Full transcript of “Learn To Say 'NO' | Stephen Prado”. Click a timestamp to open the video at that moment. Need another video? Use the YouTube transcript generator.
0:00 Hello Global family. Welcome to our podcast for today. And our topic is called learning to say no. In 1 Corinthians chapter 6, the Bible says, "You say, "I'm allowed to do anything, but not everything is good for you. And even though I am allowed to do anything, I must not become a slave to anything." You know I believe that choices in our life will determine our victory in our future. They say, "Our life is a product of our choices." That is, our life is a product of our yes and our no. One wrong choice could ruin your life, but one right choice could actually bless your life. I believe that choice or our decision to
0:45 choose something is actually one of the most beautiful gifts that the Lord has given to each of us. If you think about it, in almost anything, we have a choice. You have a choice of what you eat. You have a choice of what you wear. You have a choice of whether or not to brush your teeth. And even in our life decisions like career, life partner education, it is a blessing that the Lord has not taken away our ability to choose. It is just that when we make mistakes in our choices, it results in sequences in our lives. Just like our first parents, Adam and Eve, their wrong decision or wrong choice brought death and sin to each
1:31 of us. That's why if our decision and our choice have a big impact on our lives, I believe it is very important that we have boundaries. Because those boundaries in our lives will determine and define who you are. That will also define our identity. We need a boundary line. That boundary line will indicate. What do we believe? What do we value. What are we good at or good at. So, when there is a boundary line, that is what will determine this is me and this is not me. That boundary will determine where you start and where you end. That boundary will also determine what is
2:17 your responsibility and what is not your responsibility. We just need to have the right and good boundaries. Because Those great boundaries bring great blessings to our lives. When our boundaries are right and we are able to say yes to the right things and no to the wrong things, those boundaries will activate the promises of the Lord in our lives. That boundary will also promote and give us true and lasting freedom. In fact, if you think about it and look at the Bible, the Lord is really the first boundary setter. If you look at creation, creation is actually a picture of a boundary. The Bible says in Genesis, "The earth was without form and
3:04 without shape." The world before the Lord is chaotic and a life of chaos is very possible when we don't set boundaries. So what did the Lord do? When he spoke? He set a boundary between light and dark. He set a boundary between what is wet and what is dry, even in our human sexuality. God gave of the boundary between male and female. In fact, when Adam and Eve were put in the Garden of Eden, the Garden of Eden also had a boundary up to our 10 commandments. I believe that those 10 commandments are actually a boundary. Of the 10 commandments that are stated, this is what is possible and what is not. The 10 commandments say, "Thou shalt not
3:51 murder. You shall not commit adultery. You should honor your parents. That means all of that is a boundary. And even God in essence if you think about it, is actually put some boundary on himself when he gave us free will. Now, let me just clarify. Our God is powerful and his power is infinite. But look, even though the Lord's power is infinite , He gave us the power to choose. God has a choice not to give us a choice but he set a boundary for himself in essence and he said let these people you and I must have a choice. That means there are things because of that choice because of that boundary. There are
4:37 things that I can do and there are things that I'm not designed to do. Because the Lord set boundaries. It seems like you have the ability to cheat, you have the ability to deceive, but you won't do it because the Lord has set boundaries on what is possible and what are the things that are designed for us to do. That is very important because a house without a yard, a life without boundaries, even the blessings will leak out, we will lose them. Apparently, the boundary doesn't just keep out the intruder. He not only prevents curses but also prevents blessings from coming into our lives. For example, still in creation . When God created the Garden of Eden and God created man, God gave a very
5:24 important instruction in Genesis chapter 2:16 to17. He said, "The Lord commanded the man." The Lord said, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden, but you must not eat from the tree boundary. You must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. For when you eat from this, if you eat of it, you will certainly die. Now, notice, the Lord set a boundary. You can eat everything but don't eat it. Notice that the Lord did not say that if you did this, I will kill you. No, the scripture says, your eating of this, your crossing the
6:10 boundary, that is what will kill you spiritually. It means that that boundary that the Lord says you should not eat is actually a protection for Adam and Eve against death. That's just us, we don't usually see it that way. Often when there are boundaries in our lives, we always think that there is a winnie-the-pooh or something that the Lord does not want us to experience. I remember 5 years ago when we went through a pandemic. Ah, maybe if you were watching this 10 years ago, that must have been a long time ago but we are still quite fresh in our minds, 5 years ago, the government because of the COVID-19 pandemic gave boundaries, which were
6:56 called quarantine borders. That means, these are the places you can only go to and these are the places you can't go to prevent the country from spreading the pandemic. But of course, everyone has their own preferences. And you can't say that what I want can't be affected by what the government wants. Why is the government locking me up here? Is the government punishing me? Why is it allowing me to stay in my own house? No. The boundary is not a punishment . That boundary is the Lord's protection, the government's protection so that we don't spread or infect each other. We don't get infected with an epidemic disease. So boundaries are very important
7:43 in our lives. In fact, this concept of our text is inco by Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians chapter 6: 12. Let's repeat the text again. The apostle Paul said, "I am allowed to do all things." When you say you're allowed to do all things, it means that everything is permissible. But he added, "Everything is permissible but not everything is good for you. Even though you are allowed to do it," the apostle Paul says, "It's hard to stop when I know I should. I must not become a slave to anything." So what the apostle Paul means is that people may say I can do that and you may say it's really possible but is it really good for us? So if we need boundaries in our lives for us to
8:29 determine what choice to make, the question is should I be the one to set the boundary or should you be the one to set the boundary? No. The Bible is very very clear to us that the one who determines the boundary is God himself. Let me repeat. Life boundaries are necessary. It's important that we have boundaries because our choices have the potential to bring happiness or sadness to our lives. So instead of asking, "Can I do this? Can I do that?" The apostle Paul said, "Maybe it's possible but not all of it is beneficial." If you look at First Corinthians, it's like a corrective letter. The entire first Corinthians was written in essence to correct our behavior and even our doctrine. As the
9:15 apostle Paul says, you Corinthians can say that you can do everything but the question is is it wise to do these things? Because it's not because you thought it, not all ideas are ideal. It's not because we thought it like I want to do it. The question is, is it ideal? Is that what the Lord has inspired you to do and are you designed for that? Is it wise? Is it beneficial? Is it profitable to you? Because there are things that are not sins but possibly lead to sin. That's probably what the apostle Paul is saying, go ahead and do it but wait. permissible? Yes. But will it be good for you? Is it wise for you to do that? And maybe back then he was specifically prohibiting or
10:02 warning the Corinthians differently. But now it's probably a good question to ask whether staying When we go to bed at night and scroll through social media, is it a sin? Probably not. But it is possible that it can cause and lead to a sin. Isolation may not be a sin. But if you keep yourself always isolated, it could lead to sin. Procrastination also. It is not a sin but it could lead to sin. Online games for example. I am not against that. But it is possible that it is not a sin. But if we become addicted to it, it could lead to sin. When we read the latest gossip on social media, you may just be reading it and saying that I am not the one who is gossiping. Well, it is possible but it is
10:48 also possible that while you are reading it, you are leading to be judgmental. You are leading to judge the personality or the actions of a person. So instead of asking, "Is this or that possible, is kissing possible, is holding hands possible? How far is too far? What is the boundary?" Again, the big question should be, is it wise for you to do it? Will I be a preacher? Will I drink wine? Oh, will I eat pork? Is it sin? Is it necessary? Should I? Can I? When I say yes, when I say yes, do it. You can say, "Okay, I'll do it." But when you say pastor what or okay I won't do it either. So should pastor stepen be the one to determine what should and shouldn't be done? No. Let the word of God govern your
11:35 decisions. So the right question is not just whether it's forbidden or not. How far is too far? What is the boundary? It's a good question too. Is it good for you? Is it good for me? Does it bring me peace? Does it bring me joy? Because I only know that our method doesn't always bring peace. Our decision doesn't always bring happiness. But God's way is always the right way. God's way will always bring peace. It will always bring joy. It will always bring deliverance and it will always bring miracles in our life. In fact, the truth that I want all of you to be reminded today is that when you say no to the boundary, meaning you don't
12:22 exercise it, you don't prioritize it, you don't give it a premium . When you say no to boundary, you say yes to bondage. We fall into bondage even more because of this. I remember the nation of Israel when the Lord freed them from Egypt and they were going to the promised land. When they were at the foot of Mount Sinai, Moses said he was going up the mountain to spend time with the Lord. Because we believe based on what we've read that when Moses spent 40 days and 40 nights, he received the 10 commandments and the instructions to go to the tabernacle. But we know the story that while Moses was up on the
13:09 mountain, the nation of Israel became impatient because of Moses' long stay there. on top of the mountain. And because Moses, their leader, was on top of the mountain for a long time, his brother Aaron, was the preneasure of the nation of Israel because they said, let's create a God that we can see. Maybe because God is invisible, they were looking for a visible representation of the God that would deliver them from the nation of Egypt. That's it. What happened? We know what happened in the scripture that Aaron was pressured and he gave in rather than give in to the pressure of the nation of Israel. That's why he himself became the leader to create a
13:57 golden calf. And when that golden calf was created, the scripture says that when the nation of Israel looked at the golden calf, they said this is the God who saved us from the slavery of the Egyptians which is obviously not true because the Lord, Yahweh, saved them but since they are looking for a visible representation they thought the golden calf was the one who really saved them. So when Moses came down from After 40 days and 40 nights of fasting, when he came down, he saw these people's parties led by his brother. And he was furious. He was so angry that Moses broke the 10
14:43 commandments, the tablets of stones. So technically, if you think about it, Moses is literally the first one to break the law. Literally. And because of his anger, he burned their idol. He confronted his brother Aaron. And then he said, "Choose now. Are you for the Lord or are you not for the Lord?" This is a moment that was defining the line of loyalty. Moses himself gave the boundary. This is a spiritual dividing line. You can't be neutral . You have to take sides. And you know what the scripture says, there were people who chose the golden calf. There were Levites and 3,000 of them,
15:30 listen, 3,000 people, Levites, they chose the golden calf over our Lord. And you know what happened? Because they chose the golden calf, those 3,000 people died that day. But the question is, did the Lord kill them? No. Their death was self-inflicted because of their decision to choose the golden calf, that was the consequences of their death. Which I find it fascinating that that day 3,000 people died when the law was given by the Lord. But we all know probably know the story of what happened in the New Testament. No, our Lord is again lived. And Peter no preached the very
16:16 first preaching. You remember that in the very first Sunday service? The Bible says, "Because Peter spoke, 3,000 people got saved." Now, notice no, when the law came down, 3,000 people died. But when the Holy Spirit came down, there through Peter's preaching, 3,000 people got saved. Because they made a choice. died as a consequence of that choice. So the question is, if we will make a choice , is our choice the boundary that we set, will that help us fulfill the purpose of the Lord in our lives? It is not possible without boundaries. That's why Moses said, you have to choose. Are you
17:02 of God or are you here in the Golden Calf? Because you know that life without boundaries is like jumping and skydiving without a parachute. Or you can't. You have to make a decision yourself that you will choose not to just serve but really choose the Lord. We cannot neglect setting a boundary for our life. Proverbs chapter 13: 18 says, "The one who neglects discipline." If you have no discipline, if you do not choose a boundary, you will end up in poverty and you will end up in shame. So let me ask you again a question, no? Are we going to set a boundary to choose the right thing? How?
17:49 Let the word of God govern your choice. Let the word of God govern your decision. Be with the people you associate with , watch them, listen to them, right? And we need to be selective here. Make boundaries about your association. I can't choose who the inner circle is that will be good for you. So let me ask you a question. Just friendly advice. Who are the counselors in your life? Who are the inner circles of your life? Who are the people you ask how you are? And ask you, "How are you?" How is your devotion? People who will say that's not right anymore? Are you surrounded by people that will help you discover and will help you find your purpose?" Pastor, he makes me happy. It's
18:34 possible that you are really happy. But the question is, is he helping you with your purpose? Because we can't just let it be like we're playing in the park, riding the Ferris wheel, having fun but we're not going anywhere. Running on the treadmill, getting tired but we're not going anywhere. We must set a boundary. Because the real people who experience peace and freedom are the people who have good boundaries in their lives. In fact, it's like if you think, "Wait a minute, freedom but there's a boundary." Ah, it seems like a mess to look at, a mess to hear. But in reality, that real freedom is what should give you the ability to say no. Because if you can't say no, you're not really free. 'Is it? If you can't say no,
19:20 you're a slave'. So even though you're free, you also have the freedom to say no. You can't just say yes to yes to everything. And when you know how to say no, you define a boundary in your life. You know, Christians, unfortunately, especially us Christians, we struggle with boundaries in our lives. In fact, I feel like we have boundary issues. I feel like we have boundary problems. And if you think about it, I don't want to sound judgmental, but if you think about it, it's good that the yard has a boundary but sometimes our lives don't. No? It's good that our hands are sometimes washed, we even put sanitizer on them. But it's possible that our hearts are hurting because we're not letting God give us the good things,
20:07 as if we're setting the boundary so that God can really do something in our lives. I want to encourage you. Don't just make a decision. Make a quality decision. If our Lord Jesus himself knows how to say no to abuse, to injustice, he said no to entitlement, no to pride, no to manipulation, we must also as a Christian, as a sons and daughters of God, we must learn to say no. Our ugly routines, our ugly patterns, you know why they often exist is because we don't set boundaries for ourselves. And because we don't set boundaries for ourselves, we became trapped, no? That's in our vicious and unproductive cycle. We must set a boundary. Even in
20:54 our time, you must set a boundary for work, for your family. Set boundaries on your thoughts, on your body, in the relationships in your life, no? And when you set a boundary, of course you really learn to say no to many things and you say no to other people. But sometimes when you set a boundary, there are people who won't like your boundary. There are people who will judge your boundary. There are people who will be critical because of your boundary. But your purpose is accomplished outside your comfort zone. If you don't do this early on in your life, it can cause bigger problems in the future. I know it's hard to set boundaries. God has you do things that you don't want to do. God has calls on
21:39 us that feel unrealistic. He'll call you to preach but you're dumb. He'll call you to lead but you're shy. It seems unrealistic, Lord. And sometimes the Lord will tell you to do something that you feel is impossible to do. Your flesh will try to tell you you cannot do it. But even if you don't want to do it, even if it's unrealistic, even if you feel you can't do it , have you noticed that there is something inside of you that will enable you to do these things? Why? That's really the Lord's design for you. So I mean, not everything your heart wants and desires, you will do. Not everything your heart wants to follow, you will follow. You don't have to say yes to every opportunity. We
22:27 must learn to say no. Learn to say no. Thank you very much for today and I hope you get a lot. Please do not forget to like, share and subscribe. Thank you very much. See you again in the next podcast.
