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0:00 would you believe me if I tell you that I became a Muslim also because of Donald Trump basically you know Donald Trump was actually the trigger for me you know in wanting to understand Islam to investigate it because otherwise if he hadn't said anything I would probably have never you know had any interest in Islam at all it's it's the fact that there was you know this narrative from him and at the same time my students you know who were doing exactly the opposite thing who picked my curiosity so in a way the trigger has been him you know what is the truth here let's go to the you know root of the issue and let's read the Holy Quran my name is MCO I'm originally from Italy from from Sicily but I currently live in Iceland and I have moved there uh more or less 11
0:47 years ago and uh first of all I mean like I think they have been like three main phases uh of my life like from a religious perspective or a religious uh first I was a Christian I was a Catholic I was born in a Catholic Family even if they were not so like nominally let's say they were nominally catholic and then I went through a phase of atheism and then I moved towards Islam and uh within Ahmed so okay just to you know if I talk about my experience specifically you know like during these three phases well um I wanted to experience you know like spirit uality and as at the time as
1:32 a Christian I wanted to you know be as active as possible within the community so I was more within you know a Franciscan Community um and then I actually at the age of 16 uh you know I felt inside me the idea of becoming a priest a Franciscan frier yes so um if I say it I don't know uh at the time of course you know like I thought I wanted to sacrifice my life for for the sake of religion and uh and also helping others and that's why you know I uh I decided to follow that path and I became a postulant at the age of 18 uh in a Franciscan F and I remained there for one year and a half more or less and uh
2:20 at a certain point it started becoming difficult you know like I wasn't probably prepared for that kind of experience um and things you know like collapsed a bit when uh at a certain point there was one of the friers who started getting ill we thought I mean he was in his 70s and we don't know exactly we thought oh it's just you know some some aches that he has you know because of his age but then we discovered he actually had cancer and it was the terminal stage and he you know was he had problems walking because actually the cancer was cutting you know the the the nerves connecting to the leg so that's why there was this issue so we you know took care of him until his last breath um but that experience you know
3:08 because I have always been protected in a way from this kind of things in in my family um my parents have been very protective regarding negative things you know which at least negative news and negative things close to us um and so at the point you know like it was so difficult for me I basically had a breakdown and uh and then you know I couldn't make it anymore so I left and then I after a while I tried once more but it went also badly and it felt so like I felt so bad about it because my thought process at that point you know after the second experience where basically they told me no like because very quickly after restarting I had basically a breakdown there too and uh
3:55 they told me no so I felt in a way like what is going on like I cannot manage to like I feel so unwanted like in a way I was thinking you know like does God not want me like so in a way you know this led me so I would say there was more like a matter of anger and sadness at the same time you know like oh I feel unwanted so at this point if I'm unwanted then I don't want God anymore and uh and so I started you know uh just being totally like not interested in religion at all so that's how my atheist phase started so it came from a place of anger so emotions you
4:41 know mostly and um and then you know I started working you know uh just to you know live a totally different life and uh and then at a certain point you know I had find a job you know I found a job in Sicily um something that was completely you know not my field but still I managed to it was solar energy so much into technology and then one day in 2010 then uh I discovered you know like was just going you know surfing on the internet and then I started seeing some pictures of Northern Lights in Iceland waterfalls and uh you know glaciers and I was like Wow Iceland is amazing you
5:28 know and then the nerd the language nerd inside me because I've always been a language nerd I thought what language do they speak and then I went you know on some websites to see some texts written in islandic I was like wow I want to learn this language and then I started from you know that first day it was 4th of April 2010 from that day every single day sometime for Icelandic because I wanted to learn the language and moveed there there was something I don't know that pushed me and uh this same thing had happened also with Arabic I was 13 years old I was in high school uh so after I was done with my homework because I had nothing to do I said you know what also like I I discovered a
6:13 certain point Arabic you know from a schoolmate of of mine she was from Morocco and when I heard her speaking Arabic I was like it's interesting I want to understand more and and then I started studying it like constantly it was incredible that that first time like with Arabic was I was so in love with the language but I was only interested in the language at that time at that time proficient not really but I could already you know read and like some easy texts and also uh you know speak a bit yes um but really no not that proficient and how old were you 13 when I started yeah now I mean I and I've tried many languages many I've have tried with
7:01 to study Finnish Romanian Estonian many different languages but only Arabic and Icelandic had this impact on me only these two I cannot even explain why you know it came like really was really strange since like Middle School I Started Loving languages very much and um and basically what happened was that like uh I wanted to as soon as I had you know developed this passion for Icelandic I wanted to study at University foreign languages um but of course considering also my breakdown you know I was still living with my parents at that point after you know the frary uh and we came to a compromise in a way like if you want to study University don't go directly to Iceland
7:46 stay here in Italy uh and study you know languages if you want to study study languages okay and I moved to Rome and then from Rome after one year I found a way through a scholarship to move to Iceland I start islandic there and that's how you know it all started I mean when I started Living in Iceland and then I remained there for 11 years and then while I was there then you know I was still in my my atheist phase but I started traveling in in Iceland so I was shocked amazed like seeing live finally those things that I had seen in photos Northern Lights like in front of my eyes uh water false glaciers I had so many experiences there
8:32 and it's so beautiful that landscape and uh also you know one thing that was astonishing to me was the sky I lived you know I I'm from Sicily and uh you know at times you know when you live you know in a city you generally don't see you know like you T tend to see buildings here and there but in Iceland you have like areas where there is nothing nothing absolutely nothing just the sky and the Earth and it's wow it felt so wide even wider than than somewhere else in the world and I was like wow this is stunning and then this pushed me in a way to think hm could could could it be that maybe you know this all this like
9:18 this beauty is not just a product of random chance that was you know the thought that crossed my mind and in a way this led me you know it was was the first step back to theism because at a certain point you know like with time I started developing some sort of you know thought in relation to atheism I started detaching a bit because with time I started thinking that you know the the problem with God that atheism has is probably more related to morals so that the problem of God is a moral issue in the sense that you know if if I think for example uh about
10:07 religions that are appealing in a way in Western Society one of them as as far as you know as I'm aware based on my experience uh it is Buddhism why like I I I asked myself why you know like this this religious religion specifically and at the same time there was was also you know like I've heard also from many people you know the famous question can you be religious I mean can can you can you be spiritual without being religious and I think both things you know like the fact that Buddhism is appealing and also the fact that you know people ask this kind of question regarding spirituality actually stem from one roote which is I don't want
10:55 accountability because in a way you know when when people say you can be spiritual that's it it's it's in a way like you know taking a look at religion which has different aspect there is of course the community aspect there is a moral aspect as well there are certain duties there's certain some some sort of practice day by day H and then there is another side which is more that sense of connection towards the other like that feeling you know that you are in connection and spirituality is in a way you know taking only this part without the rest but that comes that's a that that is a consequence that's actually you know something that comes after you practice the rest of things so this
11:43 isn't a way you know like something that I have to say is part of of Western society and of atheist Society because like there is the desire of wanting you know a certain type of feeling of well-being in a way but with without taking any any step forward now when I when I move to back to theism someone might ask well okay yeah you became a Muslim but you could have become back a Christian you know why why not Christianity because even in that case you know like also in retrospect I I know that you know my rejection of Christianity came from a place of anger but in retrospect now uh my thought is no I would never you know come back to Christianity because um you know
12:29 one thing is one one thing that I remember from my experience of Christianity is the idea of keeping balance where basically you know you are always in the same position you don't move like you don't change in your personality and you just have to be careful to keep you know balance and if you fall okay there is the sacrament of confession and after that you come back to the same position again it's in a way a negative side of religion you know I I I want to develop and for doing that I mean it cannot be such a passive you know attitude which my opinion is you know it is very common within you know Christian Society at least Catholic Society so the idea that you know you remain there you don't you
13:16 don't have to change everything is fine with you in a way you just have to be careful you know to not fall but that's a negative you know view of religion in a way because you know it's it's like you know the analogy of the bicycle if if you like if you stay like this on your you ride a bicycle and you don't move of course you're going to fall but the only way to keep balance and and like you know without falling is moving moving forward so you have to develop somehow actively you know and uh compared to Islam the you know the way to you know move forward is actually a push and that push you know doesn't come if I look at Christianity doesn't it didn't come at that time because in the end you know if
14:05 um if Jesus has sacrificed himself for my himself for my sins also the ones that I'm going to commit how am I motivated to change my personality in the first place I find it in a way pedagogically really you know problematic because you know even a parent who takes the blame for you know like for what his son makes of course you know in a way that child is going to feel entitled and say well I mean I can do whatever I want in a way and I can still get away with it because my father is going to take the blame for this you know it's difficult to feel the push in that sense and we are experiencing this also in modern society no like kids who feel really entitled
14:50 because in the end you know they're going to get away with everything and it's so easy I mean in a way you know the idea that that someone else is sacrificing for for you you know it puts you into a situation in which yeah okay but you know I can't you don't feel motivated to change yourself in a way in Islam this doesn't come up you have to develop virtue there is a really positive side in that sense you cannot simply stay there and not remain passive like for example if I remained all the time at home without meeting people without doing anything well I was probably not committing sin now theoretically speaking but still you know you are not there to be an island far from other
15:37 people you are in a society and every single member of the society has to contribute somehow it is our responsibility you know from I mean as a Muslim I would say God didn't create us you know to stay away from each other God created us in you know like with different personalities Al together with different abilities so that we can take care of each other and so the and so we have a responsibility to in a way to contribute to maintain the well-being of society and this is something that I definitely you know found in Islam it was it was you know enough for me already you know to observe you know the nature of iseland to think there should be a God because this cannot be the product of random chance I mean the odds are so high the odds are so high and the
16:23 thing is you know even even retrospect you know like especially now as uh as a linguist you know because I do you know some research for example on uh linguistic variation and uh you know if I if I look for example at data from texts in whatever language okay and I want to check you know one variant against and compare it to another maybe one that is dominant for example and I want to check whether there is variation okay if I have 1,000 examples of one variant and only one of the other okay can I say say that there is syntactic variation I mean or whatever it is just by looking at one example it would be very improbable right so it would be
17:09 more probable that the other variant is still dominant right so even if I compare for example you know considering the universe as the product of random chance and on the other hand the product of design it's like comparing really the 99% against 1% I I would not consider the 1% at all you know the the product of random chance because the odds are so high the variables are so many in order to you know guarantee life in a way on a planet in in the universe there are so many variables that it's you know very very difficult extremely difficult that all the correct values of each variable are there in place right so that for me is the
17:56 99% definitely not the first the the 1% that remains which is basically the random chance as soon as you put God into the equation to to people it means morals there is an absolutely good and an absolutely bad and I'm going to be held responsible for what I do and what I say and that's something that people do not want they want to do what whatever they want whenever they want however they want and there nothing there is nothing people can do about it in a way other people I mean other people can do about it and the thing is you know if it let's consider this for example because one one thing that okay let's let's not think about you know like uh possible arguments logical arguments for the existence of god let's think instead about the perspective of people in
18:43 relation to what is more plausible and appealing okay from this perspective if I imagine for example one scenario let's say um one thing that is said for example some people say or that actually we have been created by aliens okay that they mix their DNA with the one of apes and you know that's how we came about okay would that be a plausible you know way of explaining why we exist for many people it will be plausible it will be acceptable why because there is no mention of morals it's just we would be basically the product of an experiment so in a way there is nothing we have to deal with and uh but if I added to this scenario the possibility that the aliens would come back to judge us for what we
19:30 did it would be immediately unacceptable why because I'm adding morals into the picture which is something that people don't want and even if I inverted the scenario by saying you know like another possibility that that there is a God that created us but we are going to die and then after that the Consciousness is going to be you know dead also so there is not going to be any punishment or anything that will be more acceptable than an idea of God who's going to judge because there is no morals there are no morals implied there is no push in that sense so it's fine a God that would be you know that that is that has this kind of description would be much more acceptable in a way it sounds you know less problematic because the problem is actually with morals so basically after I moved to theism okay so we are in 2015
20:17 okay okay would you believe me if I tell you that I became a Muslim also because of Donald [Laughter] Trump that's how it yeah okay so it was 2015 so it's was the you know the the the election campaign Trump versus Clinton uh and of course there was this huge anti-islam narrative from his part and everything um and at the same time I had started teaching so meanwhile I had you know like graduated in Icelandic and uh I started teaching as an assistant and uh I had students you know from different countries and some of them were Muslims from from Iran and Afghanistan and um you know uh at that
21:04 point because the discussion in Iceland was also you know like it was an interesting topic you know the the the election campaign in in America so um at the point I had two different narratives okay one negative one positive because I saw my students they were hardworking they were very kind very gentle you know no problem with them absolutely so I was like okay then at this point you know what is the truth here let's go to the you know root of the issue and let's read the Holy Quran that's how I started reading it it is a course basically for foreign students who are learning islandic so they're from you know different countries and some of them were from uh you know Muslim countries as well so there were some hijabis too so it was like highly
21:49 Multicultural um so I started reading the Holy Quran uh and uh you know while you know I was thinking about theism uh and moving you know towards the idea that there should be a God then I also you know come came up with the question well okay what characteristics has you know this God and one of the first things not even you know I hadn't read the Holy Quran I didn't know what was there but one of the first thing that I thought was self-sufficient there was one of the attributes that I thought thought even you know I hadn't and I hadn't read the Holy Quran and why why did I come with this attribute specifically because in
22:36 Christianity there is more the idea that you know God needs you that God calls you to something that you are in a way special because there is a mission for you and uh for me this idea of specialty didn't work anymore it was more like no con considering this you know this whole world I'm just a do I'm just a dot but still I mean okay I'm a DOT and I might be different from you know other people we are all different but we are still at the same level we are all equal even if we are different and that in a way you know like made me think if there is no specific specialty except for prophets um then you know God doesn't
23:24 need us if God doesn't need us then he self-sufficient so in a way you know okay he created us there is most probably a reason for which we have been created that that was the thought at the time okay so the first thought that I had of course was in a way you know like to grant us you know graciously the chance to experience what life is in a way you know that was my first thought uh at the time but then you know while reading the Holy Quran it shocked me that there was the same you know thought about you know self-sufficient I was like wo that's exactly you know what I thought but of course you know then uh the idea of the reason why we are here okay deferred
24:11 from from what I thought but still you know much many things resonated a lot with what I thought you know like it makes sense this idea of God that I find in the Holy Quran it it makes more sense God is one not not three so there are not like three consciousnesses in the same Consciousness where basically you know they're together but one doesn't know what the other Consciousness is thinking exactly so it's just one entity uh so it made definitely more sense to me it made more sense to me definitely than the Christianity Islam made more sense to me so while reading you know there were so many things also you know like thinking
24:58 about the anti-islam narrative I mean it was so clear like even considering the you know the the the okay war is generally you know an issue you know a controversial issue but it is quite clear it is quite clear that the war we are talking about in the Hool Quran is you know a defense war and one thing you know that I always wonder is you know regarding uh this issue specifically of War like what would be morally acceptable for modern society like regarding what happened at that time when the Muslim Community was persecuted if I'm if I'm in a polit in a social political context where there is no Central Power there is
25:44 no national state that can defend minorities so they are tribes and I part of a community that is threatened by other communities okay we decide we decide within the community to to flee to go away to different town okay so that we can have some peaceful life there okay and then even after doing this after you know we're talking about 13 years basically of persecution and problems you know in in every possible form then still this tribe come and they threaten us and they want to kill us well at a certain point what is you know the the moral solution in that case like don't we have a right to you know defend ourselves don't we have a right to do so even not not putting God
26:32 into the equation I mean in that kind of situation I think everyone would say well uh I would probably defend myself I cannot be you know like going from town to town all the time you know and look living con constantly anomic life don't I have a right also to be you know to live somewhere and have my life there so of course you know there is a point in which you know one has to respond and uh you know defense at libitum so you you don't react you just try to defend yourself like this and you don't do anything else it's not going to solve the problem because the attack is still going to come how do you restore the status quo how do you restore you know the peace in society unfortunately you have to respond I understand and and
27:19 it's this is also a concept in Islam I mean war is something bad anyway but at times that are things situations in life in which you have to choose between two bad things so you have to choose you know the minor problem in a way the minor solution that is going to bad yes but still at times you know it doesn't go so comfortably as we expect it it becomes so you know that that concept of what I mean it it made sense to me and also you know while reading it I mean you understand that the initiative comes from people who want to exterminate the Muslim Community because otherwise if the premise were you know Muslims wake up in the morning to go and kill disbelievers what's the point of saying the Holy Quran if the misbeliever
28:05 surrenders then don't exceed because it doesn't make any sense unless the premise is it is the community of the misbeliever who want to kill the Islamic community that there it makes sense so you read the Quran yes and then you know like uh so fast forward to 2018 that's uh the moment in which you know like I felt really attracted to Islam and I I read at the time I had already read the Holy Quran twice I think twice or three times there was the Italian translation I mean I was reading of course you know the the the Sunni one that you would find you know normally on the internet I didn't know about the exist existence of the jamat at that time so like it it made sense but also
28:51 because I could read the Arabic text so even if I read the translation fine I could also go and see the Arabic text to understand more um because I had already that I had a good basis of Arabic actually while while while reading it I I didn't expect that but at least especially grammatically speaking it was you know many things made sense to me so it was pretty easy so I had in a way an advantage you know in uh in understanding the Holy Quran then um you know in 2018 I started you know thinking I should probably you know like I I I like Islam I like it so the step that I took next was prayer basically you know Donald Trump was actually the trigger for me you know in
29:38 wanting to understand Islam to investigate it because otherwise if he hadn't said anything I would probably have never you know had any interest in Islam at all it's it's the fact that there was you know this narrative from him and at the same time my students you know who were doing exactly the opposite thing who picked my curiosity so in a way the trigger has been him it is the fact that Donald Trump you know spoke against Islam while I was teaching Muslim Students that picked in a way my curiosity so that was the first trigger yeah so um 2018 yeah 2018 I started um you know that's the moment in which I I was very attracted to Islam and I and I hadn't prayed until that moment I hadn't prayed
30:25 so I was like I I want to give it a try I to start praying it was the 8th of January 2018 I remember and U now this is something that I haven't mentioned but um from 2014 I had I had started developing some sort of issue that you know I also spoke to psychologists you know to try to solve this this problem but uh it was news to them and it was basically this so when I went to bed and uh you know at really the moment between wake and sleep my brain went into alarm mode as if you know like because there was somehow like probably had the perception that I was not breathing anymore and I
31:13 immediately you like got out of bed like it felt like really like a panic attack very short but still you know it happened and it was very sporadic at first very rare but then with time it started becoming more frequent frequent frequent and we reached 20177 where it was 25 days out of 30 yes it was almost every night almost every night the very first day that I started praying and I wasn't even praying for this H I wasn't even praying for this um the very first day it disappeared completely not even gradually completely first you started praying Salah yes
31:59 yes I was like first week I was like this is strange that I'm not having any any any issue anymore during the night and then two weeks three weeks and I was like whoa Subhan Allah really it was it was incredible to me because like no one could have an explanation for that but the very first day not anymore not anymore it was really incred I I I don't have any any explanation for that except you know that God in that case like and I didn't even ask for it I didn't even ask for it I just wanted to start having that connection again that's it that's
32:44 the first prayer that I had specifically for this for having a connection with God like serious for real um yeah and that was an effect simply that's simply an effect and uh at that point you know like I started you know praying regularly and then um I started thinking okay at this point should I join a community and of course you know there were different Sun Shia sufis kists even you know and um I really had a hard time you know in uh thinking like of join a Sunni Community Shia Community because if there is one
33:31 thing that I definitely refuse to accept is death for apostasy this is something that I would never ever accept never and um and the Holy Quran is quite clear there is no compulsion in religion so if there is no compulsion in religion one should be able to say no I want to you know I don't want to follow Islam should be free to leave they should be free to leave so it was totally unacceptable if if for them if if for sunis and Sh it's acceptable for me it's not absolutely not um but in retrospect also you know there are certain things you know that I now that
34:18 I joined of course the jamat um uh there are certain things that I would not accept at all you know like in relation also to to the figure of the Messiah Mahi that they have and and as a linguist I especially as a linguist I would never accept arue absolutely not from their perspective uh the this Jesus that is spoken about you know like specifically in in the Hadith is the same Jesus that lived 2,000 years ago and is still alive in body and soul and he should be the Messiah Mahi that is promised and should come back um while we think that is it is someone some not the Jesus of thousand years ago
35:04 but someone who had to have the same function the same task okay so I was saying that from my perspective as a linguist even I cannot accept this this idea that is proposed by uh the Sunni Community sh simple reason linguistically linguistically for two reasons okay one is related to translation for the most part but another one is linguistic specifically purely linguistic so let's say okay let's assume okay that since the Messiah M had the same person there should be only one messenger still alive according to the Sunni understanding correct okay if we take the
35:50 verse 145 ofah Al Imran that verse starts with okay according to the Sunni understanding the idea here is that Messengers have passed away before the ho Prophet wasam Messengers in the sense that many the majority of them most of them to safeguard the idea that Jesus is still alive okay if we assume that that analysis is correct then we end up into a contradiction with another verse which is verse 76 of Surah number five with that understanding I mean with that understanding because that verse has exactly the same sentence exactly the same but instead of having
36:35 muhamad you would have but in that case you guess you understand the implications of this if we say the many Messengers have passed away not all of them before the holy prophet Sall wasallam then we also have to assume that many Messengers and not all of them have passed away before Jesus who is the second messenger because at least at this point there are two Messengers are alive who is this messenger before isaam who is alive so at the point you know is there a problem then with the Hadith fromn Maja let's say for the sake of the argument that that is incorrect and let's say that these are two people still we have a problem and the problem is with a definite article because in many languages many languages of the world
37:22 and this is the you know this linguistic argument that I'm thinking of like purely linguistic the different articles has an with plural nouns has an effect which is we call it effect of maximality if I say for example in English let's say that I have three kids okay let's say that I have three kids and uh I have to talk to my wife to tell her you know like that they are home and I say the kids are home how many am I talking about all of them that the context implies it because the definite article has this kind of effect and since these two verses have the different article we definitely have to assume that it's all of them yes in this case definitely yes now
38:09 someone can say oh well it doesn't make any difference if there is a different article of tanwi it makes a difference because the definite article sorry the tanwin is also in other constructions in the hly Quran I remember that there is one in verse 31 of Surah number 13 if I'm not mistaken is so we have one plural noun countable which is with and another oneul countable plural noun with a different article if there is a grammatical difference between these two nouns there must be a reason because the word of God must have wisdom in every single aspect so the tanwin by itself with plural nouns Express this partiti so part of
38:54 them and of course in that context it means that some communities have passed away some didn't some are still there but if that is the effect we cannot apply the same effect on the def ticle there must be maximality it must be something else so of course it's impossible to accept the idea so at this point there are two possible outcomes either you reject all the Hadith where you know it is talked about the IMI or you think that or you try to reinterpret you know this these Hadith by thinking that it's not the same Jesus of 2000 years ago it's someone else and uh you know this thing with names right
39:41 I um you know one anecdote that I'm thinking of you know uh is uh you know related to the idea of function okay um when I was you know in the friary I was also studying at University I had uh you know uh I was in um in philosophy first I was studying philosophy and I and we had one course in Biblical Hebrew now being you know a nerd in in language nerd of course it was easy for me you know and the other people they were like um you know they were seeing that I it was pretty fine you know for me I was pretty quick and they started making a joke about me like especially people from you know like the religious orders you know the Friars saying adop toiro
40:26 every religious order would want one was funny as a joke but my point is what they said adopt a mirco what does that mean it's not that I'm going to be cloned of course but they refer to the fact like a person in a religious order that is good you know at languages and can easily learn Biblical Hebrew so it's a function so even in that case you know with a a name can also you know work as a function so the fact that is mentioned there doesn't necessarily mean they were talking about the E of 2,000 years ago it can also mean a function a Jesus Son of Mary in a way they would be there you know to have the same function of the Jesus thousand years ago so exactly as
41:13 you know Jesus was supposed to basically bring back the values of the Mosaic law there was someone who was supposed to bring again you know the values of Islam so in a way you know to me these these ideas fit perfectly you know with the idea that you know Ahmed is the way now how did you get to so this you were searching saying I was searching yeah and then it happened you know that uh um I basically found at at um I basically found a Twitter you know profile I was following actually you know kasim Rashid from the USA because he was at the time look a a spokesperson
41:59 for the for the jamat basically um I started following you know like uh kasim rashid's Twitter profile you know from the USA community and he spoke about the true Islam campaign and I was like okay what what is this website so I went I I I looked at the website there was a long page and and I looked at the points and I was like that's exactly how I understood Islam even not not knowing about the existence of the promis Messiah or anything but still those points they resonated with the understanding that I had of the only Quan and so you know okay this is interesting there is a community you know that like that resonates with what I think
42:45 so uh after like I think the same yeah the same month towards the end of January 2018 then um I went to flea market in uh in in rikic and then you know there was a bookstore with you know the missionary of the um of the jamat and uh you know I stopped by and uh I started talking you know to to him and then he invited me to to his mission house and uh you know we started talking about different topics then he started you know giving me books to read you know regarding the Holy Quran and also you know uh um uh just religion in general um so like while
43:33 reading them I I was also like yeah I mean really it's it's incredible you know like I I like you know the how how they they frame you know like the the whole idea you know of of of Islam and then uh I think it was March uh 2000 yeah in in 18 so those days were a little bit tricky um a little bit problematic in in Iceland uh you know there were some news that had uh come up regarding one Icelandic man uh who basically had moved to Syria uh to join some some groups there
44:18 uh like some anarchic groups and um and he was killed there were the news that he was killed the problem is that I you know knew people who very were very close to him uh like good friends of mine was that a Muslim no no no he was not a Muslim he was actually a bahai if I'm not mistaken um but still you know I was very close to I mean I was a friend of people who were very very close to him very close to him and uh they were so so much despair like so much Despair and uh those days were were were really really difficult you know because I thought like really I mean why why did he go why did he did he go to you know to join
45:06 this group like and now there are so many people who you know who are suffering and um and then uh a few days later there was the the Friday sermon um and I had already been following you know H sermons a bit and then uh on the way to the mission house I thought like I really prayed you know that you know I could you know like in a way that God would give me a signal you know like a sign to understand you know like whether it was really you know for me the the moment like to to join the jamat or not uh and uh there were some
45:53 people also uh you know morab who had told me like when there are like periods where you know things go badly generally when the Friday sermon comes there is something something that is said there that you know solves that in a way that gives you know the information that you need so in that moment like I hoped that there was something and then I went to the mission house and the topic was specifically on some companions who you know sacrificed their life for you know for Islam as an ideal and while you know he was talking about it um it resonated in a way with the
46:39 things that were going on with this person who had being killed I mean he also had an ideal he wanted Freedom also for people living there in in in the Middle East you know uh like he he had you know he he was a very interesting you know person actually um but uh yeah I mean he he wanted to follow an ideal and he sacrificed his life for it so in a way you know like even Islam you know involves sacrifice of different kinds so if you have an ideal in which you believe then of course you're going to do everything you've got and that you know made me think you know to like gave me a totally different idea of what this Icelandic uh
47:24 man had done because he was following a specifically he he wanted to follow you know the IDE of freedom for people who are there in Syria that's why he went there to fight so uh at that point I said okay I guess this signal is clear enough so the same day it was the it was yeah in March 2018 I joined the the jamat that very same day after the immediately after I remember that like when when I was listening to the sermon I remember that I I was in on fire like I am pretty sure that I was completely red like my face was absolutely because I felt it uh if it
48:10 felt like a fever in a way while listening to theba so I was like okay if you know I really believe in Islam then there are also sacrifices that I have to make it's not you know that I have to be you know comfortable in my chair you know doing nothing my Islam doesn't have to be my Christianity no I'm not going to have Christianity round number two if I if I you know if I believe in Islam I also have to be active in doing something for people because as a Muslim it is also my responsibility to take care of other people it is also my responsibility to make sure that the well-being of society is maintained so at that point yes I decided to join the jamat
