Full transcript of “you can't change what you can't accept”. Click a timestamp to open the video at that moment. Need another video? Use the YouTube transcript generator.
0:00 The most paradoxical thing about change is that it only truly occurs once we accept ourselves as we are. And I know that seems like something out of the ordinary, or maybe it seems very ordinary. Regardless, it's true. I've recognized that whenever you want to change, whenever we get in the ruts of actually wanting to move forward with who we are, when we stop suppressing the parts of ourselves that actually seek out change, we recognize that those parts that seek out change, you know, those little nudges we have in our head that tell us >> [music] >> that we want to be different from where we are, that we want some type of change within ourselves or within our environment,
0:46 listening to that is in a lot of ways our acceptance. I think a lot of us don't change because we don't really accept what we're changing. So, in a lot of ways we're sort of acting as if what we need to change is already done. Or, more so, we're ignoring the fact that it needs to be done. In a lot of ways we stay in the same place. But, in a lot of ways I sort of look at that as a good thing. Because on the path of growth, we must at first experience what it means to be stuck. We have to in a lot of ways open ourselves to the idea that our own idea
1:31 is what's limiting us. I've been reading a lot. I've been doing a lot. I've been trying to be as present as possible. I've really been trying to live in alignment. And I'll as aligned with myself as I can be, at least these past 2 days. >> [gasps] >> But, regardless of which, something I've recognized is what we expect from ourselves, truly, is what we exhibit in the world. You know, if you expect yourself to not be able to really overcome the things that you want to overcome, you won't. And that's why I think our idea is the most limiting thing. Not really the idea of our issues, but our idea of our own ability to solve them. Because if we don't actually believe in our own ability to do anything,
2:17 then nothing often gets done. [music] And this is why I think it's the path, not the path that needs affirmation, but the self. You know, all of our ability to do anything is always vested within our idea. And if we want to really attack our limits, and we want to move past them, we at first have to move past our own idea. We have to get out of the the headspace that who we think ourselves to be is final. Because it's not. I think he who thinks the journey is over is the one that's truly lost. It's always the opportunities we give ourselves that truly show us, you know, who we are and who we have yet to be. And I'm recognizing too that who we are isn't something that we're finding.
3:04 It's something that we are. We're just becoming more aware of it. In a way, we're finding parts, but it's not like those parts outside of us. And they never have been. And the same thing exists with our limitation and also our freedom. You know, we wait for ourselves to be a certain way before we actually exhibit certain actions. But those certain actions were always possible for us. Our potential, our growth, our action, what we do, it's never really been a matter of potential. Not even ability in the terms of a physical sense, but ability to see ourselves doing it. The ability to get past our own mind about it. And and actually emerge into the moment where we belong. And for some reason, I recognize how easy it
3:51 is to sort of live in false expectation for yourself. To think that a lot of things aren't really possible for you. To think that you can't do what you can't with what you have. Well, we can always do what we can with what we have. And we always have been doing that. It's just about how much we've actually invested into that. One thought that I often look back to when it comes to life in general is that life isn't about what you do. It's life Life is about how you want to live it. How do you want to experience this life of yours? Because at the end of the day, it's yours and yours alone. Sure, you might share parts of yourself in pieces with other people. Sure, you might care for other people and they might care for you. But if we don't care for ourselves in
4:38 in a subtle way, that care is in vain. Because I think each and every person that truly loves us, that truly wants the best for us, wants us to want the best for ourselves. Wants us to be able to look at ourselves with a sort of grace and a sort of allowance that gives us a feeling of capability without even their support. And I think that's what it means to to sort of be able to grow. You know, we always are going to have scenarios and situations we might need support. But when it comes to ourselves, when it comes to our our personhood, our being, just being here, it becomes about you learning to accept the place that you're taking up.
5:24 You accepting the space that you're taking up, at least in a real way. When we don't actually acknowledge where our feet are, when we don't actually acknowledge the present moment for what it is, when we don't acknowledge the person in the present moment for what they are, all we're sort of left with is our thoughts about it. And living in our thoughts about who we are, while that sometimes is a comfort, it's not always the best thing [music] for us. Who we are is always going to be beyond the thoughts that we have because we can't think of every single reaction we might have. We can't even think of every single thing that we might do. We can't even think of every single thing that we are, every single thing that we like or dislike. Who we are is not really found in the thoughts that we have. And I think sometimes our insistence on holding on
6:10 to specific thoughts about who we are limits our ability to find new things within our experience. [music] I think some of us are sort of scared that if we don't think about who we are, we won't know. But who we are is always a known so long as we're present and within the unknown. The only way we ever get to know something is if we at first accept that we don't. The only way we move forward is if we at first accept that where we are or maybe that we're stuck. It's always about our ability to accept something that allows something else to take root, to take form. Because if we don't ever accept that change is necessary, change won't happen. Nothing changes if nothing changes. And the first thing that needs to change is our whole entire mentality about our stuckness and our capability.
6:58 I think sometimes we're comfortable not because it feels comfortable, but because part of us is apprehensive about confronting our idea, our ego is apprehensive about it. I think part of us doesn't want to lose the parts that we know. So, instead of actually moving past our vices, maybe moving past our cycles, we perpetuate them because that is where we're known. That's where we're comfortable. That's where we can call ourselves what we are. But in the same way, us being able to call ourselves what we are is what makes some things, in my opinion, in a lot of way chronic. It's because we think we're stuck that we can actually apply labels to
7:43 ourselves. And that's the reason they stick. Because if we were to truly accept ourselves as something that was always changing, always has the potential or capability to change, then any label we place on ourselves will be as [music] temporary as we are unwilling to change. And the second we actually accept that that change is possible for us, the second we actually get into our own headspace about the things that we want to do for ourselves, we'll actually see it done rather than think about its doability. Is doability even a word? Anyways, it's always about us, you know? And I know I talk about stuff like that a lot in our videos. And I when I say stuff like that, I really don't mean it in a
8:28 narcissistic way. I think, at least in my own experience, cuz I used to be quite the over-thinker, quite the internal observer, that when I actually started to give myself attention, [music] when I started to give myself audience and stop the performance, it's the second I actually got to realize that the whole world is a stage, and we get to actually observe so much more other than ourselves. It was through my ability to shed light on myself that I was actually able to see the way in which other things were illuminated. I think sometimes when we act as if we don't shed light on anything, we only act as if things shed light on us. And then in a lot of ways we treat it as if we are only [music] present when
9:15 other things are aware of our own being. And that's a bad way to go about it. You know, I think it's when we are very much with ourselves, maybe even in our solitude, cuz I've been spending some some more time alone than I than I have usually. Like, this is my first time having my own space, truly. And it's sort of been a run. It's been a It's been an interesting this business this man because it's it's I would just say it's it's honestly just different. You know, there's nothing there to interrupt your ongoing conversation you have in your head. But that doesn't have to be a negative thing. It can just be a thing, but to me it's positive. Because the more you honestly sit with
10:02 the things that you try to run from, the less you want to run from them. Because you realize that the thing that you're running from a lot of times is you. It's your own opinions about yourself, your own thoughts about your your your solitude, your own thoughts about your perpetuation of the cycles that you're in. All that we often experience is the thoughts that we have about it. So to me, at least in my experience, it's about what we can do for ourselves. It's about the things that we actually give ourselves that make anything in the world worth receiving. Because if we never convince ourselves, I won't even say convince, if we never admit to ourselves our own value,
10:49 then everything that we receive that is valuable, we will call it our value. And in that way, the second we lose it or the second we have the mind enough to recognize that that something isn't us, we'll continue to seek everything else out other than us. And [snorts] I don't mean that to say we can't enjoy the material this world. We live in a material world, guys. Get what you get, don't have a fit. If you want something, you can have it. As long as you have yourself. Because it's not really about what you possess, but how much of yourself is within your possession. I think a lot of us lose ourselves in what we have because we never really admit to
11:34 ourselves that who we are is a possession we need to take care of. And I don't mean that to say that who we are is we're just some object. I don't mean that at all. But in a lot of ways, the only thing that we truly do possess is us cuz we're the only things we actually have control over. We're the only things we actually have. What I mean by that is we don't hold on to ourselves. We might act like we hold on to certain narratives of ourselves or certain ideas. Well, you never really need to hold on to who you are. You know, we act as if we hold on to ourselves as if we're in our heads like, "Okay, be me, be me, be me, be me." You never like that. You might just be trying to be present. You might just be trying to overcome something that you're calling yourself. We do hold on to negative ideas
12:20 sometimes. But who we are is always more easily expressed than it is thought. And who we are is not always going to be found in what we think but what we do. Because what we think is not always going to be the exact catalyst to all of our action. Sometimes we might think things contrary to the things that we actually do. And that's what I mean by we're we're suppressing the parts of ourselves that seek out change cuz many times people recognize exactly what they need to change. And I think >> [music] >> part of you already knows exactly what you need to get to where you want to go. Part of me always recognized that there's always a part of me that knew exactly what I needed to do in order to get past the last hurdle, in order to get over the last hump.
13:06 But it's always about our insistence on being who we are or maybe our inability to admit to ourselves that our change is actually possible. At least as possible as we think. The second we change our expectations is the second we change our reality, truly. Because what we expect out of ourselves we often do. You know, I was talking about low expectations for the self, low standards even. The second we start believing in our low standards and low capabilities, the second we start exhibiting those things. When we don't give ourselves enough to get, give ourselves enough foundation where we are, give ourselves enough capability within who we are. We often lose all that we can do. So, all of this is really just to say that a lot of things are possible if you
13:52 believe that you can. Our change is always possible so long as we actually accept ourselves where we are. I think if we never take a present perspective that we can never really have present intention. In a lot of ways we can never have present growth because growth is always a present thing because everything is always a present thing. You know, we think about the past, but that was a once a present. And we have to learn how to, instead [music] of trying to repaint the past, learn how to paint the present in a way that actually accommodates us more fervently. So, if you made it this far in the video, thank you very much. I appreciate each and every one of you and I hope you guys are taking care of yourself, doing what you can with what you have. There's always a lot on the way, truly, but there's always a lot already here.
14:37 So, keep it y'all, keep it great. Take care of yourself. profoundpondering.com if you want a book, they're still available. They'll always be available for you.
