0:00 I'm terrible at decorating. Not in the sense that I have terrible taste, but rather I'm terrible doing anything. I have this debilitating habit where right before I hang a picture up on a wall, I'll go, "Yeah, this spot is perfect. I'll just set this on the floor real quick so I remember this is the spot I'm going to hang it up." And then that picture will stay on the floor for 6 months until I finally do hang it up, which takes less than 5 minutes to do so. Sometimes though, I'll get into a home decoration overhaul kind of mood. Like recently, I've come into the possession of 30 Warrior Cap books somehow, and instead of putting them in a closet next to my 30 anomorph books, I decided it was finally time to buy a bookshelf and put all of my classic literature neatly on display. After perusing multiple furniture websites and
0:47 getting overwhelmed with the massive amount of choices and styles and letting my algorithm know I was desperate for a new shelving unit, I had a sudden moment of clarity. I am spending more time thinking about shelves than I've ever wanted to in my entire life. I just need something to hold my catbooks. Why am I over complicating this? I should check old reliable IKEA. Ooh, this looks nice. the Kellix. Now, I could just pay to have this thing delivered straight to my door, or I could go on a fun adventure filled with meatballs. The older you get, the more fun going to IKEA gets. Any piece of furniture you can possibly imagine is at IKEA with a ridiculous name. In my head,
1:33 this was going to be the quickest IKEA trip of my life. I would eat some meatballs that are so delicious you don't even need spaghetti to go with them. Then I would find my callix and take it home. If I had two birds right now, I could totally kill them with one stone or meatball. But if you know anything about IKEA, a quick IKEA trip is an oxymoron. The first red flag that this trip was going ary was that as I was standing in the checkout line with my food on my lunch tray, I couldn't help but notice that even though I asked for the 12 meatball meal, I only counted 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 meatballs on my plate. Now, I had to ask myself an important question. Am I the type of guy
2:18 who will step out of line, walk back to the server, and say, "Um, I don't know how you Swedes count, but here in the States." And before I even finished the hypothetical, I figured, no, I'm not that type of guy. But then, like, more minor inconveniences kept happening. After I completed my incomplete meal, I went to fill up my water bottle at one of those water filling stations. But when I put my bottle in, the flow of water like curved to the side. But then when I moved my bottle over to where the water was going, it wouldn't be under the sensor. So I had to do this whole dance where I kept activating and moving my water bottle. And by the time my bottle was half full, I remember thinking, I wish this machine just didn't work. Cuz then I would just go,
3:05 oh, guess it doesn't work. But now it's making me work for my hydration. But whatever. This is all just part of the IKEA experience and why it's such a magical place, right? I skipped grabbing a shopping cart and started blazing through all the neatly designed showrooms that I'm usually a huge sucker for. Wow, I wish my bedroom looked like a Scandinavian child's bedroom. I'm not doing any of that today. I had one item on my mind, and that [music] was the one and only easy to pronounce Callix. Now, imagine my surprise when I turned a corner and saw an entire showroom called the Calllex collection. Maybe if I had been more observant and saw the giant call display at the front of the store
3:50 or just looked on the website for two more seconds, I would have learned that Call is like the name of a type of bookshelf. And they come [clears throat] in all these different shapes and sizes. And oh no, I'm overwhelmed with choices again. I saw they were also selling these cubbies that could go into the shelves, and I [music] thought, now I got to get a cart. If you don't know, IKEA is a one-way street. Arrows illuminate the floor, indicating the flow of traffic. And even though I was robbed of a meatball, I was still willing to respect the rules of the road and I did a full lap around the store. And I'm super glad I put in the work to fill up my water bottle because this mega store was a lot more mega than I remember. I kept following the arrows,
4:37 but I swear they were making me go in circles. I am not surprised that there is a neverending IKEA SCP because as you walk through a regular IKEA, you definitely get worried that this place will never end. But the real problem going through all the showrooms twice was that it doubled my chances to see a piece of furniture and go, "Oh, I actually could use that." There has got to be a Swedish word for going to IKEA for one item and then leaving with $1,000 worth of furniture. There was an end table that I swear had a spotlight shining directly on it. I could hear Swedish angels singing. This end table would be perfect for my printer, which
5:23 is currently on the floor. So, after two laps of the showroom, I headed to the giant warehouse to pick up my stuff. And there were these shelf dividers I wanted, which were ironically at the very back of this long shelf themselves. And by this point in my journey, I was kind of done playing by IKEA's rules. So, I just climbed up in there and got them myself. What was I supposed to do? ask someone for help and make them crawl up in there. No. Now, that amazing end table that I wanted for my printer had to be picked up in the order pickup area for some reason. I guess they had it in the super secret employeeonly warehouse. So, I showed the guy my receipt and my name appeared on a screen along with an estimated time my order would be ready, which was in 10 minutes. So, I waited 10
6:10 minutes and the guy never called my name. And I thought, I'm not bothered by this. It was an estimate. It's fine being [music] a few minutes late. Then more time passed. And by this point, it had been 10 minutes after my estimated 10-minute wait time. So, I go up to the guy and said, "Listen, I can let the meatball slide, but did you forget about me?" And he was like, "Oh, yeah. We're just waiting on someone who can operate a forklift." Did do you want me to climb up there? I added 45 minutes to my quickest IKEA trip to get something I came into the store not originally wanting. I didn't even measure if my printer would fit.
6:56 So, I was kind of taking a gamble there. But good news, it totally fits. So, however, even with all those minor inconveniences I had to deal with, something happened in that IKEA that really stuck out to me and dare I say, made the whole trip [music] worth it. After I had done my first lap of the showroom and secured a shopping cart, I saw this middle-aged woman with who I'm assuming was her mom in a wheelchair, and she was grabbing all these small items in her bare hands. And even though I had traveled very far for the shopping cart, I asked her, "Do you need a shopping cart?" "Oh, yes, that would be very helpful. Thank you." I'm I'm doing a voice. That's not how she sounded. [laughter] After I gave her mine, I did just turn around and went against the flow of traffic to grab another shopping
7:41 cart. I'm only running on 11 meatballs here. I'm not doing that a third time. But then later, when I was down in the warehouse, I was about to put this big box into my cart when that same woman just so happened to be there and asked, "Do you need any help?" And it made me realize that a simple act of kindness can be so meaningful to someone that it can completely change the type of day they're having. Admittedly, I did end up putting that box back because I realized it was in the wrong color. I'm sorry for making you crawl up in there, Grandma. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in decorating our room or scrolling on our phone that we forget the real world is out there. So, go out and do something nice for someone today. It'll make both of you feel a lot better. [music] And if you have any pictures just
8:27 leaning up against a wall, go hang them up right now. It'll take like 2 seconds.
