good bye

0:00 Hi everyone. So this is uh different and somewhat serious. I am coming to you today to announce my graduation and a new chapter of my life is about to begin I feel like and streaming is not a part of it. This chapter of my life is closing and another one opens. Um, this is

0:46 this is a big decision. This is crazy to me. I am going to tell you guys why and tell you guys my plans so that we're all on the same page cuz I love you all. so so much. I feel like I'm almost going to cry. I I really appreciate every single person who's ever followed, subscribed, cheered bits, messaged, lurked, raided, gamed with me.

1:34 absolutely anything, given me shout outs, just any type of support I've ever received, I am so beyond grateful. And just a big shout out to my mods, Nox, Super Cookie, Professor Roxus, my old mods like broken who was there in the very beginning. It's been it's been wild. It's been crazy. It's been a journey. I couldn't have done it without any of

2:21 you guys. Thank you to my regulars for always being in my streams and chatting with me, letting me into your lives, letting me hear about your weeks and your days, your ups and your downs, your milestones in life. I've seen so many of you grow up. I've seen so many of you graduate school, university, get jobs, get your licenses. I've seen you all like flourish into beautiful people and it's been I'm actually going to cry.

3:06 It's been really amazing. It's been really really amazing. And um I'm really sad to see it end. I I started streaming to make friends. I've told this story before. I used to game by myself all the time and um it was getting to a point where I was basically feeling like gaming was um I was feeling guilt for gaming and my brain was like well why don't you turn gaming into a job quote unquote stream and you won't feel

3:51 guilty and maybe you'll make friends along the way and I definitely have done that. I've made so many friends doing this and um met so many amazing people, people I'm going to remember for the rest of my life and hopefully speak to for many more years. Um, I uh gosh, I've been thinking on this for a while, graduating, leaving Twitch for

4:40 for the better half of the year, and you guys have all been there to to see it. My ups, my downs, my breaks in streaming. those moments where I'm like, "Oh, I was thinking of quitting, but actually I'm not going to." Um, psyche, I'm back. Just these up and down moments. And I think this year as well has been very pivotal in my IRL life as well. I've had a lot of issues in my work, um, my job, my time management, my mental health. There's been a lot of things affected um this year. Um but also things affected for the

5:27 better. I um as you guys know, I stayed at that Airbnb for my birthday and ever since then, I've really had this inkling to stop streaming. Um, it I did I did what I love. I did what I love. I I went on an amazing hike and I just experienced life as it should be lived and it was beautiful. It was amazing. And I It's not that I feel like I'm missing out. It's not that I feel like streaming is taking too much of my time. It's the

6:12 fact that I think I'm done. I'm okay to close this chapter. This moment in time is special and I'm happy that it happened and I wouldn't change it for the world. And I think it's time for me to take on a new venture, work on hobbies I've neglected over the years. Um, a big reason for me stopping my streaming is um, even though I feel like this year has been my most successful yet in terms of viewership and partner could be a possibility for me. It really could. But I never started streaming to

6:59 be partner and having to fulltime work an IRL job and then full-time stream on top of content creation, posting regularly, interacting with people, managing collabs, the networking. It's it's a lot. And then you add on to that me just taking care of myself, taking care of my dog, any hobbies, god forbid, I have outside of streaming, it runs me low. I run out I I run out of energy. I don't have well I feel I don't have the time to really pursue everything. And that's why I'm partly okay with this

7:44 decision because our life is a story and stories have highs, they have lows, climaxes, resolutions, conclusions and [Music] yeah, I keep referring to it as a chapter, but this chapter is closing. I am ready to pursue new interests. I have been going out more. I have so many things planned IRL for this year to really push myself out of my bubble and stop being so introverted. Not that that will ever change, but I've

8:30 clung on to it as a safety net to not do things because I'm introverted where as I can do things as an introvert, just do them as an introvert would do them. And um I just I think I'm [Music] content is the best way to put it really. I'm content. I'm happy with what we've created, what we've made, what we've achieved. I'm happy with the impacts we've made throughout the years, the charities we've donated to, the giveaways we've done, your support to me through again the bits and the

9:16 subs and the donations, you guys pulling together at the start of this year to help me with a surgery. I didn't even end up doing. And me foolishly, not even foolishly, just feeling very silly when I had to refund everybody was quite humiliating. But everyone was so understanding and and I'm just so honored to have a community that would go out of their way to support basically a stranger on the internet to do that for me is just especially me cuz I've never

10:08 [Music] I've never really had anyone. And the thing is is I say this a lot and I know a lot of people say this, I don't have any friends. I don't have any friends, but like I don't I really don't. I don't have any. I've never really known what it's like to have people who truly care about you and actually like you. Hello. You guys like me. It didn't didn't feel real. It doesn't feel real. And yet it is [Music]

10:55 now. [Music] Where to from here? Well, my little tiny babies. Basically, here's the plan. We have our 5year anniversary coming up in September, and we're going to make it a big one. We are going to go hard, my boy. Um, Twitch has the uh well, Twitch has that beta. I showed it in the in Discord pings. Twitch has that beta beta uh sub discount. So, I'm just going to like whack that bad boy on for like as many hours as I can and just flood through

11:42 it. We'll do a massive celebration stream for the anniversary, affiliate anniversary. We'll just go absolutely crazy and just hang out and have a good time. And then I will try my best to stream as per regularly regularly until the end of the year. And then we'll do a final New Year's stream where I'll say goodbye officially. It's bittersweet. And don't get me wrong, I may stream here and there, but not

12:29 like I am now. Maybe once a month I might pop in and be like surprise and if you catch me and catch me and it'll be more so just to kind of catch up with you guys cuz I will miss you. Um, I will still be active in the Discord server. The Discord server will still be up. We'll still be doing our weekly movie nights as well because like I said, I love you guys and I appreciate you. I do consider you guys my friends. Even if we've never hung out before, you guys have been a part of my life through a lot. You've been through like things you guys don't even know I've gone through. You guys have been there. I've cried on

13:15 stream from sad games to anxiety attacks to things just not going right in my life. And all I can do is come on stream and cry to the people I know care about me. And so I don't want you to feel like you're losing me. I don't want you to feel like I'm disappearing cuz I'll still be here. I'll still be active in the Discord. You can still message me and we can still game offline if you guys want to hang out. I'm more than happy to do so. It's just I won't be streaming. I want to prioritize other things I really enjoy. Things like my writing, which admittedly I did try to incorporate into streaming, but streaming is just too distracting. I

14:01 can't stream and write at the same time. I get far too distracted. I really want to get back into my writing. I want to get back into my art. I want to get back into reading. I want to get out more. I want to go on more hikes and do things that streaming has somewhat stopped me from doing for multiple reasons, whether it's staying up too late and not waking up in time for appointments or things like that. And yes, of course, that's my own fault. I could just end stream and I could just stop. But sometimes you can't control stream. You can't control it. It just happens. But it is

14:47 affecting my life for better and for worse. And [Music] yeah, I think I've rambled on enough. I think I've rambled on enough. You guys get the point. I am saying goodbye. I love you all. you really do mean the world to me. Um, if you have any thoughts or feelings, please don't hesitate to DM me or write in the Discord how you feel about this situation because I know a lot of you have been here since the beginning and it's probably shocking, but it's something that needs to be done.

15:33 So yes, I will just reiterate again. I will be active in the server, movie nights, o open DMs, we can game offline, whatever you guys may like. I may stream maybe once a month if that whenever I feel like I, you know, miss you guys. And I'll probably still be active on Twitch and other people's communities as well. Um like chatting in people's um streams and things like that. Um, but to really summarize, I'm graduating. So, uh, goodbye, guys.