How to STOP Hate Against Asian Men

0:00 I want to make it clear that Jack has punched people in the face many times in his life. More than the amount of women that I've dated and that is that's a lot to say. One, why does everybody seem to hate Asian men and what can we do about it? Let's break this down. All right, everybody. I'm here with my good friend Jack and Nelly and we just watched Hans Y video called Why Everyone Hates Asian Men. Asian dudes just suck. Asian men are generally perceived as unattractive. [Music] What's what's wrong with being an Asian guy? Sometimes like I am blown over by the amount of racism. Why do Asian men get so much hate? How come no one cares? And what can Asian men do about it? And he did a great job in this video. He did. He brought the receipts. He got all

0:46 the images and all the clips. Um, but what I thought was the most interesting was at the end he provided action items because a lot of people and I've been in this space for a long time many years a complain about the issue but not give the solutions and the action items for people to do. So I think we're going to break down his his action items, the things that he said that we could do to fight back against the hate against Asian guys. um and then we'll kind of give our own thoughts. Now that we have exposed several key factors contributing to the normalization of hate against Asian men, it's time for us to start fighting back. Now, there are strategies that benefit us directly at a personal level and there are strategies that benefit all Asian men at societal level. But first, we do need to establish guys, do we believe that people still nowadays

1:31 in general hate Asian guys? Yeah, absolutely. I think um hate is a really strong word. Uh, I'm sure there's a lot of strong dislikes towards Asian men. Uh, but yeah, it can get to the level of hate, but yeah, for sure it's still going on. Okay. Yeah, I think it's getting better. It's probably the best it's been, but yeah, overall a lot of dislike and hate. I I would say it's a lot of invisibility and a lot of not care for us, too. As much as it's hate, I mean, I I don't always feel like it's hate. I feel like hate made up a small portion of it, but I think it's it was disdain and we were forgotten about. And so when you're forgotten about and there's a little bit of hate uh trickled in there, then it basically feels like people really hate you. Yeah, it's net negative. So all right everybody, if you guys are interested in watching Hans Y video, I will leave the link down below

2:17 so you can watch it in whole, but I'm not going to go through the whole video and react to everything, which it was a really good video, but at the end I want to go through the things that he said. How do we fight back against this actually in a productive way? And the number one thing he said was look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, do you enjoy who you are? Do you enjoy this tool bag that you've been given? And if not, you got to work on yourself. Agree. Agree. Yes. Absolutely. How have you worked on yourself? Would you say man? I think for me, uh, I came to a realization where I don't really care about people's perception of me, but I just want to work on myself for myself. So, you know, whatever how people see me after that is kind of like a bonus. But I think for me, it's about, you know, working out, staying in shape, you know, being intelligent, you know, knowing the stuff around you and, uh, just being involved and, uh, you know, just being overall be a good person. kind of thing

3:03 for me about Yeah, for me first thing is the physical part. I thought it had to solve a lot of problems if I was more intimidating and physically imposing. Uh eventually it got into more just a jack is what 6'2 6'2 6'2 kind of jacked. I haven't been lifting as much anymore. But uh yeah, I think that the the second part is realizing how you want people to treat you, right? And and what are your own issues, right? Like what are your angers? What are your traumas? What are your triggers? How do you treat yourself? And then educating the world like, "Oh, this is how I want to be treated. This is how I want to be loved." That's a big part. I agree because like I think first of all, you should hit the gym. But that does not solve all your issues. You got internal issues. You got internal insecurities just because you grow some muscles, you got biceps, even if you get the six-pack

3:49 and you cut weight and you, you know, you get the anime body, that's just still one part of it, right? They they say people at the gym is the most insecure people, right? All right. So, uh, point number two, he says, "Learn self-defense and just overall be the representation you want to see." So, for me, having gone on this kind of martial arts journey in the past few years, I find it very, very important because it's very, very good for your mental and handling stress. When you're sparring with people, um, I think that you're under a lot of stress, if it's just you and them, someone's trying to hit you, it kind of puts stuff in a perspective where when you walk down the street or you have an interaction or even if I'm playing basketball now, I'm like, "What is this person? who is this defender in front of me versus somebody who's trying to punch me in my face. So, it just kind of puts things in perspective on on my side, I guess. Uh I also think that

4:36 everybody I think all Asian guys need to think about taking either an improv class or a boxing class cuz boxing classes you also get put into sometimes an envir a very non-Asian environment and I think you need to be able to like interact with those people on that level. That's what I think. What do you think about basketball and the aspect of how social basketball is and what that's done for like you? Oh man, in the world of basketball, Asians, you we guys all know Asians has always been looked down upon, you know, anytime we step on the court. I think growing up, you know, uh I was picked on for, you know, not being very good because I was Asian. Anytime I step on the court, nobody would pick me up on their team, you know, whether it's playing with other races and stuff like that. But you really going to, like you said, going back to working on yourself, improving yourself, getting better. And then it was not until then where, you know, I worked on myself, got better to show these other people that I can actually hoop to earn that respect.

5:23 Absolutely. because you know to be honest racism and you know all the Asian hate has been around not just in basketball but you know all around the world too. So it's like you know when you step on the court you go to the gyms I have crowds behind me you know saying these slurs towards me you know like you know I'm not going to get into it but you know these racist slurs towards but like at the end of the day you know if you could hoop to me like it's a sign of respect man and it's it's true like if you can do something that people respect it will kind of supersede a lot of the discrimination. Yeah, I have a different take on this because I've been in a lot of violent situations for a long time and uh a lot of my early 20s Jack used to fight a lot. I used to fight a lot of my early 20s when or even younger, but but it wasn't until my 20s where I was like actually able to retaliate, right? So, what I noticed is when I actually

6:09 started hitting people back, it would shock them and they would stop. But then I would realize that sometimes it would just escalate the hate. Meaning I would express and let go of my anger onto them. Meaning they might have said something slight to a friend of mine or me and I severely escalated. Right. And what it does is essentially is they go home and they talk about this Asian guy that hit them and they had all the right to do whatever back and and then their whole community, their family, it just expands that hatred towards Asian people. So it escalates. Martin Luther King going there real quick. It he talked about forgiving your enemies and loving your enemies. And there was a video that showed a white man and a black man who black the white man attacked the the black man 30 years ago

6:55 and eventually they saw each other and then they were in harmony and they forgave each other and sometimes forgiveness takes 30 years. That's a different take. And so it is so is this the turn the other cheek thing or this is a little bit different? It it it is turning the other cheek thing sometimes, right? Cuz cuz I think out of most Asians, I have the most I have very unique experience with defending myself a lot and trying to use my fist to teach people a lesson, right? But my fist can only hurt their skin and their bones. But if I communicate with them and if I can speak life into them, ask them why, maybe maybe retaliate with a smile, look into like, hey, are you okay? Is everything okay here? Then we both are alchemized, right? We like I took their

7:42 negative energy. I brought it back to them. I asked them a question. I returned it to them. And now we are both of our angers have diminished and then they don't go home and they don't take that out onto their families and their friends and it doesn't expand. That is what I think is real strength after getting into dozens of fights, hurting a lot of people. That is what I think is the harder thing to do. Wow. All right, guys. Let me know in the comments down below what you think about uh Jack's explanation about that. I think it does make a lot of sense. Uh I do think that we have to address how does an Asian guy get to the point where he's physically fit, confident, and secure, and at peace with himself enough to be able to show love and and debunk these person this person's beliefs with words or love

8:28 versus just being stronger and more aggressive than them. Going down the list, uh, you kind of addressed some of this where, uh, Hans also says, "Stop letting people get away with disrespecting you." Now, I think that comes in a lot of different forms. I don't think it's always in the form of violence. I think, uh, like you said, violence has it it really perpetuates hate and and spreads the hate and it's hate is like a is like a cancer that will go throughout the community, you know, the more that you fight. But I think that standing up to people who disrespect you is huge. And especially obviously there's like crazy people on the street, homeless people that are unhoused that are like mentally ill that I even if they say something to me, I'm not necessarily addressing that. I'm really not like I'm keeping it moving on them. If they're a normal person or it's someone I know or someone at a event or something like that, then I feel like those are settings where you have to be

9:14 able to uh stand up for yourself in a in a manner that is respectable. agree and disagree because you have to ask yourself, are you ready to invest your energy into this situation? Because you only lose when that anger or that disrespect or the hate is imprinted onto you. Cuz if you are if they no matter what they say and you're grounded and you're secure in who you are and you won't let what happens impact you going further like you can leave that situation like it didn't even happen. Do it. But if you are going to go home and be pissed for 2, three days and you're going to think about that moment for it's going to eat inside you like oh I should have said this. I should have is that internal rage, don't do it. Like you're not in a position where you can

10:00 escalate that or you can diminish that. You got to take care of yourself. That's hard though. People haven't taken care of themselves. That's hard man. That's really hard. No. Yeah. I totally agree. Yeah. I totally agree. And just piggybacking off of, you know, Jack said that, you know, there's certain situations where, like, yes, sometimes you do have to stand up for yourself, you have to voice yourself, but like you got to ask yourself, is what they're doing really worth it to, you know, really, you know, impact your own energy where you have to express, you know, you got to unleash this energy just so what that he doesn't get the last laugh or whatever. Cuz at the end of the day, man, it's about protecting your peace. But if it gets like, you know, over escalated or, you know, over the top, yes, sometimes you do have to, you know, stand up for yourself, voice yourself. But hey, is it really worth it? You got to look at the situation. Is it really worth it? Yeah. I think that there's what I will end off on this point is

10:46 like, man, there's a lot of practice to go around because like I think that a lot of people, they imagine how they're going to handle a situation, but until you've actually been through it and practiced, like literally, you could even role play and it's going to help you in those situations because a lot of people, they're not, you know, we know a lot of Asians, they're not used to speaking up. So, who's to say the first time you speak up is going to make any sense? You're gonna be caught up in your emotions. Your cortisol is going, your adrenaline's going. Like, I know what it's like when I was a kid like getting pissed off just cursing out somebody. I'm not even making sense. I'm just shut the f up, you and it's just like you're just it's just an outpour of rage. It's not effective. Yeah. Which you're essentially you're releasing onto them. And what you don't want is them to release that onto you, right? And it's just like a a barf of trauma of trauma and anger. That's all it is. So, trauma

11:32 dumping, that's the word. Uh, another point he says is, "Stop letting Western society dictate who you aspire to be." Um, I'll go off on this because he obviously in the video talks a lot about images of Asian-American men in the media. And we don't, and I totally agree, that has impacted our situation, although it is definitely not the only factor. This this term called like cultural space or cultural positioning. Like, you don't want to let Western society dictate who you are. Whether it's like, "Oh, you're the one token Asian kid in this group of friends, so therefore you have to play the cut. You'll never get attention from the girls. You can't make the jokes. You have to play the support role only." Don't let that push you into that position if that's not where you want to be. Yeah. Yeah. I think ultimately uh assimilating is something that we were taught to do and we were trying to

12:18 assimilate in this culture that is already suffering, right? So what I think what he's saying is like how do we find the most authentic expression of ourselves in this new world and not Yeah. but not let the images or kind of even the environment push you into it. Right. Another point he has is only retaliate against the offenders not potential allies. And he talks about this about Asian women because now here's a big point guys a lot of people tend to take the hate that they see from Asian women which there has been some hate from Asian women definitely on Asian guys. We know this. We've seen the clips. Hans did the whole thing. And there's even more than that. In real life, yes, I've I've exper I've experienced it in real life. We've experienced it at the club. I've experienced it. I've even had conversations, actual candid conversations with women who felt this

13:03 type of way, you know, and uh but it's important not to project that on all Asian women because other Asian women are going to be big allies in this. Maybe sometimes there have been Asian women who are our enemies in this unfortunately whether it's due to self- internalized racism possibly trauma from their family their relationship with their family whatever who they were raised their experiences growing up but we cannot project that on all Asian women and then hate all Asian women because then you become what they would call an insult right yeah I think we just got to be very careful with being victims right having that victim mentality like everything is against us the world is against us even our own Asian woman is against us because if you think that way then There is no solution. You're not like you're not operating in a place of a creator. You're just like, "Oh, oh well. I'm just going to be pissed and I'm going to hate

13:49 the world and so be it." Right. Because if the world's against you, what can you do? They're just going to add on top of that to add more hate. You know what I'm saying? They're going to be proving their point. Exactly. Uh but yeah, I think you know with Asian women, uh instead of like hating like Asian guys are like, "Oh, I don't want to date Asian guys." Just like don't say it in that way. Just be like, "Oh, yeah. I prefer like other races like white blacks or whatever." Don't come out and say like I don't date Asian guys or I don't like Asian guys or you know don't put Asian guys down. Don't say anything negative about it. Just be silent about it. You can say all you can say it in other ways. Right. But you can say what you like about other guys. I mean you like other guys just don't say you don't like us. Exactly. And I think that part of some of these examples that Hans showed, I definitely think those are Asian women trying to seek validation from the white mainstream and saying those things because they also think it's funny. It's going to get them attention. Oh, it puts them closer to

14:34 the powerful people that they want to be around. I get I mean there's a million reasons but ultimately like you can like who you want to like date who you want to date but yes like there has to be community love and we're going to talk about that later because that community love and community harmony and and being on the same page as the rest of your community is one of the biggest things you know uh and yeah that takes us to our next point guys need to stop hating on each other and see the bigger picture. And I thought that this was a great point. Hans obviously like well you know don't have uh Koreans hating on Chinese vice versa whatever like these separations between the different types of Asians like you have to understand that we're all kind of in this fight together. I know that Asians may look a little bit different they have some slight different culture for sure but like at the end of the day in this you if you have suffered from being an Asian guy no matter even if you're Filipino,

15:21 Korean, Chinese, Vietnamese, whatever you are then you you're in this fight together. Yeah. uh there is a saying it goes cultivate the self then your family then your community and then the world and it has to be in that order and if we look at just say Trump and China for example there's obviously tension there what I learned was that the Vietnamese were supporting Trump because Trump didn't like China and I was like wait a minute in the western world we should be all united right if you think about the stop Asian hate movement there was no clear enemy right BLM police uh Israel Palestine there's ene enemies, right? Who is the enemy for Asians? It's us. We are our own enemy. We don't even like each other. There's 30 something there's 30 something Asian languages spoken in

16:08 America. A lot of those have a history of war, right? And there's a reason why Asian-Americans is the only ethnic group, Asian-American adults is the only ethnic group with suicide is the leading cause of death. Because our biggest enemy is ourselves. We got to look in America, dude. We do not actually kill each other very often. And we do not actually kill other people very often. Statistically speaking, Asians kill themselves, right? You know, it is if you want people to love us, right? Which is the opposite of stop hate. It's like you want people to love you, you have to learn how to love yourself. You have to be educated and figure out what you actually think is love. How do I love myself? How do I hold my boundaries, right? How do I treat myself? Because if you don't know how to treat yourself, how do other people know how to treat you? Yeah. So I I think this is brings it I mean this Asians are still figuring

16:56 that out. I think yeah as a whole as a whole I think there's individual Asians and you know the Asians who find peace and know how to you know uh their own beliefs are solid in the story that they tell themselves but I think a lot of Asians are still figuring it out. I think all these let's just say these Asians whether it's Asian men or Asian uh women in these clips that Hans showed I think those are examples of people still trying to figure it out. And I think how media tries to tell you how to figure it out. It's like have the nice watch and drive the beautiful car and then or date this person. Oh, date the white guy cuz that's going to you don't even like it. Like you just feel like this is how you're going to get more socially valued and accepted, right? Yeah. I mean, I think at the end of the day, you have to look at yourself and you know, you are a reflection and representation uh of the entire race, you know, of the entire Asian race. you have to uphold yourself to a certain

17:43 standard where people are going to look at us as a whole representation, right? So, at the end, uh to start that, you're going to have to, like Jack said, you got to love yourself, work on yourself, and just be, you know, a good and better individual. Yeah. All right, last point, and then we're going to get into things that we thought he kind of missed out on, maybe things that we would add. Uh this kind of is the what if he asked a question finally. What if we hit back every time we got hit? Now, you can interpret this in a physical form of like actually clapping back as far as verbal or physically. Um, but what if we hit back every time we got hit? Because he addresses that a lot of the same discrimination that we're going through today is still the same dynamics that we went through decades ago, even in the 1930s, you know. And so, he's like, when

18:29 do we break this cycle? Do we need to just hit back a lot? And this is something that I talked to a lot about people because a lot of people during the Stop Asian Hate stuff, which is you were very involved in, I was involved in as well, people were asking like, "Yo, how do we change the perception of Asians? Like, we need people to fear us. We need people to fear us." And I'm like, "Well, to fear us, you're going to have to like kill a bunch of people to be honest." Like, we're not going to do that. Like, you don't understand like what that's going to take to change that image. It might not be within us to do it that way, you know? And that was the wrong it's the wrong way to just be like, "Oh, we need to like like do Asians on need to walk around with tactical vests and like armed pistols and like with knives and kubatons everywhere like Yeah. militarize oursel constantly?" Like I think in a weird way do something, but I don't think that's actually the answer. No. Like I

19:16 challenge that to like what if every time a clapback was like elevating yourself or another fellow Asian, right? Oh, you mean instead of clapping back at the offender in violence and hate, you just use that to elevate the community or yourself. Like, yo, this person said something racial towards me. I'm going to go to the gym or I'm going to go read a book or I'm going to go to the spa and I'm going to get my favorite meal and I'm going to treat myself even better. And then I'm going to see another fellow Asian man and I'm going to lift them up and compliment them and tell them they're doing a good job. What if that was the clapback? Yo, check. I don't even know what you're suggesting right now. You're suggesting redirecting the energy flow like it's like chi. Yeah. And you want to redirect

20:02 that negative chi and put it into something positive. For sure, man. Cuz the clap we can't be like I've actually you've actually clap back. I I want to make it clear that Jack has punched people in the face many times. Many times in his life more than amount of women that I've dated. And that is that's a lot to say. Those who don't know Jack. Dang, man. Man, you took on a whole army. Yeah. I mean, look, and and it ultimately it was just me expressing my own rage every single time and then it was escalating it. So, I don't think that's the answer cuz a lot of people do, but I've actually went through it and I'm like, it's just not the answer. It's it's just me releasing. Do some people that have never punched somebody need need to punch somebody just to see what that's like? I mean, you just the goal is, right, you learn

20:48 the lessons from the people who have done it before. like we're pretty good at realizing that. So, take it from me. I've hit many people. I've hurt many people. I don't like it. I didn't I don't think it solved anything. It just made me a little bit less angry, but I think it just escalated the total hate overall. So, if we're trying to solve hate towards Asian men, I don't think we should be expanding it. That's Hey, that's an interesting point, man. One thing that I want to add before we round out this video is like I think the era that we remember being in, whether you're probably anywhere from 60 years old to 25 years old. Obviously, I still think Gen Z Asian guys are still going through some of this and having these conversations, but trust me guys, it's a lot better now. Just take my word for it. But there's this window in these decades where I feel like it was almost like the ice age for Asian male

21:35 masculinity. You know, it was like just we kind of got caught in this period where our parents came over here in like the ' 60s, '7s, '8s, right? And we were born and it was the age of media and the internet and and there's a lot of images and a lot of representation flying around that we did not like that did not help us. And then, you know, our parents are all immigrants. They're just coming out of town. They don't know how to teach us how to be to necessarily be like secure at peace men in society in Western society. That's not like our parents were just working and then they didn't understand the language and culture. So what I'm saying is that now with all this media made by Asian people to address this kind of like things like this video and everybody else out there like Hans Y, it's like we have to finally learn from this and understand that we're kind of coming out of this

22:20 age. Like I think in 1015 years the landscape of what it means to be an Asian guy is different. Yeah. And every 10 to 15 years it's different. It was it's even different than when I first started YouTube and that was like 12 years ago. And it's different. I can tell you that it's 100% different. Not sorry not 100% different but it is for sure 100% not the same not the same. So, uh, yeah, that's that's something that, you know, we you if you look at it like your life is just this little sliver and it was a little bit of a this weird like downturn in the in the stock chart, you know what I mean? And we are coming out of it, you know, it might not be rocketing to the moon, you know, in like a Nvidia type way, but we are definitely like seeing better. Yeah. And we're understanding ourselves and Asia's coming up and all these things. So, it's really hopeful. Yeah. That's all I got

23:07 to say, man. Anyways guys, uh let me know if you guys have anything else to add. No, I mean uh there's a there's a well I do. There's a study. It's called the Spain scale. It measures human emotions in terms of like frequency. And there is only one emotion that is 40x higher than love. Do you know what that emotion is? Hate. Authenticity. Oh. So authenticity in according to the scale of measurement is 40x higher than love. So, how do we become more authentic? How do we embrace the truth a little bit more? Right? And I'll tell you this, hate, shame, jealousy, all those are at the bottom of the scale. So, it's like, where do you want to be on the scale? How do you want your community to be? How do you want your

23:52 friends to be on that scale? Because if you're radiating higher, everyone's coming with you. It's it's about Asians even loving each other first, fully fully loving each other first, fully enjoying each other first. Obviously, still do all the things. Hit the gym, learn some self-defense, uh, spar. Trust me. Trust me, you got to spar, guys. Sparring is like miniature fights. And the more miniature fights you're in, you will learn from it. And you're able to handle your breathing and your emotions a lot better. Um, and you also get humbled at the same time because you don't even know who's training and who's very good, okay? Cuz there's some smaller, you know, people who with pot bellies who will kick your ass, all right, at the gym. So, anyways, um, yeah, everybody, let me know what you thought about that video down below. um of what you think about our points. I'm going to leave uh Nelly and Jack's links down below. And you know, we're just

24:38 three guys who have thought about this a lot. And obviously Hans Y has thought about it a lot too. So let us know what you think about our breakdown of his video. And hopefully this was helpful. And until next time everybody, hit that like button, click subscribe and until next time, we out. Peace.