0:00 The moment she pursues you in any way, it's over. You've seduced her. That's it. Of how to hook a man so that he would become her slave. No man can resist a siren because of that energy that she exudes. Feeling like you were never loved, but you need it from the public is often what makes a charismatic, that quality. We don't learn from people just by following their ideas. You can't choose your father and mother. If you're anxious for success, if you're anxious for [music] money, you're going to make the wrong choices.
0:45 If you're pursuing someone so much, it's almost like [music] it's getting too predictable here. And the sense of being constantly [music] chased and sense of pursued is tiring. It's also a little bit frightening. [music] And it's also like where is this all ending, right? It's going too much like you're in control of everything. If you take a [music] step back, you're the one pursuing her and now you step back and you don't call her as much and you're doing your work and you're not so interested in her, suddenly she's going to have to pursue you because she you've got your hooks in her so deeply. >> And the moment she [music] you've
1:30 created this space because think of it spatially. You're after her, you're after her. It's like this, this, this, this. You're after her. [music] And then you pull back. Now there's a space between you two. That space is where she's going to fall. And that's what I mean by it. So, you've pulled back and now she's going to pursue you because she doesn't want to lose it. It's been so interesting and so pleasurable and she's so used to this dynamic [music] that she's now going to turn around. The moment she pursues you in any way, [music] it's over. You've seduced her. That's it. So, it's got to be timed right. We're very near the end of our seduction here because it literally means to fall and we're [music] like falling in love. It's all psychological
2:16 and literally falling in love is a you can't control it. You're [music] falling. >> So, you're giving them space for them to fall because if you're pursuing [music] them, they're just backing up. But you want them to go like that. The problem that a man will have in this situation [music] is he's so worried that he's that the w he's going to offend the woman that [music] she's going to think that all he wants is he's trying to be nice. He's and so he's he's he's he's reluctant to take the last step [music] right? But that to the woman that signals you've been doing this all along. You don't desire me that much. You're not willing to do something kind of aggressive. This is the moment that the woman wants something aggressive.
3:02 She doesn't want you to hit her, but she wants you to take the initiative and do something which signals that you are so attracted to her. You are so in love with her that you're just going to like pounce on her. And that's what ends the seduction. That's what's powerful. That's what moves the other person. But the fact that you're hesitating ruins the whole effect. So at the very last moment, it's your boldness that will consummate. It's the boldness that in this situation, the woman actually [music] wants. The man has been doing all of these things [music] that have quite honestly requires some effort, right? He's put, you know, if it's been over the course of a couple months, [music] let's just give it a little bit of time. We're not
3:48 doing one of those pick up in a bar three day kind of things. It's been a couple months. >> He's been working at it, right? He's been doing these things. He's been taking you out here. He's been buying you things. You're you're also doing things as well. I'm not saying it's totally one-sided, but he's been putting in all this effort. Now, he's got what he wants and it's all gone. Right now, he [music] doesn't need to take you out to a nice restaurant. Now, he doesn't need to dress up nicely. He can just sit at home in his shorts and order pizza in and watch games. [music] He takes you starts to take you for granted, right? He stops seducing. Now, I'm saying in in this [music] 24 here, obviously, you're not going to be um giving the same amount of effort that you did earlier on. That would be
4:34 exhausting. You have to keep seducing a little bit on and on and on. You have to do occasionally do surprises. [music] You have to occasionally take them to some place special. You have to be willing to keep dressing nicely or or do something different to have that slight theatrical [music] that sort of fantasy element. There still has to be a little bit of mystery involved. If the other person becomes so familiar then then then the spark [music] then the charge between you will dissipate. So there has to be a little bit of mystery, a little bit of space still [music] between you and some surprise. So naturally it's going to get lesser the longer you're [music] together, but it can't completely disappear. And a lot of women complain, at least I've heard, that he just stopped trying, right? It
5:22 just everything suddenly [music] became I just became somebody familiar to him and all the magic was gone and all the things that he used to do that [music] were full of effort. All of that has just gone like that. And that's it's a devastating [music] feeling like I'm not worth it anymore. It's all over. That kills a relationship. So was the one tool back then [music] that a woman had to gain power over a man. And so women invented the art of seduction as a way to turn the dynamic around, right? To have power over the man. So they [music] developed this very elaborate art of how to hook a man [music] so that he would become her slave which was very very powerful. The siren is [music] the most primal, the
6:10 most primitive form of seduction of seductress. [music] And these were literally sirens were literally these these mythical creatures [music] that were on rocks in the sea and they song was so powerful that men on ships would drive into the water to to reach them and then they would drown and die. So the [music] siren is so powerfully attractive, so powerfully seductive, has such a sex energy that men will dive into the water and kill themselves over them. >> And so the siren kind of exudes this kind of very powerful sexual energy. [music] She doesn't have to say anything. There was a charge about her that was very sex and very powerful. And
6:57 men would go wild over this and they would pursue her and then she would know how to keep stringing them along. No man can resist a siren because of that energy that she exudes that's so primal and it's so rare. There not that many sirens around. But a siren [music] is the most devastating seductress of them all. Yeah. So it's not just about the face. [music] Men are very visually oriented, right? But it's also the psychology involved that she's playing on. [music] The rake is a man who's really really interested [music] in women. You know, he's interested in their world, in their spirit. He often grew up with a maybe [music] a mother and sisters. So,
7:44 he's he's very comfortable around women. He knows them. He loves women. He loves their world, their [music] energy, their spirit. But not a single woman can ever satisfy him. So he has to have 50 of the hundred. He has to have a thousand women in his life. [music] The dandy is somebody um who's got a bit of androgyny to them. They they kind of sometimes will dress like a man, but they're definitely a woman. They're not they're not, you know, um [music] but they're a woman with a with a male streak. They're a man with a feminine streak. The dandy isn't going to [music] seduce everyone, but a lot of people are attracted to that kind of androgynous figure. So, if you're very natural, if you're very comfortable and [music] and you you
8:30 know, you you you don't have much of a filter on what you say and [music] what you do like a child does, but it's so innocent. It's [music] it's like that's why we we we we fall in love with animals or pets, right? They're so innocent. they [music] can't help being what they are, right? So, we we we fall in love with them for that [music] very quality. Whereas people who try really hard, it's very off-putting. They're not being who they are. But when somebody is just can't help it, this is who they are. They're [music] naturally playing these pranks. They're naturally making these jokes. They're naturally upset and emotional. We can't We're naturally drawn to them. A person who's [music] charismatic, it's like they have a light inside of them,
9:17 like a [music] light bulb or a lamp that's inside of them. You can't see it, but it animates everything from [music] them, their face, their eyes, their gestures. They feel like they're lit up from within, and it's very powerful. They have this confidence [music] and this energy. They have to get it from other people. They have to get it from crowds. They have to get it from an audience. They have to get it from the camera and all the millions of people who are going to watch them. They they have such a need for love [music] and attention because they never got it that they project that out onto the world. That is the lamp that's lighting them up from the inside and making everything that they do seem so animated and so exciting. [music] So feeling like you were never loved but you need it from the public is often what makes [music] a
10:02 charismatic that quality. And you will always almost always find that they come from deprived [music] childhoods. The star is sort of harder to to verbalize, but [music] it's a person who attracts fantasies. So there's a kind of a slight blankness on to them, [music] a kind of a mysterious quality where we see onto them whatever we want to see, right? [music] We project onto them all of our fantasies, all of our desires, and they know how to attract that kind of attention. So actors and actresses are kind of the classic examp [music]
10:48 if they were too strong about it. If they projected it too outward, you wouldn't give room for people to fantasize about it. But the fact that you're kind of empty that you there's nothing mysterious about you. almost as I say something kind of empty that we can now see what we want to see in you [music] is is the primal kind of star quality and so at some point maybe you see too many of the flaws [music] you go on I need somebody new in my life but there's nothing wrong with that it's not like you're you're you're violating any codes or hurting them you move [music] on to somebody else but the sense of finding people whose qualities you admire [music] we don't learn from people just by following their ideas, we pick up
11:35 their energy, their [music] spirit. Now, you didn't necessarily pick up my energy or spirit from reading mastery, although maybe you did. I don't know. But when you're interacting with that professor [music] at Stanford or whatever, it's not just verbally. There's kind of a non-verbal communication going on. You're internalizing some of the positive qualities that you saw in them. and finding these series of mentors cuz I call it surrogate parents. You can't choose your father and mother, but you can choose these ideals for you can [music] choose these mentors in your life. You can kind of rewrite your family history and find that father figure you never had by glomming onto this person, but it has to be the right fit. It has to be someone that you
12:20 connect to emotionally and intellectually and that has the positive qualities you wish for yourself. When you have that sense of purpose about your life, about what's important, it just infects your career, but it infects everything you do. So, you know, eating this food is going to drain me of my energy that I need to create this thing that means so much to me. And energy and feeling my my brain active and alive is an incredibly important value. All right, I'm not going to eat all that sugar because it's bad for me, right? [music] It means I'm not going to get outraged by these things on the internet because it's a waste of time. I can't do anything about it. So, no, I don't want to go there. Right? And on and on and on. All these things in
13:06 social media, some of it's good. Some of it's interesting. I can [music] follow Andrew Huberman's podcast and I enjoy that and I learn a lot from it. But a lot of these podcasts are useless. They're they're not helping me in any way. [music] So it gives you this kind of filter and this radar to cut out those hundred different choices that drive us absolutely crazy. And having a sense of your purpose whenever you discovered in your 20s hopefully gives you that ability to say these are the positive role models I want in my life. These are the mentors. And the thing about following people on social media is it's so easy. It's [music] just a click. doesn't mean anything. A mentor relationship takes work. It takes courage because you have
13:53 to actually go up to somebody and physically ask for their help. And a lot of people write to me say, "I'm afraid of asking this [music] important powerful person to be their mentee." Right? So it involves a sense of social courage where you have to literally engage with another human [music] being who you admire and who you think is powerful. So it's building your social skills [music] etc. But it's a skill you develop. You can't just follow someone. You can't just watch their lectures. You have to engage with them. [music] And you have to get over some of your fears and your anxieties in the process. Yeah. You want to be able to think for yourself [music] right? So, you're not just absorbing ideas from other people and kind of mimicking them [music] and kind of just learning the exteriors of their ideas.
14:41 You want to kind of digest [music] them and then have them slowly become your own ideas by interacting with them by creating by putting them through your own lens. The difference between [music] dead thinking and alive thinking. Ideas can be either alive or they can be dead. And an alive idea is something that enters your [music] brain from an external source, a philosopher, an article, somebody you admire, somebody you [music] hate, and then you absorb it and you think about it and you decide, I'm going to turn it around into this and I'm going to make it alive and it's going to make it [music] something that's part of me. Another part of an alive idea is um you have an idea that comes to you about a
15:27 book or a project or something about the world and you go maybe that's not actually true. Maybe the opposite is true and you go through a process and you cycle through it on and on and you reflect on it and you refine this idea and maybe it turns into its opposite. And through the process of reflecting and correcting and revising it, you turn it into something living, something alive within you, right? On and on and on. And what prevents [music] people from going through that process, which would be the subject of my book, is basically anxiety. Because I think how you handle anxiety is the most important kind of quality in life. will determine whether you will be successful, whether you will find your career path, or whether [music] you won't be able to. Anxiety is a signal to you that you
16:14 don't understand something that that there's a problem out there that that you can't resolve. And so [music] what happens to most people if you're insecure is you glom onto something instant and [music] easy to get rid of your feeling of anxiety. I don't understand this problem. Oh, it must be a must. A must be the answer because this person [music] said that, right? And so you don't develop the the ability to think. You don't develop the ability to go to the next level. But if you take that anxiety and you go, "All right, maybe A is an [music] answer." And then you start going through A and then you go, "No, maybe A isn't the answer. Maybe B is [music] the answer." You're able to surmount your anxiety and go past it. Come further and further and further. You don't rush for the first available
17:00 answer that's out [music] there, right? You're able to go through a process of refining things. And so [music] in your career, if you're anxious for success, if you're anxious for money, you're going to make the wrong choices. [music] But if you're able to deal with that anxiety and say, "Maybe I'm I have to think more deeply about where I'm going. I have to come up with other alternatives." Then you're going to make a much better choice. On and on and on. creative person, it's very very challenging to have that blank piece [music] of paper before you, that book that you haven't written, that film or whatever, you're filled with a lot of anxiety [music] and you have to deal with it. And if you're able to turn it into something creative and productive, then great things will happen. You'll create a masterpiece. [music] So the ability to deal with anxiety and
17:47 to not give into [music] the most instant gratification that you can get is to me a marker of somebody who will be creative and will invent something as opposed to people who just recycle [music] old and dead ideas.
