in 24 hours. So, they got to get to this checkpoint. Okay. And along the way, Dr. Lumis gets to touch a nice dinosaur. So obviously he's pretty emotional about that. Oh, has he not seen a real dinosaur before? No, he has pretty much every day. Ah, but this one's standing in a field. Oh, that is slightly different. And meanwhile, in that separate family movie, the little girl is going to become friends with a tiny dinosaur and name it Dolores. A baby dino. That sounds super marketable. It is. But later, they're also going to encounter a T-Rex. That's the dinosaur from the logo. Yeah. And the older daughter of this family, she's going to inflate a raft right in the face of the

3:50 sleeping T-Rex. So, they got to outrun it. Oh, did she not know it was there when she inflated a raft in its face? No, she did. Oh, interesting decision. So, they rush down the river, but then the little girl gets picked up with the raft by the T-Rex. Oh, no. But she manages to get away and they all manage to get away on the raft and paddle away. Did the T-Rex teeth not pierce the raft? Not even a little. Soft tooth dinos are tight. So eventually everybody ends up at the extraction point, but the freaking lights turn on and that attracts some mutant raptors. And some of the people are going to hide inside this gas station and we're going to do kind of like that kitchen scene from the original, but much more intense. Intense. How? There are going to be so many more product placements. Oh, I like that. You've somehow improved upon a classic scene. And then the freaking evil rich guy tries to steal the samples and get away on a helicopter, but the

4:37 helicopter gets eaten. And then after he does, too. Eaten by what? The big final boss. It's called the D-Rex, and it's super scary. What does it look like? Like if a T-Rex sprouted some useful arms and got bonked on the head real hard. Oh, very scary. And this thing's attracted to light, but the boat they're trying to get away on now it's generating light. Oh, man. Going to be tough to get out of that situation. Actually, it's going to be super easy. Barely an inconvenience. Oh, really? You see, King Cade grabs a flare and lures it away into the jungle. Flare distractions do happen in these movies. Nothing like a good flare distraction. Yeah. So he freaking sacrifices himself. Oh, he dies. Well, actually, no. We're going to think that he dies, but he somehow survives. So, they turn around and pick him up with the boat. How do they know he survived? He lights a flare to get their attention, and that suddenly no longer attracts the T-Rex.

5:22 No, cuz the movie's pretty much done now. Well, fantastic. And that little girl, turns out she brought Dolores with her, so that's very cute. I thought you said the dinosaurs couldn't really survive alongside humans. Oh, yeah. Well, okay. I guess Dolores is going to die, but we're not going to show that. Yeah, probably. Yeah, let's not show that. So, the good guys ride off on this boat, and they intend to share the samples with the whole world. Aren't they still in the dinoinfested waters they had to abandon ship for earlier? Hey, shut up. So, that's about it. What do you think? Well, we've got dinosaurs. We've got the Jurassic Brand. Let's slap a new Marvel actor on this thing and call it a soft reboot. Money, money, money. Easy money. Hi, this is Ryan George from The Thing You Just watched. Please enjoy this slideshow from The Thing You Just watched. [Music]