⁠Nggak bahagia? Mungkin ini alasannya! - Maudy Ayunda’s Booklist

0:00 Are you happy? Don't you feel happy? A question that we often hear but rarely reflect on. Let's take a moment to really think about your answer. If the answer is no, try to dig deeper. Find out why you said no. Am I really unhappy or perhaps I choose not to be happy? In the book "Build The Life You Want" the authors, Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey, raise the concept of intentional approach to happiness where they believe that actually we can create happiness and control it completely within ourselves and what makes it interesting their discussion is based on scientific research and theories. So, let's discuss The first insight.

0:46 Happiness is a direction not a destination. It cannot be denied that happiness is often one of the biggest motivations for us to do something. Happiness is like the Holy Grail. Many people say, including myself, "I want to be happy no matter what" Well, according to this book, sometimes we are too obsessed in pursuing happiness without really knowing what the definition of happiness actually is. According to the author, we have to change that mindset, we should pursue wanting to be happier, not just being happy. What does that mean? In this book, happiness is described like a dinner which consists of a combination of 3 parts which are: enjoyment,

1:34 satisfaction and purpose, which means that to be happier we need all three in balance. One quote that I really like in this book is that enjoyment takes work and forgoing pleasures satisfaction requires sacrifice and doesn't last purpose almost always entails suffering. This quote invites us to realize that actually the key to being happier is to accept that bad things are part of our life, not an obstacle for us to be happy and I believe that too The second insight The four pillars of happiness Arthur and Oprah believe that happiness doesn't just come from an event or achievement,

2:22 such as marriage or wealth, because according to the research in this book, it turns out that these things only contribute less than 10% to a person's happiness. According to the author, happiness is the result of building meaningful habits in 4 aspects first: Faith or belief What they meant here is not just a certain religious belief, but rather something that we believe in and hold firmly as the values ​​and principles of our life, as the author said, "Happiness comes from intentionally living your values." Happiness comes when each of us live in harmony with our values ​​and beliefs. Second: Family I really like the way the authors describe family,

3:10 the most mystical kind of love, the love you didn't choose but is so intense. Third: Friends, Research in this book says turns out that friendship affects a person's happiness by almost 60%, regardless of whether they are introverted or extroverted. If you think about it, friends are actually the people we choose to be close to and love, right? So it's crazy to think how big of an impact they can have in one's life. There is one caveat about friendship in this book that I find really interesting, The authors said, if we often feel empty due to our social life, maybe we have too many "Deal Friends" or friends who have a certain function

3:57 instead of having "Real Friends" or friends who as Arthur and Oprah describe it as beautifully useless Lastly: work the author recommends us to appreciate the positive things in our work instead of focusing too much on looking for the perfect job Because happiness in work is not always about title or prestige there are four main factors that actually have a bigger impact on the satisfaction that we discussed earlier earning a decent pay, feeling appreciated, working with nice people, and doing meaningful work Third insight: See your emotions as a signal. One of the points that I really like in this book is the emphasis on seeing our emotions or feelings

4:44 as a signal that we have to pay attention to, not something that defines our happiness status. So if we feel lazy or angry or burnt out, maybe it is a signal from our body and brain that there is something in our life that needs to change, so the author recommends us to train our metacognitive skills through self-soothing techniques like journaling, meditation and others because then we can better understand and read our own emotions and finally have the freedom to react. Will I choose to feel these emotions, change the emotions I feel or even ignore them? and this kind of freedom brings comfort

5:30 to a lot of people because whatever we choose and however we react at least we know that it is fully our choice and not our emotions choice and now, so what? I think this book's approach to happiness is quite realistic because it shows that living without negative emotions is impossible. But one take away that I really like is you know understanding that your emotions are simply alerts and not always problems that need fixing. Sometimes maybe we just have to sit and feel these emotions as part of our lives process. Alright! Thank you for listening to Curious People! If you want me to read a book and share with you my favorite insights. Please give book recommendations in the comments below

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