0:00 Today, I want to talk to you about listening. What role does listening play in communications? Is it a skill that we actually need to focus on attention to? And I say yes. You know when someone is not listening to you. They're either like completely dazed, far-off look, maybe they're distracted, on their phone, or maybe they're think trying to think about the next question that you can see that their brain is working. It's It's not great, isn't it, when someone is not listening to you? It feels pretty Now, on the other hand, you know when someone is paying their undivided attention to you, really listening to you. You've got their attention hooked in.
0:47 That feels pretty great, doesn't it? And what is happening then? You're building trust. You're building a bond. You're building a relationship. It's It's Listening is so important for relationship building. I employ listening in many areas of my life. Growing up, I was rather reserved. And in fact, even till today, I consider myself an introvert. And there's lots of conversations about whether introverts can make good leaders, and I say 100% yes. But there are also moments in my life that I choose to be the listener. I'm happy to let someone else do the talking. And what I've realized over time is that is what has helped me to build a reputation of trust with my
1:35 friends and my family. In leadership, when I was leading a team, I used to ensure that I would have one-to-one scheduled with everybody. And it was really an an opportunity for me to give them my focus, my undivided attention, just for them, and they could use it however they wanted to use it. And often I would start with an opening question about tell me what's on your mind. Now, of course that meant I never really know what I was going to get from that conversation. So, sometimes it's hard for me to be prepared. But that's when the listening became even more important. And asking more of the clarifying questions around like the more coaching like questions
2:21 for that conversation. Really let them do the talking and my role was simply to be the listener. At a recent round table in Sydney, I was reminded by a leader of the importance of listening or how she now uses listening in her leadership. She now says that she dedicates her time to listening and is by far the most important currency and influence. And in so many leadership stories that I read about they leaders often bring it back to listening. So, say for example, you've got a new CEO coming into an organization. The ones who succeed are not the ones who kind of go in and start giving in new directives. It's the ones who take the time to listen, to ask questions and
3:06 spend time when they're with their employees. I've experienced this first hand by some fantastic leaders that I have worked with and I saw them demonstrate that and I could see with that first 6 months they just spent time getting to know everybody and listening. As a podcast host, listening is my gift. I dedicate 1 hour to listening to somebody's stories. No agenda. Pure curiosity-led questions. I listen to them, I listen to myself and I allow my curiosity to guide the questions. To guide the conversation. To create a space where I can focus my attention on one individual and have them share
3:52 their story with me and that is an honor. And in my experience I've also learned that that is something that we rarely do. That we actually take a moment to share our story. I think the only time we actually do it is for a job interview, but if for job interview there's always a purpose so we will tailor the stories, we'll tailor our experiences based on what is the job that we're interviewing for. But here I am just taking a moment of time to capture your story and allow me to shine the light on inspiring women. As a facilitator or moderator, whether we're using it whether we're in a meeting or we're leading a panel listening is actually the most important skill required. Now yes, for a meeting
4:38 you'll have agendas prepared for a panel, you know, the hope is as a moderator you're going to get together with your panelists, prepare the questions, see what where they want to take the discussion based on the topic. But on in the moment, live, present in that meeting listening, being fully present is going to be the most important thing that is required. Depending on what's happening in that meeting you may need to direct the conversation in a different direction. You may need to pick up on the ones who are not saying anything and invite them into the discussion. As a panelists, well on the panels, as a moderator you listen to what is being said because I can guarantee you what you talked about in the panel is definitely not always what is covered as well live on the day. So you pick up on that and maybe you'll see say there'll be oh
5:25 this is another interesting point. Allow your curiosity to drive that conversation. Don't be so fixed on the questions that you already prepared and react to what's happening in the moment in front of you. As a coach we hold the space by listening. In a safe space, a judgment free zone where I work together with my clients to ask them the questions to help unravel what's going on for them. To help unravel to understand what action they can take next. My role in that moment is to listen and to ask questions and to be guided by them. You know, there's always so much going on in our lives, but I find in that
6:10 coaching moment when you have committed that time for yourself that is time for yourself and nobody else. And we rarely do that. We're always so consumed by all the other things that are going on. But here is a moment, an hour, two, whatever amount of time is allotted. And I hold that space as a listener and I guide you through that conversation. And I also am paying attention to more than just the words that they're saying. And sometimes it's what they're not saying. What are the non-verbals telling me? And so that is now an important segue because listening is indeed more than just the words. Are you paying to attention to their body language? Are
6:55 you paying attention to maybe what is not being shared? Are you paying attention to the facial expressions? Are you paying attention to the vocals? Is it loud? Is it soft? Is it fast? Is it short? What's happening in the body? Are we are we so if we're so in our own head and we're not giving our attention to our listening skills, we cannot notice these details. Often the non-verbals and the silence speaks louder than words. What is your interpretation of it and how are you going to use it in that conversation? And finally, I want to talk about listening to yourself. Listen to your intuition, listen to your gut, you know, however you want to call it. How often are you listening to
7:41 yourself? And when I say listening to yourself, it's not necessarily the stream of thoughts that are going on in your head, but it's actually the the one that is guiding you to take an action. There's so many times in my life, both personally and professionally, when I did not listen to my intuition. And they have backfired for me. Now, I'm still working on not being so hard on myself in that situation. Forgive myself, show myself some compassion. Every experience is a learn, you know, an opportunity for growth, an opportunity for learning. But is there are there moments in your life when there's something in you that's nudging you to take an action? Reach out to that person, ask for that
8:26 coffee, do that post, send that email. Do it. That is your intuition. That is listening to yourself. Do you recognize how you're using listening in your communication? I'm Noreen, a community builder, gender balance champion, and communications advocate. And I help you to harness the talent of your voice.
