MARRIAGE BY GOD'S DESIGN

0:00 The theme for our discussion this morning is marriage by God's design. Marriage by God's design. And our text is from the book of Matthew chapter 19 verse 3-6. The Pharisees also came to him testing him and saying to him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" So you realize that there was a motive behind the question. The the the motive behind was not to get an information is to test him to trap him. Hallelujah. Marriage questions often become traps. You know when the Pharisees questioned Jesus about divorce, they were not seeking truth. They were testing him.

0:47 And Jesus did something powerful and wise. He took them back to the beginning. Hallelujah. He said now and he answered and said to them, "Have you not read?" Those of you who say, "Papa, I want to marry. Have you read?" When they came to Jesus with the problem of divorce, he said, "The problem is not divorce itself." For whatever reason, have you not read? You want to marry but you've not read. Information zero passion thousand. I want to put a woman in the family way is your passion. I want to be a mother is your passion. I want to be a father.

1:34 I want to be a husband cannot be the passion. Many times when you see problems not just divorce in any area you are not well read in that area. The Jesus's response is so instructive. He said have you not read? And you know the interesting thing about this analogy is that in Jesus's day writing was not such a big deal. Do you it was not widespread. They didn't even have papers. They didn't have tablets like that. They had but most times people have to go to the you know synagogue for the Bible to be read to them. But Jesus expected them to have read. Even back in the time when people didn't have personal libraries there were no bookshops selling books. writings were on big carvings of wood

2:22 virtually you can't carry like this verse like this is written on a big wood but God still expected them to have read back then can you imagine now that you have a mobile phone PDFs physical libraries and you are still not read but you want to marry when you see a problem anywhere in any marriage the people are not well read and what reading does is that it gives information. You can't tell many young people who want to marry without information. The passion is on the high. I want to marry. I want to fall in love. Sometimes it is God's grace that has kept you single. Because if you have gone the way you are now, you spoil your OWN LIFE. YOU SPOIL

3:09 someone's life. The knowledge you need for the thing to work is absent. passion will not keep it. Have you not read? It was an expectation. How are you even a Pharisee? Those were the writers of scripture and you asking such a dumb question. You see, many people wait till there is a problem before they start seeking solution. Have you not read? Ask your neighbor, have you read? How many chapters on marriage have you read? How many books? What the what is the information that you are taking in? Have you not read that he who made them at the beginning made them male and female? So he took

3:56 them back to design. Whenever you see a problem anywhere, there is an aberration of design. When this microphone spoils, there is an aberration of how it was made to function. So if it drops, it will not function well. So you see many people don't understand problems when they arise. Any problem in your life is an operation of design. If you don't understand design, you will not understand why things go wrong. It is not like oh we just woke up one day. No, you just didn't wake up. You didn't understand the design. That this was not made to stir soup. Dear God say this, it was not made to stir soup. So if it falls in soup, it will spoil. Your chair is by design made to hold a

4:42 certain level of weight. If the weight is too much, it will break. So when you see things breaking, things spoiling, there is a certain design principle which is abused. So the question this morning is that you want to marry or you are married but do you understand the design in the beginning? He took them to the beginning that he who made them made them what? Male and female. Even though literacy was not widespread in the first century Judea, Jesus still expected spiritual leaders to know what was written, knowledge was not optional. Ignorance is dangerous in every area of life, especially marriage. You cannot succeed in what you don't understand.

5:27 You cannot build what you do not know. You cannot build what you don't value. If you don't value knowledge, you cannot build anything formidable. When you see anybody broke in an area of their life is not because they came from a poor background. There are many people who came from poor backgrounds who did well with life. The problem is a certain understanding of design. Hallelujah. And a certain knowledge, a body of knowledge you are lacking. When it comes to your academics, when it comes to relationships, it comes to money, it comes to spirituality. There is a body of knowledge that guards it. There is a body of knowledge that guards the practice of medicine. You cannot go to theater and use a kitchen knife to cut someone open. You say that's what's available and is

6:13 sharp. In surgical practice there is a body of knowledge. In medical practice there is a body of knowledge. In in economics there is a body of knowledge. In governance there is a BODY OF KNOWLEDGE. WITHOUT a body of knowledge there are problems. In finances there is a body of knowledge. Today I challenge you and I'm asking you, have you not read? We expect you to read. Tell your neighbor, we expect you to read. Vibes will not do vibes. Vibes. I like him. She likes me. You know, I can't live without you. I can't breathe without you. Ask it will shock you. 4:6 says that my people are not

6:59 perishing because the devils are big. My devil you know the my people are not perishing because devils have become more powerful. My people perish for lack of knowledge and many people are still perishing in finances in different areas for lack of knowledge. Jesus said, "Have you not read this week? Start reading before you start asking for a beloved. before you start sliding into someone's DM and some of you are already in relationships that are not working. Some of them are working but are beginning the decline is coming like you can smell trouble is coming. Have you not read? Let me tell you something. When I married when I got married few years into marriage I realized that I can marry for my son. You know there are people when you see

7:45 say hey whoever will marry this one is in trouble. No, I'm telling you that. No, I'm see if you meet any mar talk to Mr. Nan or any married person when you now marry, you will know what to avoid with your life. You know what to run from. If they gave people a second chance, there are things will not do. I'm telling you, those days it was easy for parents to marry. When they see a fatal lady walking in the village, they said, "This is the one." With no education, but they can tell that and they held families together. With our education, we can't hold families. An inexperienced person would go with

8:30 passion vibes vibes. I'm a doctor, she's a doctor, you know, or or he's spiritual, I'm spiritual. >> Should we tell them He is a prophet. You know >> I remember back then >> I saw a lady you know I don't see many women operating in the prophetic you know we don't say prophetic propheric. So as a young pastor called and I know there was a calling on my life saw a lady who operated in the prophetic. You know I had plans for you before that as I come and teach and preach they

9:15 should prophesy. Wow. How powerful would it have been for the edified church if lady pastor came and said come here. Marriage doesn't work like that to have you not read >> Have you not read? Have you have you not read that in the beginning he made them male AND FEMALE? WHY WHY DID HE BRING THAT? YOU COULD HAVE JUST said oh no you can't divorce for any reason but he took them and schooled them. I love Jesus is deep. Number one he said problems exist because you don't appreciate that in the beginning the one who made them made

10:02 them male and female. that we are not the same, that you are not made alike. You get what I'm saying? And many of you want to marry someone who is like you. That's the beginning of the divorce story. Do you get what I'm saying? Yeah. The beginning that people are not going to be like you and it's okay. There is no problem with someone being different. Some of you are looking for yourself. You got what I'm saying? like you're looking for someone I like going out. Let me find someone who goes out that you know that's that decision is why it's going to fail. It's not going to travel far. He who made them did not make them male and male. He did not make

10:49 no sometime we the boys we live with each other like we understand each other. I mean many times we feel like the world would be easy if it was just boys. There are no tensions around. When we disagree the next day, what's up? Make go talk or something. Then it ends there. There's nothing like let's sit down and talk about this. We have to talk about this. Talk about what I make. Sorry. I mean, SORRY. THAT'S THE END. It it would have been an easy one if my wife was like that with me. I just noticed that in the past how many years I've not had any problem with my male friends? Many years. 20 years. No problems. We just like we don't even talk for weeks you then we take off from where we left off. But you treat a woman like

11:36 that they are not like you and I know what you want. The girls also want the boys who gist with them. We we don't respond to the gist. We are the one who made them made them male and female whatever you are looking for yourself. Many times we are looking for ourselves and you because you've lived with yourself so long you've become comfortable with yourself. Some of you have been single too long. >> You have become comfortable with your way of doing things. I was talking to a brother who met a

12:23 sister and he didn't want to marry the sister. So I asked what the problem was. He said, "Oh, you know, she doesn't like doing this and this. She doesn't like being house strolls." I said, "Won't a maid solve this problem?" Because he's rich. You got what I'm saying? But because he he grew up doing house chores and he's in his home, you have to do house chores. He's looking for someone who does house chores. >> No. I said she even came to visit me. I was going to wash. She didn't offer. It's not like I would have It's not like I would have allowed her to wash, but she didn't even offer to do it. Then I asked, won't a washing machine solve

13:10 this problem? So I asked her, is she a good person? Very good. Is she wellnatured? VERY WELL NATURED. BUT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE who is like you. The one who made them in the beginning made them male and female. I've helped some of you who are looking for strange things, who are looking for certain eyes to be dotted. I'm not saying marry an imperfect person, but understand that the one you are marrying is not like you. They don't look at life like you. They don't see through lenses like you see through the oneness that will come in marriage. We will talk about because it's still there. Hallelujah. >> But when you are looking and you find,

13:57 you are not going to find something that looks like Adam. Adam, what I'm making is tender. It's delicate. It's not ragged. It's not I red like you. It's not muscular. It is different. It is different. Hallelujah. The one who made them made the male and female. Oh hallelujah. >> One is more emotionally expressive. One is more analytical and structured. One is one may be more processor oriented. The other is more process processes things internally. These differences are not for

14:43 competition. They are for completion. Many of you go and you think your differences are competition. And many relationships have failed right now not because the people are bad because people didn't understand difference and people didn't respect difference because you like talking on phone. Someone doesn't like talking on phone. And it's okay. They are not bad. They love you because they have not talked WITH YOU FOR 3 HOURS AND YOU LIE TALKING because you express love that way. Someone else expresses love differently. Now I'm telling you many rel especially good Christian relationships didn't work because the women didn't understand the men and the men didn't understand the women. You are looking for another boy.

15:30 What you actually looking for is another boy. Pastor said you are looking for someone who actually punch yeah what's up everything cool you okay we'll meet next two weeks that's what you are looking for the one who made them made them male in you will you see if you do not understand the design you will misinterpret the difference what you call difficult may simply be different you know Christianity especially many Christian we don't understand difference that someone can be spiritual and not be like us you know you know the way charismatics look down on orthodox Christians do you

16:16 know they gave birth to us do you know they preserve the bible you know it was orthodox Christians who died for the faith we we don't die when the gun comes we run do you know some of the you know Martin Luther was a Catholic priest do you know that some of the People who preach sermons and people cried were were not like us. They were not as expressive. So someone may pray in their hearts and you may pray multilingual tongues. The one who made them made them male and female. It was not only the sexual organs that were different. The design was different. And I'm saying that it's not always male and female as in how we are. I'm talking about when you meet someone what that female that you have met is different. You the female who is

17:02 expecting a man to be a certain way before they can be your husband. In your mind low key you have a criteria that the person that you've brown them they are not going to be like the picture you drew because you didn't make them the one who made them before they decided to fall in love made them different. Hallelujah. People don't like my ceremony. It looks like ah you expecting something. What? What do you want me to preach? >> Number three. Hallelujah. >> Then he says that what does he say? For this reason and said, for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. So number one, a man shall leave the

17:48 principle of separation. The way the design was made in living is not a geographical activity. It is psychological. It is emotional. It is relational. There are things that must be left behind. Childhood dependency, parental control, unhealthy relational ties, past sexual history, old habits, individualistic thinking must be left. You must leave many things behind before you fall in love. Many of you are deeply ingrained in things and are in love. It doesn't work that way. If you've not mastered how to live, don't don't go and fall in love with anyone. You are so, you know, ingrained in your

18:36 past ways and you are falling in love. It won't work. You must leave some things. You know, you cannot say this is how I am, accept me. You must leave some things behind. The way you do things by design there must be some living before cleaving can happen. Leaving first. So the question is what must you leave for this to work? Because if you hold on to everything it won't work. It is guaranteed. Even if you know there are marriages that travel 40 years and fail. It was like a time bomb that will explode in 40 years. So you know many people are deceived when things are working now. They cannot see beyond. They cannot anticipate. said that the simple man goes ahead,

19:21 does not see danger and is punished. Many people have been punished in this life because they couldn't anticipate danger by design. There are things that must be left. Some of you the way you are is not good for relationships. You are too selfish. You look for yourself too. You've looked for yourself your whole life. At this point, you must start looking for others. Otherwise, when you enter a relationship, you spoil someone. Some of you are mommy's boy. Everything mommy everything daddy you discuss everything with your parents if you go in like that small thing that he has done you've reported to your mother >> so I talk to my mother every evening or my my sibling is my bestie that people who can never become friends

20:06 with their spouse because they never left another friend there was a time you didn't have a sibling there was a time they were born there was a time you got to know them it was intentional If you cannot leave some things, you cannot cleave. And I'm saying that there are people who are single out of God's grace because as I know you have held on to some things. Some of you are so tribalistic. You will follow tribe and go and make mistake. Are they not cheats in Kumasi? Are they not cheats in Angloan? Are they not cheats in Cape Coast? Are there no unfaithful people in Batanga or

20:53 I oh I don't know whether you are getting me are there no hard people everywhere you have to leave some perceptions you have to leave some things if you cannot leave it won't work so Jesus was taking them through a process first the way they were made two what they have to leave what at all was Adam leaving he didn't have a family. I don't know whether you are getting me. He didn't have a mother and father. He didn't have siblings but he was alive before for a while before Eve came. He was used to playing with the animals with the monkeys jumping in the trees with them. He was used for you know hunting food for only himself. Now you are getting another person. You must leave the way you reason about finding

21:39 food to include another person. Otherwise you will spoil this. Hallelujah. And he said that and the two shall become one. The the cleave part when you say cleave it means that oneness and the two shall become one flesh. The word joined implies being glued together. You see someone is the one who applies the glue. You can put the two surfaces together. If the glue doesn't come, it doesn't hold. And that's why God is is is the important aspect of every relationship because no matter how much you like each other, sometimes you see you are two rough surfaces. Two different surfaces that cannot it's just like trying to bind water and this

22:24 microphone. It can never be bound. There has to be a third agent that puts them together. They may enjoy their company. They may complement each other. But for the cleaving part becoming one, God has to do it. You know, you can live with someone for 50 years and never be cleaved. I'm telling you, just because people are staying together, just because people are even wearing the same fabric. Some of you have plans that when Wow. that you wear the same fabric to church. It does not mean you have cle the cleaving process is what God does. There are things that you must do. God made them. Now God expected them to leave. Now it's God who makes the

23:10 cleaving possible to be together to fellowship together to become one flesh. There is not you know there is no way two different things can become one if not for a miracle. The miracle of marriage is what God brings into the union. The miracle of it is that God is able to make two things that are not the same come to perfect unity. Hallelujah. You see that people who cleave on the level of sexual you know sexual shenanigans they they are compatible. There are people who are sexually compatible who cannot live together. There are people who can you can have sex with and you can enjoy the sex but it was never meant to be together.

23:57 You can be compatible on many levels but the cleaving aspect God must approve it. That's what God has brought together because the people that who are together who God didn't bring together they themselves have brought their own glue it won't last you know there are some glues you buy it doesn't last like he appears to have held the thing together but time revails time will show that the thing nah it didn't catch me it's what God does see when God joins humans must not divide you know when God approves of the thing he himself joins it it's not what we do is heaven's approval for what the pastor is. It's not a pastor who puts together. It's God.

24:42 It's God. It's God. A hallelujah. >> See, but for you to become one, there must be deaths to selfishness. For you to become one, there must be deaths to ego. For that oneness to happen, there must be deaths to me first. Hallelujah. For that oneness to happen, there must be deaths to independence. Marriage is not for individuals. It's for covenant thinkers. You must stop asking what do I want and you must start asking what strengthens us. A hallelujah. Many people are I want this, I want that, I want this, I want that. You must start thinking of what God had in mind. A hallelujah. So then they are no longer two but one. Therefore what God has joined together.

25:28 Let no man separate. Then look at what the disciples said when Jesus gave this principle that the principle of marriage is that the oneness that comes, the fellowship that comes cannot be broken. You can decide to leave each other but cannot be bro. So then they are no longer two by one. Oh, I've read this one already. Or it's still like this seven. They said to him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce and to put her away?" I think next week I'll preach this one. The hardness of hearts. If I want to start, we will not finish. Some of you the way you are stubborn. You know you smile. YOU SAY YES PLEASE. BUT YOU ARE STUBBORN.

26:16 It's not the hardness of your voice. It's not the hardness of your smile. It is the hardness of something deeper. Oh, my father told me before. Yeah. Some of you like you take pride in being stubborn. The hardness of heart. You are not malleable. Hey, marriage. You have to be malleable. Some of you say me I don't take this. You take it. You smile. You see you swallow it and smile. You you you meet a married person say me I can't take this from anybody. You take it gladly. You smile whilst taking it and you even say thank you. You are not malleable. You are so hard stiff. Take pride in it. No one can do

27:03 this. No one can do that. Is the pride with which you've lived your life. You have to accommodate someone. You know Jesus gave the reason why problems come. The hardness of the hearts of people. But I don't want to go there yet. Some of you if you go like this you disturb someone's son or daughter. Some of YOU SAY YES PLEASE YES PLEASE. BUT IN YOUR HEART you have decided what to do. Yes pastor. Yes ma'am. Yes dad. Yes ma'am. But you have your plans. The hardness of heart. See sometimes when you are looking for red flags what people look for is not what they should look for. I'm telling you many times when people are looking for red flags. They looking for a wife, Peter. They are looking for someone who drinks.

27:50 Many people here don't have that, but they are not for you. Look for someone who is just stubborn. Avoid them with your life. It's a red flag. Stubborn. Yes, I'm telling you, avoid them. He says that the reason why this divorce thing has come up is because people last. Some of you say, "I will not talk to him. No one can change that for two weeks. Not even your morning devotion. You now you don't fellowship with God. You don't do morning devote. You know when you realize that people can take a grudge for a whole month. They've not been praying. >> They've not no they don't have a prayer life. You you have if let me help your relationship. There's a problem in a relationship now. There's no

28:35 communication for for three weeks. You now you don't pray. You don't join church. Look at just look around and look at people who you don't see on church prayer and you want to marry like this. No those who pray those who have been joining us in the because we know you don't pray on your own. We we've asked your roommate your roommate says you don't pray. We go to bread of life. We don't see you there. So you don't pray. You don't jointed prayer too. You don't do don prayers because we do don prayer. We don't meet you at dawn. You don't exercise. No, because the reality is that when there are issues, one of the things that will make you go back to your wife and say Charie, let's get this over and done is God. There are many times the

29:20 person is wrong on all levels. If you want to go on the physical, there is no reason why you should be married. But someone who is submitted to God by the time you are done praying, the Holy Spirit has prompted you many times in a day. There there are people that are no prompt, zero, they out of coverage. No message delivers. So what the evil they plan to do they will never at any point say that the holy spirit has told me like do you get me no messages are coming and that's the one you falling in love with mo a person cannot say because of forgiving you a person cannot say actually I mean as I was praying today God was there saying that let's prioritize this relationship above ourselves let's find a way it's red flag if you don't have it

30:08 someone who cannot overlook wrong. I'm I'm bringing new red flags. Not the one that he doesn't have a car. He doesn't have a house. He's an man. You're looking for talisman. You are suspecting us. Wow. I'm saying hardness of hearts. I was going to ask you how many people know you are stubborn and you lift up your hand say God help us. Let's all lift up our hands and say God help us. Because low key the STUBBORNNESS IS what spoils it. What you have planned to do is what you have planned to do. Nothing can stop you. No one can talk to you. No

30:54 one can advise you. It's like you have planned to do something. Listen, be with someone who can be called and put to order. Someone who is teachable. Someone who can say, "Hey, go and go and make peace with your wife." Sharp. Do it quickly and call me back when you've done it. Some of who we can't take to anybody. Let's go to counselor to he said, "No, you can't manipulate me. You think you can manipulate me?" Hallelujah. Let's finish. But it looks like you are tempting me to go into places. Now I want to talk about three types of marriage and we will be done. Three types of marriage. Three types of marriage. Number one, traditional

31:41 marriage. Many of you here want traditional marriage. Low key you say you are a traditional man. Set is laughing. You know it's just cloth you've not tied around your waist walking around. In your heart you are a traditional man and you are looking for a traditional woman and the women are also looking for traditional men. Men who go and hunt for the family a soft life. I'm not going to go to any bush. My skin would suffer. No, I'm going to be home sitting princess. Sitting pretty pretty want a man who protects. A man who provides, a man who loves, >> a man who gives himself. Wow.

32:28 >> But do you know the thing about traditions? Traditions vary from tribe to tribe. If you go to one tribe, this is how the men are. You go to another tribe, this is how the you see. So you can see why it will not work already. Because traditions change. Traditional marriages are based on traditions and it changes even from generation to generation. You go back. Do you know that the we speak and the gun we speak is not the G our parents their parents parents. There are some words that have changed. Even the English we are speaking. So now when a pure English man speaks English you don't understand. When you watch the English Premier League and they interview some of the players you'll be trying to hear what is this person saying is English. Just that the one

33:15 that you are speaking is the watered down one. Even if you look at King James Bible, that's why we needed a new King James. It was written in English with the old English, we don't have it again. So you realize that even from generation to generations, traditions change. It means that the way your husband would behave or your wife would behave would vary based on their environment or how they were raised. Hallelujah. culture is a is a very powerful thing. Hallelujah. So we said three types of traditional marriage. Then we have contemporary marriage. Those who want contemporary trends.

34:01 Yeah. What's fashionable now? Want to do a wedding with a reception that we dance. Me I decided I was not going to dance for anyone. It was in my mind cuz now they say we should do choreography. the groomsman and the whatever you should now I I can't dance to save my life. So I told lady pastor when we enter the door I'll just wave. You know how Donald Trump does it. You spot someone in the crowd and do it. I see you. I see you. I'm not going to become a meme on the internet. Go a dance. I know it won't go well. Then you you know people hold phones by now you would have had evidence against me. Three years down the line, you still be sharing it. I'm not going to do all the trends. Hallelujah. Contemporary. What's the,

34:48 you know, traditional marriage favors the men because they can marry multiple. Yes. Open branches everywhere. You have siblings who are Russians. You have siblings, you know, who come from Afghanistan. They've opened branch everywhere. Nigerians, Kotocoli and everywhere. Cape co wherever they go they deposit seeds and they allowed it favors the men contemporary marriage it favors the women they take you to courts they take all your property but you now you don't have any property so there's nothing you know but when it so contemporary marriage is on trends and modernity and what's happening it favors the women much more than the men it's another type

35:34 of mar people low key want you know contemporary marriage You are in church but what you actually want is a contemporary marriage where your husband will do some things. So contemporary one husbands also cook, wives also cook. You know we all we are all busy. We we all went to work and came back. We are tired. Who should cook for the family? The one to cook for the family is the one that God made by design. In front of every woman now is food. They've been working with food. Having to realize that they manufactured you with food in front of you. You give birth right now. It will incubate milk and feed a baby for 6 months. Baby will grow. If you want to know generally who should cook for the family, look at the one that God gave a kitchen in the body.

36:24 A walking kitchen. I know this one I'll get into trouble for it. Some of you's face have changed because the plants you have. No, we are saying that the women have food on their body. God made it that way. A man has no food anywhere, you know. But there are exceptions. Sometimes the women are bad cooks. The only good food on them is the one God made. The others are a disaster. So if the woman doesn't cook and the man can cook, why not? Why should the man support? Because we are coming to the third kind of marriage which is recommended. It is the kingdom marriage. >> You got what I'm saying? The kingdom marriage. The kingdom marriage. It is no longer the women were made to cook, they were made to clean, we are made. No, no,

37:10 no, no, no, no, no. It's what God is saying that God said that men should love their wives like Christ loved the church. Do you know the church? Do you know what we call the church? It means loving someone who doesn't even look your direction. A stubborn person. Look at look at the way we behave. We are the church. We don't do anything in alignment with Christ. But he loves us to the extent that Bible said that he gave his life for her. The man you are called to die for those those who you claim you. That's kingdom marriage. die you. We've made you angry small you say

37:56 you won't do again. We have not even asked you to die. We've stress it's not the women they can stress us. We've just stress you small you say you are angry you will not do again. You are not serious. Kingdom mar kingdom marriage. >> Yeah. When you go to Ephesians is there kingdom marriage is by design a marriage where there is sacrificial love you now you see your wife struggling and you are watching football go and cut some of the okro cutting okro and going to the cross which is easier you have been called to die for her if need be sacrifice yourself for her so

38:42 you realize that in THE KINGDOM MARRIAGE WHETHER the woman had a moving pitching or not, you have been you have been made to help each other. Yes, the woman is a helper. But when I say the helper is not inferior help the same word that's used for the Holy Spirit, the helper and the Holy Spirit is not inferior to the church. If there is anything at all, he's superior to us. BUT HE'S CALLED our helper. Many women misunderstand when we say helper. It means that we are just helpers. Is the Holy Spirit just the helper? Without him there is no church. Don't you understand? Period. Clocking. The one WE CALL THE HOLY SPIRIT. WITHOUT

39:29 HIM there is no gathering. Whatever we are doing here is not called church without what we call the helper. And you don't realize your role in the life of a man. What makes this gathering divine is the helper and we we've given you the same name. You say it's inferior. You want contemporary marriage. A marriage which is supported by feminist on the internet. You are not wise. Contemporary mar no man is dying for anybody. In fact the man said that we can get the milk without paying for the cow. MEN DON'T TO MARRY NOWADAYS. THEN WHAT THE KIND OF marriage you want. You see God is wise. God has put a structure in place that puts a man in a position to die for you. You say you don't want it. You want the

40:14 one that the men don't care. You want the one that the men have have checked out in their mind, the one that side chicks, the one that the internet is portraying, kingdom marriage. I pray for everyone that your marriage will be a kingdom marriage. A marriage which which is based on the principles on the of the word of God. A marriage which is based on God's word. A marriage which is based on God's instruction. And you realize that that kingdom marriage is not possible outside God. No man wants to die for any woman especially a woman which is annoying you or no woman wants to die wants to submit to any wayward man. But look at the church Christ went

41:00 to the cross for. Look at the church he went for the cross for. It is something divine that makes a kingdom marriage. It is Christ at the center of it. It is a marriage that doesn't make sense. It is a marriage that people never understand. It's a marriage because there is something divine in. There is something heavenly in. There is something godly in. There is something you know that goes beyond what anybody is looking. a kingdom marriage. He said marriage where the man is sacrificial. It's not selfish. He said men wise up Hakimi. That's a contemporary marriage. You know, put the properties if you have money in the in the name of your mother and that's a that's the marriage you want. The men are wise now. They put the

41:45 marriage in a foundation something. Now there is law. You know the the current marriage we now have. You sign a document that say there is divorce you don't go with my property. But if you still want to go ahead, let's go ahead. It's a contemporary marriage. Traditional one two is there. Some of you want a combination of all a little bit, you know, collab like a little bit of traditional, a little bit of contemporary, a little bit of kingdom. And people like, you know, the ones that suit you in different categories. Women don't want to be traditional women, but they want traditional men. Men don't want to be, you know, traditional men. You don't realize that the traditional men provided for their families. You now you don't have money but you want to you say you are a traditional man you can't pro you don't say you are a traditional man with pride

42:32 do you know who the the traditional men they built homes for their family they they took care of everything family you say your wife should contribute 50%. There is nothing like continue. When you see people talk about such things, they've not met God. The two are supposed to bring 100%. That's it. Kingdom marriage, the two are sacrificial. The two are submitted to God. Nobody's trying to outsmart anybody. In relationships now, people are trying to outsmart their spouses and their beloved. Some of you are have plans. As you are in a relationship now, you have plans. You have exit plan. You know, you are just waiting. I met a guy who said that, you know, I'm just looking for something to happen. Then I say that I called you three times. You

43:19 didn't pick. It's over. There are people who are laughing because they know what I'm talking about. The kingdom marriage says that I will never leave you nor forsake you. That's what Jesus said to his church. It is devoid of whatever we will do. said, "I will never leave you. I am with you always." You think we're perfect till the end of the age. Look at what I've talked about. That's why the disciples said that no, it's not good for a man to marry. Do you know that it's in one of the verses where is it? Oh, you've jumped. Oh, you've gone to Ephesians. The disciples said that listen, it's not good for anybody to marry because it's impossible to his disciples said this is not the Pharisees.

44:06 If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry. Some of you who are saying I want to marry is I want to marry. If you really read, you realize that oh, let me take my time. If this is how the thing is, how many people were passionate to do something until you realize how there are crosses, you know, some of you, you've not read the contract. You know how you buy a software? Buy a software, you see a long contract, he say agree. I say I agree. Then you go ahead. I think back in the day one of the computer scientist wrote a program and then he wrote as part of the things this software would destroy your computer. They made a research. Nobody read it.

44:52 100% said okay I agree. Some of you if you have read it's not just reading. If you have gone back to God, you will not say okay to some things. I'm telling you the okay is because we are all in a rush. We are in a generation I want it now micro has to be king. Yesterday I put some food in the microw let me go and pee and come. So because when I pee I wash my hand by then to be king. Do you get me? So I then went to pee came back wash my hand and still cold. I said, "Ah, by now it should be hot." The microwave generation by now should have been married with three kids, but you've not read the contract. You've just jump and

45:39 I agree. Next. Have you not read? Be on your feet with me. Tell your neighbor, "Have you not read? >> Have you not read the contract? Have you not read when when they now when they now expose a little bit of the contract to them, they say it is better for a man not to marry. Put a scripture there. Some of you after reading the thing say oh no no no I'm not ready. Oh where is it? His disciples this is not even the unbelievers. His disciples said to him if such is the case the problem with many people is that they don't know such is the case. They are going ahead to to marry to fall in love to be in relationship and they

46:25 don't know what the case is. Have you not read there are things you must know by discernment? There are people who are not supposed to marry. I'm telling you people like Paul they understood it. Don't worry anybody's child after marrying they say no I feel the Lord is calling me >> into Zimbabwe to do some things there. But we can go to Zimbabwe to say no without you. Hey without you saying if such is the case of the man with his wife ask your neighbor do you know what the case is with the man. Now this is Peter not you this is Peter not set this is apostle

47:12 Peter said if this is the case and at the time Jesus was they were married with children say it is better not to marry I'm not discouraging you from marriage I'm just trying some of you already you have not you've not grabbed anybody you've been single so based on this sermon it is good not to marry we are not going to marry we are going to serve the lord No, no, no. If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry. But marriage is a beautiful thing. Marriage was made by God. It's a beautiful. It was one of the most precious things that God gave Adam.

48:00 But have you not read the reading is what makes it beautiful? The women having to realize that God thought about you and the men having to realize that God also thought about you. God taught about all of us when he was putting the marriage together. So those of you who have fallen in love, read the contract. Have you not read? How many people are going to read a book? >> You are going to read a book. You are going to watch videos. videos. Hey, hallelujah. Videos. There's a thing called family finances. Yes. Last week, someone brought me a gift says the school of money written by a Christian. I realized, hey,

48:46 how am I living almost 40 years of my life and now finding out? I should share with you. Go and buy. Have you not read? I'm telling you what ignorance has done to us. It will shock you. Yes. As we are all in school, you are calling yourself students. People don't want to marry. >> There many more who are not married. Sometimes a relationship can scar you forever. I tell you scarred that when a good man comes you spoil it because of what has happened. Listen, everyone here should talk to their parents. Especially you are you in the marriage age. Have a frank conversation with your parents about marriage.

49:34 There were many things you were shielded from that you never saw. I'm telling you there are fights you never saw. There are things that happened that you were shielded from as a child. The story you think you know about your parents is not like that. If you are married, some of you have to still go back and have conversations you should have had before marriage. Have them now pre in the preparation for marriage. Some of you there are devils that fought your fathers will fight you. Yeah. The same devils. There are family. You know there are territorial demons. You know that when you go to fishing communities, there are demons there. They are different from demons in New York. when you go to New Jersey like oh I'm telling you that places where there's just alcoholism where there's womanizing there are places you go all

50:19 the women have children without their fathers do you get me if you don't see trends you will not understand that there are things that fight people in certain places Africa we have our demons the demon in Africa has made Africa the same if you cross border you not realize you've cross border you what you see is that roads are not good the places are like it's like look at our capitals drive through you realize When you go to Kotonu, you go to Lum, you go is the same Nigeria, it's the same. You have few places that are nice. Then the rest of the places is the same demon working in Benin, in Cameroon. So understand, have you not read? Go

51:05 back, talk to your parents. Some of you are having struggles you don't understand. He came before you. Some of your mother struggle to marry you. You think you are beautiful, you educated. So it's the same demon who is fighting an educated one and an illustrate. Understand, have conversations, reflect, read pray pray. Many young people and you must marry. This is not to give you an excuse that oh you know I'll take a year to do consultation. You know they take a year to do consultation, another year to read. No no no no. We are saying that take it serious. We are saying that don't enter casually. We are saying that you are entering a covenant. We are saying you have come to the age of your life where you must

51:50 marry. But to do it you have to do it well. I pray for every young person here married and unmarried. Some of us are married already and the problems that we are seeing are because we've not understood design. Sometimes you understand design, your partner doesn't understand design, it will give you problems. So I pray for everyone in this room including myself. Oh God, have mercy on us. >> Have mercy on individuals. People who want to fall in love, people who want the best. Everyone wants the best for their lives. But wherever we are, whatever challenges there may be, have mercy on your people. Smile on us. smile on us. Help us those who are

52:38 married already and it is trouble after trouble or there are hardships in certain areas. Grant us wisdom to know how to navigate them and may our lives not remain the same again. In the name of Jesus Christ we pray. Amen. Oh hallelujah. Put your hands together. >> Thank you for listening to the sermons of Reverend Dr. Albert Agby. Be sure to follow us on Instagram @ edifyurch life. Listen to more of his sermons on our Telegram at Edify sermons and Edify Church Spotify platforms. Thanks for being a part of our Edify Church family. Be blessed by this word of God.