The Most Attractive Things You Can Do When You Like A Woman

0:01 Hello everybody. I'm a practicing therapist and a doctoral student of psychology. Today I want to talk about things that you can do that can improve connection with a woman that she will find is attractive and you can continue to build that bond with a particular woman. The first one I want to talk about is actually boundaries and the reason why I think it's important to touch on this is because a lot of people get confused at what boundaries means. And the first point I want to mention about boundaries is that boundaries are flexible. The boundaries you have with her in the beginning of the relationship will change depending on how your trust is built, how the relationship progresses, etc. And so a lot of times people also think if someone crosses my boundary, it's done with that relationship. But sometimes they don't know what your boundary is. And so a better rule of

0:47 thumb could be is when they cross your boundary, you set that boundary, and then if they continue to cross it, that means the relationship might need some rehashing or perhaps separation. But a lot of people don't know what your boundary is. So communication is most important about your boundaries. And I'm going to give some examples of boundaries to help illustrate further. Um the first one let's say is time boundaries. Let's talk about that and then we'll talk about more examples in more common situations. Uh let's say setting aside time for hobbies. That's a boundary. Not answering work emails outside of work. That's a boundary. Not answering phone calls after a certain time. That's a boundary. [clears throat] Letting others know when you're unavailable and when you're available. That is a boundary, okay? The next one is examples in everyday situations that

1:34 we can kind of talk about to apply. Let's say I'm not comfortable discussing that topic. I'm not comfortable doing A, B, and C. I don't like when people talk like that to me. Don't interrupt me when I'm speaking. I need some quiet time and then we can reach you know, we can have this conversation again. I don't tolerate being called uh let's say being called names. We can continue this conversation if we are both calm and we choose to respect each other, you can say I can't help with that today because I need to finish my project, whatever it may be. So, these are some examples of boundaries that you can illustrate verbally, then you can see how a person responds. Because attraction is very important in relationships, but also further upon attraction is also how that relationship will sustain. And part of that is setting

2:20 boundaries, not just because you want someone to respect you, which of course, but by putting a boundary, you can also see people who respect your boundaries, and that's very important, okay? The next one is social competence. A lot of women like social competence, and there is a biological and psychological reason, and both of them we can put under evolutionary psychology. So, I'm going to explain it, and then I'm going to give examples of social competence, okay? Long ago, before times from now, right? But some cultures are still like this, I believe so. When a person has more social connections, and this is actually true in any culture, but it was just much more extreme back then. Any social connections that you have can give better benefits to you, your wife, and kids, potentially, right? And so, an example of where this comes from in

3:05 terms of evolutionary psychology, and then we'll talk more social psychology. Evolutionary psychology is, for example, medicine. Let's say long ago, there was only a very limited amount of medication or people that can help you with that medication, doctors, etc. And the person who had the more social connections or higher higher in the hierarchy, tribal leader, for example, they will them and their family will get those supplies first. And so, she feels like the kids will not be abandoned or taken by sickness due to these examples of materials from other members, etc. From social psychology perspective, the more connections you have, and this will apply more to current days well. The more connections you have, the benefits in terms of people will check up on you, people will

3:51 know if there's something going on. Let's say you're always you're a regular at a cafe or a bistro or whatever it is, right? That situation, if you don't show up at that diner for example, that Monday you always go Monday morning, they will think, "Okay, is there something wrong with you? Is there something wrong with your family?" They will check on you. Those social connections are very important, okay? The next one, uh the examples of social competence, excuse me, might be active listening, might be clear communication, empathy, cooperation, conflict resolution, respect for others. A lot of people get kind of confused. Examples could be like courtesy consideration kindness etc. Teamwork, that's a really important one, teamwork. Self-control. And particularly what I mean by self-control is actually

4:36 managing your emotions. That is appropriately reflected upon how you feel, communicating well, clearly, but also reflected upon that social situation as well. The next one is adaptability {slash} adjustment, okay? All of us need to actually improve with adapting to our social situations. It can be difficult, right? And so this is why that can occur. A lot of people who are more adaptive and can adapt to social situations, often they not only have stronger social connections, it also proves that they can be adaptable to other situations that come through in your family, which means when you guys have children, you'll be able to adapt and compromise during that situation. Giving and receiving feedback, okay? Building relationships, gentlemen, making friends, maintaining connections,

5:22 showing trustworthiness, communicating clearly with those individuals, and problem-solving with others, okay? Addressing challenges together and making um solutions together, okay? And also going through with that, okay? And so I'm going to give some examples of what this would look like in applied psychology, okay? That's what you call it when you take something and there's an application of that towards real life. So we gave examples and now we're going to talk about those examples, how that applies to real life, okay? And so, let's say um Okay. Let's say you see a classmate that always sits by themself. Maybe you can invite them to sit with you. Good example, okay? Maybe um listening to a coworker's concerns before suggesting a solution. Maybe a team member disagrees with

6:09 something you say in a meeting, and what you do is you hear them out and you share your version and you try and make a compromise. Let's say it's a work meeting, so a compromise is probably a better benefit. Maybe a friend apologizes after they hurt your feelings. And you can say, "I appreciate that." Um you can, you know, praise them for apologizing. And that doesn't mean you grudge and hold it against them. If it's truly a real friend, people make mistakes. Understanding that, perhaps being polite when you are discussing issues with a partner. Even if you guys are angry with each other, you're still always being polite. So, those are examples that you can apply, okay? The next one is keeping your opinions Keeping authentic opinions. I'm going to say it more like that. Being your authentic self. A lot of men, what they do is they adjust themself to please their

6:55 partner. And by doing so, you sacrifice the original person that she loves, that she fell in love with, that she's attracted to. And so, you want to be your authentic self. That doesn't mean that you're going to bulldoze over all of her opinions. It just means if you have your opinion, maybe you guys are deciding where you want to go for, I don't know, Labor Day. Whatever your plans are, right? You can say your plans, she can say her plans, and you can meet in the middle. It also tests the way that you can compromise, how you can communicate, but she also gets to know who you are. So, next time around this happens, she can adjust prior because she cares about you. It gives her the opportunity to prove that she respects your opinions as well. And which is really important. Respect is very important in relationships. Communicating clearly and directly without being blunt or harsh. It's a balance, right? But it's always something to keep in mind. The next one is actually respecting all

7:41 different types of people, including other men, women, cashiers, whoever it may be. You're respecting everybody with at least some basic politeness and respect for who they are as an individual rather than a collective group. The next one is you don't really give unsolicited advice and instead you show your respect her boundaries and only give when it's intended to be received. And so she asks you for advice, that's different than you just giving it to her. And the last one is being confident in yourself. Confidence can even look like a lot of people think this is not confidence but it actually is because it shows self-worth. Understanding when you stepped on someone's boundary, right? Hey, I apologize. That that's on me. I'm working on it. That's confidence because you trust that you can improve, right? Confidence is trusting your own opinion

8:28 as well but also admitting when you're wrong. We just talked about that. Re-adjusting. Um wanting to do better for yourself. People don't realize these things are confidence and self-esteem. Wanting to improve, going to the gym is a version of confidence cuz you want to look better for yourself. Confidence is communicating with a steady voice. Confidence is is communicating and trusting your instincts to some extent and managing those things as you go. Confidence takes time to build. And so whatever confidence that you do have, test that and build that further. And I'll make a video on that a little bit more in detail later cuz I don't want to take too much time up for this video. But confidence is the last point. I hope this video is helpful to somebody. Please like, subscribe. I'll see you in the next one.