Full transcript of “27 Years of Brutally Honest Islamic Wisdom for Men”. Click a timestamp to open the video at that moment. Need another video? Use the YouTube transcript generator.
0:01 after more than 25 years of learning Islam teaching Islam to men and boys I've seen what makes a man truly succeed or fail in this life and the next in just 25 minutes I'll share with you 25 benefits and things that I think every Muslim man needs to know in order to succeed number one intention connects to action to obedience there's nothing like intention this is why the prophet peace and blessings be upon him said and intention is important for a man because as we hear men need to be people of purpose you have to be a person of purpose and that purpose is worshiping Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala but you do acts at times without intention and the man someone that wants to have standards and be closer to Allah has to
0:48 connect that intention that belief that he has with Allah to bring that action to life number two finding honor and following the prophet Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him I mean when we understand that Allah subhana wa T is a creator of the heavens and the Earth and we want to try our best to be closer to God by having that intention following the prophet peace and blessings be upon Him is the best example in how we live our lives as Muslims and how we live our lives as men what did the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam do in his worship how did he do that with his wives how did he do that with his friends this is where we find the true solution in changing the world honoring ourselves in submission to Allah through following the prophet peace and blessings be upon him I love this one as
1:33 mentions and it's been attributed to sufan Authority as well mentioning Allah is the cure and mentioning mankind is the sickness what does that mean that the man always sticks to his business and within his business he always trusts in turns to Allah by mentioning him plentifully Allah says mention Allah plentifully because you mention him you remember his Bounty upon you but when you think about Mankind and always worried about what they say and mentioning their business and worrying about their business and eventually finding validation in what they may think of you and making that your business that's where it can be a disease because that unhealthy competition is not what a man needs to be the man that Allah created him to be number four Solitude solidifies your connection with Allah subhanahu wa
2:19 ta'ala this one is so important for me because it's important for the man to have introspection to always look at himself first before looking at anybody else and from this branches off many other Ben that you don't blame people for your mistakes or you look at yourself first and hold yourself accountable but that that Solitude when you're alone with yourself and alone with Allah you start to think about life and you start to think about Allah's actions in your life there were times that I had the blessings of Allah to spend in Mecca to sit in the Mas for 10 days and not to worry about the dun that is important for a man to detach along with Salah but to find that Solitude to review himself and to look at his mistak mistes before anyone else number five admitting your mistakes is the key to
3:04 humility you know many times we know we have mistakes and sometimes we don't even mention them to ourselves We're alone I mean we talked about solitude but for you to sit and not even admit your your mistakes to yourself how are you going to admit it to someone else that you know cares about you your mother your wife your close close friends admitting your mistakes is the key to humility and it's not thinking less about yourself it's more of praising Allah subhana and what he has given you and knowing that you have mistakes and acting based on those mistakes by trying to be better for the sake of Allah number six you have to push for Progress you have to push and keep going when you reach that point of pain that's a sign that you need to keep going because you will not see progress
3:51 without pain it's important for a man to know that the struggle that is said is real and those that strive in our path will will guide them to our way and verely Allah is with the doers of Excellence Excellence comes with struggle it comes with pressure it comes with fitna and the man needs to understand that that is a condition for his success in this life to where we will face success in the next number seven one sh does not have all the answers I mean I learned this Subhan Allah when I was studying in Al Medina and then I had a Sheikh or two that I used to study with well there was one at one time and there were certain questions that I asked him and due to the fact that I came from the west and
4:36 he was born and raised in the East I realized that he didn't have the answer to all the questions he may have understood what it was textually like what it was in the text but when it came to applying the hookum or the ruling of that issue in a particular situation I knew that there was a Detachment because he wasn't culturally aware so to think that one Sheikh has all the answers is a huge mistake it's important to take from different sh but having one or two sh Scholars that you take the general basic knowledge from and then you expound and expand upon that for a man this is important number eight you're interviewing her and her father just as they are interviewing you countless times I see guys going to you know
5:23 present themselves to get married and they're acting like they need the family to accept them no if you are embodying yourself as a man you are strong and confident in who you are because you're competent about Allah you're competent about yourself you're competent about your abilities to where when you present yourself you present yourself in a confident way because competence brings confidence when the father sees that you're confid confident in who you are and what you can present where you are in life financially then he sees that you're someone that is trying because you have ambition but if you don't and you seem timid and you seem as though you need them and you're not willing to walk away that is unattractive to her and unattractive to a potential father-in-law so know that you are interviewing them as well as they in are
6:10 interviewing you number nine make the difference between a friend and an acquaintance an acquaintance is someone you see you may see them at a gathering you know you'll talk to them every now and then you see them at the Masid but a true friend is someone that you can talk to about your personal issues there's someone that you can trust there's someone that you know will have your back or that wants to see you when and they should only be a few everyone else is an acquaintance you'll find some that'll say okay there's a friend that I can talk to um and I'll have him at certain periods and Times of my life but due to the fact that we're changing on our life's goals we may split apart we
6:55 may not be talking as much as we used to every day or maybe once a year or maybe or something like that but then there's that person or a couple of people that they don't know you from what you when you progress they know you from when you were younger they know who you are as a person that's the one that you ask for advice that has known you for a while regardless of your life's changes they know you as a person make sure you make that distinction between what some would say is your day one your Abu Bakr right the person that you can count on that you trust wholeheartedly make a difference between that person and your acquaintances number 10 this is what my mother used to tell me all the time don't expect people to do for you what you have done for them It's Tricky not to have
7:42 expectations of people but to think good about them and to have high hopes in them you have high hopes for them and due to their characteristics and qualities you tell them and you share with them the potential that they may have but if they don't do for you what you have done for them don't be so disappointed relying on Allah subhana wa taala is important and knowing that people have their mistakes and their flaws and whatever they didn't do for you and you did for them that may be a flaw in their regard you may give them advice later in life but don't make it an issue of splitting hairs of why didn't this person do it for me just know they didn't do it for me they probably didn't value me as much as I valued them in this particular thing and you keep it moving while maybe giving the advice later in time and later in
8:28 life number 11 the Quran is made easy for those that work hard what do I mean by that you know we look at things we may say that thing is hard but in actuality it is what we have made hard within ourselves because that thing has never changed but it is your experience with it that makes it hard or that makes it easy in the Quran there's so many life lessons I'm not talking about the stories within the Quran as those are life lessons but our experience with memorizing it and reading it for example the fact that you have to read the Quran over and over and over and over again a verse in order to memorize it that teaches you about repetition about being consistent and working hard through that consistency and fighting the Shan to
9:15 keep going to where later you will have that verse memorized and you recite it and most importantly you recall it when you have life's moments you recall it in certain instances in your life that is where the Quran is teaching you about the importance of repetition the import import of trust in Allah the importance of intention and most importantly in this subject the importance of hard work number 12 faith is the foundation of freedom from the shackles of unwavering attachment what do I mean by this that the faith in Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala your trust in Allah your connection with him those times you spent alone with him realizing his greatness and his power and his ability and his strength and his honor and his Mercy Etc with his names and attri
10:00 that getting closer to that is what will free you from the shackles of your unwavering attachment to other than him to Creation when you are free from creation the more free you are from creation the more powerful you are as a human being by trusting in Allah when people feel and know that they can waver your feelings or your emotions they have indirect control over you but when they see when they try to affect you and afflict you with things whether what they say or what what they do and it doesn't ultimately affect you because your connection and your vulnerability lies with Allah this is what will make a strong man and that's what we mean by sometimes of the importance of the indifference of a Muslim man is powerful
10:46 number 13 the sh is there to keep you grounded on your F I remember when I became a Muslim you know I was I encounter certain thoughts that I used to have and things used to come back to me and you know I used to say to myself man I know this is not right or I'm not sure if this is right let me just practice my religion and stay with that and Subhan Allah the more I had the opportunity to learn about the dean the more I understood what it meant to be a man the more I understood what it meant to carry myself as a man when it came to interactions with the opposite gender I understood that marriage is the only solution when it comes to those interactions if there's any type of connection between the male and the female there has to be the obligation to Allah Suba tala first because the fitra
11:32 yearns yearns to be connected to its maker and when the maker gives you a system to establish and strengthen that know that he's speaking to that unadulterated pure self but those desires that you may have controlling those desires for that which is better makes you a well-disciplined honored man in the future that someone would want to follow maybe even a wife children and a community number 14 repetition with reason is progress repetition with reason reason here is intention so when I talked about memorizing the Quran I repeated the verses and sometimes it would get boring no doubt about it when I was learning Arabic when I repeated the verses and I didn't understand those words and I had to keep repeating and repeating and repeating Shan would come
12:19 to you and say why are you doing this but that repetition with reason with intention I'm doing it over and over and over again that is progress and it's meaningful even when I was learning Taekwondo as a young kid and I was learning akido when I was in Medina the repetition going over and over again waking up in the morning not wanting to be there in the beginning but when I'm done I say I learned something and I'm proud because I have a new skill and then modifying my intention to please Allah subhana wa tala through that by thinking of what he has given me from strength from my body from my intellect and for my patience a man is going to need that in order to manifest and embody prophetic masculinity repetition with reason is progress number 15 Allah
13:05 continually shows us it's possible but we tend to forget right now Ramadan may be coming close to you or me it may be a situation where you know you've lost your job or you lost a family member and you think that it's over but know that Allah has shown you this throughout your life it just takes time for you to sit down and think where have I went through something similar to this I can get through it it's important for the man to say at times if he's married and has a family and they're stressed out I'll take care of it I'll handle it you think of Ramadan you fasted 30 days without eating and drinking and being with your spouse during the daytime and then the next Ramadan comes and you feel that it's difficult you have to ask yourself
13:51 have I done this before I know the routine I know that it's a blessed month I'm going to push myself so I can benefit from from all of the spiritual means of Rejuvenation of renewal because I've done this before and it's possible number 16 your body is an AM it is a trust take care of it the body parts that Allah subhana T has given you the general responsibility is to use him in a way that is befitting to him Subhan and that shows an element of gratitude towards him by looking at what is halal and touching and dealing with what is halal and what he is permitting and not what he is not permitted also your physical body your body taking care of your body from what you eat it's
14:37 important for a man to have a level of of of discipline because when you lose your health everything else is secondary you know there was a I can't remember what show it was but a guy was saying if I give you a million dollars cash would you take that million dollars he said what would you do with it etc etc but if you said if I was to uh give you this million dollars cash and you knew you were to die tomorrow if you took this million dollars which one would you choose he said I wouldn't take the million dollars because I want to wake up the next day right your health waking up the next day is a blessing and it is important for the man to take care of his body physically to it will help him mentally and definitely modify and strengthen him spiritually especially if you have people that are counting on you
15:24 your health comes first your body isn't a Mana treat it right number 17 you can't force people to believe your belief take them as they are and move on Allah subh T mentions to the prophet that you are not someone that has clear Authority and can force them right you are not someone that can force them to believe what you believe and that's important when you're growing up as a man you're going to have some friends that you may wanted to call to Islam or family members that you want to come back to the dean and you may be someone that they look at as a leader and you would think that they would have you would have that level of influence over them but Allah is Al he is the one that ultimately guides you will have to accept people where they are give them the message gradually but know that you
16:10 cannot change them sometimes this is hard for a man to swallow a hard pill to swallow for a man but this is an opportunity for him to trust in Allah subhana wa ta'ala while making the effort knowing that he doesn't have all the answers and he is one that and he isn't the one that has ultimate authority over the hearts number 18 one Sheikh does not have all the answers you know I remember when I was studying as a student of knowledge in my beginning stages I was studying because I loved Islamic law and I loved uh that was something that was very beautiful to me I loved it it really expanded my mind and it gave me a level of freedom to understand uh the psychology of the scholars even and where they come with their opinions but I realized that the Sheikh that I took from didn't have all the answers and it
16:57 wasn't for me to blame him or to say that he doesn't have knowledge no he was well-versed in some areas more than others and that's every single human being and understanding that liberated me indirectly because I understood that I had to take from other people of knowledge and this also eradicated any possibility of soft soft um not people worship but they would call it celebrity culture to look at him and think that he had all the answers and if he was wrong in something I'd be so disappointed in him to I wouldn't even study with him anymore I saw this this extent with certain brothers and it was problematic because indirectly they were looking for a father figure so when not taking one shikh understanding that you can expand
17:42 and expound upon your knowledge by taking Knowledge from those that you feel were well versed in it number 19 knowledge is transformative and not Collective you know a students of knowledge Subhan Allah there have been many times where the Sheikh would have a lesson he'd start the book book you know and then 3 weeks later you would see about half of the students and then by the time he's done with the book you'll see just a couple of students knowledge is transformative and not Collective it is not about collecting a whole bunch of books I stud it with this she stud with this sh when we look in the books of the Subhan Allah they took from numerous but sometimes we as students of knowledge take that culture which is great but we just want to have the information and the information is conditional for transforming but
18:28 sometimes We Gather too much knowledge and don't even take time to stop and think about what am I doing in regards to transformation and implementation of this knowledge the man takes the knowledge in order to transform not to just gather data number 20 have no problem refusing that which doesn't interest you why make yourself miserable upon something that you are not happy doing because it will eventually show up in the way that you deal with people and the way that you deal with whatever situation and people will may think that you're not serious or that you're not someone that is uh honorable enough to live to his word but if you would have just said no I'm not interested in that or I refuse or I just don't know I'm not interested this does not mean that you're going to offend them many times
19:13 we think we're going to offend the people but who would you take the opportunity or chance to offend that person or yourself and your principles and your honor so saying no to something doesn't mean that you are insulting that person even though In some cultures it could be understood as that but I submit to Allah subhana wa tala and not the cultural nuances I do that with respect by saying no or saying that I'm not interested and then I keep it moving and that what does it do for you as a man it gives you a level of confidence to where you're bold to say how you feel respectfully number 21 know what is not your business and stay away from it the prophet sallallah alai wasallam said
19:59 knowing when something is not your business in order to stay away from it is better for you and for that person the less of the people know about that person's problem or their situation especially with people that can't help solve the problem the better it is for that person and for you knowing that you don't have to know about it is better for you because it may not put you in a situation to where you'd have to take sides or be possibly accused of something that you had no idea about number 22 the best time to act is when you're not motivated cuz when you get into the mode of I'm not motivated I don't feel motivated you start to get infatuated with being motivated and motivation to where you rely on someone kickstarting you but the man is
20:45 important for him to be selfmotivated to where he doesn't even rely on being motivated at all he's disciplined he's someone that is continuous on that goal he's trying to reach or it may be something that he doesn't want to do but he knows it has to be done that is what we call responsible and the man being responsible is the man that does what needs to be done with diligence and consistency number 23 quality time is with the family and not other families you know many times you go out on trips with the families you know families go together on road trips and things like this maybe in the car you're with the family is some good quality time when you get to the actual destination you'll find that the sisters may go with the sisters and brothers will go with the
21:31 brothers well now it's not quality time with the family it's quality time with other families it's important for you to make that distinction on quality time with the family is with my family meaning that we have meaningful conversations and we laugh together and have fun together and learn more about each other in this Gathering because you will always learn more about your family and through learning about your family you learn about yourself as a father as a husband and as a man number 24 for practice saying good things to people the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam said and a good word is Charity practice complimenting people on good things that you see about them even when they're not around you and their name comes up saying man that's a good brother I know there was one brother he would always
22:17 say things about brothers if a brother's name came up he would always say yeah man I miss that brother that brother used to do this and used to do that always mentioning him and if something that was bad mention about a certain person you I say yeah but this brother would do so and so always compliment people on the good things when you say that you don't know what people are going through and realizing and recognizing that people have their own problems and by you just giving them a good word can liven up their spirits and they'll remember you the next time they see you this is huge in regards to the masculine man because a lot of times people think masculinity is showing a brute face and never smiling and but rather it's a wedge that shows compliments to people and is always nice and welcoming and
23:04 25 smile smiling is aah the prophet also said and smiling in the face of your brother is Charity a smile is so important it doesn't take a lot from you gentlemen when we show that face of hardness there is times there are times where you have to show that face that you're not playing around that you're serious that you're bold that you're honorable that you have standards but also smiling shows that you have standards as well from my standards and from my rules of life that I live by is to spread happiness and goodness and positive energy nothing does that positive energy like a smile smiling in
23:50 the face of your friends smiling in the face of people you don't know smiling in the face of that person at the cast register when it's at the last couple of minutes of the shift and they're taking you and they're ready to go home smile in their face say their name smile in the face of the youth smiling in the faces of people can only bring joy to those that want it and can only bring a level of curiosity and to melt down the hardness of the hearts for those that may not want it in the beginning so those are 25 lessons that I've learned throughout my life of being a man throughout my life of being a husband a friend a brother a student of knowledge I ask Allah subh T to make it easy upon you you may have your own 25 but make sure that whatever you go through through life you study life and you
24:35 study the sun of Allah what he's put in front of you and how you've chose to handle it you're going to make mistakes throughout that but Mak those mistakes a lesson that you learn throughout life to pass it on to others see you soon
