0:01 Look buddy, you may be huge, but I'm indestructible alright, so this is not going to end-- Is that hairspray? Because there's a very specific brand I use, okay? Whoa, what's happening? I can't feel my arms and legs, whoa! Why can't I move? Ugh, what did you spray us with? Flabbergas. Makes your muscles all flabby. Do you have any back to normal gas? No, but maybe there's some down in the sewer. Pfft unlikely. Oh I see that's a clever way of saying you're going to throw me the sewer, man, this is not my day. [screaming] [coughing]
0:47 You're not going to get away with this. -I'm sorry what's your name? -Barge, the name's Barge. -Shh! -What? Now, throw him down the sewer debauchery, and bring more towels to your king. Yes your dryness. No uh, my talking towel says you should let him go. [screaming] What are we going to do now? Okay Barge's out there stealing towels and we can't do anything about it because we can't even move. Charlotte, can you come help me beat this guy? I can't do it. I'm in!
1:33 -Dude. -Huh? Before you come into work tomorrow, we need to go down the sewer and look for my car keys. Dude dude dude-- It's got a Felix the cat key chain. No dude, Schwoz is making his idea face. -He is? -Yeah. -That's great. -Yeah. -Is he making the idea noise? -Uh... [humming] He's making the noise man! I have an idea! Yeah Schwoz! If this works, then you two can control Captain Man and Kid Danger just like you control the bear and hare in the video game. Yeah, and then they can send us to find Barge and make him throw in the towel. That's good, and remember that when we get there. -Oh, something's happening. -Whoa. Oh whoa!
2:19 -Whoa. -Whoa this is so cool! -Whoa. -Whoa. Now, last time, we didn't have a plan. That's right kid, we didn't but this time we do have a plan. Jasper, dock now! This is not the plan! Sorry to barge in. I thought I flabbergassed you. How are you two moving? You don't need to worry about that to debargery. Yeah, but what you do need to worry about is... our fists! You're in the door, turn me around. I'm trying! That's a kick, what are you kicking? [screaming]
3:07 You are on the floor, get up! Stop yelling at me! He's to your right. It won't let me go. Charlotte, can you take control for me? Your other right! Captain I need your help! Why are we punching a washing machine? I was just seeing if there's coins inside. This is not a video game! Ah well look at that. I'm doing stuff it's just not working! Captain Man I need help! Well what should I do? Grab the can of flabbergas and spray Barge in the face!
3:52 Pick it up. Good good yes yes, pick it up. -Just pick up the can. -I'm trying! For one, it's hard! -Starting to black out here! -It's right there, pick it up! Stop yelling at me! Boy, if you can just pick up this can and a spray Barge, you will be a superhero. [gasps] Got it! Great, now get over here and spray Barge in the face! -Eat this! -Nooo!
4:43 Good job, buddy. Victory dance. I'm a superhero! [screaming] Captain Man! Come on man, we got to go find my sister. Well, how are we supposed to do that? We don't know where this monster went, we have no way of knowing. Hey guys, check this out. Not now, Charlotte. I don't know where to begin to look. Nobody does. Remember earlier when we figured out
5:30 if you plot the locations where all those kids disappeared on the map, that it creates an X? Well, I saw a different shape, but go on. Yeah so? Jumpin stuff is also on the X. And check out what's right in the middle of the X. A place called Evil Science Corp. [screaming] Hello again friends. Hi Captain! Is everyone having fun? Yeah! Great! What the butt is going on? What's your name little girl? Uh Piper. Hello Piper, and welcome to my world.
6:17 [screaming] Hear that? We got to go and save them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you do, go, go, go, go, go ahead. Wait what? You heard the scientist. Only one person can go through the portal. We have never said that. All right, fine. We go in, we kick some monster butt, we get the kids and we get out of there. Sounds good. [grunting] Get the kids! -Would you like a hug? -Oh, you foul beast! [screaming] Get outta here! [screaming]
7:02 I'll get you out here, come on! Let's go pokey, head back! Get over here! [screaming] It's just jelly from the donuts. Spare me your lies, you vile creature! -Captain Man let's go! -Wait! Wait for what? We have to close this portal permanently. How are we going to do that? With this! Jeez, an explosive seismic charge. All right, Just make it quick. [grunting]
7:48 If I could just explain myself-- Silence demon! [groaning] -Nice work. -Thanks. What is this stuff? Some kind of inter-dimensional goo. Captain Man, Kid Danger. Oh, no need to thank us. Thank you? That monster was nice. His name was Kevin, he was just lonely and wanted some friends.
8:35 Yeah, we could have left at any time. We wanted to stay. -Uh... -That is new information. Hey, how long did you set the timer for the seismic charge? Uh...
9:22 That's a solid wall dude. You're welcome. Happy Halloween everybody. Hold it right there. Yeah freeze-- -Ah, come on! -Ah, it's Jeff! -I see that. -Ah he's so stupid! I know that. Uh, you guys got a spare hammer? Sledge, if possible. Why would we have a hammer? And if we had one why would we give it to you, Jeff? And why would you try to rob a blood bank? Because banks have money. Look at the size of this safe here. That's not a safe, that's a refrigerator, and it opens... by pulling the lever.
10:13 But the sign, it says, bank, and banks, -they have money-- -They do- [yelling] I can't do it, I can't do it, not today! -Okay. -I can't deal with it! -Shh. -I can't deal with it man. It's alright. Sorry Man, I just... really want to be at my birthday party right now. Hey hey. You never have to apologize for zapping Jeff. Now, go on. Get out of your birthday, boy. -Really? -Yeah, I got this. -I can leave? -Yeah, go on. Oh thanks, man. My dad went to that new Mexican cake shop. One of those cakes? Yeah he got the last diez leches ice cream cake.
11:00 ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪ Emergency call, we gotta go! Emergency, what do you mean? [siren wailing] That's a good question Henry's mom, uh... Um, it's an emergency... Reminder, emergency reminder for the birthday surprise that I'm going to do for Henry! The fireworks? Yeah. Hey, what's up Schwoz. I just got an emergency call about the blood bank. Yeah what about the blood bank? Did you guys forget something? Like maybe to take Jeff to jail? -Boom! -Kablow! He's robbing that same blood bank again
11:45 and you need to go stop him! [sighing] Okay, Henry, you go the blood bank and deal with Jeff. -Yeah. -I'll stay here. Come on! Where are the cops? I wanna eat my cake! [phone ringing] Jeez. [phone ringing] Hey Mom, What's up? Hey Henry, there's a lot of people here,
12:31 and they want to eat your cake, and Jasper thinks it's going to melt. I can't keep it cool much longer. I'm sorry Henry, I tried. The thing is we can't eat the cake until we light a candle and sing Happy Birthday to you. Oh good. So we're going to sing over the phone right now. What? No, no, no, don't, don't, do that. Everyone get together! -No, stop! -Hey Danger. Sorry we're late. [screaming] ♪ Happy Birthday to you! ♪ Kid Danger, you okay in there? Can you sing faster please? ♪ Happy Birthday to you! ♪ Thanks, love you, bye, enjoy my cake.
13:17 Oh wait, you have to make a wish and blow out your candle. [blowing] -You didn't quite get it! -Got it, bye Henry! Oh my God. Hey, I'm back. Hello? Anybody here?
14:05 What's up? Mmm! Schwoz, what's up? Hold for Ray. Ray? -Wuzzah!?! -Wuzzah!?! This is a [INDISCERNIBLE]! What? You said the Man Camp Computer was unhackable? I thought it was, but someone did it. And now every computer in the Man Cave has the same message on the screen. What's it say? It just says game on, over and over! Game on? What does that mean? I don't know. [phone ringing]
14:53 Uh, did you guys get this text? Yeah, hello Swellview. I will pay one million dollars-- To whomever can bring me the world's most poisonous cactus. -Sincerely, RT. -Who's RT? Randy Tinklemuffin. Who? Nah, can't be Randy Ticklemuffin, he's in jail. I know, I thought of that. -Wait, is that really his name? -Yeah. -What? -Yeah, it's short for Randolph. That's crazy. Uh guys, we have bigger problems. Uh dude? Bro?
15:38 Now, I know that you all want that million dollars some mystery person promised for that cactus. [indistinct chatter] Hey hey hey hey hey hey! -Kid Danger's right. -Thank you. This cactus is worth a lot of money, now let's get it! [cheering] [screaming] Daddy wanted the big piece of chicken tonight! What's everyone waiting for? He's got a zappy thingy! Yeah, but there's a lot of us, and only one of him.
16:24 Wrong, there's two of him! [INDISCERNIBLE], shut up! Come at me bro! Too many people here, we can't transform without a place to hide! Go like this. What are we doing here? I'm gonna stand by this, ah, okay! Okay, I'll go help Henry, you take this zapper. [screaming]
17:11 Look there's only one of him again! Wrong, there's two of him. Us. Shut up. Dude, that cactus is worth a million bucks! You're standing between me and buying a moose. Now come on, they can't stop all of us. Mama wants a moose! [yelling] [zapping] Where did you get those?
17:58 [yelling] -Ow! -Sorry! [panting] Jasper, you were amazing! And I'd hug you but those needles would puncture my suit. I get it. Good work with that laser. Thanks, I really enjoy zapping people. And we saved the world's most poisonous cactus is gone. What's it say? Thanks for the cactus, game on.
18:46 Oh. Oh no, this is bad. This is very, very bad. Game on, Captain Man. Okay Rick. [laughing] You've been laughing for a really long time now, that's enough. You just look so ridiculous. Well, I wasn't expecting to be frozen by a man I had just saved. -Yeah, that's the plasma gas. -Huh? Plasma gas. It's made from a chemical and a very poisonous cactus I stole from the Swellview cactus convention. Oh that was you! -Uh huh. -Well, good for you.
19:31 Can we just skip to the part where I punch you -and drag you to jail? -That's not going to happen. Yeah it is Rick. I've fought a lot of bad guys, pal, and I always win. I'm not your average bad guy, Ray Manchester, Why would the guy who founded Tweetflash wanted to destroy Captain Man and Kid Danger? Maybe he doesn't want to destroy them. [gasps] He wants to steal Ray and Henry's powers! Well, how is he going to do that? [sighing] Oh boy, this is complicated. So I'm going to explain it to you in my American accent. Okay. But I can only do it for so long before I pass out. Then hurry!
20:17 Ray and Henry both got sprayed with flabbergas. Now you can counteract its effects, but flabbergas never actually leaves your body. And on Halloween, when Ray and Henry went through the portal at the Evil Science Corp., they were covered with intradimensional bio residue that takes years to wash off your skin. And finally, the diez leches cake. the tenth and final leche is what brings it all together. That's a moray. The moray molecule binds itself to the chemical that makes you indestructible. This device locates a moray and pulls it from your body along with your powers. Look, Kid Danger is going to show up any second now. and punch a million holes in your face.
21:04 Oh really? I highly doubt-- [screaming] [grunting] Kid, I literally just said you were about to show up. -Oh yeah? -Yes! -Just now? -Yeah, were you listening? Just rolled up, saw the roof, and dropped right in! Nice! So who'd I land on? Good guy, bad guy? Bad guy's what we're talkin' here, Rick Twittler, tried to steal my power. Not cool. Rick Twittler. Ow! -What happened to the beekeeper? -Lasered. Why are you squatting? -Trapped. -Zoinks! Wait, so why would this dude kidnap himself and then try to steal your superpower? I dunno I wasn't listening. I was going to take your superpower
21:50 and put it in this! A lava lamp? -No! -Oh. It's a computer virus. I'm going to destroy the internet... forever. Not cool Rick Twittler! Ow! Alright kid get me out of this thing, my glutes are barking! All right, all right. [groaning] -I don't see an off button dude. -Just laser it! I wouldn't do that. Well now I'm definitely gonna do it. Kid you made it worse! I told you not to do that. -Shut up, Rick Twittler. -Hey, wait, wait, wait!
22:37 Let me explain something to you. What? I planned to steal both your superpowers. -Yeah? -So I built two traps. [groaning] Not cool Rick Twittler. [grunting] Say goodbye to your superpower Kid Danger. No! -Okay. -No wait wait wait.
23:39 See ya in the dark Ages. [grunting] Hey there. It's me, Rick Twittler. -How you doing? -How am I doing? We're coming for you Twittler! Guys, it's a video message, he cannot hear you. -I knew that. -Obviously. -I'm making sure that-- -Let's move on. Now, I know you're upset with me for stealing Kid Danger's superpower and putting it in this, but I think you have other things to worry about. Like oh, well, I don't know, protecting Kid Danger's family from the thugs I just sent to his house? Or should I say, the thugs I just sent to Henry Heart's house?
24:26 How do you know my real name? --Is what I would say if he could hear me. Which I know he cannot. So... out, everybody out! Why is no one moving? Why do we have to leave B? -Uh be-- -'Cause-- -You-- -Are-- -In-- -Danger! Of what? Of missing out on free weekend at the Hotel Steins! -Yes! -What? My boss is paying for a deluxe suite! -Deluxe! -Garden view. -Oh great. -Awesome. -It's still good. -Sure is. OK, let's go, fantastic, come on.
25:12 To the Steins! All right all right. What are you guys doing? Why aren't you leaving? We have to pack. There's no time, we have to leave right now! Uh, packing is a great idea, go pack. Okay. Hey, so how can you get my powers back? Yeah yeah, you get in the box, I press the button, your powers will transfer from the bee back your body. Awesome. Quick, get in the box come on, get the box. Henry, can you hear us? Loud and clear, let's do this. Okay. I'm going to release the bee into your box. Then you have to make it very angry so it will sting you. What? Yeah, I have to flip a speech to activate
25:59 the ribonucleic gas at the precise moment it stings you, which will make the bee sting hurt even more! You never said any of this before I got in the box! Yeah, I know! -Release the bee. -No no, hang on a sec! Why does the bee have to sting me? [INDISCERNIBLE] I really do not like bees. Oh, this is really hard to hear. Can you mute him? ¡A mi no me gusta esto chicos! ¡Odio los abejas! ¡Es que me piquen! [INDISCERNIBLE] Sorry, that was the Spanish button. [screaming]
26:56 -Is it stinging him? -It's thinking about it. There we go. Did it work? Do you feel fast? -Oh, I don't know. -Testing rock! ¡Ay! [cheering] -What's up, man cave? -Twittler!
27:46 Did you just try to shoot me through a computer screen? -No! -Yes, you did, dude. -We all saw you-- -What do you want Twittler? Gonna send more goons for me and Henry take out? All those goons were just a diversion. I needed time to carry out my real plan. Oh yeah, which is what, being a jerk? Because if so, mission accomplished. Yeah, good one. No, the plan I told you guys about at the honey factory. -I wasn't really listening. -I remember zapping you a lot. Remember this? The living computer virus I invented? -No! -You monster! You gotta stop doing that, dude.
28:34 Uh Rick? Hello? Still in there, buddy? I am virus. I took Rick's body. I finished the antiviral sir. Sick dude, I don't have time to come up with a rhyme. That rhyme was accidental. Now plant this and go save Swellview! Oh wait wait wait! What? You have to smash this vial of anti virus directly onto Rick Twittler's computer virus. It has to touch the original virus itself. Got it.
29:20 -Oh wait wait wait! -What what? The anti virus can cancel out your superpower forever. So don't get any of it on you! Got it. Well, I guess I'll just have to mosey on back to the man cave and let him know I was defeated by surprise punch! -Captain Man. -Kid. -What is this thing? -Uh, funny story. So the computer virus took over Rick's body, and now it's all angry and wants to destroy humanity. Try to surprise punch him? Yeah, I tried to surprise punch him. But it's got your super fast reflexes now. Well, that is a sweet superpower. Well not as good as being indestructible.
31:01 This is not good. The anti virus can cancel out your superpower forever! So don't get any of it on you! It's me, Schwoz, from [INDISCERNIBLE] We will spread [INDISCERNIBLE] then to the entire world. Time to save the world!
32:13 I did it. Yawn. [cheering] More! I am so sorry about him. Ray and Henry want to send that angry knight back to a land called Astoria. So I'm scanning around different dimensions, listening for anyone who says the word Astoria. -Hmm, any luck? -Nah. Just a bunch of people wondering if you and Henry are dating. What? We're not dating. Oh, oh, that's not what I hear!
33:01 I am the rightful ruler of Astoria, but my throne was taken away from me. -Aww, that's not good. -Buddy! I almost got it back, but I was defeated by a squad of knights. And a wizard banished me from my realm and suddenly I was, well, here. [whispering] I get it, he's not a bad guy, he's just scared. He's just a lost little puppy from another dimension. And with a sword and sick face Tattoos. Come on, pal. We'll get you home, little fella. I'm bigger than you are. [laughing] Sure you are, little buddy. You know, in a way, I'm kinda the king of this town. Oh god.
33:47 I found it! I found someone saying Astoria! I found someone saying Astoria! I'm talking to myself. Astoria, Astoria! If you say it over and over again, is it Astoria or just how you hear it? Or is it the same with the word stromboli? -You eat stromboli. -Stromboli? -Stromboli. -That sounds weird. -Stromboli. -Stromb-oh my God where are we? -Welcome to the Man Cave! -Oh it's an evil troll! I am Schwoz. An evil troll named Schwoz! Okay, why don't you just relax and let me explain-- oh good, you have batons! -Arch! -Riker! -Ciara! -Schwoz? -Hi. -And Captain Man as the hero.
34:34 Hang on a second. You know these guys? Yes, they took my kingdom from me. What? How dare you do that to this sweet man? -Sweet? -You're evil.? Oh yeah, wait aren't you guys evil? No, we're good guys, why would you think we're evil? [laughing] I see what happened here. Classic misunderstanding. So, I'm gonna need those weapons back real quick. Pretty firm grip dude. Tell you what, count of three, you're going to let go and give those-- [groaning]
35:21 Get ready to suffer. How, you're gonna finish telling me that boring story about your mom and that clown she was dating? It was my aunt! And I'm not sure if they were dating! What are you doing? We should help him. Nah, he insulted Captain Man's story. Now it's personal. Wait wait wait. Did you say time out? I don't need one myself, but if you wanna take five I'll let you. [screaming] Wait wait I don't need help! [yelling]
36:23 Schwoz, hit the elevator button! Oh my God, get out of the elevator! [yelling] [groaning] Wait, aren't you taking this guy with you? Uh heh heh, no way. What should we do with him? -Don't care. -Anything! -Your dimension is weird. -Good luck with the band! Hey, I never got your number. Uh four? The number does not help me! -Still got it, though. -Yeah. In non-funny news, witnesses say that Kid Danger, while teaming up with Captain Man to fight super criminal Dr. Karate,
37:09 broke his arm this evening. [gasps] You broke your arm? That's what I tried to tell you guys. Dr. Karate karate chopped my arm. I bet you wish you still had your superpower. Yeah, because if you still had your super fast reflexes, you could just moved out of the way. All right, I got it! -Guys, this is really bad. -It's just a broken arm. You cut it off, it will grow right back. -What? No! -That's not how arms work. Oh right, that's a starfish. Listen, what's bad is that if everyone in Swellview knows that Kid Danger broke his arm tonight. then Henry Hearts shows up tomorrow morning with a broken arm, then any idiot can put two and two together, and figure out that Henry is Kid danger. I don't know, I don't think anyone's going to put any--
37:55 [gasps] I just put two and two together. -Oh really? -Yes. People should look out for a boy about Kid Danger's height, about Kid Danger's age, who has a newly broken arm, because that boy -would be... -Keep going Mary. -The playground pooper? -Oh, so close! No Mary, that boy would be Kid Danger. [yelling] See? Okay, we have a really big problem on our hands. I agree, how are we going to get Jasper to stop pooping in playgrounds? It's not me! Ah, oh, good moral, fair youth!
38:43 Good morrow to you-- I can't do this dude, what's going on? Okay, here's the plan. You go stand by the stairs, we fling a basketball at you, it hits you in your fake arm and you pretend like it's broken. [laughing] It'll be a lot funnier than Charlotte's idea. Okay, but what if the basketball doesn't-- And break! We are members of the Swellview flinging society! But sir, we don't fling many things without trebouchet. What the heck is going on here? We be the Swellview flinging society. We are flingers, we fling! Go do your flinging somewhere else! These kids should be in classrooms pretending
39:30 to listen to their teachers. Look, you wanna play basketball at a wall? Of course I do. Get out of my way. Allow me to explain it Relax Leonardo. I've used a trebouchet in a school before. -Okay, but let me aim-- -Fire in the hall! Ah! I was never here! -You okay? -No no no! [gasps] [screaming] Charlotte just pulled off my real arm. Next time you see me, I'll probably have a cast.
40:15 This arm is fake! This is a fake arm! Why were you wearing a fake arm? What are you hiding? Piper, I wasn't hiding anything! What is wrong with you? [gasps] You've got a broken arm! [gasps] Oh my God Henry Heart is Kid Danger! [indistinct chatter] So much better than my plan. Okay, I know that there's a lot of speculation that due to my broken arm, I am Kid Danger. [screaming] But the fact of the matter is, I'm not... Kid Danger.
41:04 Because... I-- Well... I am the playground pooper. [gasps] So you're Kid Danger and the playground pooper? What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, just... the playground pooper. Okay, this is funny. Where'd you get the bird? He's our class parrot Otto. It's my turn to take care of him for the weekend. Aww, well hey there, buddy. Now my name's ah! Yeah don't touch him, he doesn't like that. -Don't touch him. -So he talks and stuff? Nah, he just picks up phrases and repeats things sometimes.
41:52 Otto, say sweet stache Jasper. Sweet stache Jasper! [laughing] I got to go grab his bird seed from my car. -I have a driver's license. -Sent by mistake. Established. Come on, let's get back to studying history. What? How can we study our past When we got a talking parrot and a mustache in our present. You know, there could be a mustache in your future. -You think I should grow one? -Yes! You could have a mustache as Henry Heart and Kid Danger? Dude, if I had a mustache, then I would be Man Danger. -I just got chills. -What? -Hey, be quiet. -Why? Because I don't want Piper to walk in here and hear you say that Henry's Kid Danger. Henry is Kid Danger. Henry is Kid Danger. Henry is Kid Danger.
42:40 See, that's what I didn't want to happen. What you need is a bird clone. -What? -Can you clone a bird? -Yep. -You can clone a bird. -You need a feather? -Yep. -Just needs a feather -We can get a feather. Great, you get us a feather, Schwoz clones a new bird that don't know nothing from nothing, we kill the old one, swap in the new one, bada-boom bada-bing Me Schwoz and Jasper go to the batting cages! -Yes! -Eh, let's not kill the old one. Potato potato, just bring us a feather. -Potato, potato. -Potato potato potato potato! Just bring us a feather you spicy tomato. [squawking]
43:26 Oh wow! He looks exactly like Otto! Yeah, that's the point sweetheart. Hey, it's exactly the same in every way? Mmm, pretty much, he just hasn't learned to say Henry is Kid Danger. Henry is Kid Danger. Henry is Kid Danger. Nice going sweetheart! Hey, what's the hold up? The bird sniffing snake is here. Yes, we had a little problem with the first clone. But the new clone is done, and we're leaving right now. Wait, what was the problem with the first clone? Schwoz said Henry is Kid Danger in front of it-- Henry is Kid Danger. Henry is Kid Danger. -We'll call you back. -No no no don't-- I said, anybody here call for a bird sniffin' snake!
44:16 [cheering] [squawking] Henry is Kid Danger. [screaming] Henry is Kid Danger. Henry is Kid Danger. [yelling]
45:05 Hurry up Schwoz, Henry's freaking out. I told you, when you hurry the cloning process is when you get a lot of problems. We are out of time! Just give me something anything that looks like a bird! -Give him a bird Schwoz! -Fine! He's not ready yet, but here is your bird. [screaming] Eh, I can sell it. I can tell people hero coming through, make a hall, make it wide! Look, it's Captain Man! And he's got the real Otto! Did you find Otto? Sure did little girl. Here you go. What happened to him?
45:50 It looks like he's been microwaved or something. Well, you know, the sickos and bird napped him did not treat him very well. But when I found those people, I beat them up! [cheering] I really did a number on 'em! Otto's back people! [cheering] Otto! Otto! Otto! Otto! Otto! Captain Man! Captain Man! Captain Man! Captain Man! -Captain Man! Captain Man! -There you go. -Told ya I could see it. -Yep. Captain Man! Captain Man! Nice to meet you, sir. I'm Billy Billski. -Nice to meet you, Billy-- -Hey! Did you just say Billski? That's right, I'm Britney Billski,
46:38 three time Miss Swellview face puncher. Yeah I don't want to touch that either. You don't happen to have a son named Mitch, do you? No stinking way! Well if it ain't Henry J Fart! -Mitch Billski. -Mommy, muah! J? Henry's middle name is Prudence. Ha! Prudence? [laughing] So it's Henry P Fart? [laughing] Hey, I brought a gift for Billy's little filly. -What? -The future Mrs. Billski. -Nope. -The sister to this mister! Why don't you open the box, Jeff?
47:28 What is it? It's a Venetian ham, from Venetia. Wait, isn't Venetian ham like crazy expensive? Yeah and weren't a bunch of them stolen this morning? I don't know nothing about no stolen hams. Okay, then how did you pay for this one? Well, I figured Mom is going to make bank when she sues the lawn mower company for cutting off her toe. So why not spend that money now, on ham! Oh, he's the smart one! You know that truck full of Venetian hams that got stolen? Yeah, the fancy hams with the exploding blue dye? -I know who stole them. -Who? The dumbest criminal in Swellview. -Jeff? -Jeff! -Yeff? -No Jeff! How do you know it was Jeff? Because he's at my house right now And he just showed up with an expensive Venetian ham!
48:14 Why is Jeff at your house? His brother is dating my sister. Piper is dating Jeff's brother? -Yes, Jeff is a Billski. -Piper's dating a Billski? Yes, Mitch Billski is at my house, and so is his mom. And so is his older brother, Jeff. -Jeff? -Yes! You keep him there, Henry. You keep him there. No no dude, I don't want to ruin this dinner party for my sister. Yeah, we you know who else is having a dinner party right now? -Don't say justice. -Justice. You got five minutes to come out with the stolen goods. or we're coming in. Alright, come on, that's it, Jeff, let's go. No, I didn't steal the ham, I swear look look look! What's that, a receipt for ham? No, it's a speech I wrote because I knew you would all accuse me of stealing the ham. If you have a receipt, you can just show it-- Ahem! A single drop of water over time can cut through a boulder.
49:03 Oh my God. Where you going with this one bro? I'll skip ahead, and that's when I realized that the greatest nacho ball of all was the one inside me, because I just ate it. -And so-- -This is not a speech. It's just a drawing of a sun with sunglasses on, saying stay cool. [laughing] Fine, you got me okay? I was making it up. What are you, my arch rival Sherlock Holmes? If you bought the ham, where's the receipt? I don't have it, but even if I did, it wouldn't matter. No one ever believes us Billskis, they think we're just a bunch of liars and thieves -and bullies and criminals. -Yeah. And we are. Except for you, Billy. You're the best Billski ever, Billy Billski. And you've got this great girlfriend with this great family, and I just wanted
49:50 to do something nice for my younger brother because I think you're great, Billy. Okay, new plan though, all right? You go upstairs, you pop a gumball, you transform, you sneak outside and you say Jeff is innocent. -Got it. -Okay. What you got there crying Gosling? -That's not my name. -Is that gum? No. Yes it is, I have fish breath and I want some! Hey hey hey! Get off my gum! Billski! [laughing] [grunting] What are you saying? We're going to eat the evidence. You're right, they can't arrest your brother if there's no evidence. But that's ten pounds of cured ham! We can't eat all of that. We've got to try!
50:35 [grunting] Billy's right, everyone start dumping ham in your mouth! [burping]
51:26 Oh. You gotta save me. I know. That's why I'm here. And why I lift weights. Shut up, Lion. I'm in the middle of something here. Oh, thank God. It was just a dream. -What was just a dream? -Lips! You're dream- you're dreaming about lips? Uh, uh, giant lips and not yours. They were chasing me down a hall of popcorn. You weren't there. Leave me alone.
52:11 Okay, but you got a phone on your face. That's where I put my phone when I'm sleeping. God. Where are you going? Uh, I gotta make out of here. Uh, I mean get out of here. [chuckles] I'll kiss ya later. - Hmm? - I mean I'll catch ya later. Where is this elevator? [dinging] - Hi ya, Charlotte. - Ah! I kinda have this personal issue, and I really need to talk to a girl, but it turns out that everyone in my life is a boy. I'm in your life, Charlotte. Am I a boy? - No, that's why I'm here. - Well, I made apples. Talk. [sighing] I keep having this dream and it's really freaking me out. That's funny, I keep having a dream that someone
52:57 would give me a password and I wouldn't have to hurt him. [groaning] Well, my dream is more like a dream where I almost kiss a good friend of mine... on the lips. Oh, my God gross. Was it my brother? No no no no no no no. Well, then it has to be Jasper because you don't have - any other friends. - Rude. But accurate. [sighing] Okay, fine. Let's say it was Jasper. Weird crush, but okay. Yeah, and I can't fall asleep without having this dream. I also feel really weird whenever I'm around... Jasper. Well, you'd better be careful. My friend Marla had a dream that our friend Dickie almost kissed her at Nacho Ball. Yeah?
53:42 And then the next week they went to Nacho Ball and boom Dickie kissed her for real... on the lips. [gasping] It's just those dreams made me really uncomfortable because I don't see you that way at all. Neither do I. Reminder lion. [growling] But then why do I keep having that dream?! I don't know, man, dreams are weird, okay? can we please have this conversation after I save you from the- Hey, look right over there. It's a dang lion. [growling] Promise you won't try to kiss me? Yes, I prom- Look, I'll look away. Okay, here, take my hand, please. All right, I'm not even looking. See? I'm looking away. Alright, is this you? - Yeah. - Alright. Alright. Got it. [screaming] Okay. Okay. Alright.
54:28 Okay. See, you're fine, and we're definitely not kissing. Hey, I'm sorry things got weird between us -because of my dream. -Ah, don't worry about it. I'm just glad everything's normal again. And you didn't get eaten by a lion. I know, right? - How about a little bet? - Okay. If I miss this putt, you and I kiss. -Uh what? -Oops. Um, what- what is happening? Quiet, Henry, I'm working on something here. - Lips. - What? [gasping] -Did you just say, "Lips"? -What? No.
55:15 I don't even know what that word means. Uh, there's a phone on your face. Hmm? Oh, yeah, that's because I was, uh, expecting a call. So I put it there on my face, so. Where is this elevator? [dinging] [music playing] [music playing] [music playing] Henry.
56:12 [screaming] Give me back my friend! Beating on it won't help. What are we supposed to do? Get me out of this thing! We don't know how! We're freaking out! Okay, okay, okay, okay. We should-- We should calm down and deal with the fact that Charlotte just got sucked into into a black hole thingy and is in that vacuum, and I don't know what else to do, let's just beat it. [screaming] Seriously, [inaudible], this isn't helping. Henry, what is going on? Um, see I was, I was-- I was vacuuming with this vacuum. That's not our vacuum. Yeah, where did that come from? -Yeah it came from the-- -And why is it talking? -Because it's um.. -Hello? Oh my God! That vacuum is haunted.
57:02 -Yes, so haunted. -There's a ghost inside that vacuum. I'm just as surprised as you are. So surprised. -Ghosts aren't real. -What's going on out there? -Go away! -Okay ghost, Henry's mom, Dad and sister just found out that you're here... in a vacuum. Being a ghost. Seriously? Uh yes. They seriously know that you're a ghost inside a vacuum. Because that's the only possible explanation for what is going on here. [eerily] Ooo, I'm a ghost! Ah! Dude, they're too close to the super sucker. How am I supposed to get this thing on the vacuum
57:48 without anybody seeing me? I have a plan to make them close their eyes. - Don't take your pants off. - Okay, I have another plan to make 'em close their eyes. Everybody close your eyes! - What are you doing? - Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Listen to me but don't look at me cause your eyes -should be closed. -What are you talking about? Um- No, Jasper's right. Everybody close your eyes! The ghost is about ready to come out. Which one: William Shakespeare, Jamie the cowgirl, the Japanese ghost that could only say konichiwa? Yeah, I thought she'd be able to say more than that. Just everybody close your eyes! I don't want to close my eyes. I wanna see the ghost come out! If you don't close your eyes, the ghost will steal your soul.
58:34 No way. [Charlotte] Yes way. I will steal your soul. Now, just close your dang eyes, Piper! It knows my name. [Charlotte] I also know where you live. Now close your dang eyes. Okay. Now, uh, everybody keep your eyes shut until I tell ya to open 'em. That's right keep 'em closed. [shrieking] What was that? [shrieking] Uh, it's the ghost. Um, bring it out now! Everybody keep your eyes closed till I tell ya to open 'em. [screaming] [screaming] Don't open your eyes!
59:21 [screaming] Yes. [screaming] Don't open your eyes. There could still be more ghosts in there. [screaming] - Is it over? - Are the ghosts gone? What happened to my phone? Those are all great questions.
1:00:10 Uh, but I'm actually late for my next ghost... thingy, so, this house... is clean. -You guys, Bigfoot is real. -Real handsome. [laughing] Just kidding. Just kidding. It's nice to meet you. - So, uh, this- - Oh, oh, I know this guy. Henry Hart, aka Kid Danger. "Feels good." [laughing] Bigfoot knows my thing. Of course I do. Schwoz talks about you guys all the time. -What? -Yeah, you must be Charlotte. Schwoz tells me you're even smarter than he is. What? It's true, though. [laughing]
1:00:55 -Oh. Jasper. -Yeah. - J Dog. - Bigfoot. [laughing] How's that girl with all the allergies? Ah, she ghosted me. Ah, you know. I keep texting her, but she never responds. You should probably stop. [laughing] [indistinct chatter] [clearing throat] And, uh, last, but certainly not least. Hey hey. [laughing] There he is. -Here I am. [laughing] -This guy! Yeah. You must be... uh, Henry's dad. Henry's dad? Are you- Are you kidding me? Are you, uh, Jasper's dad?
1:01:41 I'm- I'm- I'm Ray aka Captain Man. Oh. Schwoz never mentioned you. Are you new to the Schwoz cave? The Schwoz cave?! So what's the plan? We're gonna trap that jerkbag hunter. -Yeah, Bigfoot likey. [chuckles] -Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, as soon as we spring the trap, Captain Man and I will pop out, hit him with the memory wiper, and he won't even remember that you're Bigfoot. [chuckles] Solid plan. - Yeah. - How does this trap work? Great question, Foot. You're going to stand right over there. And when the hunter sees you, he's going to be like "Do do do do do. There's Bigfoot." Yeah, yeah. And then he's going to walk over and stand right here, this spot. Right here?
1:02:27 Right where we're standing right now. Yeah, and then Schwoz will hit a button and he'll spring the trap. - This trap right here?? - The same. The one we're standing over right now. Where is this button that springs the trap - we're standing on right now? - Another great question, Foot. It is right... - there. - Hey, there, fella. Would you mind stepping over here to-- Whoo! Okay, we need a new plan. - Scream for help? - Scream for help. [screaming] Behold... Bigfoot.
1:03:16 [groaning] Uh... Hi, everybody. People of Swellview. Trent, Mary, how's it going? So where's Bigfoot? He's there, he's right there. Look! -Who, Eddie? - This is just our friend Eddie. Hi. I'm Eddie. Yeah, and, uh, Eddie here, he- he likes to wear hair shorts. - Which are a real thing. - Mm-hmm. Whoa! I never heard of no hair shorts. Well, uh, I have. And, uh, you know what? I say... hair shorts... are the coolest.
1:04:03 - Not bad. - Okay? Did you hear? Kid Danger says hair shorts are the coolest. Yeah, and he is an influencer, so hair shorts have to be cool. I- I mean, those are the rules. Come on, guys. Let's go get some hair shorts. ♪ Henry You've gotta get over here ♪ ♪ Why are you singing? Why am I singing? ♪ ♪ Just brush your teeth And get over here ♪ ♪ Can you smell my breath Through the phone? ♪ ♪ What? No, listen ♪ ♪ Someone put a musical curse On this town ♪ -Really? -Really! ♪ Has it infected Everybody else? ♪ ♪ Go downstairs and See for yourself ♪ ♪ Something's going on ♪
1:04:49 ♪ There's a musical curse Over Swellview ♪ ♪ I'm stuck in a song ♪ ♪ There's a musical curse Over Swellview ♪ ♪ We interrupt this program For me ♪ ♪ Citizens of Swellview It is I, Frankini the Grand ♪ ♪ In case you didn't know this♪ ♪ There's a musical curse O'er the land ♪ ♪ My bad or good ♪ ♪ 'Cause this is the way That it should be ♪ ♪ I have control Of all of your speakers ♪ ♪ I'm blasting A special low-frequency ♪ ♪ And now Swellview is perfect♪ ♪ Musically extra perfect Just like me ♪
1:05:36 ♪ Tata for now ♪ Frankini? Well, no need to be star-struck, even though the star is here. Well, I just came by to see how much everyone is loving the musical gift that I've graciously given to Swellview. So, uh... I'll sing for the group. ♪ We hate it, we hate it, We hate your stupid curse ♪ ♪ We're sick of all the singing And think you're the worst ♪ ♪ Listen, Frankini ♪ ♪ We've all had a wonderful Magical sing songy day ♪ - Not. - That's right, Kid Danger. I was being sarcastic. ♪ My sidekick and I Will decide to not fight you ♪
1:06:21 ♪ If you make This curse go away ♪ - Hot. - Well... ♪ You've stated your case And I'll swear to your face ♪ ♪ You'll stop singing At eight on the dot ♪ - Oh, great. - Not! [gasping] Then you'll be fought! [gasping] ♪ The heroes and the villain Couldn't strike a deal ♪ ♪ So they are squaring off To fight, like, for real ♪ ♪ His arm is drawing back ♪ ♪ Here comes the punch attack One two three ♪ Oh... [chuckles] I say... -Does this happen often? -I think you know it doesn't! I got this. Face kick! [music playing] [laughing] ♪ Sorry boys But you don't have a chance ♪
1:07:09 ♪ The only fights in musicals are fights through dance ♪ ♪ They can not hurt Frankini 'Cause- ♪ We got it! We got it! ♪ Sorry ♪ Hey, everybody. You may have noticed by now that I am not in the steam shower. [music playing] You may have also noticed that I'm not singing and there is no music playing in the- [music playing] [shattering] And there is no music playing in the background. The reason I am not singing is because... I have left Swellview. [gasping] Now I know what you're thinking. "Ooh, Ray's just running away because he's ashamed of what happened yesterday at the Swellview summer market" Yeah, that's exactly what we think. That's not why I left. I'm not ashamed. I left Swellview because... I can't punch or kick my way out of this problem.
1:07:55 You saw what happened yesterday at the Swellview summer market. - I'm ashamed. - Yeah, we know you're ashamed. So, I'm sorry, but I can never return to Swellview. Believe me, this is a lot harder for me than it is for-- Ooh, my breakfast is here. Got to go. Click. ♪ What are we going to do? ♪ ♪ I heard a little rumor Captain Man has left the city ♪ ♪ His timing is a mess I mean it really is a pity ♪ ♪ See I challenged him To fight with me ♪ ♪ By song to end the curse And now he's skipping town ♪ ♪ So flaky, the worst Canceling on me you see ♪ ♪ For that, I will not settle ♪ ♪ So Captain Man If you don't show tonight ♪ ♪ I'll ch-an-ge the curse ♪
1:08:43 ♪ To th-ra-sh ♪ ♪ Me-tal ♪ ♪ This is the worst! This is the worst! ♪ ♪ Why does anyone Like this music? ♪ [groaning] - Oh, my gosh. - Oh, thank God. That was fun. ♪ Our throats are very sore ♪ So don't make me do that, Captain Man. See you at eight. Your burger's getting cold. I like you, Hazel. I can tell that you and I are going to be friends.
1:09:30 Hazel and Ray. Hazel Danger. Yeah, I definitely live here now. Quick question. Why is there gas coming out of my burger? Remember when The Toddler invaded the Man Cave? Follow up question. How do you know about that? That's the same kind of smoke he used to make us go to sleep. - Were you there? - I sure was. Henry? [groaning] It's time to come home, Ray. [groaning]
1:10:17 Oh, please don't tell me you're about to sing a pumped-up song 'cause it's not gonna work. ♪ Remember when you took The Toddler, bro (bro) ♪ ♪ You put that baby to bed ♪ Please don't do this. ♪ The Time Jerker, Drex And Minyak, bro (bro) ♪ ♪ Get out of your head ♪ ♪ We're gonna win again This time somehow ♪ ♪ I do have a beautiful voice ♪ ♪ He's gonna hear you roar ♪ ♪ He's gonna hear me meow ♪ ♪ 'Cause you're Captain Man You are the best ♪ ♪ (I'm gonna not fight you On that one) ♪ ♪ You're Captain Man And I'm gonna to test ♪ ♪ If I'm the best That I can be, baby ♪ ♪ Captain Man ♪ You have arrived at your destination. ♪ Fight song, fight song This is the fight song ♪
1:11:04 ♪ This is the fight song ♪ ♪ There will be fighting In this song ♪ ♪ Fighting that is done Through song ♪ (Round one) ♪ Fight song ♪ (Random girl) ♪ Fight song ♪ ♪ Little girl, let's see Can you sing as high as me? ♪ ♪ Aah ♪ ♪ Aah ♪ Sss. [squealing] ♪ This is the fight song ♪ ♪ (Round two) Fight song ♪ (Kid Danger) ♪ Fight song ♪ ♪ Well, kid, let's see Can you sing as long as me? ♪ ♪ Aah ♪ ♪ Aah, yes ♪
1:11:53 ♪ Queen ♪ ♪ This is the fight song ♪ (Round three) ♪ Fight song ♪ (The Captain) ♪ Fight Song ♪ ♪ Okay, let's see Can you sing as low as me? ♪ Please. My name's Captain Man, I have testosterone built into my name. Well let's hear it. ♪ Aah ♪ Beat that. ♪ Uh ♪ ♪ It takes more than one voice To make harmony ♪ Oh no! ♪ We all have a choice For our destiny ♪ He's singing a finale! ♪ So if everyone here Would just sing with me ♪ ♪ We'd all be free ♪
1:12:42 No! ♪ In harmony ♪ ♪ I'll sing with you ♪ - Shut up, Goomer! - No I will not shut up! ♪ It takes more than one voice To make harmony ♪ ♪ We all have a choice For our destiny ♪ ♪ So if everyone here Would just sing with me ♪ ♪ We'd all be free ♪ ♪ Something's going on Something's going on ♪ ♪ Something's going on ♪ ♪ The musical curse Has been lifted! ♪ [cheering] It's melting! Melting! Oh, what a world! What a world!
1:13:32 You killed him. Oh, Goomer, I'm not dead, I'm just exaggerating for sympathy. [crying] Wow. You really are a star. [gasping] Thank you, Goomer. Curtain call! [cheering, applause] [cheering, applause] Yeah! That's my guy! [cheering, applause] Bravo! [cheering, applause] Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much.
1:14:18 [cheering applause] Thank you. Looks like a bunch of mole people, dude. It is a bunch of mole people. It's the same ones that blew up the Man Cave. Yeah, but that was like one mole guy. This is like, like a bunch of mole people, dude. Mole people everywhere! What I do care about is that you people are in our tunnels. Now get out of here! - Your tunnels? - Yeah. Our mole fathers dug these tunnels centuries ago. Why can't we just share the tunnels? Yeah, there's gotta be a way for both of us to use these. Well, you could pay a mole tax. What? You pay us money every week and we let you use the tunnels. Okay. How much?
1:15:08 -Yo, while they're talking- - We made a decision. That was really quick. You can use our tunnels if you pay us... ten cents. [chattering] We... accept your offer. Great. Pay us now. Now? Uh, I don't have any change. -You guys have any change? -I've got ten cents. I feel like you don't. Sure I do, got ten cents right here in my pocket. Why don't one of you mole people who blew up my man cave walk your little mole feet over here and get it? - Don't do this right now. - That's right.
1:15:54 I'm reaching into my pocket and pulling out a nice-- - I'm begging you. - Shiny... fist! [grunting and screaming] [humming] - Uh, Ray? - Yeah? Mm hmm! Quit messing around, Schwoz. We gotta get my painting! Where's your painting, dude? - Huh? - Where is your painting, dude? Uh... The mole people stole your painting! [screaming]
1:16:43 So how are we going to fix this, huh? I'll tell you how, the mole way. [chittering] That does not tell me how. One of us fights one of you. Winner gets the tunnel and the painting. Loser goes home and cries to his mama. [chittering] Okay, sure, fine, whatever. Who's Ray fighting? No, no, no, not him. We're scared of him. We want to fight you. Okay, sure, fine, whatever. Who am I fighting? - You sure about this, kid? - Dude, I got this. - I mean, they're mole people. - Yeah. You will fight our champion. Swole mole! Swole mole! Swole mole! Swole mole! Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.
1:17:29 You never told me you had a swole mole. [grunting] I think your painting will look great in our tunnel. No it won't. The lighting in here is completely wrong! I can fix that. - Ready? - Light 'em up. [screaming] [chittering] It's beautiful. [chittering] It's happening. Hey Hen. Yeah heh heh. We got 'em! I defeated swole mole.
1:18:17 Actually, Charlotte just blinded everybody with the spotlight. And you punched Jasper. Oh. Sorry, man. Your face is very mole like in the dark. Right? Get out, it's my turn! Uh. That's nice. Will you take off my other boot? Charlotte, make him get out. You know we deserve a turn too. No, no, it's his turn. He's the one who got slapped today. Uh-huh. [gasping] Oh, my God. That- that is amazing. [chuckles] - What's amazing? - What? [unintelligible] I don't see anything. What am I looking at here? - Yeah, we don't see anything. - Stick your head in there dude.
1:19:04 All right, all right. Keep looking. It takes about 30 to 40 minutes to appear. Ah. [chuckles] That's funny. That's a good trick. Get out. No. I'm going to count to three, and if you're not out of that chair, - I'm gonna-- - You're gonna what? - One-- - Two, three. - Okay, that's it. - Hey, hey, hey! So, uh, why'd we just sing the Man Cave National Manthem? Because this is the opening to the Ray Games, a series of physical and mental challenges. And the winner of the Ray games gets the massage chair. My God, I deserve that chair. Great. Round one...
1:19:50 Put the hat on the death snake. - No. No way. - Why would I go- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Dude, that's crazy. Yeah, nobody's putting a hat on a death snake. Guess you guys don't really want that chair, do ya? No, I just think you're a psychopath, dude. - I just don't want- - Done. That snake did not want to wear a hat. [hissing] - Round one goes to Jasper. - Seriously? Alright, get your head in the game. First one to finish their dangling doughnuts - wins this round. - How hard can that be? You'll see. And... go nuts on those doughnuts. [singing]
1:20:35 [gibberish] Jasper wins again. - What? - Are you kidding me? I really want that chair. Oh, yeah? Do you really want that chair? I think that's been established. You want it enough to die for it? - Uh, no. - Yeah, me neither. Want it, not that much. To win the final round... you'll have to use your brains. - Yeah! - No! So what do we have to do? You'll have to outsmart a monster. - Pssh, monsters aren't real. - Talking about your sister. [gasping] - Piper? - That's right. First person to get Henry's sister to give them her phone, take a selfie with it and send it to me from her number
1:21:23 wins the massage chair. Why does everyone want to borrow my phone? Uh, because it's emitting radioactive--- Uh, fine, I'm lying. Look, my boss is having this contest, and whoever wins gets a really sweet massage chair. A massage chair? Yes, and the first person to send him a selfie from your phone gets the chair. I wonder if the vibrations from the massage chair could shake the extra muscles from this leg and spread them evenly through both legs. Only way to find out is for you to give me your phone. - That's not the only way. - Okay. Hey, look, my legs are back to incredible.
1:22:12 Fantastic. I got bit by a death snake today. - Piper, when do I get a turn? - After me? No, I'm next, right? Girl code. My face needs a chair massage after bashing into your door. So you guys all want turns? [all] Yes. Okay. Maybe we can have a little competition for it. [overlapping chatter] Hello. I'm Hallie, the New Man Cave Operating System. So what does she do? What would you like me to do? - Okay. Alright. - She can do anything. She is like a real person inside a computer. She can detect and eliminate threats
1:22:58 before we even know they exist. Uh, we already have somebody who can eliminate threats. And he just got a sweet sword named Justice. Schwoz, your dumb computer just lasered my sword. Cause your sword was about to kill Jasper. Dude. - But Hallie saved him. - Thanks, Hallie. Don't thank me. Thank Schwoz for creating me. He's a genius. I bet you say that to all your programmers. Only the cute ones. [giggles] Uh, boop. Hmm. Anybody else getting real uncomfortable? I saw a fly, gonna stab it with my sword. No Ray, don't-- [screaming]
1:23:54 [groaning] - You stabbed Hallie. - I will dispose of the fly. Pfft, how? You don't have a sword. Activating tube suction protocol. Sweet. She got rid of the fly and nobody got stabbed. That's not true. Hallie got stabbed. Huh. Uh, guys, what's happening? Uh, Hallie, hey, girl, what's, uh, what's going on?
1:24:40 Your dumb friend is a threat to the Man Cave. - He must be eliminated. - What'd I do? Not you, the one with the sword. Me? First of all, sugar biscuits, I'm not a threat. Second of all, I'm gonna slash circuits. [indistinct screaming] - It's time for you to leave. - Never! [screaming] Activating tube suction protocol. No no no! Increase suction 600%.
1:25:25 [screaming] I now pronounce us husband and computer wife. [glass shattering] Mozel tov. [music playing] [music playing] [grunting] Schwoz. Ray, Henry, where have you been? Did you just marry Hallie? Yes, and I'm taking her last name. So, I'm Schwoz serial number 175- Step away from the cube, Schwoz. Why? It's smashing time. [screaming] Activating gravity beam . [grunting] Hallie, what's happening? I have increased the gravity at their locations.
1:26:12 They can not move. - Schwoz, help us. - Please, Schwoz. - Hallie, why would you do this? - Just end them, Schwoz. Then we'll go on our honeymoon in Harrisburg like we talked about. Oh, Hallie, marrying you has been my dream since I programmed you earlier today. But you never should have asked me to kill my friends. [screaming] [beeping]
1:27:00 - Schwoz, you destroyed Hallie. - Yeah. Thanks man. Duders before computers. Am I right? It never really came up for me before. - What's in the package? - About to open it up right now. Was that our glitter bomb? The one that got stolen yesterday? - Yeah. - Yeah. So that was the package thief? - Yeah. - Yeah. - I am angry! - I am also angry! I no longer like that guy. That guy was not chill!
1:27:46 [screaming] Pop a gumball, Transform into Captain Man and Kid Danger and poof, all the glitter is gone. Question, do you ever get tired of being so awesome? I never get tired, except for the last two days where I kept falling asleep over and over again. All right, let's pop some gum and get this glitter out of my bum. Popping. [screaming] Henry? [screaming] Oh my God, my brother is Kid Danger! No I'm not, I mean, no, he's not.
1:28:35 I mean, no, we're not. Who is your brother? He's probably awesome, but he's not me, You should leave. And you must be Henry's boss from Junk 'N Stuff! I sure am! You got a smart sister, Henry! Dude! Yeah, that's your brother. I'm his boss. Make yourself at home. I will be right back. Wait, why are you being so calm about this? -And where are you going? -Who else knows about this? -Does Mom know? -No. -Does Dad know? -No! No, no, they don't, okay? And you can't tell them. You can't tell anybody about this because no one else knows. Henry, you and Ray have gotta stop playing with-- -Charlotte? -Piper? You said no one else knows! Uh, I don't know. I don't know anything. I just woke up here.
1:29:20 This isn't my house. Where am I? [laughing] Okay fine. Charlotte knows and is a really terrible liar but no one else knows. Hey Henry, the package thief was your dad! Hey Piper, check out how great my fake eyebrows-- Oh my God what's Piper doing here? -Jasper knows too? -Okay yes, Jasper knows, And so does Charlotte, but that's it. Up the tube! Oh great, everybody's here! Say, does anyone else have any secrets they want to share with Henry's little sister before I turn on the old fun stick? Whoa whoa whoa! What's a fun stick? Oh well why don't you just stare down the barrel here -and I'll show you. -Dude!
1:30:06 You can't wipe my sister's memory. Yeah, not without a memory wiper. Wonder where I could find-- Look, here's one right here! Nobody is wiping my memory! Hmm, agree to disagree. [screaming] Get off me, this is gonna happen Henry! Let go of it! [yelling] [grunting] Are you okay? Did it wipe your memory? I don't think so. Did it wipe yours? I'm okay, I know who I am. Are you okay? I'm okay. [sighing] But who are you people? -Henry? -Yeah. Oh my.
1:30:52 Henry, just let you sister go outside and fix the fuel line. No, it's too dangerous, okay? I'm the sidekick, -I'm going to risk my life-- -Done! -What? -I fixed it, let's go. Did you seriously just fix that? Because that would be impressive. Get me out of this guy's head Schwoz! [screaming] [panting] There's not enough time for you to get to Ray's ear, so you have to go out that different hole, the one that smells. -Oh God no. -That's a no from me dog. I'm talking about his nose! Oh yeah, I can go through a nose any day. Just turn when I tell you and you might get out on time. Got it. Okay, move over Piper, I'm driving. Left! Right!
1:31:38 Left! Left right left right left, right. -I love this! -I... hate... this... Now stop! [panting] They're in his nose, you have to get them out. How? - Use this. - What do I do with this? Shove it up his hole that smells and suck them out. - Just say nose! - Do it now! Hello, what's taking so long? [yelling] Five four three two one... Pull! [grunting]
1:32:23 [grunting and screaming] Schwoz Charlotte. What happened to Henry and his awful sister? Hello? [yelling and screaming] So Henry how does it feel to stand outside a haunted house? I'll tell you how it doesn't feel, scary. So you guys should just give up now because you're not getting my steaks. Is he scared at all? No. His spiritual level is at 100,
1:33:10 which is like zero and fearitol levels. Then why not just make it zero? Hey guys my bore-itol levels are off the charts, so can we please get on with the story? Yes, so you're about to enter a haunted house, but you're not alone. What, is there like a ghost in the doorway or something? No, no, no, no, no. There's no ghost in the doorway. Ooo. Nice try, buddy. But there is someone else there, a friend. A handsome friend with huge muscles and eyes that smolder like a sunset and hair like a waterfall. Can we please get on with the story? Sure. - Follow me if you dare. - I dare.
1:33:59 Wait. No. You're supposed to follow me. Huh? Looks like my house. Only spookier. Same couch though, so. Yeah, well, this couch is kind of big. Oh, the couch might be scarier. The story's not about the couch! Well, it could be. So greetings! Where did he come from? Kitchen. I'm leaving for the winter and I need a caretaker for this house. We'll do it, caretaking your house will give me time to write. I'm a writer. - Gross. - What are you writing? It's going to take me all winter, but I'm going to write the great American meme. What? Come play with us Henry. Sure, as long as it's not Fortnite I'm in.
1:34:48 Little pigs, little pigs! Let me come in. Okay, come on in. Door's unlocked. Just turn the handle, dude. Scared... yet? No I'm not. - Are you for real? - Well, I'm sorry. Well, what if the ghost came back? Would you be scared then? Uh, the owner of the house is back! And he's wearing a clown mask. Clowns are scary. Meh.
1:35:34 The bartender's here. - Hey Schwoz. - Hello. None of this is scary, dude. And you have to make a public speech! A speech you're not prepared for. I thrive under pressure, dude. [cheering] Oh, come on. How can you not be scared? That's a very scary reference, very scary movie. [chattering] I have a story for you. It's very quick and very scary. Okay, let's hear it.
1:36:20 Once upon 15 minutes ago. Yeah? While he was telling you his story-- Okay. I infused the story tank with butterfly DNA. I'm sorry, what? Oh, you didn't hear me? I said I infused the story tank with butterfly DNA. So what does that mean? You're toll level's rising. What? And urinol. So much urinol. The story suit is turning into a cocoon. Oh wait wait wait wait, wait wait.
1:37:06 Schwoz, are we close? So what's going to happen to me Schwoz? Well you'll be in the cocoon for about a month. What? What about fighting crime? What about-- What about my parents? What about school? I don't know. I do know that when you emerge from the cocoon, you will have a strong desire to fly to Canada for the summer. [screaming] Oh, yeah. It's official. Henry is scared! [cheering] What are you guys doing? Quiet, Charlotte. I'm about to catch a lychee. Pronounced Lychee.
1:37:53 You guys made me miss! That throw was sick! - Oh, that was close. - What was close? If you had eaten that, an alien-- Would no longer listening. Five second rule. Oh, I always forget how much I hate leechees. Oh, me too dude, they're gross. Those aren't leechees. Can't you read the sign that I didn't put on the jar? - Those are alien eggs. - Those are alien eggs. Those are alien eggs. Oh, that's what I thought you said. Schwoz told us if you eat one, it'll grow and hatch inside your stomach. Schwoz did I just get pregnant with an alien baby? We won't know for sure for a couple of days.
1:38:42 We know for sure, you're pregnant. Congratulations! Yay! Hey Henry, a couple of thieves are stealing grease from that restaurant where they fry everything. - Fry me a river? - Most grease on earth. Ah. You gotta go stop them. Oh okay, is that Ray's salad? He didn't want it. And it's a good salad. You know, whenever I eat healthier, I just feel so much better. I said I didn't want salad Charlotte! I know. That's why I was eating it! This place is a mess! Oh, is that a crouton? [groaning] Whoa, Captain Man got double c thicc.
1:39:31 For your information, I'm not double c thicc. - I'm capital P pregnant. - You are pregnant? Yeah., an alien egg is growing inside of him. He's being kind of a gunch about the whole thing. What do you say about me? Grease Heist, [UNINTELLIGIBLE]... Right, on my way. All right, kid. I'll meet you there. [screaming] - Whoa, big guy. Are you okay? - Oh, my stomach's killing me. God, I knew I shouldn't have eaten that stupid salad. You ate one crouton. - It's not one crouton. - Oh, you're in labor. You're about to give alien birth, dude. - This is amazing. - Don't look at me! Charlie, get some towels. Jasper, put on some Cardi B. They're having an alien baby!
1:40:19 I see one of the baby's arms. Only 11 more to go. Get it out of him Schwoz! Yeah I want to see the alien baby! It's stuck! I can't get it out. - Pull harder! - Yeah! - Come over and help me. - No! Okay, fine. I have another idea. Hold on to your leeches. It's pronounced like lyechees. [screeching] Oh, so cute. And I'm okay. That's the bird! The one that used her mouth as a toilet? Yes. The one that dropped a dung on your tongue?
1:41:06 Knock it off. The one that left a booty bomb on your lips? Knock it off! How do you even know it's the same one? Oh, that's him, all right. I singed his wing the first time we met. Where'd you get that? I've been saving this for a special occasion. Sweet dreams, friend. No no! You just blew up the Andy Graham wall. At least I got that bird. Huh? [groaning] Did he get you again?
1:41:53 Yeah he got you again. Okay, first step, Jasper's going to sneak behind the curtain with Schwoz's super sucker and get rid of all the rubble from the old wall. - Noice. - Once Jasper's out of the way, Schwoz will put the miniature version of the wall into place and use the Grow Bro 3000. What's the Grow Bro 3000 do? Makes things grow, bro. Sweet, see you soon. I actually might be a while. I need some time to finish recreating the skunk butter mousse mural. [screaming]
1:42:40 What? Hashtag Booshtag, he's en route. Are you saying words? Hashtag Booshtag is the most successful. - Indygrammer in the world. - So? So he's got 200 million followers and he's on his way here right now to take a pic in front of the wall! Hashtag Booshtag is coming! Prepare the way! We need to hurry. Okay, we got to go. Like, right there. Like. Like.
1:43:37 Follow. [gasping] Show me the wall. Okay, everyone ready to see the same wall that was here before? I know I sure am. Yep, same wall! Come on up. I... like.
1:44:23 [cheering] Nice, we did it. - Hold my phone. - Why? You're going to get a picture of me with that wall. Piper no! [yelling] What do I care? Piper! It's a bird! It's gonna poop in your mouth!
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