A Simple Habit That (Sort of) Fixed My Social Skills for Good.

0:00 you suck at talking to people that's what I told myself when I realized just how important it was I thought that my people's skills were absolutely fine still no one listened to me and I was always anxious finally when I tried to actually fix my people's skills they somehow got worse well luckily I found a trick that will solve this problem and with enough practice I turned it into a habit that planted the sea for social Improvement and made me really stick out and the best part it's really straightforward like seriously let me show you lord it's good to be here with you Mr I'm in my chair I'm sitting down I'm sitting down in high school I always felt extremely lonely I can remember a time where I said hi to my crush and she just looked at me it was really bad and

0:45 it wasn't like I had no friends it was just I sucked at talking to people so I had about two friends so I did what any same person would do and I looked up advice on the internet and when I saw it I went nice it said St like smile more and ask more questions be humble and for a moment it worked but it just made me fake granted most of it was valid advice but it was just too much and I tried to do it all at once like most people and that made it even worse so one day I was playing chess with my dad and it made me realize something really important and that was that I am at chess that left me wondering why why am I at chess I mean I watched a few 10-minute videos at about Chess why am I

1:31 no better if I read a 10-page book about Chess in say 15 minutes will I become a Grandmaster no I thought to myself of course not that's stupid so why would a 10-minute video about social skills do the same well it wouldn't I realized that this wasn't the way I realized people AR computers I mean I can't just download a program and then and then that program makes me become whatever I want in just one day and that's when I realized that information alone is kind of useless memorization doesn't mean knowledge and knowledge doesn't mean skill just means you know something so I thought of a brilliant little idea about how to make everything I learn appliable to every single social situation now in this video I'm going to show you how to do it but first I'm going to tell you what it did to me and how it improved my

2:17 social skills forever that's right I'm not bullshitting you I said forever when I implemented this little habit into my life I made all sorts of improvements I started talking loud enough so people could hear me I used to talk like a mouse I started speaking more articulately because before I used to just trip over my words and probably the best part was I became a much better listener who rarely ran out of things to say and it might shock you cuz it's so simple I'll explain afterwards all I was doing was thinking more often in silence how could such a simple thing have such amazing results well it doesn't have amazing results unless you do it like this I call it the pre-con conversational thought habit or just the good habit and here's three steps on how to do it with the last one being the

3:02 best one first of all we as human beings don't have the memory of elephants I could watch a really short video but without action it wouldn't do anything so at first I had to remember to do it consistently before it became a habit that came along naturally and this was done with a few simple approaches well one I told myself every morning or I made it a daily goal but by far one of the biggest changes I made was practicing something called diaphragmatic breathing I actually encourage you look into this yourself because it made me personally feel a lot more present and relaxed okay so now I remember to do it but what do I have to do now well I have to do it properly I noticed quickly that just thinking for a small amount of time wasn't going to cut it I was worrying about what I was going to say to the other person before they were even finished talking this is

3:48 stupid why on Earth I thought to myself was I thinking of a response before the other person even finished talking it's ridiculous it's me making assumptions so I need to think after they finished talking quote in my rule book is withhold evaluation until comprehension is complete then once the other person was finished all I had to do was simply stop think for a moment in silence and then talk just did a couple things for me well first of all I got a lot more articulate I started speaking really clearly straight off the bat another thing it did is I think it showed people just how much I cared because I took the time to really hear them out and formulate a proper answer and people could really see that now the final step this is the juiciest step the reason I did the last two was so I could focus on

4:34 the good stuff now every single time I would go to talk to someone I would remember that I'm trying to improve my social skills and so I could focus on one thing at a time this could be being more authentic being Kinder talking louder it could be anything and at the moment for me it's trying to be more authentic so now wherever I go and whoever I talk to I will always remember that I need to lock in and focus about being better at talking to people I'm I'm going to be uploading a little bit less frequently than I have in the past but you'll still see some stuff from me in the future