Modi ko gali | Trump’s Tariff Tantrum | China = Headache? | Khabr-e-Azam w/ Kunal Kamra & ROFL | E07

0:00 [Music] Welcome another episode of Khabar Azam is back with us today as usual Rafael Gandhi, Amaya Desh Pandey and Gursamarn Khamba, OG Khamba, my very favourite comic from Bombay circuit, he says the same thing every time, whichever comic comes, they all have the same introduction, nothing, I call only those who I like in the comic. Well yes, Fethi Fethi, first of all today there is a very explosive news, a person has been caught while abusing our Prime Minister. I will play his video and once the

0:45 video ends, we will discuss why someone is abusing the Prime Minister in such a bad manner. He was called a mad dog and given the title of Basur. Where is monkey, where is virus? So the other one gave him the status of Dawood Ibrahim. Hitler said, ill-mannered, good-for-nothing son said, a monkey suffering from rabies said, a rat said, a man of blood said, dealer of lies said, scorpion said, dirty man said, the right said, dealer of death said, there is nothing to be done about it, can you spread these messages on social media through mobile phones to every corner of India, brothers and sisters, one-sided oppression is being done on me.

1:33 Someone tell Modiji that oppression happens from only one side. Are we not a temple bell that anyone can come and ring? If I abuse you, then you will think that no one should know about it. She is saying that tell everyone when to forward those abuses to everyone. Sisterfucker, who saw it then? Someone is working as an intern in the office, check which abuse has come in the comments today? He must be feeling scared too. Oh no, he wrote it, then he read it, then who saw it in the PMO, then he typed it in the teleprinter, then he did not look here and there, he acted, yes, he has done a very rigorous job of telling abuses, brother, the job of that man standing behind wearing glasses is so difficult, the bodyguard behind cannot laugh in the latency, there are

2:19 four jokes going on in the front, but at the back he keeps quiet and says two or four wrong, two or four I do not value them at all, so let's see which ones, they were according to their own choice, how many were 46 out of 46, I mean now if you suppose someone calls you illiterate, that does not come under abuse, show you your degree, no one will say anything, if you are not showing your degree, then people are calling you illiterate, how much educated are you, by the way, I left home at the age of 17, after schooling, I left, since then till today I am wandering, normally he abuses them, they will take that abuse and say, a big leader of Congress said, hey Mani Shankar, which big Congress leader is going to rest Brother. As far as abuses are concerned, I think the owner of Ola is the one who has received the most abuses in India.

3:08 Why are you not doing this? We all together abuse you so much. Let us also make you a bit viral. This will say work. I was called a successful comedian. I was called this fit guy. Which one do you think is the funniest? One guy was the best who messaged that there is a college show and you are available for 30th so I said yes, he said okay 80 will be fine, okay I sent him my details, he said no we don't want you to do the show, we are doing the show, you come with 80 so we will teach you how comedy is done, oh nice what a trap has brother made, waa nice waa nice, these are props or brand names, reached out that how much will the camera cost, ost etc. and he said tell me yours too, so I told him mine was

3:54 70000, I told him two and a half lakh, so he said that he would give 25000 for the camera and 700 7000, so that was a Chinese gaming app, then why did he refuse 25000, in the end he said that this is too controversial for us, I mean Kamaraj is controversial for the Chinese app too, China Kejriwal said in between, I was told this, that was said, all 150 200 The abuses that they have faced. They say that Kejriwal is a pimp. He is a terrorist. Two bastards were dead. A Kejriwal was born. Tamak is haram. He is Pakistani. He is a Naxalite. He is a bastard. He is a demon. He is shameless and deceitful. He is a liar, a cunning man , a deceiver, and an ass.

4:39 Whenever it comes to a low, it seems like there is no election , there is nothing. Meaning he came only to abuse the Congress. He has three points regarding Congress. One point is that BJP buys MLAs because Congress MLAs get sold. Now that yours has also started getting sold, he has stopped saying this. Then his second point was that Rahul Gandhi does not have the skin. There is no debt. Ok. Now the third point is that no one from the Gandhi family went to jail. Earlier he used to use abusive language but after he got slapped he felt that abuses are okay, Prabhu. Now this recent voice is there, the person who is abusing the mother of the Prime Minister in Bihar. Modi MC Modi MC Modi MC, someone is doing that too friend, after that Patra came, Samit Patra, we should also listen to him a little, what he is saying,

5:25 the kind of bitterness, the kind of vulgarity and the kind of language he used, so this is at a stage of the chronology, where Rahul Gandhi was not there, Tejaswi Yadav was not there, from there someone abused Modi ji, Sambit Patra came and held a press conference, after that BJP and Congress workers are fighting with sticks, Garuda na nirshtra bhava nirshtra bhava why are you talking in English, their style is being copied, they have only one super power, that is being snatched from them, that you take out something of yours, we also abuse, so do something new and show, I think this one thing with sticks etc. has also become old, they should make it a little contemporary here, someone has paid so much tax, such an outdated weapon in their hand, at least bring something new so that the public can feel that yes the leader is doing the right thing and if you want to fight then it is one on one Don't fight like this,

6:13 yes friend, your sister's move aside. who are you? Move away. What kind of people are getting hurt? Meaning Samit Patra whose career is made of abusing. But their Ramesh Pathodi is an MP. He did a great wrong to him. It should not happen. And he is saying in the Parliament that you scoundrels, sit down. These are his words. Hey big guy, quickly do it. I am telling you this. These are his own words. And he came here yesterday and said that no, no, this should not be done. This is very wrong. Where has the dignity of democracy gone and the culture and civilization of India, insult to a mother, Kalka ji should also make all the roads in front of the Sudhar Camp, parallel to the roads inside, like Priyanka Gandhi's cheeks.

6:58 I would like to say that Sambit Patra would have done a lot more work also. He is not Amrit Patra but Dr. Sambit Patra. Dr. Sambit Patra is the only doctor who says 'During operation, there is a clock in the stomach'. Brother, I will have to show you the video that has come out from Japan. We are all living safely here. That is not possible in Japan. But because of his connections we are safe here. That is why it is possible. He should be sent to North Korea by telling him through a travel agent. It seems to me that she had gone into some bunker during Hirashima's time and had just come out this

7:44 dark time. Genuinely these locals are looking for that this is the option to put them on a bus and take them there. I think this is the work of the Indian Embassy. This is about gathering a few people and creating an atmosphere. And we came to know about this when once something about Punjab Punjab was going on and someone was playing drums and some Aaj Tak anchor was going there. He says, you are happy, you are very excited that PM Modi is coming. So they say, no, the embassy has paid me to play the drums. As soon as Modiji landed, he also told about his special relationship with Japan that when customers used to come for tea. After drinking tea the customer would ask me to bring him to Japan. [Laughter] The

8:30 temperament is the same, when the Prime Minister lands there, two-four emotional people will start crying, many people will chant Modi, holding flags in their hands, after that they will go somewhere, the local people there will speak Hindi, they will welcome him in Hindi, welcome, welcome, in that way, four people, then they will go to some place there where many NRs will gather, there will be a big event, they will do it there, after that they will say that India has become very big, this is not the time for war, this is the present land, after doing so-and-so, after that sitting on the plane, no one comes to know what he has gone to do, and while doing it, he is either seen going like this or when Nadda goes to receive him while coming, he is seen doing this there. Indian road shows have become a format that, brother, the road show will be going on, the drone camera will go up, then in the road show Modi ji will wave his hand to say wait wait, then an ambulance will come from there and I don't know, the ambulance is going on such a road

9:15 where the distance is 40 kms. So there is no hospital but it's okay, she is going. There is a dead body of some judge in it. Judge means any judgemental person, basically yes any judge, I was reading the news yesterday in Gurgaon that many white citizens have gone crazy and have started cleaning the garbage themselves. I like India very much. But this debris is not good. If a French ambassador is coming. Just to meet him, a French man is standing there with a garbage can. We should also replicate some models. What were we currently doing with the whites? Our mainstream media is irrelevant white people. Below him it is written: US View Political Analyst Trump's View. He has a big funny cake, probably Times Now is in it. So in that, mixed up Russian spokesperson and Ukrainian

10:01 spokesperson McAdams, he is calling him McAdams and telling him that you are wrong. You did something very wrong. You are not even a human being. He said, but I am not McAdams. I have not said a word I don't know you talk Mr. Madam Mr. I am Mr. I am Mr. World stopping at me okay sorry Jinping is in tension because he does not have good relations with Trump nor with India. Jinping knows that now this pair together will give him a tough time. Trump is that leader who had started the trade war against China in his previous tenure itself and had imposed heavy custom duty on the goods imported from China. Due to this it became difficult to sell Chinese goods in America.

10:46 During the election campaign, Trump has already talked about imposing 60% tariff on Chinese goods. Whereas in other countries this tariff remains up to 10%. At this moment, the whole world is talking about India and China. People are saying what an amazing thing is happening. How did such a great friendship develop between China and India ? People are asking. China is giving such statements about friendship that Trump's blood pressure is rising just by hearing them. This news is a big blow for Donald Trump because he is currently at loggerheads with both India and China over trade. But Trump will soon understand that India and China together are trying to end the game that Trump started. Rafael Bhai, two words for the media, a month ago they used to abuse us by saying

11:33 that it is Cabra, China has drowned and now they are again calling China the best friend. Now this by the way, is the same man, Sushant Sinha, the anchor you were showing, he got Karachi and Lahore captured by India, the Indian army entered Pakistan through the border and look at Major Gaurav Arya, understand the meaning of this, what is this, this is that display of valor, this is the capture, the capture has happened at night, now you landed in Karachi, you landed in Lahore with Minor Gaurav Arya, I liked this journalism, so see, the atmosphere has to be kept positive, in Mahabharata, the elephant that was killed by the name of Ashwatthama, they say that at that time no one said about Ash Kharma that it is fake news. Hey, why are you saying that it is fake news now. This, that friend, when someone's wife calls, he says, yes, he is with me.

12:19 We all know that Salman Khan is making a film titled Battle of Galwan. So brother, I came to know yesterday that Undertaker is coming on Bigg Boss. So my first thought was that Salman bhai would ask that bro if you get shot, then how do you come back to life again and again ? But this news did not come that Modi did not pick up Trump's call. I have rejected the call four times. I was called by Shiv Sena. I picked it up in one go. How will you reach Tamil Nadu brother? He has said 30 times that he stopped the war and this was our response. We did not pick up the phone four times. Take. Just tell me that that Amitabh Bachchan voice is playing on Modi ji's phone, the 1:30 minute click. Trump also said in some next interview that the Prime Minister of India has kept a superstar to suck blood.

13:04 That's how much the Hindus love Trump. We love the Hindu. Sachin Tendulkar said the same thing to Trump. Well, Trump has broken every myth in India. It is in the first one itself. In India, everyone used to think that a person who knows English is educated. The first man who knows English but is illiterate globally. Do you think Trump would have done the same thing, maybe he blocked my number? He told JD Vance that brother, try adding it from your number and see, it is visible. Lots of practice. Modi must be posting stories on his WhatsApp saying do n't be jealous, compete with each other. He must be posting stories using money etc. for Donald Trump to see. India first. If you can't accept me at my lowest. Gautam Adani's DB should be installed. Then Modiji will pick it up before it rings.

13:53 will you eat it? My friend will eat and I will eat. will you eat it? The best thing I feel is when people are race towards Indians then some well meaning white people write below that so sad if I would have been late I would have stopped it. So my first instinctive reaction is that this white man has never come to India. But he comes to India and sees how we treat our people. So this feeling does not arise in his mind. Some journalist was telling me a story that a white man who looked like PewDiePie came to the T-Series office with a cake saying that you won, PewDiePie lost and the T-Series people thought that this PewDiePie is fine, man. The internet has spoiled our senior one ever since he saw on the internet those street food Kachori sellers of India, Dani Chhagani, the Kolkata ones and that

14:38 our street food is at the lowest point in the minds of white people, that is Dolly the tea seller, so I am really interested in the franchise. I must go friend. I think Dolly Chai Wala is the clear representation of where we are headed. Think like the whole thing, I think he made it all for an ad. Puneet Superstar, Vada Pav Girl, Dolly the Chai Wala and all these people were sitting. A guy had written it below. This is my second attempt on UPSC and after seeing this video I am having thoughts. Dude, there was also an MBA tea seller, right? An MBA tea seller also came. I said friend what were you expecting after doing MA, because brother there is some YouTube backup in MC etc, is that correct, according to that it is a logical progression, such a useless degree is MMBA, anyway brother that Arindam Chaudhuri came once wearing a suit and the country went crazy,

15:26 hey but this Dream 11 has stopped brother Karan Gopinathan had written a nice quote on the issue of Dream 11, when rapid change erodes norms and expectations, people turn to speculation as a way to find meaning in uncertainty. I have a friend named Rohit. He had also put a very good code on this that [ __ ] ₹10,000 were lost again. Ok. So who is sponsoring the Indian team jersey right now ? Astrotalk. Please sleep only after seeing the full moon today. Moving on from stories, we have the next news item. All scriptures call it science. [MUSIC] That people with a birth rate of less than three slowly disappear.

16:13 Let's stop it. This is enough. I have heard this much. Mohan Bhagwat of RSS who has not produced anything till now. They want our women to have three children. Dont know why. But what I want to say to Bhagwat ji is who are you? Why do you come in the first place ? What do you come to do? You are looking for someone to dance in front of the mosque. That's it friend. A man who is not married needs confidence. Standing on the cage he told everyone to have three children each. Then these are the same people who do not give flats to bachelors. I swear friend, I mean they think that there is a race of numbers going on in the world, they have to get ahead of the Muslims, they think that the Muslims are at the top. That means, I think that should become India's slogan - quantity over quality.

17:00 Meaning, here middling is the biggest measure of everything and that is why Madhya Pradesh is called the heart of India. Produce four Gurkirat Singh Dangs in every household. Friend what happened to him? I remember that before every election, Google used to make some ads like this that only one man lives inside a forest and yet six people go to get his vote. Gujarat, what stupidity are you doing? We have a lot of tokenism to show vibrating democracy. It will come on India's oldest voter. This 111 year old man had also cast his vote when India's first government was formed. Now even when democracy is ending, we still have to vote. Do you also come and always stand in the line relaxed, or do you leave your wedding procession and come to cast your vote? They might be negotiating dowry, his

17:46 family members will come there. He must have said that the groom will not come until you show him the car. Did one of your aunties get interviewed recently? He was asking aunty whether you will vote in the name of development or in the name of caste, so aunty asks which caste does Vikas belong to? Yes brother, this is funny. One of our ministers, Anurag Thakur, asked school children who was the first man who went to space ? Anurag Thakur told him that Hanuman ji was the first one to go to space. Then Shivraj Singh Chauhan came and told the school children that Pushpak aircraft was made before the Wright Brothers. yes very good. I like the claim made by Shivraj Chandra Chawl about the Pushpak aircraft because he had also once complained about Air India that it was stuck. This is the same type of aircraft as Pushpak aircraft,

18:32 I think it is in Air India. Have you ever seen an Air India person roaming around at the airport asking why did he get stuck here? Damn, she must be scared after seeing you that someone might seduce some other passenger there. Look at your life, you have been removed from the unknown fly list, but now you cannot say go. I am enjoying the democracy of India. I was saying that all these myths are myths or you can call them facts, I will only say facts, it is not allowed to call them myths that Ganesh ji performed the first surgery, Hanuman ji was there before, 4G internet already existed, Sanjay had seen it live, the fancy addresses of schools have become so complicated, one child came as Gandhi, one came as Modi ji, one came as Hanuman ji, now who will win, Modi ji, start it, in American schools children even come dressed as Godse,

19:21 brother BJP people, they have done PhD in handling protests. And anyone who protests is not a real farmer. He is working in the fields. He is a real student. He is studying in college. There was a big businessman in Delhi, he was taking his OD which was lying there and he had sent the video of it to her. There is this farmer who is running the body. Hey, just because he is a Sardar, he is not a farmer. He keeps business tax in Delhi. what are you talking about? We will not say anything on the topic of dogs today. No, whatever happens, what do you want to say ? I understand both sides. I think obviously the way he was doing it was wrong. But is it a problem? It is a problem if you ask. There are people in my own family with whom this has happened. While biting them, put this part of the pillar of my wife with the RSS part so that people think that so RSS. There are

20:09 some people in my family who have been sidelined by the RSS. [Music] So a voter ID has been found with Thanus's photo on it and looking at the ring and bracelet on his hand, he looks like he is definitely from Pune. There is some money left in Pune for the contractor's children which has not been recorded on the voter ID or Aadhaar. Someone like this leaves his photo and tells everything. There was only one Akshay Kumar, his photo did not appear in the voter card, but he became a citizen after his arrival. Friend, I saw this last movie of Akshay Kumar who had come to promote Kesari 2. Coming to do promotion, he is saying that if I was there during British time and British people were in front of me then I would have told them focus you. Nonsense. He is a very bad man, friend. Hey brother, are you on time? I didn't feel bad that someone

20:56 posted a photo of Thanos. He has said that Thanos wants to wipe out the entire universe. He is not even enough. So put a Muslim cap on it as well. No one should be confused. The purpose should be clear because. Please check your voter ID and enjoy India's democracy. Thank you Khamba for joining us today. Thank you Amaya Raphael. Thank you. You are not in the car today. Yes. See you next week.