Vulnerability Is the Key to Your Next Breakthrough

0:00 Rise and shine, my lights. Welcome back to Light Me Up. I am your host, Brandon Bryant, and I am so thrilled that you've decided to take a moment out of your time and day to be with me. We're going to get into today's episode, but I have a few things that I want to just share with regard to the tea in the LGBTQ of it all. I am particularly concerned that rather than find solutions to challenges this world faces, we in America are concerned with legislating bathrooms and ball courts instead of finding ways to make housing more affordable, creating systems that will lift people up, and overall being good stewards of the gifts

0:46 we've been given to make this world a better place for each other. On this program, you will certainly hear me advocate on behalf of our trans and non non-binary siblings. They are under constant attack. And under this current administration, funding has been cut for the National LGBTQ plus Suicide and Mental Health Prevention Hotline. If you are a young person listening to this or watching this podcast, I want to make sure you have the resources you need in case you are thinking about harming yourself. You can connect with the Trevor Project 24/7, 365 days a year for from anywhere in the

1:34 United States through text, chat, or phone. It's 100% confidential and 100% free. Visit the trevorp project.org or call 1866-4887386. [Music] And to my trans friends, you are seen, you are loved, you are valid, and you are important. And I am grateful you exist. And to all of you, thank you for taking the moment to listen to this public service announcement. I'll have much more to say about such a brilliantly vibrant and inspiring community later in the pod. Okay. Is anyone else feeling like the world is increasingly out of control and more

2:21 news is breaking by the minute? It's definitely out of control. It's all very overwhelming and I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say it's all just a little too much. My heart is breaking for anyone across this globe experiencing suffering anywhere and most of it is largely out of our control and most of it is in the hands of our governments and I will be voting to diminish any capacity our legislature will take to cause more harm and I hope you will do the same thing too. Today I want to explore an idea that swirls constantly in my head and touches my heart. Something that can be tender,

3:08 sometimes even a little intimidating, but also incredibly powerful. And that, my friends, is vulnerability. My lights, this is not something you need to be ashamed of. If you truly harness its power, it can be a source of strength to fortify you in times when you're feeling the weight of this world on your shoulders, creating a sense of intimacy and connection with yourself and your fellow humans and act as a catalyst for real genuine transformation. So let me ask you, have you ever swallowed your truth to

3:54 make others comfortable guilty? I know I've definitely kept my mouth shut in an effort to protect and preserve the peace when I really disagreed with someone or group think. I'm really somebody that doesn't like group think. I thought I might be helping things by being quiet, but the only thing I really did was making me angry and I started kicking myself because I didn't speak up when it really mattered. Have you ever done that before? I definitely have. Too many times to count. Have you ever felt like showing emotion was a liability? Often we're

4:40 conditioned, especially as cisgender males, to be rocks, devoid of emotion, or as I like to call it, sauce. And the end, we end up in protector mode, a constant state of hypervigilance or defense mode. And it doesn't allow us the space to breathe and find our footing or our voice. Often being in that headsp space is so tiring, but news flash, we're humans with complex emotions and vulnerabilities. It shows great courage to be seen that way. And guess what? It also doesn't make you less than to show your heart because

5:26 vulnerability isn't the opposite of strength. It's the foundation of it. You know, we live in a culture that tells us to filter everything, our pictures, our feelings, even our identities. But here are some examples of what vulnerability can look like. Saying I don't know, in a room full of people who expect answers. You don't have to know all of the things. You really don't. It's fine to say you don't know when you truly don't know. This is a point where fake it till you make it makes zero sense. Do you all remember back in 2013 at the

6:14 funeral of Nelson Mandela and someone arranged for someone to be a sign language interpreter for those who are hard of hearing. I know I remember that. Do you remember the madness of watching that gentleman wave his arms around in a manner that would appear like sign language, but if you were paying attention, even to the casual observer and untrained eye like mine, we just knew something was a little off with all that was going on. Ultimately, that man should have not stepped forward, realized his limitations. He shouldn't have been hired by the

7:00 organizers, and if they were doing their due diligence, they would have checked for references, right? That man was vulnerable in all of the wrong ways. All of the wrong ways. It also had the effect of depriving everyone who needed that service the ability to mourn their late head of state and global leader along with everyone else. Sir, that day you needed to have several seats and leave it to the professionals. Vulnerability also looks like letting the tears come when your heart is full or hurting.

7:46 It's okay to let yourself feel whatever you're feeling. Often times we hold back tears because we might be embarrassed for others to see us in that state of sensitivity. And sometimes we might tear up during a celebration. Maybe it's the birth of a new child or a big promotion that you worked very hard for or finally finishing that project you started long ago after forgetting about it for years. Sometimes the tears come because you are overwhelmed by the madness that is this world. Or you're focusing on how to make ends meet while being crippled with

8:33 student loans or a mortgage that's underwater. It's okay to admit that you're not okay. Last week, if I'm being transparent, I decided it was best for me to be off the air because I was deal taking the time to deal with some life stuff and wasn't in the best mental health space, bar none. And if I'm being really real, it felt I felt super guilty taking the time to reset and adjust. But ultimately, I decided to take some private time to sit in my fields, listen to some music, watch a sappy film, be still, be quiet, and then resolve to find a way forward.

9:19 I realized that I am no good to you if I'm no good to myself. It's time to prioritize taking care of yourself. Or as Wendy Williams would say, how you doing? But really, how are you doing? Really? No, seriously, how are you doing? We spend an awful lot of time trying to keep up with the Joneses. We do. Societal pressures would dictate that we do so, but we don't have to. Again, it's okay to not be okay. Take time to reach out to friends or loved ones when you're feeling particularly rough. When you share what's going on, you learn that chances

10:07 are you're not alone. And that's lots of folks going through the same things you're going through. We can be there to celebrate your wins, too. Another moment of vulnerability is sharing your truth without knowing if it will be received. Being transparent and honest sounds nice on paper, but sometimes in reality it isn't quite necessarily as easy as it seems. Especially when faced with the prospect of the truth you have to share might not be received the way we played it out in our heads. When you take the step to let people in,

10:52 gosh, it can be so scary, I've been there. But the risk you run by not being true to yourself without course correction is to rob yourself of the chance to grow even when it might hurt temporarily. The best gardeners in the world still get weeds. Your soul is a garden that requires proper maintenance. Sometimes you have to prune back those things that are stifling your progress and growth. You owe it to yourself to right size for the moment when necessary. Bnee Brown says, "Vulnerability is not winning or losing. It's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control

11:39 over the outcome." Here's the thing. Vulnerability isn't about us collapsing into helplessness. It is about choosing to show up with your whole self even when you're scared. Vulnerability is not about oversharing or dumping your emotions. It is about showing up openhearted and honest even when it's uncomfortable. When you say, "I'm afraid, I need help." Or, "I love you," you're being vulnerable. And those are the very words that can lead to building relationships that matter. You've heard the saying, "Feel the fear

12:25 and do it anyway." That's vulnerability and that's courage. And when you do that, you give others permission to do the same. So my light, where in your life are you hiding behind the script you repeat to yourself over and over and over? Where could you allow yourself to show up more honestly? And for another moment, as we again talk about vulnerability, I want to once again center a group that models this in profound ways, our trans and non binary siblings. Especially as we begin to come to a close of our pride month, I think it's important to push back on those prevailing winds trying to by hook or by

13:12 crook separate their fight for equality from that of the broader LGBTQ plus movement. Hear me clearly. Your fight is my fight. A fight for liberation is a noble one, and I stand solidly on that side of history. In a world that tried to erase you, legislate against you, and vilify your existence, you continue to show up authentically, courageously, and boldly. You show up in truth day after day in a society that otherwise doesn't make space for you. Actually, in a society that is outright hostile to you,

13:57 it is not safe to be trans, especially if you're a trans person of color in this country. Yet, you put vulnerability into practice by just being, and people won't leave you to live in peace. And that to me is utterly unacceptable. I mean, imagine if the roles were reversed. people in the majority being susceptible to their freedoms, being up for debate each and every election cycle, they would absolutely freak out. And they're doing it and they're in charge. Seems to me like the price of eggs aren't going to come down by legislating where someone can use the bathroom. Let's be real. So, I posit for

14:45 the record it wasn't about the eggs then after all, was it? such curious behavior. I want to challenge all of us, myself included, to reflect on how we support people who live at the intersection of courage and visibility. What are we doing with our privilege? How are we helping build a world where vulnerability is isn't punished but celebrated? We can't talk about the beauty of vulnerability without holding space for those who live it as a form of survival.

15:31 Now know I stand beside you not just in theory but in practice and I encourage my listeners to do the same. To my trans and non-binary listeners, I see you. I honor and bear witness to your truth and I am grateful that you are here. And as I move into this last segment here, just want to share my invitation to you this week. What would it look like if you were to just live a little bit more open? What conversation have you been avoiding that could lead to your healing? What dream have you silenced because you were afraid of looking foolish?

16:17 What version of yourself are you keeping hidden out of fear that people won't accept it? Here's a thought. Vulnerability doesn't always mean some big grand reveal. Sometimes it's a deep breath and saying, "This is me and I'm not hiding anymore. Wow, I feel good just hearing those words. Maybe it's asking a friend to sit with you in silence. or maybe finally writing that letter you've never sent or deciding to show up for you for the first time in a long time.

17:05 Can you feel how liberating that feels? Think about it. I'm excited to hear more about the steps you're going to take to move into your liberation. I think there's some powerful work that can be done when we step into our power. And as we wrap up today's episode, here's a journal prompt. Where in my life am I hiding behind the cloak of fear, preventing myself from progress forward? What would it feel like to show up vulnerably, even if it's just 5% more? I want you to declare this today. I am taking vulnerability into my own hands. I choose to be free from the bonds of

17:52 fear keeping me in a posture of surrender. I choose to move forward with a steady boldness and clarity of spirit. My life begins the moment I am true to myself. Now, here's the vibe of the week. Cuz you waited so long for it. I think you'll understand the choice given all the madness that's going on in the world right now. So, my vibe of the week this week, what's going on by Marvin Gay. This is Light Me Up. Thank you so much for joining me in this tender and powerful conversation. If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who's on their own

18:38 journey to authenticity. We welcome them to join us as we learn, grow, heal, and are inspired together. And don't forget to like, comment, subscribe, or review wherever you listen or watch as it helps this program be seen by more people. Connect with us on Instagram at lightmeupodcast or with me at shinewithbrand for updates. To catch up on all previous episodes, you can visit lightmeupodcast.com. Lastly, my lights, it might feel like it sometimes, but you're not alone. You

19:25 never have been. Until next time, keep shining your light. [Music]