Why She NEVER Comes Back After a Breakup

0:00 If you're sitting there searching for answers after a cold, sudden breakup, if she left you blindsided, then this is the video for you. And I understand firsthand what it feels like. My last relationship that I was in, I went through this personally, right? And I've learned valuable lessons. And even though I've made videos in the past of why she does come back after a breakup, it's important to understand why she doesn't come back after a breakup. And you'll understand exactly why. And this is going to give you the closure and the ability to move forward because what you're going through right now is a form of trauma. Okay? And it's quite traumatic for let's say anyone to go through a breakup where it's cold, sudden, you know, it was unexpected. It

0:45 was out of the blue. The person maybe blocked you. The person completely withdrew from your life. You know, one minute things were great, the next minute things weren't and she disappeared. And this is a form of trauma. you need to understand, you know, or come to terms with why she isn't coming back into your life. And I'm going to outline exactly the lessons that I've personally learned so this can really help you move forward. So, let's get straight into today's video. Now, the first reason to why she isn't coming back after a breakup is because she lacks the relationship skills to navigate realworld reality. Now, what I mean by that is this, right? Think about when you're at the start of that relationship. Let's call it the high dopamine honeymoon phase. Everything was light. Everything was easy. You know, you had a lot of novelty at the start of

1:32 that relationship. But you got to understand, and you'll be able to relate that that honeymoon period will end, right? Sometimes it ends in 3 months, sometimes 6 months, maybe even a year. But for the most part, that honeymoon period is going to come to an end. And that's when you actually get to see the other person's true colors. And as a man, that's why when we, you know, get into dating and get into relationships, we want to be our true authentic self. So when that honeymoon stage ends, therefore, there's no unexpected surprises that a woman has to also experience from her end. Right? So, but for the context of this video, when you navigated or when you went through, let's say, real world stress in that relationship, when you guys had some sort of arguments, conflict,

2:19 disagreements, when things maybe spiraled out of control, you have to understand that it requires the relationship skills to navigate those storms. Right? So once that fantasy ended or once that honeymoon stage ended, her lack of conflict resolution skills caused her to panic and shut down and withdraw, right? Instead of communicating effectively, instead of sitting down and repairing and trying to rebuild from that point, you know, you might have had the the talks with her, right? Let's sit down. Let's have a talk. Let's try and move forward from this. But you'd find that she would just panic. She would shut down. She would just withdraw. or she wouldn't take accountability. And that is someone who is a conflict avoidant. Okay? And that is a red flag. Someone

3:07 who is a conflict avoidant. Someone that is not able to communicate when things get messy in the relationship. Right? When we go through real life scenarios, when it's not the honeymoon stage, you got to understand that you're not able to move forward with someone like this. Right? At the end of the day, they start panicking, right? You want to repair. You want to rebuild. Maybe you're getting anxious. There were times where I also got anxious because I'm someone that likes to repair, rebuild, and move forward, right? I like to sit down and I would always take accountability and take responsibility for maybe my reactions or the way I handled things, but at the end of the day, I was always there to take accountability and move forward. And you might have been in the same position yourself, right? But you found that the other person, she would

3:55 withdraw. She wouldn't take accountability. She didn't want to talk about it. Right? This is a conflict avoidant. This is literally a red flag. Okay? And giving you advice for your next relationship. You got to understand that you're not going to be able to just trust what a woman says, right? A woman might say, you know, I like to repair. I like to rebuild. I like to communicate effectively. You know, communication is very important for me. At the end of the day, you're not going to know if she has the relationship skills to navigate those problems until you actually get into that issue itself, right? You have to go through it and then you'll be able to see how does this person show up when we're going through this sort of conflict, right? So, conflict avoidant is a red flag. And this is something

4:42 that I also had to learn the hard way. And you know, us men, we sometimes hang on to hope and we give, you know, the person that we love the benefit of the doubt and we think that maybe, you know, they'll they'll maybe develop these skills or they'll maybe get better at communicating, right? But at the end of the day, you need to accept someone based on who they are at that current time, not in in the future, right? At the end of the day, you need to accept them for who they are. So, if they don't have the skills today, let's say hypothetically, you met someone and they don't have the skills, okay? that essentially is time for you to pay attention and walk away. That's a red flag because there's no way that you can, you know, hang on to that hope and, you know, hope she starts building the right relationship skills or the having the effective communication skills or

5:28 building the resilience, right? Or building the emotional intelligence. Like these are things that you can't, you know, us men, we can't, you know, we can't expect a woman to learn these skills by being in a relationship with us. Okay? So you need to make sure that when your next relationship, this is a valuable lesson that she has the relationship skills in order to navigate the relationship when things are not going great. Right? Because let me tell you something, okay? And this is going back over 17 years worth of experience that I'm sharing with you. At the end of the day, you can't trust what someone says. Okay? Now, for a relationship to work, when things are easy, everyone's good, right? When the relationship starts to go through turmoil, that's where you see the person's true colors. That's where you see their relationship capacity. That's where you see their

6:14 relationship skills. So, if she was more than likely a conflict avoidant, right, this is something that's really stressing her out, right? At the end of the date, her nervous system is triggered and she isn't able to resolve, you know, any issues that come to surface in the relationship. So you need to understand that that comes down to, you know, you might have had great chemistry in that relationship, but that's an incompatibility, right? It isn't just about someone just having values, having, you know, someone might have the right values, but at the end of the day, it's about whether two people have the skills to sustain a relationship when things get heavy. Okay, this is what's going to help you

7:00 maintain a relationship long term. Do two people have the right skills? And if she left you and she went cold, right, this is essentially someone that's withdrawn. This is someone that's a conflict avoidant. And you don't want to be in a relationship with someone like this because you're never going to able you're never going to have a healthy relationship. Okay? Whenever something comes up because life will test you, she's not going to be able to handle it. Okay? And this relationship was probably too much for her at the end of the day cuz she didn't have the relationship skills to handle when things got a bit messy, when things got a bit heavy. Okay? So, I don't want you as a man to blame yourself, right? Because us men, yes, we can blame ourselves. It's normal to, you know, experience self-lame after a breakup, but you have to also

7:46 understand that, you know, she doesn't have the skills to navigate things, right? like when things get difficult, she isn't compatible with you, right? You might had great chemistry, g great intimacy, right? And I had those things, but when it came to real life stress, my exartner wasn't equipped with the right skills to navigate those problems. So, it's sort of it's very frustrating, okay? And it's it's very hard to move forward with someone like that. And at the end of the day, this is why she's more than likely not going to come back into your life after this breakup. It's because she doesn't have the relationship skills to handle the real world reality. Okay? And she'll probably come to terms within herself going, "You know what? I just I just can't be in a

8:31 relationship with this person. It's too much." You know, and at the end of the day, maybe she needs something light, easy. Maybe she needs time, years to develop the skills to self-reflect, right, before maybe she gets in her next relationship. I don't know. That's not your problem anymore. And and I hate to break it to you, but at the end of the day, she's no longer your responsibility. And you want to understand that, you know, this might be something that she'll never develop, right? She'll always more than likely then go through relationship to relationship and just always go through constant breakups. And this is why I want you to understand, right? She won't come back into your life because she just sees the relationship as too much. Maybe your growth, maybe your ability to navigate the relationship itself, like you having

9:18 the skills to communicate effectively, to sit down with her to try and rebuild, right? Come to some sort of middle ground. Maybe that's just too much, right? Sometimes women will look at a man and go, you know what? I just can't keep up with him. He's just he deserves someone better. Right? And she won't come back into your life maybe for that reason. But that's something I want you to pay attention to. And that's point number one. Now, the second reason why she isn't coming back into your life after a breakup is because of the discomfort of growth. Now, I want you to pay attention, right? Any sort of unhealed patterns, any sort of, let's say, childhood experiences, past experiences, maybe trauma from a breakup, right? Let's say that she's an avoidant type of person. This is essentially going to trigger a flight

10:06 response within her nervous system, right? So when relationships demand real vulnerability, this is where cracks. Okay? And to her coming back or getting back into a relationship with you is essentially her having to face the uncomfortable, right? Her taking accountability, her looking at herself in the mirror and doing the uncomfortable emotional growth. >> [snorts] >> So for her, the easier thing to do instead of trying to, you know, grow and learn and maybe overcome some some sort of trauma that she's potentially experienced from the past, the easy thing for her to do is running run away from you, right? Basically running away,

10:51 maybe blocking you, just going completely MIA. You know, playing the victim is easy, right? Playing the victim and maybe pointing the finger at you is the easy thing for her to do, right? It gives her the ability not to focus on the growth that she needs to focus on, right? And basically, in order for her to step up into, let's say, healing and growth, that takes maturity, okay? That takes a certain level of maturity, which she doesn't have. Okay? And like I said to you, this is someone that you don't want to be in a relationship with because at the end of the day, when someone doesn't take accountability, when they're just trying to run away, when they block you, these are signs, right? This goes back to what I was saying in the previous point that

11:37 when you guys had, you know, any sort of conflict that came your way and then she essentially shut down and she withdraw and she didn't withdrew, sorry, and she didn't want to talk about it. This then leads to her finding the easy way out, right? So, breaking up with you, blocking you maybe, you know, going completely cold. This is easy for her because this doesn't require her to step up to healing, to doing the inner work, to focus on becoming better, to focus on, you know, getting the help that she needs because yes, that's uncomfortable. But look, at the end of the day, she's just going to always crumble whenever a relationship goes through some sort of conflict or some sort of turmoil. Okay? There's no such thing as a relationship that's completely conflictfree. Okay? There's no such thing. There's always

12:24 going to be stresses that are going to come into life, right? Think about it. Imagine you had children with this person. Maybe you imagine you married this person and essentially she, you know, withdrew from, you know, whatever problems you were going through, right? It just got too much for her. Would you really want to be in that position? Right? And maybe you are in this position where you've had children with her and she's withdrew withdrawn from you and she's, you know, left you maybe for another guy or whatever the case may be, right? I'm sorry to hear that, but at the end of the day, you got to understand that her walking out of your life is a good thing because you can't be in a healthy relationship with this person. But going back to what I was saying [snorts] it's much easier for her not to do the

13:10 self-reflection. It's much easier for her to just point the finger at you and you know have an easy copout, right? An easy way of saying, you know what, it's this relationship was just too hard. You know, he was just too much or he was like this, right? But at the end of the day, there's always valuable lessons we can take from every relationship, right? And that's what I'm trying to tell you. Don't let your ego get in the way, okay? There's always lessons that we can learn. No one's perfect in relationships. We all make mistakes. It's human, right? We're all human. Sorry. But at the end of the day, when it comes to the context of what I'm sharing in today's video, her doing the work is just too much. It's just easy for her to just walk away. And it's literally a coward act, right, at the end of the day. Someone to

13:56 just block you and just leave you and just, you know, go completely distant, you know, from you. you know, one minute you guys were great or one minute you guys were maybe, you know, experiencing the highs of the relationship and then the next minute, you know, conflict maybe came up, she didn't communicate, she bottled things up and then she withdrew and she was like, I can't do this anymore and then she left, right, abruptly. So, look, someone like this until they actually do the work, they're not going to come back because getting back with you means she has to do the work and she's not willing to do that, right? So this is personally what I experienced myself and you know at the end of the day I'm grateful that my breakup happened because if it didn't happen me personally if I had children with this person if I got married with this person

14:41 you know I wouldn't be able to trust that she wouldn't leave right because when things get difficult when things when we go through you know conflict in relationships I can't I don't know if she's going to be there at the end of it she might pack her bags and leave and you know I don't want to be in a relationship with someone that's there for just the good times, right? I want to be with someone that's there with me fighting through the storms, right? And again, they need to have done the inner work. They need to have the relationship skills in order to navigate the storms. So, this is something that I want you to pay attention to, but this is more than likely why she isn't coming back. Now, the third and final reason to why she isn't coming back into your life after the breakup is because she mentally detached before the breakup happened. Now, for you, this might have been very sudden, right? It was unexpected. It was

15:28 out of the blue. Maybe she blocked you, right? And this is a massive shock to your nervous system. So, as soon as you hear the news, whether it's through text, whether it's through a phone call, whether it's in person, whatever the case may be, for the most part, you're dealing with this trauma or this shock on day one, right? But she has silently checked out weeks or months later, right? She essentially came to terms earlier that this relationship was too much, right? and she didn't want to be part of it. And you know, this is why it can really hurt, you know, us men when we go through things like this. This is exactly what I went through myself. This is a form of, you know, unresolved trauma because you don't really get the closure or you don't really get the invitation into the decision of,

16:14 you know, that person. That person essentially has made their mind up. They haven't involved or included you in the decision-m process, right? because at the end of the day, you're a relationship, you're a team. And she decided to silently check out because that's easier for her, right? At the end of the day, she's not a malice or bad person, but it's just her coping mechanism skills, right? At the end of the day. And now you're left with this emotional trauma that you need to now focus on because it's a very it's very hurtful to be in a position like this, right? Where it's just completely unexpected where she just left you. But again, you know, this is why I want you to take time, you know, being single, take time being in solitude as a man, so you can reflect, so you can come to

17:01 terms with things, so you can heal, you can process the grief, and you can learn valuable lessons and you'll come out stronger at the end of this, right? Because therefore, when you get in your next relationship and you focus on your personal growth and your healing journey and you don't get yourself in other relationships, the next relationship you get in, you know, these are the lessons you've learned, right? you you know you want to be now in a relationship with someone that doesn't just say you know they want this this and that and you just trust them right at the end of the day you're going to see do their actions line up do they have the right relationship skills do they have the relationship capacity to make a relationship work long term right because as I said earlier any any relationship is fun and easy and light you know and highly dopamine stimulated when you're going through that honeymoon phase but when you pass that honeymoon phase right which you will that's where

17:47 you'll will see the person's true colors and at the end of the day, is it worth you, you know, you don't want to be inviting the wrong type of woman into your life, right? So, you know, as much as this is very painful for you, you know, I don't want you to feel like you're alone because, you know, if you feel like you're alone, you need to really reach out. You need to reach out to someone. If you want to reach out to me and you need help with what you're going through right now and you want to overcome this, okay, and you want to heal, you want to process the grief, you want to rebuild your identity, you feel like you lost yourself from this relationship and you're in a dark place, right? And you want to focus on recovering and, you know, getting to a position where you can start to move forward and see that light at the end of

18:32 the tunnel. I can help you get there, right? because I've been through it myself as I've shared with you my own personal experience. I also help men recover from breakups, right? These are, you know, I've been through painful breakups throughout, you know, pretty much my whole life. And that's why I'm very big on, you know, self-reflection and growing and healing and processing the grief, you know. So, these are areas that I can help you with if you need that help. My links are in the description below and we'll see if we can work together or not, right? But at the end of the day, this is the time where you need to come to terms with things, right? And understand that, you know, hanging on to that hope, there's no point. Okay? Sometimes girls do come

19:18 back after a breakup, right? But, you know, gone by past experience, like I've had women that have broken up with me and then after, you know, 6 to 12 months, they come back into my life and I don't want to be in a relationship with them anymore because I'm no longer the same version of myself. I focused on rebuilding myself as a man. I focused on increasing my value as a man. I focused on learning valuable lessons from that breakup. And I didn't want to go back to the whole reason why the relationship didn't work out in the first place. If it's if if she's broken up with you and she's left, that's a sign, right? That's a sign that she didn't, you know, want to be in the relationship with you, maybe it was too hard for her at the end of the day. You need to also understand that she isn't going to come back. Okay? Because you're going to otherwise hang on to that hope. You might even start to

20:04 do the work and focus on, you know, improving just to, you know, maybe get her back, right? I know how messed up the the mind works, you know, when we go through breakups, but at the end of the day, you need to understand that this is happening to you for a reason. And you know, when someone walks out of your life, they're going to walk out again, right? There's what what would stop them from walking out again, right? So, at the end of the day, understand she's not going to come back into your life now. It's all about you. Yes, it hurts, but we got to rip that band-aid off and we got to face reality and we got to improve. Take responsibility. And I'm telling you, you're going to get into a better relationship. Your next relationship, you're going to be more wiser, right? You're going to learn. You're going to have wisdom, okay? Because, you know, wisdom comes from learning from past mistakes, like past

20:49 experiences, you know, improving. This is where you gain the wisdom and you don't make the same mistakes again, right? So, it's all about just learning. I'm sharing all these things with you because I don't want you to learn the hard way, get another relationship, and then you find yourself back at square one. Okay? that's the mistakes or those are the mistakes that I made, you know, throughout my 20s, you know, I wouldn't do the work on myself and, you know, I'd find myself just getting into another relationship because it was easier, right? In focus on the the growth side of things. But for the context of this video, understand that, you know, these are the reasons why she's not going to come back into your life after this breakup, okay? And it's not because she's a malice or mean person. is just she just lacks

21:34 those relationship skills. Okay, she just lacks the ability to focus on personal growth. Maybe this is something that you know she'll improve in the future, but again you know it's not your responsibility whether she changes or not, right? You're not able to change her and you know don't make the mistake because us men are solutionorientated. We think that oh maybe if she got that help, maybe if she saw a therapist, maybe if she did this, you know, we can improve. Maybe if she went to relationship counseling, things would improve. But at the end of the day, you got to understand that someone or when you get yourself into your next relationship, you want to make sure that that person already comes equipped with the relationship skills, okay? This is not something that they you need to teach them or they should be learning, you know, whilst being in a relationship with you. That's the biggest lesson that I want to pass to you is, you know, get

22:22 when you get in your next relationship, you want to make sure that this person is ready to go. That way, you have a strong core foundation and you can build from there and you can eliminate going through another breakup. You can reduce the chance of going through another breakup because you're going to be focusing more on compatibility, not chemistry, right? But again, if this didn't happen to you, you wouldn't have known, right? So, we all go through experiences like this in life, right? But at the end of the day, there's always lessons that we can learn. So I wish you the best on your recovery, on your journey. Just understand, you know, if I can do it, you can do it as well. Right? So this is just a temporary roadblock that you're going through, a form of adversity. But I'm telling you, when you get past this, you're going to become an even stronger man. You're going to become a better man, and you'll

23:08 therefore attract a better woman in your next relationship. So look, ending it here. I hope you have a blessed and beautiful day. If you're new to my channel, hit the subscribe button if you like me making this sort of content. Uh if you want to drop your comments down below, share your comments below. You know, be as vulnerable as you can because this is going to be a space where men can just share what they're going through. And if you like the video, give it a like. It always helps the algorithm, you know, being a smaller channel. I love your help if you can help out. And yeah, I'll see you in the next video. Peace out.