0:00 this was Me 2 years ago insecure in my own skin following Trends spending thousands of pounds on cosmetic procedures makeup beauty products all in the hope that it would make me look and feel better shock nothing worked fast forward two years later I look and feel the most confident and attractive I ever have in my entire life I'm spending a fraction of the money and I'm able to look my best most of the time despite working more more than I ever have done in my entire life these are the 11 habits that have allowed me to do so time stamped for your convenience if you would like to skip section one we're going to cover the physical habits to look and feel effortlessly polished even
0:46 when you've worked a 12-hour shift section two The Confidence Code how to unlock your inner power and section three the social habits that are going to enable you to become magnetic so let's start off with habit number one the uniform effect and we need to have a quick chat about what I feel is the main factor holding many women back in 2024 I reckon you are making about 10 more decisions than a man before you have even left your front door every single day what to wear how to do your hair which makeup and beauty products you're going to use not only do you constantly feel drained by all these decisions but you also feel like you're stuck in a loop of choices about your external appearance hoping that the next choice
1:32 will be the one that finally makes you feel like you I used to waste so much time searching for that perfect look that would make me feel like a million pounds only to feel less confident in the process and then I would find a look that made me felt and look really good but I would feel this pressure from being a woman to then have to try and reinvent the wheel every single day because God forbid you wear the same thing twice then I discovered the uniform effect and before I let you in on What the uniform effect is let's talk about the science decision fatigue is where we use up so much brain power making choices that our brain starts to give up and tire out studies on decision fatigue show us that the more choices we
2:18 make throughout the day the less effective our decisions become this is why highly successful people like Steve Jobs or Mark Zuckerberg decided to wear the exact same thing every sing single day it minimized their mental strain and allowed them to focus on bigger more important decisions am I suggesting that you get yourself into your nearest Clothes shop and pick up seven identical tops and trousers no but what I am suggesting is the following step number one you're going to reflect on items of clothing that you wear that make you feel and look incredible if you cannot think of anything you're going to make yourself a Pinterest board and find some images Styles and looks that are appealing to you next you're going to Define Three core outfits one for work
3:06 one for social and one for casual days so for me personally core look one this is what I wear if I'm filming or chilling AKA this taller t-shirt I basically have it in five different colors and black wide leg trousers or flar core look number two is my workoutfit this is normally a quarter zip with this white T-shirt that I got from Unico that is super good quality and fits really nicely with some wide leg trousers half socks and my loafers and finally core look number three this is social and at the moment because it is awesome I've got this cute little black mini SK skirt that I tend to wear with thermal tights and then tights on top a black tler top that I have black
3:52 boots my peer and maybe a colorful scarf next you're going to streamline your accessories I basically always wear the same pair of gold earrings and my aura ring you're also going to keep your makeup and hair routine super simple find a hairstyle you love and a minimal makeup routine to cut down on time my hair on day one is always in a Dyson air wrap bouncy blowout and then claw grip for days two and three I always do the exact same makeup routine unless I'm filming or going out when I just add eyeliner and voila the results you will look polished and confident in a style that is personalized and unique to you not based off following Trends and before anyone tries to suggest that this is boring or basic I have much more
4:38 exciting things to be doing with my time than trying to look good every single day but not only does this formula streamline my life I look better habit number two please for the love of God curate your beauty routine around science-based products I want you to picture your bathroom counter right now how many products are clustering it ones you bought impulsively but never used the products you thought were going to be the solution but ended up collecting dust I was the queen of skin and hair care Trends if I saw it on Tik Tok it was going in my basket but half of these products not only did not work for me but there was no scientific research that these products were going to work for anyone when I finally realized this
5:24 and educated myself on the basics I realized that buying fewer science-based products could have a much bigger impact on how I looked three years ago I discovered the skin and me daily doser and every single day since then it has been making my skin look clearer and brighter what I love about the skin in me daily doser is how personalized it is you actually go through a consultation where their Dermatology team reviews everything about your skin and they design a treatment for you I'm talking serious gold standard ingredient not just trendy buzzwords with skin in me I know I'm getting exactly what my skin needs whether it's texture or pigmentation or just keeping my skin balanced and healthy it's all tailored
6:09 towards my goals and they even have experts on hand for ongoing support so if my skin changes my plan does too the best part about skin and me is it is designed for me I don't have to guess what's best for my skin or spend hours and hours doing research I just get to enjoy the results and skin in me makes it ridiculously easy my daily doser arrives at my door every month so I never have to worry about running out if you're serious about upping your skin care game you should definitely try out skinning me you can use my code FaZe skin to get your first daily doser for £4.99 instead of £24.99 and trust me when you see the results you're going to be hooked too but of course even if you have a daily doser to cement your evidence-based skincare routine what
6:56 about your hair and makeup here are three actionable steps to ensure that my entire Beauty routine is evidence-based number one you're going to make sure that you do your research before buying anything look up the ingredients and check that they're backed by studies and if you see something on social media you're going to validate it against at least three reliable sources number two you're going to stick to the essentials please don't try and unnecessarily over complicate things for my skin for example I literally just stick to to a cleanser a moisturizer and a skincare treatment based on my personal skincare goals aka the skin and me daily Dozer and of course an SPF and three you're going to avoid impulse buys by waiting
7:42 at least 24 hours before making a purchase habit number three this is movement for glow not goals girls who have exercised before because they hate their bodies I'm looking at you do you ever look in the mirror and feel like your face is a bit puffier or your posture is awful you might be missing one powerful habit that impacts both your appearance and your energy moving your body when I had a very disordered relationship with food and my body I always just saw exercise as a means of staying in shape and it took me way too long to realize that it's so much more than that when I consistently exercise I notice my face looks more defined my posture improved I have way more energy and I just carry myself different
8:29 because I have more confidence in my body but what's the science physical exercise improves lymphatic drainage which can reduce puffiness people pay a lot of money to get lymphatic drainage when you could just go for a walk exercise also improves posture and releases mood boosting endorphins which can improve your self-confidence and make you appear more vibrant so actionable steps you are going to start incorporating movement into your daily routine even just by going for a short walk you can make a huge difference you're going to focus on your posture add exercises that strengthen your core like Pates or yoga and finally notice the glow pay attention to how your face and energy levels change with regular
9:16 movement habit number four I know I already said that habit number one was my favorite but I think this is actually my favorite low maintenance high maintenance grooming you definitely know someone who seems to Swan into your office or lectures always looking effortlessly polished whilst you've barely had any time to have breakfast I used to think that looking put together meant waking up at 5:00 a.m. to spend hours on my hair and makeup I definitely do not have time to be doing a bouncy blowout before a 12-hour shift but I have discovered subtle ways to enhance my natural features that cut my routine in half I know you already know that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover but the human brain doesn't being well-groomed cannot only impact how attractive and confidence we feel but it
10:03 also impacts how we are treated so we want to be looking at our best whenever possible but these actional steps make it possible more of the time number one you're going to opt for semi-permanent makeup I spoke about this on my stories a couple of days ago if you do not follow me there then make sure you change that because I often ask for video suggestions and I try and answer lots of questions from my messages on my stories but I digress I spoke about getting lip blush in September as probably one of the best decisions I've made all of 20124 I have got nothing on my lips right now apart from Vaseline so every single morning I wake up I do not have to put anything on my face and I look like I'm wearing lipstick I'm going to put a picture on
10:50 screen now of what my lips look like now without any makeup on first is what they did before it's incredible I will put the girl who did mine on screen now as well if anyone wanted to go to her she's phenomenal she's also going to do my brows over Christmas and I'm so excited but for the time being I tint my eyebrows myself that cuts out a huge chunk of my beauty routine as well and you can also opt for eyelash tinting or LVL to give you a naturally enhanced look every morning with zero effort number two you're going to invest in skincare over makeup using good skincare products like the skin and me daily doser means honestly now I feel even more confident in my own skin than if I was to wear Foundation finally you're going to opt for low maintenance hair
11:36 care I get a t-section of highlights every few months to keep my color fresh and with minimal upkeep which is worlds apart from me a couple of years ago when I was bleaching my hair blonde and literally within 2 weeks you could see my dark roots coming through so every 6 weeks I had to sit in a hair salon chair for about 6 hours getting my hair done I do not have time for that moving on to section two and I just want to formally apologize to any of you who have already watched a video on how to become more attractive that did not include anything that was not a physical change that you can make to yourself I'm sorry we have all met people who are visually blessed
12:22 by gods but their energy is repulsive which is of course why two of the sections in this video have absolutely nothing to do with how you look so section two we need to talk about The Confidence Code unlocking your inner power I want you to think about someone who you've watched do a presentation or walked into a room with unshakable confidence and you have thought I could never do that they weren't born with that ability they built it confidence isn't Magic so please get that out of your head right away it's momentum confidence is like a snowball it starts off small but as you roll it forward with small consistent actions it builds into something Unstoppable people often think that you need confidence before
13:07 you try new things but it's completely the other way around taking action creates the confidence that you're seeking research shows that improving competence in any skill increases confidence which causes a reinforcing Loop and stop thinking that confidence can only be linked to grand gestures like having a TED talk you can grow your confidence from actions as simple as speaking up in a meeting to show yourself that you do have a voice or mastering a hobby to show yourself that you are capable of learning new things so of course I have three actionable steps that you can Implement into your own life to start off the competence confidence cycle number one you're going to start small choose a task or situation that challenges you speaking
13:53 up in a team meeting or introducing yourself at a networking event number two you're going to track your wins I just have a note on my phone where I keep track of all my small successes and I look at it anytime I have any self-doubt to remind myself how far I've come because progress my friends fuels momentum number three you're going to actively seek feedback I know it can hurt like a when someone tells you that maybe you're not doing things as well as you want to be doing them but you know what's worse ignorance I kind of hate the advice about impostor syndrome that centers all around positive self talk when actually I think the best way to combat imposter syndrome is not only getting good at receiving positive feedback but also being able to receive negative feedback as well so
14:40 we're able to objectively assess our abilities much more accurately and learn to trust our brain again and remember to treat confidence like any other musle you wouldn't expect to lift heavy weights in the gym without any practice so don't expect your confidence to arrive over overnight just like that habit number six we're going to tap into our Sasha Fus and channel our inner Alter Ego imagine this you're stepping into a high stakes situation your palms are sweating your heart is racing you wish that in that moment you could tap into a Fearless version of yourself that handles everything effortlessly confidence isn't about creating a mask and becoming someone completely
15:26 different it's about unlocking that in version of yourself that is bolder more decisive but is already inherently inside of you think of it like a confidence costume that you can put on when you need to by visualizing and stepping into this Persona you bypass the doubts that are holding you back the alter ego effect is a concept that was popularized by Todd Herman a performance coach athletes actors and Business Leaders often create alter egos to channel confidence Under Pressure but what are the actionable steps I hear you ask number one you're going to design your Alter Ego you need to give them a name traits and even a signature move like Standing Tall or taking a deep breath number two you're going to Anchor with cues wear something that connects
16:14 you with this Persona maybe a piece of jewelry a jacket or even a song so the moment you see it you hear it or you put it on you are able to snap into that Persona immediately finally you're going to visualize SU success anytime you enter a situation that is causing you anxiety you're going to imagine how your alter ego would tackle it and borrow their courage until it becomes your own Beyonce famously created Sasha Fus to overcome stage fright so if it's good enough for Beyonce it is good enough for you and me Habit number seven what if I told you that the secret to being more confident could start with how you stand or the way you move confidence is not just in your mind it's in your body body
16:59 we need to learn how to embody confidence through our body language your body is a powerful tool for shaping not only how you feel but how others perceive you the way you carry yourself sends subconscious signals to your brain as well as the people that are around you and if that all sounds very confusing then I'm going to let you in on a secret you can hijack your body language to build inner confidence actionable step number one you're going to learn how to master the power pose so you may have seen this one on Gray's Anatomy the research on this I'm going to be honest is a little bit sketchy but personally I find it helps me so I thought it was worth a mention before you enter into a situation that scares you try and spend 2 minutes with your hands on your hips and your arms wide
17:45 being completely honest I normally lock myself in a bathroom for this however if you have the confidence to do it in a room for other people even better but of course this should not end the moment you unlock yourself from the bathroom door oh no no no no no actionable step number two you want to adopt open postures anyway in everyday interactions shoulders back making eye contact and avoiding crossing your arms you'll immediately appear more confident and approachable actionable step number three this is for all the ladies listening you're going to want to take up space as women we can be so guilty of trying to make ourselves as small as possible but please get comfortable in existing an understanding that you deserve to take up space just as much as
18:33 anybody else whether you're sitting or standing or speaking claim that space without hesitation body language isn't just about looking confident it's about feeling confident as well and even if you have to fake it to begin with it can have real psychological effects before we move on to the next section I think it's really important to highlight a huge perspective shift I think we all have to have when it comes to conf confidence that confidence isn't about being Fearless it's about acting despite fear even the most confident people in the world experience self-doubt and if we recognize this and normalize it we can better learn tactics that can help us manage this fear section three is all about becoming magnetic so the social
19:19 habits that are going to make you undeniably attractive to anyone who comes into contact with you have you ever been in a situation where someone has absolutely no idea who you are even though you know who they are or when it's glaringly obvious that someone cannot remember your name how did that make you feel small insignificant and important so habit number eight is all about the name game I'm going to hold my hands up I am the worst at remembering people's names it honestly was nothing personal but it took me a long time to realize remembering someone's name is literally the easiest way to connect with someone and make someone feel important using someone's name shows
20:04 that you see them as an individual and not just someone you once met it's such a simple thing that is often overlooked but makes someone feel recognized and valued and the science is clear hearing your name activates the pleasure centers in your brain research suggests that using someone's name creates a personal and stronger connection but as I said I have been awful at remember remembering people's names in the past so what has really helped me is when someone says their name I try and repeat it almost immediately afterwards and then try and work it into the conversation at least three times after that to reinforce the neural Connections in my brain minimizing the risk of me forgetting it 2 seconds later another tip is I try and
20:50 create an association with someone's name and them for example if someone's name is Greta and they are wearing green I will remember that in my head as green greter or greter in green the sillier the better because it makes it more memorable habit number nine I want you to think about the last genuine compliment that you received maybe it was for your work a special talent your outfit or how passionate you were about something and how did that make you feel did you have that warm fuzzy feeling in your tummy for the rest of the day did it feel kind of amazing like you could conquer everything even on my worst days when someone says something even remotely nice to me it can really help me get over a hill and Conquer so many
21:37 challenges that I may be facing you remember how people make you feel not their titles not what grade they got on an exam and absolutely not whether they did the Duke edinb Gold Award the easiest way to be more attractive is to make someone feel good about themselves however that does not mean that we're going to go around giving compliments to people that we do not mean in my 5 years on social media I have been to many an influencer event and I don't want to talk down about content creators because I have met some of the most passionate people in my life at these events but I'm going to be honest I have also met the shallowest there was one event that I really distinctly remember very very
22:23 very early on I think I had maybe 1,000 subscribers on YouTube I was very much small small small small fish and someone asked me how many followers I had before they asked me my name and at these events where I felt like people may have been a little bit more shallower than the general population I encountered a lot of moments like you know the scene in me girls where she says I love your bracelet where did you get it where people were only saying nice things because they felt like they had to as humans we underestimate how easy fake is to clock and it's so obvious when other people are being fake it's also obvious when we are so please for the love of God give compliments you mean and
23:10 there's something really really healing about every single person you meet finding at least five things you admire in that person because giving compliments to others can reduce self-criticism by training our brains to see the positives when you stop judging others you stop judging yourself when you start noticing the positives in other people you remember to notice the positives in yourself which builds your self-security and internal validation ultimately making you even more attractive so the next time that you meet someone I want you to pick out at least five things that you admire about them try and be as specific as possible so that person feels seen as a unique
23:55 individual with unique opinions passions or recommendations and be sincere only say something you truly mean and if you think of five things you do not need to say all of them to that person that may make them feel a little bit uncomfortable or may make you look like a bit of a kiss ass but if appropriate and it flows into the conversation nicely try and taper in maybe one or two habit number 10 we need to talk about mastering boundaries but F how will mastering boundaries make me more attractive surely by saying no to people that is going to push them away let me explain have you ever felt like you're giving 110% to a relationship and you're getting absolutely nothing back or you've been in a friendship group where
24:41 you feel like you're the best most supportive friend when anyone else has an issue but as soon as you have an issue no one is there to help you or in work maybe you feel like you're taking on all these extra responsibilities but for no recognition it is time to set some boundaries setting personal boundaries has completely changed my life I went from being walked over in friendships to being respected and valued you may think that being easygoing and going above and beyond is making you more likable and more attractive but it is doing the complete opposite and to understand why it is sabotaging your attractiveness we need to understand value exchange boundaries
25:27 are essential for all Human Relationships when we set a boundary we establish a value exchange this keeps relationships balanced and fulfilled value exchange is the written or Unwritten contract that exists between all human relationships this might be parents and a child parents are supposed to nurture and raise a child and the child fulfills their desire to pass on their genetic material or friends friends are supposed to support one another or a boss and employee a boss pays an employee a salary and the employee carries out a job and value is unique to everyone for example you could be on the Forbes 30 under 30 you could be the CEO of Google you could be the richest person on the planet but I still
26:14 would not value you any more than my mother and we set our own price in value exchange by setting boundaries if you go above and beyond for a friend who is never there for you you lower your value in the value exchange you are saying that that person's friendship is worth more than your friendship so you are overcompensating by being more supportive to them you are saying you will give them everything just so you can call them a friend in a relationship if you are constantly the person finding time to make plans you are lowering your value by saying my time is worth less than yours in your job if you are constantly staying late and taking on extra responsibilities for no extra pay
27:02 you are saying I am worth less than my colleague who is not taking on all these extra responsibilities so I'm overcompensating by doing more for free and actioning this habit is so simple but can be extremely hard for the people pleases amongst us practice saying no evaluate the value exchange that is occurring in all your relationships I don't believe that relationships should be a scorecard where we are constantly keeping track of everything we do for someone else I truly believe in a huge part of human fulfillment in our life coming from random acts of kindness and giving of ourselves but please for the love of God keep an eye out for the
27:49 patterns that appear in relationships where you feel you are constantly being put to the bottom of someone's priorities if you consistently feel as though the value exchange is off reestablish boundaries and if saying no is absolutely terrifying to you practice with smaller nose and work up to bigger ones finally habit number 11 probably the most important habit for becoming more attractive and that is mastering the art of conversation have you ever walked away from a conversation and just felt like it didn't quite land maybe you felt like the other person was just agreeing with you to be polite but it just felt a little bit superficial or maybe on the other end of the spectrum
28:36 they just kept arguing with everything you said and it just felt exhausting here's the secret great conversations don't just happen they're crafted and when you master the art of meaningful conversation that's when you become truly magnetic I've been on both ends of the spectrum I used to be really guilty of being quite dominating in conversations and I would rush to fill every single silence because it filled me with so much anxiety but that would just result in the other party in the conversation becoming more disengaged which then resulted in me moving to the other end of the scale where I would completely withdraw because I didn't want to come across as too loud or
29:22 opinionated what has really helped me is focusing on three key elements number one pausing to truly listen to what someone else has said not just thinking about how you're going to respond in your head number two when I share my opinions I try to present them in a much more balanced way and number three I always aim to find connection with people even if we fundamentally disagree on something when I focused on these things everything completely changed I found people opened up more and I was able to make much more deeper and meaningful connections I left the conversations feeling energized rather than drained and social situations became something that I looked forward to rather than dreaded research and communication psychology shows that the
30:08 most compelling conversations are a balance between listening thoughtful sharing and mutual curiosity so here are the actionable steps you're going to take forward to completely revolutionize your conversations number one you're going to pause with purpose when I'm having a conversation with someone I literally have to count in my head one elephant two elephant three elephant after they finished speaking to stop myself from rushing in to respond in this forces me to process actually what they've said and makes the other person feel listened to I also had to learn to get comfortable with silence previously it filled me with so much anxiety and Dread and although it was extremely uncomfortable at first being comfortable
30:55 in silence and Stillness not only communicates attentiveness but it is the utmost sign of confidence number two learn to find common ground in a world that has become so unbelievably polarizing instead of focusing on differences and dominating with your perspective aim to explore shared interests or experiences ask open-ended questions that invite them to dive deeper how did you get into that or what's the story behind that choice number three balance your storytelling avoid making a conversation at monologue where you just share your experiences but don't shy away from sharing your experiences either remember the stories are the springboard for further
31:41 conversation but not the main event finally get comfortable with leading with passion share your own interests unapologetically but make room for theirs too enthusiasm is magnetic but especially when it is paired with curiosity for what the other person has to say on something so now you know how to become more attractive physically more confident and more socially magnetic but maybe you want to learn how to develop a health and fitness routine that works around a busy schedule if so you may enjoy this video that I will link here or this video below which has been specifically recommended just for you based on what you're interested in and don't forget to take a look at skin in me and use my code face skin to get your first daily doser for £44.99 and
32:29 then £24.99 ongoing I hope you have a wonderful wonderful wonderful week and I will see you in the next video
