0:00 Hi, I'm Rusty Cage, joined here today by my little friend Woodsworth. Hello. You know, there are a lot of things in the world that we can make jokes about. Dogs, airplane captains, death. But there are a few subjects that just are not funny, and suicide is no laughing matter. You see, suicide is a very serious issue that affects everyone. Many people have had close friends and loved ones commit suicide, and many more have struggled with suicidal thoughts themselves. Gee, Rusty, are you saying that people should never make jokes about suicide? What are you, dumb? Of course that's what I'm saying, you stupid fucking pathetic piece of shit! So then making jokes about suicide isn't appropriate because it belittles those affected by it, right? Yes! But I thought the point of comedy was to turn tragedy into laughter. Mark Twain famously said, comedy equals
0:49 tragedy plus time. Yeah, well, what the fuck does Mark Twain know about anything? Listen, the point is, suicide jokes aren't... funny. Don't believe me? Go ahead, give it a try. Hmm, okay, let's see. Oh, I got one! Did you hear about the blonde who tried to kill herself? She jumped out a basement window! Jesus, Woodworth. That was the least funny joke I've ever heard in my entire life. Yeah, you're right. Okay, hold on. Oh, so my wife, right? My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. You should be ashamed of yourself. You know I... have a long history of suicide in my family. Oh, jeez. I'm sorry. The good news is, it skips a generation. So if I'm lucky, my kids will kill themselves. I guess when you think about it, suicide is man's way of telling God, you can't
1:36 fire me, I quit. Eh, kind of. Suicide is more like cheating the doctor out of a job. Oh, speaking of doctors, when I was born, I was so ugly that after the doctor cut the cord, He hung himself. That's horrible, Rusty. I tried to hang myself once with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying. Even last week, I told my therapist I was having suicidal thoughts. He told me from now on, I have to pay in advance. Doctors, huh? I told my doctor I want to stop aging. He gave me a gun. I asked this girl if she would go on a date with me Saturday night. She said she was busy committing suicide, so I said, what about Friday? Women, take me. Women, take my life, please. I was going to commit suicide the other day, but I must not have been serious
2:22 because I brought a beach towel. Yeah, I don't really get that one. Well, no one's ever committed suicide listening to a good joke, but many have tried while trying to write one. Listen, the point is, suicide is just too serious of a topic to make jokes about. The same goes with rape and the Holocaust. Yeah, the Holocaust was pretty bad. but I'll tell you what, though, I'm a big fan of whoever the guy was that killed Hitler. Amen. Well, Rusty, I'm convinced. Joking about suicide is a disgusting thing to do. People should stop trying to find humor in tragedy. And now that I think about it, anyone who celebrates the macabre should probably just go jump off a bridge. Hold it now. Oh, right. I meant anyone who makes suicide jokes should probably instead spend their time promoting suicide. awareness. Well now that
3:12 sounds like a good idea. Until you take into consideration that there is little to no statistical evidence showing that suicide awareness campaigns have any effect in reducing the number of suicides. In fact, in some cases, it's been speculated that suicide awareness campaigns actually drive people with inactive suicidal thoughts to kill themselves. Because seeing suicide all over pamphlets, billboards, commercials, and posters triggers their suicidal thoughts. golly, Rusty. That sure is a depressing thought if that's true. No shit, numbnuts. It seems like suicide, upsetting as it is, is just another aspect of life that we all have to recognize exists. Like cancer and death, starvation and war. It's one of those bad things in the world that we just don't have enough control over to make disappear.
3:58 And I suppose then that it's here to stay whether we like it or not. Some people are going to try to prevent it through awareness campaigns, Some people are going to try to prevent it through awareness. some people might write songs or stories about it, and well, I guess some people might even make jokes about it. But it seems like everyone is affected by suicide in some way or another, and how people choose to cope with suicide, how they choose to talk about it, how they choose to live with it, it's really all up to them to decide for themselves, and not for others, to police people's thoughts and control how we can or can't talk about suicide. so then maybe suicide jokes are kind of like a way that people can laugh and feel good despite of the tragic nature of the reality maybe finding humor and depression is their way of coping with their own struggles a type
4:46 of therapy I suppose rusty yes Woodworth how do you cope with suicidal thoughts oh easy I shove my hand up puppets asses
