The Little Mermaid (2023) review | Two Dudes Watch Cartoons podcast #59

0:02 [Music] watch cartoons [Music] welcome back to two dudes watch cartoons the podcast where two dudes that's us watch cartoons my name is Evan and my name is Alex and today we got an exciting one for you controversial one maybe I don't know people are up in arms people got a lot to say about this movie I'm excited that we're covering it today we are covering the live action I'm sure we're going to talk about both though but we are covering the live action Little Mermaid so if you don't want

0:49 spoilers just kidding this movie was made in 1990 1989 1989. yeah if you don't know the story of Little Mermaid you're at the wrong podcast because it turns out Triton is her father okay yeah we got a lot to discuss I'm I'm excited I don't know I'm curious your thoughts on this the the movie we can get into Disney Live Action remakes let's um let's let's take it back to the jump now I know you as a person but I'm just gonna ask the question to continue the conversation what did you think when when um the casting was announced for this super pumped uh Hallie Bailey I mean I'm Vaguely Familiar with her as an artist I

1:34 know she's a very talented singer her and her sister how do you know songs of hers Tick Tock what so she was like discovered by Beyonce I thought we had this conversation before remember she to me this is her my first introduction of her ever as a person um I don't know any songs off the top of my head but I'm sure if she has like a popular one and they played it I've probably heard it gotcha but you've just you've heard but before this casting announcement you had heard of her at least you mentioned her sister what's her sister's name Chloe who I believe is you know what maybe if you put the names together yeah yes they're a Duo I see I I still like you have sex I don't

2:20 think I've seen or heard any of their music but I do think when you put the names together I'm like oh I don't know what you're talking about it's like the opposite of us where like some people know you from the circle cartoon work but when you put us together for a podcast two dudes no no one gives a [ __ ] oh these guys yeah I'm dead um yeah so I knew who she was uh and I think I think it was a great casting um I still do uh really remarkable singer uh that was announced in 2019. well I know but that was when the races started that was when people got up in arms I don't think that's when the racism started but that's all about this it's

3:07 when the racism started and I'm I'm gonna uh I think these people have been mad about people of color being cast I'm gonna uh I'm gonna I'm gonna tell a bit of a personal story here but I was not not dating by any means I was talking to as the kids would say I was talking to this girl 2018 2019 maybe and this got announced and it was like a bit of an issue for her and yes this is what I'm saying this is what I'm saying and I was like she kept saying like I'm not a racist but like how are you gonna change and all I could hear was I'm kind of racist like I'll be honest that's all I could hear and um it's just like I'm not racist but

3:53 and and I fall back on the ultimate argument like this is not a historical figure it's a [ __ ] mermaid I'm sorry like what what are you talking about she's like Ariel wasn't actually black okay it's not actually existing yeah I grew up as a little redhead child who's as a you grew up as a mermaid is what you're trying it is like sorry stupid argument I don't even really want to spend a whole lot of time on it and I guess that's why I want to get it out of the way if you have a problem with the casting get the [ __ ] out of here Tony truth yeah yeah I was so baffled as someone who has no stake in The Little Mermaid I guess also like I will you know what I mean I didn't know the

4:39 casting I was like oh yeah interesting choice now that I have heard her I totally understand like why they were like oh there wasn't even another choice for Ariel like this was the only person we had in mind after we heard her absolutely yeah uh race it's feel free to log off and never listen to our podcast you can even you can even leave us a comment do you feel free so one of the things I saw this morning looking up just random business sorry go ahead uh I think IMDb it's got so people are like review bombing the movie in IMDb is even like hold let me let me finish it yeah has like stepped in and made a statement like hey like

5:24 there's like an anomaly in in the voting so like they're like waiting some of the the reviews now so there's like this is the first time they've done that I don't know but yeah I think that's I don't know there's not obviously no perfect method to figure out this but obviously the backslash is hugely racist and so yeah and I don't know how do you do it you think you need to like scan a ticket like I saw the movie what's the what's the solution yeah um and this is so we did an episode about Star Wars visions and we I've posted a little Tick Tock about us discussing the upcoming uh timeline and like people weird trolls crawl out of the

6:10 woodwork to be like oh Disney's gone walk blah blah blah blah blah blah what a small minded way to consume media but also that's not even what's bad about those movies those movies famously did a disservice to the people of color in them like I agree I agree these people are abs absolutely insane that it's like it takes up so much of their brain and you know what is so funny is a year ago everyone a lot of people were still saying Disney's gone whoa Disney's gone whoa I wouldn't have agreed with them really until they decided to take on Mr Ron DeSantis so now you know conservatives I agree with you Disney has gone woken I'm all for it I famously would always complain that Disney with their lgbtq plus representation is

6:56 always one foot in one foot out they've had like their first openly gay character like six separate times and it's always like one half a line that he confirms it like from a minor character so I'm about it you know if you hear the song and watch the movie and still have a problem with her as the casting choice well that's a different conversation I guess because like Evan said like I it's not any problem with this movie at all it has other problems but it is not anything to do with like her yeah agreed so obviously this is the live action remake of the 1989 Disney classic The Little Mermaid uh 1989 this predates me

7:42 and I was thinking about this I imagine I would have seen watched it as a kid on like VHS or something but yeah not within my own recollection that I can like firmly recall I sat down and watched the movie and now seeing that it was made before I was born I was like oh there's there's a small chance that I may have never actually seen this whole thing and just seen bits and pieces of it but um no maybe that was a little bit of it that was missing for me is like I I don't think I I might not have that Nostalgia for it although there's some some of it there no no I totally understand what you were saying when I was watching it I was like I had to ask myself a couple times I was like is this in the first one I was like I have no idea like I don't even remember so I I

8:27 think I I like you it's a movie you know it's not my demographic I wasn't into mermaids as a kid so I probably watched it maybe once twice when I was a kid um but I think the last time I watched any little bit of it is I was actually babysitting these these two twin girls in high school that lived in my neighborhood and they were like obsessed with it every time you know what I mean so they watched it a ton um but what I didn't remember about the movie was that Ariel just doesn't talk the second half of the movie this was probably the biggest shock to me like maybe it shouldn't have been but I just could not for the life of me remember that Ariel's is silent for most the film

9:13 yeah but uh where do you land on in general these these Disney Live Action remakes have you watched most of them yeah I think I've watched most if not all and I mean it's a cash crab it's all a cash crap that's all it is at the end of the day so I don't know this was the first one but I feel in my bones The Jungle Book was like the first live-action one they decided to to redo and I was like pumped I was like I love the Jungle Book oh my God and when I saw it I was kind of just like that was whatever you know what I mean I didn't do anything for me and I feel the same way about all of them they don't feel

9:59 like they have the same heart that they used to granted that could be that I'm [ __ ] 30 years older than I once was um but it if I was in charge I'd say stop stop it make new movies stop this but obviously they are as you said cash grabs and they do make a lot of money yeah I mean why would they no I oh no why would they well I'm I'm always in favor of original content I'm just literally always going to be this is weird Disney we're talking have they come up with anything new in 40 years the problem is also I mean like there's no reason I don't know like that's what I can't understand so with the Jungle Book in particular in The

10:45 Lion King it's still just a [ __ ] animated movie with with off-putting characters yeah and so it's like why more than anything I think it's too I don't know I well I mean it's to get the money from the people who fell in love with it as kids and it's hopefully introducing a whole new generation to the story is is what they want but like I don't know it like to me it has the same Cadence now as like when Harry Potter was like we're rebooting all seven of our movies as a TV show I was like what what do you mean I think that's a more egregious cash grab I agree but they all sound the same to me now if that makes sense it all all of Hollywood anytime they have an idea anytime they're like this great new idea

11:30 I'm like that's a cash crab this is unlimited IP um yeah and we talk about this in a previous episode but even with spider-verse Sony the one corner of Sunny spiderverse that is working and uh I think they have a whole slate of like Spider-Man or villain movies like who's asking for a craven the hunter movies they're gonna get every drop of it they can so what about you what do you think of these Disney Live Action remakes I think the only one I haven't seen is Mulan uh oh you know I didn't see Mulan either but I was talking to Nikki about this are you ready Mulan has no singing the live weird why weird that's the

12:16 nostalgic The Nostalgia is the songs I think they learn their lesson because I think they were trying to go for well are you ready for this I haven't seen it but part of my complaint so maybe I'm being a hypocrite here is I feel like if they're gonna make these they have to change them somehow like I I don't I this one to me seemed pretty beat for beat they added obviously some some filler things but like they had it's all filler almost doubled the length of the original movie yeah that is true I was very surprised they were able to double the length of the original almost yeah um I don't know I I that being said like Nikki loved this movie she grew up on The Little Mermaid like mermaids are her thing when she was a kid she would love this movie there was like kids like talking very like loudly in our theater

13:03 she didn't even know I like brought it up after the movie and she was like I didn't even I was so in the zone I didn't even notice them yeah so you went with Nikki yeah yep what about you so we last minute decided to cover this or we floated the idea and uh we had just um Haley and I had just seen spider verse maybe the day or two before and so I was like Haley would you want to go see a Little Mermaid with me and she's like and she was really jazzed about seeing this movie and this is one she wants to see she loves the the move the original she's like I don't know if I can do two two-hour movies in a week so I went by myself to uh 10 a.m matinee uh there were there were a couple families there I was seated between two big groups of of little kids and that's not for what it's worth they were they were

13:49 Bop into the songs they were loving it there's you know the cute little kids gasping at like when something from the original movie happens it's you know yeah temper all of any of my critiques with like it's doing what it's set out to do which is to like enchant little kids and and capture their imaginations there were even kids singing the [ __ ] scuttlebutt rap already yeah after after maybe it wasn't the Scuttle butt rap but it was I think you sent me the Tweet about this it was the scuttlebutt going chicken wow watch like oh no are we gonna have a generation of kids that that's like their their thing that they do oh my god um no and so all of my negatives aside I love that you

14:35 know what I mean that's animation granted this is not an animated movie but it is part of the animation uh family tree if you will so like I love to hear that I I just you know I'm always gonna talk from my own point of view I uh I I do absolutely love that there's a bunch of uh little children out there that are loving it I hate that there are people out there hating it so I mean overall I'm a fan of this movie even though you know there's a lot that I did not enjoy and we can get through that yeah my overall impression was the whole time I was just telling myself this isn't meant for me this isn't meant for me this isn't it for me and that's okay that's totally okay I'm not the time demographic but uh I don't know where should we start with with this movie

15:20 probably characters let's go through the characters um let's start with uh the lead the so before uh just before I saw the movie I might have actually been like on my way to the movie theater or like at the movie theater I saw a tweet and I just thought it was the funniest thing they were like why is it called the Little Mermaid her size is never once referenced in the movie and I was like it's pretty funny but but that's not true there's no way that's in the original is it no no no it's a Mermaid statue no no no no no but I just thought that was so funny because the whole time I'm like yeah why is it called The Little Mermaid she's not little like that's so funny and then I was like oh my God he's

16:06 um there's a I forget what the Twitter account is called but it's like it's that thing where movies very uh not subtly insert the title of the movie into a a line like in the dialogue and it's super clunky but man it was it was so bad it's like there's a little statue of a mermaid and he go and she's looking at it and he goes oh that's my little mermaid I was like I liked it I won't lie I liked it because maybe I was like yeah there yeah they're explanation for why it's called that in the first one but then I was like oh they fixed my my grape they fixed it so um I thought that was yeah that's pretty funny The Little Mermaid Ariel is her name she's a princess of the Seven Seas

16:51 one of yeah one of do we know one of Seven Sisters yeah one for each of the seven C's do we know which one uh I don't know I don't know um you know one of the first shots of all the mermaids we get are like all her sisters kind of like coming in and I was like this looks good like I've you know we've seen Aquaman we've seen movies that are supposed to take place like fully underwater I was like this this looks this looks pretty good it to me it looked similar to how they do with like the hair sort of floating and and it looks like how they do Aquaman which I imagine the methodology is probably pretty similar but I wonder what Aquaman doesn't feel the same to me maybe I need to re-watch Aquaman but I remember watching Aquaman being like this water animation is not doing it for

17:38 me I thought this was before but maybe maybe I'm misremembering my guess is they have caps to cover their hair and the hair is probably mostly animated but Hallie Bailey phenomenal her voice Angelic and that's one of the things is like although it took a long time to get to our first musical break yeah part uh is it part of my world is that the first song or yeah yeah I think so yeah it's been stuck in my head ever since I'm just walking on that's what's stuck in your head you want me to tell you what's stuck in my head yeah under the sea that one is the Bop of the of the of the movie if you ask me it's it's the Bop but I have I take issue with this rendition of it like take issue with you then uh well under the sea well

18:24 uh actually I guess before we get into that I loved I don't know if we're gonna talk about it very first shot of the movies [ __ ] raging ocean and it's got the quote it was like mermaids suffer more because they cannot cry or whatever I'm misquoting it but you know and then the very last shot of the movie is her crying and I was like oh that's that's that's a nice Circle full circle yes I was like that's great because she doesn't cry at all in the movie Once until that last scene where she's saying goodbye to everyone and she's crying I was like that's that's [ __ ] good we're jumping all over the place I know like 30 minutes ago we said we're gonna go by character but since we're talking about the opening you know it starts with Prince Eric on his voyage I think what drags this movie Down figuratively

19:10 and literally is like they try to just throw in so much unnecessary like real world logic like about why Prince Eric is sailing the Seven Seas trading with other Merchant vessels cut all that out because it's all just this unnecessary context that adds so much run time to the movie when they're looking at maps and blah blah blah and saying like oh this is this region I bet you couldn't even cut sorry to cut you off I bet we some of that out but I I don't know I kind of liked that he was like you know a bit of an Explorer like a Pirates of the Caribbean type dude like yeah I don't kind of like he got his own song in this movie that he doesn't have in the first one kind of like the addition more Prince Eric stuff I I you know it

19:56 didn't it didn't uh deter me as much as it did for you I'm saying leave it to like one or two lines of dialogue don't make it a subplot of the film like when he's talking trade with his mother I was like come on now is going to leave us behind if you don't let me go mother while we're talking about Prince Eric played by this this actor I haven't seen him before Jonah Howard King what'd you think of his performance I actually thought he was great I thought I thought him I I thought he um well granted I guess he had more material to work with than uh uh the original movie but I you know I thought especially because [ __ ] part way through the movie she loses her voice and it's like mostly on him for every

20:43 seen their end together and that's part of my my problems we can get into um I I thought he did great that being said um Miss Ariel when she cannot talk does not have much acting skill and yeah that's really hard to do I don't think she's ever acted before to be fair to like act with your face of your voice but man she could have been a doll for the second half of the movie She's no Tom Hardy who does all this acting thing usually with his face and voice I'm screw on I was gonna say and maybe it's just you know succession have really good like face actors if that makes sense like even if they're just reacting to someone talking they are you can really Sarah snook is really good at it so is Tom um uh Matthew McFadden

21:29 Thompson right face actor yeah now that I think about it like his face like his eyebrows do a whole bunch that's what I'm saying is is she had none of that and so it's her first acting gig I understand that in you know she's a singer and and to be fair her singing was just amazing and I I genuinely believe No One's Gonna have this complaint that I did because she was she was so Stellar you know what I mean for the rest of the movie that it was like whatever she's not talking it's a little you know stiff which is is hard to do and I think that's where like the that's one why maybe the disparity with the animated movies seems so big is because animation can be so expressive and like um you know you have to work really hard to do that in like as a live uh action

22:16 actor I would imagine you know we're Jumping All Around We're not gonna go character by character we're on this part I gotta ask you what did you think of like I don't know how do I describe this so like the message like Ursula taking her voice and then Eric falling in love with her really only when she's voiceless like the messaging was kind of mixed for me what did you what did you think about this I liked it I I think it for me it was easier to follow it's like she learns she creates this bond with Eric without her siren song which is why people are lured to mermaids right I see yeah you're right you're right you're right on the topic of voice acting I was gonna say and on the topic of succession Jeremy Strong though as Kendall Roy is someone who can do without like changing

23:02 his expression at all can conveys so much like grief every like just the thousand yard lifeless stare at no I got you I got you um okay so um do you want to go by character or just keep jumping around like we're doing at the moment we can just whatever yeah yeah so we I mean we kind of got Ariel and Prince Eric we got their introductions at least um what did you think of both of their their actings I I've been spouting not my nonsense Ariel the before performances I feel you can tell Ariel Hallie Bailey was maybe limited by not being able to use her voice it's it's tough It's a singer that's your strength yeah Prince Eric was good

23:47 although in his song which I did his new song right I don't think Prince Eric has his own solo number in the original hell no it was it was a fine number or whatever I don't think he was great at doing like this this is a movie musical right I wanted more of the movie musical of it and it felt acted in a way that I was like I wonder if this director has done musicals before because like even that the dance number they're in the Middle where they're in the town with all the people they're dancing like it was all tight shots and like all these bold bright colors but like it was shot in this way that like didn't make it feel as big or as like celebratory as I feel like the scene should have been I

24:32 gotcha so it was directed by Rob Marshall uh not familiar with the name but this guy's also done Chicago into the woods oh which which are musicals which I do pop yourself I don't know and I wonder if the casting was announced in 2019 I wonder if this shot in 2020 and the midst of different times maybe they couldn't get the big the large crowd they needed I'm gonna give them that benefit of the doubt yeah during that shopping scene is where we see Jody Benson who voiced the original aerial she she gives a a dingle hopper to uh to Ariel and then she starts twisting her hair with it that was one that I was like was that in the first one but it was so I was like a dingle hopper what okay

25:20 while we're on I think his name's Jonah the actor for Prince Eric I think he's I don't know this is his first thing but I think he's going to have a successful Hollywood career yeah for sure money on it some of these these guys they flame out after they get one and done they get their big break and they can't land something substantial after the Aladdin live action actor uh he's a great glorious for going on rants about it and saying it's like opportunities have dried up which um I really liked I I don't know if I would say I really like but I I enjoyed a lot and I enjoyed beating I liked Aladdin Prince Ali fabulous he that's like that sometimes it's just randomly pop into my

26:07 head I'm not I'm not even kidding like randomly in the middle of the day I will start thinking of like Will Smith being like Prince is that is that what was playing in your head when you walked into the circle apartment ah yeah kinda um but those movies are are fun and like I I have I've never gone back to watch any of them like those ones the Genies it's the genie scares me so much like he's gonna come up on stage and like slap the [ __ ] out of me or something it's The Uncanny Valley it's also Will Smith yes oh okay I was like do you not get my job I'm so mad your reaction at it but those

26:54 ones do a good number of like that big movie musical feel right and I feel like this one never quite achieved that you built her under the sea which is the biggest celebratory song I I think I was the closest we got to it what are you we we touched on it this is so fun it's this podcast is like we both have ADHD okay what what did you think of under the sea why did you not like this or I'm putting words in your mouth tell me what you thought no no so that's the big celebratory number it's a beloved song composition wise it's sort of there it's all these instruments whatever but it's still just David diggs's voice for 90 of the songs it almost feels like he's like a track if you know what I'm saying of course and maybe I'm misremembering the

27:40 original but I feel like in my mind the song feels a lot bigger than just one single person's voice and I didn't love Ariel's little ad-libs uh towards the end yeah Under the Sea Under the Sea I also don't remember those or maybe it just knows I I totally feel what you're saying I I think if it ain't if it ain't broke don't fix it I think I love the song from the original so there's part of me that was like probably always gonna love it in this but yeah while we're on it I I thought I don't care what you think I thought Sebastian was the star of the show yeah best performance enthused as I did I thought he had misperformance I thought he was the funniest Ariel couldn't talk he's kind of like

28:26 the guy you know what I mean uh-huh yeah I I thought he did phenomenal he also is going to be playing I guess this is a rumor technically but I think it's pretty confirmed he's also going to be playing the thing in the new Fantastic Four rumored or it is no confirm baby well you know as far as rumors go it's confirmed no I mean it's not announced triple themselves that and I'll get different ones people are like oh I heard from so and so now they are all on the same four people of of who it's gonna be and and he's the

29:12 thing and I don't think I had heard of him I think he's in Hamilton that's what he was first known for I do love Hamilton yeah who was he was the original Thomas Jefferson uh and Marquis De Lafayette that's great yeah yeah yeah so I think after this I'm really excited for him to do the thing I think that'll be interesting but so Sebastian's design I think worked well for like the blend of like sort of animated and be able to be expressive I think I'm as opposed to all the animals I I do yes okay to me there was no difference between flounder and the crap I think the the crab is the best of them sure sure I can give you that yeah the crab is definitely the best let me think I think it goes crab bird and then uh flounder flounder just

29:59 looks yeah and flounder's voice almost didn't match sorry Mr Jason tremblayer whoever it is Jacob trembling Jacob Tremblay I've just was roasted this man I'm sorry from room right he's the kid yes yes yes yes I was trying it was bothering me I was like I know what he's from you know he himself did fine but just for whatever reason and have you seen the uh shots of him actually doing the voice recordings he's like five years younger than he is currently I'm not kidding he looks like a child in the booth and then he's at the Red Carpet I'm like who's this man he was the titular character he was Luca and Luca I forgot or didn't remember um also apparently boys is Damien Wayne slash Robin in the Harley Quinn series I

30:45 love Damien Wayne oh God I love this kid but also famously in room uh which is an Oscar award-winning film yeah Brie Larson oh oh oh baby yeah yeah I was like it didn't win best picture um okay okay so David Diggs and unfortunately the only one I know is Aquafina now we've waited we've waited we've waited 30 35 minutes or whatever let's talk Aquafina the scuttlebutt I'm good um no it it's not just me hating Aquafina I didn't know it was her till halfway through the movie I had to ask Nikki I go whose voice is that why do I know that voice she goes Aquafina and I was like that that's why I'm so annoyed with

31:32 scuttle which is disappointing I think because I really loved the farewell it is one of my favorite movies which she was in yes yes yes yes it was up for some words I don't know that I won any Oscars but it was it was very good she does a great job but there's obviously the controversy around how she sort of came up on YouTube as a rapper named Aquafina and sort of controversy around her appropriation of a quote-unquote black sense which is not how she actually talks no and um and they have her rapping in this movie and that point so I was like on the edge of my seat I was like oh is she gonna fall into her old habits [Music]

32:22 here's one of my questions with Aquafina don't you think if you're like in Marvel and the Little Mermaid now wouldn't you change your name back I think I think I actually attempted to um she had a Comedy Central series it was called like Nora from Queens is that her name Nora her name's Nora she goes my Aquafina let me see I think yeah ready for this I didn't know that that was her I used to see commercials for that and it was on probably a streaming service where you like see the commercial like over and over and over and over and over again and I was like I'm never gonna watch that show poor Aquafina you know what that's two times I've been annoyed with Aquafina

33:07 before I even knew it was her for as far as we have come in in representation for Asians in Hollywood there was crazy Rich Asians also shooting movie also I think she has people are gonna Riot if you say that Evan oh man it's a [ __ ] movie it's also a [ __ ] book I read um oh my God wait no I think people love crazy Rich Asians I I know they do and it's a I don't mind saying either both movie and Source material are [ __ ] she's in that though right she is in that and I think she it's a little problematic but it's like so there's that and uh you know we have everything everywhere all at once and like the the net result of all that is that like now there's like two to three Asian actors that are like the goatees it's Aquafina it's simulu

33:54 who's in the upcoming Barbie movie yeah uh now Michelle yo um I feel like is getting more work we're seeing more of her progress is a slow turning wheel no I um I also not to just be just be total full-on hater I feel like she was like the worst part of Shang Chi also like wasn't she yeah she was like comedic relief yeah I don't know total Fish Out of Water there oh oh wait wait wait back to The Little Mermaid I also hate Shang Chi another hot take it was a [ __ ] movie I haven't said it not me okay um I I don't like it either though um I'm trying to Rack my brain through scenes the memory okay memory of the

34:41 scenes okay my least favorite part of the movie and it's in almost the very beginning it's when that [ __ ] Aquafina bird is underwater for 10 15 minutes talking to them yeah what's the mechanics I was in fear what's the real world logic why are what is going on and then at the end they even try to address oh I gotta go up for air it'd be one thing if she was underwater like you know what I mean yeah because I do think some birds can hold their breath for a very long time yeah she was talking I was like what is going why not just do that scene on a rock a little up move it [ __ ] up just a little just a little these are close to the surface

35:26 that drove me that actually drove me up a wall I was like if this whole movie's gonna be like this I'm gonna have problems this podcast is supported by Lumina Lumina is an AI powered webcam that makes you look good on every video call 4K resolution adaptive color correction auto focus and Boca so you get that nice blur in the background and of course my favorite feature the AI camera man that follows you around the frame to keep you centered at all times choose up your video calls and stop looking like dog doo-doo with Lumina you can use promo code two dudes for 10 off your purchase at getllumina.com that's code two dudes at getllumina.com back to the podcast yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

36:14 who else uh Javier Bardem is as King Triton yeah what's he from how do I recognize him uh No Country For Old Man oh yeah thank you now that you've said No Country for Old Men it's all it's all clicking for me um he was he was he was good I was gonna say great but he was good it felt a little stiff to me until like yeah yeah I've seen this man ax before the last scene where he's sending off Ariel like that part I was like oh he's he's emoting and all that but his interactions with like Sebastian and all and maybe it's just because it's like a weird thing where he's not acting with like a real partner and and like so sometimes he's talking to the crab and it's like are the sight lines like there

36:59 they're like slightly off it's like that famous Ian McKellen when he comes back to do the habit and he's like I looked around me and I wept because I was like this is not Cinema you know what at the moment we were like shut up Ian talent but now I think he was onto something he was on to it he was hurt that how old is that that was that that was early I don't know yeah for sure like maybe even more than 10 years honestly wow that was early like before and you know what he went from the two stark contrast because like Lord of the Rings is like the most practical effect movie of all time like all the makeup all the all of its practical effects and so he went from like that to just probably all green screen and they did no one there and with the hobbits in

37:45 the original one they'd use like forced perspective or whatever it is but I only bring that up to say have you seen that picture of Vin Diesel and The Rock from The Fast and Furious I don't understand it is that edited or did that's actually from the movie It's outrageous it's outrageous because Disney looks like buff Groot six times the size of the rock I think it's just one of the those things where the star or whatever doesn't want to be seen as shorter like I think it's the topper Downey Jr famously wears high heel boots in mostly Adventures movies but the result is like when you put the still shot on Twitter it looks absurd it looks really feel like if I'm talking to bizarre like this this is a visual bit for for the YouTube Watchers but they

38:32 try to pass it off like you're just looking at them side by side but but I'm my head is oh wait is this no wait I need to go like this I think for her I don't know yeah anyways um we're talking about uh No Country For Old Man Javier we're talking about him looking at the crab yeah he probably isn't able to just act in a green screen room too well but no I agree he felt kind of stiff and that's why I said good not great yeah Ariel a little bit as well and I hate to use this I think that's just because she probably hasn't acted before he's got no excuse he's cashing a check do you think that's what most of them are are just kind of thinking and feeling about this I mean maybe not so grossly uh cash grabby but

39:19 like it's okay I think they're not maybe bringing their a game I don't think anyone's like method acting to go into the job at The Little Mermaid no I I feel you I agree I agree okay so um oh let's talk I think we've talked a lot of good uh characters so far Ursula let's talk about Ursula what did you think about her phenomenal I think Melissa McCarthy does a great job Melissa McCarthy from start to finish because I was the best actress in the movie like yeah if that makes sense I think it could have been Hallie Hallie yeah Hallie but it's because she loses her voice halfway through the movie I got a real problem with this and maybe it's the story that I have a problem with I don't understand to me there's

40:05 something kind of like I don't want to say gross but like him like falling in love with a girl he can't actually talk to is kind of weird in my opinion no did you know like do you get what I'm trying to say like I don't know I I fully put my finger on it it's weird I don't know it's weird to me I think it's a weird message I don't think that's the message though what's the what's the message I don't know them falling in love like building a real spending time together having Mutual like similar interests oh and he falls in love it's not the brain it's not the fairy tale that he's seeking out this whole time it's not her magical enchanting voice okay all right okay I'm gonna try and paraphrase you I think you cannot connect with her chemistry because Ariel has no voice and the acting performance

40:51 doesn't quite get there for you maybe maybe that's fair I thought he did a good job like I said he was holding down those scenes wow wow and um I'm sorry I can't she you take Scuttle out of the movie or at least that version of scuttle it would have jumped up a bit in my opinion yeah who are we talking about I was talking about how weird it was Ursula let's go back to Ursula uh Melissa McCarthy weird casting choice I was like whoa what's going on with this one perfect though right that's perfect I think that's perfect she is the only one that brought the amount of animation and expression she's the only one who could brought that sort of performance to this movie where everyone else is sort of acting for film she's acting for like stage

41:38 almost like a Stage production and that's what you need in these big movie musicals and it yeah it feels sort of underwhelming without it and and that's where a lot of this movie falls short for me and also with a lot of the filler but uh she was a bright spot she is like the only one I felt actually had like squid legs you know what I mean where everyone else is like mermaid tail I was kind of like do we know the the actress who is her in Disguise is she from anything her name is Jessica Alexander no no no I saw a funny tweet though someone hating on it and they were like the five seconds of what's her name Victoria or whatever uh it's it's Ursula's human form the five seconds of

42:24 Ursula singing was or of of her singing as a human was better than all of Halle Bailey and someone was like you idiot it was Haley's Voice because she stole it so all of the singing when she's in that human form is Halle Bailey and so people were like you're just racist you idiot yeah if you're gonna become racist at least be factually correct at the very least if that's what you're gonna do be [ __ ] right at least is what Evan says oh man do more research races otherwise you fit The Stereotype of being a super dumb [ __ ] racist an uncultured idiot we're trying to help you come factually correct and then we'll have a conversation

43:11 oh boy um who are you getting where are you getting the Vibes that that Grimsby and uh Eric's mother we're gonna like hold hands at the end I thought that was I was waiting for that I was getting Vibes they were gonna [ __ ] at the end I don't know about holding hands yeah dude I I think that was some sort of C plot that we like either got cut on The Cutting Room board because they even at one point were like what do we tell them about us that's not what they said but they said something along those lines most baller move was uh when the engagement ring slips off of Ursula slash Victorious finger Grimsby the guy team Ariel kicks it to the side in in in the Scuttle

43:59 so I actually think he was one of my favorites because I went from hating the douche to being like yes yes you know know what I mean I was like he does care probably when he's like sneaking out and he's or the prince is sneaking out he sees him and he's like I'm sure he's in his room then he comes back and he's like the [ __ ] you doing here I just had to lie to your mother kid he was good man for such a kid's movie I think I've sworn on this podcast more times than any other we've sworn and discussed races no more than any other podcast yeah I don't I don't know that I have much more to say about this movie just like there's so much filler so who was that who was your favorite who was your favorite Ariel you know Sebastian for me like I said held it down I thought he was hilarious when he's like

44:46 I am an educated crab I don't need to be dealing with this but I was like that's funny yeah oh the thing I wanted to say about air uh Ursula though is her first most of her dialogue was just very plainly stating where we are in the plot or very plainly stating you know granted I don't really remember watching that from the movie but I imagine it's a little more subtle than that she's just like and I've been here for 15 years and I hate my brother you know I'm gonna get back at him by Steel killing Ariel I was like okay and she was like perfect she's already enamored with the human world like exactly and so it's in those moments from like this movie is for five

45:32 years it's a Disney movie this is a Disney movie I kid you not 10 minutes into the movie I start looking at the clock and I was like oh no well you're in for a long time I checked in at an hour I checked in at an hour and a half and I was like there's still [ __ ] more of this just cut out all the filler I don't need the swashbuckling seafaring stuff I know you enjoyed some of it cut it all out I don't need the real world context of where they are in the Caribbean we're coming up to shipwrecks Cove you didn't like that it wasn't for me the shark chase that wasn't for you when uh she was with all the oh my God I agree so no there was a lot of filler but I I think some of it is needed is what I'll say like you know the stuff

46:18 about the sea and mermaid's not crying that's that's fun spin on it Eric being a world traveler is a fun spin I don't know we need to spend as much time on it not to sound like the people we've been complaining about this whole thing did they address why his mother was black and he was white he was adopted that's what I thought he was just adopted she says something about that in their first conversation that's how we found you or something along those lines oh oh oh you know what she did say that but when I I guess I thought it more of like I don't know like oh we found you and you were a mess you know what I mean not like we physically found you but that makes sense yeah yeah no it wasn't like a referring to some like uh OD he had like so he went down a bad Road faster

47:05 so they literally found him as a baby and adopted him is what I took from it that makes sense okay um man the racists are gonna hate that one too though okay so I thought the movie was good I I um no we haven't seen all of the live-action Disney remakes where where do you think this would rank though like let's take like Aladdin this one Lion King and Jungle Book I think we've seen all four of those oh and Beauty and the Beast Beauty and the Beast let's do all five I think what do you think this one is gonna be bottom of the totem pole for me unfortunately oh are you for real mm-hmm you see this I just put above both animal ones for me I I haven't yeah I don't really remember either of the animal ones so the animal ones is it's all uncanny valley and it's

47:50 very much like why did this need to be live action if you're just animating literally every single thing in it okay maybe I'll read it and I love the Jungle Book in Lion King like The Originals that was that's my [ __ ] and so I I thought this I I think if they're gonna do these live-action remakes do them with with humans even we're talking about the crab and the fish and the bird they're not they're not great in this also with the animal ones I imagine those are no more merchandisable than the originals like exactly exactly they're just trying to recapture the general yeah I think what it is is it is literally a pipeline to like go watch the old one or like get Disney plus like I genuinely think that's all it is yeah so I want to mention this before we move on to our letterbox reviews when uh at the beginning of this I pulled it up on

48:36 letterbox and I typed in to the bar Little Mermaid l-i-l I'm so I'm like what you're wanting to talk about races let's talk about Aquafina and her problems I'm over here like little John okay um do you have any leather Box reviews while I pull them back up just at a glance two stars uh oh this reviewer says I watched it hi and Sebastian was freaking me the [ __ ] out three stars I know a lin-manuel Miranda song when I hear it I'm talking to you scuttlebutt I can't believe you haven't mentioned it till now no I know you have a lot to say not worthy not worthy of myself no it's just like I think we have at this point it's diminishing returns

49:21 with Aquafina with lin-manuel Miranda the new songs weren't very good they don't add anything they're not super memorable other than being really [ __ ] annoying with the chicken wow unless that's in the original I don't know I don't want to look at that song I think that's like a line of dot dialogue before they jump into that song yeah yeah yeah um this one's kind of long I'm just gonna lead if it at the end all Stellar Javier was a little goofy though [Laughter] um I thought the most goofy part and this is no fault of his own though it's when he is saying goodbye to Ariel at the end and he just like slowly Rises out of the water and it's just like he's you only see like the top part of his costume so you're like what is going like it looks so goofy if I'm being honest I have this issue with movies

50:08 that have like underwater scenes where I just start thinking about the logistics of it how did they do that are they coming up for air like every couple it takes but for this movie for me there's a lot of times where they're on the surface of the water or the first time Ariel pulls Eric out of the water he's sitting there and occasionally the water the tide will rise and like go over his open mouth and I was like that's gotta suck his neck that sucks and you're not joking oh so that's very distracting for me personally I get it this one says two and a half Stars not awful which by Disney Live Action standards means it's a masterpiece fair I think that was what I was trying to get at with the ratings is I was like I thought this was pretty good amongst the live action ones yes you put it at the bottom but that's okay

50:54 lin-manuel Miranda will not be stopped until he has achieved world domination and I kind of agree with that one probably um three and a half Stars when Kaiju Ursula showed up I lost it that's pretty good also did she get stabbed by a [ __ ] in their original I feel pretty gruesome I don't think so great I like that part that to me was like in um The Last Jedi when they split a star destroyer with another like ship I was like that's pretty badass yeah why have we not done this before there's some really good ones here too okay four and a half Stars Disney should accept the fact that they will never be able to make another live action as good as and beautiful as this one I think if you

51:39 liked The Little Mermaid as a kid like really really liked it you probably loved this movie and so sorry we've just been kind of dancing around pooping on it a little I thought it was good I I do want to make that like known it was not perfect but I think that's that's just the nature of Disney at this point unfortunately I think if you like the original if you have any Nostalgia for uh the the Disney Classics go watch it it's fun the parts that you love are about the original are still there granted they add a lot of fluff to this one and that's the stuff that I disagree with so um it's you know it's worth the Nostalgia trip where does it land on a scale of five stars for you for me I'm gonna give it give it two and a half right in the

52:25 middle two feels mean spirited so I think I'm kind of two and a half two doesn't feel right three feels too much three feels too much three is like me saying yeah it was pretty good go watch it and I'm not quite there it's like get around to it maybe when it's on Disney plus to me it's easy thing to watch on an airplane you know what I mean this would be a makes a great in-flight movie which you're gonna like how I watched Aladdin the live action oh man uh final thoughts wrap us up here Evan before we move on to uh some some news and wrap up I think this movie does what it sets out to do which is capture the imaginations of young children uh I think where this one Falls like I've said many times in this

53:11 podcast is it's too long kids seated in my theater or struggling to sit through all of it they're getting antsy by the end as was I this is a tough one to sit through you're pretty oh just kidding but yeah well I mean it added an hour to the original the original runtime I looked it up while I was sitting in the theater because I could not wait for this movie to be over 83 minutes this one two hours and 15 maybe 2 hours and 20. what is that for no reason just the state of Hollywood right now I don't know all right this is my most Baseline capitalistic uh pessimistic view they're trying to fill up time in their Content Library just literally run time of minutes literal run time yeah yeah I get it

53:56 cases longer and they're trying to box out other movies from theater screens which is not an issue at the moment I think it would be if like Hollywood was back where it was at oh one thing I did with this spider-verse uh Guardians of the Galaxy we have elemental Flash coming up like movies are back finally I've been seeing movies for a very long time in theaters I I really love going to the theater so I've been seeing movies you know back when we were wearing masks still it finally feels like movie theaters are like back to normal does it feel that way for you it's not perfect um it's not because there's not the variety of movies there used to be I don't think we're at like pre-pandemic movie hype levels box office but I think

54:41 we're like trending upward definitely like it feels normal to go back to the movies maybe to the point where before everything was like a Marvel Cinematic Universe event and like The Benchmark was a billion dollars I feel like we're just like sitting it's like it's a regular activity again if that makes sense yeah um so maybe this is a good spot to Pivot into news the reason I speculate that it's like a a boxing out strategy is because there is this headline going around Twitter that Tom Cruise is reportedly unhappy with Oppenheimer and uh or Oppenheimer specifically taking away all the from Mission Impossible dead reckoning part one because they come I think Mission possible comes out maybe a week before that and then Oppenheimer is getting I guess all of the uh IMAX

55:28 screens after that so I think there is a little bit of this corporate you know War slash rivalry going on there where they try to box each other out interesting and so if you haven't if it's an hour and a half movie versus a two and a half hour movie let less of competitor movies can play in theaters because you have it for an extra hour interesting very interesting I don't hate the theory at all you know I love a good conspiracy theory too so might have to subscribe to this one yeah Disney Disney Plus hire me I'm a great corporate strategist watching succession he's like I know how to crush the competition I'm a grinder I grind sometimes that's good I was gonna say sometimes it is a big dick measuring

56:14 contest any other news no well we haven't done any news are you just still fun okay the one that you brought up that I want to talk about is Disney plus is um hold on let me find it here now I don't have it here it is Disney plus takes 1.5 billion with a B content write-off charge in June quarter after pulling dozens of titles from streaming services so this to me goes all the way back to when HBO was removing things that would be considered original content and people are like why on Earth would they ever do that apparently you get a 1.5 billion tax write-off that's I mean that's not a little amount of money no that's crazy I wish other

57:03 Industries slash jobs could do that like I wish I could just go into my Gmail and erase my whole inbox yeah that's that's what I don't understand is how does them I guess maybe and this is where I should do a little more research how does them removing it give them a tax write-off like that's what I don't understand for me if you're in real estate like the gas you use to go to and from different open houses is a tax write-off how is removing content attacks right off that's what I don't understand I think it's because you take it as a loss I believe you're right if if you're uh at one time no no no I'm this is me entirely speculating no no but that makes sense purposely but they yeah they list it as a loss I think the way and again I'm

57:50 speculating but I hate it I believe the logic is the whole streaming strategy is that you pay billions in billions or whatever for new original content in the hopes that it brings in enough subscribers to increase revenue and so I think if if it's not driving new subscribership enough then they take it off Market as a loss and they don't have to worry about paying all those royalties whatever they have to put it on there in the first place I hate it I hate it I hate it as well and that's why writers are in Hollywood are striking and is part of it actually yeah it goes back to that because they don't get the syndication money like they used to when it would air on a TV show I mean granted they're not getting a ton of money from syndication but if it's a popular show and it syndicates enough that that can

58:35 it can add up you know what I mean and so uh that was why getting to 100 episodes was a big deal because then it can be syndicated on different networks you know what like TBS plays friends now was not a TBS original show so but every time it plays on TBS the friends writers get money and they don't get that same privilege on streaming services which as we all know is where media is at shout out to the wga they are at least as of this recording still striking writers are on strike you can follow wga on like Instagram and Twitter just look up the hashtags but also go to wga contract2023.org for more information about it we're rooting for the writers uh without them there's nothing or none

59:21 of this stand is the writers are the unsung heroes of Hollywood how this is what people are I also hate I'm sorry I'm going on right now I hate when people are like oh yeah that's gonna be delayed now because of the writer strike no that is being delayed because these people will not pay their their employees the proper amount of money it's not because of the writer strike they are striking because they're not being paid enough I think I just think the verbiage of it is important but so none of this happens without them we have a couple of writer friends now too and it's hard seeing what they're going through I I feel for them greatly and I wish them all the best of luck and I wish them all the monies because they [ __ ] deserve it without them none of this happens without them this is how we're getting live action Disney remakes that it's a

1:00:08 race to the bottom it's unfortunately this is a that's all capitalism is a race to the bottom it's just a race to the bottom that's why all this new stuff comes and goes if you're not a stranger things on Netflix you get a season if you're lucky yeah but and that's how immediate it that's why like Netflix Cycles through new content so quickly that's why now most of the strategies for these streamers is unfortunately probably going to Pivot to like some sort of reality content or competition or game show or like home renovation [ __ ] that there's no writers no production Deadpool three I saw is is moving into shooting shooting Ryan Reynolds cannot improv any lines on set because he's part of the writer's Guild and so when he's improving a line that's

1:00:54 him technically writing and changing the script yeah and everyone was blaming Disney better [ __ ] stick with it he will I I trust him in all honesty Ryan Reynolds is also like a billionaire I don't know maybe not a billion he's a kid he's I'm surprised we haven't seen him on Shark Tank yet he's got a bunch of businesses that he he does sure I think he could own no maybe not but well that's not good he might be a billionaire billionaire I don't think he's a billionaire I'm about to look it up look it up I love him he's bringing us he's bringing this Hugh Jackman back what are you bigger yeah okay you're right uh this is as of 2020 his net worth is 650 million damn do you want to know literally literally no this you got new news

1:01:41 co-owns a soccer team football team I think if you were a billionaire you would just you would just own it I'm not kidding no I'm not kidding it it's very good no what is this gonna be like Ted lasso what do you mean no there's a docu-series about the whole process of him Ryan mcelhaney and him like acquiring the team like going through that first season it's actually very good is it like Ted lasso I revert back to my original question no it's a docu-series it's like okay they're actual I also haven't watched Ted less so oh oh yeah I'm sorry you've never oh yeah I mean it's like yeah to a soccer team yeah so okay yeah it's about them managing the club interesting we're going in these directions am I Pro Ryan anti-rhion I don't know we'll find out

1:02:28 if those lines seem improvised or not I think that's all I have a little mermaid anything else we veered so far off the tracks oh here here's one for you what do you think what would you guess their next live action remake would be I I don't know oh that's a good background exclamation let's speculate a little bit my bet is Hercules I would love to see Hercules oh one of the greatest nailed it I I and I actually think I would love to see a live-action Hercules so here's my pitch MCU already has Brett Goldstein as Hercules keep that he plays Hercules in this and and and you get Danny DeVito to play his role again of the M I need to see Danny DeVito uh half CGI yeah I need

1:03:15 it I need it he's old I'm trying to think of it wasn't Patton Oswalt that MCU character who's like a sort of like an imp character who shows up with Harry Styles at the end of it yeah I want to see I just want to see that but like actual Danny Devito's body and not full CGI yeah okay so we go with Brett Goldstein he is Hercules I just thought it was funny he just got revealed they do the they do the Chris Chris Evans like Captain America one thing where they CGI is getting his little buddy yeah I don't know I can see it but that casting probably meant nothing to you because he's a Fame of Ted lasso yeah I know I'm vaguely aware of who he is but I wasn't like super excited well I was because I loved Ted lasso who else could

1:04:02 we cast as a live-action Hercules he technically is supposed to have red hair because he is cousins of Ariel which is fun do you think they're gonna do that do you think they'll overplay into the cinematics cousins with Ariel so is he yeah okay her Grandpa is Poseidon and Poseidon his brothers of Zeus who is his father so they're like second cousins okay okay sure related they're all related Zeus has like a million children Lucas Hedges is that his name Lucas oh oh oh yeah yeah yeah yeah he's a funny guy 24 stuff oh wait maybe we're thinking of different people now do you watch season one of the White Lotus yes he's the guy I'm thinking of that got his ass eaten out but this is a Little Mermaid podcast we need to go what are

1:04:48 we talking about I don't know who Lucas Hedges is I'm sorry I'm sorry I tried let's let's get out of it he's in a bunch of a24 stuff I can't picture him I can't help um um hold on he was in Moonrise Kingdom he was like the bratty redhead kid but he's like much older I was like that's a child Evan he's much older now I'm definitely thinking of someone else okay sure he played love and Thunder uh it is Russell Crowe okay Meg's a good one let me think of Meg real quick oh man so you probably dye her hair which

1:05:34 is fine in Hollywood um I think who has the like a good demeanor Emma Stone no yeah oh okay I see it oh okay who do you got I don't have anyone I think Emma Stone voice wise fits the bill of like what Mega I think she could smell that yeah yeah yeah the whole movie it was Hades who's Hades let's [ __ ] go no give me a Hades he just made me do Emma Stone and you laughed at it now you go Willem Dafoe uh no you know Jeff Goldblum I think that makes it great Willem Dafoe I was gonna say you you pull a real sneaky and you just make it uh Melissa McCarthy again and she plays

1:06:20 all the villains that was the guy who played Carmine Falcone in the Batman the new one uh yeah I don't know the actor's name I just know he's um Adrian Monk's brother Adrian Monk's brother [ __ ] whatever he is escaping me at the moment yeah yeah he is all right are you satisfied with that that fancy I think John Turturro yeah all right so we got Danny DeVito coming back Brett Goldstein or Lucas Hedges Emma Stone as mag and John turtle or um Jeff goldblood Jeff Goldblum is Hades and did we decide on his shoes Gerard Butler yeah let's go Gerard Butler all right yeah he'd captured that check I see it yeah for sure uh rappers get the get us the [ __ ] out

1:07:07 of here yeah man thank you all for being here we have so much fun doing this we hope you guys have fun listening to us but uh if you are looking for more two dudes please check out our other

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