They try to find me in real life.

0:00 As you may or may not have noticed, a lot of my stuff has low-key sort of kind of disappeared. Don't you worry, though. I'm going to reset. I'm fine. Generally speaking, please just don't worry for me. So, as a YouTube viewer, you might not know, but there's been a big flaming pot of brewing in the background. To just put it short and blunt, for as long as I've been online, there have been a few problems. These problems would involve quite literally anything under the sun. From mass reports to death threats to image boards trying to geollocate where I live. I don't want this to become a super long video or a call out of sorts. And ultimately, I just want everyone to simply leave me alone. So, let's unpack this. So, if you're just a random viewer stopping by, hi. My name is Happy, if you didn't know me already, and I generally post animation memes in which I insert myself. In other words, I parody content

0:45 that's pretty much already on the platform. While suggestive content already largely populates the animation meme community, apparently, it is only a problem when I'm the one doing it. What does set me apart from others is that I am also obsessed with Vocaloid. So, you'll often find me pairing my garbage with utu covers that I cooked up myself. [Music] Sona back in 2017 when I was 17 myself and featured her on my not so family-friendly web comic. I didn't actually upload my first YouTube video, that being my channel intro, until 2018. I gave up Tumblr shortly after that. With the changing guidelines, a lot of the users basically dipped and with that most of my audience. I didn't actually consistently upload to YouTube until

1:31 2022 because my private life at this time was an absolute [ __ ] hole. I didn't get my first real surge of subscribers until I was discovered by the NSFW community in 2020. Wow, that's a sentence. Just as you know, a new target to sexualize and whatnot. The funny part here is that I'm actually asexual. That means I don't feel the need for anything, if you catch my meaning. It also makes it extra funny whenever people call me a gooner. It couldn't actually be further from the truth. Still, curiosity got to me. I followed some of them back and even experimented with a few suggestive pieces of my own and they loved it. For a while, I was the one creator to be fine with them, putting me on this massive pedestal, but I'd live to regret it. As I said before, my private life was ashole. Behind the scenes, I was in an abusive relationship with a very jealous partner who really unironically

2:18 wanted me to go and harass these NSW artists. I refused. Partially because it's obviously [ __ ] insane. Partially because confronting them is almost guaranteed to make them double down. Of course, finding NSFW of me was really unsettling at first. I didn't know how this would affect me in the future. But I also learned that it was legally considered parody, meaning I wouldn't really be able to do much about it anyway, even if I wanted to. So, I decided if you can't beat them, join them. My eggs didn't exactly agree with that sentiment. So, he went full Cold Steel monologue in these people's DMs. This whole spectacle wasn't anything new. I was already subjected to the constant ultimatums. Friends are him, hobbies are him. Of course, this would never really be said outright because that would be kind of evil, but it would be enforced through daily accusations of cheating and breakups. Whenever I

3:04 stopped chasing him and tried going cold turkey, he'd reel me right back in with ease. He made over 200 alternative accounts and would spit anything at me from, "See, I knew you were cheating. I didn't really break up. I was just testing if you'd move on." Two, I have cancer and I haven't got long to live. do. And maybe my favorite of all, my uncle died and I inherited a forest, which means I'm rich now. Sometimes he'd pose as strangers claiming I had driven him to suicide. Meanwhile, in public, he played the loving partner, so none of my friends or even my family would take my side. This is why the NSFW community actually mattered to me. They were my only friends and support, also giving me the courage to leave. But this support was only temporary. Honestly, I think the NSFW community generally has two sides. On one hand, when you give them

3:49 exactly what they want, they are amazing and supportive people. But the moment you don't, they turn against you and act like you've personally betrayed them. This community consists of, for lack of better words, a lot of incels. People society failed. No partners, no hope of getting partners, so they live on places like 4chan, dirt off to Jaden Animations. Suddenly, I'm receiving messages like, "You're faking your asexuality and draw a real NSFW already." And how can you draw NSFW if you're asexual? pick a side. Here it became clear to me that to them everything does just revolve around having sex. They quite literally cannot process the idea of experimenting with art for fun or you know money. Even the idea of not being attracted to your own art is completely far-fetched to them. Then they came in with the big guns

4:35 almost as if they were trying to convert me. The harassment worsened unsolicited nudes, rape, fan art, if I can even call it that, death threats. It really seems to me that these people are genuinely convinced that my asexuality is the only thing stopping me from providing for them and that trying to convince my asexuality is a myth would work in their favor. Meanwhile, the like two dozen people who actually did discover me on YouTubers started telling me that I had fallen off. I had thrown away my good reputation by siding with the bad guys according to them. That being the people that enjoy a crate and a W. I had lost my potential to become a good YouTuber like dating animations. They had already put me in this box. I wasn't allowed to grow or explore my art anymore. Experiencing push back from all the sides, I moved my suggestive stuff over to Patreon, thinking this would solve

5:21 the problem. After all, people didn't care what I wanted, and people will always blame the creator, as if making any NSFW content automatically justifies or negates any harassment that happens. So, you just have to deal with it as best as you can. My incel critics, and I'm really really stretching the definition of the word critics here, also saw Patreon as utter betrayal. And so to rally against me, they stole my Twitter handle, sent me gore, and leaked all my Patreon posts. They generally did anything to make me as uncomfortable as possible. Even after I bounced back and just posted whatever I wanted. The insults never stopped misrepresenting everything I did, like suggesting I drew NSFW art while not accepting NSFW fan art, even though I never actually voiced such sentiments. And I even retweeted a lot of NSFW art in support of these creators. Eventually, the only solution

6:07 I really had was to just close my DMs, something I absolutely hated doing because it also shits out the opportunity to meet nice people. So, that just sucked. Then the second issue began brewing. Children throughout everything, I continued posting to YouTube, just whatever was trending, hoping to branch into story time or commentary like some other creators already had. Having NSFW on the side on a separate platform isn't unusual. In the end, I just wanted to make whatever got views cuz if the save stuff nobody clicks on takes so much effort, why even bother? My channel barely even got noticed until my baller video blew up. It's always the [ __ ] baller video. Most of the comments I got over the span of a few months were from very, very young kids accusing me of posting porn just because my character is technically naked in some of the frames. And it's

6:52 about as naked as my YouTube stills are right now. So, you go figure. To this, I made two follow-ups. one poking fun at the Jaden knockoff claims, something every female animator is apparently guilty of, and one explaining the naked character. The latter, combined with the Roblox related video, made YouTube start recommending me almost exclusively to kids, deliberately searching for things like Roblox naked no blur and anime toe girl no shoes girl, which wait, what the [ __ ] does that even mean? Naturally, they would also brag about mass reporting me in the comments, probably as a way to like oneup their parents in case they get a hold of their search history or something. I don't know. I tried to ride the wave as well as I could, but would on off unless the baller video change channel tags, hoping to eventually tap into an audience that wasn't foaming at the mouth at the sight

7:38 of a glorified stick figure. Of course, people are always going to say, "Well, you made videos on things kids like." People just seem to ignore that animation meme trends can appear from any corner of the internet and blow up within any subcategory of the animation community. This would result into basically anybody copying these trends in a way that fits their channel. I'm no different than thousands of other creators on this site. I've never wanted to make kids watch my videos specifically. My videos are marked as for adults. You can tell because the comments are turned on. And on YouTube, where quite literally everybody lies about their age, age restrictions are practically worthless. Ironically enough, slapping a 16 plus or 18 plus disclaimer could make it easier for kids to find me since that is

8:25 exactly what they're looking for. When will we accept that kids aren't stupid? It's not like little Timmy is being held at gunpoint to Google Roblox feet. We've all looked up weird stuff growing up. It's part of life. Managing that is and will always be the parents job. Then the third issue unfolded. The self-appointed critics and the performative child safety brigade. They'll weaponize anything and I mean literally anything. No age disclaimer. Your videos that you have stated should be for a 16 plus audience are not labeled anywhere as such on the actual videos. Having linked my Twitter at one point in the past. She had her Twitter linked and her Twitter at the time had no indication it was 18 plus. Happy would openly favorite and post NSFW works on this account.

9:12 Having a Patreon, even if it's generally known that it's only gated to adults. Something something. Promoting an SFW Patreon to a channel that produces content that appeals largely to kids. Having retweeted a child's fan art when it's obvious I retweeted anything I was tagged in since you can't actually micromanage a following in the thousands. Lucy would have been 15 when they submitted the fan art. [Music] in their hands. Anything became evidence to their grooming fantasies or at the very least that I'm monetizing kids views. And you want to go around and talk about how minors shouldn't be in NSFW spaces when you've contributed to the endangerment of minors this openly. Then in order to expose me for my crimes, they would go on to broadcast my full handles to their own underage

9:58 audiences. No disclaimers, no age restrictions. essentially handing these kids a neon sign where to find the dangerous content. Some even go on to directly address the kids. And to any younger artists watching, and to any younger artists watching, imagine doing all the performative mumbo jumbo just to go on and broadcast said dangerous content to the kids on the channel. Not once did I see a message of spy telling Noi that he shouldn't be viewing her work because 2 years ago when this all started, she was still making openly suggestive work. If they really cared that much about child safety, do you think they'd at the very least censor usernames? Instead, they focus on muting the audio on a clip that's well over a minute long so they can monetize the video. Still making openly suggestive work.

10:48 It's blatantly obvious that this is just a harassment campaign under the guise of child safety. They throw out wild accusations like it's nothing that sound severe enough to distract from the blatant double standards. You can have your opinion about suggested content, but you can't heavily imply somebody is a groomer and then go on to openly broadcast the same content that you're condemning. When I called out this hypocrisy, pointing out how their actions were actually introducing kids to my content in order to harass me in greater numbers than ever before. [Music] They didn't even follow up on their own rules. No age restricting the video, no re-upload with any corrected information, just a pin comment nobody reads to fix half of the claims. This

11:34 pin comment would eventually span over half the page. So, that tells you all you need to know. There isn't even a single tweet expressing concern about all the kids running rampant in adult spaces regurgitating lines from the video. Instead of doing any of those things, they would respond by misrepresenting my worries and alleging that I had called them a groomer. To make this whole thing even more beautiful, they then updated their pin comment to include a link to this very Twitter argument, linking the underage viewers directly to the NSFW account. They just spent 50 minutes painting as a danger to kids. Apparently, endangering kids is fine as long as you need them as canon father when you can't win an argument organically. This obviously makes the whole video come off as super disingenuous. As much as these people want to frame themselves

12:19 as having the moral high ground, they're actually harmful both to the kids and the adult that they basically accuse. The more I voiced the problems with the video, the more harassment ramped up. They started to keep tabs on me. I already had them blocked only in blocking them periodically to as leave me alone. They screenshotted everything I said and twisted it to fit their narrative, always making sure to get the last word. Any genuine criticism both from me or my community is fully deflected. It is all replied to with snark, sarcasm, or even chocked up to harassment. Responsibility fully denied. [Music]

13:19 The issue here is is that carefully curated screenshots spread way faster than any explanation ever could. Bystanders will think that they've seen the full picture and will never look any deeper. And that's how you get away with everything. Cash in on being the defender of kids and cover up that you just encourage swarms of minors to harass an NSFW artist. I honestly could make a video talking about everything. How they would make excuses for not reaching out when they have had months to actually reply to me. How much was blatantly made up. How much my words got twisted after the fact for pointing out how truly scummy and disgusting it is to only start doing your due diligence after you received the backlash. I know this video in the end is only made to drag me through the mud. But I also know that it would turn into endless back and forth where I am framed as the bad guy

14:04 no matter what I say. The only reason I'm even bringing it up right now in a very limited fashion is because of how far this is going. Obviously, the end goal throughout all of this was just to be left alone. I didn't want to continue being stuck in this negative feedback loop that would fuel other people. So, I decided to just suck it up. I deleted my posts in which I defended myself, granting nobody any more substance to respond to. a certain someone was already fantasizing and kicking their feet in excitement at the thought of getting a video to respond to while also already fighting imaginary comments. There's literally layers to the delusion here because I never really ended up making this anticipated video. One member of the ACC because it's always art commentary adjacent people.

14:50 Vincent would take it upon himself to carry on with the legacy. Apparently, he had also been waiting for a video to respond to. And because he didn't want his efforts to go to waste, he ended up releasing a huge Google Drive publicly full of months worth of careful documentation of everything I did and say across social media ordered by date, topic, you name it. Anything possibly incriminating, or rather stuff he could twist to make me look bad. But with that also stuff that could be useful to actually figure out where I live. He do all this documenting from also and then he didn't. So we channeled reports for harassment through my community. This in return made him angrier. Claimed harassment also claimed I had things to hide. Really everything

15:36 I did in efforts to give ACC adjacent people nothing to respond to like auto clearing my Discord chats would be chocked up to happy covering up evidence and fuel them to dig even harder. In this Google Drive, I found a jumbled mess of what was going to be a YouTube video script. The script contained over 40 pages of miscellaneous documentation of nearly everything that happened in my personal life that I dared speak about from the comfort of my Discord server. Vincent grasping at straws to make me look bad. For example, stating that I am establishing parasocial bonds for personal gain by talking about private matters that I shouldn't talk about with fans. and he would have gone on to broadcast set private matters on YouTube. It is absolutely jaring to me that people just can't humanize creators in any way and seemingly even friendship

16:22 is a foreign concept to them. If I want to make an environment in which people are comfortable to talk about things that bother them, there's actually nothing wrong with that. He'd also bring up that we had gone on to speculate about someone trying to figure out the house and wise and framed it in a way that suggests that doing any sort of investigation is inherently bad. Now, what makes me different from these people, however, is that I can speculate stuff and then also recognize that it is only speculation and then not put this in a YouTube video. And so, after he dropped his stalker scrapbook, I gave him push back again. First over DMs, then a public post. He simply responded to this by privating his account and never publicly addressing anything. He didn't even delete the tweet until long after we got the drive itself removed for quite literally breaking the UK law. Vincen is intending to silently withdraw

17:09 until it all blows over, but damage has already been done. This wonderful, lovely Google Drive would immediately be picked up by this image board, Soy Jack Party. Notoriously known for taking down 4chan, but also for providing a platform for people who were banned from 4chan. These people are insanely bigoted and partially inspired by thinking I'm transgender. They have taken it upon themselves to geollocate where I live. They've got a hold of all these rumors about me that are propagated by a certain someone, but also leaked email addresses, phone numbers, and various other things from website leaks. And they have already skimmed through everything in Vincent's documents as they made a copy of it straight away. I mean, it's that easy. We did the same thing when it came out ourselves because we need evidence. What is insane is that this lovely person also never came

17:55 forward about any of this. clearly tied enough with Fininszand to encourage each other, stalking me and exchanging screenshots like Pokemon cards. Yet the very second [ __ ] backfires, they're both nowhere to be seen. As far as Soy Jack goes, they pass this off as Operation Goon Slop, and they lie to themselves that they target channels that groom children into porn addiction, regurgitating essentially the same baseless sentiment as a certain someone did over their video. somewhere I want to take it not too seriously, but since they also speak of coming to my house and sexually assaulting me, I can't help but be worried. I'm not claiming I haven't made mistakes. I've responded impulsively. I've been blunt and I've been defensive. And I said some dumb things without thinking about the long-term consequences, but I also won't say that

18:41 being under constant scrutiny and having your work reported and being painted a danger to kids doesn't drag you down. What many don't know is that I do have BPD. This is not an excuse, but a reason. My brain essentially sets off fire alarms every time I'm treated unfairly or if I'm put under a lot of pressure. I will immediately try to fix it at whatever cost and then spiral as a result. Even despite that, I've spent years cleaning up after every wave of backlash. I've went private. I restructured everything. I agegated my server by manually checking IDs. I purged miners. I unlin platforms. I joined Patreon's adult-only program, so kids quite literally cannot subscribe to me and so on. But that stuff never gets documented. No matter how much I adapt, the goalposts move. Honestly, I'm not

19:28 even really surprised anymore. We quite literally reward whoever cancels first. Empathy is gone. It's jarring that we're not seen as real people, but just content to ridicule. Nothing is contextualized. People aren't innocent until proven guilty, but instead nitpicked and pushed until they do say something stupid. It's surreal to watch people laugh and say, "Haha, you fell for the rage bait. You're not fit to be online." When I'm receiving photos of dead babies in my DMs for no reason. It's been kind of hard to navigate. I've been honestly cautiously optimistic about the recent laws and age restrictions. Done right, they could actually create safer spaces for everyone and give adult creators room to breathe. But outsourcing age checks to third parties puts everyone at risk for my daughter breaches. Having already been part a few of those and having recently also moved to the UK, I'm already put at significantly more risk

20:15 of actually being doxed. But I try to remain optimistic. I want to say I'm not really ready to quit, but I'm also really exhausted. For a while, my channel wouldn't even appear in search, only videos calling me a pedophile because YouTube considered those higher priority. Tik Tok, I can't post anything without it instantly getting flagged for adult nudity, even though it's nowhere close to that. I've lost several accounts while other creators thrive. Sometimes I lose accounts for community guidelines without even being told what I supposedly did. I'm just tired. It's been such a blow to my self-esteem to watch other people do the same as me and thrive. Even if I ignore all that, I'm still hit with restrictions and bans and other problems that fully affect my likelihood to basically outgrow this. But I have had fans who stuck with me throughout all of this. And for that, I'm really grateful. So, if you enjoy my

21:02 content and want to support me moving forward, please do interact with my stuff and really consider subscribing to Patreon because that seems to be the only place where I'm able to freely post without constant turmoil. I want to be able to create and I have many plans for the future, but I don't know if I should