0:00 tomorrow so I can respond absolutely I can assertive I have my opinion at the same time on a platform like this giving dad while you're a woman you know your voice is out most of the scholars they say the woman voice is foreign can we have it all we live in a society that breeds ingratitude and discontentment where the ideal is always somehow unattainable where our vision of life is romanticized and nothing seems
0:47 to be enough there's always one person with the healthier body the higher paying job the bigger house and the flashier cup besides all this is our duty to Allah as his servants so how do we juggle all of this we sat down with Dr sheikha heifer Eunice a world-renowned international speaker certified gynecologist and the founder of Jannah Institute to unpack the question can women have it all stay tuned to find out [Music] how are you such an honor for us to have you here
1:34 it's a pleasure being here how has Sydney been so far I haven't seen much yet because I just arrived last night but I know it's one of the most beautiful cities in the world so I'm looking forward it's like an opportunity to see all the Nationals and meet all the sisters and all the programs that we have set up alhamdulillah does it rival California in any way uh Australia has a lot of uh in common with California purse actually has it's reminded me a lot beaches of course again Sydney I can't tell yet um Brisbane Gold Coast reminds you of California anything that has ocean beaches reminds you of California mild weather in general reminds you of California so inshallah one day you'll come and visit can't wait can't wait
2:21 alhamdulillah we're very excited to start this conversation today and we've got a lot to unpack so we want to dive right into it a lot of the questions on the viewers minds I think one that comes to mind right now is how does Dr all the different hats that you wear do you ever feel that there are so many different roles you have to balance Welcome to My Life um definitely sometimes you know like in the morning you're a hotter physician and then you hat off the executive director of Jr the new heart of a teacher then you're a hat offered a student of knowledge then you have the heart of students of Quran and then you have the height the Hat of a family and all of us actually it's not only me is everybody Allah created on this Earth
3:07 he has given them more than one hat the first hat we all have and we all share is your human being and number two hearts before getting even to gender and age and the second half we have is our we are his servants so if everybody change the concept of me what hat I am to a one hat only this is how I actually back to your question my main hat is on the servant of Allah so if he puts me in the morning let's say as a physician in seeing a patient well I'm a servant of Allah so how I'm gonna be the servant of Allah under this hat so I do whatever I need to do but the focus is him then let's say I am having
3:53 a meeting with the Jannah Institute style I'm still a servant of Allah how I'm gonna serve him then let's say I'm having a class teaching again a servant and as the day goes on so the same thing because this is very common question I think this is the most common question I get from women is how do you how do I or them do it all how I feel I am overwhelmed or I feel I can't I mean so the the thing is there's a statement to the Imam secondary and if everybody learned this one the life would be very different he said in Arabic stand up where Allah wants you to stand
4:38 up or stand up where Allah made you stand up it's a very deep statement so when Allah puts you as a mother because this is how it is woman I'm a mother I'm a wife I'm a daughter I'm a full-time employee right and I am a woman I want to take care of myself and I I want to please Allah and I want to study and then you the moment you start counting you get overwhelmed you didn't even start anything sorry forget the numbers so in this moment this day this year where did he put you number one for example if you are pregnant so you're pregnant meaning you're a servant of Allah in the pregnant state so I'm not gonna expect I am gonna do
5:25 what I if I'm not pregnant I'm gonna do because there's a limited ability in me but that doesn't mean I am not a servant of Allah or I am not pleasing him the way he wants so apply this on everything because what happens is let's say a woman deliver a baby and she decided she doesn't want to work anymore how do we look at her oh you stayed home why you know what I'm saying and then she starts feeling guilty now she wants to go out and work again I'm not talking about people who need to work I'm talking about people their choices we don't need to make we don't need to make others feel or we feel less in where Allah put us because I am serving him so if Allah puts me
6:12 again if I'm in the kitchen cooking preparing meal for dinner that doesn't mean I am less than when I'm seeing a patient in my office could you be Allah knows I am more pleasing to Allah in that kitchen preparing my the meal for my children and especially if I don't like it any my my joy is not in in cooking and people are different but I'm doing it because that's what he wants me to do rest assured your reward from Allah is way more what I will say more but at least not less than when I am seeing a patient in the office because he puts me at that moment as a mother and he wants me to serve my family but when I am in the office I am a servant
6:58 of Allah so the first thing is where where is where did he put you not only in the day I mean not only in the year or in the months in the day itself for example when let's say again you came from work you're a working woman you came back from work in when you enter the house now the shift moves from being a servant of Allah at work to a servant of Allah inside the house and that's how it is but what we want to do and do it all yeah and when we want to do it all according to what we think is more important Allah will say okay go and do it and then we feel overwhelmed so and again one and second which is extremely important especially for a woman is priority you prioritize at this
7:47 moment what is number one I have to do yeah right meaning if the child is crying screaming I'm in my Salah obligation Sada what does Islam tell me if you have an access to the child pick up the child right if you don't have an access to the child stop your Salah and go and take care of your child now this is Salah but what Allah is teaching me Priority I don't feel sad why do I have a child why is he crying no because when you stopped your Sada when to make sure your child is not because when the child Cry he's in either pain in for a reason yes then I made I took care of that child I am a servant of Allah I served him in the way he wanted me not I want I want to continue but he doesn't
8:34 want me he made the child cry if you see this change the way of thinking priority and always the focus is not me and or people the focus is on Allah and becomes easier I hope this makes sense including I'm sorry but this is very important especially for a woman including taking care of yourself because if I don't take care of myself I'm gonna get burned out and I'm gonna say you know what I can't do this and what we see in these days so when I take 30 minutes at one hour a day a lot of women feel guilty don't feel guilty you're taking care of yourself replenish yourself rest so I can continue the journey
9:20 and our bodies and our souls have rights Upon Us absolutely it's fine Allah that's very profound especially when we realize that Allah created us for the sole purpose of worshiping him and a lot of us actually fall under that you know lack of self-care because we're prioritizing everyone else besides our soul so one other question that came to mind is the test of Fame how do we navigate you know doing our actions sincerely if we're in the Public's fee and really battling that fitner of Fame sometimes just before I get to this question because you said the beautiful word Allah created us for to worship him this needs to be clarified because when you ask people what is this I mean you quoted the verse from the Quran mashallah
10:05 I did not create incision but to worship me so what is worship because that's how you translate what is worship when I ask any and I always do this in all the lectures some of the some of the people who are listening I was like yeah I know the answer alhamdulillah because we think you know worship is I'm gonna pray I'm gonna fast I'm gonna go to Hajj I'm gonna pay my zakat the usual no not only those those are absolute but this is not only it because I know who's going to take care of this earth right if I didn't create them but to do worship in that meaning then all of us are a toner in the masajid taking care of it's actually I defined it beautifully is act of worship is everything
10:51 everything Allah loves and pleased with sayings and actions external and internal so you somebody comes in and says right I responded and I said it is a good deed I am going to get the benefit but that's an act of worship okay that's something Allah loves pleased with external and it's a saying so if you look at that also a lot of the things that we feel I'm doing it but I know I have to do it but that's not an act of worship it is an act of worship it's a mindset thing you just have it it's just your mindset it's a mindset for sure but also it is learning and education the more you learn the more
11:38 you know and the more you put the priority not what people think you should you say what Allah wants and your your question was so about the fitness of Fame some people who are in the public sphere you know doing dawah how did they never get that I'll tell you what it's the it's not only in the Public's speech any time Allah gives you an Irma definitely when you're in the public eye it is way more but even if you are let's say you got the prize for the best teacher how do you say to yourself I taught for the sake of Allah and I in general because that's a whole lecture called sincerity but let's give you the bottom line as we say
12:23 if I am or let's say it this way and also includes any action in the house so you said you're cooking and you said I'm cooking because I'm taking care of my family and that's what Allah wanted me to do and I am act of worship then Allah is going to say really this is for me yes yes so anytime we do something pleasing to Allah external internal and the intention is for Allah if I don't get the praise and I get upset then revisit your knee or if I get people who will criticize me and I get upset then I need to revisit revisit my knee I take the criticism very well because you know what I say
13:10 Allah send them to show me something I didn't see it maybe that was not my intention or that I didn't pay it but I don't get upset because if you get upset when someone come and tell you your shortcomings revisit your knee and also ego comes there anytime someone tells you you're wrong and a lot of people say that yeah I get upset then I need to really work on my ego so in the public eye it's more obvious but it is actually in everyday action but in public eyes are because now you people know you people you don't want to take pictures with you and all this you keep reminding yourself in and out literally in and out before the lecture after a lecture before a interview after
13:57 the interview you say to Allah Ya Allah it's only for you I say this to myself and to everyone who's in the public eye the moment it gets to your heart get upset when someone says something you need to take a break because now it is it is seeping gradually it's coming to your heart and Allah out of his generosity we send you an indication um so take a break and pull back it's like a wake-up call it's a wake-up call absolutely look and says why did you get upset why it could be true right and if it is not a true you know what alhamdulillah it is not to me yes that's it done and if it's true okay great you
14:46 send me a warning let me go and work on myself but if I get upset let alone I speak up let alone I make something public then I have a huge ego came in because of the fame and the you know the wealth and the money and again anything in life that is well there's a lot of Nema we don't know it's a name a lot of the blessings but something that people think it's a blessing like in that in that category absolutely span Allah actually reminds me of those Scholars how they say you know one of the biggest things even they grapple with is adjusting their near so that it is pleasing to Allah you keep reminding Allah one of the duas I always say is
15:34 for you what you guys for your generous face it's a literal translation but meaning it's only for you and he will test you I'm going to test you with this absolutely anything you claim not you anything I claim with Allah you will get tested sometimes on the spot literally you didn't even finish the word and the test comes in and the lucky the blessed one is the one who knows he or she no it's a test accept it look into it learn from it and change and I think to develop sincerity you need knowledge and you need awareness um and this is what my second question was about in terms of can you tell us a little bit about gender Institute and what inspired you
16:20 to inspire Institute is actually a woman to woman Institute where we two things we do we teach General women of course but not students of knowledge meaning the goal is not to graduate as Scholars female residents teachers or professors in University no our goal is to reach out to the mass I want every woman every mother in her home to learn her Deen to know her Dean properly actually we started the year of knowledge two years ago September will be the third year and the motto of it is what every Muslim woman should know or should learn but not learn here and in theory I know you know I memorize the Quran I memorize
17:05 blessing but what did it do to you do I see it in your actions do I see it in your interaction with people do I see it in your relationship with Allah so what's inspired me actually when I was studying in Jeddah because I studied in a woman only Institute and it was fascinating yes because I have not had this experience before I had it in medicine but I haven't had it in Sharia in Islamic Studies and it was a completely different experience it's especially when the woman teachers are as qualified as the men but they bring things from different perspectives they understand us more let's put it this way and I actually remember it was a class of artida and I was sitting there two thousand I think 10 or end of
17:51 2009 and I said Ya Allah how many women can do what I did I mean I was able to you know pack and move and a lot of women can do that right but that doesn't mean they shouldn't study so I said yeah Allah exactly what what I am sitting I was in the class I said yeah Allah just like you gave it to me I want something like that in America and the United States I had no idea how I'm going to do it I didn't go to study to teach or to have an Institute at all I want to study because I love it I wanted to memorize the Quran because I said I memorized all the books of medicine we usually do that right then I need to memorize the book of Allah why not I mean this is words of a human being why not the words of Allah
18:38 but then this is how it is when Allah look at you inside you and your near was not fame and and well known and doing this and doing that he starts using you and he starts using you in a way you did not plan it I didn't plan it at all right and even actually I didn't plan to be public at all absolutely because I was worried about many things but then once the social media time came in you know especially just before the covid yeah and you know how the kovid the social media exploded because everybody was home I just said you know what there is a lot of things on social media that we all complain about right anything Allah gives us it can be very
19:24 beneficial and the opposite yes and then I need to balance this and subhanallah is somebody who convinced me may Allah give him General and um I said fine and subhanallah is less than three years honestly I was like really this is how it is but this is how it is so when you for Jannah Institute when I started the year of knowledge I didn't know when we had the first planning meeting the team asked me how many students you think they will join I said I have no idea you know it is an online program you don't know and I said I quoted that he said Allah Guides Through you one person
20:09 way better than you have you know the whole herd of that's camel and I said if I have one student who is starting and subhanallah now we have a weight long waiting list this third year we are all completely filled out and we saw it was supposed to be one year only we started second year only for the like you finish the first year with all the requirements and you can move on to the second year and now subhanallah again just leave it to him that's why I keep telling people leave it to him have the pure intention you really want to serve him be the servant of Allah he'll bring it to you so now a lot of the woman feedbacks we are getting we have students including from Australia the biggest problem is what is the difference of time right and then it is an 11 hours of Life teaching I teach so
20:55 some women really can't to attend and they some people might in a one year it's it's really condensed for them so okay so we just started we launched last week we called it year of knowledge self-paced okay we have the recordings we actually did a lot of work on the recordings and then you go and you sign and you study according to what you want yeah every week we release a new um contents you finish it in a year as it is you want to finish it in three or four years you know there is a expected exams assignments I'll meet with them every now and then but this is not a requirement like the year of knowledge so this is what general Institute does one part and then I do also like here I come internationally do tours and you
21:40 will be surprised if anything Allah taught to me in this choice because I was in Malaysia or beginning of June then I went to Europe end of June and now this is Australia is how many women all over the globe from different backgrounds they are so thirsty so I said don't blame it the people are not interested will they all do respect the person who say that Allah showed me it's not like I am thinking showed me I mean I was in Denmark I was in Amsterdam and everything we are teaching is not like you know something easy and how you connected with your life people are very hungry to learn yes they
22:25 really want to learn and they just want it to be related to their daily life so alhamdulillah and that's the goal of gender Institute so I do these tours I do weekend courses every two or three months then we are part of you know like we have next month inshallah in California huge conference with all the institutes in the United States Institute I okay Islamic Institute of knowledge and we have Institute and column we're all getting together you know giving a whole 12 hour um conference we're trying to do a lot to encourage women to learn don't say I can don't say I don't have an opportunity don't say nobody teaches me you know um a lot of
23:11 Clans yes and make it only for his sake the women out there have so much potential it's just we just have to reach out and I think we need to reorganize ourselves and our priorities and don't say you can do it yeah now inshallah I would say Allah will make it happen and I Allah I really want it and wait till he opened the opportunity don't say I want it today maybe he doesn't want it today maybe he want it tomorrow wait why and and he will subhanas the main concern
23:57 and what did he say Allah will gather all his Affairs meaning your focus you will not feel I have seven things to do to do I don't know what I'm gonna do now right right and then uh it's a three things the last one I'm remembering now life wealth money children every all definition of Dunya will come he doesn't want it she doesn't want it runs to it because I focus on the Africa and the opposite is so the person who focus on the three things will happen number one Allah will gather all his Affairs second Allah will
24:43 make him or her feel they are rich because feeling satisfied content you have everything it's internal it's not external and then life Dunya will come running to you and the opposite is true so powerful it's like you know we want that degree we want that Workforce you know everything is on our minds and you know you never are happy sometimes with your pursuit of everything but for example for women in the workplace and successfully pursuing a career how can they stay modest but also assert their personality in their careers there's there is no contradiction that's the first thing doesn't mean I'm weak and strong doesn't mean I am not modest
25:28 this is we need to redefine honestly and we need to make clear islamically what is Modesty right so if I am soft spoken does that mean I'm weak or if I am loud does that mean I'm strong on the contrary actually if you're loud um most people will say why she's shouting right or why he is shouting even for the same for both gender so basically what's what modesty is follow Allah period what did he say dress ABCD dress ABCD right and he said for example between man and a woman in the workplace you have a meeting leave the door open
26:13 yeah period right don't speak not softly only but in a way suggestive way then the person and this is true the wives of Russell so the person who has a sick heart will feel at the desire this can be anybody this could be me this could be any man this could be any person so I need to as a woman I need to put these boundaries the way I speak I speak soft I speak gentle affirm right and I always make sure I have this PRI I call it private space private space around me private space even in discussion professional even if there is
27:00 a time for a joke there's a time for a joke but even the joke is with Haya it's always is not a word to translate modesty bashfulness humbleness right and Iman Faith they're together if one is left the other will leave that's Hadith so I can be strong absolutely I can be assertive I have my opinion but at the same time I am a Muslim woman once you define this Muslim woman clearly in your dress code in your interaction I can tell you from my own experience people will respect you even more
27:46 absolutely and you will which I found it really easy there is a lot of things that you don't need to worry about because they're not gonna do it right they're not going to be this talk or that talk or um you know what I mean they may put their hand the first time because they didn't know and you're just gonna explain to him very easily please forgive me I can do it but right they're not going to be a physical contact they're not going to be let's go out you know the group and whatever all these things will be you'll be protected the fact that you are a woman a Muslim obvious conduct yourself as a Muslim woman and at the same time you're very professional you're very good in your work you pray but I'm not going to pray for hour and a half in the in work
28:32 five ten minutes in my break and you have to be the model Allah wants you to be especially a woman and that also applies to man I because what Allah tells me you know you respect the oath you respect the Covenant you respond and the way I speak I'm truthful oh she's Muslim she will never lie that's how it should be alhamdulillah you're thinking no it actually uh triggered a thought um I know the both of us now being online a lot of the brothers sometimes have that you know the area quoted and say you shouldn't be on a platform like this giving dawa you're a woman you know your voice is out well I'll tell you what we have to once we get to this now you're getting
29:18 to Africa discourse now the first discourse is a different opinion yeah most of the scholars they say the woman voice is not the hour because how can say period simple behind uh like because behind a curtain or a barrier right so the difference here is is between opinion and I'm gonna I'm not gonna say this brother is wrong although the aura voice is very and it's one of the weakest opinion but it some people say that right but in general we need to learn to respect each other right the Deen is wide right there is this and there is this as long as it is within the boundaries that
30:04 Allah put the woman who conduct herself online through online or in public by the boundaries of Allah that's also a different right if you do that then just be open and says you know what this is your opinion with all due respect I disagree this is my opinion as long as both opinion with the boundaries if any one of them whether mine or his or her is outside the boundary of sharia then I'm wrong and I have to say I'm wrong and I need to change 1 I think it's important for us to actually have in mind what those boundaries are especially when not even just to choosing in the workplace but when we're choosing a degree or when we're going to University where are we going what are we doing the boundaries
30:50 doesn't matter between a Muslim man the boundaries is the boundaries of Allah so whether I am in a university or I am in a Masjid right my interaction with the opposite gender is the same right my interaction with the place is different because that's a place of Allah my feelings my table my notification is different but when Allah put the boundaries and the the talk to the wife of Roswell it was not a Muslim or a non-muslim he left it open so I don't look at this as a Muslim and this is a non-muslim it's the same [Music]
31:37 it doesn't change it's like that identity never leaves you and we're so proud of it carrying it wherever we go may Allah reward Every Woman Muslim woman struggling to be a obvious Muslim woman let's put it this way yeah right because it is it is very easy I mean there is challenges comes with it may Allah reward and keep everybody strong and including men who also especially at workplace they have to stand up for their for their belief or what Allah want them to do yeah talking of challenges we talk about you know choosing the right degree choosing the right workplace employer um the question then comes what about choosing the right spouse and a question
32:22 that arises or that's arising in the modern day is is it okay for a girl to look for the one herself okay let's take it one by one tumblers you know the beauty of Islam Islam didn't leave anything without addressing it taught to me as a woman let's say as a mother let's say as a grandmother let's say as a daughter in relation to marriage and as parents right so for me as a woman or what he said he said if a man proposed that you are pleased with two things Dina religion his manners
33:08 the order is say yes these two if I put this as a priority meaning if these are not there the answer is no right away if these are there then you come to the less ones which is basically compatibility which a lot of that's fine and what did he say to the man about the woman the woman is usually sought after for marriage for four reasons Beauty wealth status and religion and then he gives the advice choose the woman of the day so here I am the most important thing is me as a woman back to the first thing we said I
33:53 am a servant of Allah so when I am at that moment making a decision about marriage or I'm involved in that decision don't forget you're a servant of Allah right that doesn't mean I'm not going to have feeding towards that person there's nothing wrong with that as long as the feelings pleasing to Allah and the feelings goes with the what Allah wants me to do so if I go like that and put the boundaries or I'm sorry put the um uh outline said it and absolutely fine looking for it alone we have to be very careful we always you know the beauty of Islam prevention it's not a dean of treatment treatment comes later and treatment
34:41 comes sometimes when people say wow yes this is tough well if you know what was before it then you will say the top for example and I always bring it mother and a child right the mother said to the child don't get close to the stove okay and she put all the boundaries including a gate including put to the stop like to turn off the start on the stop is very difficult you know all this output right and she kept telling him if you put your hand will get burned yeah if he did not follow all this and the Hand get burned at the end is that true she did her job
35:27 so here you go so for example Islam said the punishment of steeding is cutting the hand right this day and age but if you look back at all the social parameters and the social advices or orders Allah put for a Muslim Community it will be very difficult for someone to steal what happened to the zakah yeah what happened to the charity like at the time saying there was nobody to give zakah so of course nobody will steal so now come back to your question can I go and look for a spouse alone watch Islamic education you have what is your control over your own emotions remember emotions plays so you know am I
36:16 doing it Allah pleasing way meaning I'm involving other people in this especially if you're very young involve your appearance and involve your siblings because what this will keep me on track because once emotions get involved unless you're really wise it's very difficult to go against it I mean we are human we're all human but by the way this is both gender it's not only a woman yeah this is even a man yeah right so here I am looking for a spouse what is wrong with that I'm saying a proposal what nobody said this is Haram but what was the parameters how did it go how did she
37:02 come to know him so yes you can look and people always ask about also you know the marriage app and all these things can I have my friends and I said you know what as long as it is following hundred percent parameters of Allah then this will be like like a friend introduce you to a friend but you really have to be very careful and especially the online ones involve someone else with you because that someone else will see things maybe you don't see it and then you'll be protected and ask Allah the most important thing I didn't hear it in the question ask Allah and he was so old how many years he
37:48 didn't have childhood and he turned all along right immediately he responded to this about the blessings Allah gives you but in general anything you want and I think we Muslims need to go back to the basic anything you want ask Allah first you want to get married go to the sujood and cry to Allah says you Allah send me the right husband why do I have first to do it my way yeah and then if it didn't work then I'm gonna go into the Dua you are the only one who's gonna be able to send me the man the one that pleases you and be patient and Obey him mean I
38:34 mean I'm going to ask Alana I disobey him yeah yes he responds subhanah because he is nothing wrong with that whatsoever ask him the right way Show Me Guide Me protect me so if again something happens that shouldn't to be he'll protect your right away and maybe make it easy to everybody and I think also we as a Muslim Community we need to help each other because we live in a non-muslim and non-muslim society and then it's not like you're living everybody knows everyone and it's a little bit limited yeah and I think there is nothing wrong with Muslim committee helping each other in not only in profession but also in the social uh Realm having a strong community in this
39:20 sense is really really important and people thinking that you know what we need to start thinking how we're going to make the marriage for this younger generation easier a lot pleasing instead of letting them go and find yeah right we need to also as alhamdulillah it's a starting but not on a huge scale yet but you have you have like like in the community where I was before you get a couple of families that's what they do you know they arrange for um like a gathering Islamic Gathering they are there right for the people to meet each other and they require Islamic address and they you know all these Islamic boundaries and then they can meet um I mean it comes back to the whole idea of you know when is the right time for
40:06 certain people and the idea of taboo like in some cultures you find that oh women have an expiry age is this true oh you come now to the culture issue yeah this is one of things we really have all start separating there's a lot of good things in cultures really it's a joy right but also there's a lot of things in culture people think it's religion that's where the problem comes in and or the focus on the culture is more than the religion especially when the religion and culture contradict each other or clashes and then we go after the the culture the the age you know the
40:52 clock is ticking which is a word I really don't like to use it comes from medicine right simply because you know the fertility of the woman after a certain age become less my answer to my patients because I get this all the time how old do I say the Khadija when she starts getting pregnant in her 40s yeah and how many children six six children so here you go when Allah wants you to get pregnant what is he gonna say right best example yeah and we have it this is why I tell you Islam didn't leave anything didn't give us but we just don't pay attention sometimes no baby I
41:40 mean no husband nothing nothing she became pregnant right young he loved her the most no children so what we say is for men he absolutely advised Ali is young men get married early if you cannot then fast yeah why is that because look at around us the Temptations right and just to stay the way that pleases Allah is not easy so I need to help myself and I will say this also to the girls these days because a lot of Temptations around us social media you know media everything else so to try to get married early alhamdulillah but if you become 30
42:26 or 35 it's not the end of the world even if the society think it's the end of the world in fact now again Madison if you see it like in the office the average age of getting pregnant is not 20 or 25 no it is usually late 20s early 30s very common after 35 yeah so don't delay it you know I always tell people don't delay it and don't rush it leave it Allah will just make Dua and Allah will send you in the right time the right place but we again in the time and the day we're living wanna take things under control and who has the control alhamdulillah thinking now circles especially like this there's a bit of a race you know oh
43:11 she got married first she must be better than me I wonder what she has that I'm lacking so I think we need to really analyze the situation are we ready ourselves to become wives I wouldn't say this way I will say better people is not by the Dunya standard this is our problem we judge people by Dunya standard right so she has a PHD I have a college degree she's better than me who said that um who is it how I say to myself who has the who is the only one who has the right to judge who's better than other Allah the Creator what did he say
44:09 created you from a man and a woman major Nations and tribes so you know each other full stop this is why it is here because people think I'm better because I am this or I am that no it is the most acronym the most honorable and the sight of Allah is the one who have taqwa so if she or he got married before me that doesn't mean they are bad or they are better this is a decree Allah have allowed it now if you become if I become a teacher and you become a doctor you're not better than me or I am better than you it's how Allah divided it yeah and if I believe Allah is and we all do Allah is just that's just
44:54 yeah I just have to I think all what you are we have been talking since the beginning I think the issue is we need to know Allah better I always say this once you know Allah well I'm not saying the names and you memorize them you know memorize the Quran you really learn and know and practice the meaning for example I always say this to the students in the year of knowledge and I said what is oh he's the one who gives sustenance oh he's the one who all sustenance okay so you believe in this absolutely listen okay so I say why why won't you go for an interview and you have prepared very well have right and you did excellent in the interview and guess what you didn't get
45:41 the job why do you come out and start blaming it on this and that um didn't I just say Allah doesn't that translate to it's not in my restaurant yeah period so I think all what we really really need to focus on learn again is who's Allah how are we implementing our beautiful religion and our faith in our daily life in our daily life is not in just the external but in our daily life and every when he touched us and when he gives us what I will say test us with what we want and he tests us with we what we don't want how do we respond you know be excellent in the trials that
46:28 he gives us I mean trials is actually this is I'm glad you brought this because trials is both and Allah give me a job it's a trial and Allah doesn't give me a job exactly the same child we will test you with what you don't like what you like good so if I get the job it's just and if I don't get the job same test he just the reaction that pleases him is different if you were to give advice to someone who's just beginning their relationship with Allah how would you encourage them to like what are the small steps that they can take study the Quran
47:14 learn his words I I like to refer to the Quran his words because it makes it changes the mindset the best way to know about an author read their book and this is the book yeah but you don't read the book and you don't know what Allah is saying I'll still be rewarded again because he's generous right so when you say alhamdulillah everybody know this what does it mean you can translate it all praise to Allah the Lord what what does this mean in my life now I'm doing this interview with you right or when I traveled yesterday landed in Sydney what does it mean the more we whether young or old by the way because there's never too late to lie when I start learning what does it mean
48:01 I really mean all this what is a robber what is that's the first thing we study in after you do my couple of things will change who I am what is my ability what can I do and the most important thing we all should learn and would learn I have no control and this is the opposite of what the day and age we are living yes like I did it it's mine this is how we say it right yes no I didn't do it Allah made it happen I did not study Allah made me study I didn't pass because many people studied way more than I am but Allah did for he did not let them pass and he made me
48:47 pass and unless I know about Allah well then I'm not going to get frustrated why me it's not fair you know I don't say why me when I get the good things but when I don't get the good things I say why me so the first thing I'll tell every Muslim and Muslim listening to me honesty learn about your creator and everything in life will change you have everything you'll be very grateful you have nothing you'll be very grateful it's amazing how it will be because you know who you are dealing with subhanas yeah and you take one step towards Allah and Allah you will take how many steps you go walking he comes running yeah I think it's fantastic that we eventuated to this point it's very important like I know a lot of young
49:34 mothers you know taking care of children child rearing in this age is so challenging so how can we give certain advices to Young mothers especially grappling with all these different forces of Western media trying to influence their children what is parenting well when you say children we have to Define divide ages I think when they are really babies we're making it difficult we are making it greedy I almost like a big deal what is the big deal it's a baby beautiful I mean what what does the baby need well actually change the diaper right making sure that he's or she's safe and sleep yeah but we are making it because you know what we are putting in front of us the picture of Superwoman and the picture of Superwoman is by being this
50:20 the Superwoman is the woman who pleases Allah so when you have a baby or take care of the baby that you take care of your husband take care of yourself take care of the house and then if you are working take care of your body where the challenge comes in and it is not for mothers only it's for parents yeah is when they start going to let's say Public Schools or they go interact with the outside especially at the age where they will start knowing right from wrong and they say it in now where the parents really need to be involved but the parents needs to be involved in the right way also the parents needs to know what is going on outside what is the challenges these beautiful souls are facing acceptance who are
51:07 acceptance Who Are You background right you're if you still have an accent or you brought the action of your parents with you the skin color education morals what Islam tells is you know there's a lot of challenges they are facing I always say I have a class for the Youth every week and I say to them honestly I don't know if I was born raised in this day and age how I will turn up we have to acknowledge it is not the same as when we were yeah having said that parents really need to be very much involved and one or two hours a week of Islamic teaching is not enough in in face of all what is happening yeah the most important step to protect the children is what appearance has to be practicing Walk The
51:56 Talk the parents can't tell your child go for Salah and you have not prayed you can't do that child maybe he will listen because he's scared but then later on he will not or she will not do so the most important to protect the children number one you as parents know the dean and the Deen and akhara is a priority the child Dean and ashra will become priority number one number two learn and teach them about Allah again engrave in them because this is what keep us going we are living anybody who's living in this day and age especially in the Western World we're living in a Makkah time we are living like when the sahaba lived in the Makkah in Makkah we're not in Medina yeah we are living in Makkah where everybody around us don't believe
52:43 in what we believe and make fun of us yeah right yeah what did Allah taught them in the Quran the whole consulas what does it talk about it's all about you believe you know who's Allah who's this they didn't talk about any of the rulings of Islam all came if you look at them they're most of them is related to do and don't yeah rulings so here I am I need to know when I am here Allah brought me or I was born here I need to know my surroundings parents needs to put Dean number one parents needs to be not shy of being a Muslim yeah and being proud of being a Muslim having said that it is not an easy pathway it is because you're going
53:29 to be different from everyone around you alhamdulillah that's why I need to know Allah these strong one of the names of Allah will make me strong when I am connected to him yeah then when I am proud of being a Muslim I will easily project it to my children one two make the Masjid part of your daily life is not an aid honestly or you know Sunday school one or two hours it's not enough because there is a lot out there I need that child to grow up to be a proud Muslim yes yes he or she has to be a proud Muslim so they can stand up and then I need to explain to the children what do we believe in as Muslims where is the red
54:14 lines for us as Muslims in a gentle and Ice way most importantly we need to teach children and actually us when we disagree because Islam disagree with what things are happening outside we should never look down at people we should never say we are better we're gonna go to jahannam yes I have no idea I don't know how I will die I don't know how they will die because it's not about how you live it is how you die yes so I disagree with them but I still respect them I mean how many of us have non-muslim neighbors careful they don't believe in Allah but they saw my neighbor yeah tells me I have to treat them one so I treat people well without compromising my Dean but I need to know
55:01 my D again back to the education that's what we are missing as as Muslims in general real education about our deal as older siblings I think that's really really important for the two of us yeah absolutely because your younger siblings copy and paste I call it no 100 absolutely 100 copy and paste first child copy paste parents and then till they get an age where they copy paste their friends but up till that age this is your golden opportunity it's a big responsibility but also a lot of rewards every responsibility is an honor
55:46 and every honor is a responsibility so as mothers as women in our careers as uh people that are married how do we grasp or grapple with all of our responsibilities while also prioritizing Allah most of all I think we started with that question we'll end up with this question yeah if you're a servant of Allah you're taking care of your children because Allah told you not because they are my children you're near the most important thing is your intention I always ask my patients sometimes they laugh when they come and says you know it's been a year and I don't have children I said why do you want to have children they look at me I said of course and I said I know it's of course but why do you want to have a child because you need to
56:32 revisit your knee it's not of course why do you want to have a child right and you can put many knees you know and um he said marry the woman who is the nice the loving and the one who can deliver children because I will be boosting about you on the day of judgment the numbers that's one of them I can put more but make sure your knee is for Allah that's number one and number two which he wants at this moment so if I am delivering a baby right what does he say if what there's things I am not supposed to do because now the priority is delivering your baby so your priorities how do I know my my work is accepted is pleased with me
57:19 who knows saying Ibrahim was building the Kaaba and we're saying that's right and what more pleasing action what did he make Dua that's why every time you do anything ask Allah for forgiveness because I may not have done it the best way that's why we say ask Allah for Kabul acceptance and ask Allah to make it pure for his sake I need to ask this with the belief back again names of Allah and your listen Allah respond in Allah you give him one he gives you ten sometimes thousands I think we just need to now I say to
58:04 myself calm down right calm down know you are a human being you're not a Rob no you're a human being limited ability a lot of potentials yeah yeah so we need to keep ourselves going but keep all the time in this path attached to him focus on him asking him wanting from him asking acceptance from him and forgiveness from him the more you for you focus on Allah everything Fallen please even if it doesn't fall in place your feelings and response will fall in place oh he said oh okay Allah decree will happen normally you will throw fit about it normally we get so upset and people look like how come
58:50 what happened you changed yeah because this changed may Allah make us those people European I mean I mean so in saying that can women have it all it depends what is all everything you know what is all yes yeah can the woman have it all in Jannah the answer is yes if it's not my answer that's Allah and Men both but what did they do for it here as the the bad one and he said when is the hour what did he say what did you prepare for it right so if I want everything what did I prepare for it if I want the Dunya to be
59:37 my form which is to bring me to the all in then I need to focus on Allah and have it all according to the all defined by name not the all defined by me that's the most important thing right and then when I when I say Allah the last words I want to say to everybody but especially for a woman in the morning and evening are you happy with me done because you always want people to say this to us alhamdulillah if people say it it's good you feel good but the most important one is Allah happy with us and may Allah make us that he is pleased with us and we are pleased with him
1:00:24 that's a beautiful way to end we are so grateful to have you here and I was so engrossed in the conversation subhanallah from all of us and make it pure for his sake and may Allah I always say to myself and everyone ask Allah Allah use us and don't replace us and he'll use you the way of all if he wants and with that inshallah that is a wrap
