Loree Draude's Masterclass

0:02 All right. So, thank you again everybody for joining us for Lori Drought's uh master class today. Lori Drought was one of the first women to fly combat jets in the US Navy. She deployed twice to the Persian Gulf and accumulated over 300 carrier carrier landings. After completing her naval service, Lori earned her MBA at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania. She spent 20 years in Silicon Valley leading teams at startups and tech companies including Google and Meta. Lori has supported her hundreds of clients as motiv as a motivational speaker and an executive coach. She is currently a 2026 fellow at Harvard University's advanced leadership initiative and an executive leadership coach at Harvard Business School. Without any further ado, I'll thank her again for joining us and let her take it away.

0:47 >> Wonderful. Thank you Morgan and thank you Shauna. Thank you so much everybody for attending this webinar and this master class. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening wherever you are all over the world. I'm so excited to be here uh to support you and to talk with you about storytelling for leaders. And I just want to start off by saying thank you so much for being here. Uh it's just amazing that you are taking the time and making this effort and investing in yourself to become a better leader and I hope that today's class will help you with that. So we are going to talk about storytelling for leaders and what that means. So just to kick it off, storytelling for leaders. Uh this is going to be something that uh is a skill

1:34 that I found as a leader has helped me over time. And what better way to start off a class on storytelling than to share a story. So I'm going to share this story called the stallion story. And uh you may have heard of it before, but uh humor me and and listen along as I share with you the story of the stallion. So a long time ago, there was a farmer. And this farmer had this gorgeous stallion. He was so proud of this stallion, just a beautiful horse. And this horse would win all the stallion prizes every year in the the annual contest. And he he loved the stallion. Well, one day the stallion ran away. And the farmer was looking around, didn't see it. All the neighbors came

2:19 over and the neighbor said, "Oh no, that's so sad. Your stallion ran away. How horrible." And the farmer looked at them and said, "Mom, you know, who knows what's good and what's bad." The neighbors were like, "Okay, that's a little odd for someone who loves his stallion so much." But, uh, they went back home. About a week later, the stallion came back. And the stallion was not alone. The stallion had met this whole group of wild horses, wild mayors that had brought all of them with him. And so the neighbors came back. They saw all these horses. And they said, "Wow, how amazing. Look at all these horses that you have now. Not just the beautiful stallion, but all these horses." And the farmer said, "Well, you know, who knows what's good or what's bad." And again, the neighbors were

3:06 like, "That's kind of a weird reaction." Okay. So, time goes by and the farmer's son is trying to tame one of those wild mayors and he's riding on the mayor trying to get the mayor to uh to to behave and the mayor throws him off and the farmer's son breaks his leg. Once again, the neighbors see this and the neighbors say, "Oh gosh, wow, that's horrible. You your poor son. He's got a broken leg. Ouch." And the farmer looks at the at him, all the neighbors, and says, "Well, who knows what's good and what's bad." Now, the neighbors are starting to think this farmer is a little bit uh off his rocker. But again, you know, time goes by at the farm, and one day the nation's army comes to

3:53 conscript young men to go fight a war. And they're not able to take the farmer's son because he has the broken leg. And the neighbors again come by and they're like, "Oh, wow. What a relief. Your your son doesn't have to go off to war." And then they're like, "Oh, we we pretty much know what you're going to say by now. What's good and what's bad, right?" So, the reason I share this stallion story with you is to illustrate that storytelling is really about what you make of a situation. And in this scenario, obviously there's some things that you would think are good and are bad, but it's really what we what the story is that we tell about it. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. It's an event and it and an experience,

4:39 but we as leaders shape the narrative around that. So I want to share that story as an example of how to influence people because hopefully by the end of this class I will have convinced you that storytelling is a very important part of being a leader and shaping your teams. So let's talk about the kinds of stories that we tell as leaders. There's really two types of stories that we tell. The first is storytelling that uh that helps move other people to action and inspires them. But I'm also talking about the stories that we tell ourselves about the way that we view the world around us. And before we get into

5:25 these types these two types of stories, um let's talk about why storytelling matters. Storytelling is important. We know that. But why? Well, first, humans don't experience facts. We experience meaning. So, when you have something happen, just, you know, a raw event, that's neutral. Something like you miss a deadline, it's a fact. There was a deadline, you missed it. Or if there's a market downturn or if there's a critical email, maybe there's a promotion. All these things are emotionally neutral. They're just events. But the brain wants to make something of it. It wants to understand what does this event mean? Is this event a threat or is it an

6:12 opportunity? And who am I in this moment? So that interpretation of the event but not the event itself, that's what drives behavior. So leaders shape interpretation. And this is really important because if we as leaders do not supply meaning to these events, then people on our teams are going to start creating their own stories. And those stories are often fear-based. The second stories matter because leaders manage strategy. And they let me go back. They manage strategy. They manage nervous systems. So we'll talk a little bit more about uh brain anatomy, but essentially when uncertainty rises, there's that part of the brain uh

6:57 that's often called the lizard brain, which is the amygdala back in the brain stem that activates when we're nervous about something. And people want to scan for safety cues to understand what's going on. If not, anxiety is going to spread quickly. So a clear grounded narrative is what will provide psychological containment. For example, sharing stories with your teams like this is hard and here's why or here's what we know about this situation. By sharing even the very simplest structure like that um that can help with providing um a calm and reducing anxiety and this structure can reduce chaos. And finally, stories create

7:42 identity. Um, teams don't just execute tasks, right? We are human beings. We're not robots. We're not AI agents. Teams enact identities. So, every organization is telling a story about who we are as an organization, what do we stand for? What kind of people succeed in this organization? And what does failure mean? So organizations have unique cultures based on the values and the stories that are told and they bring those values to life by sharing stories. So for example when I worked at meta we had values like ship love and move fast and actually it started off as a value of move fast and break things and then uh we realized

8:28 that the break things part doesn't really work well when you're a very large company. It works okay when you're a startup. So that's when we shift shifted from move fast and break things to move fast and ship love. Meaning make sure that you're testing things enough so that um when we ship it we're we are sending out love to to our our customers and people would share stories that demonstrated those values in action and this is how those values were brought to life. So leadership is forming identity through narrative and now finally stories drive behavior more than data. So data inform, data appeal to our brains, but stories appeal to our hearts. Stories move us.

9:14 You can show people a sto a slide with lots of metrics and you know those of us math nerds will love it. Or you can say this is the moment where we choose who we become. So one engages the intellect. the the data, the metrics will engage the int the intellect, but the other the story is what engages the will. Now, people act when they see themselves inside the story because we're not numbers. So, if we see a bunch of data, that's tough to identify with. But when we hear a story, we can often identify with that. Maybe some of you, when I was telling the stallion story, you could identify with that. Maybe you've had experiences in your life where at first they seemed like they were horrible and

9:59 then later um with some time you were able to look back and think, "Oh, you know what? That actually wasn't that bad." So stories matter. Why do they matter? They matter because leadership is not control. It is authorship. And as a leader, you are constantly authoring the meaning of events that happen in your company. the identity of your team and the trajectory of your own growth. So let's dive into the first kinds of stories that we tell as leaders and those are the stories that we tell others. Now many of you are probably familiar with uh this very famous story about Harry Potter. Um it's it's a fairly

10:45 universal story in itself. So, we'll just walk through the Harry Potter's um hero's journey arc. So, Harry Potter starts off as an ordinary person, a muggle in the ordinary world, living under the stairs in a cupboard. And one day, there is a call to adventure. An owl brings him this invitation uh to come to Hogwarts to the wizardry school. And up to that point, he had no idea he even had anything to do with the wizarding world. So, there's some resistance. He has a lot of self-doubt. He's wondering, you know, do I really fit in or am I a muggle? And he goes through a lot of trials over, you know, the seven books, lots of um danger that's increasing along the way. He's fighting Voldemort. And along the way,

11:31 he transforms. So, he accepts his identity as a wizard and really as kind of the the leader of the wizarding world. And he accepts the responsibility and he returns as the protector of others. So he has grown into his responsibility but gradually not instantly. So um this is one example. Let's talk about another example. The story of the Lion King. So similarly um the hero's journey arc starts off with Simba um living at Pride Rock and you know loving life hanging out um and then his life is disrupted when Mufasa is killed by uh Simba's uncle Scar and there is flight. So Simba thinks it's

12:17 his fault because Scar tells him that he runs away. Um he avoids responsibility Hokkuna Matata. Um and then over time he starts recognizing and actually through a dream where his his father appears to him. Mufasa says remember who you are. And at that point he comes back and he returns. He recovers his identity. He fights off Scar and he restores himself as the rightful leader of Pride Rock. So again there was a whole journey that the hero goes through as part of this story. And I guess the leadership lesson of this story is that um avoidance might be part of the journey but leaders have to return and take responsibility. So this is where the hero's journey

13:04 comes in. And it's not mythology. It is really human psychology because stories create meaning. Meaning creates motivation and motivation sustains effort when things are hard. And as leaders, we know it's not always going to be easy. So we need to be able to help our team sustain that effort when things are hard. So the basic narrative structure is pretty simple. There's a hero, there's a challenge, there's a journey, and then there's a resolution. Hero, challenge, journey, resolution. Now one thing I want to be really clear about is I am not saying that we as leaders are the heroes. Um this is really about our

13:50 teams. Um the structure is there to support the team's journey. We as the leader are are the guides of this journey and the guide for the team, but we're not the actual hero. Um and that's a a pretty critical modern leadership insight because we don't want it to be about us. It should be about our teams. The team is the hero. The leader is the guide. The challenge is the dragon that we're fighting. And the vision that we have as leaders can help be the transformation. So, let's get into that hero's journey a little bit more and talk about um this very simple structure that uh Joseph Campbell

14:36 created that's it's regarded as the classic hero's journey and it actually contains the one that Joseph Campbell uh created contains 12 steps. It's pretty complex and so I'm not going to use that because it it gets way too detailed for our purposes. This is the the simple story framework um that we can use. We talked about um in Harry Potter and in the Lion King, there was an ordinary world, there was a call to action, there was a journey with challenges, there was an achievement, and the hero returns transformed. Now, for us as leaders, that five-part story sounds like this. First, there's the context. What was the ordinary world in the hero's journey for us as leaders is the context. Here's

15:22 where we are. Here's where we are as a team, as a company, um where we live, what we're doing. Like here's this situation. The second is the challenge, what is hard or uncertain, and identifying it really clearly so that people understand what we're up against. The next part is the meaning. Here's why it matters to us. here's why it matters that we are dealing with this challenge and that we're going to manage this challenge or beat this challenge or however you want to frame it. Um, fourth is agency. Here's how you on this team play a role in this journey. And finally, the future. What here's who we become if we do this. Um, this is the vision. here's what we can here's what

16:09 can happen for us if we take on this challenge and get through it together as a team. Now, this works for change initiatives. It works for um helping to motivate your team after you've had a rough um quarter or if you had a failure. If you tried something and it didn't work out the way you wanted it to and you're trying to motivate the team again, um, you know, helping with team morale, this is a way that you can structure the narrative to structure the story that you're telling them to help motivate them to to hang in there and to to keep going. So, um, now we've talked about, so we talked about, um, the structure of stories that we tell other people to help motivate them. Um now I want to talk about the second type of story which I mentioned which is the

16:54 story that we tell ourselves as leaders and this is not typically what we talk about when we talk about narrative storytelling for leaders but it's super important. So I want to share a couple of stories that I used to tell myself as an example. So when I was in college um and actually in uh like growing up in high school I always loved theater. I loved doing plays. I loved writing plays and it was something I just really enjoyed. So when I got to college, I was thinking that maybe that's what I would like to do. Now I grew up in a family that is very conservative and did not feel that that was a um a a good path for a career. And my parents were very adamant when I told them, "Hey, I'm

17:41 thinking about becoming an actress or going into theater." and they were not happy about it at all. Um, I was a freshman in college when I tried to tell them this and they basically told me, "We're not going to support you if you do this. We're not going to support you financially and we really think it's a bad idea." So, you know, at that point, I had a decision to make and I decided, well, I think I'm going to I was in Navy ROC, which is a a an officer training program for the US military. And I thought, well, I guess I'll I'll stay in this Navy training and see what happens. And literally a couple of months later, I went on a field trip to a bunch of air stations and that's where I saw jets and airplanes and I was fascinated and it

18:27 really literally changed my life. So I share this story because for many years I blamed my parents and I said, you know, if only they had supported me, I could have gone and done this thing. But what I really had to recognize over time is that I needed to choose a better story about what happened. What happened was I told my parents I wanted to try this thing. They said no. My story was um it's their fault uh that I didn't get to like have my dream of being an actress. But the story I chose eventually to replace that story with is my parents were doing the best that they could and they loved me and they wanted to protect me and they knew how hard it would be if I took that

19:14 path. Um and and I also had to take responsibility for my own choice of not going down that path. If it was something that I like couldn't live without doing, then I could have gone down that path and maybe I would not have had my parents' support for a couple years. Maybe I would. Um, but I also made that choice. It was my own choice. So, I chose a story of agency rather than a story of blame. And it's really funny that, you know, even though I ended up not going to into theater, um, that part of my life still popped up. I would still um do plays, community theater or you know eventually I wrote a onewoman show about my time in the Navy. So like those things it's still a part of my life but just not in the way that

20:01 I thought it was going to be when I was younger. So that's one example of um changing the story in my own head about what an event meant. The second example is when I was in the Navy, um I was on the first West Coast aircraft carrier that had women flying in combat jets. So, as you could imagine, it was a big change for everybody, not just the women, but definitely for the men who are very used to having an aircraft carrier with no women on board. And so, um you know, as one of the new pilots in the airwing, I struggled with my landings in the beginning. you know, it's it's difficult to land on an aircraft carrier and many pilots struggle with that. Um, and as you can imagine, since all of the women were new to doing this, some of us struggled more

20:48 than others. I was one of the ones who struggled more. And there were rumors, you know, am among some of the women that, oh, you know, the male pilots who grade us are are trying to give us harder grade or worse grades because they don't want us here. And I had to be really careful about what story I was telling myself about the grades I was getting because in the beginning my grades were not great. But um there were some male pilots who were also new and their grades weren't great either. And so I had to choose a story for myself that I am this is my first time um being out on the aircraft carrier and I have real things I need to learn just like the the new male pilots. And that story

21:34 opened up my own growth because I was more open to getting feedback. And luckily I had, you know, great mentors in my squadron who helped teach me how to how to land. And, you know, they were very demanding, but they also cared. They wanted me to succeed. So, instead of telling myself the story that some of the other people were telling themselves of, you know, this this feels hard. This must mean I don't belong or this might mean these these guys are out to get me. I really started practicing a different interpretation which was this feels hard because I'm new at this. Um, and just like any male pilot who's out here and who is new to flying on an aircraft carrier, I'm operating on the edge of my growth. So, I need to have some

22:20 compassion for myself and recognize that this is tough. But here's what's important. It's not like this um switch flipped overnight. It's not like I was feeling doubtful of myself and all of a sudden I said, "Oh, I'm just going to think that I'm I'm, you know, struggling and I'm gonna get better." Um, it didn't flip overnight. It takes practice. Every flight was practice. You know, I'd feel that surge of adrenaline as I was working on improving my landings. And I'd notice that old story trying to run of, "Oh gosh, are you sure you should be here?" You know, is this is this above your capabilities? And I'd notice that old story and I'd pause even if it was briefly and I'd deliberately choose the new one which is I'm learning like I am learning how to get better and I am

23:06 getting better. And over time something subtle um but powerful happened that fear of failing disappeared. Um it didn't disappear sorry the fear of failing didn't disappear but it stopped running the show. And that's what was really important for me is that I could choose who was writing this show that was going on up here, these stories that I'm telling myself. And what was happening was essentially neuroplasticity. So, I'm not sure if you've ever heard the term neuroplasticity, but it's this fascinating concept around how our brains are constantly changing and how the choices that we make can help shape how our brains are changing. So, I wasn't changing who I was, but I was changing which neural pathways I was

23:52 strengthening. And here's what why this matters for leadership. Most of the time when we think about stories, we think about the Harry Potter kind of stories, the stories that we're telling other people. Um, but long before we ever become leaders and need to influence a team or, you know, inspire people, we are living inside a story about ourselves. stories about wondering am I ready for this? Questions about do I belong? And these stories shape our tone. They shape how we show up as leaders. They shape our decisions. They shape our courage. And when we rewrite them, you know, not into fantasy, not into I'm king of the world or queen of the world, but into something more

24:38 truthful and more useful. We don't just feel differently, but we lead differently. And so, the most important thing I ever did to become a better pilot wasn't just in the aircraft. It was really the the stories that I was practicing in my head when I was lying in my bunk at night, you know, trying to get to sleep. It was what I was telling myself, the stories I was telling myself about what I was capable of. Um, and in those stories that I practiced, I was able to to shift the narrative for myself. And every leader here on this Zoom is probably practicing a story right now. And the question is, is this story the one that you want to strengthen your future? So, let's talk a

25:25 little bit about the physical brain and um our physical bodies for a minute. So, I want to ask you kind of a fun question. Um, do any of us look like we did when we were born? And hopefully you're saying no because I know when I was born I was 8 lb 7 oz. I'm definitely weighing more than that now. Um, I was 21 in long. Um, clearly we are not in the same bodies that we were when we were born, right? I am the same person but in a completely different body and our bodies are changing all the time. So neuroplasticity is the brain's ability to change the structure and function in response to experience. So in plain language your brain is not

26:13 fixed. It is shaped by what you repeatedly think, what you repeatedly feel and what you do. And this is why narrative matters so much for leaders. Um it's amazing when you look at how much the different parts of our body actually change. Our skin regenerates itself into every two to four weeks you have a new set of skin. Our gut lining it's every 3 to 5 days. So parts of our body are constantly changing and updating. Now our brain cells or the neurons those most of the neurons that you're born with are going to stay with you for life. But the connections between those neurons, the synapses are the things that are constantly changing. So think of um neurons as cities and

26:59 synapses as the roads in between the cities. So in our brains, those cities, the neurons, they stay the same, but the roads between those are constantly changing. Let me share a neuroplasticity slide slide with you. So while our neurons are relatively stable, the neural connectivity is highly dynamic, especially in adulthood. Who would have known? Like I hope you're excited to hear about this because when I was growing up um the common assumption was that you're born with certain talents and skills and intelligence and that they're pretty much fixed. They're pretty much set in

27:46 stone and so what you're born with is what you've got. That's what's called a fixed mindset. But the uh researcher and psychologist Carol Dwek, she coined these terms fixed mindset and growth mindset. And a growth mindset is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication, effort and learning. So shifting from a growth mindset can transform how people h handle life's challenges. So here we see you know on the left if you are practicing and repeating things you are strengthening those roads between the neurons so those roads get wider and faster with frequent use so that the signal can can transmit

28:31 faster. If you're not using those those uh synapses then they get narrower and eventually as you see on the right they disappear. So when we're thinking about a growth mindset, we're thinking about how do we thrive on challenges and how do we how do we recognize that we have the opportunity to develop our own skills by practicing them. These things are not set in stone. We can grow and we can learn more. We have that belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication, effort and learning. So some examples of a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset. So, a growth mindset loves a challenge because we know we're going to learn something. A fixed mindset will avoid it because a

29:19 lot of times we're afraid it's going to make us look like we're unskilled and we don't know what we're doing. A growth mindset sees effort and trying hard as a path to mastery. Whereas a fixed mindset views it as like why am I even going to bother or a sign that I I don't have the ability so why should I even try? Um, when someone with a growth mindset hears criticism, they look at it as an opportunity to learn, whereas a fixed mindset is going to hear it as uh personal criticism and will feel threatened by it. And finally, a growth mindset will find inspiration in others success. A fixed mindset feels threatened by it. And I think this one's really important, too, because as

30:04 leaders, sometimes we'll see our peers um succeed or get something that we wanted. And of course, naturally, we might feel disappointed. We might feel jealous. And that's understandable. We're human beings. But we can try to have a growth mindset about it and recognize, hey, this person got recognized. Maybe there's an opportunity for me and what can I learn about what they did in order to help my own achievement. So leadership growth happens through rewiring these connections. So just think the neurons that fire together wire together. And what this means is that every time a situation happens, an event, an experience, and you interpret that situation, how you want to think about it, and you tell a story about it or you

30:50 react emotionally about it, or you respond emotionally, you're strengthening that certain uh neural pathway that says, "This is how I want to respond in these situations." So for example um if you have a really stressful meeting you might feel um anxiety you might feel oh I'm failing I'm not doing my job well you might start avoiding doing things and that loop is going to start becoming faster and automatic because the more you think about these things in that way that road gets wider and those connections get faster and it's not happening because it's necessarily true um it's happening because it's famili familiar. It's because you're telling your brain, "This is how I want to interpret this." So, as

31:35 leaders, we we want to strive to respond rather than react. Um, I mentioned earlier the amygdala, the part of our brain that we like to call the lizard brain that is in the back. Um, this is, uh, you know, a biological part of being a human being. It's something that's, you know, been part of our brain for for a long long long time. And it kept us safe for a long time. So, it was really useful for survival. Um, but it's not so great for leadership because it's really meant to keep us alive in threatening situations. So, um, you know, way way back when when our ancestors would hear a rustling in the bush, the amydala would light up and say, "Oh, it's a lion. Get out of here." So, um, the challenge is that the world around us has evolved and most of us, I think, are

32:23 don't worry about lions and bushes. Um, and even though the world around us has become physically safer, our brains are still adjusting. And so when we feel a perceived threat, like someone criticizes our performance or we read the news, um, or someone, you know, makes a snarky comment about us and we hear it, that triggers our amygdala and our sense of fear and survival. And so what we want to do is train our brain to respond, not to react like we used to when it was a line in the bush. So responding it it involves the prefrontal cortex. So the part of our brain that's up front that is um the part of our brain that is

33:09 involved with reasoning and regulation. Now this is slower, it's more intentional, it's flexible. Whereas the amydala is fast, emotional, protective and engaging the prefrontal cortex enables us to be curious and empathetic and make a choice. So the good news is that you can train your prefrontal cortex, your brain to pause and to reinterpret and then to choose differently. So how do we do this? So, how we form new neural pathways? The first is awareness. You have to recognize it first. And so many times we're just so used to it, we don't um

33:55 you know, someone might say something critical about me and and the first thing I'm going to do is is is be upset, right? But instead, I could recognize, hey, someone it someone said something about me and I'm telling myself a story about this. So when you feel negative emotions, you have to first notice, hey, I'm telling myself a story right now about this event and that awareness in itself creates a gap where you can do the second step which is reframing. So you don't have to make it a you know this wild positive story just a more accurate or a more useful one. So instead of um you know saying this thing that happened means I'm not good enough, you can pause and then you can try

34:42 something more constructive like this feeling um is discomfort and I'm learning something new. So um rather than this event meaning that I'm not good enough, this event means that this negative emotion I'm feeling is discomfort with the challenge of of learning something new. So, it's the same stimulus, but it's a different meaning, which means it's a different neural firing, and you're building that connection between a more positive story about what's happening. Now, just like physical fitness, repetition is important. Um, you probably wouldn't expect to have amazing muscles after just going to the gym for one day, right? You have to go regularly. So

35:27 simil similarly when you're just starting to form these new neural pathways at first um they're not as strong as they're going to be once you practice them over and over those old pathways that we have you know they've been used a lot so they're fast and they're efficient and we have to make a an effort to constantly and consistently practice the new way to start building up those connections. So every time you pause and you reframe and you respond intentionally, you are strengthening that new circuit. So just like with weightlifting, um weightlifting is amazing when you think about it. When you lift weights, the microscopic like fibers in your muscles are actually breaking and then you have to rest so

36:14 that they reconnect stronger and that's how we build strength over time. And so similarly, we have to pause. we have to reframe and we have to respond intentionally to build these stronger neural pathways in our brain. Uh finally reflection and attention through reflection accelerates the plasticity because if you reflect after a tough moment you know you journal after something stressful happened or you talk through an experience with someone that you trust and that you want to um you know get this out of your head and just talk about it. What this is doing is it's helping the brain say this matters and you need to keep this pathway. So anytime you are, you know, working on

37:01 forming these new neural pathways, it's super important not just to stop, be aware, reframe, and and choose how you respond, but also reflect on it at the end of the day, at the end of the week, just to make sure you are training your brain that this is what really matters. So, so the takeaway from this is that um calm and grounded leaders don't just show up like that. Um in the pre-work you were asked to think about a leader who inspired you and leaders who inspire are able to pause and respond and do so in a way where they are telling themselves the story that um that is enabling their brains to respond

37:48 differently under pressure. Uh and they're not born that way, right? We have to practice these skills. It's that growth mindset of being able to change our brains and how we want to respond to situations. So the leaders that you um chose, they're leaders who have a growth mindset about learning to reflect on their behavior. So um a sentence I want you to remember is I may not control what happens. Like we can't control everything around us, right? I may not control what happens, but I do control the story my brain practices. Uh if you've ever heard of Victor Frankle, he is um he wrote a book called Man's Search for Meaning and he was an Austrian psychologist in a concentration camp in World War II. And he he wrote

38:35 this amazing book, Man Search for Meaning. But there's one quote in there that stands out quite a bit. Um it's a quote that says, "Between stimulus and response, there's a space, right? Stimulus, response, space. And in this space is our our power to choose our response. And in our response lies our growth and our freedom. So the way I like to think about this um the way I like to practice this is uh is when I'm driving in Boston traffic um and if someone cuts me off in traffic, that's the stimulus, right? Someone cuts me off, I have to slam on the brakes and I have a choice. And I I can take a breath and try to put some space between that stimulus and my response.

39:22 And I try to remember that I have no idea what's going on with that driver, right? I don't know if they even saw me um when they cut me off. I don't know if they're rushing to get to a hospital to to, you know, see a loved one who may be harmed. They might just be, you know, impatient and wanting to cut in front of me. I get to choose how I want to respond to that. event and um you know I I'd like to think I I try to think the benevolent uh thought not always but you know I think it's an example of we get to choose how we want to respond to these experiences and these events. So some things to remember, repeated thoughts become those default neural pathways.

40:09 Um stress will push us into the older um faster fear-based stories. But the more you can recognize that and just stop and recognize that it's happening, that's a huge step. Awareness, that first step is huge. And then reflection and repetition can literally reshape your brain. Your brain is going to believe whatever you tell it the most. So just think about what you're telling yourself the most. Um, a couple of different examples of reframing. And especially with leaders, these are some things that you might be thinking as you're starting your leadership journeys. One, I'm not ready yet. Um, two, everybody else knows more than I do. Or three, if I mess this up, it's going to define me. But you have

40:56 the choice to reframe the stories that you tell yourself and do so in a way that feels honest. Right? Maybe instead of saying I'm not ready yet, you can say I'm learning, right? Um something might happen where you can say this is a stretch. This is not a verdict on who I am as a leader. Or also I can be brave without being perfect. So having compassion for yourself and thinking about some of these stories and I would encourage you, you know, after our class is done to think about a leadership challenge that you might be having right now and what is the story that you're telling yourself about this challenge um and maybe think about a more useful story that you could practice instead.

41:41 So just remember we're not necessarily looking for a positive story, we're looking for a productive story. So, what is a story that you can use to reframe the situation and to strengthen that neural pathway um between those neurons in your brain? So, just as a summary, I'm going to wrap up. We covered how to structure the stories that you're telling other people using the hero's journey, that narrative arc. We also looked at the power of the stories that we tell ourselves and our power to choose what those stories are. I shared the four steps to build those stronger neural connections between a stimulus and a response that you want using awareness, reframing,

42:28 repetition, and reflection. And hopefully you have a note to yourself to think about the stories that you're telling yourself right now about your capabilities as a leader and to consider some reframing that will support the leader that you want to be. It's been my honor to talk with you about storytelling. Um, I can't thank you enough for being here today because the world really needs leaders and I'm so grateful to all of you for taking the time to invest in yourself and to invest in this leadership journey and I'm delighted to take any questions that you might have. >> Wonderful. Thank you so much. um always appreciate how you have such nice balance personal stories and tips for

43:14 everyone that's applicable to everyone's own leadership journey. So really excited um to hear some follow-up questions from the learners. >> Um we'll start with a couple questions from um participants who have been invited as panelists and then we'll also take some from the chat. So, what's going to happen is I'll um unmute you and or ask you to unmute and um put a spotlight on you and then um I'll ask you to introduce yourself and where you're coming from. Um if I mispronounce anyone's name, please um do let me know um so I can correct it. Um we'll start with Brian Leon from Kenya. Why don't you come on up and share where you're coming from and your question, please. >> Hello. Nice to meet you all. Uh my name is Brian Lean from Kenya. I'm currently doing my MBA abroad in China and I I am

44:03 quite interested in your career background because you also have an MBA as I had. So I have two questions. First of all, why did you choose to go for the MBA? And secondly, how did it impact your career and so far what how has it transformed wherever you are? Because I'm currently in my first year and I'm trying to look for the direction up ahead. Thank you. >> You're welcome. Thanks Brian. Um I um I wanted to get an MBA because I felt like I had great experience in the Navy leading people. Like I felt like the military gives us a lot of opportunities when we were very young uh to be responsible for a team. So I felt like I had gained a lot of experience around that. But I knew I wanted to go work in the business world and I really knew

44:49 nothing about accounting or strategy um you know or operations in the sense. So I felt like I it was I recognized which um you know we talk about our leadership toolkit and the skills that we need. I had some tools but I knew that there were some other tools that were missing and an MBA was going to teach that for to me. Um and as far as the impact of the MBA, I'll say one of the biggest things is the incredible network of um other students that I I went I I met from going through my MBA. In fact, in just a few days, I'm going back down to Philadelphia for our 25th reunion. And it's just amazing how we've all kept, you know, most of us have kept touch over 25 years and gone through so many different phases of life together and

45:35 we've been able to support each other through those. So the impact of the MBA um I think for me personally was just meeting some amazing people and you know similarly you all are going through this Aspire leadership program together and you're going to form friendships and connections that will serve you throughout your leadership journey. So, um, yeah, I really, uh, focus on the relationships because I've, you know, I've forgotten a lot of things in my finance classes to be honest. But, um, but the friendships and those relationships, I haven't, those have, you know, stayed strong over the years. >> So helpful. Thank you for that. Um, how about we ask, uh, Angela, why don't you come on up and share your question and

46:20 where you're coming from, please? Thank you so much. Hope you can hear me. >> I can. Hi, Angela. >> Hi. My name is Angela from Uganda. >> Angela. Hi. >> Hi. My question is about what story do you tell yourself when you're being rejected in a gender related industry? Like as you said in your story, it was male dominated. And I'm also a network engineer who has been rejected in jobs because of because I'm a female. So which story should I tell myself that should should keep me keep me moving in in the right direction? >> Yeah, thank you for the question.

47:07 The story that I told myself when I was in a similar situation in the Navy is this is this is an environment that is not used to having me. um that doesn't mean that it's okay. That doesn't mean it's okay for people to treat me um in a way that's not fair. And so I think that there are times where I had to decide what where I wanted to speak up about it and when I didn't. And the story that I told myself was, I'm going to do my job the best I can. And I am going to do whatever I can to help bring other women into this world to help change the system because I think this gets back to what we can control and what we can't.

47:52 So there is systemic inequity there that that we can we can do something about um but we can also only do so much about. the the most we can control is how we want to respond to these things. So I think the story that that we have to tell ourselves is how can I show up as best I can and recognize that when someone is saying something derogatory towards me that's more about them and their own issues than it is about me and my capabilities. So just remembering that everyone's got stuff going on. It doesn't excuse bad behavior. It's absolutely not an excuse for people to do bad things.

48:37 People have different upbringings. They have different things that are happening. And so I think um understanding that when someone is not, you know, behaving nicely towards us, it's not it's not okay. We don't accept that behavior, but we also understand that it's about them. It's not about us. >> Really important. And I think that also got to something that I saw in the chat too related to different um genders within certain careers and things like that. So really relevant and I know in a lot of other people's minds as well. Um let's ask another question from the chat that I see um from Abdul Nesser. Um and the question is as a young leader working on an educational project, how

49:23 can I use storytelling effectively to help students become more confident, engaged, and motivated to learn? H so I think you know with um with young students young students love stories right they're like the best audience for stories because they get it like this is how this is how we all learned how to be in the world right we heard stories from our parents our teachers um who and those stories taught us about how to be in the world so what's okay what's not okay and so um I think looking at what it is you are trying to what you know lesson or um takeaway you're hoping these students will will get from um

50:11 whatever it is you're teaching and then trying to fit it into that story format can be really helpful. Also, I mean, we're so lucky to have um I mean, there's definitely pros and cons, but AI is an amazing resource for trying to find stories that might be relevant to a particular topic. So, I've definitely used AI, you know, to uh to suggest things. It's not always great, but at least it's an interesting thought partner when we uh are looking for stories that might help get a certain lesson across. So, I would encourage you to just think about what is it that I want them to take away from this story and then think about what kind of story would give them that takeaway. >> Great. Really helpful. So, yeah,

50:56 thinking kind of that backward design in terms of like where you want them to end up. Great. Um, how about we ask um Raul, why don't you come on up and share your question and where you're coming from. >> Hello, good evening. >> Hi. >> So, my name is Rahul. So I'm from India currently living in Maldives. So I just have a small question. So uh during the session you were talk about difference between the growth mindset and fixed mindset and I found it very insightful. So my question is sometime people genuinely want to grow and learn but due to the difficult circumstances or the personal challenges or stress pressure kind of things so they get stuck

51:42 >> and fall into the fixed mindset temporarily. So in that situation what practical steps or habits can someone shift back from the fixed mindset to the growth mindset. So >> I think theoretically it's good to say but how we can bring it to the profession this personal life. >> Thanks Rahul. I I think that um recognizing it first is really important. So if we are telling ourselves a story that we can only do this um recognize that and then start reflecting is this really true? Um, are there maybe examples I can look towards who of people who maybe were in a similar situation but chose to try this

52:28 thing anyway? I I love seeing inspiring stories of people doing things, especially now as I'm getting older, seeing people who are my age or older trying completely new careers, new hobbies, new things like that just to and it it demonstrates that, you know, there is that opportunity to always learn something new. But I think if you have someone who's in a fixed mindset who thinks I can only do this much or I'm only capable of this much. Um I, you know, I'll always recommend working with a coach because I think coaches are really good thought partners and mirrors to help challenge that fixed mindset and um and you know kind of dig into it. So let me just give you a quick example. Um if this is not true for me, but let's just say that I want to become uh I I

53:15 decide, hey, you know what? I really want to become an Olympic rower. Like I want to be, you know, I want to start rowing and I want to get so good that I make the Olympic team. You know, it's a pretty small percentage that that's going to happen to me at my age and my physical capabilities. But if for some reason I just have it in my brain I want to do it. Um that is uh that's actually a growth mindset in the in the the sense that I believe that I can go out and try this and do it. I have that perspective that I can I can do something that might not be my natural talent, but at least I'm going to try and I know even if I don't make an Olympic team, I'm going to grow, right? If a fixed mindset would be, wow, you know, I watch the Olympics

54:00 and I see those rowers and I would love gosh, I would really love to do that, but there's no way at my age I'm ever going to do that, right? So, I think it's it's really reflecting on what matters most to us and then checking in with ourselves about is this something that I still want to try anyway because it matters a lot. So, with a fixed mindset, you might think, you know what, this is something I'd really like to do, but I just don't think I'm going to be able to do it. It's kind of like where I was honestly when I was in college and I thought I wanted to be an actress. I had a fixed mindset of well if I was really good I would be able to go do this and not care about what my parents think. So to answer your question, Raul, I think I would say um really check in with yourself about what it is you you want

54:46 and why you feel stuck and why you feel like you can't make changes and then maybe talk with a friend and, you know, play devil's advocate and say, "Well, maybe you could do this and what would that look like if you were to do it?" But yeah, get out of your head and start talking about it and don't just tell yourself that story. >> Thank you so much. >> You're welcome. >> Great. Thanks for that. Um, and great practical advice. I know others are probably in the same boat there, too. Um, how about we ask um, Lillian, why don't you come on up and share your question and where you're coming from. >> Thank you for the opportunity. Um, Lillian from Ghana, currently studying an undergraduate program at Laboratory Science. And please my question is as a

55:32 leader how do you share personal stories when things are normal like there's no conflict and everything but then you have to share a story just to keep your team going. How do you share a personal story without sounding vulnerable or as a weak leader but then as confident? Oh, that's such a great question, Liam, because I actually feel that vulnerability requires a lot of strength. And I think there that often people might feel like vulnerability um when a leader is vulnerable that that means they're weak. I think when I think about leaders who share personal stories about challenges that they've had I for me it actually makes me feel more connected to them more like wow okay if this person has had that challenge and they've still you know been able to

56:19 become the leader that they are then maybe that means that I also can overcome challenges and become a lead you know a leader so I think that um I would really encourage people to to not be afraid of being open. Now, you know, of course, we don't want to do what's called trauma dumping where we just like share everything. But I think I mean like you know, today when I share the story about being in college and blaming my parents for a long time, um you know, that was a I I'm it's a tough story for me just because I love my parents and I don't want them to feel like, you know, I ever um didn't love them or, you know, was unhappy with them. But hopefully it also resonated with some people about how it's easy to not take responsibility

57:07 for things that we actually can make choices about. So, uh, but I also want to address your question about how like when things are going fine, which is wonderful, right? You still want to be able to share stories that can inspire your team. And I think part of it is just recognizing, you know, I I one of part of that structure, that story structure is here's where we are right now. And so if where we are right now is not in crisis, that's great. I think it's I think it's worth celebrating actually is, hey, here's where we are right now. Things are going really well, let's let's recognize that because the team's been doing great work and let's think about, you know, how how might we celebrate that and then also um where are we headed to and how are we doing on that journey. So, um, being open and

57:53 sharing a a personal story, it's always up to each of us as to how comfortable we are with that, but I I do encourage leaders to um try to be a little more comfortable because people want to be able to recognize that you are a human being and that you're going to see the humanity in your team as well and recognize that the team has each person on the team is going to have their own challenges, too. So, thank you for your question Lillian. >> Thank you very much. >> You're welcome. >> Great. I think this also kind of goes into something that came up in the chat that I'm interested to hear. Um, maybe if there's a different response or something else to consider. This person asks, this is Matt Matu in the chat says, "In an interview, how can someone

58:40 use storytelling?" So, noticing that like an interview versus a leadership role, >> vulnerability and things like that. That's a great example of where to use a story, where to use the storytelling structure because um I think as a hiring manager, I would like to hear how how have you dealt with challenges and um how have you been able to inspire others to deal with challenges. So I think you know being able to have kind of a bunch of stories that you can share before you go into an interview is really good preparation. So you can you can think of stories that address, you know, your ability to lead a team or your resilience or your ability to solve problems, your ability to um resolve conflict. And for any of those stories,

59:27 it's that same structure. You start off with here's the situation. Um the good thing about interviews is that you and maybe the team that you worked with, those are the heroes of that story. So you talk about here's here's where we were. here was here's what the challenge was. Here's how either you or you and your team or how you helped lead the team to overcome that challenge. Um and then here's what that meant. Here was the impact that it had. So, I think going through all these different examples of story of situations that you've had and telling the story around those situations is what can help you in an interview because you're demonstrating um behaviors and skills and choices that you've made that a

1:00:14 hiring manager might be looking for. >> Great. Thank you so much for that one. Um how about we ask um Joseph, why don't you um come up and share where you're coming from on your question, please? Um, are you able to We see that you're unmuted, but there might be a little bit of a lag. Can you hear us, Joseph? All right. How about we How about we hop over? Joseph, if you can put your question, um, you can DM me your question on Zoom. I'll try and raise it um, that way. Um, and then we'll ask

1:00:59 Maxwell, why don't you come on up and share uh, where you're coming from and your question, please. >> All right. Thank you very much for this opportunity and um, this was such a great talk to listen to. Um, Madame Lori Dro um the the part that stood out to me was um storytelling when it comes to um data although it's not too related to data but um you see >> Maxwell >> doesn't talk much right but then you

1:01:47 have >> sorry Maxwell I don't want to I don't mean to cut you off But your connection's going in and out a little bit. Can you try turning off your video? Sometimes that helps with a smoother connection. >> Okay. Yeah, please. Am I clear? >> Okay. Go ahead. >> Yeah. So, um I was saying that the part that stood out to me was um storytelling regarding um data, right? You said that data itself doesn't speak much, right? It depends on the story that you tell about it because people are not too much interested in data. Yeah. So um in my own view I can see that two people can have three different perspective on a

1:02:33 single data right and in that same vein I want to talk about team. So I have um actually I have multiple questions on my mind. So I'm going to be concise as concise as possible. So um the first question on my mind is that um in order to start a team right that is headed for a certain goal to achieve something right how to get people interested to actually come and join you so that you you you make progress toward that vision. Uh you have to do that through storytelling. You have to be transparent and they have to be they have to know um the place that they occupy in the team in achieving that goal. Yes. But um in

1:03:21 doing so um there might be a challenge and the challenge could be um maybe the the the skill that is needed to actually build what the team wants to build is universal. Let's say everybody has it but then um the idea behind how to build the solution is what is your take on that? So um having this idea of coming up with a solution, how can one actually share the story but protect the person's intellectual property um while still being transparent so that the team gets to know the vision is interested to get aboard and yet respect

1:04:08 um the ownership of the solution. Thank you. >> Sure. Thanks Maxwell. I so I think that when when you're working with a team the these are part of the the understandings of a team right you have let's say you have a team with five people on it and you're the leader so there's six people alto together there's there's six people and then there's the team right and so when you're making decisions about the team um maybe it's you know person A it's their idea but it's it's for the team so it's Not I think when you're working in a team- based environment, we have to be selfless in a sense about ownership. Um and we're doing things for

1:04:54 our team. And so this is, you know, it doesn't mean that you don't get credit. It doesn't mean that we don't celebrate um the wisdom of the people who are contributing ideas. But as a leader, you have to decide how much um ownership belongs to a certain person or and how much ownership you want to give to the team. So the choices that we're making, how do they contribute to the team's success versus the individual's success? Because you can have a group of individuals working on something or you can have a team and those are two different things. So, a team is going to be doing things to help the team. The group of individuals is going to be doing things that are going to help get to the goal,

1:05:41 but they're doing it based on what they want and how they're contributing. And this is the challenge of leaders. You're you're trying to get a group of individuals to work together as a team. So, um the storytelling is part of that journey. It's part of helping a group of individuals understand how are we as a team? What matters to us as a team and leaders have the responsibility to get to know each individual member of the team so that we understand what are the things that these people care about and how can I find something that they all care about that they're willing to work together to do something that is above and beyond what they individually want. So, as a leader, we have to get to know the people that we're leading so that we

1:06:26 understand what's important to them and then we can make a connection and use that in our storytelling in order to um help inspire them to work towards the vision that we're setting for the team. >> Um, thank you very much. >> You're welcome. Morgan, it looks like you're on mute. Oh, you're still muted. Sorry about that. I mismuted. Um, thanks again, Maxwell, for your question. And it goes along closely with another question um that I see in the chat

1:07:12 related to how to motivate a team and get people um kind of on board. Um and it says having a growth mindset, this is coming from Fortune. It says having a growth mindset as a leader is quite personal. So how do you inspire, transmit and reflect some of these virtues and positive attitudes to the people you lead and your community at large? >> Yeah, I think you know this gets back to Lillian's question which is about like what um how do how vulnerable are you as a leader with your team? Because if you are are clear about what you value um then the people on your if the people on your team don't support those values or they don't want to be working towards the same vision, you probably shouldn't be working together. So I think as you are looking at the vision you have for

1:07:57 your team. It's about being clear about what matters to you about what you know what values you have about this organization and about the work that you're doing. Um because like you know we all we each have our own values. We each have things that matter to us. And when you are on a team or if you are the leader of the team, it's important to know what that is because if there is a misalignment in values, it's going to be really difficult to work together successfully. So, for example, if you um if you like a lot of structure and that's helpful for you and you want clear expectations and um a clear deliverable, then you are probably going to have a hard time working in a startup

1:08:43 where things are constantly changing and um and you know, every day is chaos, right? So, but if you like that, if you like the energy of having to react quickly and you're it's easy for you to drop one thing and start another, um, then a startup might be the perfect fit. But a job at, you know, like IBM, which is very structured or um, you know, very set, that's going to be hard. So, it's knowing what matters to you and what you care about. And as a leader, you have to make sure that you are aligned with the values of the organization in which you're leading. Because if you personally don't align with those values, it's going to be difficult for you as a leader to inspire your teams if you yourself are feeling dissonance with those values. So, um I think recognizing

1:09:31 that, you know, not every team is going to work well together and as a leader, there are going to be some people that

…