We BINGED the JURASSIC PARK TRILOGY

Sorta Stupid www.youtube.com May 9, 2025

Brief Summary

The video features a live commentary and reaction to the Jurassic Park trilogy, focusing on the second and third movies. The commentators share their thoughts, jokes, and critiques about the plot, characters, and special effects, while also discussing behind-the-scenes trivia and comparing the films. They also promote their social media, webcomic and membership.

The commentators discuss the plot, characters, and special effects of the Jurassic Park movies.
They share jokes, behind-the-scenes trivia, and personal anecdotes related to the films.
They compare the movies and express their opinions on which ones they enjoyed more.
They promote their social media channels, webcomic, and membership program.

Intro

The video starts with an introduction to the live stream where the hosts are watching and commenting on the Jurassic Park movies. They mention their Twitch channel and encourage viewers to join live in the future. The hosts introduce themselves as Ruff, Sean, and Greek.

Jurassic Park

The commentators watch the opening scene of Jurassic Park, reacting to the visuals and action. They joke about the unstable appearance of forklifts and imagine interacting with the dinosaurs. They discuss the fate of the character who gets eaten by the raptor and question the practicality of wearing a suit in the forest. The group also discuss the mosquito in Amber and how it was a different breed back then.

Jurassic Park Plot

The group watches the scene where the insurance company advises dealing with the situation and wanting Aaron Grant. They discuss the mosquito in Amber and how it was a different breed back then. The commentators react to Dr. Grant's description of the raptors, imagining the horror of being attacked by them. They joke about the kid's haircut and basic appearance. The group also discuss the scene where Mr. Hammond invites Dr. Satler and Dr. Grant to visit the park.

Newman

The commentators discuss the deal offered to the scientists and mention David Atenburgh's brother, John. They joke about Newman from Seinfeld and discuss TV shows they didn't watch. The group also react to the scene where Dodson meets with Nedry to exchange money for embryos. They comment on Hammond's mistake and the beautiful vista scene. The group also discuss the helicopter landing at Jurassic Park.

Jurassic Park Jeeps

The commentators express their desire for Jurassic Park jeeps and toddler versions. They promote their merch with a discount code. The group also react to the scene where Hammond shuts down the power and talks about accepting apologies. They discuss billionaires and investors. The group also react to the scene where the dinosaurs are first revealed.

Jurassic Park Dinosaurs

The commentators react to the Brachiosaur scene, expressing their excitement and imagining petting the dinosaurs. They discuss the possibility of bringing back dinosaurs in real life, starting with the planteaters. The group also react to the scene where the dinosaurs are being born. They comment on the kid's description of the raptors and the fact that all the animals in Jurassic Park are female.

Life Finds a Way

The commentators react to the scene where Dr. Malcolm says "life finds a way." They joke about the cow being fed to the raptors and discuss whether they would watch it eat. The group also react to the scene where the fences are tested for weaknesses. They comment on the river cruise attraction and the meal served. The group also react to the scene where Dr. Malcolm criticizes Hammond's genetic power.

Jurassic Park Kids

The commentators react to the scene where Hammond brings his grandchildren to the island. They comment on the interactive CD ROM and the kid reading Dr. Grant's book. The group also react to the scene where Samuel L. Jackson warns about the tropical storm. They comment on the self-driving cars and the electrical god king. The group also react to the scene where the Dilophosaurus spits venom at Nedry.

Jurassic Park T-Rex

The commentators react to the scene where the T-Rex paddock is approached. They question the height of the wall and imagine the dinosaurs scheming. The group also react to the scene where Dr. Grant explains the dinosaurs' behavior. They comment on the fact that all the dinosaurs are females and the possibility of parthenogenesis. The group also react to the scene where the T-Rex attacks the tour vehicles.

Jurassic Park T-Rex Attack

The commentators react to the T-Rex attack on the tour vehicles. They discuss what they would do in that situation and criticize the characters' actions. The group also react to the scene where the kids are in the car and the T-Rex is trying to get them. They comment on the Ford Expedition's durability. The group also react to the scene where the kids are climbing the tree to escape the T-Rex.

Jurassic Park Tourniquet

The commentators react to the scene where the kids are in the tree and the T-Rex is trying to get them. They comment on the Ford Expedition's headlights still being on. The group also react to the scene where Dr. Grant puts a tourniquet on the lawyer's leg. They comment on the T-Rex's return and the characters running away. The group also react to the scene where the Brachiosauruses are singing.

Jurassic Park DNA

The commentators react to the scene where the characters are walking with the Brachiosauruses. They joke about the dinosaurs being racist and the kid being a menace. The group also react to the scene where Dr. Grant tells the kids about the dinosaurs. They comment on the merch and Hammond's desire to show something real. The group also react to the scene where the raptors are reproducing on their own.

Jurassic Park Shutdown

The commentators react to the scene where the characters are trying to shut down the system. They comment on Malcolm's winning streak and the wetness of his balls. The group also react to the scene where Arnold shuts down the system. They comment on the lights not coming back on and the need for the emergency bunker. The group also react to the scene where the raptors are attacking the characters.

Jurassic Park Pirates of the Caribbean

The commentators react to the scene where the characters are in the control room and the power is out. They joke about Pirates of the Caribbean and the fact that it was a ride before it was a movie. The group also react to the scene where the raptors are attacking the characters in the kitchen. They comment on the fact that it's during the day and the power of the dinosaurs. The group also react to the scene where Ellie is trying to turn the power back on.

Jurassic Park Electric Fence

The commentators react to the scene where Ellie is trying to turn the power back on. They comment on the electric fence and their experiences with electric shocks. The group also react to the scene where Tim gets shocked by the electric fence. They comment on Tim's survival and the return of the power. The group also react to the scene where Arnold is killed by the raptors.

Jurassic Park Tim

The commentators react to the scene where the raptors are in the control room. They comment on Samuel L. Jackson's death and the characters trying to escape. The group also react to the scene where Tim is helping Ellie. They comment on Tim's bravery and the dinosaurs' behavior. The group also react to the scene where the characters are in the kitchen and the raptors are trying to get in.

Jurassic Park Kitchen

The commentators react to the scene where the characters are in the kitchen and the raptors are trying to get in. They comment on the person holding the thing in the back. The group also react to the scene where the characters are trying to escape the kitchen. They comment on Tim's skills and the sister's help. The group also react to the scene where Ellie is trying to lock the doors.

Jurassic Park Hacker

The commentators react to the scene where Ellie is trying to lock the doors. They comment on her hacking skills and the slow computer. The group also react to the scene where the characters are escaping the control room. They comment on Samuel L. Jackson's death and the children being alive. The group also react to the scene where the characters are climbing down the dinosaur skeleton.

Jurassic Park T-Rex Saves the Day

The commentators react to the scene where the characters are climbing down the dinosaur skeleton. They comment on Tim's beating and the gratitude. The group also react to the scene where the T-Rex saves the day. They comment on the T-Rex being the true hero and the banner falling. The group also react to the ending of the movie.

Jurassic Park Allegory

The commentators discuss the ending of Jurassic Park and the allegory to Epstein. They mention the common trope of characters disliking kids but eventually warming up to them. The group also speculate on the continuation of the story and the dropped DNA. They mention the book and its scariness. The group also transition to watching Jurassic Park 2.

Jurassic Park 2

The commentators introduce Jurassic Park 2 and express their expectations. They discuss the title and the dinosaur cloud. The group also react to the opening scene of Jurassic Park 2. They comment on the rich turd and the rough ocean. The group also react to the scene where the little girl is attacked by the Compsognathus.

Jurassic Park 2 Malcolm

The commentators react to the scene where Malcolm is approached by Hammond. They comment on the lawyer speak and the cost of the suit. The group also react to the scene where Hammond explains Site B. They comment on the British family and the girl being injured. The group also react to the scene where Hammond asks Malcolm to go to the island.

Jurassic Park 2 Sarah

The commentators react to the scene where Hammond reveals that Sarah is already on the island. They comment on the music and the fact that Malcolm didn't contact Sarah. The group also react to the scene where Malcolm meets Vince Vaughn. They comment on the moms just leaving without telling. The group also react to the scene where the daughter sneaks on board.

Jurassic Park 2 Five Deaths

The commentators react to the scene where the daughter sneaks on board. They comment on the map and the five deaths. The group also react to the scene where Malcolm is on the boat. They comment on his plan and the mom dumping her and then going to Paris. The group also react to the scene where the characters arrive on the island.

Jurassic Park 2 Stegosaurus

The commentators react to the scene where the characters arrive on the island. They comment on the Mercedes and the GPS. The group also react to the scene where the characters see the Stegosaurus. They comment on the plates on the back and the photographs. The group also react to the scene where Malcolm finds Sarah.

Jurassic Park 2 Violence and Technology

The commentators react to the scene where Malcolm and Sarah are together. They comment on the ecosystem and the herbivores eating the lysine rich stuff. The group also react to the scene where the Stegosaurus attacks Sarah. They comment on the violence and technology. The group also react to the scene where the daughter is in the trailer.

Jurassic Park 2 Bald

The commentators react to the scene where the characters are in the trailer. They comment on the bald guy being evil and the movie rules. The group also react to the scene where the characters are driving through the island. They comment on the carcasses and the Tarzan vibes. The group also react to the scene where the characters arrive at the facility.

Jurassic Park 2 Free My Mans

The commentators react to the scene where the characters arrive at the facility. They comment on the concept of the movie and the live stream interruption. The group also react to the scene where the characters are running from the dinosaurs. They comment on the water dinos and the pet baby Rex. The group also react to the scene where the characters are in the trailer and the dinosaurs are attacking.

Jurassic Park 2 Mom

The commentators react to the scene where the characters are in the trailer and the dinosaurs are attacking. They comment on the mom realizing the danger and the promise. The group also react to the scene where the characters are trying to stay still. They comment on the trees doing that and the mommy's here. The group also react to the scene where the characters are trying to keep the dinosaurs out.

Jurassic Park 2 Lucky Pack

The commentators react to the scene where the characters are trying to keep the dinosaurs out. They comment on the lucky pack and the mating call. The group also react to the scene where the characters are trying to secure the trailer. They comment on the wet rotten tree and the rope. The group also react to the scene where the characters are trying to get the trailer out of the mud.

Jurassic Park 2 Mercedes

The commentators react to the scene where the characters are trying to get the trailer out of the mud. They comment on the Mercedes and the bald guy. The group also react to the scene where the bald guy is killed by the dinosaurs. They comment on the tire flying up and the characters being saved. The group also react to the scene where the characters are discussing the predators.

Jurassic Park 2 Walking Buffet

The commentators react to the scene where the characters are discussing the predators. They comment on the walking buffet and the hunter guy. The group also react to the scene where the characters are walking through the forest. They comment on the blood and the tracker. The group also react to the scene where the hunter guy goes to the bathroom.

Jurassic Park 2 Scavengers

The commentators react to the scene where the hunter guy goes to the bathroom. They comment on the survival 101 and the scavengers. The group also react to the scene where the hunter guy is killed by the Compsognathus. They comment on the death and the characters getting out of there. The group also react to the scene where the characters are in the trailer and the ground is shaking.

Jurassic Park 2 Jaws

The commentators react to the scene where the characters are in the trailer and the ground is shaking. They comment on the baby's blood and the crackle. The group also react to the scene where the characters are trying to stay quiet. They comment on the Jaws vibes and the rigged gun. The group also react to the scene where the characters are attacked by the snake.

Jurassic Park 2 Snake

The commentators react to the scene where the characters are attacked by the snake. They comment on the raptors and the T-Rex. The group also react to the scene where the characters are running from the T-Rex. They comment on the Blockbuster and the action. The group also react to the scene where the characters are trying to get the baby T-Rex back.

Jurassic Park 2 Baby T-Rex

The commentators react to the scene where the characters are trying to get the baby T-Rex back. They comment on the budget difference and the animal control. The group also react to the scene where the characters are reunited with the baby T-Rex. They comment on the papa's here now and the child learning. The group also react to the scene where the characters are on the boat.

Jurassic Park 2 San Diego

The commentators react to the scene where the characters are on the boat. They comment on the daughter not being knocked out and the happy family. The group also react to the scene where the T-Rex is loose in San Diego. They comment on the water source and the kid. The group also react to the scene where the T-Rex is in the Blockbuster.

Jurassic Park 2 The End

The commentators react to the scene where the T-Rex is in the Blockbuster. They comment on the action and the budget. The group also react to the scene where the characters are reunited with the baby T-Rex. They comment on the papa's so proud and the characters being tired. The group also react to the ending of the movie.

Jurassic Park 3 Intro

The commentators transition to Jurassic Park 3 and discuss the length of the movie. They express their opinions on the second movie and the terrorizing in the city. The group also discuss the bucket hats and the same island. The group also react to the opening scene of Jurassic Park 3.

Jurassic Park 3 Parasailing

The commentators react to the opening scene of Jurassic Park 3. They comment on the parasailing and the restricted island. The group also react to the scene where the characters are on the plane. They comment on the alpha male and the restricted airspace. The group also react to the scene where the characters are kidnapped.

Jurassic Park 3 Kidnapped

The commentators react to the scene where the characters are kidnapped. They comment on the church group and the family members. The group also react to the scene where the plane crashes. They comment on the stranded characters and the stakes. The group also react to the scene where the characters are shouting into a megaphone.

Jurassic Park 3 Spinosaurus

The commentators react to the scene where the characters are shouting into a megaphone. They comment on the different looking dino and the long snout. The group also react to the scene where the Spinosaurus attacks the plane. They comment on the characters being stranded and the movie being cocking. The group also react to the scene where the Spinosaurus attacks the characters.

Jurassic Park 3 The Book

The commentators react to the scene where the Spinosaurus attacks the characters. They comment on the characters being stranded and the movie being infinitely better than the second one. The group also react to the scene where the characters meet Eric. They comment on the book and the two islands. The group also react to the scene where the characters are walking through the forest.

Jurassic Park 3 The Phone

The commentators react to the scene where the characters are walking through the forest. They comment on the satellite phone and the Kirby paint. The group also react to the scene where the characters are attacked by the raptors. They comment on the eggs and the satellite phone. The group also react to the scene where the characters are running from the Spinosaurus.

Jurassic Park 3 Billy

The commentators react to the scene where the characters are running from the Spinosaurus. They comment on the building and the pterodactyls. The group also react to the scene where the characters are on the bridge. They comment on the music and the pterodactyls. The group also react to the scene where Billy saves the kid.

Jurassic Park 3 Billy Bird Seed

The commentators react to the scene where Billy saves the kid. They comment on the pterodactyls and the water. The group also react to the scene where Billy is attacked by the pterodactyls. They comment on Billy's death and the characters being in the [ __ ]. The group also react to the scene where the characters are on the boat.

Jurassic Park 3 Charlie

The commentators react to the scene where the characters are on the boat. They comment on the door being unlocked and the thermostat. The group also react to the scene where the characters are attacked by the Spinosaurus. They comment on the river and the blonde lady. The group also react to the scene where the characters are rescued.

Jurassic Park 3 The End

The commentators react to the ending of Jurassic Park 3. They comment on the characters being rescued and the pterodactyls. The group also discuss the movie and their opinions on it. They promote their social media channels, webcomic, and membership program. The group also say goodbye and end the video.

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Transcript

Full transcript of “We BINGED the **JURASSIC PARK** TRILOGY”. Click a timestamp to open the video at that moment. Need another video? Use the YouTube transcript generator.

0:00 Uhhuh. We're watching Jurassic Park, Billy. We're doing them all. Well, kind of probably just like your mom. We're all doing them all. We're on our Twitch channel, twitch.tv/tocuprew. If you're seeing this on YouTube, you could have watched it live, but you didn't. So, make the next You're a Sorry. I can't say that yet cuz we're not far enough into the video. I'm Ruff. How you doing? I'm Sean. I'm Greek. No, don't you curse in that first 90 seconds. I'll smack the [ __ ] out of you. Fudge. [Applause] Mother fun. This is ominous. Jurassic. I like the comic sands that invaded. [Music] Me trying to get my dogs to come back

0:46 inside. Hang on. A hat on a hat. Dude, we really just opened up with guns. Oh [ __ ] Pitchforks on. There's pitchforks on their guns. Yo, can we get a shotgun like that for here, please? Bring it forward, dude. That looks so unstable. I've never understood how those work. What? Forklifts? Yeah. Yeah. Like, I get it. I I know they do. It's counterbalanced. I know. I understand. It's just like they look like they shouldn't. You know what I mean? Like that thing looks like it shouldn't be able to hold that thing that high up. That's the magic of science, man. True. True. You know what's crazy? Oh, that that something's in there. I would pet it. They would be Dude, they would be chill

1:31 with me. Y'all do shorts, though. Y'all talk about my shorts being short. Good lord. My man's ass was hungry eating them things. The '9s, dude. Got to show the L. He about to try to cross up Magic Johnson. Is this movie supposed to be based in the '90s? It's supposed to be based around dinosaurs. Oh, good to know. It's maybe the prehistoric time. It's a It's an adventure 65 million years in the making. Oh [ __ ] Oh god, that would hurt like a son of a [ __ ] He's cooked. He's cooked. Instead of Veloca Pastor, he's Veloca Pasta. My man is dinner. Oh [ __ ] I just

2:16 just just He might be a little too far gone now. Yeah, I don't think he has a lower half anymore. He said, "Pain, I can't feel my legs." I said, "Baba, they ain't there time." Man's got nice teeth, bro. Damn. You think he survived, bro? That fade out. No, I don't think he did. That was cinema. Cinema, my man's Why are you wearing a suit? You look [ __ ] silly in the middle of a I don't know. I understand wearing a suit, man. Like I I get it, but like come on. In the in the forest. But yeah, exactly. Like like why why are we like this? That's three layers of clothing that he's wearing. You've been advised to deal with the situation now. The insurance company.

3:02 Okay. Of course the insurance company. I always wonder when they do that if that was like just something they decided to keep in like it happened accidentally. They want Aaron Grant. Grant. You'll never get him out of Montana. What? Why not? Why not? Why is it so hard to translate what's being said? Because Grunt's like me, he's a digger. Damn. Hard R on that, too. Wow. There's a mosquito. It's Amber. Yeah, I know that. But I'm the thing inside. It's a prehistoric, which damn. Now that I think about that, that mosquitoes had like that was they're a different breed back when they're like, right? Like probably cuz they had to pierce the skin of the dinosaur. It's not like piercing

3:47 our weak ass skin. No, dinosaurs are just big birds, dude. No, for real. Bri went to the the the [ __ ] zoo thing. You remember that bird that she was feeding? That thing just looked like a dinosaur. Yeah. No, I fed a dinosaur dinosaurs. That's what's cool about them. Alligators and and birds are all uh Yeah, I've heard that dinosaurs could have had feathers. Just so you know, every time you eat chicken, you're actually eating a dinosaur. Hell yeah. Sick. Dino nuggets. This new program's incredible. What? Few more years development and we won't even have to dig anymore. There's a fan in that. So weird that I knew that guy got more from Event Horizon than Jurassic Park. I love they just have a little cardboard window around the TV. Full of air sacks and hollows just like a bird. And even the word raptor means bird of prey. That doesn't look very scary. Shut the up.

4:35 More like a sixoot turkey. Smack the [ __ ] out of this kid. Just just hit him with a backhand. You little piggly son [ __ ] I can say that. I'm fat, too. You stare at him and he just stares right back and claws your eyes out. The attack comes not from the front, but from the side from the other two raptors. He smacks the [ __ ] out of him. He is out on force today. That kid scared as [ __ ] Can you imagine? Like they have they had multiple of those. Yeah. He slashes, bro. He's just describing to this kid in dirty detail about how he would get absolutely eviscerated by this. Maybe across the belly. Awesome. You are alive when they start to eat you. Uh-huh. Yo, I like this guy. Show a little respect. Okay.

5:22 Okay. That kid is going to have nightmares. Not good. [ __ ] that kid. Yo, you need somebody to straighten your [ __ ] up in the back of your head, too. Whoever gave you that whack ass haircut ought to be fired. They had to get the haircut for the roll, man. No, they [ __ ] it up. [ __ ] that kid. Basic ass looking motherucker. What the hell do you think you're doing in here? Oh, damn. We were saving that. But today, I guarantee it. What? Dr. Satler. Satler. Ellie, this is Mr. Hammond. I'm sorry about Shut the up. Shut the [ __ ] up. I wouldn't even bring attention to it. bike. Yeah, I've leased it from the government and I spent the last 5 years setting up a kind of homie so dusty.

6:08 Yep. We're going to open next year. That is if the lawyers don't kill me first. I I don't care for lawyers. Do you? I don't think most people do. No. No. A we testimonial. I could get back on schedule. Uh schedule. What kind of park is this? This guy's kind of a vibe. It's right up your alley. Uhhuh. See, I understand the point of going public, but like it just seems like so annoying. I don't want to deal with shareholders, investors. That sounds so frustrating. We just dug up a new skeleton. Where's the cat? Hold on. Wait until that cuts back to the move of lady. It's dinosaurs and then a cardboard cutout of a cat. Yeah. Okay. That would be an insane deal. Like I I I get it. Like how would you not be

6:54 excited, right? Also, side note, uh you know, a lot of times when you hear like the famous like British dude um narrating uh documentaries and stuff, especially about nature, uh that's his brother in real life. The dude with the white beard. Yeah. David Atenburgh's brother. I can't remember his John. Newman. Freaking Newman. Newman. Seinfeld. Oh, I never watched that. Me either. You're from New York and you didn't watch Seinfel. Is that even allowed? Yeah. How? She didn't give a [ __ ] It was public TV. Yeah, I didn't give a [ __ ] It was the one channel, one thing I actually got to watch because it was public TV. Was that Frasier? I didn't watch that either. Let me guess. Friends. Yeah. Yeah, I watched that. How I Met Your Mother. Yep. The shows I didn't watch. George Lopez. Nope. Damn. 50,000 more for each

7:42 viable embryo. That's 1.5 million if you get all 50 species off the island. I'll get them all. He's just, bro. He is giddy. What? Bottom screws open. Dude, it's like a stash can. You go. It's cool to compartmentalize. What? The embryos have to be back here in San Jose by then. What a Don't get cheap on me, Dodson. Damn. That was Hammond's mistake. Okay. He's just enjoying life. Yeah, you got to respect it. That's fair. If I can pay for it, you dude. Why is it that every like old movie we watch when there's a like vista scene, it's the the background is always what looks very fuzzy. Cuz it's the best they can do at the time that they had, man. Either that

8:28 or the way the upscaling. That's what I wondered. I wonder if it's upscaling or if it's the cameras. Strange attractors. Dr. Satler, I I refuse to believe that you aren't familiar with the concept of attraction. Wow. Damn. There it is. Yeah. Hell yeah. Oh, dude. That was crazy. The music. You know what's crazy is they they they milked the [ __ ] out of this this one melody. Like at the When you strike gold, you strike gold and you use it. Even when we went to like the theme park, this is literally all that they kept doing over and over again is the melody. Dude, it's iconic. Damn. Uh-oh. How does that

9:13 work? No. After Kobe, dude, I only trust in helicopters. But I've never I've never really liked helicopter. They've always seemed just kind of I don't know, sketch. Not great. Yeah, bro. And like he's so close. Like can't can't you like go a little further out, dude? No, they got to land on the water. No, they're going to land on the [ __ ] telead. You guys never heard of a watercopter before? Yeah, it's a watercopter. This just reminds me of the Jurassic uh park video game I played cuz this is like when it starts as you're like landing on the helipad. We should get one of those jeeps. Okay. Instantly, Sean. Just hell yeah, dude. I'm ready to vibe. We just put our When Billies roam the earth logo right on the side. Do you think they have like toddler ones?

10:00 Probably like the Barbie cars, but a Jurassic Park. We could paint it to look like that. Not the Barbie rumbling with Billy Barbie. Billy rumbling. Billyorld.com. Code Billy10. Go get Go get your merch today. Billy. 10,000 volts. I shut you down, John. In 48 hours, I'll be accepting your apologies. Nah, I with this man. Oh yeah, dude. See, it's not billionaires that are the problem. It's the investors. You're right. Who are billionaires. Who are billionaires. Exactly. [Music] What? What? Bro, he didn't even say a word. He just turned her head. Yeah. No, I'd go crazy, dude. I'd run up

10:47 and pet it. Look at him. Yeah. I'd be like smacking him with the Look at this dick ass boy. Dude, I feel like I'd be so dude. They just they just want to dance, bro. Yeah, but that doesn't mean they might not accidentally trample you or crush you. Give them pets and loving. They'll be chilling. Just be where they ain't. It's just the foot's parent. True. It is. Yeah. This is where they went. This thing's got what? A 25 27T neck. Brachiosaur 30. Bro, that is crazy. Oh my god. I would go crazy, dude. Oh my god. Look at him. He's even set on two legs. We're going to make a fortune with this place. Please, for the love of God, let's do this. You know, we can technically,

11:32 right? Yeah. They've done it with what? Willy mammoths. They're trying to. I thought they succeeded already. T-Rex. Supposedly, they want to like put them back out in the wild. You have a T-Rex. A T-Rex. You have a T-Rex. Show me. Oh god. See, that's the thing is I feel like if you do this to Jurassic. Yeah, sure. But I think like you you start with the planteaters, right? Like he said the thing. He said the thing. He said the thing. Like I feel like bringing a a T-Rex back is probably just a bad idea. Look, dude. They're in the water. They're unstoppable. There's an allterrain dinosaur. An ATD. I got ATD. ATD southbound. No, I mean, bro, being

12:18 them like working on bones and dinosaurs your whole life, this has got to be Yeah. absolutely mindblowing. I'll show you. Like, if you could do this, are you green lighting all the dinosaurs or are you cut or are you not doing certain ones? No, I'm doing all of them. All of them? Yeah. I mean, it's an ecosystem, dude. You got to have the carnivores, herbivores, and omnivores. Like, you got to have like a little bit of everything, right? You also got to bring a meteor at some point. Yeah, sure. Just so you can piece that over and over again, you know? You know? Well, now in between I'll just throw random big rocks at them to, you know, remind them. Assert dominance. This is smart. Smart. Just slingshot. We have Yeah, we have I think we have that banner somewhere. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Dude, that's so sick. Like the dinosaur being on the rock with all the other bones. [Music]

13:06 Billy, what did you say? Double stone. Where can I find early access? I don't know. Where can I find early access? Where can I find early access? Sort of stupid membership. Source stupid membership. Sort of stupid membership. That's right, Billy. You can get all of our videos early and uncut. No syncing required. Whether you decide to become a member here on YouTube by clicking the join button below or a member on Patreon, you get it all. So, get your sort of stupid membership today. Don't wait for your favorite shows. Don't wait for your favorite movies. Get them early. Get them uncut. Help support the channel and keep the mics and lights on. And if you want a more in-depth explanation, there's a video linked below in the description if you want to

13:51 know more. Back to the video. We're out of a job. Don't you mean extinct? Got them. Oh, what's the DNA? Just one drop of your blood contains billions of strands of DNA. Really? Tell me more. The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell, bro. All the teachable like stuff back then was always animated like this too. 100 million years ago they were mosquito. Oh, today they fed on the blood of animals. Yeah, but now they're now their mosquito needles are weak times after biting the dinosaur. So it's in the mosquito. If we look at screens like these once a second for 8 hours a day, it'd take 2 years to look at the entire DNA strain. Damn.

14:39 It's full of holes. God, this is trippy, bro. That's crazy. And now we can make a baby dinosaur. Jesus. Hell yeah. All right, that's a thick ass boy. I wonder how big a dinosaur egg would be. Big. Do you remember the old dinosaur oatmeal they did? It was probably around the size. Really? With the little dino eggs in the oatmeal? That's crazy. I loved that [ __ ] I don't remember it being good. No, I I don't remember it being good either, but it's still around. Yeah. Hell yeah. I thought it stopped doing it. Nope. They still sell it. Wait a minute. How do How do you interrupt the cellular mitosis? He's like, "Wait, pause." Stop it moving. Stop these things. I'm sorry. It's like this is kind of a ride. Can't do that. You can't do that. I was

15:25 going to say they're scientists. You don't want them to like They're going to want a science, bro. It's like, bro, you brought them here. Let them do their thing. It's like they don't care about the damn like theme park aspect. I know they're here to be like, you know, kind of a testimonial. I insist being here when they're born. Come on. Come on. I like that. Like homie's involved in everything. It seems like he's about it. Yeah. Come on, little one. Come on. Oh, dude. I would I would denut. Come on. Look at him. That's a little dinosaur nut, dude. Dude, look at that teeth. Oh, look at that. That's a naturalb born killer right there, bro. Look at I got the skills of a killer, Bella. Dude, dude, I got this. Dude, that looks like it could kill the [ __ ] out of you somehow, mama. Bro, little dino babies look crazy. And

16:13 how do you know they can't breathe? Well, because all the animals in Jurassic Park are female. Damn. Girl bosses in Jurassic Park, dude. Huh? [Music] A So, I would be the only one who could be a dinosaur. You guys wouldn't be able to apparently. Yeah. Damn. Jurassic Park is sexist. That's crazy. Typical [ __ ] Jurassic Park's woke. I wouldn't be able to go be a dinosaur. No. Listen, if there's one thing the history of evolution has taught us, it's that life will not be contained. Life breaks free. Say it. Say it. Say it. Come on. What does life do? Well, there it is. Come on. There it is. But there it is. That a group composed entirely of female animals will breed. No, I'm I'm simply saying that life uh finds a way. Yeah,

17:02 I did not know where you were going with that, but all right. Life finds a way, man. Life finds a way. All right, good to know. It's a velociraptor. I ordain him. He's now velociaptor. Red Raptors. Yeah. Please, please check our Veloca pastor reaction. It's fantastic. Oh, yo, that cow looks baked out of his mind. You think they get him all hopped up on some drugs before they drop his ass in there? No, probably. Would you guys watch him watch watch it eat a cow? No, absolutely. No, I'm good. I mean, if I'm a dino scientist person, yeah, probably. I mean, as like a tourist attraction. No, probably not. Yeah, probably. I think I think a lot of people probably would think they would, but like you wouldn't want to watch it massacre cuz dude, they would massacre that thing. Jesus Christ. I'm hunting

17:47 most things that can hunt you, but the way these things move. Fast for a viper. Cheetah speed 50 60 mph if they Holy [ __ ] Wo. with the brain cavity. Extreme intelligence, even problem solving intelligence. Oh, that's not good. We bred eight originally, but when she came in, she took over the pride and killed all but two of the others. Girl boss. That's what I was thinking. The fences are electrified though, right? That's right. But they never attacked the same place twice. They were testing the fences for weaknesses systematically. What? That is crazy. Holy [ __ ] No, I would probably be adding some more fences, dude. River cruise fancy. Close up look at our majestic. None of these attractions are ready. See, they put that meal on my plate and be like, you got like chicken tenders. Yeah. Steak after seeing that cow getting eat.

18:36 I don't I don't care about that. Everyone in the world has the right to enjoy these. Hell yeah. We'll have a a coupon day or something. God, I hate him. I hate him. He's trying to make his investors money, man. Your genetic power is the most awesome force the planet's ever seen. But you wield it like a a kid that's found his dad's gun. Totally appropriate to start hurling. Yeah, I mean he'sing right. You stood on the shoulders of geniuses to accomplish something as fast as you could and before you even knew what you had. You patented it and packaged it. Uhhuh. Our scientists have done things which nobody's ever done before. Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think they should. That's a bar, D. No. If I was to create a flock of condors on this island, you wouldn't

19:21 have different. Very different. Violent penetrative act that scars would have explores what you call discovery. I call the rape of the natural world. Ooh. So, he's a naturalist then. You know anything about an extinct ecosystem? That too. These are aggressive living things that have no idea what century they're in. And they'll defend themselves violently if necessary. And you're and you're breeding some of the most violent ones. I don't believe it. You're meant to come down here and defend me against these characters. And the only one I've got on my side is the blood sucking lawyer. Yeah, that should probably be a sign, bro. Scientists are the ones telling you it's a bad idea. Yeah, cuz that's the problem, right? They get cocky. They think everybody's going to agree with them and then they get told no. And it's like the you mean like why no? And it's like, well, bro,

20:06 you brought your kid. Oh my god. They're all like um she's like put a baby in. No, I would be like, why do we have kids on this island before that? Yeah, that's it. expedition. Is it me or like it throws me off that they're so clean like I feel like they should be dirty, right? Or like a little scuffed. It's an interactive CD ROM. Wow. My part of the screen and it talk about whatever you want. It also shows how old that technology actually is. That you know touchcreens, dude. That was the huge thing back then. You know you want. Who are you? I read your book. Cool. Get in the car. Read. Stay in the truck. You say you little [ __ ] Do you really think that dinosaurs turned into birds and that's where they all went? They sure don't look like birds to me. Shut the [ __ ] up. What are you, like four? There's this um meteor.

20:55 No, he's not. No, he's not. And they died because of the weather. And then my teacher tells me about this other book by a guy named Backer. And he This poor kid. Damn, dude. He is like an [ __ ] He said stay in the truck. National Weather Service is tracking a tropical storm about 75 miles. Oh no. That would be bad. Very. Could you imagine Ryan Hall doing a uh thing about a hurricane about to hit Jurassic Park? God, bro, in the '90s, we really did just smoke everywhere. Yeah, dude. Smoking's cool. That's Samuel L. Jackson, baby. Hold on to your butt. Oh my god, you're right. I know I'm right. That's why I said it. Wait, what? What? What? Samuel L. Jackson. He's in Jurassic Park. I do. It's like the glasses. I didn't recognize him. What the What? Damn. 25 years ago and the

21:41 self-driving car is still better than the ones we have today. True. It's just a roller coaster. Mhm. Don't be making fun of the uh electrical god king, sir. Oh, [ __ ] him. I love you. He's riled up today. He's riled up today. Spicy move. I'm so proud of him. Yeah. Hey, man. I'm not I'm not a fan of people that uh He liked me for real. For real. Yeah. Is he? No, you. Oh, me. Dumb ass. I'm trying to pay attention to the movie, man. Why you distracted? You were stilling mumbling. Yeah, I was. We now know, bro. You couldn't get me to leave this place, spitting its venom at its prey. I would be shoveling dinosaur [ __ ] just so I could like work at the park. Yeah, we saw what happened to the other guy. That wouldn't happen to me. They'd

22:26 be chill with me. He'd be like that all time at theme parks. I don't blame people for their mistakes, but I do ask that they pay for them. Thanks, Dad. Dennis. Ah, okay. Okay, that makes sense. Pile for half an hour. All of you. I'm approaching the Tyrannosaur Picu. Hell yeah. Now, I like that guy. Uh-huh. No, he serious. Why is the wall so high there if it's so low on that side? How the does that help? Maybe the hill starts going down. Maybe. Yeah, that'll prevent anything. No, see, not seeing them would put me on edge cuz I'd be like, what are they doing and where the hell are they? What? What do you mean? You think like a dinosaur back there scheming? Yeah, he's just waiting, bro. The dude was just telling them about the

23:13 back. I'm waiting for my thousand people to eat them. God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs. Dinosaurs eat man. Dinosaurs inherits the earth. Yeah. Okay. Girl boss, too. That works. He's smiling in the back. He's like, "That's so funny cuz [ __ ] really has not changed in 25 years, dude." Well, it makes me think though, like if it's all females, like would they eventually just have like parthendogenesis to be able to like create more. Oh, I mean, there's like a bunch of species that like change their sex based on certain situations. I wouldn't be shocked if there's a dino that can do it. No way. Just take a nap. You're like,

23:59 "Well, I can't move." So, listen to those sounds. But that's also ignoring the laws of evolution in the sense that most animals, carnivores especially, will like go for the easiest meal. It's just a survival instinct. Right. Hello. Hello. Yes. I really hate that man. I mean, he's right though. Imagine if these were paying customers, bro. They'd be pissed. Yeah. Oh, no. If you paid like, what did that dude say? Like $2 to $10,000 to be here and you're going on this automatic. Yeah. and you don't see the [ __ ] I'd be infuriated. For 10 grand, I better be able to ride the [ __ ] Yeah, I want to ride a dinosaur. For 10 grand, deal because tiny variations. Uh the the orientation

24:45 of the hairs on your hands. Hey, Ellen, look at this. Um the amount of blood distending your vest. This feels like that like pickup line where you're like, "Yeah, it really does. It does feel like that's what he's doing." See, here I am now by myself talking to myself. That's That's chaos, too. I love Gold Bloom. I told you how many times we needed locking mechanisms on the vehicle door. We're on. No, it's like, bro, like even even if like the dinos wasn't a problem. All the trash around his like desk is making me like itchy. It It is. Is there anybody else who thinks that we shouldn't be out here? And his book was uh me. Especially with children. He's like, "They ain't my kids." Hey, you

25:32 okay? Oh, no. Hey, look at this. No. What is she tripping in, dude? No, she was staring at just Yeah, it's just to show that like, you know, he's helping kids out, man. No, that was the trick to hold the hand. Timmy. Timmy. Dude, Timmy don't give a No, he said Timmy said, "If I die by dinosaur, I life well lived." Figure the best dinosaur. Triceratops. Is he okay? Is she okay? Come on. But it's okay. We'll doom. Tranquilizer for me. Just tranquilize. Oh no, bro. That kid just yawned. It's been a long day of recording. Okay. Yo, that dino don't look so good. No, she's sick. I know.

26:19 [Music] God, seeing the practical effects dino next to the the CGI one they had earlier. It's crazy how much more real this one looks. It has a tongue like the dude from Star Wars. Why are you doing that? I hated that. That was gross, bro. Like that. You don't know what the is in that [ __ ] She's having her period, dude. Dude. Nah, bro. I'd be going crazy. Is this West Indian lilac? We know they're toxic, but the animals don't eat them. Well, except they are. There's only one way to be positive. to see the dinosaurs dropping. He said, "Uh, what now?" Dropping. Dropping. He's like, "I might be a scientist. I ain't digging through dino shit." He's a mathematician. A I mean, but think about

27:06 it though. When people go for those like things to crack open, that is dino [ __ ] What? The uh the rocks. The I can't think of them. Fossils. People split them in real life. Fossils. No, it's not a fossil. It's like a geode. Geode. Those those Aren't those like That's a rock, brother. No. Well, then I've been wrong about rocks my entire life, Billy. Whoa. Can I have a pause? I thought this entire time were like that. So, also I need to I need to rewind cuz I need to find out what that reaction was. Okay. So, like back up. Yeah, we need to crack it open and there's like crystals inside. Yeah. You thought that

27:51 was dinosaur [ __ ] Well, there's also dinosaur [ __ ] in them, correct? I mean, possibly, but that's not what they are. I mean, I thought that's how they were formed. I never really questioned geode formation. We've not had enough oxygen today. You know what? Real quickly in the Twitch comments. No, that No, I need a clip of that. That when Sean literally turn was like, "That's a rock, brother." Yeah. I'm pretty sure everybody's agreeing with me that it's a rock. It's a rock. Yeah. It's not not like not like Baghdad or Iraq, but like a rock. Interesting. Yeah. But he was like, "What people crack open?" I'm like, "Yeah, crack it open." Right. That's your dino shits in here. Let's see what you got.

28:37 You thought crystal crystal people just like really love [ __ ] Just drain w minerals. Ladies and gentlemen, last shuttle leaving for the dock. Leaves in approximately 5 minutes. Drop what you're doing and leave now. I've been wrong my whole life. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, he's not having a good day, dude. I mean, B, you got to think. Jesus Christ. That is one big pile of [ __ ] Yeah, it is. What are you doing, bro? Even the gloves. It's all over your legs. She don't care. Veterinarians do basically the same thing just with less [ __ ] Yeah, they they investigate your animals poop. No, seriously. Sitting

29:23 with a dino during a thunderstorm just enjoying it would be such a vibe. Yeah. So much for our first tour. Two no shows and one sick triceratops. Could have been worse, John. A lot worse. God is so young in this. Cuz I'm I'm going up the machine. And I thought maybe, you know, I get somebody something cuz apparently sweets and I think I'm going to get something salty. I thought maybe some of them would. The system is going to be uh compiling for uh 18 to 20 minutes. So some of the minor systems, they might go on and off for a while, but it's nothing to worry about. It's just a simple thing for 20 minutes. Uhhuh. That can't be good. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. My thing is like, bro, at least wait till they're like vehicle tour, dude. They've been out there all day. Even though they're

30:09 helping the triceratops, they've been out there all day. That That's probably, I would assume, where most of the time went. Same with wives for that matter. You're married occasionally. Yeah, occasionally. Dude, that is so cool. My dude, you don't know what you're doing. Like, I don't even know why you're pretending like you do. He's the main guy's son, dude. I'm sure he knows a little bit about it. Good point. That's a good point. No, I think he does know what he's doing, which is the bad part. Mhm. He knows what he's doing, but he's doing it anyway. It just be cool to be around a bunch of signed [ __ ] like this did. Yeah, that's true. Feel it'd be really important to have to take like inventory each night of what's in there to make sure nobody took anything. Hey, what'd I touch? We didn't touch

30:54 anything. We stopped. Why? Oh no. Uhoh. That's realing bad, dude. That's real bad, dude. It's crazy going through this. I don't know if I've ever actually seen this. I think I've only ever seen parts when it has been on TV on in the background. Really? I I vividly remember one scene, but now I'm starting to question if it's even part of this movie or not. My TikTok brain rot is like cuz you're like, "Did I see this clip on?" I'm like, "Yeah, I think I watched it." And like half the time I'll be like, "We watched this during the world." We No, we watched Jurassic Park during a when rabbit was a thing. I I did. That's how long ago it was. I don't think I was a part of that. You were. It was a community thing. I don't know about that.

31:42 Were we putting my memory against yours? Yes. Dude, it's always fat people ruining everything. Am I right? God damn it. Cuz like I just don't know how. They didn't even close the gates either. There hasn't been a single part of this movie that I've remembered. I'm like waiting for something. But Taz, maybe we were stoned. That's true, bro. For real? Are you shocked? Honestly, are you kidding me? I would Why are you picking it up? What difference does it make, bro? Ah, I see. This guy is such a punchable face. Yeah, he does. Freaking Newman. Wait. Yo, why does he have Oenheimer on his [ __ ] computer program? Homie, you're getting real close to the butt on that cigarette. Please put it out and get a new one. Phones are out, too. We're scar rude. Ah, so the cars like do

32:29 a loop. Oh, I mean that's cool. I mean realistically like you go on a ride like this, are you really going to be mad about seeing a a Raptor or you know whatever? Like more than once. True. Hey, where did you find those? It locks under my seat. Are they heavy? Yeah. Then they're expensive. Put them back. Are they? That's like the dude that's like that '90s [ __ ] where it's like, is it actually heavy? Okay. It was made with good parts. Yep. That was something my grandfather could never wrap his head around. Like when memory cards and and like USB drives started coming around. smaller cuz he's like, "How could that like Yeah, these won't last." Like he'd find out how expensive they were and he was like, "That doesn't make any sense." He's like, "It's not big." And it's like, "Yeah, these aren't steel." Yeah. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Now, see, this kid has

33:16 been like hyped up all time. Now he's getting on edge. I remember the water part. Uh-oh. That's not good, dude. Like, what would you do? Be quiet and don't move. Be as still as possible. Yep. I feel like you'd be better off getting out of the car, going up to like a tree, and like getting you don't mess with the apex predator. With a T-Rex, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to stay still. It's gone. I know, but like the car is so big, bro. It's there. Holy [ __ ] Lamb chop. Oh no. Oh no. He knows the fence isn't

34:01 on. It touched the fence. Oh my god. Delicious. Stay still. Oh my god. Idiot. Idiot. It likes the hut. Dummy. Bro, you [ __ ] So stupid. Dum dum. Go. Bye-bye. Where does he think he's going? When you got to go, you got to make it. Oh boy. Yeah, dude. Dude, they just took the Let's go down. It's time. Holy [ __ ] Oh no. Nah, the buildup on this has been real, dude. Oh [ __ ] Oh no, dude. It's so big, dude. Huge. Look at that girl. Oh lord. He coming. She She got it. I'm

34:50 sorry, Bri. I don't I I don't see sexes or gender. We're all God's children. I see destruction. There you go. Let's shine a bright light. Yo, it works. Think about it. It works on cats and dogs. May Maybe it'll work on a dinosaur. It's going right to the light. Like it's going to heaven. Relax them. Rough. That's I don't know why she thought that was going to work. I don't know either. She made a girl boss decision and a girl boss, but she realized now it's a girl boss mistake. Very stupid choice. I mean, kids are dumb. See, now you've created two different bits of curiosity for it. Yep. Uh-oh. God, kids are so stupid. Smells fear. Also, I think that girl was in that movie Angus. Hello, bro. How the is she not turned this light off yet? Turn off the light.

35:39 Nope. No, bro. You'd be so screwed. Screaming is not what you should do here, bro. I'd kill her. Oh my god. What are you doing, women? Am I right, dude? Holy [ __ ] dude. I will say though, of course it was the kids. You have T-Rex, man. [ __ ] them kids. Kids. No, bro. This happens and you're with children. You're You're completely and utterly. No, I'm not. Those kids are But like they said, well, wait a second. This is parts. But I'm a survive. This doesn't taste good. What is this? All I'm saying is the Ford Expedition is holding up. Yeah, you're not wrong though. It is. It is actually holding up. Yeah. Oh god. Oh god. Hey, you know what? Oh

36:28 my god. No, bro. I'd be going I'd be going crazy. Sorry. I'd rather die to the to a dinosaur than [ __ ] drown in mud. See, he does care about kids. He's a hero. He's not going to let him die. I mean, Sean would have. Wait, no way. Homie just played fetch with it. yellow. Holy [ __ ] dude. Yo, dude. The shorts with the tie is still a crazy choice, bro. Well, our first victim has arrived, T-Rex. And I hate lawyers. Shut the up. You see what I mean? can't

37:13 see us if we don't move. God. Well, especially, bro. Like, she's bleeding, too. Oh, that poor kid. That poor kid under there, dude. Where's Edward when you need him to stop a Oh my god. Oh, that just made my balls draw up, dude. They just said, "That kid, dude." He really did. They were like, "Fuck the other kid, dude." All right, I can't do nothing else. Oh my god. Oh god. Holy [ __ ] dude. Yo, Tim's dead, dude. Tim is dead. Tim's dead, dude. T-Rex conquers all, man. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Tim. He dead. Not Tim. John, I can't get Jurassic Park back online without Dennis N. Oh, that's bad. So,

38:01 uh, him having the Oppenheimer picture there is more or less like, uh, you know, Oenheimer invented the atomic bomb and like said, "I am death, destroyer of worlds." Uh, and so like that's kind of like it was like an homage to that because he's the one that caused the dinosaurs to get out. Like he he created the atomic bomb of the island. There's the Oh, you're so broke down this thing. Oh god, you deserve it. Newman. Oh yeah, Newman. My glasses. My glasses, bro. Having glasses in a movie like this or in a horror movie would be horrible. Yeah, it probably wouldn't be great.

38:48 A good good job. Oh [ __ ] Hey buddy. Hey buddy. Yo, it's like a little gremlin. Peekaboo. Just play peekaboo. I got to go. A we little baby. Don't stop, bro. Yeah, that's really stupid what you're doing right now. She just wants to play. Sister, dude, this is stressing me out. No way. It's like, that ain't meat, you dumbass. No wonder you're extinct. [ __ ] now, Newman. Oh my god. Oh my god. Uh-oh. Uhoh. They're like, damn, this is the easiest meal I've ever had. Damn. Newman straight up got the mud flap ass, too. Holy [ __ ] He said, hey, I found

39:33 these rocks pretty good. Holy [ __ ] E damn, bro. He didn't even have the respect for Newman to tap him on the head before he blew. Oh no. Just blast him right in the mouth. Oh [ __ ] Oh, it's going to blind the out of me. Oh no, you dumbass. Goodbye, Newman. That's crazy. I wonder how much Barbasaw had to pay for this ad. I really hope. Yeah. Yes. He's just in the passenger seat, dude. Oh my god. That's actually brutal. Holy [ __ ] Wow. I don't remember that. I remember to see a part of this movie. I don't even know what's happening anymore.

40:20 Tammer. Tammer. Tammer. Tammer. But that's not what I'm going to do. Just chill. Just breathe. It's all good. No, I would be getting in that pipe though for real. Like you going you going to chase me pipe? It's the safest place to be to be honest. That tree right there. Got a big head and little arms. He'd be like I can't wait for you to come out. Come down from the tree. I'm shocked. I I would just be like no. There's no way he survived that. That is totally we got to go. Like look we got to go. Yeah. I want to help your brother. I'm not I'm climbing a tree with a car in it. I'm I'm just going to be honest with you. That ain't happening. Nah, bro. Like, there ain't no way in hell. Like, you're out your goddamn mind. Don't worry. If

41:06 you guys were stuck in a tree, I would call an adult. I'm sure you would. Yeah, I got you on the back. Yeah, I appreciate that. I ain't climbing the tree. That's fair. I get it. Like, you ever see gorilla climb trees? Nope. Damn. No. Hey, buddy. How you doing? He was under the car. How did he get in the car? No, he was still in the car. His legs were caught. Oh, yeah. Cross. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He was in the car. The hood was like the thing that was getting pressed down. Yeah. Wait, did he really just say that? Yeah. Don't tell anyone you threw up. Just Just give me a hand. That's not what you want to do. I threw up and I [ __ ] myself. I mean, with all that mud, nobody would know, dude. He shifted the tires. That's not You don't All I'm saying is the Ford Expedition's

41:52 headlights still on. I mean, bro, the Ford Expedition Explorer, what a what a way to like advertise this vehicle's durability. Yeah. Can survive a dinosaur attack. A dinosaur attack. Not many vehicles can say that. Exactly. You know, they have the proof. Oh, that's Timmy, get down. Timmy, get down. Timmy, we're going to need to speedrun the tree. Timmy, we're going to have to go really, really fast, Timmy. Timmy, we're going to have to go really freaking fast. Come on, Timmy. Move your ass. Move your ass down the tree, Timmy. We got to go now. Hold strong, little branch. Timmy, don't look up. Get Go. Go down. Go down, Timmy. Come on. Let's go. I hate it. Thank god there's enough branches. Oh. Oh yeah. Oh, about that

42:37 branches. Oh no. Oh no. There's still more. Oh my god. That is like some Groucho Mark [ __ ] We're back in the car again. or Charlie Chaplan. I mean, to be honest, I would just stay in the car at this point. It's a safe place, safe place to be. You're not wrong, I'm telling you. Life finds a way. Life finds a way. Good on Ian. Remind me to thank John for a lovely weekend. Good on him for knowing to put a tourniquet on. Yeah. No shot. Is it coming back for round two? He said, "Bro, I [ __ ] hate this

43:23 place." No way it's coming back. Well, you got to think, bro, he needed help. Oh god. Oh, it's coming back for round two. Uh-oh. God, that is a shot. Anybody hear that? Just you, bud. Go, go, go. Let's go. Hey, bro. Please let him right behind the tree, dude. Yeah. Holy [ __ ] Get the out, dude. Jesus. She's looking for a It can run like what they say 36 m hour. Oh my god, dude. These shots are awesome. She's like, I'm getting my cardio today. Getting all these steps. She's like, yeah, never mind. All right,

44:09 pass away. You eat on the back of the box. It's going to take 20 minutes to cook. Ah, never mind. I'm just going to eat toast. Those are bronosauruses. I mean, uh, brachiosauruses. Brachiosauruses. They're singing. The dinosaurs will rule all of the land again. We will return. Turns out brachiosauruses are super racist. Yeah, dude. Cumins. These are herbivores. That means they only eat vegetables. But for you, I think they make an exception. Well, I hate Yo, Tib. Tib's a little menace. Yeah, dude. He was like, we almost died, but we live, so I'm good now. I think that's every guy ever, though, where it's like you do something stupid and you almost die and you're like, "Whoa, that was crazy." All right. No, don't don't do that again. Whoa.

44:55 They're like the whales of the dinosaur world. Mhm. They just sing. What do you call a blind dinosaur? I don't know. What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do you think you saw us? Oh my god. Wow. Good one. That sounds like something you would say. Yep. I know. I was thinking I was actually kind of impressed by that to be honest. I was like, damn, I should use that more often. What if the dinosaurs come back while we're all asleep? Then we're dead. I'll stay awake all night. All night. See, he'd be a good dad. Yeah. I don't even know if my dad would protect me from I would tell him that and then I'd still fall asleep like My dad would just be like, "Run, boy, they've got the taste for meat." Look at all that merch. I would love to have one of those lunch boxes. Damn. That's rare that you get to advertise the merch inside of the movie. Yeah, right. I'm assuming all of this

45:40 stuff was right. He's really just eating a meal like nothing's happening. I mean, he's probably so [ __ ] freaked out right now kids are out there. I feel like I wouldn't sit out in the open. I don't know. I feel like I'd be on edge. Like, I wanted to show them something that wasn't an illusion, something that was real, something that they could see and touch. Damn. Damn. Now, the next time everything's correctable, next time it'll be flawless. Sure will, Bonnie. But I made a mistake, too. I didn't have enough respect for that power. And it's out now. The only thing that matters now are the people we love. It's like, bro, we You realize we might not even make it off this island. Like, Mhm. Oh, pause. Poor pops. All that matters.

46:29 Oh, Sean, how dare you try to go to a bathroom break during a dinosaur attack? It's not even an attack, man. He's just trying to have a snack. It's a dinosaur snack. Dinosaur attack. Hit it. Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. Feed it. Yeah, I totally feed it. I be like, "Oh, yeah. You want some more? I got some more for you, buddy. We can become best friends." Boop. Just a little boop on her nose. That's so sick. Come on. Up here, girl. Come on. You don't have any. [Applause] Jesus Christ. Dude, if if this girl survives, I would live in a bubble forever. She is She's never going to like dinosaurs ever again.

47:15 Literally ever. [ __ ] Uh-oh. Um Oh, that's not good. Oh, they're reproducing on their own. Remember when that wasn't supposed to happen? The dinosaurs, they being dinosaurs be Women ain't eat no man. Men ain't [ __ ] girl. And so your grandpa's an idiot. Nature found a way. Some West African frogs have been known to spontaneously change sex from male to female in a single sex environment. Malcolm was right. Who would have guessed? Yeah. Malcolm. Yeah. Oh. Oh my god. Look at him. Malcolm stay winning, dude. Damn. What's up, Jeff? Go away. Oh my god. Give me them eyes more often.

48:01 [ __ ] My damn balls are wet, dude. What is he even doing in that scene? Cuz he's No. Will you please shut down the system? It's crazy. I think it's just three switches. Going dark. I think it's that sick. Now turn the lights back on and everything else. Hold on to your butts. Dude, I've seen that clip a thousand million times online. Um. Uh-oh. Okay. Look. See that? It's on. Did it? Where the hell are the lights at? Wait a minute. What do you mean it worked? Everything's still off. Well, maybe the shutdown trip took the circuit breakers out. Just to be safe, I want everybody in the emergency bunker until Mr. Arnold returns and the whole system's up and running again. You need the buddy system. Don't just send them all by yourself on the other side of the

48:47 compound. Tim, can you tell me what they are? Why are you concerned? Bro, there's little baby ones wielding uniform direction changes just like a flock of birds evading a predator. Uh-huh. Say that again. Oh, bro. Mufasa runs. My thing is like, bro, just make a left. Like, go hard left. You ain't You're not out running them. And they're in a straight line. Long live the king. Uh, probably wrong side. Side to be on. Oh, no. Holy [ __ ] Okay, maybe that was a good thing. Oh no. Get down. Get down low, bro. Just get down low and don't move. Well, no, they're fine right now, bro. That one in the background just watch is watching his homie get devoured. Keep blowing. Follow me.

49:34 Tim, come on, Timmy. Nothing worked. Yeah, but John, if the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the Ah, Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Huh? I love that ride. Oh, hell yeah. Oh [ __ ] It was 93. Damn. What was 93? This was where I was. And Pirates of the Caribbean was out before that. Wait, no. Yeah. Wait a minute. How did they Wait, how did they make a joke about Pirates of the Caribbean? It was a ride in Disney ever since it opened. Prior to the movie? Yeah. I did not know the movie came from. I never knew that. That's crazy. Jesusing Christ. No way.

50:22 Me and you were in the same wavelength. I was like, "Wait a goddamn minute." So, the ride was part of the theme park, but they never made movies on it at all. Not until after. What if I told you both that Pirates and the Caribbean existed? Yeah, we know. We're aware. Yeah, but like it was never like, "Hey, man, when you go there now, Jack Sparrow is a part of it." It wasn't Jack Sparrow, though. Yeah. So, he just took over and like created the W. Wow. Yeah. Because it became a billion dollar film franchise. Huh. Bless y'all's heart. I'm sorry. Sorry, I don't know my Disney lore, Sir Disney. I know the least about Disney out of all of us. Apparently not. Can I just say it actually does make it scarier in my opinion that it's during the day. Yeah. Like that's how powerful dinosaurs are is like it you don't need

51:07 the night to be the cover of like whether or not you see them. It's just the fact that they exist is what's terrifying. Because of that. Because of that. Uhoh. There's not enough dinosaur games. No, they need to Jurassic World Lego game is fun. They They need to remake Dino Crisis. Dude, we can make it if we run. We can't. Why not? Because we are being hunted. What I don't understand is there's multiple guns. Like, I know she's not a, you know, she's a scientist, but like, girl, bring a gun. Oh, no. Go. Now. It is crazy, right? Like, they're more afraid of the raptors than they are the T-Rex. Yeah. I mean, well, the raptors will kill you before you die or eat you before you're dead. Shut shut the gate.

51:54 I don't really think the gate's going to do anything. Sh. Lock the door. I I just think it would like, you know, allow for like a couple seconds. 10,000 volts, bro. No, even with it off, I'd be nervous. I'd be like, we're going around. Yeah. Well, so isn't she trying to turn it back on? Yep. Yes. Yes, she is still. Nah, I ain't doing it. Oh my god, bro. That's [ __ ] up. Got him. God up. That was great. Now, you guys ever touched an electric fence before? Yes. That [ __ ] hurt. I've been uh I used to as a kid I we had a spring

52:40 one. So, I tried to go under it and I got shocked a couple times like on the base of my neck, bro, and just got laid out by it. Yeah, we had a My best friend growing up had a cattle one that I would just Take your time, Tim. That's good. Hurry the up, Tim. Yo yo Tim Tim's to uh Tim, you can't spell timid without Tim. And and Tim needs to hurry his ass up. There's a round green button which says push to close. Push to close. Okay. Oh [ __ ] Don't push that one. Push it close. Oh god. Oh. Holy [ __ ] You better drop your ass down. Timothy, get down. Tim. Just chill. No. Instead Tim's hugging it, dude. Switch him up.

53:28 Oh my god, dude. I don't like this. Tim's going to die. That's fine, bro. It's fine, bro. One, two, three. Tim, you can either jump or the electricity is going to jump for you, bro. Yep. I'm going to count to three. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Dude. Dude. Oh, he's got both hands. Oh my god. He pride me. Oh [ __ ] What? No way, dude. They shocked that kid. Holy crap. I thought he was going to fall right after. No. Timmy got out. Bro, bro, they straight up shocked Timmy. And I think we're back in business. I was like, there's no [ __ ]

54:15 Oh wow. God. Oh Mr. Arnold. Oh no. Oh lord. Give him a hand. Damn. They killed Samuel Law Jackson offcreen, bro. Is that what happened? Is that Sam's arm right there? Pretty sure he's so dead. Yep. Nah, dude. The badass characters always get gone. Yeah, he's like, "All right, can't wait to shape me of a lost ramp though." Homie, why are you even trying to take aim when you got a spaz? Oh, [ __ ] Hello. Oh my god. Oh, damn. He's so dead, bro. Oh. Oh. Oh, he's munching on the noggin, dude. Sorry, homie. That's what you get for

55:00 literally trying to Nobody said there were snakes. That's what you get for literally trying to just use a SP. I think they said that at the beginning of the movie as well, right? Like they'll stand in front while the other ones like hunt around you. They'll bait you because you'll never see it. You'll never see it cut. He actually I think he actually said that. Oh no, he did. Good boy. Good boy. Told you to [ __ ] jump. Tim. Yeah. You know what? I like Tim. Yeah. You know what? He's a dope kid. He continued his count. I'll give him that. Yeah. You're all right, Tim. I wonder how a smaller dinosaur would react to seeing a bigger dinosaur bone. It would eat it. Like, do you think it would see it and get scared because of the shape? It's like dinosaur. No, I said there were dinosaurs here.

55:46 Look after Tim. Dude, Tim looking up. They are intaps are really intelligent. Maybe. I don't know. No, I mean, they could probably smell like uh, you know, any kind of pheromone or anything that was actually left on the bone. I don't know if they would know what it is. Kids probably got like severe burns on his feet. Mhm. M and hands. I feel like the feet wouldn't be so bad because of the shoes. Well, no. Well, no. The electric current goes through your true feet. Isn't that where what happens? Oh, hell yeah. You know what? I deserve this. He said, "Treat yourself, Tim. One of everything. A whole cake to yourself, too." Holy [ __ ] Go, Tim. Bleeding from the ears and just still just like I forgot how to do math, but this cake's good. Oh

56:39 no. [ __ ] you. No, I would get in something, dude. They grab one of the fridges or something. Yeah, there's got to be. It's got to be something. Hello. I'd like to speak to the chef. You sure this one's contained? Yes, unless I figured out how to open doors. So about that. Oh god. Well, yeah. No way. So about that. No way. Hear me out, homie. Homie, shut up, dude. No way. Jimmy, [Music] the person holding the thing is back there. Really? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What? Go back. You see the hand? No. Yep. Yo, my inversion.

57:29 Holy [ __ ] Dude, dude. Oh, it called the homie squad. What's happening, bro? I almost feel like your best bet would be to take something and just throw it across the room, right? And then bolt to the door. I've seen I've played Metal Gear Solid. They need to get a cardboard box. Dude, the fact that he maneuvered through all of those pops without hitting a single one. Go Timmy. That was kind of crazy. Oh [ __ ] Throw itimmy. Throw it Timmy. Throw it Timmy. Oh damn. They can't jump. Honestly, they just they just behave like gravy, dude.

58:16 This is how gravy acts at [Music] home. Yo, the sister coming in clutch. If that was my sister, she would throw the ladle where I was sitting. Oh, should have did that first. He said, "What the fuck?" Oh, well, so much for that. Got him, idiot. Timmy, it's too easy, buddy. Go for it, Timmy. It's waiting for you. I forgot he picked his leg up. Holy [ __ ] bro. Oh my god. Oh, is he hitting him with the Oh god. In and out. No, I was going to say,

59:02 bro, there ain't no way those kids are holding back that dinosaur. The door locks. Ellie, boot up the door locks. Oh my god. Hey, what are you doing? Uhoh. I'm like, no way, bro. I think yo just try to shoot it a few times, man. Like like that's a strong ass gun. You're also trying to hold it in the worst place possible. You're holding She's a hacker, man. Oh, man. Hacker. Hacker girl. It's a Unix system. Hack the planet. Hack the planet. You guys should check out our hackers reaction. It was pretty good. It was my birthday movie. Unless it was pretty good. Girl, I'm going to tell you right now, you're not doing a goddamn thing for that door. You might as well just

59:48 move and get the gun. Yeah, I don't understand why they're trying to use their body when they can just use their nice little Timberlands they got and like like stick that on the ground and let the door kind of got them 10. God, computer slow as There we go. Now it just breaks through the lock, dude. Right. Damn. They really did kill Samuel and Jackson off off screen, didn't they? That's some [ __ ] Disrespect, man. Phones are working. Children alive. The children are fine. He just got, you know, slightly electrocuted. Had to be resuscitated, but [Music] it's like their own DNA code sequence.

1:00:34 Holy [ __ ] [Applause] Oh [ __ ] Oh my god. Damn. [Music] Oh my god. or just Oh, you know what? That would be so hard to balance on. Oh my god, dude. Bro, I I I'm so stressed out right now. Dear God, let go. [ __ ] Tim, dude, Tim is taking the biggest beating. Gotten his ass beat the whole movie. So is she on that gratitude? That would hurt your hips. so bad. Oh my god, bro.

1:01:19 Tim is going to have so much PTSD. I know. His sense of humor when he grows up is going to be immaculate. But like that kid's going to be up. Holy [ __ ] dude. Stop looking. Stop looking and go. He said, "Come here, you little son bitch." He said, "No, that hurts." Ever since they've said that T-Rexes may have had like feathers and wings, I like every time I see one, I try to envision it and I just can't. Oh, really? I can like I can't without it looking ridiculous. Phoenix, man. Yeah. Like I can I can imagine it, but it just seems ridiculous. That's why they have little baby claws. I know. It makes sense, dude. T-Rex, the true [ __ ] hero. Yes.

1:02:08 Yay. God, that was a good scene. All the dinosaurs fear the T-Rex. Misunderstood. Yeah, fair. We have that banner. Yeah, we did. And it fell too. And it did fall. It did fall earlier. Timing though. Could have timed the fall better. Imagine like Christian had on a remote control where if he hit a button and it fell like as it was falling that Yeah. Poor guy. He's like, I just wanted to do something cool. That's it. Yeah. Can you imagine you had like that dream or whatever and it's just How could you not blame yourself for the people that died too? you know, like Mhm. Especially when you're in charge, like you you could have made this more security measures than there was. You could have done, you know, all of these

1:02:53 things to avoid it. For a guy who hates kids, he sure seems pretty comfy with them and they are on an island. Oh, this was a whole allegory to Epstein. Dude, I didn't really think about it. This [ __ ] was so common in movies where it's just like, I don't want kids in the movie. You know what? You kind of like kids. The '9s was were filled with those movies. Didn't that happen in Mummy? Wasn't he like anti-kids and then he met the the girl and then is like, "Hey, you know what? I think Big Daddy." Yeah, Big Daddy. Dutch. Big Daddy. Curly Sue. Uh uh uh. So, I'm going to I'm going to assume that we had the continued because the guy dropped the DNA and it probably like I don't know floated out in the ocean or something. Is that how I'm assuming DNA works? Well, because he dropped the DNA

1:03:40 and we saw it roll off into like tell me got impregnated into the earth. It was like this is like an ending of a Resident Evil game. Yeah, exactly. I didn't know it was a book, dude. Everything was based off the book, literally. That was awesome, Bill. Book is like way scarier than I guess. Let me uh I guess they probably wanted to like family it up, I guess. You're Don't bring into our lie war. We're watching Jurassic Park 2. Same person lying about lying. Why are you a liar? That's truthing. Why are you lying? Why are you lying? I'm talking to Eric. Why are you lying, dude? Cuz that's all I know. That's all I was brought up. I only know lies, man. I only know how to live this life. Where am I? Who's telling the truth? I need an

1:04:26 adult. Dinosaurs. I don't know what to expect with this. I I know literally zero. I have never even seen a single clip from this movie. No. Or if I have, I did not realize it was from a Jurassic Park movie. Like I said in the literally the last uh movie I think is I didn't even know there was one. Like I thought it was this then Jurassic World. I knew there was two. I didn't know there was a third one. Maybe technically it's not called Jurassic Park 2. It's called like Jurassic Park something something world. This. Yeah. And then Jurassic Park 3 is called Jurassic Park 3. Can I say I hate when they do that though? It's a dinosaur cloud. Where? Where's a dinosaur? Right there. Oh, you silly [ __ ] You named my cloud after the luck nest monster. The Lost World. The Lost Lost World.

1:05:12 That's what it's called. So, this is the world where confirmed the Jurassic speak the the the dinosaurs be getting. I'm trying to think if it's the same island. It kind of looks like you have Jurassic Park the Lost World. Jurassic World. Fabulous. Okay. Thank you, Jeffrey. Oh my god. Kill him, dude. So, is this one of those things where like some old rich person came in and scooped up the island? Thank you, Barry. Barry, dude, that guy always plays a rich turd. I feel like the ocean is so rough to have a yacht right now. Prawns. Your favorite. Prawns. Now, darling, don't Oh, don't worry, darling. If you don't like it, we'll make sure to put beans on it and a nice beige pees. Let the kid play. Yeah, especially fun to play. I don't know. That would stress me the out with the water. As rough as it is, I want to let my kid go

1:05:58 play alone. Oh, I totally would be playing on those waters. That's actually a lie. There are snakes on the beach sometimes. They've also been on planes. Yeah, it's kind of scary. Along with Samuel L. Jackson. See, I was like, go do your thing. I just need to be in view. See, his character lived and he he became a reptilian expert. Probably not. Is that what it is getting eaten, bro? That dinosaur going to be able to say she just had a baby and it was delicious. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You getting eaten. Oh, baby. Baby. All right. Well, new best friend. Uh-oh. Where's mama? He's like, "Give me Give me some of that sandwich. Take a bite. It's good." Going to bite the [ __ ] out of her finger, dude. You Oh, we're not. He said, "Oh, yeah." He's like,

1:06:44 "Oh, don't run, dude. What are you doing?" Like pigeons like a crab, bro. I would just throw it on the Yeah. No. No. Oh my god. No way. Run. Go get her. Uh-oh. Dude, so many movies open like that in this in this era. The woman just doing the scream and them not showing you what they what there is. It gets you hooked, man. Oh, I don't like that. This is Is this 4K? God, he's tall. I didn't realize how tall he actually is. I I couldn't tell. God, dude. How tall is he? I think he's up there. Old 4K movies look great until like the CGI shows up. When the CGI shows up is when it starts to look a little wonky. Alfred

1:07:30 Batman must wait. Dr. Malcolm. Wait. Hello, Dr. Jeez. Damn. So, okay. It's been a couple years. Oh. Uh, that's not good. Yeah. Didn't sell anything. I never took a scent and I told the truth. Your version of it. There aren't any. Damn, dude. Holy [ __ ] Yeah, he is eating him up in lawyer speak. Really? You must trust me. These problems of yours about to be rendered moot. Not by me. Careful. This suit costs more than your education. Oh, I hate a motherucker like that, dude. Why do you even spend that kind of money on clothing? Thank you. I hate a person that talks about how much they spend on something. Site B was the factory floor. That was on a sauna. We bred the animals

1:08:17 there and nurtured them for a few months and then moved them into the park. Oh, okay. Shouldn't they have kicked after 7 days without supplemental enzymes? Yes. But by God, they're flourishing. Bro, that would be horrifying. Observation and documentation, our satellite inference. Uh-huh. Don't worry, I'm not making the same mistakes again. Yeah, actually that's what they all say. You're making all new ones. Uh, we have our paleontologist and I was hoping that perhaps I love how he didn't say who the paleontologist was. Like, we already know. A British family on a yacht cruise stumbled across the island. We girl was injured. Oh, she's fine. She's fine. Oh, good. She lives. Used the incident to

1:09:03 take control of Injen from me. Well, yeah. Maybe they should, bro. Our last chance at redemption. John, no. I get it though, bro. Like, would you? He was almost eaten by a T-Rex. Yeah. No, dude. You've been eaten almost multiple times. I'm good. You didn't contact Sarah. Paleontological behavior study is a brand new field and Sarah Harding is on that frontier. What are you doing? God damn it. God damn it. He said, "Ah, [ __ ] Too late. She's already there." She's already there, dude. Damn, dude. He's like, "Yeah, I know. I strategically picked you last. It's not a research expedition anymore. It's a

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