What does LOVE have to do with narcissistic relationships?

0:00 So, here's a question I want you to sit with. When someone says, "I love you," what happens inside of you? Does it feel warm? Does it feel safe, grounding, soothing, or does it feel complicated? After we've been through narcissistic relationships, many people tell me that love no longer feels simple. It often doesn't feel safe. They say, "I don't trust myself when it comes to love. I I don't know what healthy love looks like. I don't even think I know what love means anymore." And that makes sense because nowhere is love more co-opted

0:47 than in narcissistic relationships. The word love gets thrown around in narcissistic relationships all the time, right? It's used to pull you closer, to keep you from leaving, to justify behavior, to silence your doubts, to diminish you. I love you can sit right next to manipulation, right next to gaslighting, right next to conditional approval, and right next to betrayal. So this month inside the healing program, we're taking on a topic that may surprise some people in a program that's about narcissistic relationships. We're talking about love. And no, not in a romanticized way and

1:33 not in a sentimental way and definitely not in a cliche way. The workshop is called What's Love got to do with it? And the answer is everything. Because love is not just romance or gestures or words. And it's too simple to just call it a feeling. Love shows up in our relationships with our parents, with partners and spouses, with siblings and extended family, with friends, even with ourselves. And if your earliest experiences of love were shaped in environments where love was inconsistent, conditional, manipulative, or tangled up with fear,

2:19 then your internal understanding of love may have been distorted from the jump. We're going to explore all of that this month. We'll start with your personal definition or definitions of love. What did you learn love was? What were the earliest messages you received about love? How did love show up in your family of origin? Was it conditional? Did it have to be earned? Would it be withdrawn to punish you? Did it feel performative? Or was it tied to achievement, obedience, or caretaking? We'll talk about the different types of love that have been identified in the research because yes, there are

3:05 different kinds and how we have overly tangled love with romance to the point that we sometimes miss how understanding love more broadly can clarify our entire relational life. We'll look at what healthy love looks like in relationships with parents, partners, family members, and friends. And then we'll contrast that with what narcissistic love looks like in those same relationships because narcissistic love often comes with strings attached, lots of strings. It may involve love bombing where intensity and idealization masquerade as deep connection. It may involve the

3:52 trauma bond where fear and love and attachment become intertwined. It may involve the myth of what the narcissistic person is calling unconditional love being weaponized to keep you tolerating harm. We'll also talk about the difference between love and self-abandonment. How many of us were taught that loving someone meant sacrificing ourselves? It meant staying no matter what, forgiving without repair, absorbing blame, or not questioning. We'll explore how trauma and abuse impact our experience of love. Because after narcissistic relationships, many survivors begin to

4:39 associate love with fear, with obligation, with guilt, and with confusion. And then something else happens. We protect ourselves not just from the narcissistic person, but we feel like we have to protect ourselves from love itself. We become wary of closeness, suspicious of kindness, uncertain of the words, I love you. We start feeling we cannot trust anyone or ourselves. Yes, love can uplift us. Yes, it can yield transformative human experiences. But unfortunately, in these relationships, it can also block us from seeing other people's behavior clearly.

5:24 And if love has been distorted in your life, clarity becomes essential. This workshop is not about judging what qualifies as love. It's about reclaiming it. It's about understanding how society messes with our heads around love, with ideas like soulmates and destiny, obligation, duty, forgiveness without boundaries. It's about examining the relationship between love and fear in your own life and ultimately it's about giving you a clearer lens through which to evaluate safety. The live workshop takes place on April

6:12 5th as a part of our healing program. And if you're not familiar with my healing program, it is a structured indepth space designed specifically for healing from narcissistic relationships. Each month centers on a theme that helps you make sense of your experience and move forward in a grounded way. In addition to the monthly live workshop, members also receive a guided meditation connected to the month's theme, multiple live question and answer sessions, weekly journal prompts, a secure moderated community space, and additional resources that deepen the work. Each month stands on

6:59 its own, but it also builds on the last. If love feels tangled, confusing, heavy, or even unsafe in your life right now, this conversation matters. If you're not yet a member, you can find the registration link below. New members receive 50% off their first month, which includes access to this workshop and everything else in the program. And if you're already a member, I'll see you there as I do every single month.