Full transcript of “SMG4 Movie: Guns N' Puzzles”. Click a timestamp to open the video at that moment. Need another video? Use the YouTube transcript generator.
0:08 Your family hates you, remember? So, why don't we make a little deal? You help me and I'll help fix you by erasing those memories of that wretched family. My memories with them. Weapons here. Tupe and I are almost in position. You better have that distraction ready, buddy. Ladies and gentlemen, guards and guards, Mr. Puzzles written place spectacular will begin in just a moment.
0:56 [Applause] Hello, my cherished audience. Allow me to tell you a story. [Music] [Applause] [Music] Once upon a midnight rain, there stood a lonely little TV. He dreamed of entertaining the masses, of being adored, watched by millions. But no one wanted him. No, they feared him. Cast him out. For that he was thrown in jail. Can you believe that? Jail for dreaming. He felt incomplete.
1:42 Empty inside. Until one fateful day, he realized what it was he was missing. He needed a friend. Enter the basketball. Her name was Leg Beggy. Wonderful. Perfect Beggy. The only one who would ever give the TV a chance at friendship. The only one who would ever listen to me in him. But how how would the TV earn her trust? [Music] Enter the toaster. [Music] Brave, strong, gullible. The toaster
2:34 made a deal with the TV. He'd break the TV out of prison. And in return, he'd do one teensy little favor. Kidnap B. But what the toaster didn't know is that he was being played, fooled, tricked. The genius TV would swoop in at the last moment, heroic, glorious, disarm the toaster and save. And then then she would sing. She would finally see. Oh, Mr. TV, she'd say, "My hero, my best friend forever." and we'd laugh and dance and sing and never be alone again. The TV had done it. Now he didn't have
3:20 to sit alone in his cell anymore talking to himself. Talking to a basketball slowly, slowly slowly losing his mind. Oh, Mr. Puzzles, thanks for putting on a play as your final request before we can't wait to see it. I think you earned one more phone call. [Music] You've got a minute before showtime. Break a leg. Maggie. Leggy. I Maggie. How wonderful of you to One chance. Come again. You've hurt my friends. Me. You've negatively affected the lives of
4:06 countless people. Thanks. But I'm still giving you this one last chance. Nobody thinks I should prove to me you're not the villain they say you are. My dear, I swear on my CRT screen that I want to cast away my villainous ways. I hope so. See you later tonight. I think this will be good for all of us. [Music] Ladies and gentle criminals, put your degenerate hands together for Mr. Puzzles play spectacular. Showtime.
4:59 [Applause] [Music] Greetings, my cherished audience. Allow me to tell you a story. [Music] Come on, Master my talking about this needs something to
5:46 move. Please, please hold your applause. This is only act one of eight. [Music] You You're seriously going to go behind me? I made them stronger. They need me.
6:40 [Music] Okay. Okay. I'm good. Thanks, buddy. [Music] I love popcorn. What the sewing unit? What kind of prison has a sewing unit?
7:27 Down. Who goes there? [Music] Oh, hey you whippers snappers. It's your girl, the new president of the sewing club. I just wanted to show my uh son where I work. Goooo Gaga. Yeah, nice try, mister, but that president is right over there. release me. Oh. Uh, well, are you sure I made this wonderful sweating?
8:13 I don't think I like this better. Get them, boys. Wow. Thanks, little squirt. Looks like we need to go with plan B, just like we rehearsed. [Music] And now we arrive at our dramatic grand finale. So get ready, V. You [ __ ] Oh, look. My dancing buddy is here. What? [Music]
9:00 Sorry friends, I got to go. We're glad you came to enjoy the show. Moon's my stars, my guy. Let's do that sail ride. Uh, we really should be on our way. Don't know the words or what to say. Um, okay, that's enough for today. Hey, it never has to be in a show like this beforehand. No can hold a tune like mine. Not without me by your side. [Music] [Applause] [Music]
9:45 [Applause] Huh? Come on. They aren't going to keep clapping forever. You hear that? They want an encore. [Music] Ha. Yes, I haven't. I cannot believe you're seriously letting him into my castle.
10:31 I haven't forgiven him. But I promised Leggy I'd help. That's what good people do. Hey, being the good people is the problem. Maybe this time we should stop playing heroes and start acting smart. He doesn't deserve another shot. He deserves to be shot by my turret. Sorry. [Music] All right, fine. I get it. Box head's going to get impatient. Box head. And I chose to spend my borrowed time caring for the elderly. For your sake, I really hope you've changed.
11:17 Yes. Now that's what I'm talking about. You ought to get yourself locked up more often, Shakespeare. Oh, be careful what you wish for, my friend, because I have more fun thrills in store. Uhhuh. Spill it, Broadway. How do you feel about a kidnapping? Oh, straight into it, huh? Uh, it depends. Who are we kidnapping? Oh, I have someone of mine, but that's beside the point. Imagine it. A prison break and a kidnapping all in one glorious night. A criminal double feature. Oh, don't make that face. I'll wipe those memories of your family when we're
12:06 done. Remember? Just like you want it. Or, and hear me out, we rob a bank. Big and loud. Lots of shooting and explosions. Real Saturday night energy. No, no, no. We're doing the kidnapping. Trust the vision. Now, come along. Hey, what's with you? Why this? What's so important about this kidnapping gig? Because I want to. And it sounds fun. Uh-uh. That's not it. I know crazy when I see it. You're hiding something under all that jazz. If we're doing this, I
12:51 need to know why. Teamwork, remember? I just have to. All right. [Music] I'm not getting into it, but this matters more than you know. If I don't do this, it'll eat me alive every day, every night. You know what that feels like. You of all people. Just this once. After that, banks, explosions, fireworks, your pick. Just let me have this one. Okay. But I'm driving. Yippee.
13:42 my bike. I love taking things. That was a great show puzzles, but it's time for you. Oh no, it was a fake. [Applause] Where the hell did you walk in the handicap zone? My back was hurting. I thought that counted. Inexcusable shot. [Music] You couldn't have done that sooner. Hell yeah. That's my half point. [Music]
14:42 What the hell are you doing? Defending is what I have available. Stay up my [Applause] [Music] [Applause] attention, officer. You're all on paid leave starting now. Good job. You earned it. Now go away. Yes, sir. Huh?
15:28 Wow. As much as I want to punch you, thanks for saving us, I guess. Oh, I know. It's hard being so brilliant sometimes. I have to admit, I haven't felt a rush like that in a long time. Not since [Music] Huh? [Music] You're lucky here. [Music] Heat.
16:41 Uh-oh. Looks like somebody's running low on vroom vroom juice. Little wittle snacky wacky big guy. Why do you talk to him like that? Like what? Oh, my little Ty whoopy. You want some milk? Maybe a bedtime story in a Teletubbies marathon? You're embarrassing yourself, Box Head. I don't talk like that. Hang it right up here. Too woopy. There you go. [Music] [Applause] [Music]
17:33 Relax, box head. We lost them, didn't we? We're ghosts in the wind. Yes, right. Of course. [Music] I get it. You know, the obsession, the planning, always watching your back. Can't shut your brain off. But for once, for tonight, just try to at least enjoy something. Yeah. [Music] Even if it's as simple as a dumb gas station snack. [Music]
18:18 All right. What the [Music] I am the death cube. Resistance is unwise. Wait, you're the death cube, but you're a rectangle. More like the death tangle. Well, no, wait. Death fridge. I like that one. The death cube detects mockery. [Music] Heat.
19:15 [Music] Look at that.
20:02 Sexy cues in your area. Take that. Heat. [Music] Heat. Heat.
20:55 [Music] You screwed with the wrong family. [Music]
21:40 [Applause] Looks like we're even, Fox head. Seriously though, we rock. Someone ought to put us in a movie. [Music] H [Music]
22:28 You of all people should understand why he's getting that sentence. Do you not remember what he did? Box head's going to get impatient. Huh? Sorry. [Music] M [Music] want me to order something edible? I heard the takeout around here is pretty good. Uh, that would be great. Better than serving charcoal surprise, right? [Music] I thought you were against helping puzzles. I absolutely am against helping puzzles.
23:15 I'm helping you. Let's go. All according to plan. [Applause] I was like, bam. And then out of nowhere, bam, flatten that fridge like an old pizza box. A five-star scene if I've ever seen one. Absolute cinema. Move out of the way, Hitchcock. H [Music]
24:05 almost at the showgrounds. I hope you're really coming. They all keep saying you won't. I can't believe that I'm the only one who's still waiting for you. Please don't let me down. Hey, about that wiping my mind of my family thing you keep dangling over me. Mhm. Forget about it. I'm good. Huh? Yeah. Shocking, right? But I've been thinking all that pain crap with my family, I carry it. And I'm still kicking. I'm still me. And I don't know, I think that means something from that last blast against the death
24:51 fridge. Keep it, you know, for all the goopy sappy memories we're apparently making tonight. Look, I'll help you with this kidnapping thing. Guess I got your back no matter how crazy this gets. But you should think about letting go like I did. H [Music] fork's coming up fast. Better pick a
25:36 lane before Jesus picks one for you. Living life on the edge. I like it. Yeah. All right, let's crack this party. No, we have to lure them into a false sense of security for dramatic effect. Just wait for my signal.
26:27 [Music] Hey yo, what the Get me out of here. Sorry to oneman show tonight. [Music] Showtime. [Music] Well, someone's been busy. Stand down, geniuses. [Applause] [Music] Welcome, puzzles. Fashionably late as always. What can I say? I like to make an entrance. [Music]
27:19 But for some inexplicable reason, I'm feeling a sense of distrust among you all. I've got a few questions before anything else. Fire away. I've got nothing to hide. Come on, Box Head. Where's the signal? Huh? [Music] So, you said you've changed. Prove it. Make us believe you. I've been doing oh so much. From cleaning prison cells to offering my food to others. You would not believe the amount of smiles I've seen ever since I changed my ways. And you just
28:04 had this sudden change of heart out of nowhere. Empathy, dear Maggie. Days of solitude made me realize I was missing that. It's why I even provided service to that old feeble man I sent you a photo of a couple of days ago. Why? Just yesterday, me and him. When you sent me that photo, you said those were the old man's final hours. His final hours? Well, he made a full recovery. Oh, these last few months together have been hard fought. You said you just met him a couple days ago. Puzzles. What's really been going on?
28:51 Well, surprise dinner guest. Anyone? It's him. This time I'll light him up. Wait, don't shoot. Megie still owes me money. [Music] [Applause] All right, let's get out of here. Hulk, foul machine. You dare interfere with our feast?
29:37 Huh? The hell are you doing? There. That ought to teach you to mess with my friend. I I can't believe it. Guess you're full of surprises after all. Thanks, Mr. Puzzles. Oh, what was that? I couldn't quite hear you all. Thanks, Mr. Puzzles.
30:23 Mr. Puzzle. Oh, the feeling of praise. I'll cherish this for the rest of my life. You actually did it. You changed. Thank you, Mr. Puzzle. You son of a [ __ ] [Music]
31:13 You don't get to just run away. What about the breakout running from that bridge? You offer to erase my memory. Scare me the traumatics. You see though we were a team. me. We're friends. Don't you get it, you idiot. There was nothing between us. You mean nothing to me. A mere means to an end. What the heck was that?
31:59 You know what? Why don't we see how they feel about your little performance? Everyone, this whole thing was a Hey yo, what the Holy cow. [Music] [Applause]
32:47 I trusted you. I thought you were finally beginning to understand. You could never understand. All right. There's only one person who could ever truly be my friend. You don't deserve real friends. 9.
33:36 [Music] It's no only capable of bonding with a mindless fly. Heat. Heat.
34:38 had enough yet, pal? You're a waste of time. It's no wonder your family you Excuse
35:30 me. Just so you could play pretend and trick someone else into being your friend. Why? So you could use them, too? [Music] After everything I did, after I trusted you against every warning, against my own gut, you still found a way to twist it to lie to manipulate me.
36:16 Maggie, hold on a moment. I can explain. Don't bother. You saw I improved. I I changed. You'd really trust a random crux word over mine. I don't need to trust him to know it was all an act. What? No. No. No. Please listen. I I thought if I could just win you over, then maybe win me over. Is this all just some twisted game to you? Don't you see how hard I tried for us? Please, God, just give me a chance. I did. I believed in you. But SMG4 was right. You're never going
37:03 to change. you. [Music] Criminals detected. Activating extreme
37:49 violence protocol. [Music] What? Huh? [Music] Apologies for the disturbance. Citizens, please accept this coupon for repairs. [Music]
38:41 1% off. What a ripoff. [Music] You You were right. I'm an idiot. [Music] I can't believe I let him make a fool of me. You're not an idiot for giving him a second chance. He's an idiot for not taking it. [Music] What you
39:28 need? [Music] Wow. [Music]
40:22 Huh? You don't deserve friends yet, pal. I trusted you. What about the breakout running from that bridge? You, me, and Doom. I thought we were a team. We were friends. Friends, [Music] what am I done?
41:08 [Music] I'm going to fix this. Poor Mr. Puzzles. But screw Mr. Puzzles. He doesn't even know what he's doing, man. Isn't that right, Mr. Weapons? Well, anyway, hey everyone. Thank you all so much for watching the Guns and Puzzles movie. The movie was a blast to work on, and Weapons and Puzzles is definitely an interesting and weird dynamic, but they're very fun to write, and there is definitely more to the story to come. And to celebrate the end of this movie, we have released some new items for you guys. First off with the Mr. Weapons plushy. He's got a smug
41:54 smile, his big ass head, and uh unfortunately non-functioning guns. Sorry about that, guys. His design was definitely complicated to get into a plush form, but we're super happy with how it turned out. And next up, we got a bunch of Mr. Puzzles items, including a Mr. Puzzles plush keychain for hanging on your bag or hanging him like you're executing him. And next up, we got the Mr. Puzzles acrylic stand. Put this wonderful detailed artwork of Mr. Puzzles on your shelf now and gaze at him all day long because who doesn't want to? The acrylic stand comes with an attachable background and character slot. And next up, we got the Mr. Puzzles hat with a wonderful design on the brim, the front, and five stars on the back. Now, that's a Mr. Puzzles approved item. And next up, we got this Mr. weapons long sleeve shirt with a wonderful detailed illustration on the front and some cool ass weapons on the side. Lastly, we have this cute acrylic keychain of Mr. Weapons featuring a little tomb hanging for his life. And
42:40 you can get all these items at smg4.store. But be quick, there's a sale going on now that only lasts 2 weeks. So get it before it's gone. And with that guys, thank you all so much for watching this movie once again. And you know, we hope that you look forward to more stories. Isn't that right, Mr. Weapons? [Music]
